Work Text:
Kita…
Kitaaa…
Kitaaaaaaaaaaaaa…
Hau… This is too hard… I wanna hold your hand already…
???: “Psst! Goto! Don’t give up now!”
A classmate sitting in front of me whispered this, in an effort to make sure that the teacher currently giving a lecture could not hear.
Classmate: “Only 30 minutes left! You can do it!”
Nope. Impossible. Not happening.
But it’s not my fault… That request of hers was just unreasonable… and all it made me do was think of her even more… How am I supposed to focus like that?!
Yeah, it’s impossible. I’m just gonna daydream until I can see you again.
——————————————————————————————————————————
Some hours earlier…
???: “Ah! Hitori!!”
As I sit in my usual gloomy manner on the train to school, I hear someone call out my name as the doors open for our current stop. I look up to a girl with bright red hair and beautiful yellow eyes, Ikuyo Kita. My… g-girlfriend quickly runs over and takes a seat beside me… I honestly still can’t believe I can call her that… She’s just so perfect…
Hitori: “A-ah, um, good morning Ki-…Ikuyo!”
Calling her Kita is still ingrained in my head, but I’m trying my best to call her by her first name like she requested when we see each other… No matter how much embarrassment I have to push down…
Kita: “Ehehe, good morning! How’s my Hitori doing today?”
Ah… I can feel my heart starting to race. Just seeing her and hearing those words… Even if I’ve heard them before, I just can’t help but feel so happy!
Eh? But, wait-
Hitori: “I-is this why you asked what train I took yesterday?”
Kita: “Of course! I wanna spend as much time as possible with you after all!”
Awawawa…
Subconsciously, as if on instinct, I reach out my hand to grasp hers. This has become a ritual of sorts - it helps me calm down, but also… I just like holding her hand. I would never let go, if possible…
Kita: “So? You didn’t answer my question! How’s my beautiful girlfriend doing today?”
I couldn’t help but blush.
Hitori: “E-e-eh?! A-ah, I’m, um, doing fine, a l-little tired but that’s the usual for me!”
In response, Kita quickly moved her face towards mine, giving me a kiss that went on just a few seconds longer than usual, forcing back any lingering tiredness in place of my ever faster beating heart. Slowly, she drew away, then looked me directly in my eyes.
Kita: “How’s that? Feeling any better?”
Hitori: “Awawawa…”
Aaaaaah Kita, you’ve given me too much energy for the morning, I feel like I’m overloading!!!
Kita: “Ah, sorry! Guess that was a bit much! I just really wanted to kiss you…”
Hitori: “Awa… N-no, it’s okay… I-I asked for lots, so…”
Kita giggled in response and began resting her head on my shoulder, our hands still linked. I felt like I could sink into her warmth.
Hitori: “So, um, what about you?”
Kita: “Hm? Oh! I’m doing great, now that I’m with myyyy Hitori!”
Hitori: “I wish… I wish we weren’t in different classes…”
I could hold your hand the whole time…
Kita: “Oh? Do you have trouble focusing in class?”
It seems she picked up on the underlying meaning of my sentence.
Hitori: “Yes. Actually, my marks seem to be getting worse and worse each test, which leads to me focusing even less, which leads to worse marks, which leads to focusing less… I’m trapped in a spiral!”
Kita: “That’s no good, Hitori! This stuff gets harder as the years go on too.”
Hitori: “C-could you help me?… Please, Ikuyo?”
She can do anything… So, surely she’s gotta have some solution that even someone like me can get…
Kita: “Yes, yes, of course I’ll help you, silly. You’ve helped me so much with guitar, I really want to return the favor!”
Eh? But that doesn’t matter… Guitar is all I’m good at anyways…
Kita: “First things first though, we’ve got to fix your habits. I really want you to try to pay attention. Even if it’s not that interesting, just try to take notes on what sounds important. Hm… but this will work best with an incentive so…”
For some reason, I don’t like where this is going…
Kita: “Hm, okay, this will be tough but bear with me. We can still have our practice together at lunch but unless you show me a page of notes, there’s a ‘no hand-holding’ rule in effect.”
…Eh?
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH?!
DIDN’T YOU JUST SAY SOMETHING IMPOSSIBLE?!
…But…
Maybe this is something someone like me needs to do in order to stay with someone like Kita…
Hitori: “…I-I’ll try.”
Kita: “Yeah! That’s all I ask.”
She says this with a smile that threatens to send my heart aflutter. But I carry on, and soon we arrive at Shuka High.
We head to my classroom first. Kita stays to talk with me for as long as possible. This in itself wasn’t a strange occurrence, as our practice sessions at lunch became more well known after the Culture Festival, but it had become different recently. Despite my fears, Kita kept holding my hand, even in the classroom, earning the curious looks of a few students early on, but over the past week or two that too has become another usual thing about us. Honestly… I still feel in over my head with her…
Just before the warning bell usually rings, I see Kita walk over to the two girls who sit in front of me, whispering with them.
Both girls: “Awwwwww, that’s so cute!”
Kita: “Isn’t it? So, can I trust you two to keep an eye on her?”
