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They tried to stay in contact, they really had. Bradley and Jake would text each other every day, too young to realize exactly what it was they were trying to accomplish by staying together. Only, as time went on, Bradley got swamped by senior year and college applications and Jake was being drowned by his fathers ambitions and dreams for him to be some great football star. Somewhere along the way of those journeys, the messages got less frequent, the calls got shorter, and they always ended more abruptly.
While Bradley never let it sway him, he still talked to Natasha and Bob every day for crying out loud, Jake seemed to pull away faster than Bradley could catch him. He’d tried to hide the way it hurt at first, immediately plagued with thoughts of his Angel finding someone new, someone he could see every day and actually hold without thousands of miles separating them. Unfortunately for Bradley, even five years later, he’d never be able to do that. He’d given Jake his heart that night on a dirt path, dancing with no music under the stars. He was never going to get it back after that.
“We should probably head back soon.” The moon is high in the sky now, and Bradley’s almost positive their friends will come searching for them soon if they don't return. While he isn’t sure how long the two boys have actually been sitting on the rock, he is almost positive he could stay there forever if he doesn’t force himself to leave now.
His head is resting on Jake’s shoulder, and the other is looking up at the sky as Bradley fiddles with his fingers. His own hands are somewhat engulfed in the green fabric of Jake’s letterman. (He’ll never forget the look that came over Jake’s face as Bradley slipped the jacket on, the way his eyes darkened yet grew fond at the same time. Bradley had kissed him for the utmost time after that.)
Jake stands, re-tangling their hands as he does. Bradley assumes he’s agreeing to head back, only to stop short when Jake only stands there and smiles down at him where he’s still on the rock. “Dance with me, Bradshaw.”
Bradley already knows he’d agree to anything this boy asks, a fact that should frighten him more than it does. Instead of dwelling on that, he stands and slips his hands out from Jake’s grasp and around his neck, shivering only lightly as Jake wraps his arms around his waist, slipping his fingers under his shirt. The contrast of Jake’s cold hands on his sides is shocking in all the right ways.
“There’s no music.”
Either Jake doesn’t hear him, or he doesn’t care. He only begins to sway, moving slowly. He’s looking Bradley in the eyes, his gaze so open it’s as if he’s giving Bradley everything he’ll never be able to put into words through that one look. The intimacy of it all, dancing slowly with the boy he’s already falling for, with only the stars and moon to witness, knocks almost all the air out of his lungs and leaves him dizzy in the best way possible. Time slips from his grasp once again as sets his forehead on Jake’s, trying to memorize every second of this moment. So one day he’ll be able to do justice to the story of the exact moment he fell in love with a green-eyed boy.
He remembers the first time he spoke of that moment out loud. He remembers trying to explain exactly what it is about Jake that makes him feel the way he does to Natasha when she had asked him. He never knew she was trying to help in the only way she knew how, doesn’t know the words Jake said to her when she’d confronted him after he’d first started pulling away.
(“He deserves better than me, Trace. What am I going to give him? He’s going to go to some Ivy League college and make his family proud and I’m going to be stuck here with my dad just trying to hold my head above water. I’ll never be able to be what he deserves. So I’m not going to hold him back when he could be finding someone who is.”
“You don’t get it, Bagman. He wants you , and that’s never going to change.”)
Maybe if Natasha had told him like she had thought about so many times, things would be different now. Instead, the two went on to live the part of their lives the other would never get to see nor erase. In Bradley’s case, he didn’t go on to any Ivy League. Instead, he went to a local college, where he spent the next four years making new friends (none that ever compared to those he had that one summer) and even having a relationship here and there (they never lasted, his heart wasn’t there).
Slowly though, he stopped asking about Jake when talking to Nat and Bob, trying to save himself the heartbreak. In time, they stopped bringing him up. He’d always assumed he’d met someone new, maybe even made his way out and finally left his father behind. (Oh how he would hope that was the case.)
