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Chapter Text

Wooyoung looked at San's face, covered in blood, unconscious beside him. 

How had they gotten to that point? How was it possible that Wooyoung, in all of his long life, had vowed to protect only one person and had failed to do so? He could not wrap his mind around it. 

How was it possible that even the pure heart of the one person who had restored his faith in humanity was now as tainted as his own?

He laid a hand on San’s hair, gently stroking the raven locks. He did not know whether to hope he would wake up soon or not. He did not know how to explain him what he had done to him. 

If he thought back to how it all started, he felt like crying. The others were right. He should have left him alone from the beginning, he should have not gotten involved, he should have ignored him as he did with everyone else.

Now San's life was ruined, and it was all his fault.

SIX YEARS BEFORE THE MOMENT THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING

Wooyoung entered the school where he would spend the next month, inhaling deeply that intoxicating scent of fresh, young blood.

After years of hiding in the dark, talking exclusively to Hongjoong and Yeosang, Wooyoung had decided to pretend to be a new student and attend one year of school. It was the best solution he had found to fight boredom. 

Being physically 20 years old, he could not pass himself off as younger than an 18-year-old, so he had given up to the idea of spending more than one year there, but it was still better than nothing. 

Hongjoong had heavily criticized him for his choice, saying repeatedly it made no sense to put himself in the position to risk getting caught if it was not strictly necessary. A school was a place full of temptations. However, Wooyoung had well mastered the art of self-control, so he felt confident enough to try his fate. He had decided that he would not feed on any student in order to prevent strange rumors from spreading, so all in all he felt the risk was rather limited.

Yeosang, on the other hand, had teased him nonstop. "Are you so bored that you are going back to school after two hundred years?" 

Yes, he was that bored.

He walked along the hallways, feeling like a wolf in disguise among his preys — which, he kinda was, come to think of it. 

He looked at his own class schedule. Frankly, classes were the thing he looked forward to the most. He was curious about what was being taught in school these days compared to when he had first attended. So many years had passed — something had to have changed. He had literature for the first class. Well, at least the day would have been interesting from the very beginning.

He passed in front of what should have been an empty classroom and, thanks to his overdeveloped hearing, heard that someone inside was crying. Or rather he was trying hard not to, but the small, sporadic choked sobs he could not hold back had betrayed him. Wooyoung opened the door, intrigued.

He saw a petite little boy standing motionless in front of a glass terrarium. The little boy, hearing the door open, turned around to look at him. His eyes were glazed over and his red nose was running. 

“Hey there… Is something wrong? Who are you?" asked Wooyoung. He was always fascinated when he did not understand humans.

The young boy blushed, "I'm a freshman. I — couldn’t wait for the first day, but then they told me that in two weeks we're going to vivisect these frogs," the little boy moved from the terrarium, allowing Wooyoung to see the two unfortunate frogs. "The thing is — that’s not fair. They are imprisoned here, poor things, and they don't know that soon they will die. It's too cruel, I don't want them to die because of us," the little boy concluded, pulling up with his nose.

Wooyoung felt like laughing. That little boy was whining over two frogs with a murderer. How ironic. Right before coming to school, just to be safe and keep his hunger at bay, he had surprised a homeless man and had drained him completely. The stench he gave off had almost saved him, but Wooyoung was too hungry. He, too, "poor thing," was minding his own business and did not know he would have been attacked. Yet it had happened. Life was just like that.

He would have liked to laugh, but when he saw the pure and hurt look in that little boy's perfectly serious eyes, he couldn't. 

"How old are you?"

"Fourteen."

So young. 

"If it makes you feel bad that these frogs are dying, why don't you save them?"

The little boy looked at him with big eyes. Hopeful. 

"It's so easy," Wooyoung continued. "Just like this," he said as he approached the terrarium and the boy. He grabbed the glass terrarium, placing it on the window sill, opened the window, opened the terrarium — technically he would have needed a key, but he tried not to let the little boy notice he had forced it open — and finally the frogs jumped out the window. 

He turned back to the little boy, who was looking at him with a smile so bright it didn't even seem real. If Wooyoung's heart could have beaten, it would probably have melted at that sight. 

"It will be our little secret," Wooyoung concluded, winking at him. With that said, he walked out of the classroom, leaving the stunned and happy little boy there, to go to his literature class. 

As much as literature interested him, during class, Wooyoung kept thinking about that boy. He was 14 years old, he had said. Young, but not a child. Yet he had had the same innocence and naiveté of a child just before, when he had cried over those frogs. On his way to the cafeteria, he looked at the other brats who were presumably freshmen. 

Young girls dressed like whores, budding drug addicts, the classic pathetic little bullies, those who thought they were ladies' man but still had acne — that kid was in a whole other category. Wooyoung knew he was just an insignificant human, but... somehow he seemed a little bit special to him. 

He filled his tray with the bare minimum to be inconspicuous and sat down at an empty table. Soon after, he heard footsteps too close. A person sat at his table. He looked up to intimidate them to leave, when he saw that it was indeed that kid. He was currently smiling at him.

"Little boy. What are you doing?"

"I'm sitting down for lunch," he replied with a bright smile. "Can I eat here with you? How old are you? Are you a senior? You look too old to still be in school."

Wooyoung felt dizzy from all that questions. He was not used to making conversation. He almost laughed — in fact, he was definitely too old to still be in school.

"I'm eighteen years old. I'm a senior. Why don't you go eat with those your age? Didn't you just say I look too old?"

"Because I don't like the other kids in my class. And honestly, they don't seem to like me much either. They made fun of me earlier when they noticed I had cried. And it’s just the first day. I was going to eat alone, but I saw that you were alone too, and I thought—”

"What did you think? That it was a good idea to bother one of your seniors?"

The little boy looked at him with a hurt look that made Wooyoung strangely feel like a horrible person. How could someone have such transparent eyes?

"Well, actually... I..."

"It's okay with me if you eat here," Wooyoung interrupted him. "What's your name?"

"San! Yours?"

"Wooyoung."

The little boy — actually, San — gave him the brightest smile Wooyoung had ever seen in his life. Which is saying something, since he was 220 years old.

That was the moment that marked the beginning of the end.

That because the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that, Wooyoung always found San sticking to him every free moment from class. The problem, however, was not this. The problem was that Wooyoung liked having that kid following him around all day. 

In every conversation they had had, San had reconfirmed his kindness and gentleness, never once betraying himself. Wooyoung had hoped to find a loophole, to discover that San was actually as rotten as everyone else, but he just couldn't do it. His childlike innocence mixed with a maturity that did not belong to his age continued to bewilder Wooyoung. 

Before he noticed, Wooyoung had found himself feeling affection for that little boy, something he had not felt in at least a century. He wanted to protect him, wanted to protect his innocence. 

Was that so wrong? Evidently it was.

"Where have you been?" asked Hongjoong as soon as Wooyoung re-entered their dark lair.

"I accompanied San home before coming back here."

"I can't believe my ears. Are you having fun playing father?" interjected Yeosang with an amused smile.

"I'm not playing father."

"What then? Big brother?"

Wooyoung did not answer. He knew the other two could not understand what it meant to want to protect a human being.

In addition, San at the time actually needed some help. He had been targeted by some boys at school. Wooyoung, seeing him crying every day in the bathroom, had found himself thinking that it was less cruel to rip out a person's throat and quickly drink their blood than to do emotional and physical violence to them every day. Humans were disgusting. Almost all of them. 

Wooyoung would have liked to feed on that group of idiots and get rid of them once and for all, but he had promised himself not to kill any student. That would have been too suspicious. So he could only stay with San so as not to give those assholes a chance to harm him.

He was thinking just about this, walking out of the school he would have attended to for several more months until graduation, when he felt a sudden weight on his back. 

Even without smelling the intoxicating scent of his blood, he would have known it was San. No one else dared to get so close to him.

"Hey, little one," he said with a smile.

"I'm not little, I'm almost as tall as you are."

"You're still a brat," Wooyoung said with a smirk.

"Are you busy this afternoon? Would you like to come with me to the beach?"

In fact, Wooyoung could not stand direct sunlight very much. It hurt his eyes tremendously. In addition, he needed to feed himself and had thought of doing that in the afternoon.

Seeing him hesitate, San hastened to propose something else. "I thought it would have been nice to spend some time outdoors, but if you don't feel like it, it doesn't matter. We can go to the library, or to the café, or to see a movie, or wherever..."

"You should get some fresh air, actually, San. You should go play at the beach with some boys your age, do the typical things that 14-year-olds do."

"But I like talking to you more."

How could Wooyoung say no to him?

“...A movie you were saying?"

San finally resumed smiling, walking briskly toward home. Wooyoung sighed. That little boy had him on a leash. Those were Hongjoong’s words. Maybe it was true.

Chapter Text

There were several turning points for Wooyoung in his relationship with San. The first had been the moment when he had agreed to be his friend. Indeed his best friend, to put it San's way. His only friend, to put it realistically. 

The second turning point, was the day Wooyoung decided that he would have never killed any human again. He had never thought such a thing in more than two hundred years.

The fact was that San believed in him and had often told him how good and kind he was, not knowing that he was just the opposite. He was a heartless murderer. He had no problem destroying lives and families when San cried over the frogs for the science experiment. If he had decided to indulge San's company, he began to think that perhaps he should have deserved it. He could not take advantage of his naiveté like that. 

He also began to think that if there was someone like San in the world, perhaps there were other people like him. Maybe he had already killed someone like him in his life, some rare candid soul, without knowing it. Since he and San had become inseparable, Wooyoung had also gotten to know his parents. Knowing that there were such innocent people in the world… How could he keep on snatching from parents their children, if there was the possibility they were a bit like San? 

At first it had been very difficult. Hongjoong had explained to him that he could try, that he respected him for it, but that he would have had to erase the memory of his victims if they survived. It was called mind manipulation. Hongjoong had used it a few times and was willing to teach him.

The thing was, frankly, very complex. It was a job of precision and control, a very difficult technique to master. Extracting and manipulating a single memory was the most difficult thing. The risk of eliminating many memories or even driving the subject crazy was very high. But he wanted to try. 

The first time he drove a person crazy, he was very shaken. At last, he decided to end them. It was less cruel to kill them than let them live like this. 

As he helped San with his math homework, all he could think about was that first disastrous attempt.

"Wooyoung, are you okay?"

"Yes."

“You know… you don't have to pretend to be fine if you're not."

Wooyoung wondered if being as transparent as San was contagious, because usually no one understood what was going through his mind.

He lowered his forehead to San's shoulder, allowing himself to breathe in his honey-sweet scent, the scent of a blood he would have never drank.

San said nothing, just put a hand on his back.

"Aren't you going to ask me what's wrong with me? You always harass me with questions."

"No, I don't want to know it if you don't want to tell me."

"...What would you do if you wanted to do a good thing, but in the attempt a worse disaster happened than if you hadn't tried?" asked Wooyoung out of the blue.

San was silent for a moment. Wooyoung knew he had asked an inexperienced young boy for an answer to his problems, but for some reason he felt he was the only one who could give him the answer.

"Um, I'd try again until I succeed, if it's worth it."

Wooyoung smiled. It was definitely worth a few more tries for him.

That year passed like a breath. Wooyoung had never had so much to do in his life. Between the hours spent at school, the hours spent with San, training with Hongjoong and Yeosang, and feeding himself, he didn't have a single moment for himself. Not that it was a problem; that had been the whole point of finding himself a distraction.

He felt ridiculous in his graduation cap, but he found the whole thing rather amusing. He saw San looking at him, his eyes filled with tears. He laughed. 

"Why are you whining now, you crybaby?"

"Because I'm going to miss you! It's not fair for you to be so old! I wish you were a freshman like me — you won't forget me, will you?”

"Forget you?"

"I mean, when you go to college and all that."

"I'm not going to college."

"Then what are you going to do?"

Someone will have to look after you, he thought. "I'll start working with my brothers at the family business."

"So you're not leaving after summer?"

Wooyoung couldn’t have left him even if he had wanted to. Wooyoung wanted to make sure he grew up well, kept his pure heart, and built a family worthy of him.

"Nope, you’ll still have to put up with me, I'm afraid."

San smiled at him in that indescribable way, throwing his arms around his neck. Wooyoung squeezed him — softly, as tight as he could without breaking his ribs — when he hear familiar steps.

Feeling his body stiffen, San pulled away from the embrace, confused.

"Wooyoung! Congratulations, little brother!"

The two turned, to see Hongjoong and Yeosang approaching them. Wooyoung would not have wanted them to meet San and he put an arm around his shoulders protectively. However, the two pointed right at the young boy.

"Hi, you must be San, right? I'm Hongjoong and this is Yeosang. We are Wooyoung's older brothers."

San peered at them with obvious curiosity and a hint of uncertainty. It was normal for vampires to make humans feel uneasy, especially if they were outnumbered.

"Nice to meet you," he said after a moment, extending his hand.

Before they could grasp it, Wooyoung took his wrist, lowering it. 

"I didn't know you were coming," he said. 

"How could we miss our little brother's graduation? It's a once-in-a-lifetime event," Yeosang had said, raising his perfect eyebrows, blatantly teasing him.

Sensing the tense air between the three, San freed himself from Wooyoung's arm. 

"Woo, I'll leave you guys alone. I'm going to my parents. Will I see you tomorrow afternoon?"

"Sure, see you tomorrow."

"It was nice to meet you," San said politely before leaving.

When he had gone far enough, Wooyoung growled, "What do you think you're doing, showing up here?"

"We were curious to see this special human," Hongjoong said. 

"He smells incredible. I bet his blood is delicious. Have you already tasted it?" asked Yeosang.

"No, and neither me and especially you are going to taste it.”

FIVE YEARS BEFORE THE MOMENT THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING

"Wooyoung, you can stop picking me up from school. Taekwondo training is starting to pay off," said San pleased with himself, opening the front door and inviting Wooyoung to follow him inside his house. "I think I can manage those guys on my own."

Wooyoung laughed, ruffling his hair, which he had dyed blond. It was fascinating to watch a person grow. He had never paid attention to it, he had never been around a human for so long, but he was growing by the minute. 

"I don't know, I think it’s better if I keep picking you up."

"Try me, then." 

Wooyoung raised an eyebrow. San looked at him with an excited and amused expression. Wooyoung started to shake his head, but San tried to kick him.

He had to admit that he was quite fast, for a human, but Wooyoung was much faster and stronger. He grabbed his leg smoothly, letting go soon after. San frowned, trying to hit him with his arm. Wooyoung quickly grabbed it, turning it behind his back, pushing him against the wall.

He lowered his face to his warm, throbbing neck. That scent he now knew better than his own smell kept making his head spin. Then he realized what he was doing. He quickly let him go.

San turned away, clutching his wrist with a grimace of pain. Wooyoung felt mortified. His canines had almost come out just then.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

San shook his head. "I've learned my lesson. I'm still weak..."

Wooyoung wanted to tell him that he wasn't, that he was actually really good, he had just picked the wrong opponent. He wanted to tell him that he was the weak one, but he held back. It was better that San did not overestimate himself. Wooyoung did not want him to put himself in unnecessary danger.

"Indeed. So don't make a fuss and let me come and get you."

By now they had known each other for more than a year. Wooyoung spent more time with him and his family than at home. Hongjoong and Yeosang still did not understand, but at least they were no longer trying to get in his way. Wooyoung frankly didn't blame them; he didn't understand himself either.

He didn't get why he felt so attached to a small human. He did not understand why the thought of being away from him caused his heart, which had been made of stone for so many years, to clench. He did not understand why the thought of something bad happening to him was unbearable.

He also could not understand how he had managed, up to that point, to never to bite him. San was a walking temptation, always right under his nose. But he had never done anything to him. Not even when they were sleeping in San's bed and he was so helpless and warm. Not even when he was starving. 

By now he was capable of not killing humans. He had learned the right moment to stop, how to manipulate their very last memories. He had also taught Hongjoong and Yeosang how to stop while they were caught up in the frenzy caused by thirst. It was much better this way, they filled their stomachs without attracting too much attention. No corps left.

However, one day, Yeosang had made him a proposal that had made his skin crawl. 

"Wooyoung, why don't you feed on your human? You wouldn't kill him and you could make him forget everything."

"What are you saying? Are you crazy?"

"You could feed on him as often as you want, you wouldn't have to go hunting anymore. Maybe he would even let you do it voluntarily. Maybe all three of us should find a human. What do you think, Hongjoong?"

Wooyoung had jumped at his throat; Hongjoong had had to intervene to separate them. How could he have insinuated that Wooyoung could take advantage of a little boy who had given him his heart blindly, manipulating him to feed on him!

But then he answered himself. How could he not have thought such a thing? They were born to eat humans. It was the food chain, that's all. But Wooyoung could no longer accept this.

Chapter Text

FOUR YEARS BEFORE THE MOMENT THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING

Wooyoung watched San blow out the candles on his 16th birthday, his eyes closed, focused on his wish. 

By now he was a teenager through and through, no longer a little boy. Fortunately, though, he had kept the characteristics that made him so dear to Wooyoung.

They were celebrating alone in San's room, illuminated by the soft and warm light of his lamp.

"So, are you ready for your present?"

San looked at him with eyes that sparkled. He may have been a teenager, but he still had the enthusiasm of a kid. 

Wooyoung pulled a black lacquered box out of his pocket. San took it gently, as if afraid that the content was fragile. He opened it and his eyes doubled their size.

"Wooyoung...you...you didn't have to spend so much money on me!"

Wooyoung had gifted him a simple, black bracelet with a single ruby in the center. It was a family heirloom that he had kept covered in dust in a drawer for two hundred years. It reminded Wooyoung a little of himself. It pleased him that San was wearing it.

"I didn't spend any money on it. It's an item I've been keeping for... a while."

San held out his wrist for him to fasten it. Wooyoung placed the blood-red gemstone on his pulsating veins, closing the bracelet around his wrist.

"It looks good on you. Do you like it?"

"It's so beautiful, thank you from the bottom of my heart."

"Don't take it off."

"I won't. It's the best gift ever!"

Wooyoung smiled, softened. 

“Now… we have to do that,” San said, rummaging through his backpack. 

Wooyoung rolled his eyes. "Do we have to?"

"You promised me!"

San had never drunk in his life and had asked him on his 16th birthday to join him in this first experience. Wooyoung hated alcohol to death. It tasted disgusting and that taste wouldn't go away for days. He also did not understand San's compelling need to try drinking.

"Don't make that face, I already told you, it's a—”

"A rite of passage, I know, I get it. Let's just do it then."

San excitedly pulled the bottle of vodka out of his backpack. He looked at Wooyoung for a moment, as if to ask his approval, and seeing his surrendered gaze, took a sip. He immediately coughed.

Wooyoung burst out laughing. "Disgusting, huh? To think you wanted to try it so bad. You should trust me more."

San closed the bottle again, setting it aside as if it had personally offended him. "But why do people drink this crap?"

"People do so many stupid and senseless things."

San blushed, nodding. Who knows what he was thinking.

"Wooyoung... speaking of stupid things... do you want to know what I wished for earlier?"

Wooyoung had a bad feeling, but he was dying to know.

"You shouldn't tell me. Or it won't come true."

Unfortunately, wishes did not come true either way. However, San seemed convinced otherwise. That was why Wooyoung adored him.

San shifted his crossed legs, moving from the bed frame on which he had rested his back, getting on his knees in front of Wooyoung.

He put his hands on Wooyoung’s face. If Wooyoung’s heart could have beaten, it would have missed a beat.

"Don't do that..."

But San was now determined. He approached him in an awfully slow manner. Wooyoung felt petrified. San gently rested his soft lips on his, only to freeze a moment later. He had been bold enough to make that gesture, but not to go all the way.

Wooyoung grabbed him gently by the shoulders, pulling him away. 

"What are you doing?"

"Wooyoung...I really wanted to give my first kiss on my birthday."

"You should kiss someone when you fall in love, not me."

San blushed deeply. "Maybe I am in love with you, though."

Wooyoung, from the height of his two hundred years of experience, found himself speechless. No one had ever told him such a thing. San, who was only a child in his eyes, could not tell him such a thing. 

"You don't know what you're saying."

San's eyes filled with tears. "Yes, I do. I-I like you, Wooyoung. I've always liked you."

Wooyoung sighed, taking him into his arms. "No. You don't like me. You are too young for these things. You're confused because you're always with me. Someday you'll fall in love and you'll know the difference. I’m... not good for you."

"Why not?"

Because I have killed so many people I can't even remember the number, because I don't want to hurt you, because I am 206 years older than you, because I promised myself to protect you, because one day you will grow old and I won't be able to grow old with you, because I am a monster and you are human.

"...Because I am too old for you."

"But you are only four years older than me!"

“You're still a minor. I can't."

"If I wasn’t a minor, would you want me?"

"San, stop it."

