Chapter Text
“Ah, Nevermore!” Wednesday’s father, Gomez Addams, exclaimed excitedly as the imposing academy came into view.
“Oh, it is good to be back after all this time dear.” Wednesday’s mother placed one of her hands over Gomez’s, a wistful look in her eye. The two were a study in contrast. Gomez was an heavyset Latino man in a suit, he had a genial, if also mischievous expression. Wednesday’s mother Morticia was as pale as death, with long dark hair and a long dark dress, full of elegance and grace.
Wednesday sat across from her parents in the family limousine, a neutral expression on her face, and a bitter resentment burning in her black heart. She had been forced to transfer to the Nevermore Academy after releasing two bags of piranhas into a school pool, where they bit off the testicle of a boy who had bullied her younger brother, Pugsley. It wasn’t like she was concerned for Pugsley or anything, but because he was soft and weak, it was up to Wednesday to uphold the family honor. Wednesday had to race home to get the piranhas in time for swim practice; she couldn’t manage electric eels on such short notice, but the school had failed to appreciate her... restraint.
“I know you’re upset darling.” Morticia pulled herself away from Gomez for long enough to address Wednesday. “But our choices were either to send you to Nevermore Academy or to St Gertrude's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Girls. Saint Gertrude's was closer to home, in New Jersey, and we did want to keep you close, but Nevermore truly is the superior school.”
Wednesday frowned. Saint Gertrude’s was located, naturally, in New Jersey, where so many incurable criminals resided, and as such that school had the “benefit” of being closer to home. But her parents had ultimately elected to send her to their old school instead, which told Wednesday all she needed to know about where her mother's priorities lay.
“St Gertrude's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Girls sounded like a suitably prestigious school to me.” Wednesday retorted. “You are only sending me to Nevermore because you intend to turn me into a younger version of yourself. If that’s what you wanted, you should have just let Uncle Fester clone you. I am, and will continue to be, my own person.”
“That’s exactly what I want for you, my child of woe, for you to grow and blossom into the dreadful lady I know you will be. You simply refuse to see that I only have your worst interests at heart.” Morticia sighed.
Before Wednesday could make a remark about how heartless her mother truly was, the school finally came into view. As much as Wednesday resented her parents for carting her off to this new prison, she couldn’t help but feel a little relieved to see the school. She stomped down on that feeling of relief immediately, because relief was an emotion and as such not something to be tolerated. But Wednesday had been stuck in the car, across from her parents, as they flirted and caressed each other, for six hours. Anyone would be ready to be done with this nauseating car ride.
“Lurch, park us just outside of the gates.” Gomez instructed the family butler, Lurch, who was chauffeuring the family. Lurch was maybe still alive or maybe a member of the undead; the Addams family weren’t telling either way. Wednesday’s brother Pugsley, sitting next to Lurch, was staring in awe at the massive academy. Wednesday internally admitted it was an impressive structure, though she would never admit as much to her parents, and would still be escaping at the first opportunity. An impressive structure didn’t count for much if it was filled with insipid idiots, and designed only to cage her dark genius.
Lurch began turning the car parallel with the gates to park there, but before he could do so, there was an incredible flash of white, and a deafening hiss of air, both of which came from everywhere, all at once. As the flash faded, it transitioned first into an eerie pale green glow, and then the color drained entirely from the world, leaving it washed out and grey. A hail of dead birds and frogs fell from the sky. Then the rain of small animals ended, and color returned to the world which had briefly been black and white. Lurch groaned in apparent exasperation, hitting the wipers to knock a few massacred frogs off the window.
“Ok.” Wednesday admitted angrily through gritted teeth “I will admit that Nevermore knows how to make new arrivals feel properly welcomed.” It physically pained Wednesday to admit even that much to her parents, but she had to give credit where it was due. For a moment, she had thought the apocalypse had begun. A girl could dream.
Wednesday’s mother clapped in delight, “C'est magnifique!” but then she frowned. “Though they never warped the fabric of reality to greet new arrivals when I attended school.”
Before she could continue that train of thought, Gomez wrecked that particular train by grabbing her hand. “Tish, when you speak French, it drives me wild!” He began kissing his way up her arm, begging her to speak again in French.