He tried to live the best way he could with half his heart somewhere he wasn’t even sure of. Realistically, he knew the second he’d graduated that he’d find himself back in Langwood. Even if the town wasn’t home to Jake anymore, it was still home to his two best friends. (The better parts of him, he likes to say.) It wasn’t necessarily a secret, especially when his parents presented his graduation gift in the form of a small cottage home in Langwood, Texas and the paperwork for him to start his new teaching job at Langwood High that fall.
(He’ll never admit to crying when he told Natasha and Bob the news, even if they poke fun at him all the time for it.)
So here he is, a few weeks after graduation, standing in the airport as he waits for Natasha and Bob to come get him. For some reason, he’s not nervous. He feels like part of him should be, but he also knows it’s only his two friends, and they’d never make him uncomfortable, even after so long apart.
He’s flicking through some news article on his phone when he hears “Brad!” called out behind him. He spins on his heel, pulse jumping at the sight in front of him. Natasha and Bob, obviously a few years older, but still the same souls who he met in the grocery store all those years ago. He’s still trying to take them in when Natasha is suddenly in front of him, pushing on to the tips of her feet to wrap her arms around him.
He quickly returns the embrace, suddenly seventeen again. When the two pull back, Bradley doesn’t hesitate to pull Bob in next, more surprised then he should be when he finds the other doesn’t need to adjust his own height to hug him. Last time he’d seen Bob, he was a boy with gangly angles and on the shorter side. Now, he’s filled out in all the right places, and has grown into himself. From the easy yet confident way he leans back after the two hug, Bradley has a feeling some of those insecurities left him too.
“As much as I would love to continue standing here all day,” he says as he grabs his bags that he had abandoned to greet his friends, “traveling apparently takes a lot out of a person.” The others don’t argue, and Bob grabs one of Bradley’s suitcases himself as he leads the way to the exit. They’re practically out the door when Natasha starts to say, “Oh crap, uh, just so you kn–” only to be cut off by a loud yell.
“BRADSHAW, MAN! WHERE YOU BEEN?”
Just there to his right, standing in front of Bob’s truck, are Payback and Fanboy. The former of whom is cupping his hands around his mouth, obviously the culprit of the unnecessary yelling, while the other waves cheerily. Bradley smiles even bigger than before. While he had known that Mickey and Reuben had also stayed in Langwood, he never would’ve expected them to show up at the airport to pick him up.
The three reach the pair soon enough, and Bradley pulls both into a hug of their own. As they pull away a laugh rips itself out of Bradley. He’s just so happy. It was like it was yesterday that he met these fools, deciding almost subconsciously that they’d be his favorite people.
Bradley wakes up to shouting in his home, his mother knocking on the door and letting herself in.
He drags a hand over his face, taking in the sunlight covering the room from his window. “What time s’it?” he asks groggily, flopping back down on his pillow as his mother sits down on the edge of his bed. If he had been a little more awake, he might have been able to distinguish the voices in his kitchen being more than just his father and Uncle Mav.
Carole smiles, squeezing Bradley’s ankle. “C’mon, Ice will be here soon, remember? All your friends are already here for the surprise.” That gets him up, suddenly registering the voices carrying over from the other room (“ Oh c’mon! Coyote, put it down! ”). He smiles, pushing his covers off him and grabbing a random sweatshirt to throw on.
Uncle Mav’s birthday is tomorrow, and Ice had gotten everyone in on the secret of him surprising his partner. Luckily Bradley’s friends taking over the Bradshaw’s house was nothing new, so Mav so far suspected nothing different. His mother smiles at his sudden change in attitude, and the two of them leave the room together and join the group.
All eight people in the kitchen turn to look at the duo, and Bradley takes them all in. Coyote, one of the taller kids, is holding something over his head. Mav’s arm is still raised slightly, like he was just reaching for whatever it is Javy is holding. Natasha and Jake are sitting at the table, laughing slightly. Payback is leaning on the doorframe that connects the living room and kitchen. Fanboy and Bob are both standing at the counter, like they were helping Goose make breakfast.
Bradley smiles at the scene, and his chest grows warm with the feeling of home and family. He waves them on, and almost instantly Maverick goes back to jumping for the bag above Coyote’s head and Natasha laughs loudly when he almost falls over. Jake stands from his place at the table, walking over to Bradley. He hugs him and places a kiss on his cheek, and Bradley melts into it.
