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CPR

Summary:

Wade figured out Spider Man's secret identity. What better way to apologize and get to know each other better than to go to the beach?

//or the one where Wade pretends to drown to trick Peter into kissing him

Notes:

So this is loosely based off of a plot from ask-spiderpool.tumblr.com (which you should totally check out btw bc its the cutest thing ever like its basically a fanfic but with pictures). There was a bit where Wade tried to pretend to drown to kiss Peter but *spoilers* it didn't work. This'll go a little differently than that.

 

[Italicized box is the white thought box.]
[Bolded box is the yellow thought box.]

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The sun was hot, the sand was hot, and the boy laying next to Wade was definitely hot. It was the perfect day for a vacation.

He had brought the two of them to a secluded beach for a way to try to get to know each other better. He had accidentally saw Peter take off his mask while on patrol and thought it well that Wade and Peter should get acquainted instead of it just being Deadpool and Spider Man. It ended up being a little bit more awkward than planned.

Their day consisted of Peter laying in the sun while Wade sat in a beach chair shaded by an umbrella. He kept stealing glances at the younger boy, making excuses as to why by telling himself it was to make sure he wouldn't get sun burnt and not because he was totally ogling his naked torso. He could tell that Peter knew what he was doing - he would sometimes catch his gaze through his sunglasses and would smile awkwardly but charmingly up at him. It happened again for the tenth time and Wade viciously sucked at his drink.

[He's a lot more cuter than expected.]

Wade had to nod at that. He always thought that Spidey would have adorable messy brown hair and twinkling hazel eyes, and although Peter did deliver, never in his mind did he come up with the thought of dimples.

[Soo... Are you going to kiss him now?]

Wade choked on his drink.

[What? We all know that the whole point of this trip was to get a little action with Spider Man]

[And here I thought it was to become better friends with him.]

[Who said we couldn't do both?]

Wade huffed.

[Maybe we can trick him into kissing us somehow?]

"And how would we do that?"

"Do what?" Peter asked. Wade froze.

"Nothing. Just thinking out loud," he said lamely. Peter shrugged and laid back down. Wade looked, once again, down at him. "Hmph."

"What?"

"Aren't you afraid you'll get burnt?" He asked. "Sun burns suck. And trust me, I know much damaged skin sucks." He gestured to his scarred body. He wasn't wearing a mask, but he was still wearing a Hawaiian shirt with his swimming trunks to cover up a bit.

"Is that why you've been watching me? To make sure I don't fry?" Peter smirked.

"Yeah, sure. That's the reason," he chuckled awkwardly. Peter gave him a weird look before returning to tan.

[Oh! Ask him for a swim and then pretend you're drowning!]

[Why the hell would he do that?]

[To trick him into kissing us, duh.]

[How could that possibly ever work?]

[Ever heard of CPR?]

Wade rolled his eyes. His voices were somehow more desperate than he was.

[Hey, it could work!]

[Peter would never fall for it.]

[Doesn't hurt to try.]

Wade paused. "Maybe..."

"Huh?"

He looked down at Peter. It was worth a shot.

"Do you want to go for a swim?"

[Yes!]

[Oh dear.]

"What?" Peter propped himself up on his elbows.

"Do you want to go for a swim?" Wade repeated. "I mean, we are at the beach. What's the point of coming here if we're not going to swim? That's like going to the aquarium and not looking at the shark tank. If I wanted to lay down and stare at the sky all weekend, I would've down so in the street."

"Why specifically in the street?"

"It doesn't matter," Wade huffed. "C'mon, Petey! I'm not going to be swimming all alone like a loser."

Peter rolled his eyes and took off his sunglasses. "Okay, let's go."

"Great!" Wade grinned and jumped out of his chair, practically ripping off his shirt. He was giddy. "Let's go, baby boy!"

"You know I hate it when you call me that," Peter huffed. Wade only smirked.

