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It has to end.
Felix can handle a lot. He’s a tough guy, contrary to his soft exterior. There’s an iron will behind that cute smile. He’s a persevere-er, one might say. But in this situation, he can’t move on, he cannot overcome. This has to stop, as much as it’ll break his heart.
When Chan came home with his fifth 3 foot tall plushy for their eighteen month old daughter, Felix knew he had to put an end to this behavior.
Joy loves it. Of course she does. The unicorn is pink, soft as a cloud, and can fit her whole toddler body on its stomach. She completely ignores Chan in favor of it, which is the opposite of the intention of the gift. He wants her attention. Because he feels guilty about the amount of attention he gives her. And that’s completely ridiculous because Chan commits every moment of the day, when he’s not at work and Joy isn’t asleep, to her satisfaction and happiness. And yet, here he is, bringing another extravagant present to cope with his guilt.
Felix stands in the corner, arms crossed, lips pursed into a frown. He will not break. He will not crack a smile, no matter how cute it is when Joy starts petting the unicorn’s hair and saying, “pretty pretty”, mimicking Felix when he brushes her hair in the morning. He’s a man on a mission and that mission is to stop his husband from filling their two bedroom apartment with plushies before it is too late. But Lord almighty she’s so cute. She has his freckles and doughy cheeks. She must have the most kissable nose in the entire world, Felix thinks. He does not have a violent bone in his body but he is certain he would commit a crime if another person so much as looked at her the wrong way. She belongs in Gap ads, if Felix wasn’t against that sort of thing.
Chan lays down on the carpet next to them, cooing at their daughter nonsensically. He still surprises his husband with the sounds that come out of his mouth when he plays with the baby — it’s like he’s speaking a third language as he pokes her cheeks and plays with her tufts of black hair. This man is a professional wordsmith but put Joy in front of him and his vocabulary completely melts away. Felix shouldn’t be shocked. Sometimes, Chan struggles to form a coherent sentence when he’s talking to him, too.
Joy tries to sit up, but begins to teeter. Chan holds her steady by the hips and she finally returns her attention to her dad. She extends her arms to him, silently asking to move from the plush’s stomach to his. Felix has to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from grinning like a lovesick fool.
No, this is serious business and Felix will take this seriously. Super seriously. So serious —
Chan starts to tickle Joy. Her giggles fill the living room, getting louder when Chan sits up, throws her over the shoulder, stands, and slowly starts spinning her in circles. She howls with laughter. Felix feels like he’s going to die. His heart is too full. It’ll explode at any moment and kill him if this continues.
He does what’s best for his health. He walks away.
Alone in the kitchen, his affection for his husband subsides and the frustration comes back. Another three foot tall stuffed animal they don't have room for. Felix fumes. Soon Chan could move on from something relatively harmless like a plushie. What if he buys her something actually valuable? He wouldn’t put it past his husband to buy Joy a pearl necklace or something opulent like that. He bought Felix a Cartier bracelet for their first anniversary. And that’s when they were only dating. Of course Joy deserves the best of everything in the entire world but she’s not even two. If they keep spoiling her like this now, she’ll get used to it. Felix will not raise one of those kids that gets whatever they want — they turn into the worst teenagers.
Felix passive aggressively washes the dishes. Then he passive aggressively scrubs the counters. He figures while he’s at it, he might as well clean the fridge. There has to be a couple of items past their expiration date in there. Somewhere in the middle of these chores, he hears Chan carry Joy down the hallway for her nap. He’s unsurprised when Chan enters the kitchen but chooses to ignore him, pretending instead to be super focused on reading the tofu label.
“Yeobo,” Chan chimes. “Felix.”
Felix’s body betrays him — his shoulders relax and a shiver runs down his spine. He loves the way his name sounds in his husband’s mouth, how his accent makes it sound like a song. Chan approaches him but Felix tries to steel himself, determined not to give him attention so easily.
Chan’s muscular arms fold around Felix’s waist. Felix tries to keep reading the packaging but his vision blurs as Chan presses a soft kiss right below Felix’s earlobe, then another on his jaw.
“Felix,” he murmurs again. Curse his body for leaning into Chan’s chest, the opposite of what Felix wants to be doing. “Are you mad at me, angel?”
