Work Text:
Quynh had called Joe and Nicky for help when Andy came home with a toothache and refused to see a dentist. According to Andy, all she needed was a couple of painkillers and a couple of hours of sleep to cure the toothache.
Nicky: "Go for a long walk, Quynh. We'll catch Andy and drag her to the dentist if needed."
Joe: "And we also got duct tape if..."
A look from Nicky to Joe that said "You're not helping so shut up or else you won't get sex the rest of the year" did the trick.
Quynh: "Even though Andy is a handful at times, please be gentle. We're getting married next week and..."
Nicky placed a kiss on Quyn's head.
Nicky: "We promise you this: we'll get Andy to the dentist and that she will be in pristine condition next week."
Quynh hugged them before leaving. Then Joe and Nicky started on the job of getting Andy to agree on going to the dentist.
Andy: "What the hell are you doing? Sneaking up on people who are sleeping?"
Andy sat up and threw a pillow after Joe, who moved away in time.
Nicky: "You get a choice, Boss. Either you walk voluntarily to the dentist or Joe will carry you."
Andy: "Is not needed. I'm perfectly fine."
Nicky: "If you're fine as you say, then eat this apple without making a face."
Nicky held out an apple.
Andy: "You know very well that I don't eat apples unless it's an apple pie."
Nicky: "That sounds to me like you're making excuses so you don't have to go to the dentist. Eat the apple, Andromache."
Andy looked at Joe.
Andy: "Do you mind getting your boyfriend and yourself out of my living room so I can get some sleep?"
Joe: "Not this time. I agree with Nicky. Eat the apple and we'll go away."
Andy looked at her friends who didn't move at all.
Nicky: "Grap her, Joe."
Before Andy could get away, she was thrown over Joe's shoulder and carried out of the living room onto the streets. As they walked through the city, people stopped and looked after the man carrying a woman over his shoulder and every time Nicky told the people that they were taking Andy to the dentist.
Andy: "This is so undignified. What have I done to you since you're treating me like this? Remember it was me who introduced you two to each other."
Joe: "Which we're forever grateful for. Thanks to you I'm with a sexy hubby and having amazing sex every day."
Andy let out a groan while Nicky blushed.
Nicky: "And you really only have yourself to blame for this. If you had gone to the dentist when Quynh asked you to do it, then we wouldn't have this conversation right now."
Andy: "If I promise to go to the dentist, will you put me down, Joe?"
Joe: "And when are you planning on doing it?"
Andy: "Next month after my wedding."
Nicky: "Wrong answer, young lady."
Andy: "Hi, I'm like a decade older than you."
Nicky: "Right now I can't see it. Do you see it, Joe?"
Joe: "Not really."
Nicky: "And I'm not letting Quynh spend her honeymoon at the dentist."
Joe: "Especially when there are other fun things you can be doing on your honeymoon."
They reached the dentist and Joe put Andy down. Before Andy could run, Joe placed his hand on Andy's shoulder and guided her towards the dentist's office.
90 minutes later the dentist had done her job. The reason it took so long was, that Andy actually tried to escape from Joe when his mother called. Andy only made it down two stairs before Joe caught her again and got her to sit down in the dentist's chair before he called his mother back.
Nicky: "So sorry for my friend and all the trouble she caused."
The Dentist: "She isn't the worst I've had. Once a man didn't show up to court so the police found him here five minutes before he was having a root canal fixed."
Nicky: "What people do at times to avoid things. Is it ok if I pay for her?"
The Dentist: "No problem."
Nicky looked over at Andy who was looking at her hand.
Andy: "Why do I have a hand?"
Joe: "You use it to eat with."
Andy was still a bit high on laughing gas and was asking a lot of questions, Joe was trying his best to answer.
Nicky: "How long will she be like that?"
The Dentist: "She should be back to normal within an hour or else call me."
It was an eventful journey back to Andy and Quynh's flat. Suddenly Andy stopped walking.
Joe: "Andy, we're almost home again."
Andy pulled Joe closer to her.
Andy whispering: "I think Nicky is an alien. He speaks weird."
Joe tried not to laugh because Andy looked very serious.
Joe: "I agree with you. Come on. Let's get you home to Quynh."
Joe should never have mentioned Quynh's name because Andy started to cry.
Nicky: "What's wrong?"
Andy started to wave her hands like crazy which made Nicky get out of the way before he got hit.
Andy: "Stay away alien. I won't let you abduct me as you did with Quynh."
Nicky: "Quynh is waiting for you at home. I promise."
Andy: "Isn't that something an alien would say? Give me false hope and when I go with you to your spaceship you'll do weird things to me."
Joe: "She got a point there."
Nicky gave Joe the same look from before "You're not helping so shut up or else you won't get sex the rest of the year". Once again it did the trick.
Joe placed a hand on Andy's shoulder: "What do you say that we try to outrun the alien? If we're fast enough we can save Quynh."
Andy: "Brilliant idea, but let's walk away slowly so it won't look suspicious."
Nicky didn't move at all as Joe and Andy started to walk away. When they had turned around the corner, Nicky started to walk again. It only took a couple of minutes before they reached Andy and Quynh's flat.
Andy: "Your plan worked, Joe."
Andy took Quynh's hand and tried to pull Quynh with her.
Andy: "Come, Quynh. We need to get going before the alien gets back."
Quynh: "What alien?"
Joe: "I'll explain in a moment. Andy, do you mind looking at me?"
Andy did it.
Joe: "One way to keep the alien out of the house is if you go to sleep and activate the force field by snoring really loud. If you do that you'll protect Quynh."
Andy: "You promise that?"
Joe: "When have I ever lied to you?"
Andy: "You got a point there. Show me the bed and I'll activate the force field."
Andy let Joe tuck her under the duvet before he told Quynh about the scary Italian alien.
A couple of hours later, Andy woke with a headache that reminded her of hangovers. When she walked into the living room it was clear to her, that everyone was trying not to laugh.
Andy: "What is it that is so funny?"
Joe: "I'll tell you in a moment but let me ask you this first: where is Nicky from?"
Andy: "Rome, everyone knows that."
Then Joe told Andy of the scary Italian alien and everyone but Andy laughed.
Andy: "I'm so sorry, Nicky. I didn't mean..."
Nicky: "Don't think about it. I'm not mad at you."
Andy: "Thanks. I'm glad to hear it."
Andy hugged Nicky.
Joe with a smirk: "So, when you're watching "Alien" and the Xenomorph roars or whatever it does, it sounds Italian to you?"
Andy: "You're still not funny, Al-Kaysani. You need to remember that. And no, it doesn't sound like Italian to me."
Nicky made a sign that Andy should bend down so he could whisper something to her.
Andy with an even bigger smirk than Joe's: "You do know, Joe, that you in a way just have called your hubby a Xenomorph. Is that how you describe your sex life with an Italian?"
This time it was Andy who laughed over Joe trying to dick himself out of the verbal ditch he had just dug.