After placing a soft peck on his lips, the two turn so they can face the chaos in the kitchen, with their arms still somewhat around each other. After a minute or so, the energy shifts, the only person unaware being Maverick. He’s still standing on his toes, trying his damn hardest to get that bag.
The Bradshaw’s temporary home is modest, only two levels. When you walk in the front door, there’s a hallway you can head down to the kitchen, or you could take a right to the living room or a left to the stairs and Bradley’s room. From where he’s standing, Maverick’s back is to the front door. Everyone tries to act normal, but Natasha now has her phone up recording Maverick, making it look like she’s capturing him failing to get the bag.
Goose is smiling knowingly, nodding to tell everyone that Ice is here. Carole’s own phone is recording, and everyone is staring at the door in anticipation. It opens, but luckily isn’t loud enough to catch Mav’s attention. Ice has a soft smile on his face, a rare look to catch on the older man. He’s only got eyes for Maverick, and Bradley can’t help the smile that pulls at his lips. Fortunately, everyone else is facing the same fate.
As the blue-eyed man sets his bag down in the hallway and comes to stand in the opening of the kitchen, Javy smirks. Carefully, he flicks his wrist, sending the bag flying. Right into Ice’s hands. “Coyote!” Maverick yells, obviously a little exasperated. “It was funny for the first few minutes sure, but I swear –”
The shorter man stops as he turns to see where the bag landed, jaw dropping when he sees Iceman standing there. Ice smirks, setting the bag on the counter. “Well, hey there, Mitchell.”
“Asshole!”
While Maverick curses the man loudly, he doesn’t hesitate to jump in Ice’s arms. Everyone laughs, and there’s a few wet chuckles that no one goes out of their way to call out.
In the warm glow of the kitchen on some random Tuesday, surrounded by these people, holding the boy he loves, Bradley is happier than he’s ever been.
As he takes them all in, Fanboy clasps a strong hand around his forearm. Bradley freezes as he looks down at the hand, almost certain he felt…
“You asshole!” He shouts, pushing Payback and simultaneously grabbing him for a hug. “You proposed and no one wanted to tell me?” They’re all laughing now, and Bradley reaches over to grab Fanboy once again. “Guys! Congratulations!”
Payback smirks, wrapping an arm around Fanboy and pulling him to his side. “Thank you. If it’s any consolation, we insisted on putting the wedding off until you were back.” He smiles again, sure his cheeks are going to start hurting again. They very well could’ve gotten married already, had him fly in and out for it, but instead they decided to wait until Bradley was home. It meant more than he could ever express.
As Bradley peppers everyone with questions, they all pile themselves into Bob’s truck for the drive into town. Bob looks at Bradley through the rearview as the conversation dwindles down. “We promised Javy we’d stop by the bar. He wanted to join us in getting you, but he couldn’t get out of work.”
His heart clenches a little at that one, because Bradley didn’t deserve the friends he had. Almost simultaneously to Bradley trying to let Jake go, he’d started to let his friendship with Coyote go too. He’d never been as close with the other man like Jake had been, and for some reason when the two finally stopped talking for good it felt like a line was being drawn, and sides had to be picked.
He’d of course been proven wrong when Javy continued to text him and such, just as the others did. It makes him hope the others did the same with Jake. He had never wanted that line in the sand to be drawn, ever. In a perfect world, Jake would be the one picking him up from the airport today, the two would still talk every day, and Bradley definitely wouldn’t still be pining over a man who picked up and moved his life away. Hell, he’d probably also have a ring in his pocket to put on Jake’s finger by now if everything was the way he wanted it to be.
Shaking his head, he tries to focus on the positives in front of him. He had his friends back, and he was about to start the job he’d been working towards for the last four years in the school all his friends graduated from.
The rest of the car ride was spent trying to get everyone caught up on little things. While no major event ever occurred without someone telling at least one of them, and everyone else finding out by association, there were still the tiny stories you forgot about until right then. As Bob pulled the truck into the parking lot of a bar called The Hideaway Bradley was laughing obnoxiously at a story Payback had just gotten through telling him.
