Chapter Text
The bluenette walked down the streets of the Lanes alone, struggling to hold back the tears that begged to pour from her eyes. Her vision was blurred and downcast, not daring to look up from the ground as she wandered around without a destination in mind. She just needed to be moving, to be heading somewhere she could physically escape her ghosts to.
Well... If she can do that. If it’s even possible to do that. Maybe it’s more accurate to say that she needed a distraction, to head to a place that didn’t serve as a reminder of her past and what she’d done.
Things are always so hard, and no matter how strong she tries to be-- how strong she really tries to pretend to be-- it just doesn’t work out. Nothing ever works out with her. Failure is simply her fate, and it follows her everywhere she goes like a shadow lurking behind her, waiting for the final traces of light to fade so it could consume her whole.
Much like Silco’s goons. They, too, seem to follow her everywhere she goes these days.
And, you know, part of her gets it. They’re merely acting on orders to keep an eye on her, and it’s because Silco wants to make sure she’s safe because he cares.
Yet, she can’t help but still feel like it’s out of doubt in her abilities to fend for herself-- not out of worry for the lurking dangers residing around every corner of the undercity. It’s not others that concern him, it’s her and her weakness. Because she can’t be trusted to do anything on her own, because she’s Jinx and she jinxes things.
Powder is supposed to be dead. Those were words that she declared herself, killing that identity off out of pure unbridled rage and a mind-numbing heartache that she had been so sure really would kill her.
A fire filled her soul and it spilled out from her mouth, anger dripping off her tongue and scorching the earth beneath her feet. A burning of emotions to let that girl die along with her family, completely abandoning her like Vi did.
But the moment’s passed, and now she’s not quite sure who she is anymore. A jinx, yes, but Jinx? She just doesn’t know anymore.
Silco told her she could reclaim that name, that she could turn it into her strength and her drive instead of her burden. Become Jinx, become what they fear, become free. Excise your doubts, don’t let the past break you. Let that weight go.
How is she supposed to do any of that though? She’s just a kid. Just a useless, explosively problematic kid.
She doesn’t know why Silco took her in, why he puts up with her, why he wastes his efforts trying to help her. It’s done him no good so far, and she honestly can’t see it doing him any good in the future either. She’ll probably accidentally end up getting him killed too. That seems to be all she’s good for anyways...
A shaky sigh slipped past her lips. Big blue eyes started to pool over, glazed over in a film of unshed agony. If she could help it, she wasn’t going to let it out.
So, she ran.
She ran as fast as she could, dodging random bystanders that loitered the decrepit paths and ignoring the sting of the toxic air in her lungs at the exertion. She ran until her feet hurt, and even then, she kept going. She just needed to get away.
And then, she was lost.