San stopped talking. After a few moments of silence, he began to cry. "I-I knew you would have said no — but I wanted to try anyway. Are you angry?"

"No, I'm not angry."

"Are we still friends?"

"Of course."

San clung to him. Wooyoung was sorry that the birthday did not go the way San had hoped, but it was for the best. Better to set the record straight right away. Wooyoung would make sure that San would find the person who deserved him someday when he grew up, and that person was definitely not him.

Wooyoung thought San had fallen asleep, but instead after a short while he heard him speak. “Wooyoung — why did you give this bracelet to me? Shouldn't you give it to someone more special?"

"Who, for example?"

“I don’t know... to the person you like."

Wooyoung laughed. "I want to give it to you. Can't I?"

San nodded against his chest, falling asleep a few minutes later.

The next day, Wooyoung picked up San from school, as he used to do. They would have had lunch together. Or rather, San would have had lunch, while Wooyoung would have made an effort to swallow some rice. He was slightly late. The woman he had fed on had been harder than expected to manipulate. Some minds were simply stronger.

However, when he arrived, he found San with swollen eyes and bruises on his face.

"What happened?!"

San extended his arm. He was no longer wearing the bracelet. "The boys from my class stole it from me. I tried to stop them, but there were five of them. Even though I train hard in taekwondo, I couldn't stop them — I’m so sorry, Wooyoung."

But Wooyoung had already taken off at a fast pace toward the small group of bratty bastards, followed by San. As soon as they saw him, they looked at each other, slightly scared. However, even though Wooyoung was older, it was one against five, so they were not that intimidated. How wrong they were.

"Did you steal his bracelet?" asked Wooyoung.

"What do you care?"

"It happens to be mine. So I do care. Give it back to him now."

The boy holding it burst out laughing, throwing the bracelet into the air a couple of times, then freezing. Wooyoung was now quite good at mind manipulation.

The boy immediately handed the bracelet to San, who took it in disbelief.

"Now apologize."

The boys all began to apologize in chorus, bowing like the good boys they were not.

"If you try to bother him one more time, I won't be so nice. Get out of my sight."

The little group ran off at once.

San looked at Wooyoung in disbelief. "I didn't realize you were so scary."

Yeah, he really didn't realize it.

"I still have a few tricks up my sleeve, as you can see."

Chapter Text

THREE YEARS BEFORE THE MOMENT THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING

Wooyoung was at the airport. San's mother had asked him the favor of picking him up when he returned from summer camp because she and San’s father were still on vacation. The sun hurt his eyes even with the black glasses he had always on.

How they had teased him, Hongjoong and Yeosang, when he had asked Hongjoong to borrow his car. 

"From phenomenal predator to driver." So funny.

Finally he saw San. His hair was long, he could tell he hadn't cut it in a long time. He had done a single platinum highlight on his dark locks. He looked good. He looked like he had grown.

"Wooyoung!" he shouted excitedly, running to embrace him.

Wooyoung returned the hug cautiously. It had been more than a month since they had seen each other; Wooyoung had already become unaccustomed to holding a human being without drinking his blood.

"What did you do to your hair?"

"Do you like it? My roommate did it for me."

"It looks good on you. Did you have a good time? Did anything happen while you were gone?"

"It went very well, actually! But it would have been nicer if you had been there."

"I would have been out of place among you kids, don't you think?"

"Maybe."

Wooyoung took the bag from his hand, putting it into the car. A long journey under the sun awaited them. How wonderful.

"And what about you? Did you miss me?" asked San. "What have you been doing in my absence?"

"Yes, I missed you," too much, "I was worried about you. I didn't do anything much, though — I’ve been with my brothers.”

San nodded, thoughtful. Wooyoung had noticed earlier that his voice was beginning to become warmer, less childish; he couldn't wait for him to speak again to make sure it wasn’t just an impression.

"Look, Wooyoung. I know that your brothers are older than you and I'm just a kid to them, however, I kind of regret not ever seeing them. You spend a lot of time with my family, but I've never even been to your house. How come? Are you ashamed of me?"

"Don't start that again."

"If you don't explain things to me, it's normal for me to have to ask several times."

Wooyoung sighed. The reflection of sun on the cars around them was giving him a migraine, and San was no better. 

"If I don't explain something to you it's because I can't and I don't want to. Just let it go, for once.”

“…Are you alright?"

"I have a headache. Please don't talk."

San fell silent, turning away, resting his forehead on the window. Wooyoung did not want to offend him after a month of separation, but he did not know how to explain him that he did not want to take him to his home because he had an underlying fear that he would not make it out alive.

Wooyoung had always tried to keep Hongjoong and Yeosang separate from San. In the sporadic times they had seen each other, nothing much had ever happened, of course. The two vampires, over those years, had learned to respect his relationship with San. They still did not understand it, still found it dangerous, still could not get how Wooyoung could spend all that time with a human without feeding from him even once, but... they respected it.

However, Wooyoung had seen them hunt down enough humans that he couldn't help but imagine them planting their teeth in San's throat when he saw them together. An irrational fear, but one that made him live those moments with anguish. 

He didn't like San being so close to vampires. That was all. What a hypocrite he was.

He noticed that San was still looking sullenly out the window. He sighed. 

"Hey, it's not because I'm ashamed of you."

"What?"

"I don't like you being with my brothers because I'm ashamed of them. Not of you. I could never be ashamed of you."

"Why are you ashamed of your brothers?"

"Because... they remind me of unpleasant things. I know you see me in a certain way, but I wasn't always like this. I'm not very proud of the person I used to be. When I'm with them I feel like I'm going back to those times. Now stop pouting and tell me a little about the summer camp."

San instantly brightened up. "It was great! They even let us ride horses! I had never been on a horse, it was so cool — I even groomed my horse, I think he liked me. One day I had put sugar in my pocket to give him after the ride and he kept following me because he could smell it! He was really cute..."

Wooyoung let that voice a little warmer than he remembered lull him. How he would have loved to really be the 21-year-old he claimed to be. He wished he could have experienced things as naively as San did, not having to be careful with what he said all the time, not worrying that he was not worthy of San's company. Just an ordinary guy, in short. 

Finally, after a couple of hours' drive, the two entered San's house, where Wooyoung had practically moved in. They spent the nights talking, after Wooyoung had helped him with his homework. San’s mother always invited him to stay over. How easily San and his family trusted people. 

"What do you want to eat?" asked San.

"I've already eaten."

"Really? So you're not keeping me company?"

"No, sorry, I'm not hungry," said Wooyoung. He really didn't feel like pretending to find human food delicious that day.

San warmed up a precooked ramen, eating it happily as if it were a dish worthy of a starred restaurant.

After a while he blushed. Wooyoung by now understood that this was a sign that he was about to do something that embarrassed him.

"Wooyoung, I made a small something for you at summer camp. It's nothing, really...it'll probably look a little silly too, but..."

"What is it?" Wooyoung felt genuinely curious. Honestly he would have liked anything made by San's hands.

"Here..." San pulled a small brown paper bag out of his pocket he had closed carefully.

Wooyoung quickly opened it and pulled out a bracelet made of colorful threads. 

"Since you gave me a bracelet last year, I wanted to give you a bracelet too. I know mine doesn't even compare to yours," he said, fiddling with the ruby on his wrist, "I hope you like it anyway, though."

That bracelet was so simple, so colorful, soaked with the affection of the person who had woven it. It screamed "San." Wooyoung loved it. 

"I like it so much," he said, immediately extending his wrist to him.

San took his time to carefully lace it in a triple knot, tightening until he was satisfied.

"I was told that when you give such a bracelet as a gift, the two people will remain friends until the bracelet breaks or the knot is untied," he explained. "So don't take it off."

Wooyoung smiled. San was always so naive and tender. 

"I promise."

"Wooyoung?"

"Tell me."

"Do you think — I mean — do you think we will be friends forever?"

Wooyoung felt as if his heart had lost a beat, which was impossible since it was not beating.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because I would like to be with you forever."

"'Forever' is not a word people should say."

"Why?"

"Because your 'forever' is worthless. One day you will die."

San looked at him, raising an eyebrow, slightly stunned at the turn the conversation had taken. "We will die, you mean."

"...Yes, of course."

"Well, then I want to stay with you until we die. Is that better?"

"I promise to stay with you until you die," Wooyoung replied. One day San would begin to grow old instead of growing up. Wooyoung would have had to disappear from his life before he realized it was not the same for him. But he had promised himself that he would have always watched over him until he was old and, at last, dead.

San nodded, thoughtful. "Sometimes you talk funny," he said.

"I know."

Wooyoung always strived to be sincere without ever revealing too much. It was normal for him to come across as cryptic to a 17-year-old's ears.

"You kind of creeped me out, honestly."

"I didn't mean to scare you. The bracelet is beautiful, thank you very much. You did really well. Who taught you?"

San smiled, forgetting all about the strange conversation they had just had. How easy it was to change the direction of a young boy's thoughts. But Wooyoung had never used mind manipulation on him. It would have felt like desecrating a temple to him, altering his perfect mind.

Wooyoung came home that day fiddling with his new bracelet. It was really cute, although all that color on him looked almost strange.

As soon as he entered the lair, as he liked to call it, Hongjoong immediately went to meet him.

"Wooyoung! Here you are back from babysitting. How did it go at the summer camp?"

"Good. He had a good time. He went horseback riding."

Hongjoong nodded, wanting to make an effort to make conversation and take a step toward him, but not quite knowing what to say. "What's that?" he said, noticing the bracelet.

"He made it."

"It's cute. Not much your style, but cute."

"In fact, I think so, too."

"Be careful not to get blood on it though, it's made of fabric. It wouldn't be easy to clean it. In case you would have to take it off."

Wooyoung hadn't thought about it. How had he not thought about it?

"I'll be careful," he only said.

Yeosang jumped down from the second floor, landing between them. "Cute indeed, the doggy needed a collar, actually."

Wooyoung grabbed him roughly. "When are you going to stop being such a jerk?"

"And when are you going to stop letting your lunch walk you around?"

Hongjoong interjected. "Yeosang, don't talk to him like that. You know that San is special. Even the walls have figured it out by now. Force yourself to accept it."

Yeosang released his grip on Wooyoung’s wrists. "San this, San that — if he is so special, when will you turn him? You know that one day he will die, right?"

"I know. But I'm not going to turn him and force him to live in this filth with us."

"And when he dies what are you going to do, huh? Because right now it seems to me that you have lost it, Wooyoung. It seems like your existence depends on that brat. I'm worried about you. What are you going to do when he dies, won't you tell me?"

"I... don't know."

He really didn't know; he didn't even want to think about it. 

Yeosang clicked his tongue. "Come on, let's go hunting, we've been waiting for you to go all together. I'm starving."

Chapter Text

TWO YEARS BEFORE THE MOMENT THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING

Wooyoung was watching San sleep, his figure kissed by the moon. His dark hair fell over his eyes. In two months he would be graduating from high school, Wooyoung couldn’t quite believe it. He was already eighteen years old. How good life was.

Suddenly, San opened one eye. "Wooyoung, are you asleep?" he whispered.

"No."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Have you ever... how should I say it... have you… ever h-had sex?”

Wooyoung raised himself up on one elbow, stunned by the question. 

"Why are you asking something like this?"

"B-Because...I was wondering what it's like..."

Wooyoung could not tell him what it was like for a human being. He had never done it when he was still human. If he did it, it usually preceded the tearing out of the throat of his prey, so he didn't think his were very useful experiences for San.

"You're too young to think about such things, don't you think?"

"No! I'm already eighteen years old! Everyone in class teases me because I haven't done it yet."

Wooyoung raised an eyebrow; kids these days were truly indescribable. "I don't see how it could be any of their business whether you do it or not."

San was furiously blushing and Wooyoung could see it even without turning on the light. Wooyoung had a bad feeling. 

"There's more, isn't it?"

San nodded. "A boy asked me to the prom. I told him yes. Do you think he'll want to... I mean... I've been told that after the prom everyone goes to... well..."

"I don't know if he'll want to do it, but I certainly know you shouldn't accept, anyway."

"Why?"

"Because you're not ready. You can't even say it out loud. How do you think you can bare yourself in every possible way to someone you don't even know?"

"B-But I do know him..."

"Who is he?" Wooyoung did not like the turn the conversation was taking. It may be that when he had been young, things were very different, but the thought of some random guy taking San in his shitty car to get laid made his skin crawl. 

"Lee Juyeon...do you remember him?"

"...Am I wrong, or is he one of the guys who have been picking on you all these years?"

"W-Well, I wouldn't put it that way, but he's one of that group, yes..."

Wooyoung turned on the light. San immediately covered his face with his arms, embarrassed.

"San, are you serious? You can't go to the prom with him. In fact, you can't go anywhere with him at all. You definitely can't sleep with him. I forbid it."

San removed his arms from his face, suddenly angry. "Who are you, my father?"

"Since when do you talk to me like that? Are you experiencing now some kind of teenage rebellion, or whatever the hell it's called?"

San did not answer. Wooyoung put a hand on his hair, stroking it gently. 

"San, I know I'm not your father and I can't forbid you to do anything, but I really think you shouldn’t do it. Don't you think you should trust me? I know you better than anyone else."

San nodded. "You're right, sorry...I don't know what came over me...it's just, when he asked me to go with him, I was so happy...no one had ever been interested in me like that."

"He's not necessarily interested in you like that."

San chilled. "What do you mean?"

"He's been hurting you for years — how come he's showing interest in you now? Isn't it that he wants to hurt you?" 

San's eyes filled with tears. "It's not that because you don't want me then it's impossible for someone else to want me."

It was Wooyoung's turn to chill. He decided to ignore what San had just said.

“Let’s suppose you are right and he really does want you. Do you feel comfortable enough with him to do such a thing for the first time?"

"No."

"Then you've already answered everything yourself. Just don't do it. Someday you will find someone who deserves you with whom you feel comfortable enough. Then I won't tell you anything."

"But I have already found that person."

"San...please..."

"Wooyoung, why can't you understand how I feel about you? You've been that person all along. Please give me a chance."

"No." 

Wooyoung couldn't be that person, because he didn't deserve it. Simple as that. He could not allow San to give himself to a lying murderer. San did not know how disgusting Wooyoung was, but he knew better. He didn't want his rottenness to infect San, like a perfect apple finding itself in a basket full of worms. Only someone his equal could have had him, and that person was not him nor Lee Juyeon.

San interpreted that harsh "no" in a completely different way, of course, and his eyes filled with tears.

"San..."

"Leave me alone."

With that said, he turned around, trying to cry as quietly as possible. "If you don't want me... at least don't get in my way if I try to move on."

Wooyoung hugged him, ignoring the way his body stiffened. "I will always get in your way if I think you are making a mistake."

"Why?"

"Because you are the only important person in the world to me. You don't know how much you inspire me every day to be better. Knowing you has changed me completely."

"...Stop confusing me, Wooyoung."

Wooyoung sighed. San could not understand. Wooyoung did not blame him. What he was saying sounded contradictory, he realized it, especially to the ears of an 18-year-old who had not suffered loneliness and total loss of faith in the world for two hundred years. The love Wooyoung felt for him was all-encompassing and indescribable; it went beyond romantic, brotherly, anything. He wanted nothing from San but his happiness and for him to remain as he good as he was. 

Sensing that he was still sobbing softly, Wooyoung began to rock him gently, hoping to calm him down.

"Please, Wooyoung, let me go. Why are you so cruel to me? Do you enjoy making me suffer?"

Wooyoung froze. Then he let him go as if he were burning up.

"Maybe I'd better leave you alone tonight."

“Yeah, maybe."

“Then, good night."

Wooyoung got out of bed, leaving the room. San did not stop him. Wooyoung felt so heavy. San was not happy, and it was his fault. 

At last, San decided to really go to the prom with that Lee Juyeon. Wooyoung had gone to his house to help him prepare himself for the night. 

"How do I look?"

"Beautiful."

"Do you think he'll like me?"

"He'd be stupid if he didn't like you."

San gave him a meaningful look, but quickly changed the subject. As soon as the doorbell rang, San rushed to open it with an incredibly bright smile on his lips. Juyeon squared him from head to toe in a disgustingly hungry manner, in Wooyoung's opinion. Maybe he had been wrong, this guy seemed to really like San, it was not a prank. But he had not been wrong about one thing. For him, he was no good.

"Juyeon, you're early."

"I was looking forward to seeing you. You look very good."

"So are you."

"San," Wooyoung interjected. The two boys turned around. "You forgot your tie upstairs."

"Oh," said San, embarrassed. "I'll be right back."

Wooyoung and the guy stood for an awkward moment looking at each other. That Juyeon was obviously uncomfortable.

"Do you remember me, boy?"

"Y-yes."

"I remember you, too. Why did you ask San out?"

"Look, I know how it may look from the outside. But I've always liked him. I realized that recently. I've picked on him over the years because I couldn't accept that I had feelings for him. But now it's different."

"Why would it be different?"

"Because I have changed. I want to try seriously with him."

Wooyoung nodded a few times, thoughtful. "Listen to me carefully. You're going to make sure that nothing happens to San tonight, that he has a good time, you're going to make him dance and all that. Then you will bring him back here and disappear from his life. Don't try to touch him with your filthy hands in the meantime, is that clear?"

Lee Juyeon looked bewildered for a moment, then confused, then he froze. "I understand."

"Good."

San ran down the stairs again. "Here I am, shall we go?"

Juyeon seemed to collect himself, but he still looked confused. “S-Sure, let's go."

"Have fun," Wooyoung said, waving them out the door.

How low had he fallen? Manipulating a teenager for such a reason? He had never done anything so embarrassing and unreasonable in two hundred years. He couldn’t let Hongjoong and Yeosang know about this.

Chapter Text

ONE YEAR BEFORE THE MOMENT THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING

Wooyoung was training with Yeosang in combat. One could never know, although it hadn’t happened often over the years to meet other vampires, the times it had happened they had always needed to defend themselves.

At one point, he heard the phone ring. It was San's mother. Wooyoung raised an eyebrow, surprised. Yeosang huffed, going to sit down. He understood that practice was over.

"Mrs. Choi?"

"Hello Wooyoung, can I bother you for a minute?"

“You never bother. Tell me."

"Is San with you?"

"...No. Why?"

“Is he not? He was supposed to be back home hours ago. I thought he had met directly with you after returning from the vacation."

San had gone skiing with his taekwondo teammates for a week.  It had been his graduation present and he had been looking forward for the snow to come for the last months. He hadn't know how to ski, but he was a fast learner.

"No. I haven't actually heard from him yet. In any case, don't worry, I'll find him."

With that said, he hung up the phone, immediately calling San. He did not answer. Very strange.

"Have you lost your human?" asked Yeosang. 

Wooyoung blatantly ignored him, leaving to go find San. To his surprise, Yeosang followed him.

"What do you want?"

"Can't I help you?"

"Why should you?"

"Because I know that expression. You're worried. Do you think something bad happened to him?"

"What do you care? Maybe you're hoping for it."

Yeosang grabbed his arm. "Listen Wooyoung. You know I don't like this situation, but I'm tired of fighting with you. This has been going on for five years. I won't like it, but if something happened to that human I'm afraid you'd spend the rest of eternity trying to commit suicide. Don't you want my help? Two vampires are better than one."

"...All right then. In fact, I'm worried. They left hours ago from the shelter, he should have been home by now."

"Shall we go all the way back to the shelter?"

"Let's go."

The two started running at top speed, which in their case was incredibly fast, and after a little over an hour, Wooyoung finally caught a familiar scent.

They were about halfway between the shelter and the city. Wooyoung was convinced this time his heart had stopped beating for the second time in those 225 years. San's companion's car was on the side of the road, crumpled against the guardrail.

"Oh fuck," he heard Yeosang say.

Wooyoung rushed to the car, pulling the rear door off to extract San's body from the vehicle.

"Wait Wooyoung, you risk doing worse! Humans are fragile!"

But by then Wooyoung had already pulled San out of the car. Holding him in his arms, he knelt on the ground, trying to figure out the extent of his injuries.

He saw that Yeosang was keeping his distance. His eyes were black. There was quite a bit of blood, indeed, but Wooyoung was focused on something else. 

He noticed that San was breathing. His heart was beating steadily. When he moved him, he groaned faintly. He had taken a blow to the head, it was bleeding profusely, but on closer inspection it did not look very deep. His arm was probably broken, judging by the angle of his elbow. His back looked normal. His legs as well. All in all, he was relatively well. 

As soon as he had calmed down, Wooyoung took a moment to breathe deeply. It was a mistake. Only then did he notice the blood that was soaking his own clothes, dyeing the white snow around them red. San's blood, which should have remained sealed inside of his body, but was now gushing out onto Wooyoung, as if to tell him to taste.