Classmate: “Yep! We won’t let you down, Kita!”
I’m not entirely sure what she said, but it was probably about me, which is… embarrassing…
Before I can ruminate on it any longer, the warning bell rings.
Kita: “Looks like I gotta go! I’ll see you at lunch, Hitori! Remember, just try your best, I believe in you.”
Hitori: “Eh?! Oh, um, see you later, Ikuyo…”
She… believes in me?
…Maybe I can actually do this then!
——————————————————————————————————————————
And now, back to present times, with Hitori’s declaration: “Yeah, it’s impossible. I’m just gonna daydream until I can see you again.”
It was almost time for our lunch break, so it had been about 3 hours since I gave Hitori her challenge.
Kita: “I hope I wasn’t too tough on her…”
Honestly, you’d think not holding hands would be a pretty easy thing to live without, but for us it’s like a daily necessity. Not that I particularly mind… Holding Hitori’s delicate hand in mine… Ahhh, really, what more could I ask for?
Classmate: “Look, she’s doing it again!”
Classmate: “Man, what do you do to get a smile like that out of her?”
Upon hearing murmurs about me, I realized that my emotions were definitely showing on my face, and that I had fallen out of focus mid-lecture…
Wait a minute… Didn’t I just get on Hitori’s case for this exact situation? And I’m daydreaming about the very thing I took away?...
Kita: “Wow, I really am hopeless.”
Hopelessly in love, it seems.
Before long, the lecture ended with the ring of the bell, declaring that the time for lunch had finally arrived. As I was packing my notebook and writing utensils, a few girls walked over. I don’t know them particularly well, but I obviously know them as classmates. I think they’re the ones who were whispering about me earlier… They invite me to lunch, but I tell them I already have plans and start to head out. As I leave, I can hear them whispering to each other once more.
Classmate: “See, I told you. Now that she’s got Goto, we don’t stand a chance.”
Classmate: “Haah, I guess you’re right, but it hurts to have my hopes crushed like that. I guess once you have someone who’s at your beck and call, it’s hard to go back.”
At my beck and call? Are you kidding? That fits me far more than Hitori. I think I might spoil her a little too much sometimes… but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. What’s wrong with spoiling the one you love? And besides, I’m the one who’s desperately rushing to see her now…
But, I wonder… Does Hitori think of it the way that they do? I thought I made it clear that I’m hers, without any exception, but if she thinks like they do… Maybe my condition this morning had the opposite effect of what I intended…
With this thought in mind, I rushed as fast as I could to Hitori’s classroom. Partly because of this realization, but also because of the ever-growing desire to see her. In record time, I arrived and slid the door open.
Kita: “Hitori!”
I quickly rushed over to her.
Hitori: “I-Ikuyo! I-I-I-I-I-”
Kita: “I’m sorry! I’m a complete hypocrite, I couldn’t stop thinking of you during the lecture today, please let me cancel the challenge!”
While I was desperate for her response, I could see her face of panic and disappointment quickly turn to a sheepish glee. Based on her initial response to me, I can pretty much assume how her lecture went, but I don’t care.
Hitori: “Okay, we can cancel it. So… I-is hand-holding back on-WAH”
Before she even finished, I snatched her hand in mine and quickly brought it to my face. I didn’t have to wait any longer than normal, yet just the thought of having to was enough to make me crave it this badly.
Hitori: “I-Ikuyo, p-people can see!”
Kita: “Don’t careeeeee. You’ve done this to me, you know? You hijacked my brain and took over my thoughts.”
Hitori: “Eh? U-um, sorry?”
Kita: “Don’t be, it makes me happy.”
Hitori: “W-well, you’re on my mind all the time too, Ikuyo… I couldn’t even think about class today, i-it was only you… All because of your challenge… So, i-it’s not my fault that it didn’t work…”
A pouty Hitori was quite the rare occurrence, and one I was quite happy to take in slowly. In fact, seeing this at all makes me so happy. Hitori is always too scared to say what she’s really thinking, she avoids conflict, so for her to show me even this level of expression… Hauuuuu, even this is so cute!
I swiftly unlinked hands with her and wrapped both of my arms around her instead. Any subtlety in this classroom has gone out the window, but I don’t care!
Kita: “Ahaha! I guess so! We’re both just too poisonous to each other’s minds… But I like it that way! I hope I keep thinking of you forever!”
Hitori blushed and hid her face upon hearing that, seemingly snuffing out any opportunity to stay pouty. One day she’ll figure out that I can only say these embarrassing things because she gets embarrassed for me, but I’ll abuse my power while I have the chance hehe.
Kita: “Now, let’s go! We gotta hurry and cram in some practice before lunch ends!”
Hitori: “O-oh, right!”
In her own little act of revenge, she took my hand and led the way. Too bad for her that I like this approach too!
——————————————————————————————————————————
Hitori: “Okay, let’s stop there for now. You’re doing great, Ikuyo!”
Kita: “It’s only ‘cause I have such a great teacher! Besides, you’re basically teaching me shortcuts for a lot of these songs, aren’t you? I’m sure you could play them way better than me!”
