Work Text:
Addison loved touch. Whether it was a casual brush against each other while drying the dishes or hours spent entangled together in bed, Addison loved it. Affectionate touch was something she couldn't live without. Words were inadequate, they could never express enough. Just the word hug could mean a squeeze from a grateful patient that she tolerated to not seem rude, or an actual expression of love. The potential for misunderstandings was astronomical.
Addison didn't know whether her affinity for touch had something to do with a childhood devoid of it. The phrase "he wasn't hugged enough as a child" was often used in media to describe someone who lacks empathy or other humane qualities. For her though, that wasn't an issue. She just wanted to feel the love.
She loved to be surrounded by love. She loved it when she could just let the other person hold her. She didn't need to be anything or do anything, she could just receive the affection and let the other person take care of her. The smell and warmth of someone she loved being so close was heaven.
With Meredith, the progression of touch had been slow. The sexual side had started immediately. It was the touching just for the sake of touching that took a little to develop. Meredith wasn't used to cuddling, and Addison couldn't express her needs well enough. But gradually, the reasons they had been holding back fell away.
Addison remembered a morning early on in their relationship, where she'd woken up to Meredith petting and running her fingers over Addison's hair. The sensation mixed with the soft smile she'd seen on Meredith's face as she opened her eyes was something she would have gladly had any time. She felt like she was something precious.
The sex with Meredith was truly the best she'd ever had. Meredith was an attentive partner, and being the sole focus of her attention was invigorating. Addison loved the times when they had all the time in the world and could just spend the day in bed together. It wasn't about reaching a goal, it was about giving and receiving pleasure. It was about getting lost in the feeling. Sometimes the sex was rough, sometimes soft and gentle. Regardless, afterwards Addison always felt loved.
As most tall women do, Addison had spent a lot of time in her youth wondering if she'd find a man tall enough to be with. She had never really considered what it would feel like to date someone shorter than her. She found that she liked how she could wrap around Meredith and surround her. She could protect her.
They had cried in each other's arms more times than she could remember. Sometimes when Meredith felt panicky she'd ask Addison to lie on top of her. The pressure helped. When Addison lost a patient she would press her head on Meredith's chest directly over her heart and listen. The heartbeat reassured her of the future and the rising and falling of Meredith's chest calmed her own breathing. Meredith would run her fingers through Addison's hair and all would be well.
When they went to sleep, they cuddled. Addison loved being able to bury her face in Meredith's hair. It always smelled nice and like home. If they would sleep facing each other, Meredith would eventually press her face tightly in the crook of Addison's neck. Addison sometimes wondered how Meredith could even breathe like that.
Meredith liked to run her lips across Addison's skin. It wasn't really kissing, more like Meredith was just trying to commit to memory how her skin felt. They joked about it sometimes, how she was like a cat rubbing her face on Addison's body. Meredith would counter than lips have so many nerve endings, it was just practical to use them to feel things.
Addison loved that she was able to love Meredith. She was allowed to touch her, to hold her, to caress her. She was the one braiding Meredith's hair into complex styles so it would stay put during surgeries, and she was the one holding her when they shared a bath after a long workday. She was the one who's love and affection Meredith welcomed even when she couldn't be around people.
The thought that someone wanted the love she had to give was everything she could have ever wanted. The thought that it all would be reciprocated was beyond her wildest dreams.