Wooyoung felt possessed. He took a handful of red snow, bringing it to his lips. The morbid curiosity he had suppressed for years had taken over. As soon as his tongue rested on the bloody snow, he felt a rush of adrenaline. That blood was like its owner. Sweet as honey, pure, perfect. He felt his eyes turn black. The canines stretched. He slowly lowered himself onto San, breathing deeply. He licked a drop of blood that ran down his jaw. Warm was even better.

Just then he felt himself abruptly grabbed and pulled away from the boy. 

"WOOYOUNG! GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF!"

Only when Yeosang physically pulled him away from San did Wooyoung realize what he was doing. He paled.

"I...I..."

"Get away from here."

"But I have to help him!"

"His life is not in danger! I'll call an ambulance. This is a human matter. Get away before you do something you'll regret."

Wooyoung cast a glance at San, slumped on the ground in the cold.

"I can't leave him..."

"I'll stay until the ambulance comes. And don't look at me like that, I'll keep my distance. Just trust me, go away."

Wooyoung cast one last glance at San and the bloody snow below him - he decided that, indeed, he definitely had to get away as soon as possible. 

He ran away as fast as he could, disgusted with himself. How could he have done such a thing? After five years of struggling with himself, in which he had convinced himself that he was immune to San's blood, he had failed in a moment of distraction. He could never let his guard down with him. Thank God his instinct to protect him was stronger than thirst and he had not bitten him. That he could have never forgiven himself. 

But still, even if he had not bitten him, there was no guarantee that he wouldn’t have if Yeosang had not been there. He did not believe that would come the day when Yeosang, of all people, would save San from him. 

Why had he tasted his blood? Now he would have never been able to forget the taste of it. He would think about it always, all the time he spent him. He had ruined everything. He sucked, he was a sick monster. 

Wooyoung rushed to hide in the lair, locking himself in his own room, hiding his head between his legs. After a few hours, he heard Yeosang return, opening his door with a sigh.

"He's fine. The ambulance came and took them away, but of all of them, I'd say your human was in the best shape."

"Good. Thank you," Wooyoung said without raising his head.

"Wooyoung... about what happened... don't blame yourself. It's your nature."

Wooyoung shook his head. He could not accept it, and the sweet taste he still felt on his tongue was haunting him.

A few days later, Wooyoung visited San in the hospital. This time he had fed himself well before he went. He could not be hungry. Usually he would stop before knocking his prey unconscious, but this time he had drained that girl almost completely, leaving her unconscious in an alley.

As soon as he entered the room where San was resting, he saw him brighten up and try to sit up.

"Wooyoung, you've finally come," he said, extending his chalkless hand, the one with the bracelet.

Wooyoung reached out to him, taking his outstretched hand. As soon as he squeezed that warm hand, feeling his heart pulsing through his skin, he froze. The memory of that sweet blood assaulted him. He found himself looking down San's throat, the vein on his neck pulsing in rhythm with his heartbeat. He felt the canines lengthen. 

He quickly let go of his hand, turning away.

"Wooyoung, are you all right? Where have you been these days?"

Wooyoung did not answer, leaving the room as fast as he could. He had ruined everything.

***

A month later, Wooyoung was still imprisoned in a twirl of self-hatred. He had locked himself in his lair, going out only to eat. He had turned off his phone, locking it in a drawer. He was sure that if he had turned it on he would have found hundreds of missed calls. But he couldn't risk seeing San. Not after what had happened. He was too afraid of hurting him. He was too disgusted with himself to approach him. Who knows how hurt he felt at that moment. Wooyoung had been his only certainty for years. Throughout his adolescence. Now he was almost a man and needed guidance more than ever, but Wooyoung was too afraid to be around him.

However, one day, the unthinkable happened. 

There was a reason Wooyoung enjoyed calling the house he lived in with Hongjoong and Yeosang a "lair." It was not a gothic stronghold, clearly. Nor was it a particularly isolated house in the middle of nowhere. It was a dark, filthy hole in the most infamous part of town. 

This was for two reasons. The first, that drug addicts, prostitutes, and criminals were less likely than normal people to report any oddities they witnessed. The second, that if they killed or injured them no one cared much. It was an excellent hunting ground.

The point was that Wooyoung had always insisted to San that he didn't come here because it wasn't really a place for him, besides the fact that he didn't want him to spend too much time with the other two vampires. Nothing would have clashed more in that shitty place than San and his dimpled smile. 

However, one day, he, Hongjoong and Yeosang had just finished eating when Wooyoung smelled something familiar. Seeing him stiffen, his two companions looked at him alarmed.

"What's wrong?"

Then they all heard it. A voice, not far away. 

“Wooyoung…? Wooyoung!”

What the hell was San doing in that godforsaken neighborhood?!

Yeosang snickered. "Your human came looking for you."

Hongjoong immediately began dragging the body of the boy they had just fed on into an alley. "We'll take care of it here, go."

Wooyoung didn’t need to be told twice. He walked a couple of blocks to see San wandering around looking completely out of place, stopping from time to time to read the last names on doorbells to look for his house.

"SAN! What the hell are you doing here!" said Wooyoung surprising him from behind.

San gasped, "Wooyoung! You scared me."

Wooyoung grabbed him by the arm, dragging him to a more secluded spot. He looked around to make sure they were alone. Then he finally focused on him. He felt an electric shock. He had not seen that face in a month. San was looking at him with furrowed brows.

"How can you think of coming here? I've told you a thousand times that this is not a good place. Did you want to get mugged?"

"I just wanted to find out where you had gone. Why did you disappear?"

Wooyoung did not know what to say. He was so strong that he could have lifted a truck on his shoulders, but in the face of that hurt and disappointed expression he felt terribly weak.

"I needed you,” said San. “You don't know how scared I was when I woke up in the hospital alone. Then you came to see me and ran away a second later. I didn't understand what was going on. You haven't answered my calls for a month, you never showed up. I was afraid something bad had happened to you or that you had gotten into trouble. Instead you were here. How come you disappeared?"

Because the temptation to sink my teeth down your throat was so strong that I couldn't be near you.

"I can't tell you. Please forgive me."

“You can’t tell me? Another one of your secrets? Wooyoung...dammit..." a second later San threw his arms around his neck, clinging to him. "How can I not forgive you? I'm just glad you're okay. Please don't ever disappear again. Don't leave me alone."

As was to be expected. That candid soul who could not get angry with him even if he had every reason to do so. Holding him, Wooyoung realized how much he had missed him. The desire to be near him after that forced separation exceeded that of his blood. 

"I need my best friend. You can't ignore me like this," San continued, against his hair.

"I won't do it again. I promise you. I'm so sorry."

Chapter Text

A FEW DAYS BEFORE THE MOMENT THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING

Wooyoung had recently celebrated San's 20th birthday with him. By now he was no longer a teenager. He had grown up, in every way. He was taller, his petite body got more toned and solid, his sweetness was still there, but his naiveté had diminished dramatically. He was a calmer and less enthusiastic person, but just as sensitive and mature. He had become the gorgeous young man Wooyoung had longed to see one day.

With each passing day, it was harder for Wooyoung to resist the temptation to give him what he so desperately wanted from him. He knew that San loved him. He had told him over and over again now, since that first clumsy attempt on his 16th birthday.

He had lost hope that Wooyoung would say yes to him, but he still brought it up from time to time. In a less desperate and more serene, more surrendered way, but it still happened. Wooyoung hoped he would stop it once and for all, because he did not know how many more times he would be able to say no to him. By now he had realized that he was not as strong as he had thought.

Like a few days earlier, when he had helped San move into his new small apartment, closer to where he worked. San had told him something along the lines of "why don't you move in here? We're always together anyway." Wooyoung had almost agreed right then and there, only to remember that he could not go back to their house to wash himself of his victims' blood. Not only because it was a secret, but more importantly because he could not bring that kind of violence to San's small shelter.

The other realization that had come when San had turned 20 was that, technically, they were now the same age, physically. Wooyoung could pass himself off as a 24-year-old. But for a 30-year-old, someday? San would continue to grow, would age, while Wooyoung would remain as he was, unable to follow him. It was a hard truth to accept. He wished more than anything that time would flow again for him as well. 

This was a problem he could no longer ignore. It had put him at a crossroads. 

Should he have told San the truth, told him that he was a murderer, a bloodthirsty monster, that he would not grow old with him, but still wanted to stay in his life? No. He couldn’t.

Should he have disappeared from his life before San realized that there was something wrong with him? He would have preferred to tear his own skin off.

He decided to postpone that terrible decision one more time. He had to pick up San from work. Actually, it wasn't that he had to. San was no longer a child; he could manage perfectly well to go home alone. But Wooyoung simply enjoyed so much walking with him and listening to how his day had been.

He finally arrived at the flower shop where San worked. His boss was a bitch, but the shop was lovely and suited him all too well. San reserved a smile for every single customer, he wrapped every single bouquet with care and precision, he was really good.

He saw through the window that San was looking with special interest at a blood-red rose, so beautiful that it looked as if it had been painted, at the perfect stage of bloom, like San.

As soon as San laid a finger on it, his boss attacked him. "Stop playing with that rose! These flowers are for the customers, not for you."

San jerked his hand away, embarrassed. Wooyoung wished he could have taken that woman, drained her, and throw her into a garbage can. 

He entered the store. He'd been going there every day since San had been hired and that witch still couldn't remember who he was. Usually Wooyoung stuck in people's memories, so it was quite weird.

"Hello, can I help you?" the woman asked him with an overly sweet smile that had nothing to do with San's sincere and bright one.

"Yes, I would like to buy that rose. I saw it from the window and it caught my eye."

San looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"You have a good eye then! San, get it ready for him."

San hurriedly picked it up, with a bemused expression, wrapping it and carefully tying a shiny black ribbon around it. Then he handed it to Wooyoung.

"Thank you, you’re very kind," he said, winking at San. "Have a nice day." 

He exited the store, leaning against the wall as he waited for San to get out. 

Finally San came out. "Here I am at last! Let's go," he said, immediately starting to walk briskly towards home.

Wooyoung was stunned. Wasn't he asking him about the rose?

He hurried to catch up with him. ”How was your day?"

"A little stressful. Mrs. Kim won't give me a break, but some beautiful orchids arrived. We managed to sold all of them, can you believe it? I was so happy. Yours?"

"Usual stuff. I had a fight with my brother Yeosang, got bored to death, ate — nothing interesting."

After a moment, he could not resist the temptation. "San...why don't you ask me about the rose?"

San blushed. "Because by now I know that if you don't want to tell me something, it's impossible to get you to talk. But since you brought up the subject yourself...who is it for? Are you going on a date?"

San was looking at the floor with ill-concealed embarrassment. Wooyoung was stunned.

"In all these years, have I ever dated anyone?"

"No."

"Then what makes you think I have a date?"

“I don’t know...you bought a rose."

Wooyoung laughed. "For you."

San finally looked at him. "What?"

"I bought it for you. I noticed you liked it, I saw you from the window. I must say, though, I had imagined a different scene."

San was a blushing mess. "Wooyoung. You shouldn't have..."

"Look, let's start over. You just came out of the shop and didn't just walk away without even looking at me."

San looked at him condescendingly, playing along. "All right... Hi Wooyoung, I'm finally done. Why did you come in to buy that rose?"

"To give it to the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen."

San immediately burst out laughing. "You would have never said that! How did you come up with this!"

Wooyoung also burst out laughing. He was right. He would never have said such a thing. In fact, he did not know what he would have said. He handed him the rose.

"Anyway, I really got it for you. I heard what Mrs. Kim said to you, and I think she's wrong. You work so hard, you deserve at least the flower you like the most as a reward. Tomorrow it will not be as beautiful. If today no one has noticed its beauty but you, you must have it." 

San finally accepted it. "Thank you Wooyoung. I really appreciate it. As soon as I get home I'll put it to dry so it’ll stay beautiful forever."

"No. Don't do that."

"Why?"

"Just let it die. Let it run its course."

"But I don't want it to just die."

"Would you rather keep the corpse of a rose only apparently still beautiful and alive in your house?"

San frowned. "Why do you have to say it so oddly? I want to keep it because it reminds me of you, I don't want to throw it away."

"...Do as you like."

After dropping San off, he returned to his own home. Since he was working, San was much more tired; he could no longer talk to him until late at night, unfortunately.

When he entered, Hongjoong instantly attacked him with Yeosang in tow.

"Wooyoung, here you are at last! Bad news."

"Which is?"

"A new group of vampires has moved into town. We still don't know how many there are and what their intentions are. Yeosang caught one of them following him. It is likely that they are stalking all three of us."

"How long have they been here?"

"Hard to say, they seem better at concealing their tracks than we are."

"The one following me was very fast," Yeosang intervened. "I attacked him as soon as I noticed him, but he left almost immediately and I wasn’t able to keep up with him."

"Didn't he tell you what he wanted?"

Yeosang shook his head.

Hongjoong resumed. "Now as never before we must stand together. We shouldn’t be caught alone. Stay home these days."

Wooyoung shook his head. "If there is a new group of vampires, I must stay with San all the more."

"No, Wooyoung," Hongjoong interrupted him. "You're really in danger of getting him killed if they notice you're so interested in him. Avoiding him is the best way to protect him at the moment. It's unlikely that with all the people living in this town they would decide to attack him specifically."

"But what if they have already seen me with him and have already realized that he is not just any human?"

Yeosang intervened. "In any case, it's time for you to finally let him go. How much longer can you pass yourself off as a human? I know you've realized this yourself. Either turn him, or let him go."

Wooyoung shook his head. "I could never turn him — nor let him go."

Yeosang kicked the wall in frustration.

Wooyoung ignored him. "I'll go to him. Let's update in a few days. We still don’t know if those vampires have bad intentions. Maybe they are just studying us, like we want to do with them."

"Do whatever you want, but if you get your little human killed or even get yourself killed, don't say we didn't tell you so."

Wooyoung decided not to respond. He was perfectly capable of protecting both himself and San.

He immediately left the lair, running so fast he was invisible to the human eye, until he arrived to the door of San's apartment. He knocked.

San opened the door slightly, guarded and sleepy, only to open it wide once he saw it was Wooyoung.

"Wooyoung, what are you doing here? I had almost fallen asleep."

"Sorry, it's just that...I had a fight with my brothers. Can I stay with you for a few days?"

San quickly moved to let him in, without asking for more details.

"Go ahead and sleep," Wooyoung said, “I'm coming."

With that said, he made a quick check of the windows. As always, San had left the kitchen window half open. San said he needed to always feel a bit of fresh air. Wooyoung closed it. For a few days San would have had to adjust.

He cast a glance at him. He was already asleep. Everything was fine. 

Those vampires just had to try to get close to him.

Chapter Text

THE DAY EVERYTHING CHANGED

Wooyoung was picking up San from work. As usual. That day he had a surprise for him.

He waited patiently for him outside the flower shop, leaning against the wall next to the door. When San finally came out, walking up to him with that beaming smile, Wooyoung couldn't help but smile back.

After walking for a while, listening to how his day had been, Wooyoung took his arm, dragging him into a secluded alley.

San looked around, confused. "Wooyoung...what are you doing?"

"I wanted to give you something, when I saw it I thought it was perfect for us."

He pulled out of his backpack a small case containing a black rose that had been treated in some unnatural way. It would have remained fresh forever. It was just like Wooyoung. Dark and still in its state of apparent perfection.

San looked at it in fascination taking it gently between his hands. "How beautiful, Wooyoung. Where did you find it? Why is it perfect for us?"

"Because it’s is just like me. I, too, cannot grow old. I, too, will forever stay the way I am because something happened to me. I have been lying to you for six years, but now I have to tell you the truth, or else I will lose you soon."

San looked at him confused. Wooyoung could not blame him. He took the rose from his hands, putting it back inside his backpack. Then he put his hands on San's shoulders, pushing him against the wall.

"Wooyoung, what are you doing?"

"I want you, San. I want you in ways your mind can't even imagine. I cannot lose you. If after you find out the truth about me, you’ll still love me, I will be yours forever."

San looked at him with a mixture of curiosity, fear, and confusion. Soon he would have understood everything.

Wooyoung breathed the sweet scent of his blood, allowing his canines to come out, his eyes to turn pitch black. San paled, shocked. Wooyoung had a feeling he was on the verge of try escaping, but he did not let him. He crushed him against the wall, pouncing on his throat, finally savoring the blood he had dreamed of for years, ignoring San's desperate cries, the way he was trying his best to get free...

Wooyoung jolted awake, shocked. He noticed that his canines were out and, seeing that San, beside him, was waking up, he hurried to resume a completely human form. 

Vampires did not need to sleep, but they could do it. Since Wooyoung had started spending his time with San, he had started sleeping again after many years, falling into the boy's routine. However, he never dreamed. It was the first time in six years that this had happened to him. Why had he had such a dream?

San opened one eye. "Wooyoung...are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?"

"...Yes."

San grabbed him, pulling him against his chest. "Come here. Think of something else."

Wooyoung found himself momentarily shocked by that close contact, especially after the dream he had had. However, in no time, he felt extremely relaxed. San had that effect on him.

It was just a dream. It didn't mean anything. Nothing. 

However, Wooyoung decided not to try to fall back asleep. He did not want to risk dreaming of that frightening scene again. The next morning, San stretched under him. Wooyoung immediately moved away.

“Sanie… did you sleep well?"

"Yes. What about you? Were you able to fall back asleep?"

"Yes."

After a moment's hesitation, San resumed speaking. "May I ask what you dreamed of? It was the first time you trashed in your sleep since I've known you."

"I...dreamed of you. That… I was doing something bad to you."

San looked at him in amazement, then laughed. "Impossible."

Wooyoung wished it was impossible. 

"I'll walk you to work today."

"You don't have to, I'll see you tonight."

“I like accompanying you, please indulge me." 

“What’s gotten into you these days?” Seeing his expression that would not allow compromises, San gave up. “All right, then. Thank you."

The truth was that he had not taken Hongjoong and Yeosang's warning lightly. He was determined to protect San until they figured out what intentions the newcomer vampires had.

That evening, as he was on his way to pick up San at the shop, he noticed something. Someone was following him. He turned around sharply, nailing his pursuer to the wall with superhuman speed. It was a vampire, just as Hongjoong and Yeosang had said. The unknown vampire wriggled out of his grasp. He did not look like he was about to attack.

"Who the hell are you? Why are you following me and my companions?"

“My name is Seonghwa. I just arrived in town with my family. I didn't want to scare you, I followed you just because we wanted to see what kind of people you were."

"Oh, really? And what conclusion did you come up to?"

"...You are odd. I saw that you don't kill humans. I had never seen vampires like you. Who is the human who is always with you? Is he your personal blood supply?"

Wooyoung saw red and decided to ignore the question. "Exactly how long have you been following us?"

"For several weeks. I don't think your lifestyle is very good for you if you have only now realized you were being followed."

Wooyoung did not know whether to interpret that sentence as a threat, but he was already late. San had already finished working.

"Stay away from us and our area. We can't stop you from moving into town, but you don’t try to make a mess. If you draw attention and expose us all, we won't be so tolerant."

With that said, he turned and resumed walking toward the shop. He felt tremendously uneasy. How had he not realized he was being stalked for several days? Had San blinded him so much? Probably. He did not understand what the intentions of that vampire and his group were, but perhaps he should have taken San out of town? Just as a precaution?

As he walked quickly, he was so absorbed in his own thoughts that he hardly noticed the smell of the sweetest blood in the world. However, as soon as he smelled it, he froze. He turned his head. It was coming from a side alley off the main road that connected the flower shop and San's house.

Wooyoung should have run to check it out, but for some reason, he was petrified. It was all wrong. San would have waited for him at the shop. He would not have jumped into some alley without him. Right? He forced himself to move his legs and go toward the source of that heavenly scent. 

Then he saw him. 

San. He was motionless on the ground in a pool of blood.

No. No. No no no no no no no no no. 

It couldn't be. Wooyoung had been only five minutes late. San was waiting for him at the shop.

He forced himself to approach that body. San's beautiful face was covered with bruises. All that blood was coming out of his cracked skull. 

Wooyoung fell to his knees. He would have rather burned himself alive than see something like that. San was... dead? 

Such a thing was not even conceivable. It was not possible. San still had to grow up, one day grow old, be happy and infect the world with his good heart. 

Wooyoung opened his mouth to call his name, but a piercing cry came out. He burst into tears. It made no sense that he was forced to live and San, the one person he had sworn to protect, was dead.

He collapsed onto his chest. It could not be. It couldn't.

Then he felt it. His heart. A very faint little beat, so faint that he had not been able to hear it until he had laid his head on his chest. San was not dead yet.

Wooyoung snapped up. He was not dead. He was not dead. He was dying, though. He was going to die. Without a doubt. Even if he had taken him at the speed of light to the hospital he would not have been saved. Probably, if Wooyoung had moved his split skull from the concrete, he would have died instantly.

Wooyoung had no time to think. He did the only thing he could do at that moment.