Hitori: “Your practice is just as important, and it’s coming through clearly in your playing. And you're doing vocals too, so you don’t need to worry about doing any technical playing just yet. I’m sure we’ll be able to focus on that one day at the rate you’re going, though!”
It’s always so nice to see how passionately she talks about music. Some would see this and think she’s become a different person, but that’s not right. Hitori loves talking about her interests as much as anyone else, she just has to feel comfortable enough to let it out. I, for one, can’t get enough of it.
Kita: “Hmmm, even if I do, one day, get to that level of skill, I want you to keep being my teacher, forever.”
Hitori: “Eh? O-oh, of course. As long as you want to, I’ll keep doing it.”
That wording…
Kita: “Do you not like this, Hitori?”
Hitori: “N-no, that’s wrong! It’s true I was unsure at first, but I’ve come to r-really like the time we spend together practicing, it’s just… If you didn’t want to do it anymore, I wouldn’t force it…”
Kita: “But, Hitori, if you liked something then I’d want to keep doing it anyways, you know?”
Hitori: “Huh? O-oh.”
Despite my saying that, it seems like the message didn’t go through. Haah, this self-doubting anxiety can be tough to break through, huh? But no worries! I’ve never lost to anyone before! One day, I’ll make this girl realize just how badly I’ve fallen for her.
——————————————————————————————————————————
After my practice with Kita ended, we headed back to our respective classes and said farewell until the school day came to a close. Ironically, the classes were much easier to focus on without the punishment looming in the air, although thoughts of Kita still invaded my mind. In a time that felt miniscule compared to the first half of the day, classes came to an end and I was packing up. Before I could leave, however, my classmates who encouraged me earlier came over.
Classmate: “Great attempt today, Hitori! If you keep up the focus you had in the second half of the day, I’m sure you can pass for sure!”
Hitori: “E-eh? O-oh, um, t-thanks. I-I’ll keep trying…I don’t want to let Ikuyo down.”
Classmate: “Huh?”
Hitori: “B-bye.”
Before the conversation continues, I quickly rush out of the room to meet with Kita.
Classmate: “She’s completely head over heels for you, though…”
She seemed to say something as I was leaving but I couldn’t quite catch it. Either way, I quickly maneuvered to the entrance of the school, where she was waiting.
Kita: “Hey, Hitori!”
Before we even spoke another word to each other, I skipped over and gave her a kiss. She clearly wasn’t expecting it which resulted in a rare blush.
Kita: “H-hey, what was that for? Not that I’m complaining.”
Truthfully, I didn’t have a reason, I just really wanted to. I can’t just come out and say that though, so…
Hitori: “For practice today!”
Kita: “Ehehe, well, thank you!”
Saying that, she moved her hand over to mine and we began to walk towards the station to head home. We had the day off from working at Starry, so we took our time examining the view around us. Although we’d both seen this path a million times, it’s always a little bit more special when you’re with someone else.
Eventually, we saw a couple out in a grassy area with a blanket laid out. They seemed to be enjoying a picnic. This was probably one of the last chances they would have, as the months changed and the city grew colder.
Kita: “Ahhh, isn’t that just the most romantic thing ever?”
Hitori: “Ah, a picnic… Y-you think so?”
Truthfully, I couldn’t disagree more. If it’s good enough weather for it, then it usually means I have to deal with bugs and a heat far too great for me. I know it’s my introvert shining through but I can’t help it…
Kita: “Nope, not the picnic!”
Hitori: “?”
Kita: “A homemade meal from the one you like! Honestly, just thinking about it… Ehehe!”
A homemade meal? As in, something I would make for her? Hmm, well it’s a lot better than the picnic. In a light whisper, I think aloud:
Hitori: “I could probably do that, maybe…”
Kita: “REALLY?!”
AAA?!
Danger! Danger! Your whisper has been heard!
I FIGURED THAT MUCH OUT!
Hitori: “N-no! W-well, um, not no, I-I mean, j-just-“
Kita: *Kit-auraaaaaaaaaaaaaa*
Ah, come onnnnn, don’t use that on me now!
Hitori: “W-well, I-“
…
…
Hitori: “…Y-yes, I want to make something for you!”
Kita: “YAAAAAAAY!”
In celebration, Kita wrapped both arms around me and pulled me into a tight embrace. It’s true that in any other circumstances I’d be delighted at this moment, but I’m currently too busy figuring out how on earth I can escape the obvious outcome that awaits me.
Kita: “Hmmm, so how about Friday?”
Hitori: “Huh?”
It appears Kita had been speaking the whole time I’d been thinking. I have no idea what she said.
Kita: “Your parents wanted me over soon anyways, right? So why not kill two birds with one stone and do both on Friday?”
Friday…
…FRIDAY?! BUT TODAY’S MONDAY?! YOU’RE GIVING ME A MEASLY FOUR DAYS TO BECOME A GOOD ENOUGH CHEF TO PLEASE YOUR TASTE?!
Kita: “? Does that not work, Hitori?”
Hitori: “N-no, t-that’s fine…”
UNGHHHHH, WHY CAN’T I SAY NO?!
