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Lumine coughs up another flower petal—Qingxin, his favorite.
Rubbing at her aching throat, Lumine wipes a bit of blood from her mouth. Her lungs are remarkably weaker, and she's found herself losing her breath faster. The petals aren't hard to cough up, but recently they have been increasing in volume. She's been coughing them up more and more often, and it's making it remarkably harder to do everyday tasks.
Along her travels, she'd heard rumors of a strange disease. In Teyvat, if one were to fall deeply in love with someone, and that someone didn't return their feelings, flowers would grow in one's lungs. But she'd disregarded the story, as she assumed it would never apply to her for two reasons. First, she wasn't expecting to fall in love while on her journey, as she was trying to find her brother. Second, she typically isn't bound by the rules of this world anyway.
How could she have known that this would stick?
At first, it had been nothing. An itchy throat that could easily be dismissed as allergies or a common cold-- if she could even get sick here-- and insomnia that could be linked to stress.
But then she began to cough up flowers.
Only then did the legend of the sickness occur to her.
Lumine soon finds herself in another coughing fit, and her eyes widen at the sight before her. In her palm is an entire flower. She’s never coughed up a full flower before, and a pit of fear forms in her stomach.
The sight of blood mixed with the full qingxin flower makes her nauseous. Lumine leans her head against the counter of the sink, trying to suck in a desperate breath.
Up until now, she hasn't been taking her infection seriously. She’d figured her body would heal itself.
But it hasn't, and she doesn't know what to do.
She's not clueless about the source. In fact, the who has become a glaring issue.
When she’d first met him, she hadn't expected to fall so hard. She’d initially thought it was just a silly little crush on one of Liyue’s adepti. She tried to excuse it as gratitude for him not letting her plummet to her death, but unfortunately, she knows herself better. She hadn’t come to this world looking for love, but it had caught her by surprise, snatching her by the heart and refusing to let go.
What she wasn't aware of, however, was the punishment for unrequited love in this world.
She can't understand why one-sided love would be a sin, but it doesn't matter because there's nothing she can do. Love isn't a physical enemy; It isn't something tangible like a hilichurl, and she can't just fight it off. She can't turn off her emotions either. Unlike her brother, she's never been able to just let things go.
Unfortunately, Xiao doesn't seem interested at all. Like, as far from interested as one could possibly be. He’d barely allowed her to form a friendship with him, so how in the world could she ever form a romantic relationship with him?
Lumine straightens, fixing her gaze on her own reflection. She stares at herself in the mirror, wiping the blood from her mouth once more. She grasps at the cool marble of the counter.
"You will be fine," she tells her reflection, trying to sound as confident as she can.
However, both she and her reflection know she's lying.
As they walk back to Bubu Pharmacy, she has to force herself to keep her face leveled. Her mind is racing, her heart pounding as she makes herself act natural.
Lumine can't help but stare. His eyes are a gorgeous golden color, like Cor Lapis. She's spent far too much time studying them, memorizing every color revealed by the light. She loves the way the sun reflects on his teal hair, making it a pretty greenish hue.
It's not her fault, she tries to convince herself, Xiao is beautiful. It's literally become part of his legend.
The way he holds Qiqi makes her heart flutter. Xiao holds her protectively, shielding her face from the setting sun. Qiqi nuzzles comfortably into his neck, perfectly content in Xiao’s solid arms.
Seeing how gentle he is with the small zombie girl made it feel like all of the air had been stolen out of her lungs.
He likes to say that he's a monster, a demon barely above those he slays. However, anyone who knows him better must disagree.
Xiao is kindhearted and quiet. His strength is contained and reserved for punishing evil, and his entire life is dedicated to protecting the innocent.
Ultimately, the only person who hates Xiao is himself.
Lumine's affinity for him has only gotten worse as time goes on, much to Paimon's dismay. The poor fairy floats behind them, likely cringing at the hopelessly lovesick look on her face.
As such, her attempts at trying to resume life as usual have been increasingly difficult.
