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It was over.
The Collector had been stripped of their powers. Belos had finally been defeated. They had all banded together to stop the other Collectors from destroying the Boiling Isles.
They had done it.
Luz watched all of them celebrating at a distance, a sad and yet happy smile forming on her face. Willow’s parents had found her, and Gus’s father had waded over to his son through the sea of reunited families. Alador had found his way to Amity and given her a humongous hug. Amity stood there for a moment and then, with tears welling up in her eyes, she hugged him back, perhaps even harder. Edric, even with his full body cast, and Emira had made their way over to them, and the family was now fully together again. Minus Odalia, but who cared about what happened to her?
King, Eda, and Lilith had all surrounded Hooty and were giving him a Titan-sized hug. Hunter was watching them from a small distance when Camila sidled up next to him and pulled him into a one-armed hug. Hunter turned to Luz’s mother and suddenly embraced her, tears flowing down his face.
Willow disconnected from her dads and made her way over to Hunter; the Grimwalker turned to her as she grabbed his hand, standing on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. For a moment, Luz thought Hunter would burn to ashes from all the blushing he was doing.
Everybody was together again. The fight was done.
Which meant it was time to go.
Luz hadn't even told anyone yet. She still couldn't seem to find the right words. Maybe she never would. Maybe she could just leave and never return. No explanation, leaving nothing behind. It'd be like she was never here. Luz considered the idea for a moment, then mentally threw it into the garbage can.
They deserved to hear goodbye, at least.
But how could she say it?
With a sigh, Luz turned her back on the celebration and began making her way through the forest.
Suddenly Stringbean flew in front of her, momentarily nuzzling her cheek. Luz gave a slight chuckle. “Hey.” She let the palisman land in her palms before turning back to the party. “Well? What's it gonna be?”
Stringbean cocked his head questioningly.
Luz jerked her head to all her friends. “You could stay here. You'd have a home, and friends, I think you would like it here.” She turned her head to the clearing where everyone was. “I know I did.”
Stringbean only hissed before slithering up Luz’s arm to her shoulder, once again rubbing against her cheek. Luz laughed.
“Thank you. It's nice to know I'll have something to remember this place by.” She began walking further into the forest, her palisman still perched on her shoulder.
“Hey!” A voice called from behind her.
Luz froze. No, no, no, not her. She didn't want to face her, not now. She needed to go. But she couldn't move. Or maybe she wouldn't move.
“You didn't think I wouldn't notice you leaving, did you? The party’s this way!” Luz could hear her footsteps growing louder, just like she could feel her heartbeat beating out of her chest. She took a deep breath and plastered on another smile for Amity.
She turned to her girlfriend, her smile feeling so fake, but she knew it was looking real; she‘d had enough practice.
She forced a laugh through, saying, “Sorry, I was just thinking about taking a walk.”
Amity, perceptive as always, could tell something was wrong. But she didn't push it, because she knew it wouldn't work with Luz. So, instead, she asked:
“Do you mind if I join you?”
Luz’s eyes widened only a fraction, and she wouldn't allow them to open any farther in the hopes that her girlfriend wouldn't catch the alarm in her eyes. Amity knew something was up, of course she did, and now she was going to try to coax it out of her. What did she do? If she said no, she would definitely know something was wrong, but if she said yes, that would allow her to figure out what was wrong.
Even worse, if she said yes, it would mean that Luz would have to say goodbye to Amity, face to face. Luz didn't think her heart could take it. (Luz’s heart, that is; Luz knew Amity had a heart of steel.)
But, then again, saying yes also meant she would be able to spend her last moments on the Boiling Isles with her girlfriend.
Luz really wanted that.
Luz nodded, putting on another sad smile. “Of course not,” She said. Amity turned to wave to her family, who waved back, Edric making kissy faces at them, which looked utterly ridiculous with him in his cast. He even managed to fall over while doing it, and Emira’s laughs and Edric’s screams of pain rang through the evening as the couple began to walk into the forest.
“Do you know where we're going?” Amity asked.
Luz did. Her destination was the archway where the portal had been previously located, but she wanted this moment with Amity to last, so she merely shook her head. “Not really,” She lied. “Do you?”
Amity smiled. “I've got the perfect place in mind.” She outstretched her hand to Luz, and after a moment’s reluctance, she rested her palm in hers. The lavender-haired which pulled Luz forward with a laugh, and Luz involuntarily returned the laugh. The two of them wound through the trees, catching glimpses of Hexside and Bonesborough through the purple leaves.
