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Screaming. That’s all Lyall heard as he jerked awake. Remus was screaming. He sprinted down the hall of the little cottage he and Eleanor kept in Wales. A vacation home. The same home she was supposed to be meeting him and Remus at the next morning. Now it was filled with the screaming of their child.
Lyall burst through the door to Remus’s bedroom to see a creature looming over his wailing son. No, not a creature. A werewolf. A werewolf named Fenrir Greyback to be specific. The disgrace of a man grinned at Lyall and jumped out Remus’s bedroom window before he had a chance to process what was happening. And when he did his focus was on his son. Lyall was at his side in an instant while Remus howled in pain. That’s when he saw the blood. The blood coming from a bite on his shoulder.
No.
**********************************************************
Ellie hadn’t even left MACUSA for the day when the emergency messenger found her. She just stared at the young boy as he huffed to catch his breath until the words were out of his mouth. “Auror Scamander, it’s your son.”
She’d never moved so quickly to get to London. There was a portkey waiting for her in the basement that her husband had made clear in his message needed to be ready as soon as she was. The messenger told her word had been sent to her brother. That Joe was needed. And those words terrified her more. Ellie had casted a quick patronus and sent it to her parents to say Lyall had sent word that Remus had been hurt. And it wasn’t good. Then she was gone. She’d ran through the Ministry once her feet touched down in it. No one had questioned her.
The moment she reached St. Mungos, she was directed up one floor. When she burst through the doors into the waiting area, Ellie saw Lyall. He sat in a chair in the empty room with his head hung low. His arms rested on his knees and his leg was shaking. “Lyall?” There was a hesitation in him as he looked up. When she approached, he stood and collapsed into her. Ellie held him as the tears finally caught up to her. “What happened?”
“Starlight-“ Lyall was cut off by the doors swinging open behind her. Ellie pulled back to see Joe, frazzled but full alert, staring at them. “Joe, thank you-“
Her brother held up his finger as he stalked toward the healer only doors. The hard set look in his eyes made Ellie tremble. Joe only had that look when he was well and truly angry. He glanced between them before addressing Lyall. “Tell her what happened. Tell her why it happened. Elle, Mom and Dad are on their way. MACUSA was getting another portkey ready for them.”
Then he was gone. Off to help their boy. That was when she turned back to see the guilt in Lyall’s eyes. And she knew. Knew those stupid comments she’d gotten word of and told him quite plainly that they were stupid and dangerous on their mirror call earlier in the night had come back to bit them in ass. That their son was paying the price for his father’s moment of arrogance. Lyall didn’t even fight her when she pulled away. Didn’t seem shocked when her voice turned to ice. “You better pray he doesn’t die. Because if he dies, there is no corner of this earth where I won’t find you.” Her husband fell into a chair. He was sobbing. And Ellie wanted to comfort him. Wanted to hold him. But at the moment it was so difficult to even look at him.
“I’m sorry, Eleanor.”
“Tell that to the little boy currently paying the price for his father’s words.” She knew her insult cut like a knife. Knew it by the way he crumbled. But the door opening again didn’t give her time to worry.
“Ellie.” She turned to see her mother headed straight for her. That’s when she felt her own sobs coming. So she buried her head in her mother’s shoulder. Her mother was rubbing soothing circles on her back as her father went to comfort Lyall. And as mad as she was. As much as she wanted to rip his head off at the moment, she was thankful someone was comforting him. Because no matter how upset she loved him. Even if she couldn’t stand him in that moment. “Ellie, what happened?”
“Fenrir Greyback broke into the cottage.” Lyall whispered loud enough for all of them to hear. “He’s a werewolf whether the Ministry wants to admit it or not. And he bit Remus.”
Ellie’s head flew up then. She thought their son had been attacked. Suspected Greyback was involved. But never thought he’d bite Remus. But Lyall’s grave face made it clear. There was a chance her son, her sweet, bubbly little Crup would be a werewolf. That’s when Ellie passed out.
**********************************************************
Lyall just held Eleanor’s hand as they placed her in a room. The healers stated she was fine, just shocked and passed out due to the stress and lack of food. Because of course she hadn’t eaten. Tina was pacing the room while Newt had gone back to offer any help to the healers. As they sat there, Lyall felt the anger emanating from his mother-in-law. “Tina, I didn’t think before I spoke. And I didn’t know he’d gotten word-“
“Lyall, you said he should be put to death within hearing distance of the Prophet . There was a 99.9% chance he’d see it and track you down.”
He sighed. “I know.” His eyes stayed on Eleanor’s face, reaching out to brush stray hairs out of her eyes. “I put up extra wards around the cottage to be safe. I didn’t want to risk anything happening to Remus.” His heart was breaking. His entire world was shattering because he’d made a stupid comment on a trial while he and Monty had been leaving the Ministry the day before. Now his son might die because of the werewolf bite and his wife was unconscious because of the stress of the situation. His wife who may no longer want to be his wife after tonight. A fact he wouldn’t be able to blame her for. He’d mucked up their lives, mucked up Remus’s life. His son would be hated for something outside of his control if he lived. And Lyall hated himself for putting his boy in this position.
As he sat there and stared at Eleanor, Lyall felt Tina’s presence at his back. She leaned down and kissed the top of his head before squeezing his shoulder. “I know you didn’t mean for any of this to happen, Lyall.” Finally he broke his gaze from Eleanor’s face to look at her mother who seemed just as miserable as him. “And Ellie knows that too. But it’s going to take a while for her. She’s going to be angry for a while. I know you two will be able to weather the storm, but you need to be prepared for how angry she’ll be.” He just nodded. He knew she’d be angry. Knew he was mostly not returning to New York with her and Remus. His entire body felt numb at the knowledge of this, but he understood why.
Eleanor was slowly blinking awake and drew his attention away from the conversation with Tina. Without thinking, Lyall rose to cradle her face with a wave of relief flooding him. “Starlight?”
