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“Then choose me,” Reo says, and every cell inside Nagi hastens to oblige the king’s order.
“Okay,” he breathes out too quickly, as if waiting for another second is bound to cost him his life. “Okay,” he repeats, and turns to Isagi and the still shell-shocked Barou.
“I’m choosing Reo,” he tells his teammates, and it’s with the same bossiness that he’s used when he told Zantetsu to do as Reo says.
There’s Chigiri’s speed and Kunigami’s physique, but those aren’t necessary for breathing. Being near Reo, preventing Reo from turning even more miserable: those are things that he needs to be able to continue moving. Or at least, it feels that way.
Any thoughts about enduring separation for the sake of eventually becoming strong enough that he could only offer victories to his king’s foot—they all disappear now. He’s not a slave, but he’s always liked listening to Reo’s words and making his desires a reality.
Isagi opens his mouth, obviously about to fight for his choice of teammate.
“I’m the only reason why you’ve even reached this point,” he says, firmly wielding cruelty. “I’m the one who scored the most goals, Isagi.”
It silences any and all talk in the field. His head buzzes. He turns back to Reo, who’s looking at him with a strange sort of blankness.
Ah.
He closes his eyes briefly, smoothing his expression. He’s always been gentle and unimposing whenever he’s with Reo. The sort who’d laze against his back, who’d yawn into his side, who’d burrow into his lap while welcoming pets to his head. In Reo’s eyes, he’s not someone who’s prone to irritated outbursts, or to wanting to kick someone, or wanting to use his prowess as a means to get his way.
He smiles, and kneels down in front of his king. Stretches out a hand to curve over the other’s cheek. “Are you tired? Do you want me to carry you back to our room?”
It’s tense, when they return. Barou is obviously sulking about getting devoured, and Isagi is fuming in frustration at his inadequacies being used to slap him in the face. But that’s alright. The only thing that matters is that Reo is here with him.
They share the same mattress, because Reo is still looking at him blankly, like his consciousness has been stripped away by his agreement to choose him. But that’s alright. It’s always been Reo who’s taken care of him before, so it’s his turn to return the favor.
Combing his hair, washing his face, helping him bathe and dressing him back up. Those are things that he’s always found troublesome, but it doesn’t feel like a burden, when he’s doing it for his unresponsive partner.
Even when he’s so unresponsive that their next match is pretty much a 3 versus 4 against Itoshi Rin’s team. Even when the match after that ends up with him coldly stating, “I will not participate if you pick me. Get Barou instead, and I’ll stay with Reo.”
“Choose me,” Reo has told him, and hasn’t said anything else after that, so he’ll keep following that order.
Even when Ego appears in front of them, reminiscent of their entry to Blue Lock, with a disdainful, “It’s just you two remaining.”
“My ego is to give Reo what he wants,” he says to the man who ushers them out of the facility with a sneer.
To Reo, who’s still unresponsive beside him, “I’ve chosen you, Reo. So why is it that you don’t even have a light in your eyes now?”
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“Then choose me,” Reo says, and every cell inside Nagi hastens to oblige the king’s order.
He takes a moment to breathe and reorient himself, but then Reo’s opening his mouth again, adding, “You’ve changed, Nagi.”
That makes him sink to his knees, scrambling to go near Reo and stop him from talking, stop him from saying words that would cleave into him. Both of his hands rise so he could cup the other’s sweaty face.
“Nagi?! What are you—?!”
“I choose you,” he says, loud enough that it reverberates across the pitch. “Reo, I choose you.”
There’s obvious bewilderment on the other’s face, and those eyes that used to be so happy and shiny are now shining with unshed frustrated tears. It’s painful to look at, so he presses in closer and clumsily brings their lips together. Something inside him tells him that if he allows Reo to talk now, that he’d hear something he truly doesn’t want to hear, so he should just make him stop talking.
Once he’s sure that Reo’s too breathless to say anything, he pulls away and declares, “If you don’t want to pick Reo, then I’m going to join the losing team. That way, you can get their two other players.”
It’s a crazy move, he knows. He stays there, coiled atop Reo’s lap, refusing to budge until Ego himself shows up in those impersonal display screens and tells them, “Fuck off.”
“My ego is to choose Reo above everything,” he says and stays in that two-person world with Reo the entire time.
It’s better this way. After all, he’s only ever agreed to play soccer in order to tag along with Reo. Playing soccer with him should bring him enough happiness. And if Reo wants him to choose him, then isn’t that a win-win?
One night, he hides them under the covers and asks, “Are you happy, Reo?”
He only gets a blank look in response, no light in his eyes.
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“Then choose me,” Reo says, and Nagi obliges.
Even when it leads to their team being whittled down to just the two of them. Reo withdraws to himself the further they spend time together, until they’re facing off with Shidou Ryuusei, who sneers at them and calls their soccer lacking explosiveness.
“I’ll pick purple guy then.” Shidou leers and licks his lips. “He looks like he’d do well to kneel in front of me while crying prettily.”
