Chapter Text
Kaworu had grown wings.
It'd happened so suddenly and without warning that Shinji found himself completely dumbstruck the first time he'd seen him with the newly grown appendages. He'd only ever seen wings like those depicted in things like old Renaissance paintings; huge, elegantly tapering masses of white feathers and down that spanned from the backs of fair-toned angels. He'd never expected to actually be faced with that exact thing in his life, even with the open-mindedness that came with being an Eva pilot. He'd seen gigantic beasts fall from space, the apparent creator of all life on the planet, and all kinds of mind-boggling technology and weaponry that he could've never dreamed of... and yet, he couldn't help but stand and stare at the appearance of his silver-haired friend framed by two folded wings protruding from his back.
Shinji almost felt stupid for being so fixated on them. Of course, he already knew that Kaworu was an angel, and if he really thought about it, it almost made more sense that he'd have wings than if he was a completely normal looking person; although, Shinji reminded himself, most normal people didn't look anything like him even disregarding the wings. Shinji spent so much time around him that he'd gotten used to the way Kaworu looked, and sometimes, he could really forget that Kaworu wasn't even a human, because he just seemed so much like one. But he couldn't fool himself anymore; not when those wings held so much presence.
He often found himself staring at them, even though he felt rude doing so. They were gigantic, even when they were folded. Kaworu often seemed to tuck them in tighter whenever he walked, because otherwise, the shiny, white feathers at the tips would brush the floor. They were voluminous, many-layered with varying lengths of feather, and Shinji couldn't help but find it interesting how the color of them shifted from a grey similar to his hair at the base, to a pure white at the tip.
The thing was, Kaworu had had those wings for about a month now, and everyone else seemed used to them. Ritsuko, Misato and the rest of Nerv staff barely blinked at the sight of him, and Asuka and Rei treated him pretty much the same as they did before. It really felt like Shinji was the only one still bothered by them, though he thought that was likely due to the fact they spent so much time together.
But even still, Shinji felt strangely embarrassed by his fixation. Every time he saw his friend now, his eyes would immediately flick towards them, before he hurriedly refocused his attention on Kaworu's face, trying to resist the urge to stare.
It was nearly impossible not to in the bathing room. Every time Kaworu took a shower, the wings would get drenched, so he'd sit in the onsen afterwards, spreading them out fully over the edge of the tub to let them dry. If Shinji ever joined him in the bath - which he usually did happily at Kaworu's insistence - he was very conscious of the way one was always behind him no matter how far away he sat. Shinji remembered flushing intensely at the thought of how it was almost as if Kaworu was throwing an arm over his shoulder to hold him closer.
But most embarrassing of all to Shinji was the strange, intense desire he felt to touch them. For whatever reason, Shinji couldn't seem to stop wondering what they'd feel like. They looked so soft and smooth, and Shinji really wanted to know if they felt like it too, but he refrained from making any kind of move to fall into his desire.
He felt worried that Kaworu might not like it if he touched them, and he was far too nervous to ask. Kaworu didn't really talk about them much, and Shinji didn't want to draw attention to them if it was something his friend was self-conscious of or unhappy with. As much as they stuck out, he really tried his best to pretend as if they weren't there at all. But, if he was honest, he wasn't doing a great job at that.
After all, Kaworu had noticed.
Shinji hadn't expected it when Kaworu suddenly looked over at him as they listened to music together in his room, relaxing on Kaworu's bed. Shinji hurriedly looked away from his wings, and met those familiar, piercing eyes.
"Shinji-kun, does my appearance unsettle you?"
Shinji blinked at him, fiddling mindlessly with his SDAT player as he said, "O-Oh, not at all! I was only, uh, spacing out, y'know?"
Kaworu laughed lightly, watching Shinji's attempted reassuring smile, which faltered as he responded, "You really are cute. But you needn't lie; I know what you were looking at." He emphasized the point by gently ruffling a wing.
Shinji felt his heart make a strange sort of lurch from the combination of being caught and being called cute as Kaworu leaned forwards slightly, taking out one of his earbuds.
"If they bother you, I truly don't mind you telling me so."
Shinji felt heat spread up his face and he looked down, taking out his own earbud, though he didn't speak.
Kaworu leaned forwards a little more. "Shinji-kun...?" he murmured coaxingly, tilting his head.
Shinji sighed, not looking directly at him as he said, "W-Well... it's not that they bother me in a bad way or anything, but..." he shrugged shaking his head. "It's just kind of weird, I guess."
Kaworu hummed his understanding. "Yes, it's been weird for me too."
Shinji looked up at him again. "Has it?" he asked quietly.
Kaworu smiled widely. "Well, growing a whole new set of limbs is hardly something I can just shrug off."
Shinji shifted embarrassedly at his tone, realizing that should've been obvious. "Alright, yeah... you just always seem so cool about it..." he muttered.
Kaworu chuckled again. "I'm glad it seems that way. I wouldn't want to worry you, Shinji-kun."