Even I can see it now. There’s no route that leads to my happy end.
>Try my best by Friday
“Ugh, this is awful! Is this all I mean to you? We’re done!”
BAD END
>Try to delay the day
“What? You can’t even be bothered to make something for me? So much for your love…”
BAD END
Welp, I guess this is it for me. Goodbye relationship life. It was beautiful while it lasted. Rest in peace holding Kita’s hand, you will truly be missed…
Kita: “Hey, Hitori.”
Hitori: “Aah?”
Kita: “Thank you. Even just you agreeing to try makes me so, soooooo happy! If I could pick you up right now and fly around with you, I would!”
Hitori: “…That sounds scary.”
Kita: “I’d make it fun! But, really… Thank you, Hitori. You always make me so happy…”
…
…
No, I can’t give up here. I refuse to give up here. The fact that someone like me has made it this far with someone like her in the first place is a miracle… I’d be a fool to let it go without at least giving it my all!
Hitori: “I-I’m… gonna make a homemade meal for you that’s so good, it’ll m-make you even more h-happy!”
Kita looked at me in astonishment for a second before rewarding me with a heartfelt smile, one shouting “you can do it!” from the bottom of her heart.
Huh? Wait a minute… Didn’t I just raise the stakes even more?
…Ah well, no big deal! After all, I’m in love! So what if it’s tough, nothing’s impossible when you’re in love!
——————————————————————————————————————————
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE!
Hitori: “Nope. I’m done. I can’t do this. Goodbye.”
After accepting my fate, my soul slowly left my body. I guess it figured there was no point in sticking around in a future without Kita…
As I fade away, let me explain what events have led me here.
——————————————————————————————————————————
Immediately upon arriving home, I was on a mission. I was the most confident I’d been in months. I immediately raced in search of someone. My impatience quickly ran out before reaching the living room however, so I opted to just shout my demands.
Hitori: “M-m-m-m-mom! I NEED your help! Please t-teach me how to be a legendary chef!”
Dad: “Hm? But, Hitori, Mom’s on a business trip this week, don’t you remember? She’s not getting home until Friday.”
CRACK
Ah… my happy future… My true ending… Gone before my very eyes…
Hitori: “D-Dad, you cook with Mom, r-right? Is there, um, a chance you could teach me?“
Dad: “W-well, um, let’s just say there’s a reason you only see me cooking with your Mom, ahaha.”
His self-deriding laugh served only to drive knives into the depths of my heart.
Hitori: “…O-okay.”
Dad: “Sorry, Hitori… Oh! What about your band mates? Surely, one of them has to be able to make something right?”
Maybe that’s… my last chance! With a slight spring in my step, I rush to my room and pull out my phone.
Hitori: “Now, between Nijika and Ryo, who would-“
…
I opened my prior messages with Nijika to send a new one.
‘ Hello, master chef. I require your expertise in the culinary arts in order to better my own skills. This is a matter of life and death. I beg for your assistance.’
A few seconds went by…
‘ummm…
so basically, you want cooking lessons?’
‘Yes.’
‘okay sure! I’m no master chef but I do a lot of cooking when sis is too busy so I should be able to help with something!’
Hitori: “A-Ah! I did it! I’ve been saved!”
‘Thank you, my savior. I will owe you my life for as long as I draw breath. Is tomorrow an appropriate time to visit?’
‘sure! and np!’
——————————————————————————————————————————
Which brings us to now, where Nijika and Ryo stand witness as my soul has leaves my body and heads for the afterlife.
Nijika: “Wait, wait, wait!”
But before it could get far, our fiery drummer grabbed it and stuffed it back inside my body.
Hitori: “…Why? I was so close to finding peace…”
Nijika: “Come on! You can’t give up one little mess-up with an egg!”
Ryo: “And getting the flour everywhere. Plus, using salt instead of sugar. Oh, and somehow breaking the bowl, I mean why did you even bring a knife over?”
Hitori: “Hauuuuu…”
Nijika: “You are not helping…”
Ryo: “What? It’s impressive in its own right.”
Ryo said this with quite a sly grin, meaning the implication was “it’s impressive how much she sucks”… Hauuu….
Nijika: “Right, right, how about you try making something then?”
Ryo looked away from Nijika, her eyes darting across the room. She quickly hunched and brought her hand close to her mouth, assuming an embarrassed stance.
Ryo: “Well, it’s just… If I make you something, no food would ever be able to satisfy any of you again…”
Nijika: “Alllllllright, no need for rich kids who can’t cook in the kitchen. Homemade food has gotta be from the heart if it’s for someone you really like. We can’t have any negativity or it’ll affect the final product!”
Wow, maybe she’s right… Suddenly, after that positive speech, I’m feeling like I can do this again!
Ryo: “Oh, really? Guess I’ll leave then. Could you make me one then, Nijika?”
Nijika: “WHA-“
Before the blushing girl could turn around, the chaotic bassist had escaped outside of the kitchen.
Nijika: “Y-y-you…”
Hitori: “?”
Nijika: “A-anyway! Hitori, this is about you!”
