Work Text:
Tomoe Mami is grateful for a lot of things.
She could never pick just one thing to love most in her life, but there are definitely a lot of things in that running. Maybe it’s cute clothes, maybe it’s black tea, or maybe it’s hot chocolate in the winter time, but she finds she’s always happier with the simpler things in life. She thinks life doesn’t always have to be grandiose if it doesn’t want to be.
Mami’s grateful for the green landscapes passing her by, her face pressed against the glass of the car window. She’s grateful for the shining sea and the bright sun. But glancing away, Mami is also grateful for the people that surround her.
She loves her parents in front of her, and she loves the writing on her left arm. She caresses a hand over some of the red words, smiling softly to herself. At first, she had been apprehensive at simply the idea of Soul Writing. It just seemed so scary in the beginning. But her parents had talked her through it, taught her how to use it and guided her towards loving it. Now, she wouldn’t have it any other way.
She supposes she’s grateful for that too. Mami can’t help but think how nice and lovely it is to have parents like that.
In a single, lone, benign second, everything changes.
Mami can’t even begin to comprehend what it is that’s happened. Her ears are filled with harsh, angry sounds and her body is alight with sensations of pain and exhaustion. Her vision is dark, and there’s a ringing sound that’s pulling all her attention to a single point.
She wonders, grimly, if she did something to deserve this. If maybe her simple pleasures weren’t enough.
There’s darkness in this world. There always had been. But all Mami had ever wanted to do was hide away, pretending that whatever was right in front of her was enough. She wondered if maybe that made her a bad person.
Mami had always shied away from conflict, that much was true. She had no grandiose dreams of making the world better or finding solutions to complicated problems. She was a child.
All Mami ever wanted to do was take part in her small, quaint little life and find pleasure in the simple things. She liked flowers and fashion and the color yellow. Wasn’t that enough?
Mami cracks her eyes open, the light of a world rapidly falling away meeting her in what she figures are her last moments. She may be a child, but she’s old enough to know death. Maybe she doesn't fully understand it, but even still she knows enough. That's okay though. Maybe there’d be something more for her on the outside.
A figure appears, shrouded in shadow and silhouetting itself in the sunlight behind it. It looks like an animal, but Mami knows better. She wonders if this is it.
Mami reaches her left hand out, meeting her fate with scared eyes.
The flowery, curled strokes of her soulmate stares back at her, reminding her of what she cares about. She stops suddenly, her eyes darting down to her arm and running over all of the red lettering there.
There is more to this world than the simple pleasures.
But Mami wants nothing more than to meet them. She wants to find them and hold them close, believing that there doesn’t have to be anything more than what’s right in front of them.
Mami decides she doesn’t want to die.
So when presented with the choice, Tomoe Mami realizes she doesn’t have the luxury of thinking about it first.
“Yes,” she breathes, fighting through the waves dragging her down under. “I want to live.”
And Tomoe Mami sells her soul away.
Her house is silent.
As per usual, of course. All that ever greets her is the soft cushions and black tea anyway, so Mami is used to it. She’s even taken to finding comfort in it nowadays. The silence can be refreshing, in its own way.
Not to say she prefers it that way, no. If there were someone waiting for her here everyday, Mami knows she would have a permanent smile stitched to her face every hour of the day. But she’s made her peace with it.
She’s used to being alone.
The people of society don’t interest her anymore. They could never understand the truth of this world. Could never fathom the horrors she’s seen. There is nothing simple about this world.
There never was, not really.
Her naïveté had been strong when she was younger. She had believed in the power of love and had appreciated the small solaces of a life she could find happiness in. She had never dared to consider she could be anything more than what she already was.
But now, having seen everything this world had to offer, Mami had learned the truth. Many truths, in fact. The simple pleasures weren’t so simple to her anymore, there always had to be more to it.
Words always had double meanings. Actions always had double intentions. People acted for themselves and themselves alone above all else. And the things that tempted them into true horror were no different.
Mami would like to believe in the inherent good of a humanity that cared, she really would.
But with the existence of Witches so grand they left reality no choice but to contract those who were far too young to even begin to understand, perhaps the world was far darker than she had ever thought.
Humans weren’t so different from Witches. But it was her job to eliminate one and protect the other all the same. All she could do was find what fun she could in the duty she had no choice but to carry out.
But perhaps that was enough.
She had been granted a second chance at life. That's what being a Magical Girl meant, right? She should be grateful.
A soft glow on her wrist alerts Mami of one of her soulmates picking up a pen. The writing appears, character by character, and Mami can’t help but smile down at it.