“Where are we going?” Luz asked after a few minutes of walking.
“You’ll see in a bit,” Amity responded.
A few moments later they entered a clearing where a ginormous tree with beautiful pink leaves overlooked a view of the Boiling Sea below. The moon was just rising, emitting glorious beams of silver and gray, glittering off the sea below.
Luz recognized the place immediately, and it only made the heartache inside her all the more intense.
Amity, though not clueless about Luz’s feelings, didn't notice her growing forlorn expression. She sat down at the base of the tree and patted the tufts of grass next to her, a small, kind smile on her face. Luz took a deep breath and sat down next to her, her knees to her chest and her wrists resting on her knees. She hesitantly turned to Amity, but she was busy staring out into the horizon, enjoying the view.
A light breeze washed over them and made the leaves above them look like they were shivering. Luz joined them in shaking while Amity only closed her eyes and breathed in the wind. Her cotton-candy hair gently swayed around her as the rays of moonlight made her pale cheeks shine like they were made of snow. She turned her head to Luz and smiled, such a happy, loving smile that it made Luz’s heart feel like it was going to burst.
“Amity, what are we doing here?” She asked.
Amity rubbed her hand against the trunk of the tree. “I wanted to ask you something.”
Luz nervously twiddled her thumbs. There was a very good chance that she was going to ask her what was going on with her, and Luz wasn't sure if she was ready to say it yet. But the question Amity asked wasn't anything of the sort.
“Did you ever figure out who I wanted to invite to Grom?”
Luz blinked. “Uh... No.” She stopped fidgeting for a moment. “Who was it?”
Amity paused for a moment before speaking. “Funny enough, it was Boscha.”
Luz did a double take. “ Excuse me? ”
Amity burst out laughing. She sat there clutching her stomach as her laughter overcame her, tears springing to her eyes as Luz tried frantically to figure out whether or not she had been joking.
“No, no, it wasn't Boscha,” She assured her after a while.
Luz breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank Titan for that. Then who was it?”
Amity raised her eyebrows, a disbelieving smile on her face. She really couldn't figure it out yet?
Luz stared at her for a moment, confused, before her eyes widened, and she finally realized. She slapped her hand to her forehead and fell back against the tree. “ Me? ”
Amity laughed. “Yes, you, Luz.”
Luz groaned, covering her face with her hands. “I'm so stupid.”
“No, you're not.” She responded, lightly slapping her leg. “You’re the smartest human I know.”
“Amity, you only know two humans!”
“You still are.” She said with a smile, before realizing what she had said. “Wait, I just said your mom was dumber than you! No, no, forget I said that!”
Luz began to laugh, but it caught in her throat as she remembered that this may be her last night with Amity.
Amity grabbed her hand. It was obvious that she had noticed her smile dropping. “Alright, maybe that question was more of a tension breaker. What I really wanted to ask you was... if you were okay.”
“I'm fine.” The words had left Luz’s mouth before she had had time to think. Of course they had; it was Luz’s natural response.
Amity squeezed her hand. “Are you?” She asked.
Luz stared into her eyes for a moment. She deserved the truth, she knew that. Why did it have to be so hard to say it?
“I'm— No, I'm not.” She let go of a breath she didn't know she was holding in. She'd gotten this far, at least. “I don't know, a lot is going on in my head right now.” Stringbean nuzzled her cheek affectionately. Amity smiled sympathetically.
“You wouldn't be the only one. But don't worry too much about it. We have all the time in the world to figure things out now.” She said nonchalantly.
Luz could feel tears forming in the corners of her eyes. She had to tell her, now, before anything else was said. She didn't think she'd be able to if this went on any longer.
“Amity, I—” The words caught in her throat. She tried again. But the words wouldn't leave her mouth. She couldn't speak. Not now. She couldn't ruin this moment, this beautiful moment with her girlfriend that she loved.
So, with a heart so heavy she was surprised it wasn't falling any further than her stomach, she kissed her cheek. “I just wanted to say that I love you.” She rested her head on her shoulder.
Amity kissed her on the top of her head. “And I love you.”
Luz squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to let any tears escape. “Goodbye,” she mouthed, no sound passing her lips.
The two of them fell asleep just like that, together, for one last time. And Stringbean, now in the form of a bird, hooted mournfully into the night, knowing what the morning would bring.