Wednesday snapped her fingers, twice even for emphasis. “Focus. If it wasn’t the school that warped the fabric of reality, then what happened?”
Wednesday’s parents stared at her and shrugged in unison. Lurch, unphased, parked the car at the gates.
“Well, we can ask my dear old friend, your new principal, while we’re getting you settled in.” Morticia declared, and the family climbed out of the limousine and made their way into Nevermore.
“Morticia, so good to see you again after all these years!”
“Oh, dear Larissa. How dreadful that us old friends have been apart for so long!”
Wednesday’s expression soured further. Emotional reunions were awful to behold. A nice, tragic parting would be far easier to stomach. This “Larissa” towered above Wednesday’s mother, and her father too, causing Wednesday to wonder if she had some giant blood in her ancestry. But even a full-blown giant wouldn’t have intimidated Wednesday, and she wasn’t going to let this woman keep her locked away here.
“I noticed you brought some interesting weather with you from New Jersey.” Principal Larissa Weems stated, looking a little concerned. Wednesday thought it was pathetic that she was so desperate to make small talk that she had resorted to discussing the weather.
“We thought maybe the school was putting on a display to greet us upon our arrival.” Morticia replied, not looking particularly concerned, but maybe a little confused.
“Whatever happened, it knocked the power right out. It hasn’t turned back on either, we’re actually running off of our backup generators right now. The phones are down too… perhaps I ought to run into town and make sure everything is in order.” Weems mused.
“Great, we’ll come with you!” Gomez offered. He was civic-minded like that, though his brand of help often created more chaos than anything else.
“Splendid. First, we shall get your daughter settled in.” Weems decided, turning to Wednesday. “So, Wednesday is certainly a unique name.”
Wednesday’s new principal resumed her effort to make pointless small talk, to which Wednesday responded by insulting her parents again for sending her here, and publicly vowing to escape the school. Weems proceeded to heap insult onto injury by promising to set her up with a therapist in the nearby town of Jericho, and by assigning Wednesday her mother’s old dorm room in Ophelia Hall, proving Weems was in on her mother’s sinister plot to turn Wednesday into a copy of Morticia.
Wednesday rubbed colorful spots out of her eyes as her first look into her new dorm room nearly blinded her. It was clearly a torture room, and not even the fun kind like the Play Room back at home. Even her cruel mother gave out a shocked gasp.
“Howdy, roomie!” greeted her new cellmate, a cheerful looking blonde girl; her hair had blue and pink highlights at the ends. Her room was all bright colors and fluffy stuffed animals. It was depraved. Clearly, Weems was making every possible effort to crush Wednesday’s black spirit. Wednesday was almost impressed, and in her mind she furiously vowed to return the favor.
“Are you feeling okay? You look a little pale.” Asked the girl. “Oh, was it the weather outside? That was super freaky, I almost passed out when I saw all those poor animals falling from the sky.”
“If we’re lucky, that was a sign of the apocalypse, and I am about to be put out of my misery.” Wednesday answered.
“Huh. Okay.” Said the girl. “Principal Weems, I’m going to lock the door to the balcony for a while. I don’t want anyone, erm, falling off.” She said, giving Wednesday a worried look.
“Locks are totally useless against me.” Wednesday assured her. “But regardless, that is not how I am planning to escape this school.”
“Wednesday, this is Enid Sinclair.” Weems introduced the two, giving Wednesday an exasperated look.
“Welcome to Ophelia Hall!” Enid moved in for a hug, and Wednesday recoiled in horror.
“Not a hugger, got it”. Enid backed off a little.
“Please excuse Wednesday. She's allergic to color.” Morticia explained.
“Oh, wow. What happens to you?” Enid asked.
Wednesday liked to award morbid curiosity when she encountered it (why else would you ask someone what happened to them in the event of an allergic reaction?) so she decided to exaggerate a little for Enid’s benefit.
“My throat swells up on the inside and tears apart at the seams, and I begin to choke to death on my own blood and viscera.”
Enid backed up and grabbed a bedpost, looking about ready to faint. Wednesday theorized that no one had ever indulged her morbid curiosity before, so she was unprepared for Wednesday’s answer. Maybe she hadn’t grown up with a loving, nurturing family like Wednesday had? Wednesday realized what she had just thought, and angrily reminded herself that her family had now betrayed her.