Shinji fingered the SDAT still in his hands as he said, "You really don't have to fuss over me... I don't mind worrying over you at all if you wanted to talk about them."
Kaworu gave him a warm look which Shinji found hard to meet. "You really are kind. But I assure you, I'm quite alright. I've been adjusting to them just fine."
Shinji nodded his understanding, and he allowed himself to look back at the feathery masses which were slightly unfurled upon the bed's surface. He felt the question he'd been holding back for weeks form on his tongue, but he held back, still feeling anxious.
Kaworu gave him that kind, knowing look. He narrowed his eyes playfully as he said, "Shinji-kun, would you like to touch them?"
Shinji stammered slightly, blinking at him. "C-Can I?"
Kaworu laughed a little. "Of course you may," he offered easily, inclining his head.
Shinji's eyes dragged down to one of his wings, and he felt embarrassed by his own anxious excitement. He reached out a hand, wondering what part of it he should touch first as Kaworu unfolded it farther; there was just so much.
He gingerly touched his fingers to the surface, and rested his palm on the fullest area where the feathers were the longest. He ran his hand downwards and had to repress a sound of wonderment. It was even softer than he'd imagined. The feathers felt pleasantly cool beneath his fingers, but warmed quickly at his touch. He brought his hand back up after he'd stroked the length of it, feeling almost entranced.
Shinji replaced his hand higher up, in a spot on the inside of his wing. He applied a little more force this time, less worried that he might hurt Kaworu in some way. As he stroked the spot a few times, the wing joints relaxed, and he heard Kaworu let out a long sigh.
He looked at Kaworu's face, observing his serene expression. His eyelids fluttered open, and he met Shinji's eye with a contented smile.
"It feels very nice when you touch it like that," he murmured.
"Ah," Shinji responded, "Like this?"
He smoothed down the fluffy, shorter feathers on the inside of his wing again, and Kaworu leaned some more weight into his hand, nodding and closing his eyes once more.
Shinji continued his gentle petting, happy that he was making Kaworu feel so relaxed. To him, it always felt like Kaworu was the one comforting him, so repaying the favor a little was gratifying. Plus, pampering him like this made it so that Shinji could admire his soft features without fear of being called out.
After a few more moments though, he looked back down at the white feathers, and began moving his hand upwards again, towards the apex of the wing. He trailed his fingers over the backbone. He could tell that it was powerful and sturdy, even beneath the wonderfully fuzzy down that covered its surface, and he could feel the strong muscles surrounding it flex at his touch.
But then, he paused, suddenly aware that Kaworu's body was shaking lightly, and he looked back at him, just in time to see him let out a bright laugh. The sight of Kaworu smiling broadly with a very light dusting of pink across his cheeks was enough to make Shinji stare.
Kaworu covered his mouth with a hand, trying to hide his smile as he said, "Very sorry, Shinji-kun. I-It seems I'm rather ticklish there."
Shinji continued to stare for a moment, but then he smiled too, suddenly met with the thought of how cute Kaworu looked when he laughed like that. He kind of wanted to see more.
"You mean here?" he asked, curling his fingers lightly over the same spot.
Kaworu shook again and tensed, clearly trying to suppress his laughter. "Y-Yes, there!" he choked out.
Shinji's smile widened and he began tickling the spot he found most sensitive. Kaworu squirmed wildly, trying to pull his wing away from Shinji's fingers, but he couldn't tuck them in any farther. All he could do was scoot backwards on the bed and blurt out near incoherent protest which were drowned out by his bright laughs.
Shinji mercilessly continued his attack, smiling wider and wider, unable to help it. Kaworu was always so composed and eloquent, and yet now, he was completely lost in giggles and writhing limbs, and Shinji couldn't get enough of it.
"A-Ah! Shinji-ku-" he shook his head, trying to beat away Shinji's hand between laughs. "Shinji-kun! N-No more!"
Shinji started laughing too then, Kaworu's expression far too contagious not to contract.
Kaworu fell backwards in his haste to escape, and pushed his head into his pillows, still trying to squirm away. Shinji took the opportunity to reach over and start tickling the other wing, supporting himself over Kaworu's flailing body.
Kaworu's hair was all over the place, far messier than normal, strewn over his pillow. He pushed his hands up into Shinji's chest, and even beneath his determination to keep his fingers pressed into the sensitive feathers, he couldn't help but notice that Kaworu wasn't using much force at all, almost as if he didn't really want Shinji off him.
After a few more moments though, he finally relented, lifting his hands a little. He watched Kaworu still, letting out a few more laughs as he breathed heavily, wide smile still not leaving his face.
Smiling too, Shinji caught his breath and stared down at Kaworu. He was positively glowing pink now, and Shinji had no choice but to admire the way his blush reached his ears and crept down towards his chest, making his white skin look even softer than usual. He looked disheveled, hair fluffed up and shirt wrinkled - so unlike his usual elegant self, but Shinji didn't care. He looked just as pretty as he always did.
