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“Hey, Liara.” Shepard greeted casually as she walked into Liara's quarters on the Normandy.
Until recently, the couple had fallen into the habit of breaking away from the task at hand to give each other their full attention. It was a tendency they'd developed during their time aboard the SR-1 together as they tracked down Saren. As their friendship blossomed into an exciting new romance, they had wanted to spend as much time as they could fully present in each other's company as the pursued the rogue turian Spectre. Although their relationship was no longer new and a lot had changed since then, it had felt easy and natural to slip back into their familiar old routine.
Recently, however, Shepard was finding Liara increasingly engaged with her Shadow Broker duties: eyes glued to her monitors, so focussed on her work that she often wouldn't realise that Shepard had approached her. A cold, half empty cup of coffee was perched on her desk and Shepard suspected it was the very same one she'd watched Liara sluggishly order yesterday.
It took Glyph physically looming around Liara's head to alert her of the Commander's presence.
“I'm sorry, Shepard.” Liara sighed, still partially glancing at the screen in front of her. “Whenever I think I'm close to a breakthrough with finding something that can help us against the Reapers, I just run into more problems than there were before. There's just not enough time to stay on top of it all and remain attuned to my surroundings.”
Shepard considered her options. She could go down the same ineffective route of trying to persuade Liara that breaks were necessary for her health, or she could try a different approach, one that may succeed at getting Liara to step away from her monitors and even allow them to spend a little quality time together. It would have to be something Liara considered a priority over her current workload. Shepard thought for a moment and then an idea hit her.
“I could use your help with something.”
That caught Liara's attention. She tore her eyes away from her screen, turning to face Shepard directly. “What do you need?”
“I need somebody to join me on the Citadel to help deliver those schematics we picked up while we were in the Silean Nebula.” Shepard began. Before Liara could voice her skepticism, the Commander continued, “I know any member of the crew could help me with this, but considering you seemed to understand the data better than the rest of us when you glanced over it, I figured you would be the most suitable person to help me pick out a good candidate to pass this data along to.”
Liara was smart, she was bound to see this for the weak excuse that it was to get her off the ship. The question was whether Liara would decide to go along with the ruse.
Liara eyed Shepard, who was doing her utmost to look casual as she waited for a response.
“I could deliver the schematics to any research base in the galaxy from where I'm standing right now.” Liara pointed out. It wasn't an outright refusal, at least. Shepard took that as a good sign.
“It's true, you could do that.” Shepard acknowledged, “But it looks like you've already got enough to contend with here as the Shadow Broker. You don't need another task to add to the workload.”
A compelling argument. Time to lay the rest out on the table. “We'll be arriving at the Citadel soon, which means you can finish up whatever you need to here before we board the station if you decide to join me. I think the schematics should go to somebody specifically on the Citadel because from what we were able to gather, the intended eventual recipients of this data appears to be the Council itself.”
“Those scientists did appear to be doing important research.” Liara agreed. “If it's so important that the Council is interested in it, then perhaps the safest place for it to be is on the Citadel.”
Liara paused, as if running through a series of valid counterarguments in her head, searching for a persuasive line of logic to justify remaining on the ship to continue her work. Shepard knew that under ordinary circumstances, Liara would be more willing to go along with the request. It was her sense of duty as the most powerful information wielder in the galaxy that compelled her to push herself to the limit.
Something in Liara's expression softened.
“Very well, I'll come with you.”
Shepard almost couldn't believe her ears. The plan had actually worked!
The relief she felt must've shown on her face, because Liara smirked as she said, “Don't get too carried away, Commander. I can't make a habit of this, but seeing as these schematics are such a valuable asset to the war effort, I will set aside some time to join you on your mission.”
The amusement in Liara's voice was apparent. Shepard couldn't help but grin in triumph as she left the room, remembering to grab the neglected cup of coffee as she went.
She would buy Liara a far better coffee on the Citadel.
* * *
True to her word, Shepard bought Liara a cup of coffee when they arrived on the Citadel. A luxury brand, she'd insisted, not the cheap kind they get from the coffee machine aboard the ship.
Liara was visibly more relaxed than she'd been when they spoke in her office. It was clear that under the guise of being a delivery mission, they were both using the outing as an excuse to take a breather together. The simulated blue sky of the Presidium was a breath of fresh air, as was the sight of people milling about, strolling along the lake, going about their lives as though there were no such thing as the ongoing galactic war. If they stayed here long enough, it would be easy to forget that the Reapers existed at all.