She picks up a teacup, placing it on the counter and setting her kettle to boil. She hums to herself, rummaging around until she finds a bag of black tea. There wasn’t anything better than a night of talking with her soulmates and drinking tea. Or at least that’s what she thinks.
Mami may be alone, but she wasn’t so lonely.
Leaning up against the counter and stretching her back out until it pops, Mami grabs the nearest pen and uncaps it. She wishes she got to do this more often, but she was usually so busy during the day that normally they just talked amongst themselves more often than not. Really, it was mostly Madoka and Sayaka writing to each other.
Mami pulls up her arm, her eyes running along the new notes written there. There’s a little bit from earlier today that she never got around to reading, but it seems to consist mostly of Madoka gushing about whatever she had for lunch. Mami simply chuckles and rolls her eyes.
The new words, though, are what Mami’s interested in now. It looks like Kyoko had started a conversation, for once. She was usually pretty reclusive and a little prickly, but sometimes she got into one of her sweet moods that made Mami want to swoon and wrap her up in a hug.
Hi everyone.
Mami smiles, shaking her head good-naturedly. For as long as she had known her, Kyoko had always been at least a little awkward.
Kyoko! Hihi!
Madoka was almost always the first to respond to anyone. Mami swears that girl must have a pen in every pocket or something. And even then, she must not pay attention in class if she’s always so quick to talk.
Mami wonders if maybe she has some sort of condition. Being hospitalized with no other option than staring at her arm all day might make sense.
They all know each other on a surface level, but they’ve never really pried for more information. The idea isn’t all that out there.
Good evening.
Homura was usually one to pick up pretty fast if she was ever called out, but otherwise usually stayed pretty quiet. Mami figures she must be a little shy or something. Now that Mami’s thinking about it though, she wonders if the reaction times of Madoka and Homura were actually more similar than she initially thought.
Homura only ever wrote if she was responding to a direct question or greeting, but she was usually pretty quick in those situations. She just didn’t talk all that much outside of them.
Hm. Perhaps she could find a way to drag Homura into their conversations a little better.
I actually had a question for everyone…
Mami perks up, briefly dropping her arm to remove the kettle from her stovetop. She pours some of the water from it into her cup, setting the kettle aside, turning off the heat, and grabbing a spoon to stir her tea. She blows on it softly, smiling gingerly.
Mami makes her way over to her table, taking a seat on one of the cushions and setting her teacup on the table, stirring it absentmindedly. She places her arm down, propping it up on the table and setting her pen next to it. It looks like there had been a few updates to things.
Ohoh? Kyoko’s coming to us for help? How rare…
Shut up.
Make me :)
Sayakaaaaa stop iiitt
Yeah Sayakaaaaa
Kyokooooo
Mami laughs, bringing her teacup to her lips. They didn’t always all get along, but it was nights like these that reminded her that they must all be soulmates for a reason. No matter what, it seemed, they could always bring a smile to her face.
And Mami supposes that’s all that really matters.
Sorry, sorry. Anyway, what’s up Kyoko?
Mami quickly sets down her cup and picks up her pen, finding a spot to butt in.
Mhm mhm, what might this burning question of yours be, dear Kyoko?
Mami snickers to herself, quiet and hiding her mouth behind a hand even though she knows it’s silent in her house. Like this, she can pretend there’s really someone else here alongside her.
Y’know…maybe I just won’t ask.
Kyoko nooo :(
Wait Kyoko come backkkk we want to helpp
How do you all even find the room for this? We’re down to the elbow already!
Mami snorts out a surprised laugh, choking on her tea. Homura might be silent most of the time, but whenever she came out she always came out swinging.
But it’s true. They are already down to the elbow, and Kyoko hasn’t even asked her question yet. Mami’s not surprised, though; this is pretty normal for them.
Homura! Hiii ♡♡♡
Hi Madoka!
Homura, honestly, you should talk more often. You've already made me laugh! I promise we don't bite.
A pause. Mami contemplates saying something more, but she wants to see what happens first.
Uh, okay, that doesn’t answer my question though.
Mami laughs again, louder this time. She wishes she knew Homura a little better. But for as long as they've known one another, she's just always been so quiet.
Oh so now it’s all about your question, huh?
Sorry Kyoko! I didn’t mean to steal your spotlight, honest!
Gah, I forgot how often you apologized. You have got to stop taking things to heart.
Sorry!
Mami takes another sip of her tea, filled with joy at being surrounded by the happiness of her soulmates. It feels like it’s been so long since the last time they did something like this. They rarely talk all together like this, the five of them active at once.
Homura, dear, I know you don’t talk in many of our conversations, but surely you see how often we write?
Well I do but
We use the whole body!