He lowered himself onto him, biting his tender throat. All this frighteningly reminded him of the nightmare he had had that night. However, instead of sucking, he infused him with as much poison as he could, praying that it would work. It was the first time in his life that he tried to turn someone. He only knew how to do it in theory. 

It had to work. It had to. It was impossible for San to leave him. Wooyoung continued to infuse him with poison, biting his arms, his neck in several spots, his shoulders. Then he waited, his head throbbing. He kept his hand on San's chest, checking that he was still with him. At one point, his heart stopped beating.

Wooyoung was about to rip his own heart out of his chest with his hands; he could not have failed. He could not be so useless that he had failed at the most important thing he had found himself doing in 226 years.

Then he saw San's bruises pale imperceptibly. The more minutes passed, the more those bruises gave way to his milky-white skin. Had it worked? Wooyoung waited almost an hour before trying to move him. The wounds were healing slowly; he was still afraid to touch his head. Then he dared to turn his chin a few inches to check. There was no mangled flesh and brains. Only his hair soiled with the blood he was lying on.

Wooyoung felt a rush of adrenaline. He had saved him. He had really saved him, after failing spectacularly. San was dead, but at the same time he was still there, with him. 

Wooyoung took him in his arms, running at top speed to the lair.

As soon as he walked through the door, Hongjoong and Yeosang looked at him bewildered and stunned.

"San?! What happened to him! Is he-" then Hongjoong sniffed the air. The blood he smelled was dry. It was not the pulsing, warm blood that distinguished a living human being.

"You turned him?!" Yeosang was shocked.

"I had to, now get out of the way," he said, shrugging them off to take San to his room. As soon as he laid him on the bed, he realized what he had done.

He threw himself to the floor, pulling his hair out. How could he have been so selfish! 

For two hundred years he had dreamed of dying and not having to be imprisoned in that body, forced to survive by committing atrocities, but now he had forced San to find himself in the same situation? Just because he could not bear to lose him?

How could his perfect, sensitive San adapt to such a life? It totally conflicted with his nature. He would have had to give himself up in order not to suffer. How could Wooyoung have done this to him and taken away his chance to die in peace?

He was a deplorable and disgusting monster. And because of him, San would become like him.

Chapter Text

San jerked awake. What happened? Hadn't he just left work? Where on earth was he?

He realized he was on a bed. But it was not his bed. He had never been in that dark, ragged room in his life. He was terrified. What happened? Why did he not remember anything? Why couldn't he move? Had he been drugged and kidnapped? 

He was totally panicked. Then the door of the room opened. Wooyoung. Wooyoung. It was him. As soon as Wooyoung saw that he was awake, he closed the door suddenly, throwing himself on his chest, holding him and bursting into tears. 

"You're awake. You're really awake."

San still did not understand what was happening. He had never seen Wooyoung in that state. The tremendous relief he had felt at seeing him gave again way to fear. 

He tried to call his name. He could not. It felt like a red-hot poker had been shoved down his throat. His throat was burning like never before in his life. He felt an indescribable thirst. If he had eaten sand he would have been less thirsty than that. Tears came to his eyes. What was happening to him?

Wooyoung, hearing him gasp, rose from his body. San continued unsuccessfully trying to utter words. His Wooyoung was looking at him with a desperate look that was frightening him more than anything else.

He began to stroke his hair. "I know it hurts. Calm down. I'll help you."

With that said, Wooyoung moved closer to him as he had never done in his life, bringing his neck to San’s lips. San felt a strange sensation and turned his head away. With difficulty he lifted one hand, bringing it to his own mouth, feeling his lips and teeth. He almost had a heart attack. His canines felt like two razors. Was he dreaming? What did it all mean?

Wooyoung pushed his hand away from his mouth, holding his wrist, moving closer to him again. "Don't think, San. Follow your instincts."

What did he mean by that? What was he supposed to do? He felt like crying.

Wooyoung grabbed the back of his neck with his free hand, forcing him to lift his head and place his lips on his neck. What was he doing? 

"Bite here. Come on, don't be afraid. Bite me. You'll feel better."

San tried to fight back, but Wooyoung held him down with surprising strength. San hesitantly opened his mouth against his throat. His sharp canines scratched Wooyoung’s skin, and San felt a drop of blood against his tongue. At that point he completely lost control of himself.

He grabbed Wooyoung in turn, sinking his teeth into his throat, sucking desperately. He had never tasted anything like this. It was an indescribable feeling. He had never felt so euphoric in his life. The more he sucked, the stronger he felt, the pain in his throat disappeared, his mind became clearer. He had never felt better in his life.

After an indefinite time, he felt Wooyoung trying to resist him. San held him tighter. He could not stop, he needed to keep drinking.

"San...stop now. That's enough," he heard him say in a choked, pained voice.

Only then did San realize what he was doing. He felt himself chilling. He immediately pulled his mouth away from Wooyoung's throat. A gush of blood splashed into his face, startling him. What had he done?

He felt tears streaming down his face. What had he done to Wooyoung? How could he have hurt the love of his life? Was he some kind of depraved psychopath? What had he done?

He began to tremble. He was soaked in Wooyoung's blood. It was in his mouth. He wanted to thrown up. But why couldn't he? Why didn't he feel disgusted? What was going on?

Wooyoung began to caress his bloody face. “Good boy, you did so well. You managed to stop yourself. I knew you were special."

He did well? Had Wooyoung gone insane? He felt like he was living a nightmare. 

Then Wooyoung lowered himself onto him, clashing his mouth over his. He had already wondered about this at least a hundred times in those few minutes, but — what was going on? Wooyoung was kissing him. He had spent six years wishing he would, but now it was all wrong. He was kissing him desperately, ravenously, not like him. He was kissing him even though San was drenched in his blood. He was forcing his mouth wide open, licking his lips, his tongue, his teeth, exchanging blood, saliva, tears. 

All this was too much for him. He burst into tears. Finally Wooyoung broke away from him.

"I just pray one day that you can forgive me for what I did to you," Wooyoung said through tears. "Get some sleep, when you wake up I will tell you everything." 

San didn't need to be told twice. Nothing had upset him as much in his life as those few moments. He just wanted to sleep and, when he woke up, find that it had all been a dream. He plunged into darkness in a few moments.

***

Wooyoung, as soon as San had fallen asleep, kissed his forehead. He looked at San's face, covered in blood, unconscious beside him. 

How had they gotten to that point? How was it possible that Wooyoung, in all of his long life, had vowed to protect only one person and had failed to do so? He could not wrap his mind around it. 

How was it possible that even the pure heart of the one person who had restored his faith in humanity was now as tainted as his own?

He laid a hand on San’s hair, gently stroking the raven locks. He did not know whether to hope he would wake up soon or not. He did not know how to explain him what he had done to him. 

If he thought back to how it all started, he felt like crying. The others were right. He should have left him alone from the beginning, he should have not gotten involved, he should have ignored him as he did with everyone else.

Now San's life was ruined, and it was all his fault.

He forced himself to get up. He had to clean himself up, give some explanation to the other two vampires waiting for him in the living room and, most importantly, clean San from the blood before he woke up. He did not want him to become even more upset.

He quickly rinsed his face and neck with cold water. That was enough for now. He went to the living room.

His two companions snapped to their feet. 

"How is he?!"

"Is he awake?"

Wooyoung nodded. “He's...okay? I guess. As okay as he can be."

"Do you mind telling us what the hell happened?"

Wooyoung sighed, sitting up. He really didn't feel like reliving everything by telling what had happened. But he couldn't avoid explaining everything to Hongjoong and Yeosang.

"...Earlier...when I went to pick up San from work...I was late. It was only five minutes, but it was enough. I found him in an alley with his skull cracked. He was practically more dead than alive. I... couldn't help turning him. At that moment... the thought of being without him... was unbearable. I didn't even know if it would work, I—”

Yeosang interrupted him. "You did the right thing. You should have done it long ago."

Wooyoung shook his head. He had not done the right thing at all.

Hongjoong sighed. "Well, what's done is done. He's part of the family now. We'll have to be very careful with him; he won’t be easy to control at first. We can't let him leave a trail of corpses leading straight to us."

"I don't think he will," Wooyoung intervened. "San is not ordinary. I made him drink from me first," he ignored the shocked expressions of the other two, continuing. "I didn't want him to be too hungry the first time he fed on a human. I didn't want him to do something he would regret once he was satiated. Anyway... he was able to stop by himself. I didn't have to stop him by force. I think he will... make it."

Hongjoong and Yeosang looked at him open-mouthed. 

"Now excuse me, I have to clean him up before he wakes up, or he will freak out waking up covered in blood. I have no idea how to explain to him what he has become..." 

With that said, he walked wearily to the bathroom, filling a basin with warm water, grabbing some sponges and a few towels.

***

San awoke after a few hours. As soon as he had opened his eyes, he assimilated the images around him. Wooyoung was sitting beside the bed; they were still in that horrible room. He wanted to cry.

"Sanie, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

“Wooyoung — where are we? What's going on?"

"We are at my house. This is my room."

San looked around. Was that dusty, decaying place Wooyoung's room?

"I know it's not much — but you can make all the changes you want. It's your home now, too."

"Wooyoung, will you tell me what the hell is going on?

"I-I just don't know where to start — I’m not the person I told you I was. I've been lying to you all these years. The truth may be hard for you to accept, or maybe not, I don't know, but... I am 226 years old. I am... a vampire."

San would have laughed, if too many puzzling and impossible things had not already happened that day. Wooyoung, to prove what he had just said, let his canines out. His eyes turned pitch black. San felt on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He was unable to utter a word.

"I know you must be afraid now. But I want to say that I never intended to harm you or hurt you."

"So it was all a lie?" were all those years together, all those precious and unforgettable moments, a lie?

"No. Just this. I should have stayed away from you. But I couldn't, San. I love you. I need you and I'm damn selfish. I swore to myself over the years to accompany you through your life, to protect you, without interfering. But today, when I came to pick you up after work... I found you in that alley... you were dying," Wooyoung began to cry. San was simply speechless. He did not remember any of it. It seemed to him that Wooyoung was telling him a novel, not the events of the day. 

"I couldn't let you go. Do you understand that? I-I turned you. Now you're a vampire too. Please forgive me. I did it to save you."

San's ears were ringing. 

"I don't understand what you are saying, Wooyoung. What do you mean I'm a vampire? So it really happened? I...really bit you? Wasn't that a nightmare?"

"Yes, it really happened. But don't worry. I'll explain to you how to handle it."

"Wooyoung, I'm feeling sick. Please take me home. I don't want to be here. You're scaring me."

Wooyoung looked at him with a pain-filled expression. "You can't go home, San. You can't go home ever again."

"...What do you mean?"

"Choi San died in an alley today. Your human life is over, do you understand? They will give you up as missing, then declare you dead. That's the way it has to be. Dead people don't go back to their rented apartment, they don't retrieve their things from their drawers. You have to leave all that behind."

"Stop, Wooyoung. I don't understand. I am not dead. I am alive. I am here."

Wooyoung took his hand, guiding it until it rested on his chest. 

"Do you feel anything?"

"...No."

"Indeed. Your heart has stopped. You are...dead."

San was speechless. "But...my parents?"

"I'm so sorry, baby."

San burst into tears. "I don't understand, Wooyoung. Even if I am no longer human, why can't I at least say goodbye to them? Please, how can you force me to do this to them?"

"Because you would kill them, San. We vampires eat humans. It’s nature. Besides, I told you I am 226 years old. I will remain like this forever, even in a thousand years. You will also remain forever imprisoned in your 20-year-old body. Let’s suppose you manage to control your instincts… You would want to see them more and more. You would not settle with a goodbye. How are you going to explain why you don't age?"

"Wooyoung, I would never kill my parents. I could tell them the truth, which is better than abandoning them. You have stood by me for years even though you are a vampire."

"Trust me, you don't know what you are saying. I have stood by you after two hundred years of experience in controlling my instincts. Even so, at times, I would have ripped your throat out. Even though I love you. Believe me, you would kill them sooner or later. Let me at least spare you this pain."

San was shaken by violent sobs. "Does that mean I won't be able to get close to anyone without hurting them?"

"That's right, for the first years. I'll help you learn to control yourself, but it's not easy. Humans are your food now."

San could not accept such a thing. It was too much. He would have liked to disappear into thin air. Wooyoung, his cheeks streaked with tears, moved next to him, taking his hands.

“San — I need to know something. Now that you know the truth...what would you have preferred? To continue living like this, or to really die?"

San looked into his eyes. They were the eyes of the person he loved, but at that moment he felt like a stranger. He knew what he wanted to hear, but he could not lie to him.

"I... would have rather died."

Chapter Text

San had cried himself dry throughout the night. Since he had found out what he had become, what had happened, he still had not been able to get out of Wooyoung's bed. The latter had been standing in the corner of the room the whole time, neither able to approach him nor leave him alone.

"San...do you want to try to get up?" he said after he had stopped crying for a few hours, exhausted. "Do you want to see the others? Take a shower?"

Right. Apparently Wooyoung had washed his face from his blood, but his hair was still encrusted with the blood from when someone had supposedly slammed his head so hard on the wall that he had smashed it. A shower would have made him feel a little bit better.

Then he realized something. "The others?"

"Hongjoong and Yeosang. They are not really my brothers. At least, not by blood. Me and Hongjoong have known each other almost all our lives, then Yeosang started living with us about a hundred years ago. We've been looking out for each other ever since, we're sort of a... clan. Or family. Call it whatever you want. I mean, you're part of it now."

Right. He should have expected that. Those two had always seemed strange to him, had always made him feel uneasy. Now he understood why.

"...I would like to take a shower."

He got out of bed. His body felt different to him. He felt strong, more than usual, but at the same time a burning sensation in his throat haunted him, and looking at the glimmers of light outside the window gave him the impression that he had stuck a needle in his eyes.

Noting his pained expression, Wooyoung hastened to explain. "The light is not very good for us. Don't worry, it's a matter of habit. Soon you'll be able to go out during the day almost normally."

San nodded absently. Of all the things he had heard, this was the least upsetting.

As soon as they left the room, San noticed that the rest of the house was also gloomy, dirty, and battered. He sighed.

"I'll show you around," Wooyoung said, taking him by the arm. San did not know whether to tell him not to touch him or ask him to hold him.

"Those two are the rooms of Hongjoong and Yeosang. Don't go in there if not invited. We all value privacy. That's the bathroom over there. Only the living room is missing, come with me."

"What about the kitchen?"

"...There isn't one. We don't cook."

"Right..."

As soon as they entered the living room, San saw the other two stand up abruptly.

He instinctively took a step back.

"Hi San, has Wooyoung explained everything to you yet? How are you feeling?" asked Hongjoong.

"...I don't know."

"I see...You'll see that everything will become clearer to you as time goes by. It's not as bad as it seems. You can count on all of us, not just Wooyoung. We are a family now."

San nodded, unconvinced. 

Yeosang intervened. "Are you thirsty? Usually the first thing you do is go hunting, but Wooyoung told us that you have already drunk-"

"Yeosang-" tried to interrupt Wooyoung.

"Hunting?" said San at the same time.

Yeosang nodded, "To feed."

San's head was spinning. "Excuse me, I'm going to take a shower..."

Wooyoung instinctively made to follow, but San quickly stopped him. "No. I need a moment alone."

San walked slowly toward the bathroom. He heard the three continue talking.

"He doesn't seem to have accepted this very well."

"Give him time, guys. It's not easy for him.”

San finally closed the bathroom door behind him. He quickly undressed, slinging himself under the jet of warm water.

He began to rub his body carefully, until the water became clear instead of red. Then he sat down, putting his head between his knees, resuming crying for the umpteenth time. Was his life going to be like this from now on?

He wouldn’t have worked at the flower shop anymore, he wouldn’t have grown up, he wouldn’t have gotten married, he would have never seen his parents again, he would have had to attack people to eat, he would have never been able to look directly at the sun again — it was all too unfair. His life had changed too much in a single day.

He did not know how long he had been in the shower, but at some point he heard a knock at the door.

“San — it’s me. I brought you some clean clothes. Can I come in?"

Wooyoung. The one firm point that was like a bridge between life before today, and life since today. The one person he had always considered indispensable was also the only one he had left.

"...Come in."

Wooyoung entered the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He laid the clean clothes on a shelf.

"You'll have to use my clothes for now, sorry. We'll buy you new ones soon, okay?"

"Don't worry."

Finally, Wooyoung turned to look at him. He walked over to him, turned off the water and wrapped him in a soft cotton towel. Then he grabbed him by the shoulders, looking straight into his eyes.

"Listen to me carefully, San. I'm sorry to have put you in this situation. You don't know how much. But I promise you one thing. I will make sure that you can be happy even in this life, okay? I'll teach you everything I know, I'll make sure you don't kill anyone. We'll fix up this lousy place, if you like. Or we'll find another one. There are also positive aspects. I'll show you the full potential of this new life. So please don't hate me, give me a chance."

San smiled faintly. "...You know I am not capable of hating you…"

Wooyoung hesitated for a moment, but then moved closer to him, stopping incredibly close to his lips. San stiffened. The kiss they shared a few hours earlier had been unsettling. But then, when Wooyoung closed the distance between them, it was nothing like the previous kiss. It was gentle and reassuring. Like the Wooyoung he had always loved.

That night they went to bed in each other's arms. Wooyoung had explained to him that technically they didn’t need to sleep, but it felt strange to San to deprive himself of even that basic habit.

Nevertheless, he could not relax as he felt an indescribable and painful thirst. Not like when he had just woken up after the transformation, but unbearable nonetheless.

"Wooyoung...I don't feel very well. I'm so thirsty."

"I know. Tomorrow I will be forced to take you hunting. I promise I'll keep you from killing anyone."

“...Can’t I drink from you? You can't die, right?"

"No, I can't die. Yesterday, however, I stopped you because I was on the verge of unconsciousness. You would have knocked me out for several hours if you had drained me."

San nodded. "Then I will stop sooner next time, but I don't want to attack a person. Please let me try again."

"You can drink from me as many times as you want, but it won't be enough. In fact, I wasn't even sure it could be done. I don't know any vampires who feed on other vampires. So don't try it with Hongjoong and Yeosang. And above all, don't let anyone do it with you."

"Then why did you tell me to do it to you if you had never done it and didn't even know if it would have fed me?"

"I don't know — instinct, I guess. I just wanted you to get better. It came natural to me. The others called me crazy for telling you to do it. It felt very... intimate, don’t you think? I would never let anyone else do it. How did you feel doing it?"

San shuddered at the thought, feeling a mixture of pleasure and horror. 

"...At first I was afraid, I was horrified. But then... it was incredible. Even now, a part of me would like to do it again. Don't you think we could just feed like this? Me on you and you on me?"

Wooyoung moved a bit from the embrace. "I could never feed on you. I spent six years preventing myself from doing so when you were human, and I won't start now that you are a vampire. I can't. I can't hurt you."

"So did I hurt you?"

“Actually — it’s hard to describe. I-I kind of liked it... but I won’t do it to you."

San sighed. He wasn't going to get anything from him that night. Wooyoung had always been overprotective of him, bordering on insanity.

"All right. Let's say it's just me doing it. I still don't understand why it wouldn't be enough."

"Because the blood of an undead is not the same as that of a living being, San. To explain with a human example, if you ate only apples all your life, you would fill your belly, you would feed, but you would lack protein, fat, calcium — you need all these things to live. Do you understand better now?"

"...I think so. But if we are immortal, why can't we just not eat? We wouldn’t die anyway, or would we?"

Wooyoung grimaced. "No...we wouldn't die...but do you remember how you felt when you woke up?"

San shivered, "Like I was on fire."

"You would feel like that for all eternity. You would end up going crazy. Then you would kill any living thing that came within your reach."

"...I get it."

Wooyoung leaned over him, kissing him. Since San had allowed him to do so a few hours earlier in the bathroom, he seemed to have taken a liking to it. Not that he minded. 

He wrapped his arms around his neck, opening his mouth to invite him to deepen the kiss. He needed to think about something other than the searing burn he felt in his throat. 

Chapter Text

The next morning, at dawn, San slowly dressed in Wooyoung's clothes. Today he would be forced to go hunting for the first time. He would have liked to postpone that moment as long as possible.

"Come on, let's go before the streets start getting crowded," Wooyoung urged him.

"I'm coming."

San put on some sunglasses with the darkest lens he had ever seen and followed Wooyoung out of the house with hesitant steps. 

"Listen, do I... what should I do when we find... a person? Should I approach them in some particular way? I feel uncomfortable."

Wooyoung chuckled. "I'm afraid it will be a miracle today if you don't jump on them as soon as you smell them from ten feet away."

San swallowed. It seemed impossible for him to do such a thing. Then he understood. 

There was a woman. He still could not see her but he could smell her. She wore a too strong and cheap perfume, but fortunately it was not intense enough to cover the smell of her blood. He had never felt such an attraction. 

