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Kita thanked the bus driver as he exited from the back door— it was fairly late, making him the last passenger of the night. He fished out the red windbreaker from his duffle bag and threw it over his shoulders, pulling at the lapels closer for warmth.
It had been a while since he arrived home this late at night. Luckily, he didn’t live too far away from the nearest bus stop as it was only a 5 minute walk from the end of the street. The neighborhood was quiet with everyone’s house lights turned off and the chimes of wind bells ringing faintly in the distance. He lived in a neighborhood that consisted of older folk, most of them had moved to the area after retirement or lived alone because their children moved out. The community was small, only having 5 neighbors in total in the span of one street. They all lived in large traditional houses most likely passed down from generations; their homes were all equipped with tatami flooring, wooden sliding doors, and their own versions of Japanese gardens in varying sizes.
It was simple, though a little lonely sometimes. No one his age was around for him to talk to, leaving him to make friends with the kind, yet slightly confused elderly who offered him fresh fruit and vegetables every Sunday.
Kita quickly reached the front of his house— a one story traditional home, unlike the modernness of Atsumu’s one.
After making his way through the entrance, he heard something crash from his right. Kita kneeled down and clicked his tongue; a black cat swayed its way to him from the darkness. The cat wasn't his, the whole neighborhood took care of her. It was this unspoken agreement between the neighbors and Kita’s family that the house the cat ended up in that night were responsible for feeding it.
“Did ya eat?” He scratched it from under its chin, earning himself purr from the small furry animal. It rubbed against his legs and meowed at him. “Yes, yes I’m home,” The cat stared at him with its bright yellow eyes and then yawned. Chuckling, he got up from his position and the feline hurriedly scurried away.
He walked up the old wooden steps to the front door and toed off his shoes once he was at the genkan. He placed his shoes on the rack to his right, placing them neatly between his granny’s sandals and his running shoes. He slipped off his jacket to sling over his shoulders and promptly ducked into his home.
All of the lights inside were off, but he heard the familiar sound of a variety show rerun humming lowly from the living room. Peeking through the door frame, he saw his Mom sitting at the kotatsu, eyes glued to the screen in front of her. She must’ve gotten home from work a while ago judging by how her hair was tied in a half up-half down style and sported a pair of comfortable, loose shorts and T-shirt. His Mom often did this when she had a long day, a habit of hers that Kita noticed back when he used to stay up studying at night in middle school. He remembered sitting at the dining room table finishing his homework when his Mom would arrive past midnight with tired eyes. Watching variety shows and dramas until sleep took over her was how she coped with the stress it seemed.
Kita never asked her what was wrong, there was a large part of him that was scared of doing so. Aside from his Granny, his family wasn’t the type to wear their hearts on their sleeves nor were they the ones to express their concerns for one another out loud. Rather, they would show it through action instead. So whenever he saw his Mom passed out on the living room couch, he would just simply put a blanket over her before she got sick from the cool evening air.
“I’m home.”
She quickly glanced at him and then looked back at the television screen in front of her, “Welcome home.”
A knot slowly formed in his chest— was he wrong for missing Mrs. Miya’s warm greeting? Kita stood there for a second, watching as his Mom’s tired eyes drooped while the show she was supposedly watching went on commercial break, head snapping up again when her hand almost slipped.
He replayed everything that happened at the Miya household during the whole bus ride back home— the playful banter, a full dining table, never ending conversation. Seeing how close Atsumu’s family were to each other, he felt a sliver of courage to reach out to his Mom. The relationship with his Mom didn't need to be perfect, just present.
“Mom?”
“Hm?”
“Are you free tomorrow morning?”
She froze before slowly turning her head to him once more, this time with her eyebrows scrunched in confusion, “I… am.”
Kita shifted the weight on his feet, “Granny is going out to the market tomorrow so she won’t be back until noon. Did you want to help me garden instead?”
“Garden?”
Kita screwed his eyes shut, terrified of her answer.
“What time were you thinking?”
His eyes snapped open. Well that wasn’t the answer he was expecting.
Kita shakily responded, “Maybe around 9AM, I’ll have to make breakfast for us first.”
She waved her hand in dismissal, “No it’s okay. I’ll make breakfast, just sleep in. I’m sure you must be tired from visiting your boyfriend’s place.”
It still gave Kita a jolt whenever she mentioned his relationship with Atsumu. Kita came out to his Mom last, as his Granny was the first one to know. Although he knew that she wouldn’t shun him, he wasn’t sure if she would be particularly happy about the news either. Luckily, she took it well and didn’t seem bothered by it. Maybe Kita was imagining it, but she did look curious about the kind of person he was dating. She didn’t have much knowledge about him besides his name and that he was a year younger than him.
“Shin?”
Kita was brought out of his thoughts, “Yes, Mom?”
“Miya, Atsumu… was it? How is he?”
“He’s fine.”
“And his family?”
A fond, closed mouth smile formed as he remembered the chaos that took place not too long ago, “They’re good people. A funny and caring, close knit bunch.”
“All good things, huh. I’m glad.”
Silence fell between them as she drummed her fingers on the table top of the kotatsu.
“That boy Atsumu… he sounds like someone who’s good for you.”
Pause.
“When you asked me for permission to go over to their place for dinner, I felt a lot of different emotions,” When Kita looked at her with a puzzled expression, she continued, “A part of me was so excited for you to meet his parents. It's a special thing to be able to meet the folks he was raised by and to be welcomed by them. But the other... " She lowered her eyes to her hands. "...was worried that you might come home missing your Dad.”
