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Zayn realised he had a missed call from Liam when he picked up his phone to check the time.
When he had to go away, he’d promised to always be there to talk to Liam anytime he wanted, and in the first time he needed it, Zayn wasn’t there. Liam had left a voicemail, though, and Zayn pressed the button to listen to it, sighing as he noticed his shaky fingers.
"Um, hi," Liam’s voice was low and Zayn could feel the bleakness in it. "I assumed you were busy with something, so I decided not to call again. But… when you see this- I mean, hear this– if you hear this, please let me know you did. I was just… I just wanted to talk to you, no big deal at all. It's just that… I don’t know. Things are quite heavy since you left. I mean, to me. I feel- I don’t even know how or what I feel. Just wish I could see you right now. Just that. Just wish you were here. And yes," he laughed, "as stupid and cheesy as it sounds, I miss you. We haven't seen each other for how long? Two weeks? Maybe one and a half?" Liam stopped talking, and Zayn had his eyes closed tightly, his hands still shaking. "I miss you, I miss you a lot. I- I really love you, Zayn." there was another pause, and Zayn restricted his attention to listening closely to Liam’s recorded soft sighs. Malik’s heart was heavy in his chest. "I love you.“
Zayn swallowed past the lump on his throat, sighing slowly.
"Hey, you ready?”
It was Perrie. They were supposed to be leaving his house together that day and board an effing plane for the sake of paparazzi pictures and maybe a headline or two. Zayn sighed again and turned around, consequently giving Perrie enough room to see his worried, hurt, confused expression.
“What’s going on?”
Her voice was soft as always; her face as peaceful as ever. Her eyes had a shade of indifference; seeing all of it reminded Zayn of how much he wanted to get out. He wanted to vanish from that hole he was living in, forever. He just wanted peace. He didn’t want to have to take that serene expression of her amidst all the confusion he had to face inside. He wanted to live his life on his own terms. He wanted to solve things. He wanted to go back to Liam, go back to his friends, and never again cross paths with the irony and the air of nonchalance that laid on Perrie.
“Zayn?”
He came back to reality when he felt her hand on his. Zayn delicately shook her away, blinking his eyes too many times to see if they would stop watering.
“I gotta make a phone call first,” he said, almost whispering. Perrie leaned in to try and catch what he'd said, but she couldn't.
“You what?”
“I have to make a phone call before we go- please, just wait for me in the living room. I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Alright. I’ll be waiting.”
When Perrie left, Zayn closed the door shut and searched for Liam’s number on his phone. He took the mobile phone to his ear, waiting for the boy to pick the call up.
“Hello?”
“It’s me,” His breath was short and he didn’t really know what to say, or how to bring up what he wanted to say. He bit on his bottom lip, waiting for Liam to say something on the other side of the line.
“Hi.” Liam breathed out, also hoping for Zayn to say something.
Zayn figured it’d be much easier if he just let it out:
“I love you too, okay?” He sighed, his eyes closing shut. “I know I didn’t say it enough times for you to believe me, but I do, I love you.”
“I know you do,” Liam said, softly. “I’m sorry about the storm of words I've just dropped on you. I needed to say it, but I’m sorry- I know it wasn’t the best time to do it.”
Zayn wanted to punch himself and to hold Liam until they both had enough of it– as it used to happen.
“Liam, it’s alright. It didn’t- it didn’t make me any harm, don’t be silly. I’m the one who needs to apologize, for not picking your call up.”
“It’s okay… I know it’s all too much to handle right now.” Liam stopped talking, gathering as much courage as he could so he’d say something usual and break the weird atmosphere. "So, what are you up to today?"
“I’m flying to Bradford with my family, like, now,” Zayn sighed, his fingers pressed to his forehead. “I will try to call you again later.”
“It’s fine,” Liam paused then, his smile suddenly vanishing for the realization he’d just made. “Is Perrie going?”
“Kinda,” he breathed out. “she’ll just be boarding the plane with us, we’ll drop her wherever, and then we’ll head off to Bradford. Her presence is just for pictures, anyway.”
“I see. Don’t worry, it’s fine if you can’t call me- but just please, please send me a text when you get there so I know you’re fine.”
“Sure, I’ll do it.” Zayn smiled again, staring down at his watch. “I need to go.”
There was silence. Maybe because like most in love couples in the world, they were terrible at saying goodbye in long distance phone calls, maybe because the last sentence Zayn had said reminded them about the exact last moment they’d had together.
“Love you,” Zayn finally said, his voice cut short again. “Love you- so much.”
“I love you too,” Liam replied, his voice as wounded as Zayn’s. “I’ll be waiting, alright?”
“Alright.” Zayn felt his nose go funny as his eyes were wattering. “We’ll talk.”
“Have a safe flight.”
“Li- tell the-the boys I said hi. Send them love for me.”
“I will.” Liam’s eyes were already red and wet, and he could bet they were puffy too. He’d to hold back his cry for too long and he knew once he let it out, it would be like this. “See you soon.”
Zayn knew he was crying. That’s why he couldn’t hold it back, too.
“See you, love.”
And they both ended the call at the same time. Zayn slowly paced down the stairs, drying up his eyes on his sleeves. He knew, deep inside, that eventually everything would be alright. Soon, soon enough.