Chapter Text
Tommy Riddle woke up in his room and got out of his king sized bed that took up his whole giant room. He went downstairs where he found Aunt Dursel, his aunt, eating flowers out of the vase Tommy had put there.
He yelled at her, "Get out!!!" and she yelled back, "I will!!!" They smiled at each other and then she left his house.
That was how things went at Tommy’s house. The living situation was he lived with Aunt Dursel, Uncle Dursel and Brother Bradley Dursel. But only because he let them stay there. They were used as his personal servants bringing him ice cold lemonade.
“Are you ready for school, Master Tommy?” Brother Bradley Dursel asked, bringing Tommy his morning paper and some ice cold lemonade.
Tommy ate some chocolate for breakfast like the king everyone knew he was and then left and got on the airplane to Wartshog, his school for kitchens and wizars.
"Chocolate is unhealthy." Said his buddy Malfoy. Malfoy was a blonde boy who is important because he is friends with Tommy. He was riding on a bicycle beside the airplane.
"I don't care." Said Tommy.
"You are polluting the air." Malfoy noted staring at the school’s airplane.
"I don't care." Tommy said. "Let the world die."
"You should care," Malfoy said. "You live on it."
"Nah I live on the moon!" Tommy put a blanket on his airplane window so he wouldn’t have to speak with his bestie anymore. Malfoy was always about animals and saving the world and stuff.
Luna Lovegood rode up on a hover jet inside the plane. "Hi, Tommy!" She had a book in her mouth and glasses. That’s how you knew she was smart.
"Aloha means family." Said Tommy.
"Yeah no it doesn’t—oh never mind. I don't like you." Luna said. Because she wasn’t friends with Tommy…yet. She was blonde.
"I don't like you either." Tommy smiled, then pointed in the reflection of his window. "Look it's the Boy Who Didn’t Die!" Everyone turned to Tommy Riddle who was the hero of the decade after evil wizard Harrywald had failed to kill him that one time.
"Ooooh." Malfoy panted. He had ridden his green bike really fast to catch up to the airplane. “Gotta get that cardio.”
"Heyo people." A boy named Newt walked up, trying to be cool and making everyone cringe. "I like froyo."
"That is unhealthy." Malfoy stated as usual.
"High five!" Said Newt Salamander.
Everyone ignored him.
Newt was all about the wild life. Animals and nature I mean. He looked like a guy who would have empty tables and chairs because he’s in Les Mis. Or because he threw a sad dinner party.
The airplane landed at their new school.
Everyone knew what their Houses were already so they knew what tables to sit at at the Grossest Hall. They’d been emailed their results because the Sorting Hat retired last year.
“It’s a new system,” said Headmaster Snape happily.
Tommy, Draco and Luna all were in Slytherin. “Yay,” They said, pretending to be surprised.
“But aw we’re with that book girl,” said Tommy and looked at Luna.
“She’s a know it all,” said Draco.
Newt got put alone in Hufflepuff. “All alone,” he said sadly and the other Hufflepuffs punched him.
“You got hufflepunched,” Said Cedric Diggory who was a man of many digs but graves were not one of them.
So anyway, they ate some food—which sadly wasn’t as good as the meals from Tommy’s home—and then they immediately went to their first class which was taught by Professor Levana.
"We’ll be late for class." Luna came by Tommy and Draco because they weren’t walking fast enough and she said worriedly, "If we’re late Professor Levana might eat our brains."
"For the last time she's not a zombie," said Malfoy, rolling some eyeballs.
“Yeah she’s a kitty cat,” Tommy agreed, not listening.
"Detention!" Yelled someone. "I am Professor Marlen,” he explained. “I am substitute for today and everyday. Professor Levana got sick. Permanently. But it’s okay, she’ll be better soon.”
"As if. Zombies don't like sunlight." Said Luna all knowledgeabley to Malfoy.
“Ew get away from me know it all,” Malfoy said, scooting closer to Tommy.
It was a fine day at their school which was Wartshog.
Professor Marlen was a tall bald man who wore all black and had one eyepatch because if he had two eyepatches he wouldn’t be able to see.
"Get out your breadsticks! Now the spell we will learn today is we will learn how to turn into a eagle.” Marlin said. ”Whisper, 'lollipopbutterflypizzapopsandwichcheese' and then yell, ‘EAGLEPRESTOMAGICSTUFF’!!!'"
The class began whispering and yelling the spell. No one turned into an eagle except for Tommy. Hermione Shortbutt blew up because of her bad luck. Hermione Shortbutt was just awful at everything, but she was almost the boy who didn’t die.
"NEWT STOP DISAPPEARING!!” Marlen shouted. “MALFOY SPIT OUT YOUR BREADSTICK!!! HERMIONE CONTROL YOUR BAD LUCK!!! Great job Tommy."
Hermione flew into the sky and blew up like fireworks and landed hard on the ground. "My leg! My leg! It hurts! I think I broke it and my arm. Owwwwwww!!!"
"Let's get you to the hospital,” Marlen said grumpily. “No one try the spell while I am away!"
This kid Ron Weasley flew into the sky as an eagle when the teacher had left. Ron was kind of a bad boy on a good day and an evil boy on a bad day.
"Don't do that you will get us in trouble!" yelled Malfoy.
Tommy flew into the sky to wrestle Ron. And as fast as lightning they were on the floor again, Ron now in a headlock.
"Get over here Tommy! I need you to try out for the wrestling team. You would be perfect for the job," said Mr. Stitch. The flying wrestling eagle squad. Schmoliver Twig was captain. The team road on mops and wrestled as eagles.
"No!" Ron yelled. "I wanna be on the team!"
"Get over it dude." Twig went off and showed Tommy Riddle how to play the game.