Work Text:
"Hey El, is this stuff yours? I found it in my closet." Will walked into El's room holding a box in his hands.
"What is it?" El asked, looking up from her magazine.
Will opened one of the flaps of the box. "It's a bunch of dresses and skirts and stuff. I don't think it's my mom's, she doesn't really wear dresses. And I have no idea how it got in my closet."
El got up off her bed and walked over to Will. She looked in the box and her eyes lit up. "Actually they're Nancy's."
"Why do we have a box of Nancy's clothes?"
"She gave them to me because I said that I liked her dresses and wished I had some," El answered.
"Oh okay, well here you go then," Will held the box out for her to take.
She took the box and set it down on her bed. Will turned to leave the room but El's voice called him back. "Will wait," he looked over his shoulder at her. "Help me look through them?"
"Sure." Will smiled. He loved getting chances to spend time with his El.
"Great!" El sat down on her bed next to the box and Will sat across from her.
The two had grown quite close over the year they'd lived together. Will considered Eleven to be his sister and hoped that she felt the same way. When they're with each other everything just feels so natural. Will had grown used to the weird looks people gave him for being different. The words his dad used to yell at him. The insults bullies used to throw at him. But when he was with El it felt like it didn't matter if he was different. Maybe it was because she was so different too. Not in the same ways as Will but she wasn't like everyone else and she didn't expect him to be either. They could be different together.
El pulled out a long dress and held it up. "Pretty," she murmured, appreciating the wrinkly blue fabric.
"Yeah, it's nice." Will reached into the box and pulled out a pink and green skirt. He couldn't remember ever seeing Nancy wear either of these. Maybe that's why she gave them to El.
"Do you want to try them on?" El asked.
"Try on the dresses?" Will asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes. Last year at the mall Max and I went to stores and we tried on all the clothes. She said it was called dress up."
Will knew exactly what day she was talking about, that was the day that she dumped Mike. "You want to play dress up with me?"
"Yes. You do not want to?" El asked.
"It's not that," he rushed to assure her. "I wasn’t expecting it. Usually boys play dress up." He thought back to the time when he was little when Will had been dancing around his room wearing a dress that he'd stolen from his mom. He remembered his dad coming home. Will pushed the memory away.
"Oh," El's face fell. "Why not?"
Will thought about it for a minute. He knew El wanted a real answer, that saying because that's the way it is wouldn't be enough, but he didn't have a good answer to give her. "It's just usually something that girls do."
"But boys do lots of things that girls do."
"Yeah there are just some things that girls do that boys aren't really allowed to do. Like play dress up and wear dresses and skirts and stuff."
"Why aren't boys allowed to? Dress up is fun and skirts are pretty."
Will sighed, truthfully he thought it was stupid that boys weren't allowed to do those things. Stupid that society got to tell him what he was allowed to do and what he wasn't. "Some people are really mean and if they see boys doing those things they call them names."
"Like the kind of names that Angela calls me at school?" El asked, nose scrunched in distaste.
"Yeah, kind of. People usually call boys gay if they do stuff girls do. Or meaner words that mean the same thing." Will hated that he had to be the one to explain this stuff to El. He wished no one would ever have to explain it to her, that she could live a life without having to know about prejudice.
"Gay,” El repeated like she was trying the word out. “I've heard some boys saying it at school. What does it mean?"
This is not where he thought he'd be when he came in here asking if the box was El's. "It's when a boy likes boys, or when a girl likes girls," Will explained.
"Like a crush?" El asked.
"Yeah, but specifically when a boy has a crush on another boy, or a girl has a crush on another girl."
"Oh, okay. Like if I had a crush on Max?"
"Yeah," Will smiled.
"Okay, I understand now. Thank you for always explaining things to me," El said sincerely.
"Any time El." This was a common occurrence. El coming to Will when she heard a word she didn't understand. She was always too embarrassed to ask Joyce so she usually reserved her questions for Will.
"Actually I think I am still confused. Why is it bad if someone calls you gay? Is it a bad thing?" El's forehead wrinkled in confusion.
