Work Text:
“I love you”.
No matter how many times he tried to, he found it difficult to say it back.
It’s not that he didn’t love Champa. It’s just…all of this was still so new to him. These mushy feelings that he once made fun of nonstop, these butterflies that he used to call bullshit on, it was all overcoming him. Everytime he thought of Champa, they would swallow him and he found it harder to function. Everytime Champa was around, it would intensify to the point where he couldn’t concentrate. And any time Champa did something romantic? He was lost in his grasp.
And if he wasn’t being a hopeless dork around him, he was struggling to show affection the way he wanted to. Champa always told him that it was alright and he knew that Quitela really liked and cared about him, but Quitela didn’t feel like it was truly alright. Firstly, it was very ironic that he couldn’t profess his love to the guy he’s had sex with many times. Sure, he was aware that sex could be a meaningless act, but that was the reason why he’d never had sex with anyone before Champa. There was simply no point to it and his video games provided more than enough pleasure.
Secondly, Champa’s able to say it so easily. He would and did say it with ease at any given moment. One instance that came to Quitela’s mind was when he and Cognac were returning from destroying planets, and Champa called them midflight to tell him that. His flustered reaction was highly entertaining to Cognac. Was the motherfucker stalking him to wait for the perfect moment to do it?
Another instance was when they were playing a video game and Quitela won a match. He celebrated his victory as usual, but in the midst of it, Champa grasped his cheeks and kissed him. Then said it to Quitela in a loving voice while resisting the urge not to laugh at the shock spread across his face. Who does that?! Is that seriously something couples do?!
Finally, there was the fact that someone, apart from the angels, was aware. How would she react to him being unable to say it? It was very possible that she already knew, but what could she say or do that would help? She may be the goddess of love, but she wasn’t exactly a mind reader. She also couldn’t just force him to say it. Even he knew this had to come naturally…
He still remembered when Champa first said it. It surprised the hell out of him. He didn’t even know what to make of the situation…and honestly he still didn’t. It still felt so surreal…over the course of two years, they went from being friends to lovers. Technically, he was still a friend…but he had to remember there was a difference between “friend” and “boyfriend”. And really, it’s been six months since then, but who’s counting? Besides, they were doing stuff before then…but he couldn’t pretend that there wasn’t any pent up tension and he certainly couldn’t deny that he loved every second. The more he thought about it, the more it became apparent to him. It was only awkward to say because he was making it. He loved Champa, and he knew that. Sure, he was new to this, but he was more comfortable now than he was back then. He trusted and cared about him more than he’s ever cared about anything else, saying that phrase was just a short way of saying that. It was because of Champa that he knew that to begin with.
But what he didn’t know was how he ended up on this train of thought. He spent so much time thinking about it that he didn’t realize he was still standing outside. Once Heles and Sour departed, he only intended to stand there for a moment, but ended up standing there for what was probably 20 minutes.
He hardly heard Champa’s footsteps approaching. He just kept his back turned, staring off into the direction that Sour and Heles went.
“There you are…” He said with a bit of concern, holding his shoulders. “You never came back inside. I was worried that I hurt you with what I sa-”
“I love you.”
Champa’s ears twitched as his eyes widened a bit.
He said it…he finally said it…
Champa could’ve picked him up and kissed him, but he had to fight those urges. He knew that it couldn’t have been easy for Quitela to come out and say it, but that only made him proud. Before, Quitela was only able to say that he really liked him and Champa was always fine with that. As much as he would hate to admit it, he did often seek advice on their relationship from Vados because he wanted to make sure he was doing everything right. He never felt this way towards anyone like Quitela before, and he didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize it. Vados found it to be sweet and was always willing to help him judgment free, but of course, sworn to secrecy.
He didn’t know if it was his “rant” that triggered it or if something Heles said made him say it. Either way, he wrapped his arms around his body and held him close, feeling as though he fell in love all over again.
“I love you, too,” He replied softly and lovingly. Quitela melted in the embrace and held his arms. He smiled in relief and kissed his hand.