“I don’t want to talk to you right now, Wolf Boy.” The ice that had been in her words earlier was gone, but he knew she was still mad. It didn’t mean he dropped her face though. Eleanor stared at him for a long moment. When she spoke next, she wasn’t addressing him. “Did they say if the baby-“
“Everyone’s alright, Elle Belle.” Tina whispered as she moved to the other side of the bed. But that didn’t make sense to him. No one had been in to update them on Remus. And they hadn’t referred to him as a baby in-
“You’re-“ Lyall started as the realization hit him. Eleanor gave him a half hearted smile.
“I’m not very far along. Maybe eight weeks.” She turned to kiss his palm. “I was going to tell you when I got here for our vacation.” He felt stunned. She was pregnant. They were having another child. But he was just the reason Remus was now hurting. He’d brought them nothing, but pain. And Eleanor, his Starlight, who was no doubt upset with him was staring at him with love in her eyes. Love he didn’t deserve. “Wolf Boy-“ Lyall flinched at the beloved nickname as he stepped away from her. It was now tainted. Forever. “Lyall-“
“I need a moment.” He stepped outside of the room and before he could figure out where to run he saw a grave looking Newt and an angry Joe walking toward him. Before any words were out of his mouth, Joe walked right up to him and punched him in the face. Plenty of staff in Mungo’s were jumping into action, but Newt waved them off as the two friends stared at each other.
It took a long moment before Joe spoke. “I told you not to hurt her again. I told you.” Lyall opened his mouth to speak but Joe shook his head. “You are the reason Remus is hurt. So by default you hurt my sister. And Ly, one day I think I can forgive you, but right fucking now I want to kill you. Because my sweet nephew is in a hospital room confused out of his fucking mind because he almost died. Because you couldn’t keep your damn mouth shut!” Joe pushed him this time and Lyall didn’t stop him. Because his brother-in-law was right. He was the reason his son would be a werewolf for the rest of his life. He was the reason his pregnant wife had passed out due to stress. Stress that was only about to get worse because of the pain their son would begin to endure once a month. Stress that could cost them their second little miracle. “Say something you fucking idiot.” Bowing his head, Lyall took out his wand and handed it to Joe. His friend just stared. “Why-“
“I told you all if I hurt her again I’d give you my wand to finish me with.”
“I’m not going to kill you, Ly.”
“You should. I-“
“I’m not going to kill you because that puts all the responsibility on my sister. It makes her the breadwinner. The mother and the father. It makes her take on roles you promised to help her with. So you don’t get to be a coward when your son is sitting downstairs asking me where his daddy is. So go be with your son while I tell your pregnant, that’s right I know about the baby, wife about how her son will be in extreme pain for at least once a month for the rest of his life.”
Joe pushed away then. He stalked to Eleanor’s room while Newt squeezed Lyall’s shoulder. He looked over at his father-in-law who whispered, “Give Joe time, Lyall. It was bad. And I think he was terrified of letting you and Ellie down.”
“I let us all down.”
“You made a mistake. It’s going to take time to fix it. But go. Remus wanted you and Ellie. I’ll send her in a bit. He’s in room 135.” Lyall nodded and opened his mouth, but Newt answered his question before it was asked. “I didn’t know. She must have just found out.”
With that his father-in-law was entering Eleanor’s room. Lyall took a deep breath before making his way to Remus’s room. It took longer than he’d like to admit to work up the courage to enter, but his newly four year old son lit up when he entered. Making it hurt more knowing he was the cause of Remus’s pain. “Daddy!”
“Hi, Rem.” Lyall whispered as he sat in the chair by the bed as the healer in the room smiled at him. He reached over and brushed a few of Remus’s curls out of his eyes. “How do you feel, Crup?”
“My shoulder hurts, but Uncle Joey said that’s normal.” Remus’s eyes lost a little of the brightness they usually held before they perked back up. “But he said I could stay at his and Aunt Maddie’s when we get home and have a sleepover with Alex!” Lyall smiled at his son’s excitement to see his cousin. “Can I, Daddy?”
“Let’s wait until your mum is down here, okay? Then-“
“Mama’s here? She’s early!”
Lyall had to fight the sadness that overcame him at Remus’s excitement. Because yes Eleanor had arrived early. But not for the reason Remus would think. “Buddy, Mama is here. But um, she’s not here for our holiday. She came to make sure you’re alright.”
“I am alright! Can I see Mama now?” Remus insisted and Lyall looked to the healer who had a sad look on her face. Leaning forward, he placed a kiss on Remus’s forehead before rising from his chair.
“Mama will be down in a little bit, Rem. For now I need to talk to the healer, okay?” His son nodded and began fiddling with the toy crup Newt must have grabbed from the brownstone. It was the one Remus always slept with when he stayed with his grandparents. Fighting the sigh that was rising, Lyall turned to the healer and whispered, “Is he-“
“We can’t know for certain until the moon, but it’s looking more than likely.”
“Are there any remedies?”
The healer raised an eyebrow. “Mr. Lupin, you know the answer to that.”
Sighing to himself and nodding, Lyall answered, “I do. I just, he doesn’t deserve this.”
“No he doesn’t, but it’s happened. And wishing isn’t going to change that. Now, I have some information you and your wife will need to care for him before and after the moon.” Lyall listened as she explained the various preventive measures they would need to take to make the moons as easy as possible as well as the best ways to perform care after the moon. What potions would help best. What potions would now be less useful or not work for Remus at all. As the woman explained it all, Lyall tried to follow. He really did, but there was so much information being thrown at him that he knew he missed a bit. What he didn’t miss was when the conversation turned to where she expected his son to be during the full moon. “Of course the after moon check up will take care of some of this.”
“After moon check up?”
“Yes, it’s the appointment that occurs in the Ministry to ensure the werewolf is alright to return to society and-“
“The appointment in the Ministry? Madam are you assuming my son will be listed on the Werewolf Registry?” Lyall felt his blood boil. He knew his father-in-law’s creation had been twisted and manipulated into what it was now. A biased way to shun werewolves or for some sadistic members of society, hunt them for sport. Like hell would Remus’s name be placed on it.
“Mr. Lupin, by law he has to be-“
“By law, if he’s a British citizen you could make that argument, but my son was born in New York.” Lyall heard his voice raising. “He’s American and unless my wife decides we should have his name written on that heinous piece of legislation then I-“
“Your father-in-law is the one who wrote that legislation, Mr. Lupin, so I feel your wife will have a different opinion on this.”