Well I wouldn’t put it like that but
No, that sounds about right.
Mami sighs, shaking her head softly. Honestly, did these girls have no tact at all? Homura is simply a shy, sweet little girl that was surely blushing up a storm by now. Or at least that’s the read Mami got. She could never be totally sure.
She was so close to dragging Homura in, too. Just look at how much she had written already!
Well. I suppose the cat’s out of the bag then. Check your left thigh, Homura.
A pause.
Then,
Oh. I see.
Mami can’t help it. She laughs again.
Wait, seriously? You’ve never seen us write down there? Didn’t you ever feel the tickle?
Woah. Homura, you’ve missed like…half of our conversations…
I…guess I have.
Mami frowns, suddenly worried. At first it was kinda funny…okay, really funny…but now she was concerned. Had Homura seriously only ever checked her arm? She actually did miss at least half of their conversations over the last few years if that was true.
Such an idea was almost unfathomable.
They honestly have been talking a lot more recently, certainly more than they used to. It doesn't seem so far fetched that Homura hadn't seen some of it, but to not even check more than her arm…
Didn’t you ever see them in the shower? Or like…while you were changing clothes or something?
Sayaka!
What? It’s a valid question!
For once, Mami has to agree with Sayaka here. Mami always checks whenever she feels a tickle that appears anywhere that’s reachable on her body, but it’s not like they just go away after a few minutes.
It usually took a day for anything to disappear completely.
I actually, uh, have really bad eyesight. And I don't shower or change my clothes with my glasses, so…
That’s okay Homura! Just, uh, see how we’re, like, really running out of room on the arm now? This is usually when we move to the thigh or leg.
Oh. I usually wear tights too, so I guess that’s why.
Well. Mami supposes that's that, then. It makes sense. If Homura wore tights a lot, she certainly wouldn't be checking underneath them, nor responding to anything they wrote.
Faintly, Mami wonders if that means the rest of them wear shorts or skirts on the regular. She hadn't really thought about it before, but it's her Magical Girl skirt that really lets her communicate easily. Her normal school uniform is fine too, of course, but she finds herself dressed up in her Magical Girl regalia more often than not.
Anyway…
Sorry!
They’ve been talking for, what, three years now? Maybe somewhere closer to the four year range, but either way it’s a long time for Homura to have missed out on. It surely could’ve been worse, or so Mami thinks, but with your soulmate link developing when you all reach the age of ten, it’s still surprising it took this long.
Mami shakes herself from her thoughts, taking another sip of tea and frowning down at her arm. She looks it over, waiting. Hm. Strange, Kyoko must be hesitating for some reason.
Mami feels a tickle on her left thigh. Ah. There she is.
So, uh…
Sorry, this is a little hard to ask.
Take your time!
We’re not going anywhere.
Thanks.
Oh, I see how it works now.
Not the time, dear.
Sorry…
They must all be excruciatingly hopeless.
Mami figures she’s the oldest, based on how long it took for her link to first develop after reaching the age of ten, but even still. This is absurd.
All the more reason to be there for them then, hm?
So I’m in a place I haven’t been in for a while and am, like, really hungry.
So, uh, does anyone know any good places to eat in Mitakihara?
Mami almost drops her cup. She fumbles it slightly, floundering to catch it and limit her spill to just a small splash that soaks into her dress. She sighs, but leaves it to pay attention to the far more important things happening right now.
Kyoko’s in Mitakihara?
Kyoko.
Mami figures there’s enough said in that single word. She sets her teacup down, sighing and leaning back. She had hoped that maybe, just maybe, they were past this by now.
Sorry.
My door is always open to you.
A thousand memories float through Mami’s head all at once, each painful in its own regard. She wishes life were simpler, if only for a brief moment. She wishes Kyoko didn’t feel as if she had to tiptoe around her.
Is it? You know what happened last time.
What happened in the past doesn’t have to mean anything more than you want it to.
There’s a long, long stretch of silence. Mami wonders if perhaps she’s said something wrong, if perhaps she’s set Kyoko off somehow. It’s…been a long time since the two of them have spoken one-on-one.
They can be amicable in front of everyone else, of course. And they both decided, last time they parted ways, that perhaps a few years apart would do them good. They were supposed to be soulmates, after all.
Sorry.
And thank you.
Mami breathes out a sigh of relief. She smiles, her heart finally warm after so long alone.
Perhaps this isn’t so bad, after all.
I just…are you sure it wouldn’t be too much trouble?
Of course not.
Okay…
Mami leans back, stretching out her back a little. It’s been a while since she had guests. Perhaps she should clean up a little. Her house looks decent enough, but even still it’s certainly not up to her standards.