Xiao has recently agreed to accompany her on her commissions with minimal probing. She's thankful for the extra help, as it's been getting harder to operate on her own. The task of babysitting Qiqi has been the most successful she's done in weeks, and this is with Xiao's help. If he weren't here to keep an eye on the little zombie, Lumine would've certainly lost her, as she'd likely have been unable to chase her for long should she have taken off.
This foul sickness is beginning to take a dramatic toll on her health. In recent days, the flowers have gotten more frequent. Her voice is raspy and strained, only made tolerable by the insane amounts of tea she's been drinking. Her lung capacity has become pathetic, and since she hasn't been able to sleep, her energy levels are laughable.
Still, she has a job to do, even if the effectiveness of said jobs has declined drastically.
Arriving at Bubu Pharmacy, they wave goodbye to Qiqi and leave her in the custody of Baizhu, her caretaker. The zombie girl bids them a quiet farewell before wandering off to take an afternoon nap.
Reward in hand, the trio begin the journey back to the Inn. The walk back is quiet, as Xiao is not very talkative, Lumine can't say much without triggering a coughing fit, and Paimon is too afraid to instigate said coughing fit.
"Are you alright, Traveler?" Xiao questions.
Lumine nearly jumps. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
"Take no offense, but you look quite fatigued."
She'd almost forgotten how observant he is.
"I'm okay, just some trouble sleeping." Lumine dismisses, "A recurring nightmare, you know?"
It's not a lie exactly, but can you call it a nightmare if you're awake?
Lumine shoots a cautious look at Paimon, who looks like she wants to add something. She silently begs the fairy not to spill her secret, as she's sure she couldn't bear the rejection or the embarrassment.
Xiao frowns. "If it's been causing you that much trouble, I can remove the offending nightmare."
A pang of panic shoots through Lumine. Is he serious? He can't be, she decides, there's no way.
She knows how dangerous that technique is for him. Why would he offer to use it so casually?
"No, no. It's fine, Xiao." Lumine spudders.
He narrows his eyes. "Are you sure?"
She nods. "Yes. There's no need for such drastic measures. I'm fine."
She's sure she's sweating at this point, as the strain from speaking and the sudden rise in her pulse has nearly exhausted her.
Thankfully, by the time they've settled the matter, they've arrived at the Inn. Bidding him a hasty goodbye, she rushes to her room to cough into the sink.
After a few weeks, Lumine is getting sick of the flowers.
She's sick of the blood, sick of the coughing, and sick of the pain.
Most of all, though, she's upset that she knows she will never have Xiao.
The realization had been despairing, but she’d forced herself to be content with it. Xiao doesn't owe her anything. If anything, she owes him everything.
Her condition has taken a stark and dramatic turn, as she's now exclusively hacking up full flowers. She hasn't been able to sleep in days, and she's spending most of her nights coughing in the bathroom. The simple task of breathing has become laborious.
Even though she is growing weaker, she can't bring herself to stop working. She's still trying to take on commissions, even if it is slowly killing her. Tonight, it's led her out to the middle of a field in Liyue to a small hilichurl camp, which usually wouldn’t be a problem for her. Usually.
As she swings her sword at another hilichurl, her limbs quickly grow tired. No matter how much she inhales, she can't seem to get enough air. With sore arms, she runs her sword through a mitachurl. But, as she pulls her sword back, she stumbles back and falls to the ground, turning to her side to violently cough up blood and flowers.
Behind her, she can hear the monsters regrouping, but she can't find the strength to get up.
Tears spills from her eyes involuntarily. She is in excruciating pain. Her entire body aches, her throat burns, and her head is spinning.
Worst of all, she is about to lose. Lumine hates losing, but to monsters, losing means dying.
As the mitachurl that she'd ticked off raises its axe above her, she remembers that she still has one more card to play.
"Xiao." She rasps.
The wind picks up. In a flash of green and black, he appears.