**********************************************************
“Over my dead body is his name being put on that piece of shit!” Ellie seethed as she climbed out of the bed as her brother agreed she was fine to get up. He was helping her and had a pissed off look on his face and a swollen right hand. So he’d punched Lyall. Wonderful.
On top of that, her baby boy was down in his room recovering from a werewolf bite where they were positive he was now a werewolf. And her father, her loving, embarrassing, currently a dead man if he kept talking father was trying to convince her to put Remus’s name on the Werewolf Registry. “Little love, I know it isn’t what you want for him, but-“
She whirled around to glare at him. Her father wilted a bit as Ellie reached for her jacket that laid on the back of the chair that Lyall had previously sat in. “You know they have perverted that damn thing. It was meant to be a list that could help us learn how to treat werewolves, to help keep them safe, and instead it led to persecution and increased bigotry! And now you want me to add your grandson’s name to it?”
Newt Scamander stared at her for a solid ten seconds before he found anything to say. “Ellie, it’ll be a sign of good faith with the Ministry because of the whole Wizengamot debacle-“
“Since when have you given a shit about what the Ministry thinks, Dad?” The tears forming in her eyes made him take a step towards her, but she stepped away. “They have treated all of us like garbage for years. Now you want me to put Remus’s name on a list that will cause him more pain and anguish than he’s already about to go through because what? They all of a sudden want to kiss our asses? No. I don’t care what they do with the damn Wizengamot appointment, I’m not putting Remus’s name on that list. Especially when he doesn’t live in this godforsaken country!” She barreled out of the room and moved toward the stairwell. Ellie felt like she was sprinting. But she knew she wasn’t.
As she entered the first floor and made her way towards Room 135, she felt the bile rising in her throat. She didn’t give a damn that Remus was now a werewolf. He’d always be her son. What she hated was the pain he’d suffer. The hatred he’d be forced to endure. All of which wasn’t his fault.
That anger with Lyall rose again as she opened the door and saw him. Sitting next to their son who was playing with a stuffed crup she knew her father had to have brought. When she hesitantly entered the room, Remus looked up at her. A large grin crossed his face. “Mama!”
“Hi, baby.” She whispered as she walked to the empty side of the bed. Ellie leaned down to kiss his forehead and smooth his curls. “How’s my favorite man doing?”
Remus nodded towards Lyall as he whispered, “Daddy seems okay.”
Ellie fought the laugh as she kept her eyes on her son. “I meant you, Rem. How do you feel?”
“I’m okay. My shoulder hurts a little.”
Carefully with a practice eased she hated to admit she had, Ellie lifted the hospital gown to see the thick layers of bandages on her son’s left shoulder. Terrified to hurt him, she placed the softest kiss imaginable on his shoulder and smiled at him. “I hope that helps.”
Remus was already grinning at her before he yawned. “Mama, I’m tired.”
Glancing up at Lyall, making sure Remus would be fine to fall asleep, Ellie saw her husband nod. “Baby, why don’t you go ahead and take a nap then? I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“Daddy too?”
She hesitated. Ellie didn’t know how the next conversation would go. She didn’t want to promise them both if she did what she thought she needed to. Lyall seemed to sense her meaning behind the hesitation. “I may need to run home, buddy. Get things ready for you there, okay?” Remus had a pout on his face, but nodded. They both placed kisses on his forehead before they watched him drift off to sleep. Ellie waited a solid fifteen minutes, making sure Remus was truly asleep before nodding toward the hallway. Lyall followed her out with no complaint. They went to a little alcove next to their son’s room, casting a silencing charm before ever speaking. And when they did, Lyall started, “Starlight-“
Ellie didn’t let him finish. She slapped him. Her anger finally coming out. “What the fuck were you thinking?! I told you those comments would bite you in the ass and now look what’s happened!”
“Eleanor, I didn’t think he’d-“
“He did exactly what you’d think, Lyall.” She spat. Greyback did exactly what one would expect him to. He took out his revenge for her husband on their son. Their four year old son. Which was just a few years younger than the children he’d killed and been on trial for. “The moment we knew who it was you were helping facilitate the trial for I asked you, no I begged you to not lose your temper. Because of his track record.”
“He was guilty, Eleanor! And he got to walk! Everyone was angry about the verdict!”
Ellie just glared at him as an angry look set into Lyall’s eyes. “Not everyone had their four year old son with them.”
The devastation that flew through his eyes told her she’d landed the blow. “I put up extra wards. I knew my mistake the moment I saw the papers. I tried to protect him.”
“And yet you failed.”
“Don’t act like this is only my fault.” And that’s when she crumpled. Because he had a point. Because she wasn’t there. She’d stayed to help finish up a case instead of taking their holiday early. She was supposed to be there. And maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference, but maybe it would have. They wouldn’t know now. Lyall seemed to realize what he’d said because he was trying to hug her. “Starlight, I-“
“You meant it.” She whispered. “Because it’s true.” He tried to argue, but her stepping away made him stop. Ellie let the tears roll down her face as she looked him in the eyes and said the hardest words she’d ever say. “You can see Remus. I’ll make sure you do, you can stay at the house, but I can’t.”
“Starlight-“
“When we get home, Remus and I will stay at Mom and Dad’s. I’ll have Mom coordinate with you to see him, but I can’t do this right now, Lyall.”
“Ellie, please.”
She stared into his blue-grey eyes and saw the plea there. Saw the guilt. But he’d hurt her, hurt their son, and right now she couldn’t forgive him. “Just give me time, Lyall. I’m not saying this is forever, but right now I’m too angry with you to say I love you. And I just,” Ellie reached out to cup his face. “I just need time.”
“What about the baby?”
“I’ll keep you updated.”
“Ellie-“
“I’m not due until around September. We'll cross that bridge when we get there.”
As she turned to walk away, she heard his whisper, “I will make this up to you. Both of you.”
Turning she smiled at him. “I know you will, Wolf Boy.”
