Work Text:
nonononono…
You’re stumbling over rubble, uncaringly inhaling thick smoke as your numb legs carry you across the rugged terrain. Your heart thrashes around in your rib cage as your eyes sting with tears. No one ever prepares you for this when you’re learning to fly, not even your worrying thoughts every time either of you got in an X-Wing could prepare you for this.
Just moments ago you’d watched your best friend get shot out of the sky. The best pilot in the Resistance, hell the best pilot in the galaxy had been shot down in front of your very eyes.
It was only supposed to be a recon mission on some desolate planet no one had heard of for many, many years. But of course, in all of the galaxy, the First Order had a spontaneous patrol in the exact area just by the planet you were looking for. Poe was quick to spot them but before the two of you could make a quick getaway the four TIE fighters were barrelling in your direction.
“Shit! We gotta take them down. You take the two on the left and I’ll go right,” Poe’s crackly voice coming through your speaker somehow sounds calm in the middle of all this. It doesn’t matter how many times you fly your X-Wing or fight off the enemy there’s always a twinge of doubt about your ability in the back of your mind every time. But it all washes away every single time Poe utters the words, “Hey, you’re okay. We’ve got this.”
Your X-Wings are close enough that you can look to your right and see him in his cockpit. When he looks over at you it feels like time stands still for just a second, then you share a nod before both flying off in different directions. Your ships are still connected by your communicators so you can hear all the whooping and taunting Poe does as he flies. No matter how distracting he is, the sound of his voice is always something that will calm you. Even as you maneuver around the two TIE Fighters that are close on your tail.
“Poe! I can’t shake these guys,” you’re pulling up trying to roll over the top of the TIE Fighters to get an advantage behind them. You’re too out in the open and you’re finding it difficult to get around them. You’d never want to admit that the First Order is good at anything but maker these pilots are brilliant.
“We need to go down,” you can hear him pushing buttons, obviously trying to figure out a plan on the spot, “ah! There’s some mountains below. We’re better down there, I’ve pinpointed it on your map okay?”
“Shit!” You jump when you suddenly see one of the Tie Fighters in front of you explode, pulling a hard left to avoid going headfirst into it.
“You’re welcome!” You can picture the smug look on Poe’s face, always looking for a way to show off. Always a little reckless too. The man’s still chasing off his own two enemies he didn’t need to pick yours off for you too.
“A little warning next time would be great,” you push a few buttons, pulling up your map on the little screen in front of you. The one TIE now behind you again, chasing you down and shooting off blasters in every direction. You try to pick up speed as you quickly descend into the planet’s atmosphere, your ship beeping and flashing red in warning.
“Careful, Star.” The callsign he’d chosen for you rolling off his tongue with ease still makes your heart do a little flip. Your mind instantaneously shifts focus onto Poe’s X-Wing flying ahead as a TIE Fighter tries to come at him from the side. You’re quick to turn toward it, expertly flipping switches and locking your launcher onto the enemy ship. You can’t help but tease Poe just a little, “Careful, Commander.” The TIE explodes just as you speak and you smugly pull away in a different direction still acutely aware of the ship following you.
“A little warning?” He mocks your previous words and you can’t help but roll your eyes. Your head switches focus back to the task at hand, you’re trying to find an opportunity to lose the guy behind you or make him crash whichever comes first. Your eyes scan the new terrain, the mountains are just ahead but it’s too open and the gap between you and the enemy is closing.
“Change of plan!” You pull up and left suddenly yanking your ship in the direction of some towering trees, “gonna try lose them in the forest.”
“Star.” Poe’s voice warns, he always hates when you split off but you’re the only one he ever trusts to make decisions on the fly. You choose to just ignore the warning until he repeats it just as you spot the TIE Fighter pull away from your rear and go towards Poe. Shit.
“Poe!” You pull back hard, your X-Wing just floating on the spot for a second before it twists and you’re trying to speed toward the other ships.
“Yeah, I see them! Can you get behind them and I’ll lead them-“ A shot clips one of Poe’s wings and you can hear the beeping coming from his control pad.
“Poe?!” You’re immediately concerned, thinking the worst as you catch up.
“I’m good, just a little damage!” If you’d been anyone else you’d have missed the tinge of worry in his voice but you’re you and you’ve been his best friend since day one. His worry bleeds into your brain and your focus falters for just a second you miss a shot on one of your enemies. It comes back quickly as you start to see Poe’s ship slowing down significantly, giving the TIEs an advantage. One tries to take his side again just like the one before while the other continues to chase him from behind. You’re just out of range to lock your blasters on the ship and you’re pushing your X-Wing to its limits now just needing to get a little closer.
“comeoncomeoncomeon!” You’re nervously mumbling, your whole body tense, “YES!” Your control pad shows it’s locked on the target and you fire rapidly before it can change. Before you can even celebrate taking down another First Order pilot you see the red beams shoot out from the TIE Fighter you’d just been pursuing right before it explodes. You watch in horror as it completely takes out Poe’s other wing and he starts spinning toward the ground. He clips the last remaining TIE Fighter on his way down and sends it spinning straight into a tree and explodes.