The water was really refreshing, Peter had to admit. It irritated his heated skin for a moment, proving that he probably did get a little sun burnt. He honestly didn't mind. He was having a great time and didn't want such a little thing to ruin it. Yes, he'll probably be regretting it tomorrow, but at the moment, he was having fun with Wade.

Wait, where was Wade?

Peter was too caught up in his own thoughts to notice that the merc had stopped talking about how he would graciously pee on the boy if he ever got stung by a jellyfish. He looked around, trying to find any sign of him. The thought of him being underwater crossed his mind, but he would've been up for air by now. His little worries turned to panic as he saw something thrashing around in the water not too far away from him.

"Wade!" Peter yelped and swam towards him. He reached him just as he stopped moving around, floating limply on the surface of the water. "Oh man, oh man, oh man. Fuck, Wade. Only you would drown in shallow water."

Peter slung the merc over his shoulder and quickly swam towards the shore. He put the man down on the sand with a huff. He stared at him, half expecting him to jump up and laugh in his face, saying it was all just a cruel joke. That didn't happen. Now he was really panicking.

Fuzzy memories of CPR lessons from when he was a lifeguard at the community pool resurfaced in his mind and he quickly got to work. He pounded on his chest, trying to force some of the water that Wade accidentally breathed in. Some did spill out, but it wasn't enough. He still wasn't breathing. Peter was about to do mouth to mouth when he paused.

"Wait a minute," he mumbled to himself. "Healing factor. Duh."

Wade inwardly groaned.

[Well, it was a good try.]

[A+ for effort.]

He was about to open his eyes and cough out the remaining water stuck in his throat when Peter spoke up.

"But..." he sighed, staring at him. An uneasy feeling churned in his stomach. "I can't just let you die. Even if you do come back to life."

[Oh?]

[Oh.]

Peter pressed his mouth onto Wade's.

[Oh!]

Wade's eyes popped open in disbelief. Holy shit, it worked.

[I'm a genius!]

Peter forced air into Wade, plugging his nose so it couldn't escape. He quickly moved back to his chest and pounded on it again. Wade coughed out the rest of the water but he was in such shock that he forgot how to breathe. Peter took it the wrong way and continued trying to resuscitate him, pressing his mouth on his again. Wade couldn't stop himself from kissing him.

Peter froze as Wade wrapped his arms around him, trying to bring him closer. The boy hovered over the other, not sure what to do. Wade almost squealed in delight when Peter started to kiss back.

[Yep. Total genius.]

Peter's mouth was already open because of the mouth to mouth and Wade did not hesitate to use that to his advantage. He almost moaned from the taste of his mouth alone. His hands wandered over the boy's body, trying to soak it all in. Peter slowly lowered himself until there was no space between them, hands moving to cup Wade's face. He suddenly froze and broke the kiss, getting up to sit on (straddle) him and glared down at the woozy merc.

"Damn, Spidey," Wade whistled. He was broken out of his trance by a slap to the face. "Hey!"

"What the hell was that?" Peter scowled.

"Yeah, what the hell was that?" Wade huffed, rubbing his cheek. "That really hurt."

"Not that, you idiot!" He pointed to the water. "That!"

Wade lazily looked at the direction he was pointing. "Oh, that? Yeah, I drowned," he shrugged. Peter's scowl deepened. "What? I did! Was it on purpose? Well, that can be debatable..."

"I can't believe you pretended to drown so you could... what, make out with me?" He threw his hands up in the air. "Unbelievable."

"Oh, come one. Don't act like you didn't enjoy it," Wade smirked, fluttering his eyes for good measure.

"Well, I- uh..." Peter trailed off, rubbing his neck. A light blush covered his cheek as he avoided the merc's gaze.

And that was all Wade needed to pull him down and kiss him again.

Notes:

Like I said, this was based off of a plot in the work of ask-spiderpool.tumblr.com . You should totally check it out.