The smile fell off Will's face. "A lot of people think that it is bad, yeah."
"Why would it be bad for a girl to have a crush on a girl? I don't understand. Girls are allowed to have crushes on boys and girls are much prettier."
Will agreed with El's reasoning, everyone should be allowed to like who they like and it shouldn't be a problem. "It's not bad. It's just not normal I guess. And people don't like anyone who's different."
"Well I think they are wrong," El said simply.
"Yeah me too," Will agreed with her. Here was his chance. He could tell her. He could say the words that had been eating away at him for years. He could say them to Eleven and she wouldn't care. She wouldn't think he was gross or wrong like everyone else would. He could finally tell someone and get it off his chest. She would keep his secret and help him carry it.
Elle was examining the dress again. She grabbed another one from the box and held it up just like she did the first one.
"Hey El?" His voice came out quieter than he intended. She set the dress down looking over at him. The words were right there on the tip of his tongue, dying to be heard by anyone but himself. "I'm…" He couldn't get them out. Couldn't say it out loud. He took a deep breath and tried again. "'m gay," he finally choked out.
"Okay," she said.
"Okay," he parrotted back to her.
He could feel his eyes welling up with tears. Could feel his nose sting the way it did right before he started crying. With anyone else he would feel embarrassed. He would hold back his tears and fake a smile. He didn't bother with El, she could always see right through him. He didn't have to hide with her, he couldn’t hide from her. Despite only knowing each other for a short period of time they already knew each other better than anyone else. Anyone but Mike maybe.
El looked at him for a moment, choosing her words carefully. "I do not think you are bad." It was a simple statement of reassurance, but it was exactly what Will had needed to hear for years. What he thought no one would ever tell him.
I don't think you're bad.
How many times and he heard the opposite?
El pushed the box out of the way and wrapped her arms around Will. He sobbed into her shoulder. Hot tears ran down his face as his emotions boiled over. For years he had kept this a secret. Not well- everyone seemed to know already, even before he did- but he never mentioned it. Never breathed a word about what he deemed to be his shameful secret.
He cried into her shoulder for what felt like hours. El rubbed circles on his back to comfort him. He finally pulled away, wiping his tears with his sleeve.
"I've never told anyone before," he whispered.
"Now you've told me." She smiled warmly at him. "Will, I am glad you are my brother."
He smiled back at her. "Me too. I'm really glad you're my sister."
"I don't think anyone else should tell you what you can and can't do." Those were the wisest words he'd ever heard and he couldn't agree more. He was so happy to have El in his life.
"I don't think so either. We should be able to do what makes us happy," he said. He looked over his shoulder at the box that they had pushed away. "Do you still want to play dress up?"
"Yes!" El was bouncing up and down with excitement. She stood up and slid the box closer to her. She reached in and pulled out a yellow and blue flower dress. "You should try this one," she said, handing it to him.
"Okay sure, you should try the blue one then."
They got changed into the dresses and looked in the mirror at them. They looked ridiculous, the dresses were too frilly and Will's didn't zip up in the back. El burst out laughing and Will couldn't help but laugh too.
They decided they needed music and they went to Will's room to find something to listen to. El was digging through his records and he was looking through his cassettes. El pulled out an album and held it up to Will.
"He's wearing a dress," she said looking at the cover. She was holding out The Man Who Sold the World.
Will smiled brightly. "He is."
They put on the album and cranked the volume. Will let El drag him back to her room and they changed into another set of dresses, looking even more ridiculous than the last. Will's had a huge bow in the front and El's had huge poofy sleeves. They danced around her room smiling and laughing.
Neither one of them heard the front door open or the footsteps down the hall. They only realized Joyce was home when she poked her head in the door to check on them.
For a second Will's heart froze, but then Joyce just smiled at them and continued walking down the hall.
Will was reminded of the last time he danced around wearing a dress. How badly it had gone when his father got home. He pushed the memory away once again.
This time was different.
His mom wasn't upset at all when she saw them and he wasn't alone anymore. Whatever he had to face he knew El would be by his side.