I’m, uh…outside your door.
Ah. Of course she is.
Mami stands quickly, brushing off her skirt and clearing her throat, looking around briefly. She wishes she had a little more time to prepare, but this works too. It’ll be nice to see her again. It’s been far too long. Or maybe it’s been just long enough.
Mami makes her way to her front door, checking her thigh one last time to make sure she didn’t miss anything. Then she twists the doorknob and swings the door open, a genuine smile on her face.
Sakura Kyoko looks up, giving a weak smile of her own.
“Hey,” Kyoko says quietly, idly tossing an apple into the air and catching it again.
“Hey yourself,” Mami responds, dipping her head and moving away a step. She gestures for Kyoko to come in and, after only a few seconds of hesitation, she does. “Make yourself at home.”
“Thanks,” Kyoko says back, already walking farther in as Mami closes the door behind her. “And sorry again for the intrusion.”
Mami hums, resting against the door and taking a second to prepare herself. It’s been a long time. “Anything specific bring you here?”
“A Witch, what else?” Kyoko laughs humorlessly, turning back to Mami and taking a bite out of her apple. “I’ve been tracking it for weeks at this point.”
“Of course. That is what you’d come here for.”
Kyoko pointedly avoids her gaze. “Sorry.”
Mami sighs, taking her seat once more at her table and gesturing for Kyoko to do the same. “Don’t be. I understand.”
Kyoko takes a seat silently, focusing more on her apple than her poor attempts at conversation. The tension is still thick between them, and both of them can feel how their past differences still hold. But how are they ever going to get past them if they can’t even sit in the same room though?
Mami checks her cup, but is disappointed to find it empty. She should’ve brewed a whole pot, really. She just wasn’t expecting company.
A tickle on her right thigh has both her and Kyoko surprised. They share a glance and then both look down simultaneously.
Sorry, Sayaka and I were freaking out for a second.
Mami looks up, but Kyoko just shrugs.
You two are in Mitakihara?!?!?!?
Kyoko sputters, choking slightly on her apple. Mami looks up, concerned, but Kyoko just waves her off. She swallows a second later, but Mami’s still a little worried.
“I’m fine, sorry,” Kyoko whispers, her voice a little hoarse. Mami shakes her head, unsatisfied.
“Let me brew us a pot of tea,” she says, taking the opportunity she sees. Kyoko smiles something small, a little sparkle finally coming to her eyes.
“That'd be great,” she says, clearing her throat afterwards. “I’ll keep you updated.”
Mami nods and smiles back. She hopes they’re finally getting somewhere.
But for now, she gets to work. She stands, dusts off her skirt, as per usual, and then returns to her kitchen. The kettle is still warm, so hopefully it won’t take too long to boil again. Her tea supplies are a little lacking, though. She hadn’t realized it before, but she should definitely restock soon.
She’s not sure if Kyoko’s just here for the night or if she might end up staying for longer, but either way Mami would definitely like to be able to provide for her. If only to start working towards some sort of remedy to their storied past.
“So I said yes to Madoka,” Kyoko says from across the room. Mami looks up, leaning onto the counter to look out at her. “She hasn’t responded yet but Homura’s saying something that I can’t quite make out.”
Mami frowns, pulling her skirt up a little and checking her thigh again. Sure enough, there’s a mess of purple handwriting there that looks almost unintelligible. It looks more like a jumble of scribbles than actual words, but Mami can still make out a little bit of it.
Sorry…why…talk…live…
Mami thinks she gets the gist.
“‘Sorry, why are we talking about where we live?’” Mami calls out, trying her best to read it. She’s not entirely sure she got all of it, and there are definitely a few missed words, but that’s all she can make out. Kyoko takes a second to look over the words, concentrating.
“Yeah that sounds about right,” she mumbles, picking up a pen that Mami hadn’t seen before. “But nobody mentioned where they lived besides you.”
Mami frowns, turning to the kettle that’s beginning to steam. She was the only one to accidentally clarify where she lived, but that was just because Kyoko needed a place to stay. Of course she'd open her doors to one of her soulmates.
Talking about where one lives or other generally self-identifying information was mostly forbidden under a certain age, of course. Mami understands that, but she's certainly not going to leave one of her soulmates out in the cold, dark world if all she has to do is go against society for a second. It wasn’t like she was offering up her location and demanding the same information from the others.
Though, Homura always was a little skittish. She’s probably just scared about ‘breaking the rules.’
Kyoko gasps, a dull thud and noise of pain coming directly after. Mami quickly removes the kettle from the heat, turning back to the counter and looking over at Kyoko. Kyoko’s eyes are wide, her pen uncapped and hand shaking above her thigh.
