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He only wanted to keep holding on.
Since they were babies, they slept together in a little turtle pile. A little pile that allowed them to share their warmth, allowed them to feel each other present.
Then they grow a little older and they start sleeping in pairs. Mostly Raph with Mikey, as the oldest were not able to leave the youngest with neither Leo nor Donnie. Poor kid he was anxious and worried something may happen, thus take it upon himself to care for his little brothers. But that was okay, after all Leo and Donnie are self-proclaimed twins, and sharing a room together seems to fit that well.
And Donnie secretly liked that. Being close to at least one of his brothers, when the night grows darker and darker.
The they got a little older…
Their dad brought new beds for them. They still slept in pairs, but now each one has his own bed. His brothers were happy, finally having their own space. Donnie tried not to feel disappointed because of that, they were growing turtles after all and soon or later a single bed wouldn’t fit them.
Donnie thought about it for a while, how to able to feel Leo's warmth, but still respect the space he wanted. The solution was to hold hands while sleeping.
"Leo, can we hold hands?" short, simple, and the best for both of them.
But apparently, it wasn’t…
It did word for few nights, they key words being few nights. Leo let go of Donnie's hand faster and faster each night. The idea was to keep holding hands until they fell asleep, but if Leo let go before they do, then wasn’t that meaningless. So, Donnie done his best to keep their hand connected, even when Leo tried to let go, until…
"Would you stop doing that!"
"Doing what?"
"Keep holding my hand!"
Leo snapped one night. Donnie honestly didn’t understand what Leo meant at that time. Until realization hit him in the face.
"Stop holding my hand while sleeping! we're not babies anymore!"
That was something Leo didn’t want, didn't like. How stupid he was to think that Leo wanted that as well, to think that was the best for both of them. He liked to feel the warmth of his brothers while sleeping, but it seemed like he was the only one.
So, he stopped. Donnie forcefully stopped connecting their hands together before sleep. At least they still together in the same room, right?
Then they grow older and older. Now each have his own room. And as much as Donnie hated that, his brothers liked it. He couldn’t do anything to stop it, just like he couldn't stop the night from coming each time. And the only thing he gain was losing sleep for some nights, but who was counting, no one apparently.
No one knew about his insomnia, even Leo who had it for completely different reason. Donnie kept quiet about it, he couldn't- wouldn’t force them out of their comfort space just to be able to sleep. Plus, he sleeps well when they have a movie night sleepover, which he wouldn't refuse no matter what. Also, another good point, if you would allow him to say, he could finish a lot of his projects in the time he is awake. So, really, not that bad.
He got used to it.
He needed to hold into it.
Leo wasn’t able to sleep. No, it wasn’t because of his insomnia, thank you very much. It was because of the need to make sure his brothers were okay.
It has been a few days since the failed attempt of the alien invasion, since they won. But Leo was restless, jumpy and on his guard all day, and sleepless at night. You would think he was used to it, with all the night he stayed awake, but he wasn’t, and it was driving him crazy. Until...
“’Nardo?”
“Oh, Sorry, did I wake you up?”
“...”
Leo was on his second round to check that his brothers were sleeping soundly. Trying his best to stay stealthy and everything, but apparently, he missed up. Great job Leo, you went and done it, finally waking up one of your brothers from their peaceful sleep to deal with your nonsense. Leo thought bitterly to himself.
He didn’t tell his family about his sleepless nights, it was nothing new, really, with his insomnia and everything. But more than that, Leo didn’t know how to tell them that he wanted them nearby. He can't just waltz to them and say, hey there my dear brothers, would you like to spend the next few nights with me! I can’t sleep and I need help. So, he chose the easiest way and kept quiet about it. Like a turtle do.
“No, you didn’t.”
Leo’s line of thoughts was cut by Donnie’s voice. He looked back toward his brother, and for the first time saw how tired his twin looked, like he hadn’t slept for years or even worse. Leo felt a little bang in his heart.
Why? How? He had been checking every night for the last few days, and as far as he knew Donnie was always sleeping. Even before the whole alien thingy, Leo was jealous of his twin brother for his ability to sleep. A part of him thought that if someone would pull an all-nighter it would have been Donnie, because of all his tech and project. But the reality was that his twin went to bed every night.
“Is it that weird to see me awake?” It seems like Leo’s thought was shown on his face that Donnie was able to pick them easily.
“you’re not the only one who can’t sleep at night, you know” Donnie continued with a flat tone. Looking a Leo with a stoic face, he felt Donnie’s gaze price his heart. He is mad, but why?
Leo wanted to say something, but words stuck in his throat. He didn’t know why, but Leo felt that if he said something now things would get worse. He glanced back to Donnie, when did he looked away, he saw Donnie scooting away and patting the now empty space. Leo just stood there, blinking slowly.
“Come on” it was said softly, gently, and loving. Who are you? And what did you do to my brother? Leo shook his head to shake that thought away and climbed on the bed. It took him few moments to adjust next to Donnie and finding a nice position.
But that wasn't enough to reel Leo to sleep, something still missing. So, he kept shifting, rolling, and turning on the bed. He was aware that would make it hard for Donnie to sleep too.
“sorry” he whispered.
Donnie didn’t reply and Leo started to think that he properly should get up and let Donnie sleep in peace. Then he felt a hand holding his own and he felt the warmth permeate into his body. It was so nice and calming. At that moment Leo knew that was all he ever wanted, to feel someone’s warmth in the darkness of the night, to keep the monster away. Did Donnie know that he needed this? If so, Leo honestly didn’t know how Donnie knew. twins’ telepathy properly, his mind tiredly supplies as he drifts to sleep. He knew they had it.
For the first time since who knew when, Leo was able to fall in a deep peaceful sleep.