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The dull grey walls of the Tulsa hospital weren’t much of a sight, but they were all there was to look at as Cherry sat in the waiting room. Her mind was racing, she couldn’t help but thinking this was a stupid idea. A notion based on a sudden impulse to do something kind, and for what? Why would he ever want to see her? And after all of this, why did she want to see him?
Maybe it was because of what he’d done for her. Standing up to the man he admired just for her, someone he didn’t know anything about. Or maybe it was because Ponyboy’s words had stuck in the back of her mind. Was she telling the truth about Bob? Their relationship certainly was not the picture perfect image she wanted. There was moments of genuine care, but everything in that time felt defined by arguments and begging him to give her the basic respect of not getting drunk every moment he could.
While yes, it did hurt that he was dead, the crushing loss coming from the death of loved one was not something she could escape, even with a man like Bob.
But something about it was liberating. Like a great weight of trying to maintain an image was lifted from her shoulders.
And perhaps Johnny deserved some thanks for being the one to liberate her in a twisted sense.
Or maybe, just maybe something in her subconscious forced some guilt about his current situation onto her. It wasn’t her fault. Logically, she knew that, she was at the wrong place at the wrong time, and a ripple effect happened to lead them here.
Though deep down, she knew she could never share those thoughts. She did not want to know what people would possibly think of her if she even dared to mutter her darkest ideas about her guilt, about her newfound “freedom”, and, the greatest sin of all to some, wanting to thank a greaser.
This was a stupid idea. Everything within her tells her to leave. If she left now, Johnny would never know she was there. She could go about her life, only occasionally remembering the greaser boy who did all of those things for her.
But suddenly, she’s stopped. A voice cutting through her thoughts.
“Sherri Valance?”
She stood up, a bit frantic. It was too late to back out now, she could not be a coward. She straightened out her pale blue skirt, wanting to look presentable, even if it was a meaningless gesture. A boy in what could be his final moments wouldn’t care that her skirt was slightly wrinkled, so why should she?
“He will see you now, right this way,” the nurse said before leading her into the small room where she knew Johnny waited.
The room wasn’t much to look at, same bland, grey walls as in the waiting room, occasionally lined some wood accents.
The boring look of the room, however, was the least of her concerns. There was only one sight that mattered. The hospital bed that laid towards the back of the room.
“I’ll leave you two be. If anything happens, don’t be afraid deal to call one of us in,” the nurse stated before scurrying away, a slightly judgmental look on her face. Obviously, the meeting between the strange to everyone who saw.
Cherry took a deep breath and pulled up a chair. She found herself avoiding looking at him, trying to put her eyes somewhere, anywhere but on him.
After she sat down, being greeted with a few agonizing minutes of silent before Johnny broke it by weakly saying, “I didn’t think you’d come.”
“I didn’t either,” Cherry replied meekly.
More silence.
Johnny again was the one to break it. The boy found himself talking more than normal, with an anxious tone, worried what she would say, “Look, if you’re here to talk about what I did to Bob than I’m so sorry for any pain I’ve caused you and I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness but-“
“I… I actually wanted to thank you,” she said in return. “For everything I mean, everything surrounding- well, all of this,” she quickly added, trying to divert his mind away from Bob.
Johnny tried his best to shift his gaze to her. “What do ya mean?” he slowly asked, as if the words pained him to speak.
She took another deep breath, “Y’know… what you did with Dally… I can’t imagine the nerve it took to stand up to him. And for someone you didn’t even know. I had never seen anything like it. If had gone any further than I…”
Her voice broke, she found herself tearing up. She paused a moment to regain composure, looking up to the bright fluorescents to blink back her tears, before continuing, “Well, you know what men like Dallas do.”
Johnny was silent. He knew exactly what she meant, better than anyone in fact. Particularly when it came to Dallas. As hard as it was, sometimes he needed to admit his hero was not someone who should be idolized. He stayed quiet a moment longer, before just replying with a simple, “Yeah. It was the right thing to do.”
“I will forever be grateful to you for that, Johnny,” she blurted out. After such a statement, Cherry paused again, holding her breath as she gave him a chance to reply.
But Johnny was silent. In all of his sixteens years, a genuine thanks like that wasn’t something he was used to hearing. Sure, he heard it, in passing conversations with Pony, or from Two-Bit after he had made a good play in their lot football games. But never like that, never with that much weight.
Once it became appear he had nothing to say, Cherry just continued, “And about Bob…”
Johnny tensed up, what was she going to do? Yell? Berate him? Start sobbing? He had no idea, and the unknown of her reaction terrified him.
But of all the reactions he could have possibly thought of, what she said was not what he expected.
“I wanted to thank you for that too,” she said quietly, almost under her breath, “and that’s awful, I know it is. But… it’s so freeing, like I couldn’t get rid of him any other way. I feel you’re the only person I could ever tell that to.”
“I still feel awful guilty about what I did… he didn’t deserve what I did to him, he was just a kid too,” Johnny replied meekly.
Cherry wants to agree. She so desperately wants to reply in a way that would push her dark thoughts out of her mind. But she can’t.
The silence says all he needs to hear. A moment of uncomfortable quiet settles over the pair, it was a bad idea to bring up Bob, the memories were just too painful and fresh for them both.
Cherry finally musters up the courage to slice through the tension and says, “I just… I want you to know I think you’re a swell kid Johnny. Letting you know that is part of why I wanted to come. There’s a lot more that I owe you that I’m sure I haven’t even realized yet.”
“You think I’m swell? Even if I’m a grease?” he questioned in a stunned tone, mouth agape with awe at her words..
Cherry paused, she couldn’t be sure if he was trying to lighten the mood with being funny or not. But Johnny didn’t seem like that type, so she replied, “Of course I do. Meeting you and Pony… it made me realize how superficial all that stuff is. Makes me wonder why we need to live our lives dictated by our social classes. We’re all people.”
“Yeah… we’re not so different after all, right?”
“That’s right. You two have made me see that. I don’t know how I never realized it before.”
“You’re not that bad yourself,” Johnny said while cracking a small smile, mustering all the strength he can in it.
Cherry paused a moment before realizing, Johnny Cade just made a joke. Even with the gravity of the situation they were in, Cherry Valance laughed.
“That means a lot coming from you,” she said as her laughter faded.
The two could feel the tone of their evening shift, becoming such an enjoyable time that they didn’t even notice the time pace right by them. To break them from their little bubble, a nurse walked in.
“There are some more routine check ups we need to preform on him,” the nurse said, “But if you come back during visiting hours, I’m sure we could let you see him.”
Cherry sighed, not wanting the moment to end. She felt that even for just a moment, the two became friends. Cherry rose from her seat, headed to the door.
But Johnny stopped her in her tracks with the simple phrase of, “Hey Cherry…?”
She paused, not ready to let go just yet, so she turned back around, looking at the boy as he laid there.
“Don’t be a stranger, do ya promise?”
Cherry gave a small smile, it was a small gesture, but one she could envision herself performing. “I promise.”
On her walk back to her car in the cool night air, Cherry took a stop to admire the stars. The twinkling lights against the black sky brought to mind the eyes of Johnny Cade, their conversation replaying over and over.
Maybe, just maybe, they really could be friends.