You screech out his name as you hear his ship beeping through your comms, you can just make out what you think is Poe hitting the control panel with his fist. He doesn’t say a word and you feel stuck in place like some kind of force is holding you there so you can watch your best friend plummet to his death into the forest below. As if someone flips a switch you’re steering down haphazardly, not being as careful as you normally are when landing your X-Wing. It’s barely on the ground before you’re tugging at your seat belts and pulling off your helmet. You forego deploying your ladder instead just ungracefully slipping down the side and landing on the ground with a thud that sends shooting pain up your legs.
There are bits of TIE Fighter smoking or on fire, there are even parts of Poe’s beloved X-Wing scattered on the ground. Your legs feel like lead as you climb up a mound covering where you’re sure Poe crash-landed. Your lungs burn as you inhale the thick smoke in the air and you’re scared. So scared. You reach the top and you almost fall straight back down, the sight before you making your legs weak. That beloved X-Wing he’d spent years working on, the thing that had tally marks scratched into the floor of how many people he’d lost so he always knew what he was fighting for. That godforsaken thing you’d both spent countless late nights fixing up, just in pieces in front of you. It’s hard to see it all, a part obviously exploded and was blowing thick dark smoke out into the air. Your eyes sting and you’re honestly not sure if it’s the smoke or the fact you think your best friend just died and you blame yourself for it already. There were so many things left unsaid, so many adventures you were supposed to go on together. You knew every time either of you flew that this could happen but some part of you thought that you were both invincible, that nothing would ever happen to you and now it has and you’re numb.
Your legs almost give out as you clumsily stumble down the mound. You can feel your body trembling as you search the wreckage for confirmation of your worst fear. You’re coughing now as you get closer finding heaps of metal you start pulling apart in hopes you’re wrong.
He won’t get to see the Residence win.
He won’t get to grow old and have the kids he said he wanted.
You won’t get to spend another day with your best friend.
You won’t get to tell him you love him.
Your thoughts race at light speed and your legs finally give out, you sink to your knees and sobs freely fall out of you.
“I-I hope those tears aren’t for me Star,” his voice is gruff, he’s coughing too and you almost think you’re hearing things until your head snaps around and you can see him limping toward you a few feet away.
“Poe? Poe!” You’re slipping on the ground as you clamber to your feet and then you’re sprinting toward him. Uncaring that you were just on the ground sobbing because you thought he was dead. He’s covered in ash and his flight suit is torn in places and singed in others. You just manage to make out the little cuts littering his handsome face that you know he’ll think make him look tough later. Then when you’re within touching distance your hands reach for his face and you don’t even realise you’re kissing him until you are. You’re kissing Poe Dameron and it feels like heaven. You’re holding onto him for dear life as if he might disappear but relief floods your brain, he’s really there, he’s alive. Then suddenly your logical brain kicks in and you abruptly pull away looking at him wide-eyed with disbelief. Your hands move away and back again before resting on his shoulders and your brain just acts like you didn’t just kiss your best friend but he hisses and recoils one shoulder away from your hand.
“Yeah I’m gonna need you to put that back in,” he jokes like you’re not now just staring at his dislocated shoulder. Your relief-addled brain had clearly missed that upon your quick inspection as you raced over. You’re trying to focus on inspecting him for any further injuries now instead of focusing on the way he tasted like those blue candies he buys in bulk because he eats so many. You don’t even look up at him when he calls your name, busying yourself with looking over a cut on his other arm and thinking if you have enough first aid supplies to treat all of this. Then he says your name a bit more sternly, his working arm swatting both yours away and he reaches up to hold your face. He tilts your head up so you’re looking directly at him now and you watch his smile grow, “how long have you been holding out on me?” You must look completely dumbfounded because he chuckles a little before it turns into a cough and then a groan of pain as he buckles over a little. You’re quick to support him, the trained medic in you taking over as you wrap his uninjured arm around your shoulders.
“Come on,” you pause for a second to collect your thoughts and find the right words to say, “we can talk about this later.” It comes out more like a question, hope seeping out of every word.
“Oh we’re not done with this,” he gives you that smug look he does when he gets a bit cocky and you can’t help the way your elbow just ever so slightly nudges his ribs, sending him into another coughing fit and wiping the cocky look off his face.
You laugh just a little as he scolds you, trying and failing to use his ‘in charge commander’ voice, “not funny! Gonna write you up for that.”
“I’d like to see you try,” still chuckling, you glance at his dislocated shoulder, the side with which he writes and you see it click in his brain when he realises.
“Oh ha ha, laugh at the injured man. I can type with my other hand y’know,” your body’s still riding high on the adrenaline but your heart is calm. Poe’s here with you, you’re both alive and maybe you’re in love with each other and you just never realised.