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When Harry was seven and his best friend, Liam, was six, Anne told them the story of Peter Pan- the boy who never grew up.
“What does he look like?” Liam had asked, brown eyes wide with childish curiosity.
“Well, he’s said to be a beautiful boy with a beautiful smile who wears a dress made of autumn leaves”, Anne had answered, “Doesn’t that sound charming?”
Both Harry and Liam had nodded. It was a few days after they’d heard this story that Harry went next door to play with Liam and ran into Liam’s older brother, Louis.
Louis had the prettiest blue eyes and feathery, brown hair Harry had ever seen. He was always full of energy and, despite being eleven years old, still played games with Harry and Liam. He was the person who dominated in water fights, showed Harry the best places to hide during hide and seek. He was, without a doubt, both Harry and Liam’s idol. As he watched, Louis jumped into a large pile of autumn leaves that he was supposed to be raking up and Harry could suddenly imagine him leading the lost boys in a battle against Captain Hook.
“Hi Hazza”, Louis’ smile was truly beautiful and the next thing he knew, Harry had blurted out, “Are you Peter Pan?”
Louis blinked at him for a moment, confused. Then he cracked up laughing, falling to the ground and holding his stomach while Harry stood there and pouted at the older lad. It was a serious question!
When Louis finally managed to contain his laughter, his blue eyes were sparkling with fondness.
“Come ‘ere, love”, he murmured, patting his lap where he sat on the grass and Harry immediately obeyed because when it came to Louis, he never even considered the possibility of saying ‘no’.
“You’re a very clever boy, H”, he whispered into Harry’s ear, pulling the younger boy onto his lap and stroking a hand through his hair to make him purr. Harry loved it when people played with his hair, especially when it was Louis.
“You’ve figured out my secret”, Louis continued, his breath hot against Harry’s cheek, “I am in fact, Peter Pan”.
Harry blinked up at him, biting his lip nervously before summoning up his courage to ask the most important question of all.
“Will you show me Neverland? Pretty please, Lou?”
Louis tapped a finger against his chin, pondering the idea. Harry put on his best pout and wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist, murmuring, “Please?” until Louis finally gave him a grin.
“Since you asked so nicely. But not today. And you have to promise not to tell Liam. I can’t have too many seven year olds running around Neverland and ruining it, can I?”
Harry nodded, linking his pinkie with Louis’.
“I promise not to tell anyone. Cross my heart and hope to die”, he said, earnestly and Louis chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, which dimpled under the warm touch.
“Good”, Louis nudged Harry gently until the boy got off him then stood up himself, brushing the leaves off.
“Only, don’t die”, Louis added as they made their way into the house where Liam was waiting, “I’d miss seeing your curly hair around and then who’d visit Neverland with me?”
Harry’s smile at the comment remained for the rest of the day. That night, when Anne tucked him in, she heard him sleepily mumble, “I found Peter Pan”. She chuckled, glad her son was having pleasant dreams. What she didn’t realise was that the blue-eyed boy in Harry’s dreams was very much real. His very own Peter Pan.
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“All children, except one, grow up”- J.M. Barrie
“Happy birthday again, Harry!” Liam cheered, giving him one last hug before his Mum pulled him away and Jay closed the front door. Liam had been the last guest to leave his eighth birthday party.
Harry should have been happy. Everyone from school who he had invited to the party had come, he’d gotten a small mountain of presents and even been allowed to eat two pieces of banana cake along with a generous scoop of ice cream. But he felt as if something was missing.
Which was why he told Anne he was tired at three in the afternoon and she’d given him a worried look before tucking him into bed and telling him to call her if he needed anything. Harry was just drifting off to sleep when he heard the sound. It was a tapping noise and it came from his bedroom window.
Harry got up slowly, cautiously walking towards the window. He threw caution to the wind when he saw a brown-haired figure grinning at him.
“Lou!”
His voice conveyed his delight at the boy’s visit and he slid the window open, moving back when Louis clambered into the room.
“Happy birthday, love!” Louis pulled him in for a warm hug and Harry went pliant in his arms. The world suddenly felt right again. He’d wanted to invite Louis to the party but his Mum had told him Louis wasn’t going to be able to make it because he had a date.
“How was your date?” Harry asked, his head buried against Louis’ shoulder. The older boy didn’t seem to mind and Harry was too comfortable with the position to bother moving.
“Meh. She wasn’t as great as I thought”, Louis answered, his fingers stroking through Harry’s hair the way they often did.
“I’m sorry”, Harry stated, not entirely sure what he was apologising for but Louis just laughed.