Xiao makes quick work of the monsters she'd left. Lumine can hear the sounds of battle behind her, and judging from the horrid screams behind her, it isn't much of a fair fight.
The battle ends as quickly as it had begun. As the shrieks of the monsters die down, the only noise around them is her coughing. Bloody Qingxin petals and flowers decorate the ground, and Lumine is unable to stop them. She hastily tries to bury them in the dirt.
Xiao kneels in front of her, his brow furrowed in confusion and concern.
"Traveler." Xiao starts, his eyes shifting around as he tries to piece together her situation.
She can't manage words. She can't explain herself. She's stuck.
Lumine waits for him to say something, or if she's lucky, leave.
Instead, he helps her to her knees so she can sit up.
"If you can, tell me what's wrong," Xiao instructs, his voice tinted with thinly veiled concern.
Lumine’s throat is raw, but the coolness of his voice makes her feel compelled to answer him.
Even so, what can she say?
"Nothing.” She decides, stupidly, “Nothing’s wrong."
"This isn't the time for you to lie. I need to know what's going on so I can help you."
He's right, but she doesn't care. She can't bring herself to admit the truth to him.
If she tells him: 'Hey, you’re the reason I’ve been slowly suffocating for the past few months! I love you so much, but you don't love me back!' She’d risk embarrassing herself and ruining her current relationship with him.
Plus, she knows he'll blame himself and will likely never forgive himself.
"Lumine," Xiao insists, "please tell me what's wrong."
Archons. That tone of voice would've made her weak in the knees if she wasn't already on the ground. His voice, normally so void, holds a slight twinge of desperation to it, and is further colored with a rare tenderness that she's only heard once or twice.
Fine. She’ll give in.
"Flowers," she manages, "Coughing up flowers."
Xiao’s eyes widen in faint horror. It physically pains her, but she can't look away. Lumine can practically see the gears turning in his mind. He's trying to think of a solution, but he's clearly missing the most crucial piece.
One of the things she loves about him is how oblivious he is. He'll do something that is unintentionally adorable and have no idea why.
It seems it's quite literally going to be the death of her.
"You need to tell your loved one," Xiao urges, "And soon. If you're coughing up whole flowers, you're running out of time."
A jolt of panic shoots through her. "No, I can't."
"And why not?"
Before she can answer, another flower climbs up her throat. She turns her head and chokes out another flower into her hand as Xiao watches helplessly.
Lumine gasps to catch her breath. Her entire body screams in agony, exhausted by the repeated expulsion of the blooms.
He slips his fingers carefully under her chin, tilting her head up slightly to look at him. "Lumine."
She sucks in a breath, stunned by his sudden touch. "He, uh-- he won't like me back."
"Why wouldn't he?" Xiao demands.
"It’s complicated."
"You don't have time for complicated. You might as well try."
It suddenly occurs to her that Xiao has never even considered that he is the one she loves.
All of the odd comments, his willingness to accompany her on meaningless and mundane tasks, and his disposition to excessive self-sacrificial tendencies.
Is there any possible way that he could like her back, Lumine wonders.
"Fine." Lumine sighs.
"Good." Xiao’s gaze softens, "I’ll help you up, okay?"
He moves to help her stand up, but she just grabs his arm. He furrows his brow.
"Xiao, it's you," Lumine tells him earnestly.
He blinks in surprise, pulling back a bit. The grimace in his expression makes the pit of fear in her stomach manages to deepen.
Her brain comes to a screeching halt as Xiao meets her eyes again. The moment of heavy silence between them seems to last forever, but Xiao breaks it first and does something she would've never expected.
He kisses her.
Although he had been stealing her breath for weeks, he finally gave it back.
In an instant, as his lips meet hers, the heaviness in her body disappears. Her lungs suddenly felt clean and clear.
For months, she'd been entertaining herself with daydreams and fantasies of kissing Xiao, which was embarrassing to admit--even to herself. However, nothing could have prepared her for actually doing it.