Luz stood in front of the archway, a vial of King’s blood in her right hand. Stringbean was perched on her shoulder when he gave her another questioning hiss.
Luz nodded. “I'm sure.”
“Mija, please.”
She turned to face her mother standing next to her. Camila shook her head. “This isn't the right choice.”
Luz held the vial in her hands. “I'm sorry, mamá, but it's the best one. It's better for everyone.”
“I don't want you to regret this.”
“I won't. I'll miss this place,” She turned around to face the woods beyond her. “But I won't regret leaving. They'll be happy. And I'll find some way to be happy, too. Someday.”
Was it the truth? Maybe. Maybe her mom was right, and she would regret this decision. She probably would. But leaving would mean nobody else could get hurt because of her, because of her mistakes. Leaving was best for everyone, even if it would make her miserable.
Luz turned around again and uncorked the bottle of blood. She tipped the bottle until a drop of blood dripped down onto the stone below. Another drop. Another.
Suddenly, the portal appeared in a flash. The door of dark colors swirled in front of them, tantalizing. Just a few steps forward and she’d be back on Earth.
She turned to her mother. “You ready to go home?”
Camila turned to her with tears in her eyes. “It may be mine, Luz. But this, all of this,” She waved her hands to the forest. “This is yours, Luz. This is where you belong.”
Luz gave her a sad smile. “Maybe it is, mamá. But I can't stay here.”
“Yes, you can!” Camila exclaimed. “Stay here. You have Titan’s Blood, you can visit us. Stay here, and live a life where you belong. With Amity, Gus, Willow, Hunter, and everyone! You deserve to be with them.”
“I don't want to hurt any more people, mom!” She yelled, then recoiled. “I'm sorry, I just... Please, let’s go.”
Camila took a sad step through the portal, and Luz was just about to follow when she felt something sticky hit the back of her head. She whirled around and saw Amity standing farther off, Abomination goop hovering around her. She looked mad.
Luz only stared at her, slightly afraid, but mostly sad that she still had to face her. “Hi, Amity.”
“Don’t!” She yelled back. “Don’t you dare “Hi, Amity” me! Do you think you can leave us all forever without saying goodbye? Without saying anything?! ”
“I'm sorry, Amity,” Luz said, not even raising her voice. “I really am.”
“Oh, you’re sorry! Oh, well, that really helps; thanks for much for apologizing!” Sarcasm was oozing out of every syllable as she pelted Luz with Abomination pellets. Luz didn't even put up a fight; she knew she deserved it.
“You can't just leave a letter, Noceda! We deserved a goodbye, at the very least! But no, you thought it best to just get up and ditch everyone with a few written words. What is wrong with you?!”
Those words seem to echo through Luz’s mind, bouncing off one wall to another, infinitely back and forth until it was so loud she couldn't hear her anymore. She felt something break inside her.
“EVERYTHING’S WRONG WITH ME!” She screamed.
Amity froze, her abomination goop dropping down to earth. The entire forest seemed to have fallen silent, even the wind had settled so no leaves could rustle. The portal behind Luz diminished as she took a step toward her girlfriend, but she had extra Titan’s Blood, so she didn’t have to worry too much about it. She took a deep breath and finally managed to find the words to say.
“This was all my fault. I brought Belos to the Collector, Amity. And I know he tricked me!” She added because Amity showed every sign of interrupting her, most likely to argue. “He could've tricked anybody! But he still tricked me. ” She clenched her fists. “I'm never going to be able to forgive myself for that, no matter what you or anybody else says.
“Luz, you can't blame yourself for everything—“
“Oh, I can't? Well, let’s see, The Collectors almost destroyed the Boiling Isles because the smaller Collector was abusing their power. And they would never have been able to do that if King hadn't freed them from their prison, and, oh wait, that prison would never have been found if I hadn't helped Belos find it all those years ago! So, yes, Amity. I can blame myself for all of this.”
Amity stood there speechless. Luz was on the verge of tears, her voice shaking with every word.
“You’re wondering why I’m leaving? Without even saying anything?” She put her hands up. “What is there to say? You’re all better off without me.” Luz turned around, reaching in her pocket for the vial of Titan’s Blood, but when she pulled it out a strand of Abomination goo reached out and snatched it from her hand.
“Hey!”
“Luz, how could you say that?” Amity exclaimed, the vial in her hand. “Who cares about what you’ve done? You’ve done so much more good than harm!”
