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There were other people on the ship, Hex soon learned: Ace and Benny. Ace was a couple of years younger than he, and she had quite the explosive personality. Literally. As for Bernice, she was smart and cool, and she always seemed to have a drink at her side, ready for consumption. She liked good company and a bit of chaos. When she wasn't trying to decipher old maps she often passed her time talking to someone right on the edge of the ship. Someone whose mere presence, in spite of Hex not having seen them, made his skin crawl.
The Doctor didn't seem to like those visits either. They always left them in a bad mood. However, with the Doctor it was hard to say what they were really thinking, and sometimes there was a hidden smile behind their grumpy exterior.
- Who's that? - Hex had dared to ask them, once.
- Who's who?
- That... Thing over there, talking with Berenice.
The Doctor made a face. - That's not a thing, Hex. That's my–
In that moment, the TARDIS’s bell rang, and the sea god emitted a sound of surprise that was a bit exaggerated. How convenient.
- A request of help! We must do something! Come on, Mr.Hex, Duty calls!
Hex sighed, but he followed. For some reason, every time the Doctor got close to explaining him something, they were always interrupted and they left him utterly confused.
Hex was pretty sure the Doctor had said that his stay on the ship was going to be brief, - “a couple of days, maybe a week, Mr.Hex” -, but time seemed to stretch and snap back like a slingshot on that vessel, and he couldn't tell how long he had spent with the Doctor’s crew anymore. A week? A month? He had fallen in a strange sort of routine: wake up, put on the clothes the TARDIS had decided to spit out of the closet that day, have breakfast with Ace in the kitchen, help Benny move her stuff to the bridge of the ship, go to his room to read, help around for the rest of the day, have dinner and listen to the Doctor’s often horrifying and yet bewitching stories, go to bed, start again. He still hadn't been able to wrap his mind around how it was possible for the ship to move without a bigger crew. It must have been one of the Doctor's tricks of course, but it was still tremendously unnatural, and Hex needed to remind himself that he wasn't dreaming every once in a while.
Not dreaming, he told himself every time he looked at the folded sails, with not a sliver of wind in sight, in spite of the ship sliding fast on the calm sea waters. Not dreaming, he repeated to himself when he caught a glimpse of unfathomablethings moving under the water. A couple of times, he had had the impression that there was another ship, right under the one they were in, mirroring its every movement. But it wasn't just a reflection, couldn't be, because that mirror ship was as black as coal. A shadow of the one they were in.
Every time he was about to grasp the true meaning of all this - if there was one -, a calloused hand gently squeezed his shoulder, grounding him in the here and now. Reminding him that he had a material body to fall back into.
- What are you looking at, Mr.Hex?
- For a moment, I thought I had seen something. A ship of some sort.
- Oh. A ship? - The Doctor let out a chuckle. - You have a wild imagination, don't you?
Their grip on Hex's shoulder grew tighter, and they piloted him towards the helm of the ship. It was a curious device. At times it seemed to move on its own.
The Doctor took a battered old clock out of their pockets and looked at it. They made a noise of approval and then stirred the helm to the right. Hex wondered how looking at a clock could help with not getting lost at sea, but it seemed to have worked just fine up to that point, so he wasn't in the position to criticize.
The Doctor looked at him for a brief moment, a slight smile dancing on their lips.
- Ever so curious, hmm?
Hex diverted his gaze from the clock and met their eyes. - What?
- You know what they say about curiosity, young man. It ate the cat.
- That's not how--
- Proverbs! Short and wise. They remind me of myself.
Hex rolled his eyes. He had tried not to, because making fun of a sea god was a bad idea, but sometimes it was extremely hard not to groan at some of the things the Doctor said. The problem was that one could never be sure if they were serious or doing so on purpose just to annoy their crew. Not that Hex was one of them, but he still had to deal with all the Doctor’s... Eccentricities, as the crew did.
- Listen, Doctor... I wanted to ask you–
- Yes? - They brightened up, and smiled to Hex like a kid waiting for a piece of chocolate.
Hex was put off by that for a moment. He tried to smile back, but it didn't really work.
- I don't mean to pester you with requests, but I was wondering when you’re going to bring me home.
- Oh. - That wasn't what the Doctor had hoped he'd ask. - Well. We've had to make a couple of detours that have caused us to need a lot more time to reach an harbour close to Liverpool.
- When, Doctor?
- What?
- When are we going to reach land, then? You said it would take only a couple of days.
