Work Text:
Howon is stubborn when he corners him, Woohyun knows that. He knows that because he hadn’t even been in the kitchen for a few minutes when he sensed the presence of another student in their dorm kitchen.He can sense it through the way Howon cups his cheeks and forces him to make eye contact. He can sense it, as if it was overflowing. Woohyun wonders if Howon had been planning on doing this; to confront him when the rest were sleeping. Woohyun also wonders if he was supposed to feel the lump in his throat that he does.
Looking into deep brown eyes, Woohyun lets out a shaky breath before Howon even gets to say anything. He knows, and it feels as if everything tumbles down on him. All his feelings, a shelf with them organized in alphabetic letters just crashes down on him and Woohyun bites the inside of his cheeks.
It takes a moment for Woohyun to actually speak up after Howon’s cornered him in the kitchen. It takes a longer moment to actually get some coherent meaning into the whole sentence. Howon’s eyes on him never falter.
’’What are you doing..?’’ Woohyun begins and he speaks in a soft whisper, afraid anyone will wake up by their talking. He raises his hands and grips tightly onto Howon’s cardigan. ’’You.. You shouldn’t be doing this.'’ Woohyun speaks in between small breaths, curling his fingers into the material.
’’You’ve been hiding from me, you’ve been staying away,’’ Howon says and his voice is shaky with tension and Woohyun tightens his grip on Howon’s shirt, his fingers digging into the fabric.
’’We’re not supposed to be doing this.’’ Woohyun replies back and he is staring straight into Howon’s eyes. It’s almost crazy. He can’t bring himself to look away.
Howon runs his thumbs over Woohyun’s cheekbones and it’s intimate all of sudden. Woohyun bites down on his lip and he’s holding back, not sure of what but something.
’’Woohyun…’’ Howon begins and he reaches a hand up to push Woohyun’s hair away from his forehead. Woohyun submits, he closes his eyes and lets out an exhale, a breath he didn’t know he was holding in.
’’I’m sorry,’’ Woohyun says abruptly and his voice is low, sincerness laces into his voice and his fists are holding tighter onto the fabric of Howon’s shirt, almost tugging at him.
’’Don’t scare me like that,’’ Howon mutters and he presses a gentle kiss to Woohyun’s forehead. He pulls him tighter, his hand gently brushing over his cheek.
’’I was scared, if people would find out,’’ Woohyun says in a whispers. His voice hints that he’s on the edge of tears. Woohyun wonders if Howon is as equally scared as he is, because they both know the consequences. They both can’t risk living with people spitting at them nor do they dare to ruin their reputation among the other students, to bring down the name they created around themselves.
’’Woohyun…’’ Howon let’s out a light sigh and gently cups Woohyun’s cheeks again and pulls him in for a kiss. Their lips pressed against each other desperately. An aching need for comfort they can only find in each other.
Howon can hear a noise coming from Woohyun and he drags his thumb over his cheekbone. They both need this, they just need each other. Pressed against kitchen counter, their own privacy in rare moments like these, alone in the middle of the night.
With a low noise from the back of his throat, Woohyun pulls away and his hands press against Howon’s shoulders. He wets his lips and, raising a hand to gently brushes his fingers over Howon’s features.
’’How could I ever run away?’’ Woohyun asks himself in a whisper, almost in disbelief and runs his finger over Howon’s lower lip. He makes eye-contact with Howon but the connection is quickly broken as Howon leans in and presses his lips to Woohyun’s cheek.
One kiss on the cheek leads to gentle brushes over Woohyun’s neck and he bites his lip. It’s been so long, he thinks and he holds onto Howon’s waist in pure desperation to keep him close. He lets out a gasp as Howon’s teeth drags over his neck.
Howon’s hand firmly grabs onto his hips, pulling them closer together even with the air between them already being rare. Woohyun drags his fingers through Howon’s hair, pulling him in for a needy kiss, his grip on his hair tightening.