His touch is light, careful, as if he thinks she'll disappear if he is too bold. It was what she reasonably needed, considering her fragile state. Regardless, she wraps her arms around his neck, deepening this kiss, desperate to relieve the emotional turmoil in her chest.
He wants her, and she isn't going to let go yet.
When she pulls away, she offers him a tired smile, but a genuine one nonetheless. She is delighted to see a small suggestion of a smile on his face, too.
"So.. is that a yes?" she questions, but the way he's looking at her has already given her the answer.
Xiao lightly brushes a stray strand of hair out of her face, letting his hand slip down to cradle the side of her face. "Indeed. I do love you, Lumine."
Lumine can't help but smile wider. He has no clue how amazing it feels to hear those words. Even in her dreams, she'd never imagined that he'd say them to her, which makes them all the sweeter.
Suddenly, all at once, her exhaustion hits her like a tidal wave, making her lightheaded and dizzy. Her eyelids weigh heavily, and despite her best efforts, she closes her eyes. Leaning into his touch, she sighs in contentment.
"You need to rest," Xiao says, taking notice of her condition.
"I’m fine!"
Though he's correct, and her body certainly agrees, she protests in fear of him leaving.
"We'll talk tomorrow." Xiao hums softly, "Your body needs to recover from the strain that this curse put on you."
Lumine wants to protest, but she physically cannot. Instead, as he scoops her up into his arms--quite easily, she might add-- she lets herself sink into his embrace.
His body is warm as she settles against him. She slowly drifts off. For the first time in months, she can breathe.
Being held by the man she is madly in love with, with fully clear lungs, she is finally getting to sleep well for the first time in months.
The night is perfect.
Lumine wakes up slowly.
She is incredibly warm, her chest tingling pleasantly.
The events of the night before trickle back into her mind as she regains consciousness.
Taking note of her surroundings, she realizes she's back in Wangshu Inn. In the bed next to her, Paimon is still fast asleep from the night before, lightly snoring.
Lumine assumes Xiao had taken her back, but he is nowhere in sight.
Fear shoots through her, and she gets up so fast she makes herself dizzy. Despite the black spots in he vision, she stumbles out onto the balcony.
"Xiao?" she calls out aimlessly.
The wind picks up familiarly.
Appearing in a flash before her, Xiao offers her a small smile. "Good morning, Lumine,"
Her lips curl into a bright grin. Without a word, she rushes forward and throws her arms over his shoulders. She pulls him into a kiss, a much better one than the first.
Xiao hesitates for only a moment before he returns her affections. His hands carefully find the curve of her hips, urging her closer.
Lumine allows herself to fully enjoy it, taking care to memorize every aspect of the moment.
It is Xiao who pulls away this time, but he doesn't go far. He gazes down into her eyes, the usual tension in his face now missing.
But his expression wavers after a moment, and the guilt she'd feared from before begins to slip in.
"I’m sorry, Lumine," Xiao tells her quietly.
Her first instinct is to reprimand him for even entertaining the notion of any wrongdoing, but she chooses to take a gentler approach.
"You love me, right?"
He doesn't miss a beat, "Yes, of course."
"Then don't blame yourself."
Xiao falters. Forgiving himself isn't something he usually does. He holds his every transgression--real or perceived--for life, branding his supposed misdeeds into his mind like a tattoo.
But thankfully, he relents with a sigh, “If that’s what you wish.”
Lumine slips out of his grasp, choosing to walk to the balcony's railing. She can feel his gaze on her as she moves, and it's more addictive than she'd like to admit.
Her body still recovering from the excessive stress of the last few months, she leans against the wooden railing for stability. After a moment of pause, Xiao follows her to the edge.
She draws in a long, deep breath, finally being able to.
Contentment is not something she's known here, not for a while. Even if she has accepted that her journey to reunite with her brother is in vain, she hasn't known a moment of through peace until now.
Because she has everything she could possibly want now. She has her friends, her health, and most importantly, Xiao.
"I love you, Xiao."
In the corner of her eye, she can almost see him smile.
"I love you, too."