Still, perhaps in the brief period of time before Wednesday made her great escape, she could generously treat the girl to a few more graphic descriptions of bloodshed and death.
“Luckily, we've special ordered you a uniform.” Weems chuckled. The normal academy uniform was patterned in blue and black stripes, whereas Wednesday had been promised a black and dark grey striped uniform instead due to her strong aversion to color.
“Enid, please take Wednesday to the registrar's office so she can pick up her uniform along with her schedule, and give her a tour along the way.” Weems instructed.
“Happy to Principal Weems! One thing though, do you know when we can expect the electricity to come back on? I know we have the backup generators and all, but ever since it went out, I’ve also had no signal on my phone.” Enid held up her cellphone, a look of despair flashing in her blue eyes.
“I can’t say Enid, but I intend to look into the matter presently. Speaking of which, Morticia, Gomez, I do believe it is time for us to check in on Jericho after that unusual weather event.”
The Addams Family limo rolled through the dark streets of Jericho. Though it was daytime, a dark cloud covered the sky, and fog had rolled in to cover the landscape as well. Furthermore, much of the town had no power; what buildings and lights did have power must have also been running on backup generators.
Gomez smiled, enjoying the lovely weather. Larissa Weems had chosen to travel into town with the Addams Family, and was sitting across from Morticia as the former roommates used this opportunity to catch up. Larissa had insisted on going straight to the mayor, which made sense to Gomez, and Lurch was currently driving the family, minus Wednesday (and Thing, who had been secretly left with Wednesday to watch over her) straight to the mayor’s office at the town hall.
It was rather nostalgic being back in town again, even if Gomez’s feelings about Jericho were rather mixed. Generally, he preferred the school to the town, and even the school had some less than pleasant memories associated with it. But it was where he had met the love of his life, and so even his worst memories from back then had an incredible silver lining. Gomez smiled lovingly at his dear wife, and while she was still conversing with Larissa, she glanced over at him and squeezed his hand, that lovely Mona Lisa smile gracing her pale face.
“Here we are Lurch, the town hall!” Gomez exclaimed. Lurch gave an affirmative groan and found parking near the building. Gomez exited the limousine and opened the door for his wife, while Lurch opened Larissa’s door. Lurch and Larissa were of comparable height, and Gomez wondered idly if Larissa was seeing anyone, glancing speculatively between the two towering figures.
“Oh look darling, the sheriff is already here.” Morticia pointed out, seeing the sheriff’s car parked next to the town hall.
“The sheriff’s office is located in the town hall not far from the mayor's office. Hopefully Mayor Walker and Sheriff Galpin already have a handle on what’s happening.” Weems said.
“And how are they? What should we expect?” Gomez asked, referring to Mayor Walker, who had been sheriff before Galpin, and who was a familiar name to Gomez.
“I have a working relationship with the mayor, he knows how important Nevermore is to the town, and we understand each other. The new sheriff on the other hand isn’t a fan of Nevermore, and the recent bear attacks have put him on edge. Two women were killed just last week. I’m not convinced he believes it’s actually a bear that’s been killing people, but at least he hasn’t accused Nevermore students of anything yet.”
“Is it a bear that’s been attacking people?” Gomez’s son, Pugsley, asked curiously.
“I wouldn’t know, but I know it certainly isn’t one of my students.” Larissa replied firmly.
Just as the group began stepping away from the limousine and began heading to the entrance of the town hall, the damndest thing happened. The townsfolk started screaming in terror, running around in a panic. Gomez smiled in appreciation of the chaotic sight.
“Father, has the town come under attack?” asked Gomez’s precocious son.
“Hmm, difficult to say my boy.” Gomez replied, not yet sure what was alarming everyone so much.
Then a group of child-sized, thorny looking fellows that appeared to be made entirely of wood ran into the street, smashing up buildings, cars, and everything within reach. They were short, spiky, and didn’t appear to be at all human. One attacked a car driving down the road, which burst into flames as its engine was destroyed, and the driver bailed out and ran for his life. The creature shoved the still coasting car into a townhouse, which proceeded to catch fire itself.