Hitori: “Oh! Am I about to meet Chef Ijichi?”
Nijika: “Eh? Ah, no, I don’t have a chef hat on hand.”
But you had a lab coat the other day?!
Nijika: “So, basically, to sum out what we’ve tried today, almost everything is too much for you right now.”
Hitori: “Right… I’m sorry for being such a failure…”
I slump as I say this, feeling like nothing but a puddle of pink sludge.
Nijika: “But! Not all hope is lost! Your answer… is cake!”
Hitori: “Cake?”
Nijika: “Yeah! It’s easy to memorize and it’s cute, so Kita will love it!”
Is this… my savior?! Again?!
Hitori: “R-right! T-then I’ll give it a try!”
All in the pursuit of living up to Kita’s expectations, I tried my hardest to make a cake! It took some help from Nijika… A lot of help, actually, but through blood, sweat, and tears, the cake was finished! And it tasted decent! Now I just needed to memorize all of these steps and not mess up on the day of! Mwahaha… Prepare for a new side of myself, Kita… With this, you’ll never want to leave my side!
Nijika: “Um, Bocchi? Your second cake is burning right now.”
Hitori: “Eh? …AAH!”
…Haah, so that’s my punishment for trying to stand with the greats…
——————————————————————————————————————————
The week trudged on slowly, as my anticipation for Friday continued to grow. Everything seems to move slower when you’re looking forward to something in the future but… Aaaaaah, I just can’t help it! I wanna have homemade Hitori food so bad!!!
But finally, my patience was rewarded and the fateful Friday had arrived. I didn’t talk as much with Hitori today. She seemed very focused on what would come after school. I left her with a “Looking forward to tonight!” and left home to change into something a bit more presentable than my school uniform. It’s not like I’m meeting them for the first time or anything, but this is the first time I’m seeing her parents since we started dating. I’m gonna be judged 10x more harshly, so I gotta give it my A-game!!
Kita: “Alright, let’s do this!”
After selecting my best outfit and giving myself some time to prepare, I headed off to the Goto residence.
Kita: “Leaving now, I should arrive justtttt in time for dinner. Aah, I wonder if Hitori’s making it! …Actually, on second thought, that’s probably a little much for her first try. But…”
No matter what it is or when I eat it, I’m sure it’ll be amazing… because it’s from her <3
In what felt like no time at all compared to the week of waiting, I arrived at the Goto household ready for a new night to remember. There was no banner strewn across the house this time. I suppose Hitori was too focused to worry about that kind of extra detail. I stepped up to the door and pressed the doorbell. After some shuffling footsteps on the other side, the entrance was open and-
POP
A party popper awaited me.
Hitori: “W-w-welcome, Ikuyo! A-are you ready for the b-best food you’ve ever tasted?!”
I was momentarily stunned. I had forgotten that Hitori tended to bring a higher energy when events took place at her house. I guess it’s her way of representing how she feels at home, albeit to a slightly extreme level. Can’t say it isn’t cute though.
Kita: “Ehehe! You bet, my Hitori!”
Sneaking in her favorite phrase before anyone else could hear, I took off my shoes in the entrance and followed Hitori into the living room while we awaited dinner. I gave my greetings to her parents, but they seemed busy making dinner, so we didn’t talk for long. I assume the girlfriend talk will come once it’s served so I get a chance to relax while Hitori sits us down at the couch, Futari running wild with JimiHen behind us. In a teasing mood, I decide to bring up the elephant in the room.
Kita: “Sooooo, how goes my homemade special?”
Hitori: “A-ah, no worries! It’s going to rock your world!”
She makes an exaggerated pose that seems to be built on bravado, but I can tell she’s being sincere.
Kita: “Wow! So confident!”
Hitori: “Yes! So, you won’t have to worry about being disappointed anymore!”
…Eh? Disappointed? With you? Why would I ever feel that?
Before I get the chance to verbalize these thoughts, Futari takes interest in our conversation and runs up to my side of the couch.
Futari: “Hey, hey, Kita! So, are you gonna be a new big sis for me?”
Hitori: “GWEH-“
Kita: “H U H?!”
Not good. I had totally relaxed any defenses against dating questions, and she jumped straight to marriage?! Aaaaah, even I can’t help getting embarrassed about something like that! I mean, of course I’ve thought about it… A perfect day with everyone there happy for us, Hitori in a wedding dress… Awawawa…BUT THAT’S IT! I can’t think too much about it or I’ll want it too much… There’s so many precious moments along the way, I wouldn’t want to skip those… Wait, why was I thinking about this again? OH, FUTARI! I need to shut this down, maybe Hitori-
Hitori: *glitching out*
… Aaaah, now I wanna know what you’re imagining! But no! I need to end this before it gets any more out of hand!
Futari: “?”
Kita: “W-w-well, it’s a little bit early for that ahaha… B-but, ummm, I’ll be over more now so we can play a lot!”
Futari: “Hm? Okay!”