Kyoko looks up, surprised and almost a little scared. But her eyes are hopeful, too. Mami narrows her eyes, opening her mouth to ask what’s wrong.
“Madoka and Sayaka live in Mitakihara,” she breathes, a sudden smile breaking through her face. The breath leaves Mami’s lungs, and she’s immediately turning to the kettle to fill up her teapot as quickly as possible.
Turn off the heat, brew the tea, grab another teacup for Kyoko…
Mami’s back at the table in record time. She sets everything down and practically flops to the floor, grabbing her pen and all but ripping her skirt as she ruffles it back up around her thigh.
Sorry Homura! I know this is kind of a taboo subject, and I don’t want to force anyone into anything, but…
We live in Mitakihara.
Sayaka!
You were taking too long. And besides, isn’t it best to just get it over with?
Oh. Okay…okay.
Homura’s handwriting is shaky at best. It’s almost unreadable again. Poor girl must be terrified.
Homura, dear, deep breaths. No one’s expecting anything from you. You’re okay.
Chin up. The topic just came up accidentally, you haven’t done anything wrong.
Okay. Okay. Yeah, okay.
Homura! Please take your time! You don’t have to be a part of this conversation if you don’t want to be, okay?
No pressure at all.
Sorry, yeah, I get it. It’s okay.
It’s just…I…
A pause. Mami gets a little worried, but the familiar act of pouring two cups of tea helps calm her. She sets one in front of Kyoko, receiving a small smile and nod in response.
I…I live in Mitakihara too.
Mami shares another look with Kyoko. Oh. They were all right next to each other this whole time.
Oh my gosh!
Oh, this is a lot to process.
…Yeah…
Well, we don’t have to take it any further than this if you don’t want to. It’s still early years, you know? We’ve only known each other for three years.
Mami and I have known each other for four, and, uh, we sorta made the mistake of doing things too early.
You three shouldn’t go through that too.
“I’m sorry, Kyoko,” Mami says, looking up. Kyoko meets her, taken aback. “For everything. For everything I said and for everything I did. I hurt you, and I’m really sorry for it.”
“No, I’m sorry too,” Kyoko sighs, rubbing at the back of her neck and looking away. “I should be the one apologizing to you, really. I don’t think there’s a day that goes by where I don’t think about it.”
“Same here,” Mami admits. “But I’d like to try and move past it, if you’re willing.”
Kyoko smiles, meeting her eyes again. “Sure. That sounds like fun.”
The tickle makes itself known again, and both of them are ripping their eyes from each other as quickly as possible.
I have a lot of health complications. The reason I don’t talk a lot is because sometimes I’ll go months without being able to move much or focus on things.
“Oh wow,” Kyoko whispers. Mami suddenly feels a little emotional, like maybe she’ll start crying at any second now.
I just wanted to say that now.
Homura, thank you for telling us.
We love and support you no matter what! Don’t ever forget that!
Yes. You have just as much place here as the rest of us, you know.
And it's always nice to see you write. You're quite smart and eloquent when you let yourself be.
Another pause. Mami wonders if anyone else is sniffling and tearing up like she is. She doesn’t even know where this came from, really, but perhaps tonight is their night to really talk.
To really get to know each other, past all the surface-level talking they do.
They’ve known each other for three years. Some of them have been more reclusive than others, some of them have already known some of the others, and some of them have been more ready to embrace everyone with open arms. But here, now, Mami knows that there’s no one else she’d rather get to know.
I’m going to be going into a pretty invasive surgery tomorrow. I don’t know how long it will take.
Homura…
There are some risks involved. It’s heart surgery, after all.
But your heart is already so sweet!
But Homura, I know you can do this. I know it might be scary, but as long as you hold on to the love and hope you feel, I know you can do anything you put your mind to!
I just…wanted to tell you all…y’know…
In case you don’t hear from me again.
Mami’s breath catches in her throat. Her tears really start flowing now.
Don’t talk like that. There’s no one here stronger than you, Homura. I know you can do this.
How can you be so sure?
It’s just a hunch I have. But we’re soulmates for a reason, right? Our love for you, no matter how early or light it may be, can always push you forward, even if you don’t feel it yourself.
Mami chuckles lightly through her tears. “You’re so sweet,” she says, turning to look across the table.
“Shut up,” Kyoko says, refusing to meet her gaze. Mami doesn’t miss the blush set ablaze on her cheeks, though. “She’s writing again."
Mami immediately looks back down.
Akemi Homura of Mitakihara.
Oh, Homura, dear.