His legs moved on their own. He began to run as he had never done in his life. It felt like he was fast-forwarding through a movie and in no time he was in front of her.

The girl was obviously a prostitute. When she saw him coming she did not have the time to scream because San was already latched onto her throat, clutching her with his arms to keep her from moving.

Her blood caused him an indescribable adrenaline rush; it was even better than Wooyoung's blood. It was an immense pleasure he would have never wanted to feel. He could not stop, his mind was totally clouded. Then he felt two arms hold him in turn and felt himself being torn from the girl's body.

Seeing a trickle of blood down her neck, he immediately got up to go back to what he was doing, but Wooyoung blocked him, slamming him hard against the wall to stun him and then pulling him far away from the woman.

"STOP! THAT’S ENOUGH!"

Only when he was further enough was he able to come to his senses. The woman was looking at him with a terrified and distraught expression. Her face was streaked with tears and she had not yet escaped only because she had lost so much blood that she was on the verge of fainting.

Had he been the one to reduce her like this...?

When Wooyoung saw him come back to his senses he let him go, walking toward the girl with his hands raised in a reassuring manner. He knelt in front of her.

"I don't want to hurt you, I want to help you."

The girl continued to sob, but she did not run away. After all, Wooyoung was the one who had saved her from the psychopathic maniac who had suddenly attacked her.

Wooyoung handed her a handkerchief, helping her wipe away her tears and dab the wound.

"Don't be afraid. Nothing serious happened. Your last customer was really a pervert, he even bit the hell out of you. Nothing that a nice hot shower and some rest can't make you forget. Am I right?"

San saw the woman instantly stop crying and freeze. 

"...Indeed. These days men are more and more sick in the head."

With that said, the woman got back on her feet as if nothing had happened, walking away with a shaky step.

San was bewildered. What had he just witnessed? Wooyoung was beside him in less than a second.

"How do you feel?"

"What did you do to her?"

"I manipulated her memories a little. We can't have someone running around telling people about us, can we?"

"Is it possible to do such a thing? Can I do that too?”

"Right now I don't think you would be able to. It's very complex and dangerous. Come on, get up."

San got back on his feet. Wooyoung handed him a handkerchief too to clean himself up. He could still feel the adrenaline flowing. When, however, he lowered the blood-soaked handkerchief, he realized something. Without Wooyoung, he would not have stopped. That woman would have died, and he would have been the one to kill her. 

Part of him had been convinced that he would have been able to control himself. It seemed so impossible for him to harm another living being...and instead he had been on the verge of ending a poor woman's life.

"Hey, are you okay?"

San wiped away a tear that had escaped him. 

"I wasn't going to stop, was I?"

"No."

"Can we go home?"

"Sure."

Wooyoung encircled his shoulders with an arm and then lifted the hood over his head. Evidently he had not managed to clean his face as well as he thought. 

"...Wooyoung...how soon do I have to do this again?"

"We hunt once a day, usually."

San chilled. He had the impression that his heart was running in his chest, even though Wooyoung had already explained to him that it was actually still since his human life had come to an end.

"Once a day?! No no no. I refuse. I can't. I don't want to do this anymore."

"Hey, take it easy. You'll learn to stop by yourself eventually. To do it in a... cleaner way. Give yourself time."

"I don't want to."

Wooyoung sighed, but said nothing more. San wondered how much it hurt him to see him in that state. Ever since Wooyoung had explained him how he had always felt about him all those years, how he felt like a failure for not being able to protect him, San had tried not to put even more weigh on his shoulders. He could not pretend not to be upset, but he had tried to be more open and bite his tongue when he was on the verge of saying things like “I would have preferred death."

But right now he just couldn't pretend to be happy. He looked at Wooyoung's beautiful profile. He had always found him so charming. He had a slightly aquiline nose, but somehow it gave him a sophisticated air. The pronounced jawline, that untamed dark hair. Wooyoung was the one thing that did not make him crumble at the idea of living forever.

Noticing that San was staring at him, Wooyoung raised an eyebrow. 

"What?

"I love you Wooyoung. You know that, right?"

"You shouldn't."

"Now will you let me tell you that I want to be with you forever?"

Wooyoung gave a hint of a smile. "'Forever' is a word well suited to an immortal. But I don't know if your bracelet will last that long," he said, lifting his wrist with the colorful woven bracelet tied to it.

It was San's turn to smile. "The real miracle is that it is still here among us after three years."

After a moment, something occurred to San. "Wooyoung, didn't you say you hunt once a day? Well, we are hunting, right? Don’t you... eat?"

"...I don't feel like doing it in front of you. I'll go tonight with the others."

San did not answer, secretly grateful. He would have loved to tell him that he didn't have to protect him, that Wooyoung could be himself in front of him, as San had just done… but the truth was that at the moment he didn't feel ready to see his Wooyoung, whom he had spent a lifetime idolising and adoring, mauling an innocent person like an animal. Doing it was terrible, but in the process you didn't realize what you were doing. Seeing it from the outside — San still didn't feel like it.

As soon as they arrived home, San made to rush to his room. He wanted to curl up under the covers and try to forget what had just happened, but he did not have time to open the door that he felt himself being grabbed by the hood of his sweatshirt.

"Where are you going in such a hurry? You need to stop locking yourself up in Wooyoung's room, feeling sorry for yourself. Hongjoong and I welcomed you into our home and you still haven't spared us a look."

"Yeosang!" Wooyoung looked scandalized by the straightforwardness of his companion.

San turned around slowly. That Yeosang was really edgy, he could tell right away. But he was also quite direct and sincere. San had never thought about how that situation might be from the other two vampires' point of view.

"...You're right. I'm sorry."

"Come on, come to the living room. Let's get to know each other a little better. We have a long eternity to spend together."

San felt a little dizzy, but followed him. However, as soon as Yeosang saw Wooyoung in tow, he stopped.

"No, no, no. You go for a walk or something. I want to get to know my new little brother without his guard dog growling at me every two seconds," having said this he grabbed San's wrist and dragged him to the sofa. San turned to see a stunned and slightly upset Wooyoung walk into his room.

"So," Yeosang said, drawing his attention. "Little boy. All anyone has talked about in this house for the last six years was you. Wooyoung has always described you as an angel of benevolence and mercy, but if I may be honest, you seem a bit grumpy to me."

"I... I'm sorry I treated you harshly... honestly I'm still upset about what happened to me."

"How did the first hunt go?"

"Actually not very well. I imagined it differently. I thought I could keep the situation under control. If Wooyoung hadn't been there, I probably would have killed a person. I feel demoralized. But I guess it's hard for everyone at first, right? I mean, accepting that you have to hurt someone."

Yeosang got closer him as if to inspect him. San made an effort not to retreat. 

"Wooyoung is right. You are very weird. Usually, a new vampire hunts as soon as he opens his eyes. I've never heard of someone procrastinating for two days. You should know that usually vampires are uncontrollable, especially in the early years. They are caught up in an indescribable euphoria. Their moral code, their feelings, are completely supplanted by thirst. Only after many years one can learn to restrain oneself."

San frowned. "Really? I don't feel that way. For you...was it like that?"

Yeosang nodded. "I was not a pretty sight. None of us were — not even your Wooyoung, from what Hongjoong told me. They met before I became a vampire. I was turned by Hongjoong 98 years ago. Anyway, both Wooyoung, Hongjoong and I killed people who were part of our lives when we were human, but we were so high on blood that we didn't grieve until much later.”

Now San understood why Wooyoung was keeping him from seeing his parents.

"So Wooyoung — he was also, how should I say—”

"Yes. He was a murderer. If I can tell you a secret, he stopped killing his preys only after he met you. He did it for you. Then he practically forced us to do the same."

San felt mixed emotions inside. So Wooyoung had already killed, probably thousands of people, and had stopped only a few years earlier? He would have liked to be indifferent to it, but frankly, it was hard. But at the same time... Wooyoung had redeemed himself... because of him? He felt like a squeeze in his heart.

At that moment, Hongjoong opened the door. He looked astonished for a moment to see the strange pair on the sofa, but recovered quickly.

"Hello Yeosang, hello San. How are you?"

"Fine. The brat just returned from his first hunt."

"How did it go?"

"I would say very well," Yeosang interrupted him before San could respond. 

Hongjoong nodded, satisfied. "Oh, San, before I forget about it, Wooyoung told me that you need clothes and things like that. Here," he said, handing him a credit card. "Buy anything you want."

San felt surprised and took the card hesitantly. "T-Thank you. May I ask you a question? How do you people...make a living? Does the phantom family business Wooyoung supposedly works at really exists?"

The two vampires burst out laughing. Hongjoong answered. "Wooyoung has never lifted a finger in the last fifty years and this punk even less," he said, givingYeosang a slap on the back of his head. "But, in fact, I own several nightclubs. We get money this way. We may be immortal, but as you may have noticed, we have to pay rent and dress like everyone else."

"I-I understand. I thought you manipulated people's minds to get what you wanted  — I saw Wooyoung doing it."

Hongjoong became serious. "That is a delicate matter. Mental manipulation is not simple at all and should only be done if it’s strictly necessary. Only Wooyoung and I have enough experience to do it. I hope he told you not to try it."

San hastened to nod. 

"Good boy."

"Now excuse me, I'm going to check on Wooyoung," after finding out so many new details about him he felt the need to be near him. 

As soon as he opened the door to the room, he was stunned.

Wooyoung was intent on dusting and filling a plastic bag with stuff, all at superhuman speed. As soon as he noticed him, he sighed.

"...I still have to get used to this. To not smelling your blood approaching from miles away."

"What are you doing?"

San could have sworn Wooyoung was embarrassed.

"You seemed to hate this place. How can I blame you… I’m cleaning up. I'm even throwing out some old junk to make room for your things. You don't deserve to live in a dusty hole."

San felt his heart clench. "Come here."

Wooyoung approached him guardedly. San hugged him, holding him as warmly and affectionately as he could. 

"You don't deserve to live in a dusty hole either. You do know that, don't you?"

He heard Wooyoung shrug his shoulders, unconvinced. 

San decided to lighten the mood. "Hongjoong gave me his credit card. Shall we do some shopping?"

Wooyoung laughed, breaking away from the embrace to take his laptop. "I'm afraid it would be premature for you to go shopping among all those people, but fortunately there is the Internet. Come here, let's pick out something nice."

San immediately sat cross-legged on the bed next to Wooyoung. They spent a couple of hours on the sites of the stores San went to most often, laughing and even buying some probably ridiculous things. 

For San it was a breath of fresh air, it felt like he was back to a few days before — before he found out that Wooyoung was an immortal murderer, before he died and became a monster, before he attacked a poor woman in an alley to drink her blood. For a few hours, he felt like the 20-year-old he had been, getting advice from his best friend for whom he’d had a lifelong crush on to choose how to dress. 

After a while, thought, Wooyoung became serious. “Sanie... I have something to tell you. Your mother called me. She told me that the police are about to declare you officially dead. Your blood and brains they found not far from your workplace leave little room for interpretation. They are still looking for your body, but soon your funeral will be held — I thought you should know."

In no time, San found himself catapulted back into his current miserable life.

"Ah. I see. Thank you for informing me."

Wooyoung nodded sadly. San did not have the strength to ask him how his parents were doing. The answer was painfully obvious.

Wooyoung laid a gentle hand on his cheek, but just then they heard a knock at the door.

"Wooyoung, are you coming hunting?"

Wooyoung was looking at him as if he wanted to tell him hundreds of things right then, then sighed, giving him a kiss on the forehead before joining the others.

"Coming!"

Chapter Text

A few days later, Wooyoung went again hunting with Yeosang and Hongjoong, looking for some unfortunate victim. Frankly, it was not easy for him to accompany San on his hunts without feeding himself. He was a vampire, he was not made of stone, and he was starving. Since San had become like them Wooyoung had devoted himself, body and soul, to him and had not been able to feed as often as he had always done. Moreover, he would have never admitted it, but since San had started feeding on him he had started feeling rather weak.

San still had never come hunting with them all. Yeosang insisted every day, but he refused. He actually hunted rarely, and only with Wooyoung. He had admirable willpower, as always. Anyway, Wooyoung did not mind for several reasons, including that he could take advantage of his absence to talk about certain matters.

"Guys, there's something I haven't told you about the day I found San in the alley."

The other two looked at him apprehensively.

"Do you remember I told you about being late that day? I was held up by one of the newly arrived vampires. He told me his name was Seonghwa. He revealed me that there is more of them and that they have been following us for some time now."

"And why didn't you think to tell us earlier?!” asked Hongjoong immediately, bewildered.

“Because I’ve being caught up with too much stuff and it came back to me just a few days ago. I also didn't want San to find out. He already has too many thoughts on his mind. The point is...I'm pretty sure they were the ones who killed him."

“What?!" exclaimed Yeosang.

"Think about it…By chance I get held up by one of them and when I manage to get to San I find him dying. It seems too weird for a coincidence. That Seonghwa also asked me strange questions about him. He had already set his eyes on him."

Hongjoong shook his head. "That doesn't seem very much in the style of a vampire, beating a boy to death. You didn't see any bite marks, did you?"

"No, but...it was probably done on purpose to throw us off...right before I found San in that state, he asked me if he was my personal blood supply...I don't know, the whole thing seemed like a provocation...as if to say that they are able to take what is ours, our city, our food. Guys, trust me, I'm pretty much sure they’re the one did it.”

Ever since Wooyoung had felt more clear-headed after all the San affair and that crucial detail had come back to him, he had been haunted by these theories, and by now he was sure he was right. 

Hongjoong nodded. "If that's really the case, the situation is very serious. What do you want to do, Wooyoung?"

"Get revenge, of course."

Wooyoung, besides resenting himself for failing to protect San, was haunted by a desire for revenge against those who had hurt him in the first place. He really wanted to make that individuals suffer and then kill them with his own hands. Moreover, if he was right, those vampires were a danger that had to be eliminated regardless. 

"We will help you. We can't act recklessly, though," Hongjoong said. "Right now we are at a clear disadvantage. They know everything about us, and we don't even know how many there are." 

"We should keep our eyes open and study them ourselves from now on," Yeosang said. "And we should also involve San. You have to stop trying to protect him from everything. He's one of us now, and besides, we are talking about his death here."

Wooyoung shook his head. "He's just a boy. He still doesn't accept what he is and would like more than anything to go back to his own home. How can I tell him that we will soon have to fight other vampires?"

“Isn’t it that perhaps you're afraid he would tell you to let it go because he doesn't care about revenge?"

Wooyoung chilled. Yeosang knew him too well after all those years. In fact, he knew that San was not the type to wish for bloodshed, even for such a reason. He would have said "what happened happened," or "we would only make it worse," or "retaliating won't change anything." 

But Wooyoung could not accept such a thing. He was going to rip out the heart of the monster who had snatched San's life with his own hands. It was a promise. Not even San could stop him.

Suddenly, he saw them. Two shady guys were skulking around, almost certainly the typical neighborhood drug dealers. The three vampires exchanged a glance, then attacked simultaneously.

As he drank their blood, Wooyoung wondered if it was really worth the effort to save the lives of even two such insignificant people. He was so hungry that sharing with Yeosang and Hongjoong just two people, without even draining them, would only make his hunger worse. 

Then he remembered why he had gone through all that trouble to learn to control himself for the past six years — for whom he had gone through all that trouble. He broke away from the young man with a sigh. 

He and Hongjoong erased the memories of the two boys, then the three vampires looked at each other. 

"I'm still hungry," Yeosang said, voicing everyone's thoughts.

"Me too," Hongjoong said. "Wooyoung, you are going to San's funeral tomorrow, right? Better eat a little more if you have to be crammed into a church with all those people."

Wooyoung didn't need to be told twice.

That night, he returned home feeling invigorated after so long. Eventually they had attacked another couple of small groups and, without killing anyone, had eaten until they couldn’t anymore. He had not felt this good in a long time.

That night he lay down in San's arms. He smelled different, had a different awareness of how cruel life could be — less innocent, less hopeful, less happy, but — he was San. The only reason it was worth staying in this horrible world.

Even though Wooyoung did not deserve to love him, now more than ever, after all he had done to him, the knowledge that San would never grow old and die, that he would spend eternity with him, had knocked down with a single blow the last bit of resolve with which Wooyoung had always rejected his love.

He was ashamed of himself for being so weak and selfish. Not only had he taken away San's chance to die, but he had also decided to have him for himself only when he was certain that San would have never left him.

He was ashamed, but he still could not stop himself when San kissed him at night and clung to him as he was doing right now.

Suddenly, San kissed him lower and lower until he reached his throat. After placing a few kisses there, he whispered, "May I?"

Wooyoung knew very well what he was referring to. After the first, traumatic experience, San had made up his mind to go after humans only when it was totally, absolutely necessary. This implied that he needed an alternative the rest of the days. If San had known how much this weakened Wooyoung, he surely would not have ventured to do so again. However, Wooyoung had not told him for two reasons.

The first reason was that he could not deny him anything. Especially not the hope that he had found the perfect solution to not becoming a horrible person.

The second reason...was that he craved feeling his teeth into his skin like nothing else.

"You don't have to ask, just do it."

San sank his teeth into his throat, holding him tight, moaning softly as he drank. Feeling his blood flowing between them, Wooyoung felt indescribable satisfaction that San was nourished and well because of him, finally. With each sip San took, he felt his head spinning more, but at the same time he felt like he was floating with the person he had sought for over two centuries clutched in his arms. It was an incredible feeling. He did not even mind the pain. The first time it had felt so natural, even though he did not know what he had been doing. Now, it was a pleasure he looked forward to every night.

San pulled away from him panting. He had learned to drink without creating a bloodbath; he only had a small trickle running down his chin. He had also learned to stop before Wooyoung began to feel sick.

Just when Wooyoung felt completely fulfilled to see him like this, and at the same time so tired that he could have fallen asleep instantly, San reversed their positions, bringing Wooyoung on top of his body.

He tilted his head back, baring his throat. Oh no. 

"San. We've already talked about this."

"Please drink my blood. I really want you to. I need it.”

"Why?"

"I don't know. Instinct. And also…”

"Also?"

"I really wish you would also try to drink less human blood, as I do. It makes me uncomfortable that you do it every day, having the possibility to easily not do it right before you."

Wooyoung almost laughed. "Easily, you say? Do you think it would be easy for me, drinking your blood? It would be like breaking a thousand taboos I've imposed on myself for years. I can't. I just don't feel like it, okay?"

San looked at him disappointed. Wooyoung could not stand that look.

"Ask me anything else and I will give it to you. But right now, I can't accommodate you on that."

"All right then," San said quickly, "Make love with me."

That kid wouldn't give him a second's rest!!!

This was another one of the things Wooyoung had not yet been able to do. It wasn't that he didn't desire San, he did, very much so, but watching him grow up, plus the knowledge that he was 206 years older than him was holding him back. He subconsciously felt like he was doing something wrong. He knew that San really wanted him and that he was technically an adult, but Wooyoung felt too dirty to taunt San in turn. He knew one day they would get there, but that day was not today.

Seeing him hesitate, San resumed kissing him. 

"I know you want both. Your body speaks volumes," he said as he brushed his canines, which had evidently stretched without him even noticing, and then brushed the skin over the elastic of his pants that compressed his desire. Wooyoung shuddered.

"You want my blood and you want my body, too. Allow yourself to be a little selfish and take it," San concluded.

Wooyoung froze. San had chosen the wrong words. 

"I have allowed myself far too much selfishness with you. I've allowed myself to stand by you when I shouldn't have, to force you to be with me forever. I don't think I deserve anything else."

San looked at him with a hurt expression, starting to squirm under him for Wooyoung to move away.

"It's always the same story with you. First I was just an ordinary guy in love with his best friend, now I'm a vampire in love with the one who lied to him for years and turned him — we’re both different people in my head, but the situation between us remains the same. Me begging you to accept my love, and you rejecting me."

With that said, he turned his back to him. Wooyoung sighed. How could he explain to him what he was feeling? San had made his point all too clear, but Wooyoung evidently had not yet been able to get his point across in turn.

Wooyoung hugged him from behind.

"Good night, San."

San did not reply.

"Please don't ignore me. Tomorrow is your funeral. I feel upset tonight. That's also why I don't want to make love with you for the first time today."

At this, San melted a little. After a moment, he turned in his arms, holding him in turn.

"I would like to go with you."

"That would be a little strange, wouldn't it? 'During a funeral, among the guests is the deceased.'"

San burst out laughing, followed by Wooyoung. 

"Oh my, it's crazy that you can even make me laugh about my own funeral...good night, Wooyoung."

"Good night, baby."

San bit him on the cheek. "I'm not a baby anymore.”

Chapter Text

Wooyoung wore his most elegant dark suit, looking at himself bitterly in the mirror. Even though San was right there beside him, on his bed, watching him get ready, dressing for his funeral had a certain effect on him.