Kaworu opened his eyes, which glimmered playfully as he stared up at Shinji.
"Dear me, how tricky you are, Shinji-kun. It seems as if the Seventeenth Angel has finally been neutralized." He draped an arm over his forehead and made a dramatic display of letting out a long, 'final' breath, before laying still, closing his eyes again.
Shinji laughed as he responded, "Come on, Kaworu-kun, I was only messing around!"
Kaworu remained immobile, and Shinji replaced his hands on his shoulders, shaking him as he said, still smiling, "Kaworu-kun, stop that! Seriously, I wasn't trying to trick you." He continued shaking his shoulders. "Hey, come on, I'm sorry, alright? I won't do it again," he tried appealing, but the waver in his voice displayed how he was still holding back from laughing.
Kaworu's lip twitched upwards, and then a split second later, Shinji was lost in a whirl of movement and feathers as Kaworu flipped him over and held himself up over him. Shinji let out a sound of surprise, blinking up at the winged figure nearly covering his body.
"Aha! You have let down your A.T. Field!" He smiled widely. "I'd've expected a veteran Eva pilot like you to be more cautious, but it seems like you've underestimated my power!" At his final word, he suddenly jerked his arms towards Shinji's sides and poked his fingers into them.
Shinji squawked, dissolving into embarrassing giggles as Kaworu tickled him just as intently as he'd been tickled.
"N-No! Please, p-please, Kawo -ah! Kaworu-kun!" He squirmed, incredibly self-conscious of how he was kicking his feet and how cracked his voice was. "I-I said I was so- ha! - sorry!" he choked.
Kaworu lifted his hands - a lot sooner than Shinji had - and Shinji lay gasping, turning his head to the side and impulsively covering his face with the back of his hand, though he couldn't repress his smile.
He heard Kaworu let out that familiar warm, teasing laugh. "Now," he said gently grasping Shinji's wrist and pulling it away so that he could see his blushing face, "we may die together."
He flopped down, half on Shinji's body, half on the bed, somehow making the movement graceful. He resumed his motionless stature from before, and Shinji was left squirming beneath the weight of a boy slightly heavier than himself and a giant, weighty wing thrown over his torso like a fluffy blanket.
He laughed nervously despite himself, giving up his struggle. He realized then how simultaneously exciting and frightening it was to be this physical with Kaworu, but tried to calm his nerves as he said, “Y-You're so dramatic, Kaworu-kun... all I did was tickle you a little."
Kaworu lifted himself up, taking away the weight upon Shinji's body - though Shinji realized only once it was gone how really nice it'd felt - and he laid on his side, holding his head up by an arm to watch Shinji.
"Well, I was only making us even. I can’t just let you toy with me without toying with you back. It's a much too inviting prospect," he grinned, leaning in.
Shinji shrunk under his gaze, feeling his cheeks burn even more at his tone and choice of words. Just as usual, he seemed to know exactly just how to make Shinji's insides flutter.
Kaworu hummed gently, watching Shinji's face. His gaze grew softer and his smile less teasing as he said, "It truly does make me happy to see you comfortable with these wings." Shinji finally met his eye again as he continued, "I've been afraid that you might dislike my company because of them. I'd hate for you to grow distant from me."
Shinji sighed at the way Kaworu's tone grew sullen, feeling desperate to resolve his insecurity. "N-No, Kaworu-kun... I don't think anything could make me hate hanging out with you." He looked down. "Y-You know I... I like you a lot, and that won't change no matter how many new limbs you grow." Kaworu laughed and Shinji smiled.
"A-And anyway," he said, feeling very embarrassed, but knowing he ought to admit it, "they're really pretty. They s-suit you since... since you're already pretty anyway..." he trailed off, wishing that he could sink away through the bed. "I like them a lot, actually."
"Oh, Shinji-kun," Kaworu said in a honeyed voice that made Shinji's heart skip. "Thank you so much." He pulled Shinji into a sideways hug, and he gasped, unable to help it. His warmth seeped into Shinji’s body, and Kaworu draped his wing over his waist once more, this time letting it curl over his back like a satiny, smooth fabric.
He smiled into Kaworu's chest, raising a hand to touch the feathers on the inside of his wing again. With the bulk of it stretched out to cover Shinji's body, he could easily run his fingers over the fluffy spot right where wing met back.
Kaworu let out a contented, happy hum, and he pulled Shinji a little closer, allowing him to scritch the spot more easily. It was incredibly warm, the feathers having been heated by his skin, and it felt almost like scratching the fur behind a cat's ears. Shinji felt his smile widen as he realized that Kaworu's reaction was pretty similar to a cat’s too.
He sighed happily, feeling Kaworu's wing spread even more heat into his body. He curled up more comfortably under it, feeling incredibly secure under its mass. Laying here beside Kaworu, he realized he'd never felt safer.
"I think I could really get used to this," he let out softly, closing his eyes, continuing to stroke the wing's fluff.
Kaworu laughed gently. "Yes," he breathed.
"I suppose I could too."