Kita felt his chest twist into a tight knot. It has been a while since he passed, yet it still hurt every time he was brought up. Kita was a considerably honest person, both to himself and others. Despite that, he ran away from the fact that his Dad was gone and his Mom hadn’t been the same since. He would be lying if he said that he didn't think of his Dad on the way home and that grief hadn't been faintly tugging at his heart being around Atsumu's family. It was a strange experience to have grief and healing share a home together.
“I know that he's always with us, Mom. Watching us from above.”
She had a pinched expression on her face and said nothing.
No one in their family took the absence of his Father well. Kita himself still had yet to find peace with what happened, and the Gods know full well that his Mom had yet to find herself again. Though he never had talked about it out loud, Kita knew that Granny put on a strong front so that the rest of their family could hold themselves up and go about their day. There was no doubt she missed him dearly, he was her only son after all.
She suddenly motioned for him to come closer by patting the space on the floor next to her, silently telling him that she wanted him to take a seat. When Kita did as he was told, he found himself gently embraced by her. Their hug was a bit awkward as Kita was shocked stiff, causing his Mother to only be able to hold him by the shoulders, leaving a large gap between them. If he wasn’t so taken aback, he would’ve chuckled at how this exact moment described their relationship— awkward and stiff. She was such an unpredictable person: some days his Mom would share short clipped conversations and other times she would wake him up to a table full of his favorite food and a note wishing him luck at an upcoming match.
She was hard to read, but Kita could tell that she was trying.
He blinked his tears away before they could fall onto her shoulders. They were both hurting, they just handled the pain differently.
“I’m grateful that you had a nice night at their place Shin, I really do. At work, I was thinking about how I'm not there for you a lot of times,” Kita could tell she had a sad smile on her face from the way her voice sounded like she was trying not to crack. “Your grandma would always tell me ‘having good people in your life is a blessing’. If you say the Miya family are a good bunch, then that’s all I need for me to feel at ease.”
His Mom hardly said I love you. But if she were to ever voice that sentiment to him, it would be the words that just came out of her mouth.
Kita trembled in her arms. “I know you’re trying your best, Mom. Just tell me when you’re having a hard time too, ” Kita thought back to how Atsumu was able to be himself around his parents. How warm it was. The way everything seemed easy when Atsumu talked with his parents. Perhaps that's how it was supposed to be. “We're... a family after all.”
He could imagine his Mom sitting in front of the living room TV, mindlessly flipping through channels thinking about what he was doing at Atsumu’s place. It must’ve awakened something inside her too. Family is difficult, and it’s even more difficult when one of them leaves so suddenly and without warning.
“Okay Shin. I’ll try to do that more often. I know that I can be bit of a hard head sometimes,” She laughed lightly, pulling away with a sheen of tears in her eyes before wiping her face on her sleeve. “I’ve probably chatted your ear off, huh? Sorry about that, Shin, I'm sure you're exhausted. Hurry on, rest up, we have an early morning ahead of us.”
He nodded and then took one last look at his Mom, who seemed a lot softer than he’s seen in ages. Kita wouldn’t mind if she opened up to him more, but this was a start.
“Sleep tight.”
“Goodnight. Don’t sleep too late, Mom.”
As Kita walked along the corridor that lead back to his room, Mrs. Miya’s voice rang in his head:
“Maybe she isn’t the best at expressin’ it, but it’s a mother’s instinct to love their child to the bone.”
Kita furiously wiped at the tears that uncontrollably rolled down his cheeks; his whole body was shaking— he could tell from the way he wasn't able to open the door without taking a deep breath to calm himself down.
Once he got to his room and shut the door behind him, he sat on the floor next to his bed and pulled out his phone to see two messages from Atsumu.
Atsumu:
[10:32 PM] Lmk when ya get home!
[10:33 PM] Also, my fam misses you already :p
Kita choked out a laugh. He always used too many exclamation points and emojis— it was very much Atsumu.
He typed back,
[10:56PM] Got home safely. Tell them I miss them too.
Atsumu:
[11:04PM] Good, thought ya might’ve gotten lost or sumn lolol
[11:04PM] Mom and Dad won’t stop ravin’ about ya btw -_-
[11:05PM] still up for a call tomorrow mornin? :))
He couldn’t wait, he wanted to hear his voice again. Kita swiftly pulled up Atsumu’s contact information and pressed the small phone icon. He pressed his cold phone against his ear as the dial rang.
After two rings, Atsumu picked up. “Hello?” He sounded confused. “Everything alright?”
“Yes,” he sighed, exhaling the breath he didn't know he was holding.
“That’s— that’s good! But, uh, what made ya call? M’not complainin' though.”
“I love you.”
He heard Atsumu choke out something that sounded like “guh!” followed by him clearing his throat. He always got shy when Kita was straightforward like this. His cheeks were most likely red, hands running over his head, and eyebrows scrunched. Osamu was definitely going to tease him after this. Or, maybe he wouldn’t and instead just pretend that he didn’t hear their conversation. Tonight’s dinner had taught Kita that Osamu can be a nice twin when he wants to be.
“I love you too,” Atsumu said breathlessly. Kita could hear him shift in his bed, his heart softened at the realization that Atsumu probably waited until Kita texted back before he fell asleep.
“Did somethin’ happen?”
“Yes, but it’s a good thing,” Kita laid backwards so his back was pressing against his bed frame. “I’m... gardening with my Mom tomorrow.”
He closed his eyes and smiled as he listened to Atsumu’s excitement, “Well won’t ya look at that!” Atsumu said. Kita could practically hear his grin from the other side of the phone. “Was it because of what my Mom said to you earlier?”
In the grand scheme of things, going gardening was an extremely small step towards bettering his relationship with his Mom, but it meant the world to him.
“Yeah, somethin’ like that.”