"Well, I'll get going."

San nodded, tears in his eyes. "Give my parents a big hug for me."

"Of course..."

He left the room, leaving San sobbing quietly under the covers. It wasn’t easy for him, the thought that at the moment all the people he knew were preparing to mourn him, when he was only a few quarters away.

"Hey guys, leave San alone today, will you? I don't think he's going to come out of our room."

The two vampires, intent on playing a game of chess, nodded sadly. They had all been there.

When Wooyoung arrived at the church, he had a stomach ache. San's parents immediately went to meet him.

"Dear, we finally meet again.” San’s mother said with tearful eyes, squeezing warmly his arm. “How are you?"

"Not well, ma’am. You both know how much I cared for San... if I had arrived earlier that day... nothing would have happened, I’m so sorry.” he replied with a knot in his throat.

"Don't say that," San's father intervened. "You can't blame yourself for what happened to him. It could have happened to you or anyone else."

Wooyoung found himself shaking his head. Now that he had San’s parents right in front of him, the same people who had welcomed him into their home, always so warm and caring, he felt guiltier than ever.

"He's right," his mother said. "Don't blame it on yourself, son."

“Anyway, how are you?" asked Wooyoung to change the subject.

San's father wrapped an arm around his wife's shoulders. "Not good, boy. Not good. You know you're a second son to us, right? Don't disappear just because San is no longer with us."

Wooyoung wanted to burst into tears. Those two really did not deserve this suffering. Besides, Wooyoung would not have been able to stand by them, since they could have soon realized that he did not age.

"Thank you very much, really. Actually, after what happened, I don't feel like staying in town. Too many memories. I’ll leave soon. But if you ever need anything, anything at all, you have my number."

"The same goes for you, son.”

As the empty coffin paraded through the church, Wooyoung allowed himself to cry like everyone else. He knew that San was alive, in some way, but a part of him was dead forever.

In that moment, however, he convinced himself that he had made the right choice after all, turning him. Had his corpse been in that empty coffin, had he really died, Wooyoung would have ripped his heart out with his own hands.

He had found happiness, in that damned life, thanks to San, and he would have made sure that San would be happy too, that he would no longer wish that that cursed day had turned out differently.

***

A couple of hours after Wooyoung had left to go to the funeral, San couldn't take it anymore.

He dressed as quietly as he could and then slipped out the window, unbeknownst to Hongjoong and Yeosang.

He could not miss his last remaining chance to see, even from a distance, his family and all those who loved him. He had the right to say goodbye, too, to them, but also to himself.

He put on a heavy mask, hoping it would somehow muffle the scent of blood. Fortunately, he had been drinking from Wooyoung's the night before, so he did not feel hungry. He was convinced that by keeping his distance, he would not have hurt anyone.

He arrived just in time to see all those who had come to the funeral leaving the church in tears. He hid around the corner of a building so as not to be seen. 

There they were. He finally saw his parents. They were wrecked, as was to be expected. Wooyoung came out right after them, he too was crying hard and seemed to be trying to find the strength to stand on his feet. How come? He knew that he was not really dead, that he was waiting for him at home.

If San had been human, Wooyoung would have already realized that he had sneaked out and was about 20 meters away. Fortunately, he was still not as sensitive to his new scent, plus San was much quieter and more agile than he used to be.

Looking at his poor mom and dad, he was seized by the very strong instinct to show himself. He would have said something like, "Mom, Dad! I am here! I'm not dead! Don't cry anymore!" then they would have run toward him, to hug their beloved son and — he would have killed them.

He burst into tears, too. He had been wrong to come. Wooyoung was right. At the same time, he could not leave.

Just then, a voice surprised him from behind.

"Weren’t you human?"

San jumped. If his heart could have beaten, he would have had a heart attack. He turned to see a boy with platinum hair who must have been a few years older than him. He quickly covered his nose fearing he would smell him and attack him, but he quickly realized that — he had no particular smell. He was not human.

"...Have we already met?"

"I'm Seonghwa," said the newcomer, holding out his hand. San wiped his tear-soaked hand on his pants, then returned the shake. "I'm a vampire, too. Did Wooyoung turn you recently?"

"Are you a friend of his?"

"Not really. I only talked to him once. My family and I just moved into town and did some research on who lived here. Don't look at me like that, we came in peace, we just wanted to check that you wouldn't hurt us too."

San felt a little put off, but that vampire seemed sincere and for some reason had put him at ease right away.

"What is your name?" the vampire asked warmly.

"San."

The vampire nodded, smiling welcomingly and kindly. "Nice to meet you. You are definitely friendlier than your companions. So what are you doing here spying on that church?"

"...My funeral was just held.”

"Ah. I'm sorry. This is not a good moment. We've all been there," having said this he handed him a handkerchief. San, after a moment's hesitation, accepted it, wiping his eyes, embarrassed.

"How old are you, boy?"

"Twenty. You?"

"One hundred and sixty, I'm still a youngster," Seonghwa replied with an amused grin. "It's always a pleasure to meet other vampires. You in particular seem very special to me for a new vampire, you seem much less… aggressive than the norm. How about coming to meet the rest of my family? We'd like to get acquainted with your group, but this is the longest conversation I've been able to have with any of you."

San began to weigh his options. If he had followed Seonghwa and Wooyoung noticed he had left, he would have gotten angry. But Wooyoung couldn't stop him from going out; it wasn't like he was his father. Besides, this vampire really seemed like a nice guy, San strangely felt like he could trust him on instinct. There was nothing wrong with getting acquainted. Finally, he was desperate to distract himself after seeing his parents in that condition.

"All right."

That Seonghwa smiled charmingly at him, pointing the way. They walked further and further into the suburbs, choosing isolated alleys so as to avoid running into people. As soon as they were at the border separating the city from the forest, Seonghwa grabbed San's wrist.

"Now we run, try to keep up with me."

With that said, he began to run at an incredible speed, even faster than Hongjoong, dragging San behind, who wondered how it was possible for his own legs to roughly match that pace.

Then they came to a sudden stop in front of a small wooden house.

"Guys! Come out! We have a guest.”

San saw three vampires emerge from the dwelling. Unconsciously he felt scared, but then he remembered that he, too, was, in fact, a vampire.

A really handsome boy with an infectious smile was beside him in a second. "How do you do? I'm Yunho! We haven't talked to another vampire in...must it be about sixty years?"

"I'm San, nice to meet you."

"I'm Mingi," said a tall, cool guy with red highlights in his hair. 

"And I’m Jongho," concluded the third and final vampire. He had a gentle face but San could see even though he was wearing a heavy sweatshirt his bulging biceps.

"San has only recently transformed," Seonghwa explained. "He is from Hongjoong's group."

"Wait, I remember him!" said Mingi. "Wasn't he Wooyoung's human? How did you end up... like this?"

San felt himself flaming. "Actually...I think I was attacked. Wooyoung found me dying and turned me. I really don't remember anything about what happened though."

"You seem pretty sane for having been turned recently," Yunho commented. "The first few years… I was scary."

"...Wooyoung and the others help me a lot," San explained, without going into details. Although those vampires seemed harmless, he did not want to reveal too much about the others. He didn't know how they would take it. He still did not understand why these vampires knew everything about them and he did not even know they existed. 

"We have already eaten, otherwise we would have invited you to come hunt with us. Do you want to wrestle? We were about to train," Jongho proposed.

San thanked all the saints he knew that he had gotten away with it. He had no intention whatsoever of drinking from a human that day, but he would not have wanted to explain it to some strangers.

"Against you?" asked San as he looked at Jongho's muscles and the size of Yunho and Mingi. "I don't stand a chance."

"Human body strength has nothing to do with post-transformation strength. For example, among us the most fearsome is Seonghwa, would you have guessed? Come on, we don't bite... other vampires," Jongho said, laughing thunderously. 

San laughed, embarrassed and amused. "All right."

The others began to encourage and cheer him on. San positioned himself in front of Jongho. After studying each other for a moment, smiling, Jongho launched himself forward in an attempt to wrap his arms around him and crush him. San jumped back, dodging him, and then threw him a roundhouse kick he had learned in taekwondo. Jongho found himself in the air, only to crash into a tree.

San was shocked and mortified. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I didn't know I was so strong!"

Jongho did not seem offended at all, while the rest of the group burst out laughing, applauding him.

"What a blow, boy! Where did you learn?!" said Seonghwa.

"I've been doing martial arts for years...but I must say I've never sent anyone flying with a kick," said San, laughing in turn. 

"Keep it up, let's see if you can knock me out too!"

The vampires continued to fight and laugh throughout the afternoon. San hadn't felt this light in several days; he felt like he was with his taekwondo partners goofing around after training. 

Hoongjoong and Yeosang were great, but a certain heaviness reigned in that house. Surely he was the cause; he couldn't blame them. Wooyoung always looked at him with an expression of sorrow, but that was also San's fault. He had done nothing but cry and suffer since he had been turned, consequently Wooyoung was consumed with guilt.

In any case, that afternoon was a breath of fresh air. However, as the sun began to set, San realized that he had been out much longer than expected.

"Guys, I had a good time, thank you. I have to go home now, though, or the others will worry."

"All right, come back and see us soon!" said Mingi.

"You are always welcome," Seonghwa said.

San gave him one last smile and then ran as fast as he could toward home. Wooyoung surely had returned and noticed that he was missing. He had to hurry.

Chapter Text

As soon as San opened the front door, he found himself pinned against the wall.

"Where the hell were you!" growled Wooyoung.

San had never seen him like this. He pushed him, but Wooyoung stood solid like a wall. "Wooyoung, let go of me right now! I just went out for a bit."

"And couldn’t you have warn me?! Do you know how worried I got?"

"You're right, I should have had. But I'm here now — what’s wrong with you!" Wooyoung seemed more unsteady than usual. 

Hongjoong laid a hand on his shoulder. "Let go of him, Wooyoung. Come on."

Wooyoung finally pulled away, running a hand through his hair.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he said. "I came back from the funeral after accompanying your parents to the cemetery and then to your — their —  home. It was a very hard day for me. Then I come back... and you're gone."

"Nice prank you played on us," Yeosang intervened, acidly. "You almost got us killed by your Wooyoung for losing you from our sight."

San became annoyed. "I'm not a child nor a prisoner. If I want to go out, I can. I'm sorry to have worried you, but I'm perfectly fine, as you can see."

"Did you go hunting? What were you doing? Did you kill someone?"

San shook his head. "No...actually I followed you, I wanted to see my parents."

“What?!"

"You were right, I would have been better off staying home...seeing them like that...Anyway, I met someone afterwards. A vampire named Seonghwa. He took me to his house and introduced me to his group."

San saw all three vampires paling. He began to feel anxious. He did not think he had done anything serious.

“...What did you say? We were at the home of the newcomer vampires?! San! What were you thinking?! What if they had hurt you! Didn't you think of that?!" Wooyoung was freaking out.

"Well, it's not like I can die. What could they have done to me?!”

"Actually yes, there is a way," Hongjoong explained. "We can't die a natural death, that's true. However, although it is difficult to succeed, if you rip out a vampire's heart and then set it on fire, they die permanently."

"And didn't you think to tell me sooner?!"

"I didn't think you would go and put your life in danger!" shouted Wooyoung.

"I was not in danger! They were very nice to me, I had a good time. They did absolutely no harm to me."

Wooyoung began to laugh hysterically. "Very nice to you, you say! San, they are the ones who killed you!!! That Seonghwa created a diversion to distract me while another one of his people slaughtered you in that alley!"

San felt the ground tremble underneath his feet. "...What?"

So Seonghwa had lured him that afternoon? For what purpose? Why had he welcomed him into his home? Perhaps...was he hoping to get some information from him? He was simply shocked.

"What did you tell them about us?" asked Hongjoong immediately.

"Nothing! I told them nothing!"

"You'd better!" shouted Yeosang immediately. "I knew this kid would cause us a lot of trouble!"

San pushed him. "Maybe if you had told me beforehand that there was an enemy clan, instead of keeping me in the dark as usual, I wouldn't have caused any! And you," he said, turning to Wooyoung with a fiery gaze. "How could you not tell me how I died? You knew who did this to me and you didn't tell me!"

Wooyoung changed several shades of color. "San, I—”

"Forget it, I don't want to hear your excuses. I'm tired of being the only one who never knows anything here! I may be younger than you, but you have to stop patronizing me!"

Having said this, he made to leave for the room, but was held back by Hongjoong.

"Stop right there. You have to tell us everything you know about them. How many are they? Where do they live?"

San didn't know whether to laugh or cry. That shitty day was truly paradoxical. He wriggled out of Hongjoong's grasp and flung himself into his room, throwing himself face down on the bed.

The man he loved did not trust him enough to reveal his clan's secrets to him, kept him in the dark about so many things that San wondered how much more he had not told him. His group treated him as if he were just a burden, a brat good only for causing trouble. He had made new friends, only to find that they were the very cause of all his suffering and they had lured him into their home for god know what reason. His parents at that very moment were mourning him.

Nothing was going right.

***

As soon as San slammed the door, retreating to his room Wooyoung began to tear his hair out.

Could it be that nothing was going right?

The irony continued to haunt him. He wanted to protect a human? He would end up murdered in an alley. He wanted to protect a vampire? He would go to the home of an assassin clan. 

Hongjoong spoke up. "If they tried to manipulate San that means they want war. Wooyoung, convince him to tell us everything he knows."

Wooyoung sighed. "I don't know if he will want to tell me about it. He's right. We've kept too many things from him."

"I told you we should have involved him in the first place!" Yeosang accused him.

Wooyoung looked at him murderously. "I'm not taking advice from you! Bite your tongue the next time you address him. I know you don't have a filter between your brain and your mouth, that you didn't mean what you said to him, but he doesn't know that. If we want him to feel part of the group, we have to treat him as such."

Yeosang lowered his gaze, feeling vaguely guilty and quite offended. 

"I'm going to...apologize," Wooyoung concluded, walking toward the door.

It took him a while to convince himself to open it, and when he did it was only by a crack.

"San, may I come in? I come in peace."

San was curled up on the bed, his back to him. For a moment it seemed to Wooyoung to return to the time three years earlier when San had been angry at him for agreeing with his parents during an argument. A teenager taking refuge in his room. Now he was an adult, taking refuge in the only room where he could have any semblance of privacy.

"It's your room, do whatever you want," he replied without turning around.

"It's yours too," Wooyoung said as he lay down behind him, holding him with his arms, ignoring the way he stiffened. Wooyoung hid his head against the nape of his neck. 

"I'm so sorry about before. You don't know how much. I didn't mean to attack you like that, I don't know what came over me. I'm also sorry for hiding important things from you. You're right about everything."

"Yeah."

"...It seems to me that all I've been doing lately is apologizing to you. I have more than two hundred years for nothing."

San sighed. Finally, his body began to relax a little against Wooyoung's. After a moment, San turned in his arms to face him.

"I know you think I'm just a little boy, but you have to talk to me. I love you. I'm your partner, you can't treat me like I'm a child."

"You're right. And you may be young, but I know perfectly well that you are wiser than me. You've been teaching me life lessons since you were little."

San nodded. "If you know it, then why didn't you tell me about those vampires? Why did you tell me that you didn't know how I died?"

"Because..." he had to tell the truth this time, even though San would think badly of him after hearing it. "Because I was afraid you would stop me from getting revenge."

“….Who says I don't want revenge?"

"I-I thought you were against violence in all its forms, so—”

"I was. But now I am surrounded by violence, every day. I've been beaten to death. I survive by attacking people. I tear the throat of the man I love every night. I'm afraid I'm getting used to all of this. I-I'm not the same San you knew."

"I'm realizing that."

"Do you love me anyway? Or do you spend your time wishing I would go back to the way I was?"

Wooyoung sighed.

"It's not that I wish for you to go back to the way you were. But I wish to see you happy again as you were."

"It will take a while, I think."

"I understand. You know... when you were human, I was always fascinated by watching you grow. All the little changes that were reflected in both your body and your personality — that’s something that didn't belong to me and I found it beautiful. I was eager to see you grow more. What I'm trying to say is — I know that as you grow up you change. You are a man now, and too many bad things have happened to you for you to be as innocent as you used to be. I couldn't expect something like that. You have changed, but your life has also changed. Honestly, I would love you even if you had become a bloodthirsty madman and tried to rip out my heart."

"Then why were you crying like that at my funeral? I saw you."

Wooyoung winced for a moment. He didn't want to think about it.

"...I wasn't crying because I wanted you back the way you were… I was crying because seeing your family like that shook me to the core. It shoved my personal failure in my face. I was crying because I know you are not happy. But I love you, do you understand? You may no longer be the little boy who cries for frogs that I grew fond of, but you are the strongest, steadiest person I have ever known. You are the man I've always wanted you to be."

San nodded, holding him tightly.

"I guess now you'll want to know everything I found out about those vampires."

"I'm sorry, but yes. They are much better at investigating than we are. I don't know how much they know about us, but I know they've been following us for a long time."

"I'm afraid they know quite a bit. They called you by name as if they knew you. That's also why I-I trusted them. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. You couldn't have known."

 "So what's to be done? How do you plan to get revenge?"

"We fight."

He felt San shiver in his arms.

"Wooyoung, I want revenge, too. I really do. But only at one condition."

"Tell me."

"If you forced me into an eternal life, you must promise me that you won't let me live it alone. Swear to me that you won't get yourself killed."

"I swear it. The same goes for you. You have to be careful, okay?"

"I promise."

Chapter Text

San, the next day, found himself sitting around the coffee table in the living room with Wooyoung, Hongjoong and Yeosang staring at him.

He cleared his throat, uncomfortable. "So there are four of them, just like us. Their leader is clearly Seonghwa, the vampire you met, Wooyoung," he said, nodding to him. "He is 160 years old."

Hongjoong intervened. "And he's the leader, you say? Pretty young to be leading a group of vampires," he commented.

San would have laughed at hearing a hundred and sixty-year-old man being called young, if there was really anything to laugh about in that whole situation.

"They basically told me that he is the best among them. He's also incredibly fast, even faster than you," he said addressing Hongjoong. "When he grabbed me by the arm and started running I felt like I was flying, I don't know how I kept up with him."

Hongjoong nodded gravely. "What about the others?"

San felt extremely uncomfortable and guilty. He did not like to blurt out everything he knew about someone who had treated him kindly - as long as he could remember, at least - knowing that through the information he was providing they would be able to harm them. He had no memories of those vampires harming him in the first place. But Wooyoung was sure they were the ones who had killed him, so he trusted him.

He had never been the type to want revenge, but the worst wrongs he had suffered in his life had been teasing and petty theft by classic idiotic bullies who just wanted a laugh. Here the situation was different. Someone with the intention of killing him had beaten him to death, slamming his head against the wall so hard it mangled his skull. No one could have been saved from such a blow. This meant that the person who had attacked him had been acutely aware that he would have died, that his family would have lost a son and experienced unspeakable pain. 

San could be as compassionate as he wanted, but he could not allow such an individual to roam free and potentially do the same to other people.

He let out a sigh, forcing himself to continue.

“Seonghwa right-hand man is called Jongho. He is quite strong, a lot more than me, but he is not so fast. He attacks uncontrollably and doesn't have much technique, you can tell he's used to relying on his strength alone. Then there are Yunho and Mingi. Yunho is somewhere in between, he is strong and fast, but not as strong as Jongho and definitely not as fast as you, Hongjoong. Mingi on the other hand — although his size might suggest otherwise, perhaps he is the weakest among them. I don't know how old the three of them are."

Wooyoung put his hand on his knee. He knew it was not easy for him to talk.

"Great, thank you San. And where do they live?" continued questioning Hongjoong.

"Isolated in the forest, in a house that I assume was abandoned before they arrived."

"Do you think you can find again the exact location?"

"I would say yes, although as I said Seonghwa was running so fast that I was a bit dizzy."

"I'm sure you'll make it. We'll have to start training these days. Wooyoung told me you used to do martial arts, am I right?" asked Hongjoong.

"Yes, that's right."

Hongjoong smiled. "Great, you can definitely teach us something, too, then. We, too, have always relied on strength and speed alone, as you said about the others. When you have a body with certain potential, you tend to rely on it completely. On the other hand, when the body is weak, you got to have talent to defend yourself. You are fortunate enough to possess both characteristics."

San had never thought of it that way, and despite himself, he found himself smiling. He was not as fast as Hongjoong nor as strong as Wooyoung, but unlike them, he had trained to analyze his opponents and use their weaknesses against them.

Yeosang sighed. "I swear I'll try my best not to get knocked out by a baby."

The other three burst out laughing. 

Wooyoung put a hand on San's shoulder. "I don't think you stand a chance, I can't wait to see Sanie kick your butt."