What used to be just for comfort was now a great need, a want; something for life. Howon was for life. Woohyun holds onto him tightly to make sure of that Howon's stays there; as their teeth clash, as their lips bruise.
When a sudden cold hits his bare skin as his shirt hikes up, pushed up by Howon, his hands resting on his hips. He gasps against Howon’s mouth and he feels Howon’s lips suddenly pressing against his neck and with small bites; drawing blood to the surface; making him close his eyes and hold tightly onto Howon’s shoulder.
Howon digs his nails into Woohyun’s hips before he grabs his thighs and helps him up to sit on the counter they were just pressed to. He is quick to open Woohyun’s sweatshirt and leave it open. Woohyun’s grips onto his hair, encouraging him to press more kisses all along the base of his neck.
Woohyun is breathing heavier and he’s watching as Howon moves further down his torso. His firm hands running over his upper body, making up for lost time. Making up for times where they didn’t dare to touch each other, even for brief skin-ship, even when they couldn’t bring themselves to do anything when it was just the two of them in the dorm and the rest had their classes.
Woohyun whispers his name, his fingers tightening into his hair and he starts to feel lightheaded. Everything happened so fast, he isn’t sure if he ever felt like this in a while. This aroused, this filled with emotions. He’s lost in his thoughts when Howon’s hand inches dangerously closer to his crotch, his palm running along the inside of his thigh and he lets out a low noise feeling his hand that close, a rush of heat spreading over his body.
’’You’re thinking too much.’’ Woohyun hears and he lets out a low hum in response, glancing away from Howon for brief moment as his hand travels down to his neck from his hair.
’’Just close your eyes and let me take care of you.’’ Howon whispers as a continuation and Woohyun nods idly, feeling at a loss of words.
When Howon runs his palms down Woohyun’s thighs, Woohyun almost shivers in response because of everything, his senses are going crazy. He leans his head back against the cupboard and pushes his hips up. His hold from Howon’s neck is gone and he’s now holding tightly onto the edge of the counter.
Howon is quick to discard Woohyun’s belt and tug his pants down just enough for him to push his hand into his briefs and wrap his hand around his girth.
Woohyun gasps and he winces slightly at the cold fingers wrapping around him, his fingers twitching at the sensation. ’’You’re cold.'’ He moans with a low voice and his knuckles turn white while he tightens his grip on the counter. .
Howon moves closer, his hand moving along Woohyun’s length. His hand goes slow and Woohyun’s arms twitch as he feels warmth run along his spine. His breath is labored from excitement and he shuts his eyes tightly, his lips parting as a soft moan slip past them. Woohyun slips one arm around Howon's shoulders pressing his knees into his sides. Woohyun bites his lip, digs his nails into his back and pushes his nose against Howon's neck, his breathing heavy against his neck.
"Woohyun, you're thinking of something," Howon mutters under his breath before he presses his lips against his neck, his hand never losing their pumping motions around Woohyun’s cock.
"It's nothing," Woohyun gasps out, his eyes squeezing shut as Howon rubs his thumb over Woohyun's tip. His fingers curls into his palm and his breath quickens. Howon pushes further, he presses a kiss close to Woohyun’s ear before following up his actions with a whisper.
‘’It’s something,’’ He asks and it sounds like he’s worried is what Woohyun notices. He wets his lips and pushes his free palm against Howon’s chest. He swallows thickly before he lifts his head, meeting with Howon’s awaiting eyes and Woohyun pushes all his courage into keeping the eye-contact between them.
‘’Tell me what it is,’’ Howon urges, his fingers moving away from being wrapped around Woohyun’s shaft. Immediately, Woohyun tightens his jaw, feeling as if all the warmth he had over his body shoot to his face and he is thankful for the dull lights in the kitchen. He tugs down at his shirt, as if to cover up and Howon grabs his hands instead, stopping him from doing so.
‘’It’s, it’s something I will tell you later,’’ Woohyun replies in a whisper, hoping that Howon will comply because his mind isn’t in the state where he wants to discuss. He wants Howon’s hands on him, his lips on him and he doesn’t want to stop when he doesn’t know where they could sneak in another moment like this. It’s worth the loss of sleep.
