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Mayoi anxiously fanned himself. Normally he wouldn't even dare going to a place like that, it was much too lively and full of people for his weak heart, but that wasn't just any ball. That was a masquerade ball, something that only happened once a year. It was a big event all the nobles went to, and also the perfect opportunity for him to wear something he'd dreamed of for a very long time.
A man dressing as a woman was not accepted, not then, not in the past, and he could hardly imagine it being considered "normal" in the future. But as long as it was a masquerade and one was supposed to wear a costume, it would be fine, wouldn't it?
He had put a lot of thought into what he was wearing that day. On his hands were black lace gloves that held a beautiful purple fan, and his dress was a flowing gown of a deep violet, with black embroideries of roses going up from the bodice to his chest. He didn't have to do much about his hair, since it was naturally long. He just let it out of his usual braid.
He took deep breaths as he approached the large, golden doors of the mansion the ball took place in.
He was wearing a mask, no one could recognize him, it was fine. He tried reassuring himself in any way possible, but failed miserably.
He was about to turn around and leave when someone bumped into him, making him step on the fabric of his dress and fall back. Only the stranger's reflexes, who put a hand behind Mayoi's back and the other around his waist to hold him up, saved him from an embarassing fall.
From that distance, Mayoi could get a good look at the mysterious individual. He was wearing an elegant, deep blue coat embroidered with golden patterns and a black waistcoat. On his head was a bicorne hat, decorated with two blue feathers. His hair was short and teal, and it framed his face in a way that made him look even more charming, on his left cheek were also two beauty marks, but the man seemed to have tried hiding them under his mask. Mayoi wished he could take it off to take a look at what seemed to be the most gorgeous man he'd ever seen.
They stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds, before the stranger helped Mayoi stand up. He bowed deeply in apology, but on his face was an amused expression. "Excuse my clumsiness." He said, his voice felt like a warm hug to Mayoi. He wanted to say something back, but he couldn't speak or else that would give him away, so he just bowed back a bit.
The stranger smiled at him. He seemed so gentle, Mayoi wished they could share at least a couple more words before parting. He wished he at least got a name. But the man was already walking away, and Mayoi just watched as he disappeared behind the golden doors and into the loud noises of the ballroom.
That's it, that was his cue to finally gather enough courage and go. Maybe, that charming man would be waiting for him inside, he thought, half joking.
---
The ballroom was beautifully decorated with extravagant flowers and tables full of delicious food.
All the guests were talking to each other about frivolous things like the latest scoops of the upper class, or exchanging secret looks left and right. Many were gambling at the tables, while some of the women feigned modesty as they were courted by the boldest men.
Unlike the others, Mayoi preferred staying in the shadows and observing the situation. He loved watching people in their activities and wishing that, if only for a moment, he could experience that airiness.
But that wasn't for him, all of that was too much for him to endure. He was a coward, and only by hiding his identity and standing on the sidelines could he be himself.
He was lost in thought when a familiar hand touched his shoulder. He flinched and turned around. There he was, the stranger from before, holding out his hand toward Mayoi with that same sweet smile as before on his face.
Mayoi was confused. He didn't understand what he wanted to do and...
Oh.
The music started almost immediately before Mayoi tried doing his best impression of a girl voice to talk to the man.
He wanted to dance... with him?
Mayoi covered half of his face with the fan. He tried looking cool and mysterious but, deep down, he was screaming inside in anxiety. There was no way he could do that! And what if the man found out about his true identity? He was supposed to just be an observer for the day, not take part in this whole thing!
But from what Mayoi could see, the stranger's eyes were so gentle, and his smile was like pure light. He was like a magnet attracting him with undeniable force, and Mayoi couldn't resist. He took his hand in his, shaky under the lace of his gloves.
The man seemed overjoyed, and began softly guiding Mayoi to the middle of the ballroom, where a bunch of couples had already gathered to dance.
They looked into each other's eyes once again. Mayoi couldn't hide the blush that began spreading on his face. Why was he so embarrassed? Anxiety was one thing, but the butterflies he felt in his stomach were another.
"You must really despise small talk." The man said playfully, and Mayoi felt himself drown in embarassment. He did want to talk, he found himself wanting to more than he ever had in his lonely life, but there was no way that could happen. He was too scared.