After getting that out of me, Futari runs along to play with the dog once more. Haah… Crisis averted. Hitori seems to be recovering too. And as if on cue, Hitori’s parents come out with karaage and various side dishes, as we all sit at the table and dinner begins. After the surprise attack from Futari, nothing in our discussion catches me off guard, and it’s just truly a fun time. Contrary to what every tv show and movie prepared me for, they both just seemed happy for their daughter. I suppose it’s because they already knew me to begin with, but it makes me happy too and allows the conversation to flow smoothly! The only downside is the wind outside getting louder and louder. After enough interruptions, Hitori’s dad pulled out his phone to see what was up with the weather.
Hitori’s dad: “Oh, well that’s not good. Apparently an unexpected storm is hitting us right now, and they don’t think it’s letting up…”
…Has this become a trademark of ours or something?
Hitori: “U-um, I d-don’t think we should send Ikuyo home when it’s like this, s-so…”
Hitori’s mom smiles gently before responding.
Hitori’s mom: “You’re right. Kita, how about you phone home and let them know you’ll be staying here for the night?”
Kita: “Oh, okay! Thank you for your hospitality!”
Honestly, getting to spend a whole night with Hitori… Maybe I should be thanking the storm…
After our arrangement was figured out, dinner was basically over, so Hitori brought me to her room.
Hitori: “U-um, can you wait here for one sec?”
Kita: “Eh? Sure, but why?”
Hitori: “W-well, I’m gonna bring up what I promised and I want it to be a surprise so…”
Oh right! All this storm business made me forget, but I’m getting something made by Hitori tonight too! Ooh, I can’t wait to find out what she made…
Kita: “Got it! I’ll wait here patiently with great anticipation!!”
Hitori: “Y-yes! Get ready to be amazed!”
Confidently, Hitori opened the door and walked back downstairs.
——————————————————————————————————————————
Oh no… This is bad… Like, REALLY bad…
And I did it all perfectly too… I don’t know what went wrong!
I mean… Maybe I forgot a few of the steps that Nijika did yesterday, but that shouldn’t have affected it this much, right?
Aughhhhh, it doesn’t matter how it happened!! The point is it’s ruined… I’m finished… How could I present this after summoning all of my courage just a minute ago…
I can see it now: the moment I present this, she’ll realize the mistake she made dating me, and she can’t even leave because of the storm… Aaaaaaaah why do I ruin everything like this?!
Kita: “Hey, Hitori! Is it finally ready?”
Eh?
Why am I back at my room’s door?
Did I seriously just think all that and still walk all the way upstairs?
Hitori: “A-a-a-a-ah, w-well, um, t-that’s-“
Kita: “? Aren’t you holding it?”
Hitori: “EEK! I-I MEAN, Y-Y-YES, ahaha…”
What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOOOO?!
Running solely on autopilot, I robotically place the plate in front of Kita. It currently has layers of covering on top so as to not reveal the monstrosity of a cake I attempted to make, although even that security will be ripped away soon enough.
Kita: “Uwahhhh! You’ve kept the mystery until the very end! I can’t wait to see what you put your heart and soul into!!”
Hitori: “Y-y-y-y-yes…”
Feeling tears well up in my eyes, I resign myself to my fate as Kita continues to unravel the coverings.
Kita: “Wow, you really wanted it to be a surprise, huh?”
The further she tears into it, the more it feels like it’s my heart itself that’s being exposed, and the moment it’s free, it’ll be crushed relentlessly…
Kita: “Oh! Last one!”
At last, all coverings are removed and what was supposed to be a cake is made the center of attention.
However, the food is not the consistency of a cake.
No, if anything, it’s just a black sludge that’s continually falling apart, becoming something akin to batter.
I can’t even look Kita in the eyes… Before the obvious conclusion happens…
Hitori: “I-I-I-I’M SORRYYYYY”
My tears can no longer be held back as I run away, rushing into my closet, hoping to close myself off from the cruel reality of the world.
Kita: “Eh? But I haven’t even tried it yet…”
——————————————————————————————————————————
Slowly, I walked towards the closet Hitori ran into. I remember her telling me it’s where she feels the most safe. I think… This is my fault. I think Hitori’s the kind of person who wants to do a lot of things, but she needs the push to feel like she’s allowed to. I think I pushed too far this time though… Never in my wildest dreams would I ever want to see her cry.
After reaching the entrance to the closet, I gently knock a few times.
Kita: “Can I come in?”
Hitori: “…”
Kita: “I’ll sit outside then.”
I slowly sit down right beside the door. I can see her outline on the other side. Only a closet door is between us, yet at this moment I feel like she could slip away if I’m not careful.
Kita: “Hey, Hitori? I’m really sorry. Tonight was supposed to be a new great moment to look back on, but I really screwed it up. If I didn’t put all that pressure on you, we could’ve just hung out like usual. I just thought you seemed so excited about it, I wanted to cheer you on… But, I didn’t realize it was weighing down on you so much. I’m sorry.”
Hitori: “-‘s not it…”
I hear a murmur from behind the door.
Kita: “Eh? I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you.”
Slowly, and shakily, the closet door is opened, and I’m met with a sight I didn’t want to see, a tearful Hitori.