If something happens, I want you all to be there, okay?
Homura…
I don’t have much family.
Mami’s heart is breaking with every word.
No one should have to face their own mortality at such a young age. That burden should’ve been placed on her and her alone. It was already hard enough to see Kyoko go through something so heartbreaking. Mami doesn’t know what she would do if Homura had to go through the same thing.
I just want you all to be there. At my funeral.
Shut up. That’s not going to happen, y’hear? There ain't nothing that’s gonna happen to you except good things. You are going to be back soon, writing to us like nothing ever happened, okay?
Everything will work out. I believe in that. Wholeheartedly.
There’s nothing that we can’t do when we put our minds to it. That’s what I believe. Sometimes bad things happen to the best people, but I know, Homura, I know that you’ll come back to us, no matter what.
I just want you to know how much I love you, okay? I know we don’t always talk that often. I know we honestly don’t all know each other all that well. Three years is a long time, but the stretch of our lives after this is even longer, okay?
We’re all going to be together someday, sweetheart.
When you’re ready, I’ll come and give you the biggest hug I can, okay? We’ll have tea and talk about any manner of things, long into the night. We’ll joke and laugh and be together for as long as you’d like. That’s what I dream of every day. So I know that it must come true someday.
You guys…
Mami tries her best to dry her free-flowing tears, sniffling and hiding her face in the sleeve of her dress. She can’t break down. Not here, not now. They need her. Homura needs her. Sweet, innocent, lovely little Homura.
This is her duty, is it not? To protect people. To make them feel safe and ensure that no harm ever comes to them.
I’m going to try my best for you.
That’s all we could ever ask for.
You can do it, my sweetheart! Take my love and mold it into your future!
Yeah, what she said. Take my love too, okay?
We’ll be here, waiting for you.
Yeah…okay…Thank you.
We’re out of room.
Mami laughs lightly, choking down her tears. She glances over to see Kyoko hiding her face, her hair undone to hide herself in the curtain of dull red. Mami smiles to herself, somehow knowing that she’s not much better off.
We’re never out of room.
Especially when it comes to you!
Homura, silly, you have two whole legs to use!
You use the legs too!?
It’s Kyoko who laughs this time. She leans onto the table with one arm, sighing in something akin to relief and delight at the same time.
“Silly girl,” she whispers. Mami catches it and stores it deep in her memory, so she’ll never forget it. The wispy smile she can just barely see ghosting across the edge of Kyoko’s face is enough to mean the world.
Well, we certainly don’t use them often. But when it’s required, we can even get quite creative.
Is there…more…after the legs?
Homura, you don’t have any idea how hard it is to write on your own back so that it can be read in a mirror.
…I’m certain that’s not possible.
Wanna bet?
Now you have me scared.
There’s a short pause. Sayaka is right, though, they have all used their backs before. It was…quite hard, in fact. But they certainly made do.
To fill the empty space and busy herself with simply doing something, Mami takes a sip of tea. It’s a little cold now.
Check your back, sweetheart.
Another pause. Then,
Oh my god.
Mami barks out a laugh at the same time Kyoko does. They turn to each other with matching grins. Mami’s glad they can put all the harsh mortality stuff aside and just have fun with each other again.
It’s refreshing.
“Ooh!” Mami shouts, an idea coming to her. She turns around quickly, grabbing her shirt and lifting it to present her back to Kyoko. “Tell me what it says!”
Kyoko sputters something but goes silent a second later. A long, silent moment passes.
Mami turns her head to look back at Kyoko with a questioning expression. Kyoko’s staring intently at her back, not looking up to acknowledge Mami turning. Madoka’s handwriting must be even worse than last time or something.
Kyoko clears her throat, coughing softly. “It, uh, it says,” she almost stutters out, her eyes narrowing. She takes a quick breath that has connotations that are lost on Mami. “It says ‘Hi Homura’ with three exclamation points. And then, ‘Love you so so much’ with a crudely-drawn heart.”
Mami cackles, dropping her shirt and turning back around, leaning onto the table. Those two seem to never get enough of each other. Mami’s surprised they’ve never actually met based on how they treat each other now.
I can’t believe it…
Mami looks back down, reading the writing appearing on her lower leg now.
I can’t believe you just did that.
Impressive, right?!
It was certainly something.
Oh it was more than just something!
Mami finishes off her tea again, setting the cup down with a quiet clunk. She notices how Kyoko is leaning on the table, her weight propped up on just one arm. She wonders, for just a single moment, whether or not things have mended enough between them for her to grab that hand halfway across the table.
She shakes the thought away just a second later. What they have right now is too fragile.