“Now it’s less difficult to say. Yes, son, the town has indeed come under attack!”
“Oh dear, what do you think we should do Gomez?” Morticia asked, supporting a frightened Larissa who was wide-eyed in shock.
“That’s easy dear! An Addams never hides when danger is afoot! Instead, we run for the hills! Lurch, get the car running please.”
“But wait darling. If Jericho is destroyed, that means we’ll have to find Wednesday a new school.” Morticia pointed out.
Gomez paled. After only one day! He loved his little scorpion dearly, but the thought of how smug she would be... it was too much for even him to bear. Besides, it was a lot of work to keep finding new schools for her!
“I will save this town single-handedly!” Gomez declared. “Lurch, pop the trunk please.”
Lurch did so, and Gomez grabbed his rapier out of the trunk. Morticia grabbed her own as well and moved to join him, but Gomez held up his hand.
“I’m sorry dear, I know you’ll hate to miss out on the fun, but someone needs to watch Pugsley… and Larissa.” he said, glancing at the other woman, who wasn't holding up so well.
“Good luck dear.” Morticia kissed him on the cheek, and Gomez barely resisted the urge to kiss her then and there. His wife’s confidence and affection made him feel inspired, like he could take on an entire army for her sake.
“If you die” she continued “I will fall on my own sword, and our children will be orphans.” Addamses normally did not go on living long after the death of their true love.
“Not to worry my love, I’ve become accustomed to more dangerous plants than these in your garden! Lurch, with me!” Gomez declared, striding into battle for the first time in years.
Gomez raced out onto the street; for a man of his weight he moved with surprising speed. Rusty though he was, an Addams was always dangerous; when Gomez reached one of the wooden monsters, he made short work of it.
“En garde!” He shouted, taking the creature completely by surprise and slicing it in two. Gomez was a little disappointed it hadn’t put up more of a fight, but mostly relieved to learn that he still had it. And like he told his beloved, he dealt with more dangerous plants than these on a regular basis.
That said, he didn’t like the unfriendly looks the rest of the nearby twig demons were giving him, so he continued his swift progress across the street and hid behind a parked car. Despite what he had said earlier, Addamses did occasionally hide in the face of danger.
Fortunately, his loyal butler was close behind him. With a groan that could generously be called a battle cry, Lurch reached out with one massive hand, batting aside a bark fiend with contemptuous ease. It got up afterwards though, looking rather splintered but also as angry as a hunk of wood could make itself look. Which was actually pretty angry, because these things were covered in rather impressive thorns. Very nasty looking indeed.
“What the hell!” yelled someone up the street. Granted, many people were screaming, but this voice stood out from the crowd as it sounded more frustrated than scared. Gomez glanced over, and saw the Sheriff step out of the town hall. The sheriff was apparently on the clock and putting in work today as well, as Gomez saw him open fire at one of the creatures. The bullet missed its intended target, but Sheriff Galpin fired again, this time striking one of the walking log devils in its head, blowing the head to bits and dropping the creature.
The rest of the invaders realized they no longer had the run of the town, but rather than retreating, they then went on the attack. Needle-like thorns were flung out of one nearby creature and launched at Lurch, while another monster attacked Lurch with its spiky claws. Lurch looked annoyed as his suit was damaged, but these things didn’t seem to be able to hurt Lurch himself. The lad was nearly invincible, which was part of what made him such a great butler to the Addams family.
Another set of two creatures tried the same tactic against the sheriff, one attacking from range with its thorns while another tried to get in close. The sheriff may not have been as thick skinned as Lurch, but he was a little more agile, throwing himself over the hood of a parked car and avoiding the attacks unleashed against him.
“Enough hiding for the moment” Gomez psyched himself up. He charged out at the branch beast that had thrown spikes at Lurch, taking it by surprise and slicing into it with his rapier. He sadly didn’t manage to chop this one in two though. Expertly, he took advantage of its stunned state to run and hide again.
“Well, I said enough hiding for the moment, and I made a good account of myself. Now it’s time to hide again.” He muttered, darting back behind a car.
Gomez took stock of the situation. He saw Lurch stepping on one of their enemies, crushing it underfoot. The sheriff managed another headshot, felling another terrible tree.