The music stopped right when they'd started dancing, and both couldn't stifle a little chuckle at such unluckiness. Mayoi's eyes were fixated on how the man's corners of his mouth curled up. His lineaments were so soft and pretty. He was beautiful.
The music started soon again, sounding even sweeter than before. The man clasped his hand in Mayoi's, resting his free hand on his hip. Mayoi's arm was wrapped around his shoulder as they started twirling around the ballroom.
That's when he stopped thinking about anything and just let the music take control of his body.
Their steps were like a conversation, the man slid his left foot forward and Mayoi chased it with his right one and viceversa, both with the skill of someone who had practiced time and time again.
It was as if their bodies had become one, Mayoi could feel their breaths mixing together and their moves synchronizing perfectly.
They were silent, looking into each other's eyes, wishing they could take off their respective masks.
The man leaned in, until his breath ghosted against the curve of Mayoi's ear, sending a chill down his spine.
The music was almost over and Mayoi knew that would be the end of their little game.
"Pardon me, Milady."
Mayoi felt a hand snake around the base of his back and the man's hand on his tightened. Mayoi looked at the other, confused, until he felt himself getting pushed back. And just as the music stopped playing, he dipped him.
It lasted for just a second, but it felt like all eyes were on them. The man had waited for them to be right at the center of the ballroom to do it, and Mayoi's face felt hot and red with embarrassment. The man soon pulled him back to a standing position and bowed a bit, and Mayoi could only timidly return it.
The crowd broke out into applause after the dance and the cheerful conversations started again all around the two of them.
"I couldn't help myself, I hope you didn't mind." The man said, covering his mouth with a hand to let out a little laugh. Mayoi just pouted at him and backed a bit, about to turn around and leave the man's life forever. It was fun while it lasted, but Mayoi knew there was no way anything could happen between the two of them, so he'd rather stop it now than later. However, as the other realized he was leaving, he grabbed Mayoi's arm. His grip didn't hurt, but Mayoi could tell he really didn't want to let go.
"Follow me." The man said, just a whisper, but still so clear to Mayoi, whose focus was completely on him. His voice was as sweet as his gestures and face, and Mayoi felt like he couldn't do anything but oblige to the other man's wish. He thought about it for just a second, then he finally nodded and let the other drag him along to the back entrance of the mansion, where the garden was.
It was dark, the only source of light was the mansion behind them, which hit their backs. The man turned to face Mayoi, and grabbed his hand to kiss it gently. Mayoi watched his every move attentively. They were completely alone, anything could have happened and nobody would ever know. This moment belonged to them and them only, their special little secret.
Then, the man's hand moved to Mayoi's chin, tilting it up a bit. He leaned in, obviously looking for Mayoi's own lips, but before he could touch them with his, Mayoi put the fan in the way, so the man kissed it instead. He looked at him with a confused, yet amused expression, and Mayoi's gaze moved all around in search for the courage to speak.
"At least tell me your name." He managed to get out, in the sweetest, girliest voice he could do. He couldn't tell if he succeeded in it, but that didn't matter anymore, because the man leaned in again. He wasn't looking for his lips anymore, he just grazed Mayoi's ear with his mouth and whispered.
"Tatsumi."
Mayoi repeated his name in his head a bunch of times, loving the way it sounded. After that, he just nodded and removed the fan, and Tatsumi knew that was his cue to finally kiss that beautiful, graceful woman in front of him.
Mayoi stopped thinking. He didn't care about his real identity anymore. He was a simple noble woman indulging in a midnight affair, nothing more. At least for one night, he'd get to experience what he'd always wanted.
The kiss was perfect, and it made Mayoi's heart beat as fast as it possibly could. It was a chaste, brief touch, and still it was enough to set both of their souls on fire with passion. Tatsumi was holding his hands in his; they were warm, they made him feel protected.
They parted soon after, but Tatsumi brushed his lips against Mayoi's one more time before taking a step back, looking pleased with himself. "I've never met a woman like you." his tone carried all the passion they had shared previously, but Mayoi felt a tinge of guilt at the use of the word "woman". That wasn't him, that wasn't what he was, and it wasn't right to fool that kind man anymore.