‘’Please, please just go on,’’ Woohyun continues with a low whine slipping past his lips, his hand finding its way to wrap around his own length. He hears Howon’s sharp inhale and his hand is pushed away only to be replaced by Howon’s. He leans his head back, resting it against the cupboard once more before he reaches towards Howon’s sweatpants, tugging them downwards. He doesn’t want to waste this moment.
Woohyun hears Howon’s breath hitch up as he lets his hand slip under the hem of his sweatpants after pushing down the front of them. He tries his best to keep his focus steady, his mind is clouded, with worry, with want. Woohyun pushes his hand in under Howon’s briefs, taking his fingers gently around his girth; wasting no second before he starts pumping his palm around Howon. His mind eager to please, taking use of the moment where no one else could possibly bother them.
The way that Woohyun presses his lips into his neck has Howon closing his eyes. Heat rushes through his body and he bites back any sound that threatens to escape past his lips. He has missed Woohyun, it’s been too long he thinks. Woohyun’s teeth grazes over his neck carefully, making sure not to leave any marks behind him.
They both hold back any noises that threaten to escape, they’re on their own yet they feel the whole world is watching over them, observing, scrutinizing, judging. It’s with steady snaps of his wrist that Woohyun brings Howon to the edge, their lips pressed firmly together because Woohyun doesn’t want to hear his noises of pleasure. He doesn’t want to wake anyone up in their dorm. Howon’s breathing against this lips, hot and heavy, he has his hand around Woohyun’s cock while Woohyun’s hand is covered in sticky semen, trailing along his fingers.
Woohyun isn’t far after, he manages to slip an arm around Howon’s shoulders, press his lips against theirs to not let the whimper slip past his lips, loud in their ears. He didn’t last long, he never does with Howon’s hands on him in one way or another. It’s like his body has learnt to rush through it when they’re together.
He lets Howon wipe his hand clean with the paper towels that were close on the counter, he grabs Woohyun’s hand and cleans it off. Soon enough, Howon brings him for another kiss, cups his cheeks delicately and presses their lips gently together. Woohyun responds immediately, he kisses back, slowly in order to savour the moment, because when will they get another chance? Woohyun immediately parts from the kiss hearing the sounds of a toilet flushing and they both fix themselves, tucking themselves back into their pants to look presentable, as you can be in the middle of the night.
Woohyun gets himself a glass of water the second he jumps off the counter and Howon only watches him, arms crossed while leaning against a cupboard.
There’s nothing. Silence.
Howon speaks up.
“Woohyun…” He begins and Woohyun wants to shut him up, tell him that now is not the time but that doesn’t happen. He lets Howon speak.
“We need to do something about this,” he says and Woohyun flicks his gaze down. He’s right, they need to do something if they want to continue. But it won’t be easy. He’s never heard of any sanctuaries for gay men, it’s not the time. Woohyun wonders if it’s too early for the world. It’s 1986 and all they’ve heard is that people like them are abominations.
“We can’t, not now, maybe in the future,” Woohyun simply replies. He won’t let it get to his head now. He won’t let himself lose more sleep over the issue. He sends Howon an apologetic look before he finishes his water, setting the glass into the sink.
Howon grabs his hand before he gets to leave, stops him and Woohyun wants to pull away, go back to sleep. Yet he doesn’t want to break from Howon’s grip, he doesn’t want to do that to him, to reject him in that way.
“Promise you won’t ignore me tomorrow,” Woohyun’s heart sinks.
“I won’t, I’ll sit next to you in the lectures,” he reassures. It’s genuine, he will accompany him, pretend like they’re both just good friends spending time. The other’s don’t need to know. Howon thanks him, his lips touching upon a smile and Woohyun feels a slight relief. But he doesn’t say more, he slips his hand out of Howon’s hold and makes his way back to his room; letting Howon have his back.