“What on earth are you sorry for? It wasn’t meant to be, is all. Anyway, enough about that! I haven’t given you my present yet”.
That made Harry blink up at him, curiosity shining in his eyes.
“I can’t actually give it to you”, Louis continued, his arm slipping around Harry’s shoulders as he steered him towards the window. “You’ll have to come with me so I can show you”.
Maybe Harry should have told his Mum that he was going somewhere but he always forgot little things like that whenever he was with Louis. So, he climbed out of the window with Louis’ help and ran after him towards the woods that surrounded their neighbourhood.
“Lou? Where are we going?” Harry asked as they ran, struggling to keep up. Louis must have noticed because he slowed down and grabbed the younger boy’s hand, giving him time to catch his breath.
“To Neverland, Haz. Where else?”
Harry hummed, his smile growing as he took in the path they were walking through. This forest had always seemed magical to him. It made sense that Neverland was in here somewhere.
Louis stopped walking when they came to a clearing.
“Welcome to Neverland, Harold!” he announced, moving away to spin in a circle with his arms spread out. Harry laughed, delighted by Louis’ antics as much as he was by the location.
The clearing was surrounded by colourful flowers. On one end of it, there was a river and overlooking the river was a large tree. Harry caught sight of a tire swing on one of the tree branches and looked towards Louis questioningly.
“We can swing into the water from here, see?” Louis ran towards the swing to demonstrate and Harry followed, caught up in the excitement that thrummed though the older boy.
He panicked for a moment when Louis let go of the swing to jump into the water but then he remembered Peter Pan could never get hurt badly. He grinned when Louis swam back towards the shore and then it was Harry’s turn to try it. They spent an hour or so playing in the clearing before Louis deemed it was time they returned home.
They trudged back up the forest path, clothes soaking wet because neither of them had had the foresight to remove their outfits before swimming, only to be met by two angry Mums. Neither Jay nor Anne were impressed with Louis’ idea of a birthday present but if anyone had asked Harry, he would have said it was the best gift he’d ever gotten.
As Jay led Louis away, muttering something about how he was grounded for a week, Louis turned back to wink at him. Harry grinned brightly, not even his mother’s worries about him catching pneumonia hindering the high of his adventures with Louis in Neverland.
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“Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting”- J.M. Barrie
Harry was ten when the accident happened.
Liam’s voice seemed to be coming from far away even though Harry knew he was right beside him, “Harry? Say something!”
“What happened?” Another voice joined in.
“I’m not sure how but he fell off the slide!”
Harry lay there the cold ground, wishing he was less clumsy. His back hurt and he was struggling to breathe, on the cusp of an asthma attack because his breath had literally been knocked out of him when he collided with the earth.
“I told you both to not go on that! It’s wet and slippery!” the voice was familiar. It sounded more concerned than angry though.
“Hazza?” Warm hands stroked his face, trailing down his arms. Harry blinked lazily. Were those tears falling from his eyes? How strange.
“Harold, talk to me, love. Where does it hurt?” the voice was more firm now, more strict. It somehow helped Harry recover the ability of speech.
“L..Lou?” he whimpered and the hands were on his face again, wiping away his tears and cradling his jaw.
“Get me his inhaler, Liam”, Louis’ voice said, “He’s got it in that backpack over there”.
“Lou”, Harry said again because that seemed to be the only word he could say. He managed to focus on the clear blue eyes above him that were wide with fear. Louis looked scared. That couldn’t be right. Louis was never scared. He was the bravest boy Harry knew!
“Don’t cry, Hazza”, Louis’ voice was soft, reassuring but it only made the tears in his eyes fall faster. “Hey no, listen. I’m Peter Pan and I order you to smile”.
Harry almost laughed at that but the pain turned it into a wince. He hadn’t thought of Louis being Peter Pan for years now but the idea still fit. He was the boy who would never grow up despite becoming older, the leader, the protector. He was still Harry’s Peter Pan. Some fairy dust to take the pain away would have been mighty helpful right now though!
Harry let out a choked sob as a sharp stab of pain throbbed through his spine again.
Louis’ arms came around him then, lifting him gently, cradling him against his larger body. Harry appreciated the comforting warmth but his back hurt so much.
“H..hurts”, he whimpered, tears falling faster.
Louis’ movements stilled immediately. “Where, love? Tell me where it hurts”.
“My back”.
“Fuck”, Louis breathed and Harry wanted to tell him swearing was bad but he could only cry out again as the pain got worse. “Hang in there, Haz”.
Liam was holding the inhaler against his lips now and Harry took in a deep puff. It made the ache in his chest ease slightly but his back was as bad as ever!
Louis was on the phone now, demanding an ambulance be sent to the park.