Unfortunately, the sheriff’s other attacker was able to get in close and swiped at the sheriff, who tried to dodge aside but took a glancing blow, which was enough to cause him to stumble backwards bleeding from terrible cuts carved by its deadly claws. Furthermore, the one Gomez hadn’t quite managed to finish off threw more spiny needles at Lurch, albeit while backing away from the imposing butler. It perhaps moved too far away though, as most of the needles missed, while the remainder once again failed to bother Lurch.
Seeing what had happened to the sheriff, Gomez knew he needed to act fast. He dashed out even faster than before, pushing himself to his limits. He wasn’t exactly the young, fit man he used to be, and just as he reached the plant person that was menacing the sheriff, he felt himself pull a muscle.
But an Addams didn’t balk at a little pain. Gomez followed through on the attack, striking at the needly ne'er-do-well from behind and thrusting his rapier straight into its head. The creature collapsed, as did Gomez who tried to support himself on a parked car as he panted for breath. Sheriff Galpin was staring at him in wide-eyed shock, holding his bleeding cuts and also trying to catch his breath.
“Good afternoon!” Gomez greeted cheerfully. Before the gaping sheriff could say a word, two sheriff’s deputies stepped out of the mayor’s office, wide-eyed in surprise. They arrived just in time to see the last surviving thorny thug race past Lurch, who extended his arms to catch it but grasped only air. The creature bore down on Gomez and the sheriff, claws extended for a murderous assault, when a glass bottle containing some manner of liquid flew through the air, striking the monster directly, which then burst into flames.
“Good toss Pugsley!” Gomez praised. Pugsley beamed and gave him a thumbs up. Gomez was glad Pugsley still remembered how to make Molotov cocktails on the fly. He had gotten bored with them when he was about six, and now usually preferred to play with dynamite and hand grenades. But today showed that a boy was never too old for Molotov cocktails.
Apparently, Pugsley and Morticia had gotten bored watching the fight, and joined in the battle themselves, with his darling wife having dispatched a couple of the creatures herself. Gomez grinned maniacally, he loved her so much it felt like his heart would burst.
“Thank the abyss” Gomez sighed in relief. “I don’t have to find Wednesday a new school.”
One of the deputies helped Sheriff Galpin to his feet. “I’m fine, get every LEO we have and comb and the town, we need to restore order now!” the sheriff barked.
A firetruck screamed down the street to put out a nearby fire. But at least there were less people panicking in the streets, as most people had found a place to hide by now.
He turned to stare at Gomez, a conflicted look on his face. “Gomez Addams… first of all, thank you for stopping that thing.” The Sheriff glanced down at the still corpse of the wooden monster.
“Secondly, we need to talk about the murder of Garrett Gates. But that case has waited thirty years, I suppose it can wait a little longer.” The sheriff admitted begrudgingly. He nodded to Larissa. “We need to report to the mayor right now.”
“First the world went all wonky, the power went out, and now little wooden people are attacking the town. People are going to blame that on the outcasts and Nevermore.” The sheriff warned. “And I’m hard pressed myself to imagine who else might be responsible, if not the outcasts.” He finished accusingly, staring at Weems and the Addamses.
Gomez and Morticia, along with Weems and the sheriff, were in a meeting with Mayor Walker. No one else was present, if only because the whole town was in chaos, and the rest of the local law enforcement officers had their hands full. Pugsley was seated in a waiting room outside of the mayor’s office, guarded by Lurch.
“We came into town to make sure you were all ok. We know nothing more than you do about this situation. I’ve never even seen those sorts of creatures before.” Weems defended.
“Now’s not really the time to be pointing fingers. We can figure out who’s to blame for this mess later.” Mayor Walker spoke up. “Right now, I need to know what’s going on. Sheriff, your deputies should be reporting back to you soon, and I need to know what they’ve seen around town. If the town’s secure, we can start thinking about doing a sweep of the woods.”
He turned to Weems. “I know I’m not officially your boss Larissa, but at the moment, I’m everyone’s boss. I’m putting this town under martial law for the moment. And I’ll need you to get your staff together. See if any of them know anything about the monsters, the “weather” that knocked the power out, or if they have any clue at all as to what’s going on. Put your school on lockdown.”