“I think our best strategy is to stroll around until we overhear someone who needs the schematics.” Shepard suggested as though this was just standard procedure for her. Which really, it was.
“I can't understand how that actually works for you.” Liara replied, equal parts exasperation and amusement in her tone, “Finding the right people to allocate resources to can feel like a never-ending task at times. Yet you step off the ship, conveniently stumble across the people who are searching for exactly what you have to give them and then you carry on your way to help the next person.”
“Hey, call it the Shepard Intuition.” Shepard grinned. “Really though, sometimes it happens accidentally and other times it's because I purposefully go looking. There are times when we come across a valuable thing on a mission that I remember someone mentioning would be helpful to the war effort, so I do my best to track them down and give them what they need. It's usually pretty easy because people like to hang out in the same spots.”
“And here I thought I would have it easiest with the wealth of resources I hold at my fingertips. Perhaps I could delegate some of my duties to you in order to save me the trouble of scouring my networks so frequently. As long as you don't mind completing the lengthy paperwork that comes with becoming a Broker agent, of course.” Liara teased.
“Hah! You'd have better luck hiring someone who can focus on filling out a form for more than two minutes before needing to let off steam. Best to let me stick to shooting Cerberus goons on the battlefield.” Shepard smirked, “Not that I wouldn't enjoy working under you. That would be the opposite of a problem, really.”
Liara's expression mirrored Shepard's, and the Commander was pleased to see the steady return of some of the banter that had felt distant in their relationship lately. It was a positive sign that they were still themselves beneath the layers of stress brought on by the war.
“Forget the paperwork, then. After we defeat the Reapers, I'll let you work under me as much as you want.” Liara decided with a wry smile.
Minutes passed as they continued to stroll around hand in hand on the Presidium. It was refreshing to talk about a variety of light topics rather than the horrors of the Reaper war. Shepard listened with affection as Liara talked about the delicious flavour of her coffee and made a mental note to surprise her with it again when the war was over.
They made themselves comfortable at a picnic table overlooking the lake.
“What changed your mind?” Shepard asked after a few moments of peaceful quiet.
“I'm sorry?”
“When we were on the Normandy and I asked you to join me on the Citadel, I thought you were gonna say 'no.'” Shepard explained, “But then you got this look on your face and agreed to come along.”
Liara smiled. “Can't I agree to spend time with my wonderful girlfriend simply because I want to?”
Shepard admittedly felt a spark of joy at those words, but she also knew that Liara had stepped around giving a proper answer.
Just as Shepard opened her mouth to speak, Liara continued, “I know; this isn't a date, this is a delivery mission for the sake of the war effort. Except we both know it isn't really about just that.”
Shepard quirked an eyebrow. She supposed she should've expected Liara to call out the ruse even as she went along with it. “That's true, but that doesn't answer my question.”
The corners of Liara's lips curled into a slight smile. She greatly admired Shepard's determination, but in this situation it meant there was no getting out of explaining herself.
“Very well. One reason is what we discussed on the Normandy. These schematics deserve to be passed along to the right hands and as you mentioned, I am likely the most qualified person aboard the ship to assist you with that.” A brief pause. “I was also being genuine a moment ago when I mentioned that I wanted us to spend time together. I've very much wanted that for a while now, but I worry about all the bad things that could – will – happen if I don't drive myself to aid as many people suffering as possible.”
This wasn't new information but Shepard was glad to see Liara speaking freely about the pressure she was under. She gave her an encouraging smile to continue.
“Goddess, I knew acting as the galaxy's most powerful information broker during this war would be challenging, but no amount of knowledge could have prepared me for just how terrible this entire experience would be.” Liara sighed, “I've been working almost non-stop for the past several weeks. I know that I also have to look after my well-being, but how can I justify neglecting people who need my help because I feel tired?”
“Well, think of it this way. It'll be a lot harder for the Shadow Broker to save the galaxy when she's passed out from exhaustion.” Shepard replied casually. Fortunately they're enough out of earshot of surrounding bypassers that she can mention the Broker's identity without being overheard.
“As you've said before.” Liara recalled similar conversations they'd had recently. While stuck inside her office she'd been less willing to talk about this openly, instead opting to continue pushing through her work rather than address the issue fully, but now that she was away from the source of her stress and enjoying the peace of the environment around her, she was feeling better able to really contemplate Shepard's words.
She continued thoughtfully, “I suppose you're right. It wouldn't do for one of my agents to go dark because they've worked themselves unconscious. And to be honest,” a quick scan of the area confirmed nobody was loitering nearby, “as much as I enjoy my work under ordinary circumstances, a large part of myself has been wanting to get away from being the Shadow Broker for a while, just to relax and unwind from the heavy stress that naturally comes with the job.”