Quickly, everyone jumps out of the truck, scrambling to unclip their seatbelts and open the doors. It was a nice hole-in-the-wall kind of place and was decently busy for 6 o’clock on a Thursday. As Bradley dug through his pockets for his ID, he didn’t notice the looks his friends were now passing between themselves. They all clamber into the bar after flashing the bouncer their IDs, and Bradley takes the new setting in.
It’s a rustic themed place, really embracing its Texas roots. His friends all flank the bar space, and he hears the one of the two missing from their little group reunion speak loudly. “Back up! Back up , you heathens! I see all of you every day! Where is the man of the hour?”
Bradley positively grins, and he approaches behind them, none the wiser of the somewhat worried energy bouncing between the group. He makes it into the inside of their circle just as Coyote is pushing up the part of the counter that marks the entrance to behind the bar. He spots Bradley almost immediately, and chuckles as he throws his arms around him. “Bradley! It’s so good to see you, man.”
He doesn’t hesitate to return the sentiment, “You too, Javy. How’ve you been?”
The two pull back, and Javy waves them over to a booth. Everyone quickly settles in, Natasha, Bob, and Bradley on one side, and Fanboy and Payback on the other. Coyote pulls up a chair and straddles it from behind, resting his chin on his arms where they settle on the top of it. “God, I can’t talk long before Penny chews me out, but it really is damn good to see you.” He claps a hand on Bradley’s shoulder and his smile gets a little softer. “How is everyone?”
Everyone is nodding along with Coyote, like they don’t all still also talk to his parents and godfathers. Bradley does his best not to blush, but it’s even more difficult when he thinks about the fact that his friends learned so much of him that many others never will, and they didn’t just throw it away when he left.
He shrugs good naturally and takes them all in one more time as he answers. “They’re good, you know that. Mav’s still giving everyone gray hairs, Mom and Dad are leaving for vacation soon now that I’m officially out of their hair, all of which you all know.”
They all laugh, and the sound is something so perfect Bradley wishes he could bottle it up and save it for every day to come. Natahsa knocks a shoulder with his, and the two across from him demand a round of shots from Javy— To celebrate your return, BradBrad! —like it’s not only six. It hits him suddenly in that moment, just how young they really all are. Fresh out of college, Bradley himself is only 22. But he feels so much older, feels like he’s known these guys for decades on end at the point. Payback smiles at him, and his eyes flicker to the ring on Fanboy’s hand once again, really thinking about how much their lives have changed while still standing almost completely still. Mickey opens his mouth like he’s about to say something, but almost immediately after he closes it. In time, a hush falls over the table that wasn’t there before. Bradley doesn’t get the chance to ask what's wrong before he knows .
“What’s this? We all decided to hangout, and no one wanted to give me an invite? I thought we were friends, guys. C’mon. Oh, I see, I’ve been replaced.” It’s said with a chuckle, so obviously the voice knows that’s nothing like what is actually happening at the table.
No one says anything for a few minutes, all collectively looking like deer in headlights as Bradley scans them. Almost like its slow motion, Bradley turns to face the newcomer. He isn’t entirely sure what he expects to meet when he does. Knows the voice like the back of his hand, knows who it used to belong to, years ago. What he’s met with is a mix of his dreams and nightmares.
Fuck. His heart stops.
His dreams, because he’s here. He’s here in Bradley’s immediate eyeline and reach. He’s positively radiant. Glowing. The golden sun spills in through the window and washes him in hues not unlike those of a fire ages ago. His hair is still the same golden blond Bradley remembers it as, once again, a halo on his perfect head. He’s filled out much more than he was when they were teenagers. His short sleeve shirt, that reads Langwood Fire, looks sinfully tight on his biceps. And his eyes, Jesus those eyes, are the same vibrant green, lit with glee and carefree bliss.
His nightmares, because he looks happy. Happy like he doesn't regret for one second leaving Bradley behind.
Bradley wants to laugh. Bradley wants to cry.
More than anything, he wants to hug him. Wants to call him Angel and have Jake smile that little smile he only does when Bradley calls him that. Wants him to kiss him like it’s nothing and they’re still who they used to be.