Sooner than expected, San found himself facing Yeosang, with a knot in his stomach. It was one thing to play, as he had done with Seonghwa and the others. It was another to fight to train, with the knowledge that they would have had to fight for real soon. They had gone into the forest to practice, well away from both the habitation of the other vampires and any population center. Hongjoong and Wooyoung were studying them from one side, ready to make suggestions to one or the another. 

Yeosang, somewhat as Jongho had done, immediately attacked him. San dodged him, delivering a kick to his back that rattled his column and knocked him to the ground. Honestly, San was genuinely worried that he might take offense at being knocked down immediately, but he saw Wooyoung wink at him and felt reassured. 

Yeosang was back on his feet in no time. He had a furious look on his face, and the further they fought, the angrier he got, continuing to make stupid mistakes and end up on the ground. San had to admit that he had expected more, from him, but then again, Hongjoong was right. For Yeosang wasn’t enough to be strong if he was against someone just a bit less strong than him and much better prepared. San felt so infinitely more agile than he had been as a human that he felt like he was floating as he performed those oh-so-familiar kicks.

"Stop, stop," Hongjoong said, when it was now clear who would win the fight. "Yeosang, calm down, don't be upset, come on. San, what reflexes!"

"What am I doing wrong!" asked Yeosang in frustration.

"I think you're jumping in too blindly," replied San.

"Indeed," confirmed Hongjoong. "You have to try to hit the opponent's weak points when you things get bad. Face, throat...don't throw yourself at him randomly."

San found himself surprised by Hongjoong's advice for a moment, but he quickly reckoned. It wasn't that during taekwondo training you really wanted to hurt your opponent, but this was different. In this kind of fighting, playing dirty was allowed and necessary.

Yeosang glowered at him. 

"All right, then."

Yeosang started charging, this time with the clear intent of striking his eyes. San almost didn’t manage to move out of the way. He was not used to dodging such blows. Yeosang began trying to hit him in the nose, teeth, thyroid and groin in a series of very rapid blows. If his intent was to stun him, he was succeeding. San was still not fully accustomed to the speed of his new body. At times it almost seemed to him that his eyes and mind could not keep up with it. At one point, Yeosang managed to grab him by the throat, lifting him off the ground to slam him against a tree.

San almost had the impression that he was going to lose consciousness. Something about that blow made the rest of the world seem muffled and distant to him. He felt his vision blur.

Seeing that he did not react, Wooyoung intervened. "Stop, Yeosang. That's enough."

Yeosang immediately let go of him. As soon as his feet touched the ground again, San felt more clear-headed. Wooyoung looked at him with a worried expression.

"Are you okay?"

"...Yeah, of course," San replied. "I think I'm just a little tired."

Hongjoong intervened. "San, if it had been a real fight, he would have ripped your head off. You can't still yourself like that, you have to try to fight back even if it gets bad. Come on let's switch for a while. Wooyoung, let’s go."

San sat cross-legged on the ground, followed by Yeosang, who patted him on the back.

"Did I hurt you?" asked the vampire, pointing with his index finger to his throat.

San shook his head. "It's okay. What about you?"

"No problem, I like to be kicked around."

San chuckled, but as soon as the confrontation between Wooyoung and Hongjoong began, he found himself completely immersed and could think of nothing else. He knew that the two of them were the oldest in the group, so they were more experienced and stronger, but he didn't think they were ... like that.

Hongjoong's speed was truly formidable. No doubt he would have to take care of Seonghwa, or the three of them would end up spinning like crazy in an attempt to keep up with him. 

Wooyoung, on the other hand, was really strong, but he did not sprint forward like a brute. He was careful and calculating. His every move precise and studied. He was, frankly, really charming. It was clear to San that the two of them were a few steps ahead of him and Yeosang. One day he would have liked to become as incredible as they were, too. 

At the end of a long fight, Hongjoong prevailed, but it certainly had not been an easy victory.

Thus the next two weeks passed. Training nonstop. Eventually, Hongjoong began to train San and Wooyoung began to train Yeosang, both because the styles were more similar to each other and because neither Wooyoung nor San had been very determined when they had been up against each other. 

San had noticed how they were all extremely improved, even Hongjoong and Wooyoung who were already incredible. They had decided that Hongjoong would, by necessity, take care of Seonghwa. Wooyoung of Jongho, since he was the strongest. Yeosang, on the other hand, would clash with Mingi, since he had said he felt insecure compared to the others, and, therefore, San would take care of Yunho.

The night before the battle, hunting was a must, apparently. To have more energy. However, as soon as San heard this proposal, he stiffened.

Thanks to Wooyoung's blood, he had managed to decrease the times he fed on human blood to less than one a week. This was truly remarkable progress. However, the few times he went hunting, he came home demoralized and vaguely traumatized. Moreover, he had yet to go with everyone else. It seemed strange to him to share that moment that made him so ashamed of himself with all of them. With Wooyoung it was different, he was — Wooyoung. He understood. But for the other two, his being so reluctant was simply abnormal.

"Come on, San," Yeosang began. "At least the night before the battle, you can't refuse. It's nature! Don't tell me this derelict's blood is like human blood," he said pointing to Wooyoung.

"Guys, as I've already explained to you, I'm not up to it. It's not that I have anything against you. Absolutely. The problem is me—”

Unexpectedly, San was interrupted by Hongjoong. "Take it easy, San. Don't force yourself. Wooyoung can accompany you in the morning."

"Sure," Wooyoung hastened to confirm.

"It won't hurt you to eat twice just in case, Woo," Hongjoong concluded. "Come on you two. Let's go."

San, as soon as he saw them walk away, let out a sigh of relief. All that training had exhausted him; he had an incredible thirst that burned his throat painfully. But he still preferred to wait and feed on Wooyoung's once he returned, so that he could control himself better with a human being the next day. 

He headed home at a brisk pace, and as soon as he entered, he put on his headphones with music at maximum volume. He needed to distract himself from that terrible thirst.

Chapter Text

As soon as Wooyoung, Hongjoong and Yeosang had gotten far enough away from San to go look for some unfortunate victims, Hongjoong grabbed Wooyoung by the collar.

"Will you tell us what's going on?!”

Wooyoung felt like he had missed a few steps. He released himself from Hongjoong’s grip.

"What do you mean?"

"I've never won a fight against you in more than two hundred years, and suddenly you can't even knock me down once in two weeks!" said Hoongjoong incredulously.

Ah. That was the problem.

"It's nothing. I'm just a little tired."

"A little tired?! I don't think that's the problem. Talk now. We've known each other for too many years for you to bullshit me."

Wooyoung sighed. "I didn't lie...I've been feeling quite weak lately..."

"How so??” asked Yeosang apprehensively. It was not very normal for an immortal being with instant healing abilities to feel exhausted.

“Just swear not to tell San if I tell you about it."

Hongjoong and Yeosang shared an exasperated glance at each other. 

"That's why I told him to stay home," Hongjoong said, sighing. "I knew you would never talk about your problems in front of him."

"Okay, we won't talk to him about it. However, Wooyoung...seriously...you should be more open with him," Yeosang added.

Wooyoung shook his head. "Not about this, I can't. The thing is...since San has been drinking my blood...I feel extremely weak and tired. I haven't felt like this since I was human."

“WHAT? But didn't you say it was completely harmless!" exclaimed Yeosang, dumbfounded.

"I thought so, at first...then when he started doing it frequently, I noticed the difference."

Hongjoong looked bewildered. "...Wooyoung, you absolutely must talk to him about this. He would never willingly hurt you! How can you think of keeping such a thing from him?!”

"I can’t tell him! You don't understand! Feeding from me is the thing he has clung to in order to escape the horror of his present life. To tell him he has to stop would be like crushing his hopes of being able to live in an almost normal way. I just can't. Not after I was the one who forced him to do it the first time. Besides..."

"Besides?!"

"I think it has become some kind of addiction for me. I can't think straight anymore. I just know that every night I look forward to it no matter what. You don't know how hard I have to try not to do it to him myself. Holding myself back now is even harder than when he was human. The only thing holding me back is that I don't want to weaken him. I'm too afraid of causing him irreparable harm."

"You mean like what he is causing to you without even being aware of it?!” 

"Yeosang, you cannot understand! If you were in my situation you would act the same way! You know how much power San has over me, ever since he was a child! It is not as easy as it seems to deny him happiness and at the same time deprive myself of something I crave so much!"

Before Yeosang could retort, Hongjoong put a hand on his shoulder. 

"We'll discuss another time about what is right to do or not. Right now, I'm only interested in knowing one thing. Do you think you can face Jongho tomorrow, or not?"

To tell the truth, he had asked himself the exact same thing. According to San, Jongho was incredibly strong. They had tried to split the four opponents so that the fights would be balanced, but to tell the truth, Wooyoung was haunted by the promise he had made to San that he would not have died. 

In his current condition, he was not completely convinced that he could defeat someone as strong as himself while keeping an eye on San. Someone had to do it. He was only 20 years old. He was extremely gifted, Wooyoung had been pleasantly surprised watching him train, however, he remained his San, and he had never fought in a life-or-death fight. Sure, he was perfectly capable of keeping up against his opponent. Wooyoung did not know, however, whether he would be emotionally able to finish him, and that meant that sooner or later his opponent would have finished him. Wooyoung knew he would have had to help him do that. 

However, he also knew that concentrating in two tasks when he himself had a more than worthy opponent was not a great idea. San was right. Wooyoung could not force him into eternity, only to let him live it alone. San was, as always, his priority.

At last, he replied. "...No, I’m not sure I can do it."

Hongjoong put his hands in his hair. Yeosang looked speechless.

"You don't think you can do it, that’s it? Couldn't you have said that in the first place?!" exclaimed Hongjoong, furious.

"Sorry. I didn't think it would come to this. But you don't have to worry, I've already taken responsibility. I’m not sure I can do it, but I will do it regardless."

"No," Yeosang suddenly said.

The other two looked at him in amazement. 

"Let's change tactics. You against Mingi, me against Jongho."

Seeing the worried look of the two, Yeosang hastened to explain. "Besides you, I am the strongest one in this group. This weeks of training I think has helped me a lot in technique. I know I said I didn't feel much like fighting, but that's only because I've never been in a fight like this. If you don't think you can manage, I want to try it."

"You don't have to do that," Wooyoung said immediately.

"I want to do that. In any case, you have someone who loves you who couldn't bear to have anything happen to you. I'm just — me. I really want to try."

"What are you talking about? You're important, too, as much as I am. The three of us are like brothers. I couldn't bear for anything to happen to any of you," Wooyoung immediately replied.

"You are absolutely right, Wooyoung. But I understand Yeosang," Hongjoong intervened. "Now we also have a new little brother to look out for. The days when Yeosang was our brat are long gone. It's only right that he wants to prove himself. He is no longer a newbie. I'll watch your back, just as Wooyoung will watch San's."

Yeosang smiled, proudly. "Thank you for your trust, Hongjoong. I will not let you down."

Wooyoung did not know how to feel. On the one hand relieved, no doubt. On the other, if anything happened to Yeosang because of him, he would have never forgiven himself.

"Good. It's decided. Let's go hunting, com’on," Hongjoong concluded.

***

San was so thirsty that he would have teared his skin off to think of something else, when he finally heard the group returning.

He tried to restrain himself from welcoming Wooyoung at the door by jumping at his throat, forcing himself to maintain some semblance of calm. He did not know why he felt this incredible desire exclusively for Wooyoung's blood. It would have never even crossed his mind to bite Hongjoong or Yeosang. With humans it was different, one was as good as the other, more or less. He would have liked to know more about how it all worked, but it wasn't as if any studies had ever been done on the subject.

Seeing his vaguely desperate expression, Wooyoung quickly waved goodbye to the others, following him into their room.

As soon as Wooyoung closed the door again, San pinned him to it, biting the joint between his neck and shoulder. Oh God, he felt better already. Before long, however, he felt Wooyoung's hands gently push him.

"...San...that's enough for today.”

San immediately moved from him. He could have never done such a thing without his consent.

"Why? Is something wrong? Are you dizzy?"

"...A little bit. Besides, tomorrow morning you and I will go hunting. Tonight you don't need to feed completely on my blood."

San was puzzled. Usually Wooyoung seemed to enjoy that strange habit between them, but today he seemed uncomfortable with it.

"Are you sure you’re okay?"

"Yes, it's just — tomorrow is the battle. I don't want my body to spend energy to heal before it needs to."

As soon as he heard this, San chilled. It still didn't seem real to him that they would attack Seonghwa and the others tomorrow. They were going to try to kill four vampires to avenge his death and take back their territory for good. His life had become absurd.

"You're right, Wooyoung. I’m sorry."

Wooyoung hastened to hold him. "You don't have to apologize. I know you're hungry. Next time you feel like this... you should just come with us instead of waiting for me."

"I know, one day I will... but I don't feel like it yet."

"There's time."

Hopefully, San found himself thinking. He was really afraid of what might happen the next day. 

Eventually, he and Wooyoung went out at dawn to find some unfortunate person who had left too early or, more likely, had not yet returned home from the night before.

Wooyoung pointed out two drunken boys to him.

San raised an eyebrow. "There are two of them."

"Yes...I'll eat too, this time.”

San winced. He still had never seen Wooyoung feed and was not very eager to do so anytime soon. 

"...But didn't you eat last night?"

"I need to be strong today."

"...I understand," he replied. He took a deep breath, ready to throw himself forward, but Wooyoung held him back.

"Today I'll teach you an alternative method of not making humans remember meeting us."

San looked at him in curiosity. He had never told him about the existence of an alternative method. Wooyoung winked at him and then ran forward so fast that he was invisible to the human eye. He came up behind the boys and then... grabbed their heads and slammed them into each other. The boys fell to the ground, unconscious.

San was dumbfounded, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. He hurried to catch up with Wooyoung.

"Well, very good method. Really sophisticated," he said stifling a laugh.

Wooyoung laughed with him, but San saw a shadow in his eyes.

"Are you sure you're okay? You're weird today."

"I'm just a little nervous about tonight. I don't feel calm enough to manipulate minds."

"I understand. If there's anything else — I’m here. You know that, right?"

"...I know. Come on, eat. This time bite in a spot where it's easy to get hurt. They won't remember us, but this time they will notice the marks. We should disguise the wounds, afterwards."

San didn't need to be told twice. He bit the boy closest to him on the calf. It was not as satisfying as the throat. The blood was not flowing like a raging river. But it was still blood, and he was starving. He had to admit that, hunting only once a week, he had become so accustomed to Wooyoung's blood that he had started to prefer it to human blood. It had an indescribable taste that simply screamed — Wooyoung. That was why he was now better at controlling himself when he drank from humans. He could feel the canines begging to come out, but he could keep them at bay.

When he felt better, he lifted his gaze to Wooyoung, caught up in a morbid curiosity to see him feed. His teeth were still sunk into the boy's flesh and he had an expression on his face he had never seen before. San forgot about the human in his own arms, letting go of his grip on his leg. He had imagined several possible reactions to seeing Wooyoung in that state. Fear, horror, disgust — but never had he thought he would have wanted more than anything to be in that human's place. It should have been because of his blood that Wooyoung should have had such an ecstatic expression. He felt a sudden warmth in his lower abdomen. He wanted Wooyoung so badly, he could think of nothing else.

Wooyoung pulled away from the boy, wiping his mouth. Seeing that San was staring at him, he raised an eyebrow. 

"Are you okay? Did you finish already? Weren't you starving?"

San felt his cheeks burn. 

"Y-Yes...I'm done."

“…Okay.”

Wooyoung grabbed the leg of the boy San had been drinking from, rubbing it hard on the hard gravel. A bloody abrasion formed that would probably hurt quite a bit, perfectly camouflaging the mold of San's teeth.

After that, he did the same to his own human.

"Come on, let's go home. We have to rest today, before tonight,"Wooyoung said, holding out his hand to him.

San immediately took it, standing up in turn.

He felt unsteady. But to be fair, Wooyoung made him feel that way most of the time.

Chapter Text

That evening, as soon as the sun set down, San found himself leading the other three vampires in search of the house in the forest of Seonghwa’s clan. 

He had been really convinced that he wanted revenge until just before, but now he found himself hoping that he would not be able to find the location of the house.

He had a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach that told him they were making a big mistake. Perhaps his peaceful nature was regaining the upper hand over his desire for revenge, and surely the fact that he couldn’t remember anything about his death did not help him to want to slaughter those who had hurt him. Moreover, he was genuinely afraid that the confrontation might turn out to be tougher than expected and that something bad would happen to one of his group. Lastly and most importantly, that microscopic possibility that Seonghwa and the others were not the ones who had killed him haunted him, but Wooyoung had assured him repeatedly that he was sure of it.

Although Wooyoung had not seen them with his own eyes, he had explained to him that vampires were very territorial and it was rare for two clans to coexist peacefully. Just the fact that they had decided to move to an already claimed territory did not work in their favor. What's more, they had followed them for a long time and made it clear that they did not have a good opinion about their choice to feed without killing. The fact that Wooyoung was so attached to a human, whom most vampires considered an inferior being, had not been well regarded even by Hongjoong and Yeosang, let alone those strangers vampires. They had already knew that San would become a target. That his death occurred right in the very days when Wooyoung was protecting him from them, while Wooyoung was being held back by Seonghwa who had made him lose those crucial minutes, did not leave too much doubt as to who the culprits were. Wooyoung did not believe in coincidences, and his explanation had seemed perfectly logical to everyone.

However, even though San was convinced he was right, he still felt uneasy. Unfortunately for him, his overdeveloped body found the exact location on its own, his legs leading him right in front of Seonghwa's house although he could not remember where it was.

Hearing the group approaching, Seonghwa, followed by Yunho, Mingi and Jongho came out of the house, visibly puzzled.

"...San? Did you convince your clan to come and get acquainted?" asked Seonghwa.

"Don't talk to him," Wooyoung hissed immediately. "If you thought you tricked us, you were very wrong. Don't think we don't know that it was you who did this to him. Today you will bitterly regret provoking us."

Seonghwa raised an eyebrow. "Wooyoung, I have no idea what you’re talking about."

"Don't call me by my first name, we’re strangers. And I think you know very well what I’m referring to, actually. You attacked San on his last day as a human, don't try to deny it. Which one of you three was the one who split his head in two?" he asked addressing Yunho, Mingi and Jongho.

"...I think there is a big misunderstanding."

"No misunderstandings," intervened Hongjoong. "Did you think it was easy to invade our territory? You made a miscalculation."

San could have sworn he felt his own heart hammering in his chest. Seonghwa and the others seemed genuinely shocked, could it be that they were such good actors? He had no more time to think that Wooyoung and Hongjoong dashed forward, with Yeosang in tow a split second later. San could do nothing but follow them. 

He saw Wooyoung grab Mingi and slam him violently to the ground. What was he doing? Wasn't he supposed to be taking care of Jongho? An instant before Yunho was on Wooyoung, San put himself between them, kicking him in the face, getting him away from the pair. 

"San. You are making a mistake. I don't want to kill you," said Yunho, once he had gotten up.

"You may not be able to," he replied, jumping on him again.

If Yunho was tall and powerful, San was agile and fast. Although San was much younger, he was also particularly gifted, so the fight turned out to be even as they had hoped by choosing that strategy of attack. 

In any case, that fight was still extremely challenging for him. For every kick he landed, Yunho landed an equally strong blow in return. Neither was managing to prevail over the other. They seemed destined to remain in a stalemate, but that was part of the plan. Wooyoung or Yeosang would have sooner or later finished off their opponent and helped him. Then, once everyone else was settled, they would have dealt with Seonghwa all together. However, San still did not understand why Wooyoung had gone straight to Mingi and Yeosang to Jongho. Could it be that his clan always had to change the tables without telling him?

At that moment, Yunho managed to dodge a kick from San, which struck the tree behind him, accidentally uprooting it from the ground.

San noticed that Yunho was continually casting glances at Wooyoung and Mingi, visibly worried. In fact, Mingi did not seem to be doing very well. San took advantage of that moment of distraction to hit him full in the face, sending him flying into the wall of the house.

Yunho got back up, furious. “That’s enough. I have no time to waste with you."

With that said, he began attacking him with a frightening energy that did not even seem to belong to him. The knowledge that Mingi would not survive much longer had given him an unseen momentum. San found himself slightly overwhelmed, but he continued to handle the situation as best he could — that is, until Yunho grabbed him by the neck.

This was his weak point. For some reason, no matter how much he improved, every time someone managed to choke him like that his brain seemed to shut down and panic won. 

Yunho slammed his head violently against the wall of the house. San felt the wall crack. He slammed it once, twice, with each hit San felt less lucid. At one point, he felt a warm liquid leaking from his skull and running down his neck. He felt like throwing up, he was completely panicked, and soon, everything went black.

A FEW MINUTES BEFORE THE MOMENT THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING

"San, we're done for today. See you tomorrow," Mrs. Kim, his boss at the flower shop, told him.