All she really wants is to be here with Kyoko. That’s enough.
I watched her do it. It was quite the spectacle.
Hehe!
I’m in awe.
You’ll learn how to do the same thing soon enough.
Oh yes, you won’t have a choice in that.
Please spare me.
Mami wants so, so badly to be able to spend every waking moment like this. She wants to be surrounded by this warmth, by this love, for the rest of her life. She thinks she would like nothing more.
“We’re enough, right?” Kyoko asks suddenly, looking up. Her expression is blank, her eyes somewhere far from here. “We can protect them, can’t we?”
“We have to be,” Mami responds instantly. “We don’t have another choice.”
“I don’t want to die before I meet them,” Kyoko whispers back, turning to Mami with a scared expression. This time, Mami doesn’t think twice: she reaches across the table and grabs Kyoko’s hand with her own.
“You won’t,” she assures, nodding resolutely. “We’re going to be there for them. Together, okay?”
Kyoko drags a shaky breath in through her mouth. She nods her head slightly, not quite believing Mami but quite obviously wanting so, so badly to trust her. It’s clear that she wants to hope too.
“I’ll be here with you,” Mami says gently. She doesn’t care about the consequences anymore. She knows their time is limited. She always has. “For as long as you want me, okay?”
Kyoko nods again, this time harder. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”
“And sometime soon, when Homura comes back to us…” Mami pauses, biting her lip and considering her next words carefully. “We can give her a warm welcome back. Together.” Kyoko’s eyes widen. “I mean, if that’s something you’d like—”
“Okay,” Kyoko says, squeezing Mami’s hand once. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
Mami sighs in relief. “You’ll always have a place here.” She hopes her smile conveys just how much she means that.
“Thanks.” Kyoko wipes her eyes on her sleeve, sniffling lightly. “Thank you, Mami.”
Mami chews the inside of her lip, contemplating a lot of things at once. Kyoko’s been through a lot, she knows that firsthand. She knows that they still have opposing views on a lot of things, and she knows that she could never hope to fill the hole in Kyoko’s heart. But maybe she can help patch just a small portion.
Kyoko always was the most sensitive of them.
“Hey, Kyoko,” Mami whispers, leaning forward. Kyoko blinks, rubbing at her eyes with a tiny smile. She hums in acknowledgement. Mami takes the plunge. “I love you. I never stopped loving you, not for a second.”
Kyoko’s breath hitches, suddenly caught on something deep in the recesses of her emotions. Mami smiles gently and comfortingly. She rubs her thumb over the back of Kyoko’s hand, wishing to believe that this was enough.
“I just thought you should know,” Mami finishes, leaning back. Kyoko catches her, her hand shooting up and grasping at Mami’s arm. Mami raises an eyebrow, curious.
Kyoko, somehow, seems to whine and grumble at the same time. Her expression is conflicted and her eyes are darting all around the room, but the words seem to be too much to handle for her. Mami simply places her other hand on top of Kyoko’s, smiling down at it.
“I love you too, okay?” Kyoko finally manages, hiding her face behind her bangs. As if Mami would miss the slight hiccup in her voice. “I always have.”
A deep, burning warmth rises through Mami from the inside. It reaches her heart, and she can’t help but break out into what must be the widest grin she’s ever sported. She's just so happy she can’t contain it.
Mami wastes no time at all. She jumps up, Kyoko’s head snapping up to her. Then she walks around the table and sits right in front of Kyoko, silently raising an eyebrow for permission. Kyoko swallows thickly and then nods without a word between them.
Mami wraps her in a hug. She hopes it’s as warm and comforting as she wants it to be. All she’s ever wanted was for Kyoko to be able to confide in her. She’s wanted, so desperately, to be able to provide for Kyoko in the way she herself hadn’t had in so long.
Mami misses her parents. Not a single day goes by where she doesn’t think about them.
She knows Kyoko must be feeling something so frighteningly similar. And all Mami wants is to find a way to fill that void. She just wants Kyoko to stop running from her. She wants Kyoko to be here, next to her, wrapped up in a hug for the rest of time.
Kyoko sniffles again, suddenly burying herself in Mami’s neck and wrapping her arms tightly around her back. Mami smiles, rubbing small, gentle circles into Kyoko’s back. Kyoko sobs lightly, trying her best to hold them back.
“I know,” Mami whispers, her lips brushing against Kyoko’s ear. “I know, love. Just let it out.”
Kyoko bawls.
Even if they can only be like this for these short, simple moments, that will be enough. They will be enough. They have to be.
They’re going to protect them, the two of them are.
