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Sirius was halfway to shitfaced drunk before even getting to the wedding of his Best Friend. He didn’t think he could go and watch James and Lily get married. The truth was he had been in love with her for years— but he kept quiet because he knew that James was in love with her and he couldn’t do that to him.
For years he had watched them together, and every night they went to sleep together, broke Sirius a little more.
It was harder when Lily would sneak into the Dorm for the night and Sirius could hear them whispering.
She was James’ girl. But Sirius wanted her.
Lily was the perfect woman: she cared for everyone and gave her all in all their classes.
Remus knew Sirius’ feelings for Lily, he had guessed. But he had listened to Sirius and kept his secret.
The night that James proposed to Lily with them all there was hard to watch. He had made sure that all their friends were around for it and no matter how many times Sirius had tried to beg off going he wouldn’t listen.
So Sirius decided the only way to get through the wedding was to be drunk, when they had James’ Bucks night he didn’t stop drinking when the others had and didn’t allow himself to get sober.
Lily looked gorgeous, she had her hair flowing with diamonds and emeralds fed through it. Her dress was floor length with a long train and clung to her figure perfectly. And what a figure she had.
She was oblivious to how truly beautiful she really was and acted shyly as she walked down the aisle to where Sirius, James and Remus stood.
Sirius wished it was him she was walking towards. As she reached the end of the aisle, Sirius, Peter and Remus stepped forward on her behalf and gave their family magic to support the marriage bond.
Once the ceremony was over and James and Lily had danced their first dance— Sirius asked Lily to dance and held her as if it was his right to hold her. He held her for the last time and savoured the feeling of her in his arms.
He watched as she danced with all of their friends and James again and felt regret wash through him. He should have told her when he had the chance.
He shouldn’t have ignored his feelings. That could be him right now, instead he sat watching James and his girl laugh together.
“Just go home,” Remus said from his right side. Trying to grab the bottle of Firewhiskey once more.
“Leave me alone. I need this one last night. Just leave me be,” Sirius begged his friend.