“During wartime, no less.” Shepard added.
A lightbulb switched on in Liara's head. “Perhaps if I feel as though I'm still being useful to the war effort while taking a break from my duties, I could allow myself to step away a little more often.”
“I could always use the help when I'm handing out the goods we find on our missions. I enjoy doing it, but it would be less time consuming to have an extra pair of eyes and ears, so to speak. Really, you'd be doing me a personal favour as well as helping the war effort.” Shepard said, catching on to what Liara was likely suggesting.
Liara flashed an appreciative smile. “It would be... what is that phrase you humans say? A 'win-win situation'? It feels good to stretch my legs in a safe environment, not just when we are out on missions, and I can still feel useful even during the 'downtime' that being on the Citadel provides. We can personally see to it that civilians here receive the aid they need and we get to spend time together in the process.”
The Commander returned a warm expression of her own. “Just let me know before we dock when you'd like to come along. I'm here doing this often enough.”
Neither decided to mention that technically all they'd done so far was buy coffee and leisurely stroll to the park. There was a silent agreement floating in the air; an unspoken desire to last this pleasant experience out for as long as they reasonably could before having to return to the ship.
“There's another reason why I agreed to join you.” Liara announced suddenly.
“Oh?”
Liara paused for a moment, considering her words. “I'm as concerned for you as you are for me. I can see how exhausted you are despite the strong front you put up for the sake of the galaxy as we fight this war. It's hard to imagine how drained you must feel with seemingly every person of every species relying on you to save them.”
“I mean, uh,” Shepard elegantly stammered, surprised by the unexpected mention of her own less than fantastic well-being, “It's not just me they're relying on, y'know. They're looking to all of us; the Normandy, the Alliance, all the people building the Crucible right now as we speak.”
“Yes, but you are the spearhead who is guiding us to victory. Yet you still find time to prioritise checking in on everybody aboard the ship to ensure we take care of ourselves. If anybody deserves to have a rest for a while, it's you, Shepard.”
Shepard couldn't help but feel a warmth in her chest as she gazed at Liara's earnest expression. She was so used to pushing her own high stress into the depths of her mind that it hadn't occurred to her that this could be one of reasons why Liara would agree to come along. It amazed Shepard how her girlfriend was able to understand her on a personal level even when she hadn't voiced her worries, and knew her well enough to know how to subtly raise her spirits.
“You don't have to tell me that you are exhausted for me to know.” Liara said as though reading her mind, “You have the same tired look in your eyes that I see among the whole crew, myself included. The only difference is that you rarely allow yourself the same permission to relax that you grant everybody else.”
“Yeah, you got me.” Shepard chuckled. There was no need to deny such a spot-on assessment. “I'd argue that getting out on the Citadel is usually a good source of relaxation, though. I get to walk around in the open without being fired at and the most stressful situations I find myself in are when I'm dealing with bureaucracy. It's like I'm on holiday when I'm here.”
“So if I understand correctly, this a delivery mission, a date and a vacation all at once?” Liara smirked.
“Hey, I never explicitly said this was a date! If you want to think of it that way, that's your business.” Shepard responded with her best mock-seriousness, but her barely concealed laughter gave away her true amusement.
“Honestly though,” the Commander continued, her voice shifting into something more sincere, “although my main reason for pulling you away from your work was so you could catch a breather, there's part of me that's wanted to share this experience with you for a while. It's like a part of myself that I've had to bury as we face the Reapers gets to resurface for air.”
It was the truth, Liara concluded, as she studied Shepard's casual posture. The stress usually visible on her features hadn't vanished, but they were less present, and her body was less tense than she'd grown accustomed to over the past several weeks. Liara realised that she felt a similar way; without the stress she'd been under hanging heavily over her head, a part of her that had grown distant in the chaos was beginning to make itself known again. Liara realised she hadn't felt this light since the days when they were hunting Saren.
“I expect you see me the way I'm currently seeing you, then. I haven't experienced this freedom to feel like myself and be present in my surroundings since long before the war.”
The pair exchanged a loving glance before turning towards the Presidium, both doing their utmost to cast aside any lingering anxiety as they paid attention to their environment. The gentle murmur of voices drifting across the park were distant, but close enough to make out the light-hearted nature of people's conversations with their loved ones. A few children – turian, human, asari – were scattered around, laughing as they played on the greenery near the lake.