Hitori: “That’s not it… It’s not about pressure… It’s not about you at all… It’s just me. You… You help me so much, and you don’t even realize how much… But I-I can’t do anything for you… It was only a matter of time before you realized that someone great like you would be making a mistake dating someone like m-me… But today just proved that. I can’t even bake you a cake… I know I’m just a d-disappointment so you can just forget about me…”
Hitori dejectedly crawled back into her closet, holding herself in a fetal position. I held the door open, so that she couldn’t close it while I collected my thoughts.
Aaaaah, I really messed up… Looking back, there were a lot of signs for this. But… Did she really feel this way this whole time? And she’s the one trying to apologize?
I took my time crawling into the closet, so as to not introduce any more pressure into the situation. It really wasn’t big enough for two people, but Hitori was deliberately not taking up much room. Gently, I wrapped my arms around Hitori from behind and brought my face closer to her ears, whispering any further statements so that no one but us could hear.
Kita: “Hey, did you know I can’t cook at all?”
Hitori: “…”
Kita: “It’s true! I’ve tried so many times but it just always tastes awful. The only thing I’m any good at is the presentation, but that really doesn’t mean anything when the flavor’s wrong.”
Hitori: “…”
Kita: “And not just that, I can’t figure out laundry for the life of me, I don’t ever make my bed so my room’s a mess whenever no one’s visiting, some days I don’t even want to get out of bed, oh, and I’m just awful with my spending money hehe-“
Hitori: “Why…”
She lifts her head and slightly turns it towards me upon asking this. I can tell it took just about everything in her just to say it. In response, I give her a tender smile.
Kita: “I’m not whatever perfect version of me you have in your head. I have a lot of flaws, I just try not to show them. And you don’t realize how much just being with you has made me want to improve. I’ve never once thought you were disappointing, that’s not even a thought I’m capable of having! I know you’re always trying your best at everything you do, and that makes me so happy. And even if you’re not perfect at everything, that’s not an issue because I want to help you… No, it’s even more selfish than that, I want you to rely on me. I want you to feel like we can do anything together, because… That’s how I feel!”
Hitori: “Then… Y-you don’t h-hate me?”
Kita: “Huuuuuuuh? Have you forgotten my confession already? I told you! I like like LIKE you, silly! And it’s only gotten stronger since then… It’s like every part of me just wants to be near you! Honestly, do you know how much I think about you? Even right now, can’t you feel my heart going ba-dump ba-dump just from holding you?”
Hitori: “E-even when you could find someone better?”
Sensing this is the last barrier to break through, I tighten my hug, bringing us even closer together.
Kita: “I’ll say it as many times as it takes - the one I like is Hitori Goto, no one else. I don’t want anyone else. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to in order to keep me around, I’m already addicted to the person I came to like. I’m sorry if I made you feel like you had to. Just keep doing what makes you happy, because a happy Hitori is the one I like the most.”
With the barriers broken, the Hitori I love finally came back to me.
Hitori: “Ikuyo, I-I’m sorry!”
She quickly turned around and hugged me while facing me, getting rid of the rest of her tears on my shoulder. Aah, this is just like when we confessed to each other the first time!
Kita: “Why are you apologizing?”
Hitori: “I let my misunderstanding overpower my belief in how you felt about me… I’m really, really sorry.”
Kita: “Ah… It’s okay. I’m sorry for not noticing your feelings sooner. Let’s just say we’re both at fault and move forward, together! Okay?”
Hitori: “Okay…”
Kita: “Soooo, do I get-“
Before I can even finish reading, my lips are rewarded with the soft sensation of hers.
Hitori: “Ehehe…”
Aaaah, that’s it. That’s the smile I fell for. Crap, I think my heart’s beating even faster. I want to keep her smiling, for as long as I can…
Kita: “Oh! By the way, your cake tasted really good!”
Hitori: “E-eh?! …Really?”
Kita: “Yeah! I was surprised by how it looked at first, but you absolutely nailed the inside, so tasty! I can tell you put your heart into making it, and it makes me so happy.”
Hitori: “T-thank you… I, um, I want to make other things for you in the future!!”
She probably said that at a louder volume than she intended, but it’s okay, no matter the volume it still would’ve boosted my heart rate once more.
Kita: “Wowwwwww! You’re the best Hitori!!!! Hey, hey! Could I… help you the next time you try making something? I know I’m a crappy cook on my own but…”
Hitori: “O-of course! I-I’d love that!! M-maybe with your help, it won’t turn out like that… cake.”
Kita: “Ehehe, I’ll do my best! It’s like how we play guitar together!”
Hitori: “Eh? Oh, y-yeah I guess so.”
Kita: “It’s like I said! The two of us can do anything! We might both shine in different ways, but we’ll always shine brightest together!”
Hitori: “Like stars?”
Kita: “Exactly! Ehehe.”
——————————————————————————————————————————
With the love in their hearts reinvigorated, the two left the closet and relaxed in the bedroom proper once more. They ate the entire remains of the cake and both agreed it was delicious. After discussing it with Hitori’s mother, they decided that the next day they would go out to get cake ingredients and bake one together before Kita left for the day. Now, the night comes to a close, as they talk with each other one last time before drifting off into sleep.