Inevitably, hopefully sometime far in the future, Mami and Kyoko will have to hold their other three soulmates close and tell them of the horrors hiding in this world. But Mami knows that if Kyoko’s beside her the whole time, silently squeezing her hand tight and being ready to protect them with all her heart, everything will turn out okay.
She has to believe that.
She has to.
I will protect you.
Mami’s heart drops.
Everything rushes back to her, all at once.
Kyoko’s standing across from her on the rooftop, a similarly stricken expression on her face. She turns to Mami, clearly terrified.
“No,” Kyoko whispers, stumbling back. Mami shakes her head in disbelief. “No, she can’t have.”
“She didn’t,” Mami breathes, turning back down to her arm. “It’s not possible.”
“Yeah,” Kyoko responds quietly, her eyes still wide. She pulls a pen from nowhere and clicks it, placing its tip against her skin shakily. “It’s not possible.”
Who?
A pause. Mami’s blood runs cold, her heart pumping with sudden adrenaline.
Sure as hell better not be me.
Mami turns away, placing her hands against her head. It’s not real. It can’t be.
They’re making a big deal out of nothing. It didn’t happen. Homura meant something else, she must have. She only woke up this morning, she must still be delirious from the medication.
“She’s just confused,” Kyoko says, her voice taking a steel edge. “They must have upped her dose or something.”
Mami nods, but she doesn’t believe her. She can tell Kyoko doesn’t even believe herself.
Sure thing.
Yes. It’s a delusion. A joke. It’s something totally harmless.
Mami can feel the eyeroll that comes with Sayaka’s words. She wishes she could be as flippant. But it has to be nothing, Sayaka has to have the right idea.
It’s Homura, lying in a white hospital room, barely unable to see because she doesn’t have her glasses on. She’s just woken up from a particularly vivid dream, or she’s been possessed by a sudden need to express her love in her own way. It’s the medication making her say nonsensical things.
It has to be.
Mami can’t bring herself to write any sort of words back. Her hands are shaking too much. She leaves a simple smiley face, forcing herself to breathe.
Awww, that’s so sweet Homura!
Yes. It’s sweet. That’s all it is. Just a sweet little message left by a tired, hyped up Akemi Homura.
I love you, sweetheart!
And then her arm goes silent.
Mami stares down at it for a few long, dreadful minutes. She waits for something more, anything more. She wills something into existence that will disprove her theory, but nothing comes.
Kyoko wraps her arms around Mami’s shoulders from behind, drawing her in.
“She’s gone back to sleep,” Kyoko whispers, softly petting down Mami’s hair. Mami closes her eyes, sighing a shaky, deep breath out. “It’s not what we’re thinking, okay? She was just in-between dreams, okay?”
“Tell me she didn’t,” Mami responds, a hand coming up to grasp at Kyoko’s. “Tell me I’m overthinking nothing at all."
There’s a long, drawn out pause. Mami holds her breath.
“She didn’t,” Kyoko says. Her voice is shaky, but she sounds sure of herself. “We’re freaking out over nothing. She didn’t die. She didn’t make a Wish.”
Mami squeezes her eyes shut, wanting so badly to believe those words.
It isn’t until much later that the horrific truth comes to light.
Kyoko drops her spear. It clinks against the floor of the labyrinth, filling the silent room with the sound of hopelessness.
Mami’s gun slips from her grip. She looks over at Kyoko, completely frozen from head to toe.
“You feel it too,” Kyoko says simply. She falls to her knees, tears already slipping from her cheeks.
“She did it,” Mami whispers, stumbling back against the wall. She slips down it, slowly falling to the floor in complete dejection.
They’re both silent for a moment. They can feel the surge of magical power gathering halfway across the city. Their Souls are attuned to it, Mami supposes.
But it doesn’t matter how they know it. They just do.
“Homura made a Wish,” Kyoko whimpers, bending over in agony. She beats a hand against the bright colors of the floor in a futile attempt to express her despair. “She’s like us now.”
“This is a good thing,” Mami says blankly. She has to believe that. She just has to. “We can be there for her. She’ll understand us, we’ll understand her. This is okay.”
“Fuck, Mami!” Kyoko shouts, beating her hand harder against the floor of the empty Labyrinth. “Fuck!”
“We’ll die together,” Mami supposes, smiling wistfully up at the colorful ceiling. They’ll be together now, won’t they? “We’ll all die together.”
“We’ll die early. We’ll leave them behind.”
A sudden burst of power. Something washes over Mami that seeps away at her essence.
“Oh.”
And everything goes white, erased back into the slipstream.
When time clicks back in place, Mami is none the wiser.
It’s not like she ever had a soulmate to look forward to anyway.