**********************************************************
The first moon had been awful. Lyall sat on Joe and Maddie’s couch all night as he waited for his best friend to get called to his in-laws in the morning. He hadn’t been able to stay at the townhome he and Eleanor had bought in Brooklyn. So he’d made amends with Joe. After breaking down on his brother-in-law’s front step. Just days after arriving home from England. Maddie had been the one to take pity on him and let him in. But Joe had spoken to him within minutes. They cleared the air. Lyall had explained how he’d thought Greyback would come for him. Not Remus. And how if he’d been smarter, he’d have brought the boy home or to the Scamander Estate where he’d have more protection. But no. He’d been dumb and reckless and now was paying the price.
So now he sat on the couch in the early hours of the morning. Joe had headed to the Scamander brownstone not long before dawn. He’d promised Lyall an update as soon as he had one. But he’d known that would be when Joe arrived home. It wasn’t that Eleanor would stop her brother from telling him what was going on. It was that she didn't know where Lyall was staying. She thought he was at their home. He didn’t want her to know the demons plaguing him there. It would make her feel like they should talk sooner than she was ready. Which he didn’t want. He wanted her to take her time. Be deliberate. He still got to see Remus. Eleanor had made good on that promise. It didn’t make not seeing her easy though.
A cup of tea floating in front of him snapped his attention up. Maddie smiled at him as she settled beside him on the couch. A cup of coffee in her own hands as the cup of tea floating closer to him insistently. He finally reached out and took a long sip. “Chamomile?”
His wife’s best friend gave him a small smile as she watched the floo. “Ellie always says it’s your favorite. I thought you could use some right now.”
Lyall took another sip before whispering, “Thank you. For everything.”
“You’re my friend too, Lyall. And yes admittedly I was angry at you, but I saw the devastation on your face that day. You’re blaming yourself for the actions of a lunatic.”
“I baited him, Maddie.”
“And you did everything right to try and protect Remus.”
“I should have left. That property is the only one linked to me anymore in the UK. I could have gotten us to the Manor or to the townhouse and-“
“Lyall.” She gripped his hand. “You didn’t do this on purpose. You love your son. More than anything in this world, you love him. And you love her. She’s still working through it all. It’s going to work out.”
“She doesn’t trust me anymore, Maddie.” He looked at the photo of himself, Eleanor, Joe, and Maddie on their wedding day. Maddie had insisted she and Joe get a picture with her Maid of Honor and his Best Man that were going to be married soon after them. They all were smiling at the camera and then it cut to the couples looking at one another. Joe and Maddie were so clearly in love. Eleanor was gazing across the couple at him though. Her love and admiration were tangible. “I doubt she loves me.”
“She trusts you and loves you.” Maddie squeezed his hand. “Ellie is just Ellie. Her brain is everywhere and she needs some time to herself to figure it out. And if it makes you smile, she hexed Peter for making a joke about you yesterday.” His lips quirked up. “The joke was shit mind you, but she also reminded him you are still very much her husband. And no matter how pissed she is, she doesn’t want to hear the jokes.”
Lyall felt his smile gracing his lips. “Merlin, I love her.”
“And she loves you.” He didn’t fight her this time. Partly because he knew it was pointless, and partly because Joe was tumbling out of the floo. There wasn’t a grave look on his face. Just a sad one. “Joey!” Maddie was up and helping her husband with his healer bag, but Joe waved her off and looked at him. Lyall stood and just stared at his friend for a solid minute before speaking.
“Is he-“
“He’s okay. But Lyall,” Joe paused and took a deep breath. “I really think you and Ellie need to talk.”
“I’m not rushing it.”
“He begged for you.” Lyall felt his knees give out. Joe was around their coffee table to catch him as the sobs came. “Hey come on now, Lupin. I’m not my sister. I’m not good at the ‘catching you when you fall’ bit.“
“I fucked it all up, mate.” Lyall wailed into Joe’s shoulder as his best friend, his wife’s brother, his brother in everything but blood held him. Joe was rubbing his back like he was a small child and Lyall found he didn’t care. “I let that monster turn Remus into this.”
“Hey! Shut the fuck up.” Joe hissed and pulled back enough so they were eye to eye. “Yes Remus is now a werewolf, meaning once a month he turns into a wolf. A wolf which I saw and let me tell you if it weren’t for the fact that he’s my nephew and in pain, he looks pretty freaking cute. But he is my nephew and I know the pain he’s going to be in. But guess what, he’s still Remus. He still likes to sit in your lap and make you read him your book even if it’s way more than a four year old should read, which I blame my sister for by the way. Remus still likes to chase the nifflers around in the basement and is very much still enamored with his grandfather and his work. Ly, he’s still Remus. There’s just a new part we have to teach him to love. Because he’s not not worthy of love now.”
Lyall felt ice take over his body. “Is that what everyone thinks? That I’m staying away because I don’t love him?” Joe didn’t answer. And Lyall rose up, moving toward the floo. “I wanted to give Eleanor space so she could work out what she needed to. Not because I don’t love him. Or her. I love them both more than anything and-“
“Ly. I know that.” Lyall stopped and turned to see Joe wrapping his arms around his own wife. “Remus doesn’t know or understand that. And Ellie is stubborn. Maybe you should be the one to-“
“He has to let her do this on her terms, Joe.” Maddie whispered. “You know Ellie. She needs time. Not him making her decide on things now.”
“But-“ Maddie cut Joe off with a whisper. Lyall didn’t hear what was said, but the couple seemed to understand each other. His friend nodded at his wife before looking at him. “Ellie wanted you to go over there though. Said she figured you’ve been staying with me and wants to make Remus happy right now since he’s in pain.” It was a bone. She was throwing him a bone. And Lyall was ready to take it.
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Ellie had taken the day off. Not that Rory was fighting her on it. Neither had her mother. And her father was at Ilvermorny. All her siblings were off at work. That left her to watch Remus. The day after his first full moon. It had been hard the night before. To hear him screaming in the basement. Her father had set up a space for Remus to transform and had stayed down there to make sure he didn’t roam into one of the other habitats for a bit. But she’d seen the enclosure. It had enough room that if her son wanted to explore in his wolf form he’d be able to. She was thankful her father had thought of it. He’d apologized to her about their fight the moment they’d gotten home. Explained he hadn’t even thought about what he’d asked her to do with putting Remus’s name on the Werewolf Registry. Didn’t even think about the hate her son would face. Ellie had apologized too. She hated that she’d screamed at her father. But all was forgiven now. At least between them.