- And now I've explained why we’ve been late. It’s not that complicated to wrap your mind around, Mr.Hex. Even you should be able to understand this.
Hex shook his head, incredulous. - You can't just… keep me here.
The Doctor's gaze became colder, lost in the horizon.
- Doctor, you-
- Why do you wish to leave this badly? Have I treated you unfairly?
- No. No, but-
- Good, then. You can go back to your quarters. Your presence is not needed on the bridge at the moment.
Hex was speechless. And, in spite of being afraid of the way the conversation was going, he was angry.
- I'm not a soldier you can just order around! Nor a member of your crew!
- You are my guest. You are traveling on my ship. My ship, my rules, - the Doctor muttered. - You are dismissed.
Hex could not believe this.
- I don’t understand. This ship can travel in space and time, correct? - he whispered.
- I said you are dismissed.
- So, theoretically, you could bring me home anytime.
- I don't like to repeat myself, Mr.Hex.
Hex was prodding the dragon with a stick, he knew, but he had to make something clear.
- I don’t see where the problem is. Just bring me home. Or, maybe, you can't pilot the ship as well as you thought and it’s beyond your control. Is that it?
The Doctor didn't dignify that question with an answer. So, they had resorted to ignoring him. A very mature tactic.
- I really don't understand you, Doctor.
The Doctor scoffed. - Yes, that often happens. It’s human.
- I may be human, but I’m not stupid. Do you think I haven’t notice how you were avoiding me, when I arrived? You didn't want me here. And now, you don’t want to let me go, like I’m your prisoner. What have I done wrong? Why do you despise me this much?
The Doctor suddenly turned around, and Hex had to use all his courage not to take a step back. How could someone so small be that intimidating was a mystery.
- Despise you? I don't despise you, foolish boy.
- Why are you being like this, then?
The Doctor averted their gaze and they fell silent.
- Right, - Hex said. - I'm dismissed, then.
He threw his hands in his pockets and walked towards the stairs that lead below deck.
The Doctor didn't try to stop him.
- Give that to me. Let it go, I said! - Hex was fighting with a sock stuck in the drawer. The closet just wouldn’t let go of it.
When Hex finally managed to take the sock out, the doors of the closet opened and vomited a pile of clothes on top of him.
- If you think this is going to stop me, think better, - he said, his voice muffled under the pile of shirts.
He emerged from it with a gasp, grabbed a couple of vests and trousers, and shoved everything in his worn bag of medical tools. He hoped the Doctor wasn't going to hold it against him, if Hex took some essentials before leaving. Maybe even a book...? No, he didn't know what the price for that could be.
Hex looked at the sky through the small window in his room. It was night, the stars shone brightly, and everything was calm. The perfect weather to row away in the night. An island was in sight. A couple of ships where in its harbour, Hex could see them with the naked eye. He was going to ask for passage and, possibly, maybe in a couple of months, he was going to be home.
His grandmother had to be worried sick, at that point. According to the Doctor, they were sailing in the same year his ship had been destroyed in.
Hex took a deep sigh and grabbed the latter he had written in a haste. He didn't want to rethink his decision too much.
He put the letter in his pocket and went for the door.
His heart skipped a beat, when he realized it was stuck. He pulled and he pushed, but it wouldn't budge.
- Oh, come on now! - Hex cried.
He wasn't sure whether the ship could really understand him or not, but he had to try.
- Listen,- he said, addressing the door. - I need to go back home. If the Doctor won't take me there, I'll go on my own.
The door still wasn't moving.
- Please?
Hex waited for an answer, but none arrived. He took a deep sigh and he sat with his back against the door. He didn't know why he felt so choked up about it. The Doctor was right, in a way. They had never treated him badly. He had no reason to be resentful towards them. They had been much kinder to him than all the captains he had served under in the past. Being ignored and kept in a cupboard like fragile china was much better than people actively trying to make his life worse.
It was just that he had chosen to serve under the marine, whereas here, with the Doctor, he was trapped.
Suddenly, the door behind him gave in, and Hex fell on his back.
He stared at the ceiling for a moment, then he got up and awkwardly patted the wall.
- Uh... Thank you, - he whispered.
Before the ship could change her mind, Hex walked down the corridor. He held his bag close, looking left and right at every crossroads.
He saw Benny's door, a light leaking under it.
She had to be playing with her cat, Wolsey.
- Who's a good kitty? You are! Yes, you are- no wait, get away from those maps! Don't, no, that's not for you!
