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Each step felt like walking on fire barefoot, his lungs struggling to take in oxygen. Regulus’ words played over and over again in his head, worry seeping into his features as his hands trembled slightly from where they were stuffed into his pocket.
“We need to talk.” scribbled in the familiar, fancy script on the corner of a cheap napkin, the words sat in his pocket, his fingers fiddling with it every now and then.
“Regulus?” He forced the words out of where they were stuck in his throat, opening the door to the ‘Come and Go’ room and scanning it for the only person on his mind, his heart hammering in his chest.
“James.” sharp grey eyes met warm hazel, the rims red from what had to be at least an hour of crying. A red and yellow sweater, James’ sweater, hung loosely off his shoulder, exposing the pale skin beneath. His finger fidgeted with the rings on them, one silver star with emerald eyes calling out to the Gryffindor.
“Hey, love. Got your note, what’s wrong?” He tried. He did. Tried so hard to believe that nothing was wrong, that Regulus just wanted to talk about plans for the holidays, that they were okay. But he couldn’t stop his voice from breaking and cracking as he said those words, as he thought about the note sitting in his pocket.
“Yeah, James I–we, we can’t do this. You–you deserve so much better .” He averted his eyes at the last part, not letting James look into his eyes and decipher his emotions.
“What? Reg–I, I don’t need any better. I need you. Regulus Arcturus Black, you’re all I need. I don’t need better, there is no better–” He could feel tears threatening to spill out, his heart breaking into pieces in his chest.
“No! You don’t get it! I’m not a bad person, I’m a cruel person, I’m my mother’s son, James.” Regulus cut him off, looking up now, tears streaking down his face.
“Your mother, is that it? She put you up to this? Reg, fuck her. She doesn’t get to dictate your life.” He reached forward for him, his finger tightening around the sleeve of his sweater, carefully not to touch Regulus himself. Gently he tugged him towards him, meeting him in the middle of the room, right beside the four-poster bed in the centre of the room.
“You don’t get it,” His voice cracked and cut him up inside, wobbly and shaky and nothing like how he was raised to speak. But he was talking to James Potter, and he always could make Regulus do things his mother would hate to know about.
Raising one shaky hand, he pulled the sleeve of his sweater up, revealing his left arm. And Merlin did it hurt seeing James’ face fall, taking in a deep breath like he was just punched in the gut.
“Regulus–I, you, why?” He walked past Regulus to collapse onto the bed, his arms resting on his knees as he reached forward to pull Regulus in, letting him collapse into his arms, completely enveloped in all that is James Potter.
“ I was so so scared James. He was there and I–I blacked out, I couldn’t think he just– he was just there and I was too scared to say no, I’m so sorry James , I’m so sorry, I should have said ‘no’, I could’ve but he was just so–I was just–” his voice cracked, his sobs getting louder and ridding his lungs of any air.
“Shh, shh, slowly, Regulus, slowly. Who was there? Who is he ?” Rubbing circles into Regulus’ back, he pulled him up and onto his lap so he could look into Regulus’ eyes, see the pain, see the way he trembled as he breathed in, fingers tightening around Jame’s shirt.
“The dark lord– Voldemort, he was there James, she called him there,” He gasped out, fingers tightening around James’ wrist.
“Shh, look at me Reggie. Up here, love, yes,” gently tilting Regulus’ head up, he encouraged him to look into his eyes, moving one thumb up to brush his tears away.
“I don’t know what to do anymore, James,” Regulus’ voice was barely above a whisper, his eyes wide and showing so much more emotion than he would usually allow.
“You trust in me, and I trust in you. That’s what we’ll do Reg. We get through this together, me and you.” James flashed what he hoped was a reassuring smile at Regulus, leaning back and plopping down onto
the bed with him in his arms.
“Cry it out love, let it all out. We’ll deal with this when you’re ready, okay? I’ll wait,” He leaned over to say, his voice soft and soothing. Gently, he ran his hands through Regulus’ curls, holding him close until the shaking became barely noticeable trembles.
“I—My brother, James,” he whispered against James’ collarbone, burying himself into the crook of his neck, the tears gone but his body still shaking slightly.
“I’ll handle Sirius, we can handle Sirius,” he whispered into his ear, rubbing soothing circles into his scalp.
“It’ll—We’ll be okay, Regulus. I promise,”