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When San was jealous and possessive, he simmered like a kettle waiting to scream when it boiled. He was a rubber band that would snap.
And he knew that Wooyoung likes playing with fire. Knew because Wooyoung wasn’t one to be patient, he pushed and pushed and pushed just for a reaction of any kind. He could feel San’s stare when he played around and got giddy imagining San clenching his jaw and fists. He basked in victory when San was short with him, getting just what he wanted.
When Wooyoung was jealous and possessive, he was impatient, immediate, he pushed, whined, much like a cat when it’s swatting at its owner.
And he knew San flirted with others just for that little grab at the shoulder and the side eye, knew San would be fine playing hard to get longer than Wooyoung who jumped him at any chance whining for attention. Knew that Wooyoung would pout and shrink if he didn’t give him the attention he wanted. Could see when he pushed Wooyoung around, the blush that creeped up his neck and the smile of embarrassment.
That was just what they were like. When San ignored Wooyoung, he fawned and clung to him. When he paid attention, he played hard to get and would feint annoyance just to see that sulky lil pout and eventual explosion.
They both knew that about each other but yet they both liked playing this game. It was like the Moon chasing the Sun just as the Sun chases the Moon. There would be cloudy rainy days, bright clear days, and storms but the chase would be guaranteed. The calm before the storm and the storm before the calm. It was just natural for every relationship, their relationship.
Sometimes their fanservice and little caresses that became muscle memory meant so much to each other. Sometimes in fights and arguments it would feel full of hurt.
Of course they were playful, they cuddled with all the members. But somehow it was the tone of voice, the targeted gazes making sure the other could see, the unspoken push and the pull that let them know when it was for each other. They discussed over hurt and tears their dynamic, The admission more embarrassing than the actual actions.
Even if they stay apart they would come back home eventually. They would share an umbrella together through the rain as protection and sun as shade.
———
It was during WANTEEZ ep. 8 filming. It was a cute and fun time and an episode atinys would love for sure. But something bothered Wooyoung. So he bothered San, ripping bits of his jean’s hole to reveal his lower thigh. San liked those jeans but could see Woo’s intention.
Wooyoung had evaded the talk, “I was just making your jean’s holes even, it annoyed me it wasn’t symmetrical”
San raised an eyebrow, they both knew he was bullshitting and quite lamely at that.
He complained to San about showing off his tattoo, “I just wish you would show it more and I saw an opportunity…”
“Why do I need to show our tattoo for it to be valid or meaningful?”
And Wooyoung had simply responded “It’s not that it needs to be shown to be valid or meaningful, it’s just! You know…”
His voice lowered to a whisper in the quiet room, “Like couples matching and stuff… The sentiment…”
He groaned in frustration not being able to convey the sentiment, “Is it so bad to be possessive? I showed my tattoo, it feels weird you haven’t shown yours… I just guess I wanna feel wanted… by you?”
San’s face was unreadable as he stepped closer and cupped Wooyoung’s face with his fingers stroking his ear, “Babe we literally got PERMANENT matching tattoos” A soft line resembling a smile appeared
“Yeah but like… It means friends to the end and I know we can’t officially officially come out even though we already did, but I just want… I just want you to want me as much as I want you.”
“I do.” A hand played with the hairs at Wooyoung’s nape as he kissed his forehead. Wooyoung was just unsure a lot, he had confidence with dancing, friends, and even sex even, but he didn’t have confidence for romance. Entrusting someone with that piece of himself, knowing they could crush it easily if they so pleased. It was scary.
San could tell Wooyoung was still doubtful, still hesitant, as he looked at the ground. San flicked his chin, “Hey”
“What?” The annoyance empty.
“Do you think I’m a bad person?”
“What? No, of course not Sannie!”
“Would I hate someone without reason?”
“You wouldn’t even hurt a fly. We talked about this before”
“Would I say such words like “I hate you” for no reason”
“No not for no reason and if it was you always apologize… What are you getting at.”
“Then trust me when I say I want you. Trust me when I say I love you. There’s a reason I say I love you and those are my feelings. Am I such a heartless person to ignore you Woo? You’re my everything. How could I leave you alone? I’m sorry to say but you’re not getting rid of me that easily”
Wooyoung peeked up from the floor at San, seeing his eyes sad but soft for his feelings being doubted. He raised his head as he raised his eyebrows. Staring at those eyes, waiting expectantly.
Wooyoung gently pulled San by his waist, giving him leeway to push him away if he went over the boundaries. He nuzzled his face in the crook of San’s neck and breathed him in.
They both know Wooyoung isn’t good at processing emotions, he isolates or avoids the problem typically, requiring San to corner him and initiate or simply waiting for it to blow over.
“amf sorry” He spoke into his warmth, “for doubtin you”
San locked his arms around Wooyoung’s waist tightly like it was natural, and turned his head slightly to breathe near Wooyoung ears. Woo could tell he was thinking of what to say, if he should even speak
“Thank you. I just… I really love you, I can’t help but worry. You have so many choices out there, so many I think would be better.”
“There’s no one better for me. It’s you or no one. And I could say the same about you. Suitors are always running after you,” There was soft laugh near his ear, ”I feel the same worry too”
“Really?”
“Really.” They held each other for a moment,
“I’m just surprised you still chose me. And I'm scared one day you’ll change your mind. Not because you’re a bad person, but because i’m… I’m not a good partner”
“WE chose each other. All we can do is trust each other. I trust you to hold my heart. Will you trust me? Do you trust me?”
“I don’t trust myself”
Arms pulled Wooyoung closer, Wooyoung was so low in his worry he was hurting San ignoring the question, “Then at least trust me.”
There was a moment for Woo to process his thoughts, to get over his internalized feelings, get over himself so he could do better for them.
“I trust you.”
Wooyoung didn’t need to know San smiled at that, something akin to relief, releasing the tension from his shoulders, “Always wish I could do more for you.”
Wooyoung played with San’s nape humming in agreement that he felt the same towards San.
“But all I can do is kiss you silly so you don’t have time to worry”
San’s hands moved to grab Wooyoung’s head planting and pecking kisses as fast as he could. Wooyoung shriek scream laughed and doing the lil snort he does feeling ticklish and his skin tingle at the attention. They meet eyes and kiss on the lips softly. Hugging again in their previous position rocking lightly side to side.
“…sooo what’re the reasons you like me?”
“I swear to god we just had a moment please”
“C'monnnn” Woo whined back to his usual self wiggling in their embrace, “I wanna know why you wanna kiss me soooooo bad”
“you’re the one that wants to kiss me” San tightened his hold as he laughed, “and you want me to kiss you”
“Sorry I can’t help it”
“Oh so I'm irresistible?”
“I didn’t say that”
“How many more tattoos should we get so I can claim you forever”
“I’ll think about it. Don’t want it to ruin my future plans for tattoos”
“Hey! I should be the priority” Woo could hear the pout
“Self-care first”
“I can give you all the care you need”
“I know you could” Woo let go of a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, “and I wanna give you the same”
This time San nuzzled his face into Woo’s neck faintly teething.
“You did sound like a player though”
San smacked his ass.
“Now can I fuck you into the mattress because Hongjoong laid on top of you?”
“You’re just jealous of anyone that touches me, aren't you?”
“Always." A cute pout was the only response, "now get on the bed so I can fuck you stupid.”
Fits of giggles could be heard from their room.