Hex bit his lip not to laugh, and he tiptoed towards a nearby corridor, looking for Ace's room. He took the letter he had written, and he looked at it for a long moment. It felt cowardly leaving her like this, with just some awkward words put on paper even more awkwardly, but he didn't want her to ask him to stay, or he might have actually done it. If not for the Doctor, for her. It had been a long time since he had had a friend like her and he wasn’t sure he would have been able to turn his back on her while looking at her in the eye.
Hex slipped the paper under her door, where the lamps had already been turned off, and, after one last moment of hesitation, he walked the stairs that lead to the deck.
The cold air of the night made him shiver in spite of the heavy coat he was wearing. The helm was still, and the Doctor was nowhere to be seen.
Hex headed towards the lifeboats, a couple of crooked and moldy things that it was a miracle they hadn't already melted, and he started undoing the knots that kept them in place.
- Come on... Come on, - he whispered under his breath, his fingers struggling with a particularly tight knot. He didn't keep any weapons, except for a small knife in his pocket, a gift by Ace. The only thing he had stabbed with it where apples and oranges. He cut through the fibers. Particularly resistant, stubborn fibers.
- Going somewhere?
Hex's heart stopped.
He lost his grip on the rope, and the lifeboat tilted, before ungraciously splashing in the waters below. It soon was filled with water, and it was swallowed by the ocean in a cloud of bubbles.
- Oh, dear, - the Doctor said, gently moving Hex aside with their cane. They looked down and lifted an eyebrow. - I should replace these. Luckily I was here to prevent your little escapade or you would have sunk like a rock, Hex.
- I can swim, - he said, senselessly.
The Doctor turned around and gave him a strange look. Hex had expected them to be angry, but they seemed amused by his joke, and maybe, somewhere deep down, sad.
- I bet you can, - they said. They tried to wrap an arm around Hex, but then thought better of it and rested their hands on the question mark handle of their cane. - Listen, Hex, why don't you and I, um... Drink some tea together?
Hex looked at the other lifeboat. It didn't seem in better condition.
- The lifeboats aren't going to be ready for a while, - the Doctor continued. - And it's freezing out here.
They shivered in their night gown. Even sea gods were less threatening when they were wearing a floppy night hat.
Hex sighed and, without a word, followed them inside. The Doctor's room was deeper in the TARDIS, but the corridors somewhat made the walk much shorter than what Hex was used to. Even the ship was in on it. A longer walk, and he might have had time to realize that staying in the cold while the TARDIS produced more sturdy lifeboats wasn't that bad of an idea.
- Please, sit down, - the Doctor said, pointing at a very comfy looking armchair in front of his desk. A tea pot filled with steaming water was already waiting for them, together with two china cups.
Hex obeyed, holding his bag close.
- Sugar? - the Doctor asked, with a smile.
Hex shook his head.
- Ah, I see. Bitter... Just like this situation, - they mumbled.
Hex almost took their bait, but he bit his tongue at the last minute not to snap back at them. He wasn't going to let the Doctor trick him in a discussion. He knew he was going to lose, if they managed to drag him in their territory. They were going to wrap warm webs of words around him, and kind smiles and sad gazes, until he was going to cave in. He couldn’t allow them to do that.
The Doctor pushed a cup of tea towards Hex. He gave it a side eye look, but nothing more.
- You know, - the Doctor said, with a sigh, as they poured some milk into their own cup. - You're right. I haven't treated you very fairly. I have been avoidant and secretive and I haven’t explained you why.
Hex looked the other way. He wasn't going to be convinced easily, not after how they had treated him that afternoon.
- You see, Hex, there used to be another member in this crew, before you arrived. Her name was- is Mel. She left nearly before your arrival. She joined Glitz's pirate ship.
The Doctor stopped for a moment, as if the very notion irked them. Then, they took a sip of tea.
- I, uh... I have been unjustly cold with you, after I cured you of that coral, haven’t I. Diffident. I didn't want anyone else on board, only to have them leave. And I know that everyone leaves, in the end, one way or the other. Sea gods live for a dreadfully long time, you know? We get to see everything else die. Civilizations rise and fall, people live their little lives, billions of thousands of flowers bloom, wither and die, all in one eye blink of my species.
- Why would you care, then? - Hex whispered. - If our lives are so brief compared to yours, why would you care to get attached to one of us. We must be like insects to you.