“Lou”, Harry murmured and the older boy held him closer, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead as he wiped away more of Harry’s tears. The pain was making spots appear in front of his eyes, blurring his vision. Closing them seemed to be a good idea.
“Please stay with me, Harry”, were the last words he heard before he succumbed to the tiredness of his body.
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“To live will be an awfully big adventure” -J.M. Barrie
Sitting on the floor to play FIFA with Liam was never the best idea, as Harry remembered the moment he tried to stand up. His eyes shut briefly, an involuntary whimper leaving his mouth at the ache in his back, the muscles stiff after hours of sitting in such a cramped position.
It had been five years since the accident and there were no traces of the injury except for these occasional times, when his body took the greatest joy in reminding him it was still fragile. Liam often laughed at him and called him an old man in a teenager’s body.
“Aww, need a walking stick, H?” Liam teased. Harry retaliated by maturely poking his tongue out, still trying to straighten out the kinks in his back. He nearly moaned with relief when another pair of hands took over, rubbing over his back muscles with practiced ease, massaging the most painful spots until the pain became nothing more than a dull throb.
“Thanks, Lou”, Harry murmured, not needing to turn around to know who it was. Only Louis knew exactly what Harry needed.
“Anytime, Haz”, Louis whispered back, giving his back one final rub before sliding over and grabbing the controller Harry had put down. “Now, let me avenge your honour by destroying my little brother at this game!”
Liam scoffed and Harry grinned. His grin only got wider when, forty minutes later, Liam threw down his controller and stomped off, having lost three games in a row. Louis smiled up at him and it was the most natural thing in the world for Harry to lean forward and press their lips together in a gentle kiss. It wasn’t their first and it definitely wouldn’t be their last.
“Are you coming to see the production next week?” Louis asked as he leant back against the couch, letting Harry’s legs frame him. At the age of twenty, Louis was studying Drama at university. Harry had yet to miss a single one of his productions.
“Of course I am! As if I’d ever miss the chance of seeing you play Peter Pan! Are you nervous?”
He saw Louis smile, that soft, fond look entering his eye. The look only Harry got to see.
“Nah”, Louis chuckled, reaching up to interlink his fingers with his boyfriend’s, “I’m not worried at all. Someone once told me I was Peter Pan so I think I was born to play this role”. Harry’s only response was another soft kiss.
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“Just always be waiting for me” -J.M. Barrie
Harry put the book back on the bookshelf, thumbing at its time-worn cover. Baby Lucas yawned in his arms, ready for bed.
“You do realise he’s too young to understand the story, don’t you?” Louis’ familiar voice whispered in his ear and Harry smiled, turning around to give his husband a quick kiss before passing over their youngest child.
“I read it to Darcy and Oliver when they were his age and it’s still their favourite book”, Harry reminded him.
Louis shook his head but the amusement was clear on his face.
“Sometimes, I feel like your goal in life is to make sure the entire family falls in love with that book”.
“Well, they should be prepared! You never know when they’ll meet their own Peter Pan”.
Louis groaned, pressing a kiss to Harry’s lips and murmuring, “I don’t even want to think about them dating! Darcy’s only eleven”.
Harry just chuckled and gave Lucas a kiss on the forehead as his husband tucked him into the crib. He had been right all those years ago. Life was an adventure with Louis by his side.
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“All the world is made of faith and trust and pixie dust” -J.M. Barrie
“Daddy?”
Harry glanced over to see his youngest son watching Louis and his older brother as they renovated their old treehouse. Darcy was on a school camp for the week and the house already seemed quieter without her voice filling every corner.
She looked like Harry with her chocolate brown curls and green eyes but her character was completely Louis’. Oliver and Lucas both had Louis’ blue eyes and straight hair but they were also quieter and more gentle, a lot like Harry himself.
“What is it, love?” Harry asked now, reaching over to pull his seven year old son into his lap.
Lucas stayed silent for another minute before the question came bursting out, almost as if he couldn’t help himself.
“Is Dada Peter Pan?”
Harry chuckled, keeping his eyes on his husband. He was a lithe figure, drenched in sunlight, eyes sparkling with childish excitement as he laughed at something Oliver had said. As he watched Louis reach up and swing himself onto a higher branch with a natural grace Harry had always lacked, he was reminded of a time when he had wondered the very same thing his son was asking him now.
Louis had been Harry’s Peter Pan. In some ways, he always would be.
Harry turned to his youngest child, who was watching his Dad with unconcealed awe.
“You’re a very clever boy, Lucas” he murmured to him, “Can you keep a secret?”
"All children, except one, grow up"