Her and Lyall’s relationship was another story. One Remus was getting confused by. Her mother was taking him to see Lyall. Or Joe would. Or even Jack. But she hadn’t been able to bring herself to see him yet. Then when Joe had been healing Remus this morning he’d begged for Lyall. And she didn’t have the heart to deny him. So now she was waiting in the living room. Watching Remus sleep and scanning the floo for her husband. Finally not long after Joe had left, Lyall tumbled out.
“Starlight.” She looked up at the sound of his voice and had to fight the gasp. His eyes were bloodshot, bags hanging heavy under them. He was skinnier. It was clear he wasn’t eating. His face was gaunt. A five o’clock shadow permeated his cheeks. All in all he looked like hell. But the love in his eyes when he saw them seemed to outweigh the guilt Maddie had said had been there for the weeks he’d been staying with her and Joe. Her best friend had told her that her husband was with them and Ellie felt relieved to know he was with family. With people that loved him. Lyall squatting in front of her to cup her cheeks snapped her back to reality. “Have you been sleeping?”
“I could ask you the same thing, Wolf Boy.” She reached up to run her thumb under his eyes. “Ly, you can’t not eat and sleep.”
“I am eating and sleeping.” He whispered, but she didn’t believe him. Maybe he was eating a bit and sleeping some, but it was clear it wasn’t enough. His gaze flicked to her lips for a moment before he whispered, “May I?” Her answer was a soft peck to his lips. Her anger was starting to fade. She missed him. She just wasn’t ready for them to be back in the same house yet. Something she’d explained to Adam that week during their therapy session. And he’d understood. But had recommended she talk to Lyall about it. “I missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.” Her whisper seemed to shock him. “I’m sorry I haven’t met up with you, I just-“
“Needed time.” His thumb stroked her cheek as she nodded. “Take all the time you need, Starlight.” He ducked down to kiss her slightly swollen belly then. Ellie fought a smile as he whispered, “Hello, little love. This is your Daddy. I’m very excited to meet you.”
A little voice behind her pulled them back to their current reality though. “Daddy?” They both turned at Remus’s strained voice. Ellie immediately moved so Lyall could take her place on the couch. She was squatting near her son’s head as Lyall reached up to brush his curls out of their son’s eyes. “You came?”
“I heard you called.” The easy smile on her husband’s face made Ellie almost forget why she was mad. But she saw the lingering guilt in his eyes. He was blaming himself for what happened. More than anyone else could ever blame him. And Ellie hated it.
**********************************************************
It was the day following the second full moon a month later that Ellie’s desire to be at home with her husband in their bed really hit. And it wasn’t just from the exhaustion of staying up agonizing over her son or the morning sickness that had finally subsided which he hadn’t been there to hold her hair during. No, it was Remus whispering, “Mama, when are you and Daddy going to make up?”
That question had been a gut punch as she held him in the old rocking chair in her childhood bedroom the night following the full moon. Ellie rubbed a hand up and down his arm, gathering her thoughts before finally whispering, “We did make up, Crup.”
“Then why isn’t Daddy here?” The tears were flowing down her face when Remus looked at her and Ellie felt her breath hitch when her four year old reached up to wipe them. “Don’t cry, Mama.”
“I’m sorry, honey.” She said with a little choked laugh. “Mama is just missing Daddy right now.”
“Because of the baby?”
Ellie let out a genuine laugh then. Ever since she’d told him about the baby everytime she said she didn’t feel well or something happened, Remus would ask ‘Because of the baby?’ She couldn’t decide if it was adorable or concerning that he was blaming his little brother or sister. Ellie smoothed his hair. “Not because of the baby, honey. Because I just miss your daddy.”
“Mama, why didn’t he come see me today? Wasn’t he worried?”
That was the million dollar question. Why hadn’t Lyall shown up this morning? She’d sent him a note that he could wait out the moon with her. It was a step in the right direction. They’d even been the ones to facilitate him seeing Remus this last month. Been in the same room for hours. Her anger was dissipating. She wanted to talk to him about them all going home. About maybe them having some talks with Adam together so they could work through this whole thing together. Get back on the same page so they were the best they could be for each other and for Remus and their baby. But he hadn’t shown up. Joe told her Lyall wasn’t staying with them anymore. Hadn’t been for about a week. Jack advised he hadn’t seen her husband nor had Ollie, Estelle, or any of their friends. So where the hell was he?
“Mama?”
Ellie glanced back at her son. Her sweet innocent son. He didn’t deserve the hand the world had dealt. “Daddy loves you, baby. He loves you so much. And he’s more than worried.” Remus gave her a look that told her he didn’t believe her at the moment. So Ellie sent a spark of love down their bond that had been in place since she was pregnant with him. He giggled at her, but she knew he was still confused. Sighing, Ellie adjusted him to carry him over to her old bed. “Rem, Daddy is having a hard time right now.”
“So are you.” Her son insisted with a pout. Ellie just smiled as she kneeled beside him, pushing his hair back and staring into those murky hazel-green eyes that he’d gotten from his grandfather. “I miss Daddy, Mama.”
“I know, baby.” She whispered, kissing his forehead. “I miss him too. And he misses us. He just,” she sighed as she paused, not sure how to continue. “Remy, Daddy is blaming himself and he-“
“But it was the bad man that hurt me. Daddy saved me!”
Ellie fought the tears threatening to spill over as she cupped her son’s cheek. The new scar he’d earned during the moon just under his jaw was easy to feel and made her want to shutter. “When you’re older we’ll explain why Daddy and I feel the way we do.”
“Do you blame Daddy, Mama?”
Another wonderful question. But as Ellie stared at her son for a long moment, she knew her answer. It wasn’t hard to know. She’d loved Lyall since she was sixteen. They’d been through hell and back so many times and now wasn’t any different. The only difference was they were going at it alone. So with a smile, Ellie kissed Remus’s forehead again and whispered, “No, I don’t blame Daddy, Crup.”