“No! Don’t you go there!” Luz said, storming up to her. “I know what I’ve done for all of you, I really do! I helped you be somebody you actually want to be. I helped Willow finally stand up for herself, and now she’s amazing! I’ve helped so many people, Amity; I know that! But that doesn’t mean much when you’re the reason they need help in the first place, does it?”
“Luz, I burnt Willow’s memories, remember?” She bit back. “I went into her head, not because I wanted to be friends again, which I did, but because I didn’t want that going on my track record! I tried to dissect you the first day we met! Or did you forget about that bratty jerk I used to be?”
Luz opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again. She growled and stomped away, Stringbean floating around her, trying to cheer her up. There was a moment of silence before she spoke again.
“I don’t want to go,” Luz admitted, her voice suddenly so tired and defeated. “But how could I stay? I hurt all of you, and I don't want to again.”
Amity stood there for a moment, silent, as all of her anger seemed to magically ebb away. It was funny how emotions worked like that sometimes. She walked up to Luz and put her hand on her shoulder. “So you're going to run away? That's not the Luz I know.”
“No, I'm not— it’s not like that.”
“I'm just saying, you don't have to run.” Amity turned Luz around so that they were looking into each other’s eyes. “Luz, getting hurt... it’s a part of life. If you really don't want to leave, then why are you? You don't want us to get hurt, I get that, but you should know by now.” She started poking Luz in the chest. “I don't get hurt very easily.” She poked her with every word, causing Luz to involuntarily giggle.
Amity clasped her girlfriend’s hand in hers. “Listen, I'm not going to make this decision for you. Obviously, I'm going to try to heavily persuade you not to do it, but... it’s your choice. I shouldn't fight you on this. You can go, Luz.
“But you shouldn't have to face this alone... I'd be really scared for you if you did. We can face this together. We can overcome this. Together, just like always.”
“But what if—”
“No,” Amity interrupted, putting her finger to her lips. “No more what-ifs. You’re thinking so much about the future and the past, you can't seem to see what's happening now. I'm right in front of you, Luz, right now, but you're so scared about you hurting me that you can't even notice me.”
This comment startled Luz. That wasn't true, was it? She tried to scoff it off, “Come on, Amity. What about last night?”
Amity could only stare at her sadly. “How much of that night did you spend thinking about leaving?”
Luz blinked. She was right. She put her hand to her forehead, her mind reeling from the realization. All this time she had spent with Amity, with everybody, and how much of that had she spent thinking about a way back to the human realm, or back to the Boiling Isles? How often had she been truly there for her friends, for her family, even when they had been there for her? Not often enough.
Luz had to sit down. She flopped onto the soft grass below in a daze. She chuckled. “I've been learning a lot about myself recently.” She looked up at Amity. “I— I’m sorry, Amity. You're right.” She turned her head to the portal, then back to her girlfriend.
“What am I doing?” She exclaimed. Amity smiled. It seemed that she had finally gotten through to Luz. The human jumped up, a strange new sense of determination evident in her eyes. “I'm so stupid.” She said, and for once, Amity didn't contradict her. Luz stepped forward and hugged Amity tightly. “Thank you, Amity.” She pulled back. “I didn't realize. I need to tell mamá.” She snatched the vial of Titan’s Blood from Amity’s hand and ran towards the portal.
“Wait! Tell her what?”
Luz turned around and smiled. “What do you think?” She poured a drop of it on the archway. “I'm staying.” The portal lit in front of her.
Amity grinned. “Really?”
Luz winked. “Really. I just need to let her know first. I don't want a repeat of last time.”
“Do you think she’ll take it well?”
Luz laughed. “Honestly? I do. Plus, I have Titan’s Blood, so I can visit her anytime I want.” She quickly added.
She began to take a step through the portal, but hesitated, turning towards Amity. Amity gave a cute little smile and waved. Luz smiled back. Then, suddenly, in a spout of courage, she approached her and kissed her. By the time it was over (which only took a moment, no matter how long it felt to either of them), Amity was a blushing mess, and Luz had a bigger smile than she had had in a long time.
“I love you, Amity.”
Amity, though her mind may have been slightly muddled, still managed to say it back. “I love you, too.”
Luz smiled and finally stepped through the portal, bowing before she crossed.
Amity laughed. Luz always did have a flair for the dramatic.
The lavender-haired Blight sat down as she waited for Luz, knowing that she would come back soon.
And come back she did.
Her smile was still on her face.