——————————————————————————————————————————
We decided to sleep in the same bed. Usually, I’d be far too embarrassed to share a bed with Kita but after tonight’s events… I just want to hold onto her warmth. Although we had just settled in, she turned her head to face me. It seems we’re getting in some last talks for the night, though at a similar whisper level to when we were in the closet.
Kita: “Hey, did my Hitori have a good day today?”
Hitori: “Y-yes! I-I’m sor- …No, thank you for today, Ikuyo. What you told me in the closet, um, it made my heart go ba-dump too…”
Kita: “Hauuu, I’m so glad! I would kiss you right now but I’m not sure I’d be able to sleep after…”
Hitori: “M-me neither… But, can I at least hold your hand?”
Kita: “You don’t ever have to ask for that!”
In the darkness, I found her hand and quickly took hold of it. For some reason, it felt even warmer than usual. Either way, it provided me with the tranquil feeling I've fallen for without delay.
Kita: “Hey, Hitori… Did today end up being memorable in the end? For the right reasons?”
Hitori: “Yes… It’s another day where I got to hear m-my favorite person say ‘I like you!’”
Kita: “I can say that every day if you want.”
Hitori: “Please, don’t… I’m not sure my heart could take it…”
Kita: “Ehehe! I’m glad… Today, I got to say how I feel about our relationship, so it’s memorable for me too… I hope we keep shining together, Hitori… Forever.”
Hitori: “W-we will! A-and we should show that energy going forward in Kessoku Band too! Show them how we’ve grown…”
Kita: “You’re right! In the next show we have, we’ll blow everyone away with our amazing teamwork!”
Kita lowered her voice even further before continuing on, like she wanted to make sure I was the only person in the whole world who could hear her… Which made me happy, as well.
Kita: “…Hey, you know, I’ve found everything I wanted now… A group that’s as close as family, and someone who I have an even more special bond with… I wonder if this was fate, or if I was just that lucky…”
…I can’t say “I like you” right now, it’s too embarrassing, but I want her to know how I feel.
Hitori: “I don’t know… But, I think… No matter what, no matter where I met you, m-my heart would always go ba-dump from seeing you…”
Kita doesn’t respond, but I feel her hand grasp mine a little harder. After a brief silence, she closes our talk for the night.
Kita: “Yup, I knew it, you are the best girlfriend ever, Hitori… I think we should probably sleep now. Gotta have enough energy to make a perfect cake! But, if I can have one selfish wish… I hope I see you in my dreams tonight too, so we’re never apart… Well, goodnight, my Hitori.”
Hitori: “G-goodnight, Ikuyo!!”
Trying to make me fall asleep just like that… Easier said than done!! But, it’s okay… I have the same selfish wish tonight.
…
…
Ten minutes pass and I’m unable to fall asleep. I feel like I need to do something. Lying on my back, I turn my head to look at Kita. She’s on her side, facing away from me. I think she’s asleep. In the quietest whisper I can manage, one so quiet that you would have to be awake to acknowledge it, I ask the question.
Hitori: “Hey, are you awake?”
…
…
I see. Then here goes.
Hitori: “You know, Nijika told me I should confess to you first if I didn’t want you to be taken by someone else, but I was too scared… Even now, saying “I like you” to your face is just… so embarrassing. But-“
I slowly, very slowly, wrap my arms around her stomach and get closer to her. I can feel her warmth as if it's my own. It’s a feeling that would make stuffed animals obsolete.
Hitori: “I’m gonna try hard to say “I like you” to your face… B-because it makes me really happy when you say it to me. But, for now, I hope this influences your dreams a little… I like you s-s-soooo much, Ikuyo. Actually, that’s not enough…”
Resolving myself, I prepare words that would be truly impossible to say while she’s awake.
Hitori: “J-j-just for this dream and because I want to spoil you, for not being able to confess… I’ll s-say it first, just in this dream… I-I love you, Ikuyo Kita! A-and I always will! G-g-g-g-goodnight!”
Quickly, I bury my face in the pillow but don’t let go of her. Wishing my love a peaceful dream, I attempt to drift off into my own sleep.
——————————————————————————————————————————
Hitoriiiiiiiiii, you dummy, dummy, dummy, dummy, dummy, dummyyyyyyyyyyy!!! How am I supposed to sleep now?!
I woke up when you put your arms around me, a-and then you say you l-love me before I can say anything?? My heart can only take so much!!!
Kyaaaaaaaaaa I wanna say it back right now <3
B-b-but I shouldn’t! Tonight’s already a precious memory for so many reasons… I need to save my first “I love you” for a new day I can make memorable…
But… it’s just so harddddd!
I can feel her grip on me loosening, while her breath becomes more steady… Are you asleep? Are you dreaming? …Hey, if you are… Can you dream of me?
I guess… I’ll just try to follow her lead… But, I’ll repeat one thought in my heart, and maybe… just maybe, it’ll make it into your dream…
I love you so sooooooooo much, Hitori Goto!