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“Hey Ryosuke?”
Takumi’s voice floated in from the entrance. At the far end of the apartment he didn’t move.
The sound of keys jingling and clothing shuffling came from the foyer, Ryosuke listened and waited. It felt wrong to raise his voice and reply. He could hear two thuds before the soft footsteps over the creaky hardwood floor started. Ryosuke laid out on Takumi's bed still in the jacket he used to leave the house earlier in, a simple run out for flowers at the closest florist had made him get dressed. He was sure Takumi would notice the white and pink lilies in a glass vase now sitting on the small round dining table, pruned and proud. Since putting the flowers in their vase and floating back to the bedroom he had been frozen to this spot, he wasn’t sure how long it had been.
From the moment he looked at the calendar this morning a pit had opened up in his brain. He didn't like moping around like this, normally if he would prefer to be busy on this day but since Takumi was working and he was left to do remote work, optional work as well, he found himself unmotivated. He slipped his eyes closed. The room had gotten darker and the moody red of the setting sun persisted behind his eyelids. Ryosuke listened intently, he struggled to hear Takumi over the hum of the fridge in the kitchen, a quirk of Fujiwara he had had the privilege to learn about. The soft slippers padded around the small apartment that consisted of 3 main rooms: a landing, hallway, bathroom, kitchen, small open space as the living room, hallway and bedroom. He tracked the footsteps in his mind, visualizing Takumi’s diamond patterned beige slippers moving to the bathroom then the kitchen, padding around the kitchen, stopping, and then coming closer. The door to the bedroom lay open and Ryosuke knew Takumi was looking at him through the doorway.
“Ryosuke?” Takumi whispered, testing.
He sucked in a breath before exhaling, sighing as Ryosuke shifted and opened his eyes. Takumi looked amazing, still fresh as he had this morning when he had wished the other off to the track. His hair was getting longer, it was currently slightly out of place and falling in his eyes. It made him look homely, domestic. The sight pulled at his heart; he had been thinking a lot today, about Takumi and about the past.
His eyes already felt raw, yet seeing the other man he gave his whole heart and body to look so normal, it made his throat tighten up. He was happy he got to spend any time at all with Takumi.
The other man stepped closer into the room, a long shadow casted against the milky wallpaper of Takumi’s small loaned flat provided to him by the company he had signed with.
Ryosuke remembered last year when Takumi had shown him this new flat, relieved to move out of his tiny London room. Ryosuke had been relieved because Takumi had refused to show him the place until the day he moved out. He still got upset remembering how Takumi had to have spent a whole year in a tiny dorm that didn't even have a closet, a failing on his part mainly for not realizing. He learnt a valuable lesson that day on the extent of Takumi’s avoidance of asking for help from others. Especially financial help. They had a very intense talk that was worked out in the end. Takumi’s new apartment was much better. It had originally come with a single bed and Ryosuke had almost out right begged Takumi to get something bigger. It had been a heated debut but Ryosuke had won with the promise to break the bed in enough so Takumi wouldn't feel alone when he was in Japan. So together with his credit card they got a queen size mattress and carried it up 4 flights of stairs to the new flat themselves.
Ryosuke smiled sadly at the memory, such a stubborn boy his lover was, a part of him wished he could pluck that self dough worm out of the other's brain. It would levitate some of his worries but he couldn’t do that nor would he truly want to. Though it saddened his heart that Takumi thought he wasn’t worth it, Ryosuke always took care to challenge Takumi on his self doubt and remind him he was always worth the hassle.
“Ryosuke, are you okay?” Takumi’s voice still a whisper, side in concern, he walked closer now. He must have made a face. Takumi made no noise in those slippers.
“I’m fine, Takumi.” He replied, his voice catching. It wasn't convincing at all and Takumi hesitantly sat down on the edge of the bed. The bed he bought and they shared, in this apartment they shared. For a year now they had been trying too, despite all the work and traveling, this one apartment they could come together in. It was quickly becoming what Ryosuke yearned for when he thought about what home is.
With Takumi in arms reach now his heart thumped painfully, the need was too much and Takumi must have had a similar thought because he proceeded to cage him against the bed. Sinking into his chest and wrapping his arms around his sides. The weight of Takumi on him, around him was too good. It felt perfect and in that moment he would have maimed anyone that dared disturbed them. Stray strands of brown hair tickled his cheek as he brought his own hands up holding on to Takumi. The other was heavy yet his weight didn’t hurt, Ryosuke was more than content like this. Takumi sighed in his ear, relaxing limbs and this close he could feel the other's heart pumping against his chest. Full and whole Takumi breathed and laid chest to chest with him, alive, and most importantly healthy.
“How was your day?” He asked, voice low.
“It was good, I asked for some time off.” Takumi replied slowly, voice hitting the sweet low tone that mostly only came out when the other was half asleep. Ryosuke paused in his petting.
That was surprising, he knew the other was busy with training with the new team car, Takumi had been enthusiastically updating him each day when they sat down to eat. Why time off now? This was the first time he’d heard about the other planning to take time off. The new information distracted his churning emotions, with his silence Takumi explained more.
“I know you have to head back home next week, I want to go with you.” Takumi added, still sleepy sounding.
Home? This grew his confusion. Ryosuke shifted slightly, holding Takumi closer and laying them both on their sides but didn't pull away from their embrace. Heading back with Takumi sounded too good to pass up, yet his old team leader sprite hated the idea of dragging Takumi away from his training.
“What are you saying, this is home.” It haft mumbled into the other’s neck. He could feel the other’s skin prickle with goosebumps. Takumi continued to make small circles on his back.