But they’re not, and the look on Jake’s face is enough to make him remember that forever.
His smile drops like a bucket of ice water was dumped on him, and he takes a step back. He looks guilty and downright horrified, and it confirms all of Bradley’s worst thoughts. He shouldn’t be here, while Jake hadn’t left, he has definitely moved on more than Bradley ever did. Got over his short summer fling moments after it happened, and now, because Bradley’s a sucker who wanted more than he deserved, Jake has to be faced every day with a pathetic excuse of someone who couldn’t let go. He has to feel guilty even though he did nothing wrong. There’s definitely clear heartbreak on his face, and Jake is burdened with knowing he broke poor little Bradley’s heart because he did what the other never could. Moved on. Lived his life.
Coyote reaches out like he’s going to stabilize him, but the other man flinches away from the hand, eyes never leaving Bradley’s. It’s like the entire bar has fallen silent, watching on in horror as Jake takes another step away from them, away from Bradley, shaking his head and mumbling something no one can catch.
He spins on his heel then, walking past other patrons, all staring at the group in the booth like they might hold some answers. Someone says something next to him, but he doesn’t quite catch it as he watches Jake’s retreating figure exit out of what he can assume is the back.
Bob clears his throat, and Bradley finally spins his neck back around to look at his friends. They all look different versions of sheepish and worried, and Bradley wonders how much of his face is crumpled.
“In our defense,” Natasha starts, “We pictured that going a lot differently.”
He can’t even bring himself to be surprised about the fact that his friends planned for Jake to be here at the same time as Bradley would be, knowing they all did it with the best intentions and hopes.
He doesn’t know what to say for a few moments, the back of his eyelids still branded with the image of Jake smiling and laughing just a mere few moments ago. It unlocks a floodgate of feelings he had tried so long to let go of, knocking him off kilter.
Finally, he laughs somewhat bitterly and shrugs. He looks down at the table, absentmindedly picking at the polish peeling off the table. “I don’t know what you guys were expecting then. Jake and I, there’s nothing left there. At least not to him, and I don’t want to make his life worse than it already is. He doesn’t deserve that.”
There’s a hand landing on his own now, and Bradley looks up at Natasha slowly. There’s a range of emotions passing over her face, the most prominent being disbelief and pity. “You’re kiddin’, right?” It’s obviously a rhetorical question, so Bradley doesn’t dignify it with a response.
Everyone at the table is looking at him like he’s grown two heads suddenly, and he tries to ignore it, so he doesn’t end up shrinking almost completely into himself. “What?” he demands, suddenly a lot more self-conscious than he was a second ago. They all just continue to stare at him, until finally, Fanboy starts laughing.
For some reason, this sets the rest of the table off, and they crack up along with him. Bradley scowls and looks around to make sure there isn’t some hidden camera set up to capture all his misery in 4k. Finally, Bob stops long enough to take some deep breaths, face becoming eerily serious again as he looks at the confused brunette. “Bradley, Jake hasn’t moved on. Hell, you can ask anyone in this town.” It’s said with such conviction, everyone else at the table finally sober up enough to look at him again. They’re all nodding, and Bradley still isn’t completely positive this isn’t some big joke.
“Honestly, a lot of the town has tried to get him to move on. I can’t count the number of PTA moms or baristas who have tried to give him their number.” Payback agrees.
“Don’t forget that lacrosse coach at the high school.” Fanboy adds, putting the hand with his ring on Reuben’s arm. “He’s a determined man.” (Bradley does not bristle at the idea of someone he has to work with in the near future hitting on Jake.)
“Okay, just stop,” He shakes his head, trying to wrap his head around what they’re all saying. But it’s a little hard to believe them when they’re all still smiling at him like his insides aren’t tangling in knots and his heart isn’t trying to run for the door, he saw Jake exit out of. “This isn’t funny, and I really am not in the mood to play games anymore. Jake left me behind, not the other way around. Of course, he moved on, there was no reason for him not to.”