**********************************************************
Lyall hadn’t handled the second moon very well. Sure he’d seen them, he hugged them, hell Eleanor had even let him kiss her the last time they’d all been together, but he missed his family. Yet he didn’t feel like that was okay. He was the one to fracture it after all. So he’d left Joe and Maddie’s a week before. Forcing them to be burdened with his presence was too much. Eleanor is Joe’s sister and Maddie’s best friend. Him being there was inappropriate.
They’d both tried to stop him, but Lyall had just given them the address to the hotel he’d found. He still couldn’t return home. He was aware Eleanor and Remus were still staying at her parents’ home, but he couldn’t return to their home, that star-covered paradise they both loved without her. Instead he sat in a hotel in Manhattan wishing he was closer to her.
Since the April full moon the day before, Lyall had been on edge. Eleanor had sent him a patronus that he could wait with her. There had been hope in the wispy wolf’s voice. But he couldn’t go. He’d hurt her, hurt Remus. This was his fault. And all he could think as the moon rose that night was that it should be him. Greyback should have bitten him. And that’s when he’d started drinking. If he was going to wallow he should at least be drunk.
Lyall didn’t remember much. He remembered enough that Joe had sent a patronus to let him know Remus was alright. That his son had asked for him again. That Eleanor had as well. Then Lyall had promptly passed out, alcohol and misery finally taking their toll. He’d still be passed out if it weren’t for the insistent knocking at his door.
Rising from his bed, Lyall made his way groggily to the door. He was infinitely grateful he’d gotten up a little earlier in the day to take a hangover potion. But some of the side effects of his escapade from the night before were still there. When he got to the door, he grunted, “Who’s there?” He really didn’t expect the response he got.
“Your wife.” Eleanor’s voice was wobbly. A clear sign she either was crying or about to cry. Lyall wrenched the door open in an instant and stared at her. Her face was broken, but her eyes. Newt always said Eleanor had her mother’s eyes, which had long been compared to the fire that hovered in a salamander’s. But Lyall always likened the determination and drive they held to the moon and stars. Because his Starlight belonged among them and she was constantly reaching for them. For a long moment he just stared into those beautiful brown eyes before he sank to his knees in front of her. “Lyall.” Her whisper made the tears fall and he looked away. “Wolf Boy, let me in.”
“I don’t deserve you.” He hiccuped, unable to move. His gaze held on her legs, tears streaming down his face when she tilted his chin up.
Eleanor was smiling a little at him as she whispered “But you’re who I want.” She stroked his cheek as she squatted down the best she could. Her pregnant belly prevented her from coming all the way down. “Honey, let me in. Please.”
Dragging himself up, Lyall stepped to the side, letting her into his room. Her nose scrunched at the scent of stale alcohol and Lyall flinched a bit. He followed her in and watched her stop to stare at the small desk near the window of the room. “Eleanor?”
“You were tracking the moon.” Then she nodded to the books next to his charts. “And studying.”
“Of course.” He whispered. “I wanted to make sure I would have the best possible ways to help him in the future.”
She didn’t turn around, but he saw her arms snake around to hug herself. “He asked for you today. He wanted to know why you weren’t there.”
Lyall sank onto his bed and stared at the floor. “What did you tell him?”
“That you’re blaming yourself.” Which he was. How could he not blame himself? He’d made the comments. Greyback had tracked him and- “Don’t go down that path, Ly.”
“It’s my fault, Elle.” The tears were falling again. He stood hastily, turning to face away from her. They’d seen each other at their worst, but that didn’t mean he wanted her to see him like this. “You said it yourself, I made the comments and-“
“Lyall.” Her whisper combined with the gentle hand she placed on his shoulder made him turn. Tears were all over her face as well. He reached out to wipe them away, encouraging her to step closer. “Honey.” She whispered and he finally closed the distance to pull her to him. As they stood there in a warm embrace, Eleanor began to speak softly. “I don’t blame you. Pete and Parker looked at the wards around the cottage for Matthias. They verified you did everything right. Moody has taken the case. He’s trying to hunt this bastard down or at least find us some closer on what happened and how he got through. I don’t blame you, Wolf Boy.”
His grip tightened. “Why? You should blame me. I made the comments and-“
“Honey,” she pulled back and pressed their brows together. Lyall stared into her determined eyes with so much love that the self loathing was almost gone. “Babe, you didn’t walk down the hall and hurt our son. You didn’t leave his window open and ask Greyback to come ruin his life. No. You placed wards upon wards around the house trying to protect him. You took him to Mungos immediately to get help and called for my brother. Because you know Remus doesn’t like strange healers. Yes you made an error in judgment, but you love our son so much. And I was blinded by anger. But I thought we made headway this last month regarding all this?”
Her thumb stroking his cheek made him relax. But something about the confusion in her voice made him close his eyes and whisper, “It should have been me.”
Eleanor tightened her hold, hugging him closer as she hissed, “Don’t go down this path. I said the same thing about myself and my mother had to drag me to see Adam because she was so worried. Greyback would never target us. We are too old for his preferred targets. And honey, he wanted to hurt you. This hurts you more than him attacking you.”
Lyall looked at her and saw the truth in her eyes. Felt her calming presence at the end of their bond that had been dormant the last two months. It made him finally whisper what had been running through the back of his mind since she’d told him she was pregnant. “I keep asking myself what if you had been there. Would he have even come? Would he have just gone for Remus or would he have snuck into our bedroom and gone after you as well? And then, then I get stuck on this.” He gently placed a hand on her bump. The bump that symbolizes their growing child. “What if he’d taken you, forced you to give birth, and then-“
“Killed me to raise our child as his own? Or worse killed us both?” He nodded and Eleanor just allowed her mind to nuzzle at his shields. His brain acted unconsciously, letting her in. She was replacing all his terrifying scenarios with the sweet ones of her own mind. Instead of Remus howling in pain, he saw their son chasing a little girl with his hair and her eyes. Rather than seeing a bloodied Eleanor lying beside him in bed, she put the image of their children cuddling up to her as he arrived home late from MACUSA. For every terrible scene he’d played out in his mind over the last two months, she had a happy one. A loving one. A family one. And he felt relief and calm flooding through him. “Remus and I want you to come home.”
