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Jisung from a few years ago would laugh in your face if you told him he’d be in the bathroom together with Hwang Hyunjin, shoulders brushing, with a comfortable silence upon them as they remove make up and wash their faces together after a long day of schedules. He would not believe you if you told him that he actually pushes his face right in Hyunjin’s space right after, cage the pretty boy between the sink and himself, pucker up his lips exaggeratedly before saying, “Jagi, goodnight kiss!” and dramatically clutching his chest in pain with a loud groan when Hyunjin laughs and smacks his face.
Additionally, above all, 18 year old Jisung would be in utter shock to find out he has a big fat crush on his enemy-turned-best friend.
Jisung likes to think him and Hyunjin weren’t as violent as everyone else made out to be. Sure, they fought, they were petty but above all they made effort to avoid each other to avoid conflict. But as life goes, they were put into one group and it did more harm than good at the time. If he could turn back time, Jisung wishes he would have taken time to at least try and talk to Hyunjin sooner so he’d have more pleasant memories of them together instead of stinging flashbacks of sharp words intended to hurt each other and begrudging acceptance to work together. He supposes they’re making up for the time lost now.
“Shower first, jagi, I’m gonna take a bath later and relax.” Jisung broke out of his nostalgic reverie as Hyunjin spoke up, damp hair on his forehead and and a white robe tugged on in haste. “mmkay, good night baby.” Jisung thinks he looks adorable as he throws his head back to laugh loudly and skip away to his room, probably going to paint for a bit while Jisung showers. He’s going to get that boy to kiss him one day, if that’s the last thing he does.
He doesn’t remember when exactly he developed this crush on Hyunjin. Maybe it was when he cried as they made up for the first time, fresh into their career, anxiety-filled and stressed as they ironically bonded over their conflicts. Maybe it was when he found out how much Hyunjin loves his music specifically, giving him the confidence to keep making music. Maybe it was just one of those mornings when he went to wake him up and stared at his plump lips and sharp jawline a little too long to be platonic. Liking Hyunjin came naturally to Jisung. There wasn’t a classic italic oh moment for him. He just slowly accepted that maybe thinking he wants a kiss from his best friend every time he looks in his direction is called a crush.
He sometimes wonders if Hyunjin notices that his theatrical advances are half truths, if Hyunjin’s ignoring it so he wouldn’t have to hurt Jisung with a rejection. Regardless, Jisung was content where he is, he gets to see his dream boy everyday and is gifted with his friendship. Now. if only he could get a kiss-
-
Minho’s laugh tinkled through the whole waiting room as Jisung sat next to him flushed down to his neck.
“Are you serious, you really didn’t notice?,” Minho got out through this laughter.
“No, how was I supposed to know, hyung” Jisung laid flat, face first on the couch, muffling his embarassed scream.
Okay, to be fair, he really didn’t know.
What happened is this: Jisung declared he found his absolute ideal type in a webtoon he was reading online and had gracefully shared it with his trusted hyung whom enjoys cute boys and webtoons as much as he does with good intentions. What he did not expect was for Minho to start laughing and say “so Hyunjinnie?” in his face.
To be fair, Jisung really did not realize the character looks exactly like Hyunjin.
“I knew you had a crush on him but damn, Sungie, Howl and now this character, you have a clear type. How do you survive seeing Hyunjinnie everyday? That’s your entire wet dream next door.”
Record scratch. What.
“You know I have a crush on him?” Jisung whisper shouted as he looked around with wide eyes to make sure no one was listening in on them. Hyunjin was filming an interview elsewhere so he wasn’t worried about that but he was still conscious about people hearing about his very gay feelings out in public. Thankfully, the room was mostly busy in preparations for their pre-recording and everyone that wasn’t working were catching up on sleep.
“Doesn’t everyone know that?” Minho raised one eyebrow as he stared back into Jisung’s concerned eyebrows cruched together.
“No? I don’t think.. I’ve never said anything though?” He really hasn’t, his crush has been his own internal revelation that he hasn’t told anyone seriously out loud in fear that it would become too.. LReal.
“Sung, you’re trying to kiss him every other second you see the guy.” Minho’s deadpanned face did not help the growing concern in Jisung’s mind.
“But that’s.. Do you think he knows too?” Hyunjin can’t know. That would be too cruel to his poor soul.
“Nah, you could confess your very gay love to him, get down on one knee and propose him with a ring and he’d laugh like it’s the funniest joke.” Minho patted his head before he left to get his make up done.
Jisung knew he should be relieved but he couldn’t help the slight sting that came from Minho’s words. He can’t be hurt Hyunjin would never take him seriously when he chose to express his feelings jokingly, in fear of a proper confession ruining their friendship.
All his concerns flew out of the window as Hyunjin trudged back into the waiting room and laid right on top of Jisung, chin on his shoulder and said, “I’m so tired.” It’s amazing how much his presence lifts Jisung’s spirits, even when he is the stressor at the time.