"I..." Mayoi began. He had no idea how to go about it, and he spent seconds looking for the right words, until he understood that the only way was to say things as they were. "I'm not a woman." he didn't hide his true voice this time, and he saw Tatsumi's eyes glisten for a split second, before he directed his gaze to the ground.
His face heated up immediately after saying that, and his first instict was to run away in shame. He should have told him before that kiss! What if he started yelling at him? Mayoi's heart wouldn't be able to take it. What if, instead, he exposed him to the rest of the nobles? His reputation would be over, he could even be executed! He kept looking down, feeling his legs almost give out at the unbereable silence and the tension of the situation.
"I was wondering when you would tell me." Mayoi immediately looked back at him, almost not believing his words. He knew everything? But how? "Your try at imitating a woman's voice was quite... unconvincing." the corners of Tatsumi's mouth curled up in amusement, and Mayoi's eyes widened in surprise. He was so surprised he didn't even have time to feel embarassed.
"Y-You knew?!" Mayoi closed the fan in his hand and waved it in the air toward Tatsumi. "And... and you still kissed me...?" his voice got quieter as he went on, until it became just a whisper. Tatsumi moved one hand to his cheek and rubbed it with his thumb delicately.
"Yes, I kissed you." he said, loud and clear so that Mayoi wouldn't let any doubts take control of him. "And I loved every second of it."
Mayoi was speechless, and the butterflies in his stomach were so strong that he almost couldn't breathe. He never expected it to be possible, but there he was, he'd given his first kiss to a charming man he'd just met.
"Then, could you do it again?" Mayoi's lips moved on their own, he felt like he had no control over that request, and still he didn't have a single afterthought.
"I would be more than glad to." Tatsumi leaned in once again, the hand he had put on Mayoi's hip was a promise of a more passionate kiss to come. And Mayoi knew. He knew and he loved it.
Their eyes were closed and their mouths were about to touch, when they heard voices growing closer by the second. They looked in the direction of the back entrance, and saw a group of nobles walking toward the garden, loudly laughing and clapping their hands in rhythm with the music.
In that moment they both knew that they had to run. There was no time for another kiss, not even for goodbyes, but Mayoi still risked lingering for a second more, pulling Tatsumi close to him. "Please, let me see you." he begged, moving his hand to touch the other's mask.
"My apologies, Milady." Tatsumi just said, a hint of sadness in his voice, as he pushed Mayoi away with a gentle, yet swift motion. Mayoi watched him disappear behind the bushes, and stopped in his tracks for a second. There was no reason to run away, he was alone now. But he didn't want to have anything to do with those nobles, so he ran in the opposite direction. He kept running and running, his heartbeat loud in his ears, until he couldn't see the lights anymore.
He was back at the entrance, but there was no sign of Tatsumi anywhere. Mayoi stood in silence, the cold air making him shiver. He knew he'd never forget that night and Tatsumi, at least not in a million years.
---
The next day was sunny and warm, and there was no trace of a cloud in the sky. Mayoi had been having trouble getting out of bed, too busy daydreaming about the man he'd met the day before.
But when one of his servants brought him the daily newspaper, he jumped out in shock.
He had expected to see articles about the masquerade, yes, but he never thought he'd see a portrait of Tatsumi on the first page, sat right next to the queen, under a title in bold, capital letters: "Soon to be heir misses out on the annual masquerade ball".
Mayoi knew he wasn't mistaken, those two beauty marks on Tatsumi's cheek proved his theory. The man he had kissed the previous day was none other than the next heir.
He gripped the paper, still not believing his eyes. He had kissed a member of the royal family! He could quite literally destroy his whole life if he wanted to! But Tatsumi wouldn't do that, would he? He seemed like a gentle, mild mannered man... To think a royal had any interest in him still seemed impossible.
Mayoi felt so stupid, Tatsumi hadn't even given him a fake name! And still he couldn't connect the dots until the evidence was put right under his nose.
He threw the newspaper on the floor and let himself fall back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. He sighed, thinking back at the kiss one last time. It seemed like a distant dream now, and the chances of ever meeting Tatsumi again were now less than zero.
But still, Mayoi knew he had to see him again. Even if not to have another romantic encounter, he needed to know why a Royal would risk his position by going after a nobody like him.
And he’d do whatever it took.