The sight served as a reminder of everything they were fighting to save. The war hadn't yet reached this place, and if they defeat the Reapers in time, it never would. A slight breeze from the Presidium's artificial wind graced their skin. It was amazing, the delicate scene laid out before them. A dozen people living in their own worlds, intricate and fearful and hopeful and deserving of protection. How easy it would be for the Reapers to tear through and snuff it all out in an instant.
Shepard was hit with a wave of determination at the thought. She turned to face Liara and was surprised to find the same fierce look of resolve in her girlfriend's eyes.
“We'll save them, Shepard.”
They were doing their best, but that was a small reassurance when the consequence of failure was total galactic extinction. Shepard tried not to think about every person across the galaxy just like the people here today that had already died due to the Reapers, instead turning her focus to what she could continue doing moving forward to save even more lives from the same grim fate.
“Hey, this is nice.” Shepard eventually said, gesturing to the tranquil scene around them, “It doesn't look like things are going to improve any time soon, but if we create moments for ourselves between the exhaustion and the chaos, we can recharge our strength and remind ourselves of the peace we're fighting to bring back to the galaxy.”
Liara nodded in agreement. “When I seclude myself to my office, it can admittedly feel difficult to remember exactly what purpose I serve beyond trying to cope with the constant flow of data that reaches my terminals. Of course, it's a relief to lose myself in my work, but it's easy to get so bogged down with the endless stream of tasks that I start losing sight of the fact that there's an end goal to all of this. Witnessing this first-hand, it's a good reminder that behind the statistics, the real lives of people are being impacted by our actions.”
“That's understandable.” Shepard smiled reassuringly, “All those numbers you deal with sound mind-numbing enough on their own without also trying to comprehend the sheer amount of lives riding on your ability to make sense of it all.”
The schematics they'd sought to deliver remained safely on the table between them. Liara finished the last of her coffee, placing the cup next to it.
“We'd better actually deliver this, huh.” Shepard sighed reluctantly, eyeing the datapad as though it were some kind of intruder.
“I suppose it's best we do what we came here for.” Liara agreed, unable to hide the trace of disappointment in her voice.
Another breeze passed by as the couple savoured their final few moments of uninterrupted peace. The children had taken to playing a little further away, giving an unimpeded view of the water in the Presidium lake rippling gently as they stood to leave.
They would be back. There was no way they were going to give up easily on the peace they'd found today, even if the Reapers tried to physically pry it from their hands.
* * *
When it became clear that strolling around the Presidium was, while enjoyable, not actually helping them complete their mission, the pair took to the embassies. Finding the right candidate for the schematics didn't take long. As luck would have it, a woman standing next to the elevator as they walked in was having a conversation about the very same subject the schematics were being used to study.
“Who knew it'd be that easy once we got to the human embassy?” Shepard reflected as they walked through the docking bay on their way back to the Normandy.
“If only we'd known where that conveniently placed woman was before we got here. We endured all that casual relaxation on the Presidium for nothing.” Liara quipped with a wry smile.
Shepard smirked, deadpanning, “You're right, I can't imagine a worse fate during this war than drinking coffee in one of the most serene parts the galaxy. We've truly suffered today.”
The absurdity of the idea was enough to get a laugh out of Liara.
“And to think, we could have avoided the hardship by realising sooner that families visiting the lake with their children have no need for the type of scientific data that gets studied in hidden research labs funded by the Council.”
“Very good point, noted.” Shepard tried her best to sound at least mildly professional despite the banter, “But I think it's best that we don't learn from this experience for next time. Just in case we need to, uh, double-check that there are no families that need an ancient family heirloom that can only be found in the Pylos Nebula or something. Even if it means having to subject ourselves to another pleasant afternoon enjoying each other's company.”
At that, Liara turned to make full eye contact with Shepard with a devilish grin on her face. This was the perfect opportunity to bring up the topic that had been burning in her mind since earlier.
“Speaking of haphazardly agreeing to fly out to desolate places in the Terminus System, I noticed you wasted no time in agreeing to that man's request in the turian embassy. All he had to do was mention how much the book meant to his wife before you leapt at the opportunity to help.” Liara said with a hint of both exasperation and affection.
“Well, why not? We'll be heading in that direction anyway.” Shepard replied innocuously. Liara gave her the look, which prompted her to continue, “I didn't agree just because of the sentimental value! The guy said there might be recipes in there that would be easy to make in refugee hubs.”