”Yah Hwang Hyunjin, am I your bed?” He thinks Hyunjin looks beautiful when he lifted his head up to stare into his eyes and say, “Yes, problem?”
“Kiss me and I’ll let you sleep on me,” Jisung cheekily replied as he wrapped his hands around Hyunjin’s waist and wiggled his eyebrows.
Hyunjin smacked his chest with a laugh and got up to retrieve a mat so he can properly get a nap before they have to get on stage.
Damnit, he almost had it all.
—
Some days, Jisung likes to think Hyunjin feels the same way as him, no, he feels it. His gaze lingering on Jisung as he explains his vision for a song he’s working on and how he’s excited to use snippets of lyrics he wrote ages ago in his notes app. His big hands fiddling with Jisung’s own, legs tangled together. It was 2 A.M and they were huddled up together under blankets on Jisung’s bed because they both couldn’t sleep. They did this sometimes, mostly when both of them were still wired on the high of meeting fans and it felt too jarring and empty to come home to a lonely bed where it’s void of excitement and thoughts screamed too loud. They seeked comfort in one another as they talked about everything and anything.
That night was the same as usual. Hyunjin shuffled into Jisung’s room after they got back from an event and crawled under his blankets wordlessly. “Can’t sleep?”, Jisung had said as he shuffled to make room for him. “Mmhm. Talk to me, about anything,” Hyunjin replied with a small nod.
And that’s how Jisung got around to talking about everything and anything under the stars. They both clicked in a way he never did with anyone else despite their differences and Jisung sometimes allowed himself to think maybe they’re two puzzle pieces, made inherently different but complementing one another in a way only they can.
Hyunjin’s gaze was intent as Jisung went on to tell him how he had once got an inspiration for a verse while he was in the bathroom, wrote a whole rap verse with his pants down and how Changbin had said, “Jisung pooped that verse out of his ass, literally,” when he returned to the studio. Hyunjin’s giggles felt like little tinkling melodies in his ears. It was always so easy to make him laugh. He recalls Hyunjin saying he doesn’t need to make Hyunjin laugh at the expense of him and while he is more than touched, he thinks, he could never stop doing it, addicted on seeing the boy relax with an amused twinkle in his eyes as he smiles.
He truly meant it when he wrote “Smile, you’re the prettiest when you do.”
Laughter died down as Jisung turned to Hyunjin’s side and sleepily stared at him with a smile. Hyunjin returned the smile and gazed back wordlessly with a hesitant look in his eyes like he’s contemplating.
“What is it?” Jisung didn’t know why he was whispering but in the safety of the darkness with only the moonlight through the window shining upon them, it felt right.
“What?” Hyunjin must feel the same way because he whispered right back. Jisung chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Hyunjin’s waist and stared up into his eyes.
“You look like you have something to say, jagi.”
Hyunjin brought his hands up to brush Jisung’s fringes away from his eyes, fingers tracing his jaw, ending it with a boop on his nose.
“What was that for!”
“Can I not boop you?” Hyunjin asked increduously with a small laugh.
“You didn’t ask!” Jisung said, attempting to maintain a straight face. He felt light and giddy as if he doesn’t have to wake up in less than 3 hours.
“Will you say yes if I ask?” Somehow even with a light smile still on Hyunjin’s face, he could see Hyunjin was still nervous. He didn’t know what Hyunjin was nervous about but he didn’t like to see him troubled.
“Yeap! You can boop me whenever if you ask-” Jisung replied enthusiastically, trying to get Hyunjin to laugh freely the way he did moments ago again when Hyunjin cut him off with “Can I kiss you?”.
Jisung was stunned into silence. There is no way Hyunjin just said that. He stared at him with his mouth open as he sputtered out a “What?”
“It’s okay if you don’t, I just wanted to ask because I felt like you felt the same way but it’s okay if you don’t and I was just reading the signals wrong, that’s totally fine. In fact, forget I said that, okay? Don’t feel bad-” Hyunjin rambled on nervously like he never has before.
Jisung’s brain turned back on when he finally processed what’s happening.
“What? No.”
“Yeah I understand that it’s a no, that’s alright-”
”Hyunjin, I meant no to forgetting can you please kiss me now? I’ve been waiting so long for this, it’d be so cruel if you took my one true dream away.”
Hyunjin laughed exasperatedly as he asked, “Really?”, which was ridiculous because he’s been asking for a kiss everyday.
He nodded excitedly, swallowing down his nerves as he glanced down at Hyunjin’s lips and whispered “Kiss me, please?” He was not above begging, clearly.
He could feel Hyunjin still smiling as he finally kissed him, cradling his head behind him and caging him in his arms. Jisung didn’t know if he felt fireworks like they say in movies but he was sure he’s never felt more loved than he does now as Hyunjin pulled away to gaze at him lovingly only to kiss him again right away like he couldn’t stand to be away from Jisung’s lips for too long.
Jisung wasn’t sure where they stood and what this meant for them entirely but as they kissed lazily until they fell asleep that night, he felt love for the first time.