He’s always thought that his strengths included being a pacifist, opting out of a fight through all means possible. His fists are clenched and knuckles are bruised after ten minutes, and he finds himself saying, “We’re both going to quit. I’m not letting you take Reo.”
Reo looks at the blood in his hands blankly, and doesn’t speak.
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“Then choose me,” Reo says, and Nagi obliges.
Even when it leads to them being out of Blue Lock not even a week later, with Reo’s father doling out the ultimatum for his son to quit soccer since he couldn’t produce results.
“I’ll go with you anywhere,” he promises, holding the other’s trembling hands. “My parents are good at living off-the-radar, I can take you away, Reo.”
Reo shakes his head, a blank look in his eyes.
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“Then choose me,” Reo says, and Nagi stops in his tracks.
There’s a saying that time travel is possible with black holes, where one must be faster than the speed of light in order to traverse it. If it’s possible to travel back in time, he’d probably choose this moment.
He’s always found himself listening closely to Reo’s words and making them into reality.
His desire to not participate in any sort of physical activity stops when he hears the earnest, excited, “Let’s play soccer!”
His reluctance to join Blue Lock is whittled away by Reo’s passionate plan to use Blue Lock as the stepping stone to become a member of the national team.
His disbelief in how Blue Lock would develop his potential is stomped away by Reo pulling on his lapels and declaring, “I will make Nagi into the number one striker in the world! That’s my ego!”
His aversion to participating in a game that would only have one winner—and therefore would eventually force them to be enemies—is soothed by Reo’s agreement to promise that he’d stay with him until the end.
His disinterest in scoring for himself and wanting to use Reo’s points to get his phone back—is kicked away with Reo’s refusal and subsequent command that he score those three points himself.
His acceptance of one loss against those crocodile brothers, since it wouldn’t matter to their ranking anyway, disappears when Reo tells him, “Losing is not allowed if we want to be the strongest!”
Losing isn’t allowed. As expected of someone who’s like a protagonist, Reo’s dreams and goals are many and lofty. But they all lead to them winning the World Cup together in the end. All of this should just be a stepping stone for Reo’s dreams, and he’s tagging along, stepping on them along the way.
Losing isn’t allowed, but they’ve still lost to Isagi and his team.
He’s still ranked super-low, despite being the best team in their stratum. If he already can’t win against guys of this level, then how could he continue tagging along and making his dream come true?
He needs to be stronger. He needs to squash the frustration of losing. He needs to further seek this curiosity of his, of how far he could go in unlocking his potential. That way, he could be a protagonist too, and continue being by Reo’s side, winning everything together.
“Then choose me,” Reo says, and Nagi stops in his tracks.
Every cell in his body urges him to pay tribute to the king and follow his words.
But what would come after choosing him at this point?
He hasn’t improved that much yet. Having two playmakers in one team isn’t that wise, even if Reo’s ability to pacify the masses would probably calm down the tensions in their team. And if that happens, if the play between him, Isagi and Barou become smoother, they’d end up barreling through the competition like before.
And then what would happen after?
Reo has improved a lot, being with Chigiri and Kunigami. If they keep on improving separately, wouldn’t that increase the chances of being invincible once they reunite?
Nagi’s mind isn’t as crafty as Reo. If he could think of these things, surely Reo has already thought of them, right? They know each other very well, after all.
They know each other very well, so—
“You’ve changed, Nagi. You’re now a guy who’s gone ahead and forgotten our promise.”
—it hurts, like a blow directly gouging his chest.
Even though he’s had to endure the loneliness of not being together, even though he’s had to endure doing troublesome things, he’s doing all of this because of Reo, because of their promise. And now Reo’s saying that he’s forgotten it?
“You’re the one who’s forgotten our promise.” He’s not someone who likes to fight. He doesn’t like arguing. He knows that Reo’s just saying it to hurt him, and he does it so well, because it cuts where it hurts the most.
Even if he chooses him at this point, even if he so very badly wants to choose him each and every time, where would it lead them?
If Nagi never manages to unlock his full potential, if Nagi never manages to become someone worthy of being considered as the strongest in Reo’s eyes, if Nagi ends up boring Reo, and Reo ends up being bored of this in the same way that he’s bored of a life where everything is served to his whims—
He isn’t as crafty as Reo, not as good with words to set things to a certain direction. But he tries, nevertheless. Bringing up boredom doesn’t work, so he goes for something that would stop them from fighting further, for something that would spark a fighting spirit in Reo’s eyes so he wouldn’t be a blank shell, so he’d continue moving forward.
“You’re troublesome, Reo.”
He marches onward, even if it pains him.
If he’s faster than the speed of light—if he’s faster in choosing him and stopping him from accusing him of forgetting their promise—if he could guarantee that the light in Reo’s eyes never goes away—
He clenches his fists.
It’s going to be fine.
Reo’s smart and knows him well, so he’d understand him.
“Stay with me until the end,” he murmurs to himself, and glances at the hallways that are interconnected, at this place that locks them in together.
This small distance is nothing, because they’re always going to be forever linked.
He knows that they’d reunite soon—he believes in the speed of his light.
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end