He pulled back a little to stare at her. “Remus and you?”
“My love, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t miss you.” Lyall had to fight a laugh at her matter of fact tone. He knew she wouldn’t be here if she didn’t want to be. But to hear she wanted him back was different than hoping for it. “Lyall, I love you. So much. More than almost anything in this world actually. The only things I love more are Remus and this little pain in my ass.” She nodded down to her stomach and he fought a laugh. Eleanor was smiling at him when she saw his amusement. And that smile was the most beautiful thing in the world. “But honey, I have stipulations for you coming home.”
“Of course.”
“We are seeing a mind healer. Together. Because we have to work through this and I’m not going to go home and pretend this conversation makes everything better.” He nodded in agreement to her stipulation. “And I want you to talk to someone separately.” That’s when Lyall froze. Eleanor cupped his face and made him look at her. He could see the deep concern in her eyes as she whispered, “Honey, you haven’t been okay for a long time. And I know what that looks like from my own experience and because of my mom and dad. I remember when she finally made him get help. And you aren’t at his level yet, but I can smell the alcohol in here and I don’t want you using it as a crutch, okay? My uncle has a history with alcoholism and if you go down that path I’ll let Uncle Tree kick your ass.”
“Of course, darling.” He whispered. His thumb was drawing circles on her hip. “I gave in last night. I just felt helpless and-“
“That’s why I wanted you with me, Ly.” Eleanor’s voice was a little raw. “So we could be helpless together.” Lyall reached up to wipe the tears away as they fell down her cheeks. Carefully, slowly, wanting to give her the time to step away, he tilted his head forward to capture her lips. Eleanor wrapped her arms around his neck, urging him closer. One of his hands moved back to hold her head as he stumbled to press her against a wall. She let out a little sound of surprise, but just continued to kiss him for a long moment. When they pulled apart, Lyall looked at her with a clarity he felt he’d been lacking for weeks.
“I failed you. All three of you. It won’t happen again.”
“Just promise me you’re going to love him the same.” She sounded worried. And Lyall wasn’t sure he blamed her. “He deserves the world. And he worships the ground you walk on, Lyall. I don’t want him to hate himself because you can’t-“
“Starlight, Remus is the most important person in my life.” He searched her eyes, wanting to make her understand. “I will love him, because he’s still him. Now there’s just a new part to love.”
She smiled at him brightly, kissing him again. When they pulled apart this time, she was playing with his hair, making Lyall grin. “Wolf Boy?” The nickname was getting easier to hear now.
“Yes, Starlight?”
“Can we get out of here?”
**********************************************************
When they touched down in the alley across from her parents’ house, Ellie felt giddy. Like they were 16 sneaking around after curfew at Ilvermorny again. In reality they were 35 or damn close to it. She stuttered her step for a moment as the realization of what was coming up in a few weeks. “Love?”
“I turn 35 next month.” Ellie whispered.
“You do.”
“You turned 35 in February.”
“I did.”
“We are old.”
“We are.” That snapped her out of it. She lightly hit her husband’s chest as they made it to the brownstone’s front door. “Oi, don’t be upset with me. You said it, not me.”
“You agreed, Mr. Lupin.”
“Because I know what disagreeing with you when you’re pregnant gets me, Mrs. Lupin.” He murmured into her neck as she eased open the door. Ellie fought the laugh and settled for an amused eyebrow raise as she looked at him.
“And what does it get you, Wolf Boy?”
“A night on our sof-“ Lyall didn’t get to finish his thought, because a little four year old boy who was supposed to be asleep was hugging his legs.
“Daddy!” Remus cried as he wrapped his arms around Lyall. Her husband grinned and lifted him up. Normally he’d toss Remus in the air, but he seemed to know that would be a terrible idea. Their son was laughing though. And that brought a smile to her face.
Lyall was giving their son a quick glance over before grinning madly at him. “And what are you doing out of bed, Crup?”
“He had a bad dream. I brought him down to Mom.” Ellie looked over and saw her little sister leaning against the hallway wall. She approached Estelle with a relieved look. Before she could speak, the youngest Scamander sibling shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. I’m living here for now and the least I could do was make sure he’s okay while you went to fix that situation.” Her sister pointed between her and Lyall. The tension was still there, even if it had lessened considerably. “You did fix it right?”
“Working on it, Stell.” She squeezed her sister’s hands. “And thank you. I know you love him, but helping your recently turned werewolf nephew is a lot and-“
“Are you kidding me? On top of the fact that I love him, I’m trying to outdo Ollie for coolest Aunt or Uncle. And we all know Ollie wouldn’t have known how to handle Remy’s nightmare.” Ellie just cocked an eyebrow at her. “Okay so he would have done what I did and take him down to Mom, but he wouldn’t have made fun voices like I did. Right Remy?”
“Right, Aunt Stell!” Ellie glanced at her son who was grinning at them from his spot in Lyall’s arms. He cocked his head when he met Ellie’s gaze and she fought a laugh. “Mama, does this mean we are going home?”
She didn’t even get to answer because her mother came in from the kitchen at that moment. “Does my precious Remy not want to spend anymore time with his Nan?” Ellie glanced behind her to see her mom standing there with a mock hurt look on her face. A look that had once been saved for her father or herself and her siblings. Now that look belonged to her grandsons. Remus and Joe and Maddie’s son Alex often received the ‘Sad Nan’ look and immediately ran to her mother. Which Remus did now, much to everyone’s amusement.
“No! Nan! I do want to spend time with you! But well,” Ellie smiled a little at the English accent her son occasionally slipped into coming back for the first time since the bite. Lyall was at her back, wrapping his arms around her as their little boy loudly whispered to her mother, “Nan, I really miss my bed and my stars. Mama’s stars are nice, but-“
“They aren’t the same.” Her mother finished for him and Remus nodded. Squatting down, Ellie’s mother framed Remus’s face. “Your mama used to say the same thing when Grandad put stars up in our room.”
