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“It’s just a cigarette Seungcheol!”
I screamed.
“It cannot be that bad.”
I glanced over to him. With his eyes angered and arms crossed tight.
“Jihoon I love you, I know you love us. This is making me sad.”
Stupid stupid Seungcheol, with his fatherly instinct. He doesn’t get it!
“It’s only a cigarette,” I walked over and pointed at his chest, “like you always used to do,” I growled.
“I was a whole different person then, I don't need them to be cool,"
He defended. Does he really think I’m doing this because of being cool? Has he gone mad!
“Hyungs, calm down please!” I heard Chan's plea. Yet who is he to come in our conversation.
“Get out of this Chan.” I warned. I tighten my fist to look back at Cheol.
“You think this is about being cool?!”
“Hyung please.” I warned him, I warned him. It’s not me. Why isn’t he-
“Not only that, but selfish enough to put all your members in danger. Where have your senses gone Lee Jihoon?!” Seungcheol screamed at me. Me?
“Don’t act like you’ve been the best leader hyung.”
“Hyungs.”
“SHUT UP CHAN!” I hollered, while pushing Chan to the ground, him landing hard. I didn’t know, I didn’t know this would happen. No, no, it’s not my fault! I warned him, why is he intervening with us?
“JIHOON, what the hell!” Seungcheol hyung scolded.
“It’s isn’t my fault?!” I tried, trying to defend myself for an action which was clearly my fault. I saw Chan being taken to another room. Who knows where the other members are. This fight is probably gonna last, Seungcheol’s stupid if he thinks
this is fixing it.
. . .
It was late, and Jihoon hadn't opened the studio door to come home. Of course as a leader I waited here after I was done practicing. Even if we had a fight I still love him with my heart.
I decided to finally barge in on him. It’s too late to stay up like this and we have even more work tomorrow.
What a disgusting sight I saw when I got in there though. A horrible, almost saddening sight. Had I fought with him a few days ago just so it could go through one ear and out the other?!
“It’s just a cigarette that’ll harm your lungs, Jihoon.”
I begged. I found him again in his own damn studio smoking a cigarette. What has gotten into him, a simple opened window isn’t going to fix anything.
“Well I’ve been doing it only twice a week. So there's not much of a chance.”
Jihoon reasoned. I could tell he was tired, he’s been in this room for hours. Yet this has to stop soon, it can’t become an addiction, oh please don’t let this become an addiction. I walked over to him laying on the window. Taking the cigarette with barely any force.
“It’s only one cigarette, it’ll soon be only ten.”
I held up the cigarette, shaking it in front of his eyes. I rubbed the burnt edge with my winter gloves. Throwing it into the trash.
“Trust me hyung, if I want to stop I can!”
He glared with deadly eyes. Fist tight as he faced me. He turned away in a flash, it was obvious he didn't want to speak anymore.
Am I not helping?
. . .
It's the start of a break for seventeen. A hard earned break all the members have been wanting. Yet the front door opened to a worn out leader, who had fought for a deserved break for his
members and him. As members greeted and thanked him, he muttered of course to them.
Seungcheol plopped onto the couch with tiredness.
"Seungcheol hyung Im making food, it's almost done, thank you for this break!" Mingyu called from the kitchen. Scoups smiled at the thought of the members eating together. Not being able to since of idol life.
As if life was against him, Seungcheol closed his eyes just to be awoken to a call.
"Members' food is ready!" He pulled his feet off the couch to start wobbly walking to the table. It's been awhile since he has heard the members laughing, it was like a heavenly tune.
"Guys where's Jihoon hyung?" Seungkwan pointed out. Everyone glanced around to check if Seungkwan was just blind. Yet it hadn't seemed that way.
"I'll get him." Scoups volunteered. He looked at his members as if for permission. They didn't give a response, not even an action. No one stopped him, no one did. Yet they knew they should’ve. Should’ve stopped it then.
Before long, everyone heard it. A door slam and yelling. They’ve started again.
“It’s just a cigarette, which is just a Marlboro light.”
Jihoon yelled, walking into the room.
“Sure, but is it worth it if we fight?”
Seungcheol asked with pleading eyes. He glanced at the members, a real leader.
“It’s only some cigarettes that I got from manager hyung.”
Jihoon continued, he grabbed the cigarette and threw it into Seungcheol’s face.
“Well he's gonna get a smack, and I'm gonna give you three!”
Scoups snarled. With the cigarette splatter on the floor, he grabbed Jihoons color and threatened him.
Seokmin, with shaky eyes, looked at the oldest hyung after Cheol. Jeonghan stood shocked, wondering what he was meant to do. What if one of them gets hurt again.
“It’s just a cigarette and I only did it once!”
Jihoon cried out. He tried to defend himself
“It’s just a cigarette it’ll soon be onlt ten!"
Scoups yelled, with such anger and disappointment.
“It’s only twice a week so there’s not much of a chance."
Jihoon shoved Seungcheols hands off his collar, and looked away.
“It’ll make you sick boy there’s not much of a chance."
Scoups stumbled back. Not convinced Jihoon was only doing it twice.
“It’s just a cigarette and I’m sorry that I did it!"
Jihoon sobbed out with pleading words, realization flooding in. It wasn’t meant to go like this.
“It’s just a cigarette, you’ll be sorry that you did it!"
Scoups warned, venom linked with his words. Shock flooded his brain when he saw a tear slip from Jihoon’s eye.
“Hyung! Why won’t you trust me?! If I want to stop I can’t!”
. . .
No. No. This hadn’t happened. This couldn’t happen.
But it did, they were too late. They all cowarded away and let it play out.
They all watched, yet every step they took, was in the wrong way.
Two leaders finally had a drift. And what they thought wasn’t bad yet?
Well, now it was an addiction.