In a burst of energy, Felix tosses the tofu back onto the shelf and slams the fridge shut. “No,” he replies, tone clipped. He tries to step away from his husband but Chan tightens his hold, shoves his face against the back of Felix’s neck, and kisses there too. Felix braces his hands against the counter and grits his teeth to stop an unwanted moan from passing his lips.
“You’re lying,” Chan accuses. He sounds worried, and god, Felix hates that. Even if he should be worried about what Felix is going to do if he walks through their door with another giant teddy bear. “Don’t lie to me, baby, why are you mad?”
Felix fidgets and Chan understands that he wants to turn around. He loosens his hold enough for Felix spin around so he can properly glare at his husband. His charming, thoughtful, stupidly handsome husband. They stare at each other in silence for a moment, Chan pouting, Felix stern.
“Another stuffed animal?” He finally asks, although it’s not really a question. “Really, Chris?”
Chan collapses forward and rests his forehead against Felix’s as he lets out a mighty, defeated sigh. He knows when Felix calls him by his English name, he means business. “I’m sorry,” he pleads.
“You can’t keep doing this. She’s still a baby, hyung, she doesn’t need all of this.”
“I know,” the elder groans. “I just —“
“You feel guilty,” Felix finishes for him. Chan falls silent but Felix can hear his thoughts screaming in his head. He takes pity on the him — he is, after all, only doing what he thinks is best — and brings his arms to rest on Chan’s shoulders, so he’s at least partially holding him back. “Stop overthinking, yeobo, and listen to me. You are the love of my life, and I am so happy that you are my husband. I will never, ever divorce you. I will, however, be forced to murder you if you keep buying our child expensive presents — that she cannot even fully appreciate because, once again, she is a baby — because you feel bad about being away.” Felix grabs Chan’s cheeks and forces him to look deep into his eyes. “You are a good father, yeobo. The best, besides me. Joy doesn’t need a unicorn that is quite literally twice her size. She just needs you.”
“But I’m not —“
Felix lightly taps Chan’s cheek, a cat-like slap. “You are. You are here. If you came home from work and went straight to bed and never had dinner with us and never gave joy a bath, then no, you wouldn’t be here. But you are up first and asleep last so that you can take care of us. That’s what makes you the almost-perfect man that you are. And I will so happily give you the full Perfect Man title again if you stop buying our fucking baby expensive shit."
“What if I buy them for you?” Chan offers. Felix actually hits him this time, but just on the arm.
“No!” He shouts, then he remembers that there’s a toddler sleeping on the other side of their wall. He takes a calming breath. “You need to stop with the guilt gifts, Channie. They are driving me batshit crazy.” Chan falls silent again, staring at the floor pathetically.
Felix brings his hands to Chan’s neck, suddenly tender. It’s hard to stay mad at Chan when he turns into a hurt puppy. “Christopher, Joy and I are not going anywhere. You can search the whole multiverse. There is not a single one where I leave you.”
Chan’s watery gaze meets Felix’s. Felix softens, weak to his husband’s sensitive heart. “I just want you to have something so you’ll think of me when I’m not here.”
“Yeobo,” Felix whines, exasperated. “I am always thinking of you. Always. Every time I look at Joy, I think of you. And Joy — she doesn’t even have object permanence yet. She doesn’t think of anything that isn’t in front of her. But that’s not because she doesn’t love you. She does, she loves you so much. More than all of her toys, okay? I promise.”
Chan sighs again but nods, defeated. “Okay,” he concedes. “I’ll stop.”
“Thank God,” Felix says before pulling Chan closer and connecting their lips. Chan jumps into action, pressing Felix against the counter and prying his mouth open with his tongue. Felix moans into the kiss. The angry thoughts wash away and get replaced with the usual mantra of, Chris, husband, love, adore, protect, want, need.
They make out for a while. Felix ends up sitting on the counter. When Chan pulls away their pupils are blown out, their lips are swollen, and Felix’s hair is properly mussed. “What if,” Chan asks, gasping for air, “I only get us gifts we can both enjoy?”
Felix grins. He’s always loved a loop hole.