“Really?”
“Oh yeah, I did. Because Grandad liked to cast a spell and not put his blood, sweat, and tears into it.” Ellie called and heard a scoff from the kitchen. She was a little surprised to see her father walk out. He leaned down and plucked Remus up off the ground to the four year old’s joy. Ever since Remus had made his appearance in the world, her father had a special connection to him. It was eerily similar to her own relationship with his father. And it honestly made her happy to see.
Her father was marching towards the stairs with Remus still in his arms muttering, “I didn’t have time to paint any in my own room because a certain little niffler kept insisting she needed more stars. And now look at it. It’s a galaxy. Right, Rem?” Her son just nodded in agreement with his grandfather.
Ellie rolled her eyes and leaned against Lyall, calling after them, “We’ll be leaving in the morning, Crup.”
Her father stopped on the stairs and turned. He looked at her then at Remus before trotting back downstairs and making a beeline for the basement. Her mother arched an amused eyebrow as her father passed. “And where are you going, Mr. Scamander?”
“Rem and I had planned to camp out in the basement last weekend, obviously we didn’t so, if our daughter will be taking my grandson away in the morning-“
“He can literally visit next weekend.” Ellie groaned, but her father ignored her.
“If she’s taking my grandson in the morning, then we are camping out with the mooncalves.” And with that her father and Remus were gone. Ellie rolled her eyes while Lyall laughed behind her. The elbow she placed in his ribs made him be quiet and brought a smirk to her face.
Estelle groaned though as she headed upstairs. “It’s like he forgets he has to teach tomorrow.”
“I’ll make sure he’s up in the morning.” Her mother came to frame Ellie’s face. She leaned into it with a small smile. “If you two want to go home, I’ll drop Remus off in the morning and-“
“Can we just stay upstairs, Mom?” Ellie whispered. Her mother smiled as she nodded.
There was a soft kiss placed on her forehead before her mom turned to Lyall, cupping his cheek. “It’s good to have you back.”
“It’s good to be back.”
“Don’t hurt my daughter or grandson ever again.”
The gulp Lyall had was both audible and felt by Ellie as it shook his whole body. “If I do, put me in Azkaban. Please.” That’s when her mother nodded in approval, leaning up to kiss Lyall’s cheek before following her youngest child up the stairs. As her mother went out of sight, Ellie turned in Lyall’s arms. “Have you been staying in-“
“3rd floor guest room. Remus has been in my room.” He nodded and led the way towards the stairs. As they began to climb, Ellie felt it on her body that was already suffering swollen feet. “How the hell did Mom do this so many times?”
“Climb these stairs or be pregnant?”
“Combination of the two.” Ellie glared at the next set of stairs once they reached the second floor landing. Lyall was chuckling in her ear, but gently prodded her forward. “‘Let’s have another one, Elle.’ ‘It’ll be great for Remus, Starlight.’ You're not the one carrying the baby, Wolf Boy.”
His laugh made her want to shove him down the stairs as they reached the third floor. Lyall’s case floated past them to the guest bedroom she’d taken up residence in for the last month and a half. Groaning, Ellie walked into the room, kicking her shoes off as she went. Before she had the chance to rummage for her pajamas, Lyall laid a nightgown out for her from her small selection in the wardrobe. Ellie leaned forward to peck his lips in a thank you, then changing quickly. They both were soon laying in bed, trying to adjust to having someone beside them again. “This shouldn’t feel this awkward.” Lyall murmured as Ellie knew he stared at the ceiling.
Sighing, she rolled from her other side to face him. “Look at me.” Lyall did. His eyes were clearer than they had been earlier in the night. The clarity calmed her. There had been a few moments she was worried she wouldn’t see that clarity ever again. “We’ll be fine. It’s going to take time, but we will be fine. Okay?”
“Starlight, I don’t know how to sleep in a bed next to you. I don’t want to fall asleep thinking you’re there only to wake up and discover this was a dream or worse and-“
She ignored him then. Taking his hand, Ellie turned back to lay on her other side. Lyall followed and immediately wrapped himself around her, spooning her, guarding her. “It’s real. I’m here. You’re here. Devil incarnate,” Lyall laughed at her description of their unborn child as he lowered a hand protectively over her bump. “Is here. Remus is with my father downstairs. We are safe. We are going to be okay.”
“Mmmmm.” He kissed her neck before settling beside her. One of his hands began playing with hers as he whispered, “You didn’t tell me how you knew where I was staying.”
“After I put Remus to bed, I came downstairs to find Joe sitting in the kitchen with Mom. She scurried out and he and I had a heart to heart. He finally told me where you were.”
“Ahh. I see. Scamander siblings sticking together as always.” She rolled her eyes at him and pinched his thigh. Lyall barked a laugh before tilting her head up to kiss her lips. “I’m sorry I didn’t fight to come home sooner.”
“I’m sorry I needed more space than I thought.”
He shook his head and stroked her cheek as he turned her head to meet her gaze. “Never be sorry for doing what you thought was right.” She just nodded and kissed him again. When they pulled apart, she turned, settling back against him. “We’ll need to look at a new house sooner now.”
“I kept my eye on some things in Long Island.”
“Really? You’d move out of the city.”
Ellie shrugged under his arms. “We need space. Remus will need somewhere to roam because locking him in a basement isn’t going to work unless it’s like Dad’s. And honestly I’m a little tired of city life.”
“I never thought I’d live to see the day.” He whispered quietly. “Is this also because we can see the stars better on Long Island?” She didn’t answer, but he knew her well enough to know. Lyall let out a sigh, kissing her head again as he settled for bed. “I’ll start copying the designs from our townhouse so we can still have stars in our bedroom and Remus’s room.”
“And the nursery.”
“Of course, love.” He kissed her head again. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Those were the last whispered words they had for one another as sleep came upon them. Ellie smiled as she fell asleep easier than she had for the first time since Remus had been turned. With Lyall’s arms around her and her family at their side, everything felt right. Felt whole. And for the first time since that fateful night all the anger and worry melted away from her body. She loved her son. So did her husband. And at the moment that’s all that mattered.