“That’s fair enough under the circumstances, Noble.” Weems nodded, referring to the mayor by his first name.
“I don’t feel comfortable with him running around.” The sheriff gestured at Gomez. “He’s wanted by my office for the murder of Garrett Gates. Who, by the way, was killed with a sword.” He finished, pointing at the sword Gomez was openly carrying.
“You have to believe me, friend, I didn’t kill…” Gomez stopped himself. “I killed Garrett in self-defense. What do you think he was doing at Nevermore when he was killed? He was certainly no student there. He was stalking my Morticia, and he attacked us.”
“You weren’t the sheriff then, but I had reported to your office that that man was stalking me, and no action was taken. No one believed me.” Morticia weighed in, a sad expression on her face.
Despite himself, and his own long-held belief that Gomez was a murderer who needed to be brought to justice, the sheriff now looked conflicted. He wasn’t sure what to believe, but Gomez had just saved his life.
“We don’t have time for this.” The mayor said firmly. “Donovan, charges against Gomez were dropped a long time ago. I never told you this, because the case was closed as far as I was concerned, but an autopsy later determined that Garrett was killed by poison he had been carrying on his person, not the sword wound he had taken.”
The sheriff was startled, taken aback. “Case closed or no, why was I never informed of this!”
“My predecessor in the mayor’s office wanted to keep everything quiet, in order to avoid a scandal. A member of the Gates family dying under mysterious circumstances is one thing. But if a member of such a prominent local family died while trying to sneak poison into Nevermore during a school dance? He decided the details of the autopsy report were need-to-know.” the mayor shrugged.
“And you were alright with that?” Weems asked, giving the mayor a disappointed look. “As I recall, you yourself were the sheriff at the time.”
“I didn’t like it, but I respected the mayor’s decision.” He said, giving Galpin, his sheriff, a pointed look. Galpin scoffed openly.
“Besides, you and I both know how important it is to protect the reputation of both my town and your school.” Noble nodded at Weems, who looked conflicted.
“But now, we have to protect a lot more than just the town’s reputation, so let’s get to work people.” The mayor dismissed the group.
“Sounds good.” Galpin said bitterly. “But there’s one more thing that needs to be said, and if you won’t say it” he gestured at the mayor, “then I will.”
Galpin turned to Gomez. “I’m sorry about all of this.” he said simply.
Gomez smiled and nodded. “It’s alright. I don't hold grudges, only the occasional blood debt.”
That evening, Enid’s rollercoaster ride of a day went downhill again.
In summary, first, she had gotten a new roommate, which was wonderful. It was true that Wednesday was kind of spooky and maybe a little intimidating, and sure, it was kind of weird that Enid had never seen her blink, but Enid was sure they would be great friends eventually! Unfortunately, the joy of meeting a new friend was dampened by the fact that for most of the day, she had no cellphone service, no internet, nothing. She wanted to tell the whole school about her fascinating new roommate on her vlog, the number one source of Nevermore gossip. But that couldn’t happen yet. It was torture, and she had no idea how people lived before the invention of the internet.
Now, she had made it back to her room after classes, only to find that Wednesday had apparently messed up her room. Or at least, she had removed half of the color from the large, circular window that Enid had painstakingly decorated beautifully.
Evidently, Wednesday wasn’t kidding when she said a lock wouldn't stop her, as the girl had managed to pick the lock Enid had put on the window and was out on the balcony. But at least she wasn't jumping off the balcony to "put herself out of her misery" as Enid had feared.
Enid strode out onto the balcony angrily. “What the hell did you do to my room!”
“I divided our room evenly.” Wednesday replied distractedly, staring up at the night sky.
“Did you really have to…” Enid paused, following Wednesday’s gaze up into the sky, and what she saw disturbed her. The night sky was totally bizarre. The stars seemed to swirl through the sky, curling around each other in twisting formations that Enid had never seen among the stars. It was like looking at a whole galaxy in chaos and disarray.
Enid trailed off, staring up into the darkness in silence beside Wednesday. Enid was struck with fear, but her new roommate was another story. Insofar as Wednesday allowed herself to love anything, she loved the darkness, loved the silence, and loved mystery. Very slightly, Wednesday Addams smiled.