They’re not laughing anymore. “Bradshaw.” It’s Javy this time who covers his hand with his own. His face is set in a hard expression, and Bradley is suddenly worried he’s going to leave here with one less finger than he came in with. “Listen to me. Jake left you behind because he’s stupid. And I say that with love, because he is my best friend. But that boy was scared as hell, and still is. He had the best thing of his life in his hands, and he was almost positive he was gonna ruin it. You met his father; he never really did have the best examples of love growing up. He didn’t want to do it wrong with you, wanted to give you the chance to go and find someone who you could give you everything.”
There are tears in his eyes he can’t blink back no matter how much he tries. “But he is everything,” he whispers.
“He doesn’t believe that, probably won't for a long time. To him, you got out and made something for yourself, and he was stuck in a town that looked down on him until he was 18.”
He shakes his head again, “No, no, no. Doesn’t he get it? I was half-lit before I met him. He brought light to me I didn’t even know I was missing yet. I’ve been a mess living without it.”
Bradley watches as Coyote works his jaw, debating what he’s going to say next. “You brought a fire in his life he thought he was going to burn you both to the ground with. But it’s not gone, never dwindled, as much as he wanted to try to convince us all it did. Brad,” God, why does he sound so sad? “Jake hasn’t been with anyone since that summer.”
For some reason, that’s all the push he needs, because he’s pulling himself out of the booth in the next second. If there’s a chance, any chance at all, that he can get his Angel back, he’ll be damned if doesn’t take it. He’s almost past the bar when he turns around and goes back to his friends, painfully aware that he doesn’t know where he should be heading at this moment. And that hurts, of course it does, he doesn’t even know if Jake still lives on the ranch or if he moved.
Bob speaks before he even opens his mouth to ask. “Take the back exit, my bet is he’s hanging around.”
He’s turning around again. “I could kiss you, Bob!”
“Nu-uh! Save it for Jake, Bradshaw!”
Bob is, of course, correct. Just as soon as he steps outside, he meets with Jake’s back. The other has both his arms resting on a broken-down fence only a few feet away from the exit of the bar. His head is hanging low, and Bradley honestly doesn’t know if he heard him come out here or not. His silent question is answered a few moments later when Jake speaks out into the open air.
“I’m sorry, if I had known, I wouldn’t have come by today.”
And that? That stings like nothing he’s ever known. Makes him rethink everything their friends just told him and what he’s doing out here right now. Makes him wonder if that door locks you out and if he’d have to walk all the way around the strip again just to tell his friends they were wrong before going home.
Yet, he pushes on, hoping at least for some version of closure if nothing else.
“If you had known I was going to be here today, you wouldn’t have come by?”
Jake shakes his head but doesn’t move any more than that. Doesn’t dare look at Bradley. “No, of course not. I don’t want to make anything hard on you, and I know it can’t be easy seeing me after everything.”
Bradley scoffs. “And why do you think that is?”
His tone is harsher than he means for it to be, and he can tell by the way Jake flinches it wasn’t the right thing to say. This really isn’t going the way he hoped it would. “Why else, Bradley? You must despise me, hate me really. I wouldn’t blame you, not after the way I let things go down.”
And he sounds so defeated, his shoulders slumped in like he hopes the ground will just swallow him whole. “Jake, you can’t really think I hate you, can you?”
He shrugs non-committedly, and Bradley wants to shake him. “Jake.” The other doesn’t move, just freezes a little. “Jake, look at me.” He still doesn’t, and Bradley curses him in his head for being so damn stubborn. Instead, he takes the few strides needed to put him at Jake’s side and turns him. He hooks a finger under his chin and forces the younger man to meet his eye. Both take a sharp breath in, and Bradley hates the tear tracks on Jake’s face. Hates himself for not being able to hear it in his voice beforehand. Slowly, he lifts his other hand and delicately cups both sides of Jake’s face with his hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs.
“Baby, I don't hate you. Never could.” Jake doesn’t look like he believes him, but Bradley can still see the slight hope breaking through in his eyes. “It's not in my DNA. Sure, you hurt me in ways I'll never be able to explain,” the blond goes still again, trying and failing to take a step out of Bradley’s grasp. “Fuck, wait just wait . But it's because I love you, and I lost you.”