“You flatter me too much.” The other side, a smile in his voice. A common Takumi saying, and he had a common Ryosuke reply.
“No, not enough.” His voice came out rougher than normal.
Takumi's hand wandered up latching into his messy hair. His eyes slipped closed at the feeling of those slender fingers slowly running through his hair.
“I'm sorry I couldn’t be with you today.” Takumi's side, a sudden regretful tone seeped in. Ryosuke moved back enough to see the others' faces. Takumi looked stricken.
“Hey, what do you mean?” He was concerned now. “I didn’t realize the date today until later. It’s the day she passed away isn’t it?”
“Takumi-“
“I should have stayed with you, it was inconsiderate of me.”
Ryosuke's chest hurt more than beforehand.
He brought a hand close, tentatively moving brown hair behind an ear, eyelids fluttered slipping closed for a few seconds.
“You are here now. That's more than enough Takumi” Clear gray met his eyes and the others brow’s were still twinged in concern. His heart felt so full it might burst.
This close he couldn’t resist bringing a thumb up to the others eyebrows, he felt the skin twitch underneath his touch and the hands at his sides pressed harder into his ribs. Takumi did not move an inch, eyes slipping close again. Exhaustion from his own emotions today weighed him down and his eyes. He kept a gentle thumb running over fine brown hairs slowly, careful to not damage any of them. A beat passed. Takumi shifted slightly but didn’t move his head away.
“What are you doing?” He sounded curious. It was odd for him to handle Takumi like this, his heart was fit to overheat though.
“I like your eyebrows.” He muttered, he started pushing the hair down now. Ryosuke could feel Takumi blink.
“You do?” It was a genuine wonder. Something he had never mentioned but now Ryosuke was gonna make sure not to forget.
“Yes, they are Takumi Fujiwara eyebrows, and they look at me in a curtain way.”
“What does that mean?” The same eyebrow crouched down against his thumb, Takumi huffed, sounding amused. This close he could smell coffee. Coffee would be nice now.
Opening his eyes once more he was greeted with gray eyes and a soft smile peering up at him.
“Careful you might rub them off.” Takumi pouted, blinking up at him. Ryosuke watched those long brown lashes flutter.
A disaster that would be.
“It seems I have lost my control, my apologies.” Ryosuke closed the last few inches between them, pressing his lip just above Takumi’s brow, and then his cheek bone, and then finally lower.
Takumi pressed back tilting his head sweetly but didn’t venture in, he was more than happy to lay together like this all evening.
Hands and body pressed against each other. Air mixing and warmth shared, a hand was in his hair again, gentle soft touches that could put him to sleep. It was what he needed. Takumi always made things better.
Heat stirred in his gut and with an exhale through his nose he poked against the other lips, asking politely. They normally don’t act so achingly sweet but it seemed Takumi was indulging his weary soul.
Breath rushed out of the other's nose before sighing and letting him. They met in the middle and Ryosuke felt his eyes wet again. Slowly they moved, Takumi tasted like coffee and Ryosuke craved it horribly now. The cheeky ran his tongue along the others teeth and Takumi bulked, a small noise that suspiciously sounded like a giggle choked out the other’s throat.
He blinked and achingly broke apart to take a breath, the coffee taste lingered. Takumi after sucking in air came back in to kiss his face where the few trace tears lay. The hands on his back squeezing. Ryosuke wanted to wrap his body around the other but when Takumi pulled away to look at his face it captured him. Those gray eyes that looked at him like a hurricane about to break the shore at day break, they pierced him so sweetly.
“When we go back home I want to visit her with you. If you’ll let me?” His love side, just over a whisper. Ryosuke felt so full,
Ryosuke’s heart ached, it hurt in a way that was good, he would do almost anything the other asked him. Once again he shuffled forward pressing their fronts together and probably squishing Takumi just a bit too hard in his arms. In turn the other moved to wrap his arms around his back.
“She’d like that, I'm sure.” His voice cracked and crumbled, it was embarrassing and fragile.
They both breathed together for a moment.
“I would like to bring her something she likes. Maybe food? something we could all share together.” Takumi's side, and it seemed the other had truly put thought behind his worry. With the mention of food a memory suddenly came back to him.
“Kaori used to love those large udon noodles. The ones they have at the local market. She would eat them with only yuzu sauce sometimes. I could never tell if she was messing with me or actually liked eating them that way.” Kaori’s smiling face behind a bowl of noodles flashed in his mind. Gunmas classic plain noodles he hadn't had any strong opinions on before yet somehow she had made them look so good.
“That is an interesting choice, flat udon sounds like a great idea. I hope it will be a good offering.” Ryosuke thought about Kaori and Takumi side by side. Both very different yet strangely each had this mystic that pulled him in, and it was a strong pull.
Suddenly, Ryosuke realized Takumi was the age that Kaori was when she left him. He closed his eyes tightly, his heart aching once again. If he were to lose Takumi now the world would be truly evil. He brought his hand up again, running them through brown hair. Such depressing thoughts were too much for today. Ryosuke thought about Kaori being happy and free.
If in some alternate universe where Kario lived and he continued to see her, if he had still met Takumi down the line, he would have suffered in such a predicament. It was strange to think about.
Too many what ifs wasn’t good for his brain to dwell on so he sprung forward to claim the others lips again. The room around them was dark now, the sun finally leaving the pair to themselves. Takumi still tasted like coffee, Ryosuke took pleasure in the lazy sigh that left the others lips. They broke apart painting, he still needed to reply.
“Takumi. You, yourself would be more than an amazing offering. I am sure she would love to meet you.”