- The lives of insects are valuable. Don't talk about them as if they weren't important. Anyways... Your lives might be much briefer than mine, but it doesn't mean I don't care, nor that I don't enjoy having you around. Quite the contrary. You're all so very full of life, you let me experience the world as if I was seeing it for the first time, too. You remind me how it is to have only one chance. You remind me that everything matters. And you make my solitude easier to bear.
Hex looked at them, and then he wished he hadn't, because they seemed so very sad. And sincere.
- So, - Hex said. - Maybe I'm too thick to get the message on the first try, but... Is this you saying that you're sorry?
The Doctor seemed embarrassed, and a part of Hex felt a little amused by that. Just a little.
- Well. Yes, I suppose treating you like I have, keeping you at arm's length, and then trying to keep you here against your will with excuses, hasn't been very nice of me.
Hex sighed and rested his head on his hand.
- It's... It's fine. Just, uh... Tell me when you want to bring me home for real, this time, alright?
The Doctor looked at him with wide eyes. - Bring you home?
- Well, yes, of course! That's what this whole discussion has been about.
- Ah, yes, yes. Yes. Ah. Hm. - The Doctor intensely thought about it, then frowned. - To be entirely honest with you, I thought you might want to, well. Stay.
Hex blinked. - Me? Stay?
- Well, yes. I would like it, if you, um. Stayed.
They looked at each other in silence, then Hex shifted in the armchair. He hadn't expected that.
- Your ship travels in time, so... You could just bring me back home at some point and it would be like I never left... Right?
- Oh, yes. Yes I could do that. I can do that.
Hex crossed his fingers, and he examined the china cup with his tea in it.
- Then, it really seems like it's doable.
The Doctor immediately changed attitude, and a big smile appeared on their face. They opened a drawer and took a thick roll of parchment out of it, closed with a blue bow. They put it in front of Hex as if it had been a gift they had waited to give him for a long time, and they just couldn't wait for him to open it.
- I have taken the liberty to prepare this for you.
- Is this a–
- A contract, yes. I have already signed it, all you need to do is just put your own signature at the end of the parchment.
- Oh. Oh, this is–
- You will need to sign with this, of course, - The Doctor put a strange pen in Hex's hand. It seemed carved out of blue coral, and it had tiny seashells encrusted in it. - Just a formality, but it needs to be done, and–
- Hang on, Doctor. I never said I was going to sign any contract with you.
The Doctor stilled.
- I'm sorry, but after all the stories I've heard... It's not personal. I trust you (mostly). But I don't want to give up my soul. I want to keep being human, I've liked it so far, and I don't want to, you know, be changed by your magic. Not saying that your magic isn't cool, I just prefer to keep things as they are.
Hex thought the Doctor was going to be more responsive than that. The silence stretching made him feel very uncomfortable.
- I, um. I understand if you don't want me on board without a contract.
- Do you think I'd ever use this to do something bad to you? - the Doctor said, all of a sudden. They opened the roll of parchment and showed Hex a paragraph. - It is precisely stated here that you can leave at any time, like Mel did, and you'd still be free and completely yourself, I assure you.
- I believe you, Doctor.
- Then, why don't you want to–
- I told you why.
- But it doesn't...
- Make sense? I just don't want to give up my humanity, is that so hard to understand?
Apparently, yes. It was. The Doctor wasn't joking, when they had said that they didn't really get humans. Some things about them, either way.
- I’m sorry, - Hex said.
- Is it because I'm a sea god?
- No! Well, I- you're not like the other sea gods? I think? I hope.
- Of course I'm not!
- Then, if you accept that I stay here without a contract, I will be glad to be a part of your crew. Otherwise, I'm sorry, but, if you think that a contract is mandatory for staying, I will go on my way. As much as I would enjoy to travel with you.
The Doctor's expression darkened.
Hex swallowed. Maybe he had gone too far. Maybe it was better if he left quietly, before they could get proper mad at him.
He was about to get up, when a hand locked around his wrist.
- I didn't say no, - the Doctor muttered. - It's just that a contract would make everything so much safer and easier, Hex. We travel on uncharted seas. Dangerous places. If you're not bound to me, you're going to be a target for all the most ill-intentioned beings out there. They will hurt you.
- But you will be there to protect me, right?
The Doctor gritted their teeth. - Yes, but... I have the terrible habit of not being there precisely when I'm needed. Not because of my own choice, but out of tragic circumstance and pure unadulterated bad luck. - They took his hand between theirs for a moment. - Please, Hex. Promise me you'll think about it, at least.
Hex swallowed. - I... I will.
- Thank you, - the Doctor said, a little relieved.