“Exactly, he said there might be recipes in there. If his wife remembered correctly which book she wrote them in. And the book wasn't destroyed in their home after they evacuated.”
Shepard threw her hands up in mock-surrender. “Alright! You've made your point, but I'm still going to check it out as we pass by. Morale is in high demand right now and if this has the possibility of raising some people's spirits, then we shouldn't ignore it.”
Liara rolled her eyes good-naturedly but didn't respond. She greatly admired her girlfriend's willingness to aid others in need, but the logical part of her mind couldn't deny that one day Shepard's kindness may ultimately cause more trouble than it resolves. She didn't want to think about what would happen if Shepard got seriously injured or worse while running an errand for a stranger halfway across the galaxy. The less logical part within her knew that while Shepard may sometimes go to ridiculous lengths to help people, and while she wished Shepard would prioritise her own well-being more often, she loved the Commander for it and wouldn't want her to give up on this wonderful aspect of who she was.
They overtook a slow-moving keeper that was milling around. Knowing they had a bit of time left before they absolutely had to return to the ship, they decided to lean against the railing and bask in the beautiful view of space from the window. There was no need to hurry back, especially when a few other members of the crew were also yet to return. When they'd spotted Garrus in a long line to buy dextro snacks from a convenience store on their way to the embassies, they'd joked that if he didn't make it back in time they would fly off without him, but it was looking like their friend would be spared abandonment after all.
“I'm glad that I avoided using my network of resources for this.” Liara said, breaking the moment of reflection. “It can be good to see who needs what up close. You can gauge a person's intent in a manner different than you would from behind a screen. It's refreshing after being cramped inside my office for so long.”
Shepard grinned, “You can't beat snooping around the old fashioned way.”
Liara was amused by the actual hint of nostalgia in the Commander's voice. She suspected that Shepard was thinking back over all the times she had 'snooped' on the Citadel – and elsewhere – over the years. Accompanying Shepard today reminded Liara of the times she'd enjoy walking around with her while pursuing Saren back when their relationship had just begun.
Which reminded her.
“Thank you for convincing me to come along on this 'delivery' with you.” Liara smiled warmly, “Perhaps after all of this is over, we can go out on a date without having to preface it with a ruse.”
“Thank you for joining me. I know this wasn't the most romantic day in the world but I think until the Reapers are nothing but a horrible memory, we have to take what we can get. Just being able to spend time with the people we love is what matters.” Shepard sighed wistfully. “After we win, I'll take you out on the fanciest date you can think of. Five star restaurant on Bekenstein, a boat ride through the Presidium at midnight, a candle lit dinner, you name it. It'll be about more than just our victory, it'll be about celebrating getting to spend every day together in peace, living however we please without the threat of extinction hanging over us.”
At that, Liara couldn't help but laugh a little. Before Shepard could open her mouth to protest the laughter, Liara remarked, “I wasn't aware that the Alliance paid their soldiers well enough to afford a meal on Bekenstein. I appreciate the sentiment but let's face it, I will be the one taking you out on the fancy date. I've become very wealthy in my... line of work.”
Speaking that last part quietly, Liara glanced around to make sure no heads were suspiciously turned towards her. Being the Shadow Broker meant having a certain amount of paranoia instilled that was hard to shake.
Assured that nobody was listening in, she continued, “To be honest, almost all of the credits I earn are going towards various charities and organisations more in need than myself during this war. And when we win, much of it will be going towards rebuilding efforts across the galaxy. But I'm certain that the galaxy won't complain if I use some of the credits once this is over to treat the woman who is working so hard to save us all.”
Triumph over the Reapers was far from guaranteed but it helped to talk as though victory was only a matter of time. It was a little thing that kept their spark of hope alive; the optimism that, despite it all, they were going to win in the end.
“Guess I have something to look forward to then, huh?” Shepard leaned in a little closer to Liara and near-whispered, “I can't wait to see what a Broker's salary date looks like.”
“If we're lucky, it won't be long until you find out.”
They remained in comfortable silence until it was time to return to the Normandy. They hadn't defeated the Reapers today, but they'd won a victory nonetheless. Taking the downtime to relax with each other away from their stress was exactly what they had both needed to boost their spirits and revitalise their energy to face the Reapers. Glancing out over the vast darkness beyond the docking bay window, a few bright stars flickered in the distance, undisturbed by the millions of lives seeking refuge aboard the space station. Shepard leaned her head against Liara's shoulder as they marvelled at the sight.
Despite the uncertainty of the future, one thing was guaranteed. Deliveries to the Citadel were about to become a special part of their routine.