Chapter Text
Ghost turned in bed for what seemed like the hundredth time. As much as he tried, sleep escaped him. He had tried every trick he knew, and still there he was, eyes wide and unrelenting.
He softly climbed out of bed and paced silently towards the kitchen. With a glass of water, he leaned against a counter and looked out the window, sighing heavily.
His six month leave, once seeming like a neverending punishment, ended up being incredibly short. He’d managed to settle in, finding that this tiny corner of the world offered him the peace of mind and contentment he had been yearning for. He’d managed to unwind, finding beauty in the small things in life that he had never been allowed to enjoy. Life was slow, quiet and boring, and he found that he liked it.
Still, his hands itched to get back to what he knew best. As much as he loved where he was, he knew not going back to his job was going to drive him stir-crazy eventually. Johnny understood that, too, which is why when Ghost finally got the call from Price that they’d need him to come in to do a health check and attend briefings, he was happy for him. He’d been understanding, immediately trying to figure out the logistics for him to get back to base, even if he was not allowed to know the exact location of it.
But the prospect of going back also brought back the anxieties that Ghost tried so hard to keep buried. Looming thoughts that kept him up, trying to make him stagger, to do and say the wrong thing. In the darkness of the bedroom, it was much easier to think of how everything could go wrong. How he now no longer had to answer only for himself, but for Johnny and Daisy, too. That if something happened to him, it wouldn’t only affect him.
It was a terrifying thought.
So now he couldn’t sleep, and he was torn– split between excitement to be able to go back, and worry that this normalcy that he had built during the past six months would end up crumbling under the pressure of his reality.
“Simon?” Johnny’s sleep-laced voice came from the bedroom door, and Ghost startled out of his thoughts, body completely tensing. “Sorry, love. Can’t sleep?” Johnny was immediately at his side, rubbing his arm and gently taking the glass from his hands. Ghost nodded silently, eyes casted down.
“Sit.” Ghost looked up at him, confused. Johnny rolled his eyes affectionately and gestured to the dining room table. “Sit.”
Ghost went pliantly, watching as Johnny shuffled around the kitchen, getting the kettle going and fishing a cup from where it lay on the dish drying rack.
He was making him tea.
Ghost watched him in silence as he moved with the expertise that comes with knowing your space. Johnny did not drink tea, but he had bought some for Ghost, because he knew that he, in turn, did not drink coffee. He was shit at making it at first, Ghost pulling his leg about it, Johnny pretending to be offended. But he learned – he knew the brand Ghost liked, the two sugars, the splash of milk.
He also knew that when Ghost was in this frame of mind, a warm cup of tea helped.
He pushed the cup on the table and sat in front of Ghost, eyeing him curiously. “Is it going back to work?” Ghost hummed affirmatively as he took a small sip. It was perfect.
“Ye kno’ it dinnae change anything, right?” This wonderful man, with his wonderful tea and his wonderful words. Ghost did not deserve him.
“I know. It’s just– a lot. I’m sorry.” Johnny shook his head immediately at that, reaching out to softly pat Ghost’s cheek. A small reassurance. It was his way of saying you don’t have to apologize, you idiot. It was wonderful.
Ghost had said his goodbyes the night before, knowing that he had to leave before the sun was up. Daisy had been teary-eyed but had held up, being reassured time and time again that Simon wasn’t leaving , not really, he would be back in a few days. Ghost knew, looking into Johnny’s eyes, that even if he was reassuring his daughter, he still had his doubts.
Ghost had them, too.
The trip back to base was long and tedious. He tried to catch up on sleep but he knew deep down it was futile. He did not think he was going to get much sleep in the coming weeks.
As soon as his boots hit the ground of the base, though, he felt at home again. The road to the main building was dirt– there was not much greenery around. He could hear the faint sounds of drills being run, of new recruits being put through the ringer. It brought a small smile to his face. This, he knew. This, he could do.
When he finally spotted Price he walked to him, seeing the older man smile in recognition and affectionately clapping his hand on his shoulder before gesturing to him to follow him to his office. His constant swirl of worried thoughts was now pushed swiftly to the back of his head, his mind blissfully blank as he slid back into his own. The smell of dirt, the blistering heat, the worried glances people shot him as he walked by. This was home.
He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and realized that he had not let Johnny know he’d arrived. He went to grab it but, looking up at Price, he decided against it. The team didn’t need to know.