This time, Jake really does force his way out of Bradley’s grip, twisting so violently Bradley worries for a minute he might have hurt himself. “Jake-” He tries to grab him again, but the other steps back again and again.
“Don’t! God, Bradley, don’t .” There are tears in his eyes again, and the brunette isn’t sure how he’s messing this up so badly. “You don’t get to say that, not after I broke us the way I did. Not after all this time. Not when you deserve better .” There’s venom in his words, but Bradley is almost completely positive, it’s directed at himself.
“Better? Baby, no one’s better than you. No one has ever made me feel the way you do. No one makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes me cry, makes me feel, makes me love , like you do.”
“You keep saying, makes and love, like this is still a present thing, like you still love me.”
Bradley pauses, because he’s just so completely lost. He’s replaying the whole conversation in his head, trying to wrap around where they started and where they are now. Tries to find the perfect way to finish where he wants—no, needs to end. With Jake in his arms, his again and forever. He takes a minute, attempts to formulate the perfect movie-ending, award-winning speech.
(He doesn’t get it.) Instead, he runs with the only thing he knows for certain: the truth.
“I do.” He waits, lets his words sink in before continuing. “I do still love you. Couldn’t not if I tried, and honestly, I tried. Just once or twice. Wanted to move on like I convinced myself you had. But it never worked, because I was always picturing someone else. Someone I was sure I would never get to have again. I had convinced myself you were long gone, you had found someone who could be here with you, and you never thought of me again. I did, I told myself you were over us and that would be okay as long as you were happy. Seeing you again, God, you don’t understand what that did to me, Jake. You were smiling like you didn’t have a care in the world. And it wasn’t okay, I wasn’t okay because you seemed happy without me, and I can’t do that. Can’t be fully happy without you anymore. Not after I found out what being happy with you felt like. And I thi—know. I know that that’s love.”
He takes a deep breath, staring at those deep green eyes and gets lost in them one more time, in case it’s the last time it happens. “I love you, Angel.”
For a second, Bradley thinks using the name was too much, too soon. But only for a second, because in the next, he had Jake in his arms (finally), and there’s lips on his. Too soon, they’re gone again, and Bradley tightens the grip he has on Jake’s hip just a fraction, scared he’s going to try and slip away again.
Thankfully, he stays in the brunette’s space, resting his forehead on his collarbone.
For a minute, neither of them say anything. Bradley knows Jake’s not the best with words, and he doesn’t want to push, and he doesn’t want to take his time by talking first. Then, he feels Jake’s lips ghost over his skin as he says his next words. “I’m not the same person, I love you, but I’m not the same person.”
After everything, Jake is still trying to get him to push him away, blame him for what happened. He knows the blond wants him to blame him for that, is blaming himself. Telling himself words that just weren’t true. ( You’d know that person if I had let you. ) But he doesn’t. Instead, he says, “Neither am I, but I didn’t change enough to not love you with everything I have, and I never will.”
That seems to shut him up.
Jake looks at him then. Clear, unfiltered love and hope in his eyes. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
When they kiss again, it lasts long enough for Bradley to savor it. Only, he doesn’t need to. He’s got plenty more coming for him in the near future, and it’s one of the best facts known to man right about now.
And sure, they’ve got a lot to work through and talk about, neither of them naive enough to believe all their issues and demons were settled with that one talk. But they had time now. Time to relearn each other's bodies, reteach each other the little kirks and tidbits they had missed. All the time in the world, really.
After whom knows how long of the two just standing there, switching between holding each other and trading soft kisses, the back door opens for a third time that night, and Javy sticks his head outside.
“Alright, lovebirds! As much as I’m sure we’re to regret it, the rest of us would actually love it if you joined us.”
The two laugh, and Jake steps out of Bradley's space, taking one hand in his and using the other to point at Javy. "Fine, but only because I have some words for you all." He then proceeds to drag Bradley instead with him, and the brunette seems some of that fire Jake has been missing during their conversation.
(They do in fact come to regret it.
“Jake, dude! Stop looking at Brad for five seconds and play the game!”)
Yeah, they were going to be okay.