"All right, thank you ma'am! See you tomorrow!"

That day had gone strangely better than usual. It was one of the few times he had finished work on time, there had actually been fewer customers than usual.

San took off his apron and walked out of the store, looking around. Where was Wooyoung? It had never happened that he was not already there when he finished work. Had he had an inconvenience with the family business?

He decided to wait for him outside the store, but then he saw him. He was one of the regular customers. Mingyu. 

He quickly put on his headphones and started walking towards home. The fact was that this boy was creeping the hell out of him. He was a guy from a close-by college and had only started coming to the store since he had been hired, apparently. Initially he had thought he was very nice and friendly, the typical good-looking, athletic, cheerful guy. He came at least three times a week, at several different hours. He always bought something, no matter how small, always stopping by the store for a long time, peppering him with questions about the flowers and all the products on display. It seemed strange to him that someone like him would be so interested in the care of peonies, and indeed he was right. 

One day Mingyu had asked him if, by any chance, the boy he had seen coming to pick him up was his boyfriend. Of course, he was referring to Wooyoung. San had told him the truth, which was that no, Wooyoung was not his boyfriend, although he avoided telling him that he would have liked him to be. From that moment on, that Mingyu had given him no respite. 

He had started coming to the store even more often, even without buying anything, sometimes just to bring him coffee. Every time he bought something, when San handed him the flowers, he would deliberately touch his hand. Once he had even squeezed it so hard that San there and then got frightened. He incessantly asked him for his number, asked him out, and no matter how many times San told him no, he just kept doing it. He seemed to hear only what he wanted to hear. When San told him "no," he would cringe for a moment, then return to smiling in that overly friendly way and say goodbye, promising to come back to see him the next day.

The stress level that situation created for him was so high that he had gone so far as to tell his boss that he found it harassing and had asked her to do something about it. However, she had recommended to always be kind and nice to that guy because, as annoying as he was, he was the only person in the entire city who spent his money in that store every day. 

San had never even told Wooyoung about him because, knowing him, he would have punched that guy right there and then, which would probably have led to San being fired. Wooyoung was always overprotective of him, bordering on obsessive. And Mingyu was an manageable problem, just ten annoying minutes a day. He could do it on his own.

"San! Wait for me!"

San pretended not to hear. He had put on headphones on purpose. He saw in a car window that Mingyu was following him and quickened his pace. He decided to wander around the neighborhood until he got tired of following him. He did not want him to know where he lived. This was a mistake.

To tell the truth, San did not know where he was going and soon lost his sense of direction. He had wandered into a series of alleys he did not know. He was forced to slow down to figure out where the heck he was when he felt his wrist being grabbed. He gasped.

"Mingyu. What are you doing here?" he asked, taking off his headphones, pretending to be surprised to see him.

"San, if I didn't know you, I'd swear you were trying to run away from me. Are you okay? Are you on your way home?"

San nodded, making an effort to smile cordially.

"I'll drive you, my car is at the store," he said quickly.

"No. Thank you, but I'd rather go back alone."

Mingyu squared him from head to toe with that annoying smile plastered on his face. "Don't you usually go home with that friend of yours? Didn't he come today?"

Before San could answer him, Mingyu interrupted him.

"I know you're not going home. Your home is not this way. Why did you lie to me?"

San felt the blood run cold in his veins. "And how do you know that?"

"I know very well where you live. I followed you home one night."

Client of the year or not, this was just too much. His boss would have forgiven him.

"Look Mingyu, sorry to say it like this, but it’s precisely because of this attitude of yours that I lied to you. What were you thinking following me all the way home? I've already told you several times that I'm not interested in you like that, but maybe I wasn't clear enough."

Mingyu looked at him coldly for a moment, but resumed smiling in no time. Such behavior was not normal. 

"San, I don't understand what you are talking about. Every day you smile at me and talk to me, when I touch you never complain. You may not have given me your number, but we both know you just want to play hard to get. Or maybe you think it's unprofessional at your workplace? In any case, it's just the two of us now. How much longer are you going to make me wait before you go out with me?"

San almost laughed. How self-centered could a person be to think such a thing? 

"Are you crazy? I am nice to you because you are a customer — I smile and talk to all my customers. That's not because I'm interested in dating you. I'm not, do you understand? Please just leave me alone."

Finally, Mingyu stopped smiling. "Oh really? I don't believe that. I know you also feel the connection between us."

Was he serious?

"Mingyu. I'm interested in another person. Not you. I'm sorry, I don't know what else to tell you."

"Who would you be interested in? That little friend of yours who always comes to pick you up?"

"Yes, indeed."

Mingyu laughed, but he was visibly losing his temper. "And does he know you spend your day flirting with customers? Are you kidding me? Is it the shop's policy to make eyes at everyone to get them to buy some crappy flowers? What else do you do, huh?"

"Mingyu, you are insane. Now excuse me, but I'd like to go home."

He made to leave, but Mingyu grabbed him by the arms. "Where do you think you’re going? First you seduce me by teasing me as if I were an idiot and then you think you can end the conversation so easily? It doesn't work that way. You've been making me think you're interested in me for weeks. Now you better give me something to compensate me for all the time and money I wasted because of you."

With that said, he pounced on him, sticking his tongue into his mouth. San felt like throwing up; he was shocked. He bit his tongue as hard as he could, tasting the disgusting taste of his blood. 

"Son of a bitch," Mingyu cursed, then punched him straight in the face.

San saw stars; that whole situation had caught him totally unprepared. He had long understood that the guy was strange, but he would never have believed that he was completely sick.

He tried to defend himself, but as soon as he hit him back, Mingyu ultimately lost his mind. He grabbed him by the neck, lifting him off the ground, slamming him against the wall. San was shocked, feeling completely panic-stricken, he began to struggle, scratching his arms, kicking him, but he would not let go. He slammed his head against the wall once, twice. With each blow San felt less able to fight back. Mingyu kept yelling at him, but he could no longer even understand what he was saying to him. He felt something warm and slimy dripping from his skull down his neck. His vision grew darker and darker.

Curious as, an instant before he lost consciousness, he found himself wondering if Wooyoung was by any chance waiting for him at the store. 

Chapter Text

San suddenly came to his senses, completely shocked. He finally remembered everything. 

His feet were no longer lifted off the ground. He was now lying down, with Yunho straddling him. The latter was still clutching his throat, probably trying to rip his head off. San, panicked, suddenly reached out, poking his fingers into his eyes the hardest he could.

Yunho let out an agonizing cry, and San wasted no time getting up. He didn't want to hurt him, but he knew he would eventually heal. He quickly turned back to Wooyoung. He was straddling Mingi and his hand was shoved into his chest, ready to rip his heart out.

San immediately lunged forward. "NO!!! WOOYOUNG, DON'T DO IT!!!"

But it was too late. Wooyoung ripped the heart from Mingi's chest a split second before San tackled him.

Wooyoung looked at him confused. "San?! What are you doing!"

"I REMEMBERED EVERYTHING! THEY DIDN'T DO IT! THEY DIDN'T DO IT!"

Every single vampire present turned toward them. Seonghwa, seeing Mingi on the ground, let out a cry, rushing toward his body. Wooyoung wasted no time, letting go of his heart, grabbing San and starting to run. San saw Hongjoong running to retrieve Yeosang, pushing Jongho away from him. However, Yeosang did not look too well because Hongjoong had to carry him on his shoulders. Jongho made to follow them, but seeing Mingi and Yunho on the ground, he ran to help Seonghwa rescue them.

San was bewildered and distraught, feeling foggy and confused as if he was moving underwater, although he was running at the speed of light, pulled by Wooyoung. 

Finally, when they were far enough away, Wooyoung and Hongjoong stopped.

Hongjoong immediately began to scream. "CAN YOU TELL WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!"

But San failed to respond. His gaze was fixed on Yeosang. Jongho had almost managed to rip his arm off, and his shoulder was bleeding profusely, he’s bones showing. He did not seem fully conscious. San felt bile in his mouth and his eyes filled with tears. Noticing him, Hongjoong hurried to reassure him.

"San, he will heal. I know it's scary for someone who has never seen such injuries, but you don't have to worry about him."

San hurriedly nodded, trying to push back the tears. Yeosang had been hurt for him — and it had been for nothing.

"Will you tell us what the hell you meant by 'they didn't do it'?"

San swallowed. It took him a moment to speak. "...They didn't kill me. I... when Yunho slammed my head against the wall, I relived my death. I remembered everything. I know who did it. They didn't do it."

Hongjoong looked shocked, but San only had eyes for Wooyoung. It was the first time he had looked at him since he had torn Mingi's heart out. He felt an anger toward him that he had never felt in his life.

Wooyoung was as white as a corpse, his arm soaked in blood to the elbow, a shocked expression on his face. “…How can it be?"

San lost his mind and punched him full in the face. 

"YOU SAID YOU WERE SURE! YOU CONVINCED US ALL TO DO THIS BECAUSE YOU WERE SURE!"

"IN FACT I WAS SURE!"

"That's all bullshit Wooyoung! You weren't sure about anything at all! Look at the state of Yeosang! You're so angry at the world for what happened to me that you put us all in danger without thinking!"

"Who else could have done it?! What was there to think about?!"

San was incredulous. "There was to think that we might have died for nothing! There was to think that we could have killed innocent people! What will happen to Mingi?!"

"None of us are innocent, San, except you. We are all murderers! Mingi will not die, I did not set his heart on fire. He will recover, even if it will take time."

"What about Yeosang?! How long will it take him to recover?!"

"...I-I don't know exactly—”

San threw another punch at him. A small part inside him knew it was their fault too, that they had allowed themselves to be convinced by the most obvious hypothesis and Wooyoung's certainties without investigating further, but at that moment he was not lucid. The shock of remembering his own death, of seeing and experiencing all that violence, that two innocents had been seriously injured for him...at that moment it was too much. 

Wooyoung looked at him shocked, unresponsive. San hoped he was realizing what they had done. Or would he continue to defend himself and go his own way, shutting his eyes and ears? Just at the thought San felt himself going crazy. He struck him a third time.

Hongjoong finally intervened. "Stop it, San! You are right. But get a grip on yourself! Calm down, okay? Breathe."

San tried to breathe as Hongjoong was telling him, but as soon as Wooyoung tried to touch him he was again flooded with anger.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Wooyoung flinched as if his skin was burning. He had tears in his eyes and could not utter a word.

"Let's all calm down," Hongjoong repeated. "We are in a bad situation here. As soon as Yunho regains his sight, no doubt Seonghwa, he and Jongho will come to take revenge for what happened. I guess it will take at least a couple of days, but then we should find a new place to stay, since they know where we live. In the meantime, we need blood for Yeosang to recover faster. Come on, let's go home."

The group of vampires began to run towards home. San felt that Wooyoung kept looking at him, searching for his eyes, but he could not return his gaze. He thought back to the kindness with which Seonghwa and the others had treated him. He felt like crying. He had betrayed them, revealed any information about them, and attacked them. He was so disgusting. 

Moreover, he kept feeling Mingyu's gross hands on him. Would he experience the post-traumatic stress of his death now? After all this time? He was shocked. He would have never thought the guy could have hurt him like that. He was just an overly pushy guy, but all in all harmless. Or so he had thought.

As soon as they entered the house, Hongjoong immediately put Yeosang on his bed, tearing off his shirt to clean his wound. 

"I'll go get some blood," Wooyoung said immediately, leaving as quickly as he had entered.

San ran to fill a basin with warm water to give it to Hongjoong, who began cleaning Yeosang's shoulder. Such an injury, for a human, would have meant the loss of the arm. San was bewildered; he couldn't quite imagine how he would heal. In that moment, Yeosang's eyes were pitch black and his canines were out; he did not look like he was actually aware about what was happening. 

"He has to feed himself to heal," Hongjoong explained to San. "That's why he's like this."

San nodded. 

"How are you doing? Are you calmer?"

"No. I'm angry."

"At Wooyoung? You know that he acted for a good cause, right? And besides, we were too impulsive ourselves. Don't be mad at him. It's everyone's fault."

"But he was the one who started it all. He said he was sure. I trusted him."

"In my opinion, you're just looking for a scapegoat to vent anger. Exactly like Wooyoung did, taking it out on those vampires. We fucked up, but we have to stick together. Do you understand?"

San made an effort to nod. Rationally, he knew Hongjoong was right, but inside he felt an uproar of mixed emotions and feelings.

Finally, Wooyoung returned with blood. San did not know exactly what he was expecting, but he certainly had never imagined he would have seen Wooyoung walk in, holding a screaming man by the nape of his neck. He felt chills; he was simply dumbfounded. 

Wooyoung dragged the poor man into Yeosang's room, who jerked up, as if hypnotized, grabbing him by his shirt to drag him onto the bed, ready to bite him.

Seeing San's expression, Hongjoong grabbed him by the arm, leading him out of the room.

"San. Go to your room. Don't look."

"That man is going to die, isn't he?"

"Yes."

San felt panicked. "But we don't kill people!"

"San! It's just a human being! This is about Yeosang! You have to accept who you are and choose sides!"

"Just a human being? I was also just a human being until two months ago!"

With that said, San ran to his own room. For the man there was no hope and he could not hear his cries getting weaker and weaker.

After some time he came out of the room. Hongjoong was sitting on the sofa, his head in his hands. 

"...Where is Wooyoung?" asked San.

"Getting rid of the body."

If Hongjoong noticed his expression, he ignored it. "Why don't you go say hello to Yeosang? He's came to his senses now."

San nodded, walking stiffly toward his room. He knocked before entering.

"Come in," he heard him say weakly.

As soon as he saw who it was, Yeosang smiled. "My little brother. Come on in, why are you standing by the door like a fool?”

San sat on the bed, taking his healthy hand. He could not look at his face, but he needed to tell him something.

"Yeosang...please forgive me. You got hurt to avenge my death, but we did everything wrong. We attacked Seonghwa and the others for nothing, we made enemies, you got hurt. You don't know how sorry I am. I never wanted all this to happen because of me."

Yeosang held his hand tighter.

"It's not your fault. We all made mistakes. Besides, I think we would have attacked them eventually anyway. Ever since they arrived in our territory, we have been convinced that they were enemies. It was only a matter of time. All it took was a pretext for us to lose our minds. We all wanted to believe they did it."

San nodded, wiping his eyes. He didn’t remember starting to cry. ”How long will it take you to heal?"

"I don't know. I've never been hurt like this. But I'm sure I'll heal, so don't worry. Are you okay? Who was the one who killed you? They told me you remembered everything. You must be shaken."

San nodded. "It was a guy I knew. But I don't feel like talking about it."

"I understand. You should go and rest too. We'll have to escape from here soon."

"All right. If you need anything, you know I'm here."

With that said, San got out of bed and returned to his own room. He felt emotionally shattered. Within minutes, he fell asleep.

Chapter Text

"Who would you be interested in? That little friend of yours who always comes to pick you up?"

"And does he know you spend your day flirting with customers?What else do you do, huh?"

"Where do you think you’re going? First you seduce me by teasing me as if I were an idiot and then you think you can end the conversation so easily? It doesn't work that way.”

San felt a hand on his shoulder and jolted awake. He turned around. Wooyoung. He turned again, turning his back to him. 

"You were having a nightmare, weren't you? What were you dreaming of?"

"...My death."

"Tell me who did it."

San felt he was on the verge of getting angry again. "Not now, Wooyoung. Someday I will tell you about it. Not today."

There was a moment of silence. 

"I'm sorry about before,” said Wooyoung. "For what you had to see. I didn't want to bring that man in here, but there was nothing else I could do. Yeosang was in no condition to get out."

"He was just a human being anyway, right?"

Wooyoung sighed. "It was an one-time thing. It won't happen again."

“I don’t believe you."

Another moment of silence.

"You must be hungry. Do you want to feed?"

"Hunting is the last thing I feel like doing right now."

"You don't need to. I'm here."

At that moment, he felt even less like drinking Wooyoung’s blood than go hunting. That gesture was so intimate that he could not consider it just and exclusively "feeding." Now that the situation between them was tense, he just couldn’t do it.

"...I'm not hungry."

"...All right. If you change your mind, I'm here."

Wooyoung lay down behind him, hugging him tightly. How could he act like nothing happened?

"...Aren't we going to talk about what happened?" asked San. 

"There is nothing to talk about. I made a mistake. I'm an idiot. You were right. I wanted to believe it was them so badly that I put everyone in danger. I'm sorry," after a moment's hesitation, he resumed speaking. "But I can make mistakes too, San. In fact, I make mistakes all the time. I try, I try my best, but apparently I can’t do anything right. You don't know how bad I feel about what happened to Yeosang, about having to leave this house, about putting my family, you, in danger. But I don't know what to do to solve it. I need you to stand by me. I need you to help me."

San took his hands, which were pressed against his stomach, squeezing them. Perhaps the real problem was that he had not yet accepted that Wooyoung was so...human. Since he had discovered that, actually, he was not a human being, he had begun to see all of his flaws as well. Absurdly, when San had thought he was just an ordinary guy in his twenties, he had always thought he was borderline perfect. Like a superhero or something. Now he had discovered how insecure, impulsive, short-tempered, secretive  he really was. 

He couldn't blame him for everything that had happened. After all, Wooyoung was just Wooyoung. He was not a superhero or a deity. He had been wrong. But they had been wrong, too. Wooyoung had made a mistake because he had wanted to do something for him so badly.

San suddenly understood what he had to do.

"Wooyoung...I'm sorry. I didn’t want to take it on you. I promise I’ll help you. Now try to sleep."

Wooyoung didn’t need to be told twice, hiding his face between San’s shoulder blades. San felt the fabric of his shirt getting wet. Wooyoung was crying, although he was not making a single sound. He had never seemed so small to him. 

As soon as he was heavily asleep, San slipped out of his arms, silently leaving the room. He saw through the ajar door of Yeosang's room that Hongjoong was at his bedside. He left the house. 

He began to run as fast as he could toward the forest. It was almost dawn. He had decided to go and apologize on behalf of everyone to Seonghwa and the others. If they came after them first, there would be have been a bloodbath. Yeosang was in no condition to move anytime soon; they would have not been able to escape. Wooyoung, who had reduced Mingi like that, would have died. Everyone would have died. At this point, San preferred to die alone. All this had happened because of him and, moreover, he should have died two months ago.

While running in the forest, he could not get to Seonghwa’s house that he felt himself abruptly grabbed by the shoulders and pinned to a tree. Seonghwa was so fast that he had not even seen him coming.

"San."

He was looking at him with fiery eyes; he was really frightening. San swallowed.

"Seonghwa. I came to apologize."

“Did you come by yourself?" asked Seonghwa looking around.

“I'm alone. They don't know I'm here."

"You made a mistake, coming back here," said Seonghwa, bringing one hand back, ready to rip out his heart.

"Wait! Please, just let me explain!"

Seonghwa studied him for a moment. He probably read the sincerity and desperation in his gaze, because he lowered his hand, sighing, though he did not let him go.

"You have one minute to tell me why the hell you came to our house to try to kill us before I rip your heart out. We didn't do anything to you. We've always kept away from your hunting grounds."

"Remember I told you I did not remember my death?"

Seonghwa nodded once dryly.

"The day I died was the same day when you first talked to Wooyoung. He was coming to pick me up from work to... protect me from you. He still didn't know if you were a threat. Right in the few minutes you two talked — I died. If you had not held him back, he would have arrived on time and today I would still be human. I mean, the thing is, he was convinced that you did it on purpose, that while you were creating a diversion another one of you killed me."

"...What? We don't have that much time to waste provoking your little group. And let’s say we killed you, it seems like an overreaction to start a war over a walking bag of blood. No offense."

San did his best not to get into an argument. He knew that Seonghwa and the others considered humans exclusively food, and now was not the time to get into explaining his view on the matter.

"It’s not like that, at least not for Wooyoung. He — he loves me. Since before I became a vampire, I mean. He has been close to me and protecting me since I was fourteen years old. For him, to hurt me is the worst possible wrong. The purpose of his life was to protect me; he can't get over the fact that I became a vampire. So...he lost his mind, you know? The most obvious assumption was that it was you, we were all convinced. I only remembered how I really died the day we attacked you, while I was fighting against Yunho."

Seonghwa looked at him with a slightly shocked expression, loosening his grip on him slightly.

"That's why you guys don't kill humans. Go figure, what a story. I've never heard anything like that. It's hard for vampires to fall in love in general, let alone fall in love with their own food. Fact is, you had no proof, but you decided to attack us anyway."

"I know, we were wrong, completely. If you want revenge I understand, that's why I came here alone. If you have to kill someone, kill me. It was all because of me. Wooyoung's only fault is that he loves me too much, what would you have done if you were convinced you knew who killed the person you love? And as for Hongjoong and Yeosang, they just wanted to help their brother. They had nothing to do with it. Please don't hurt them."

Seonghwa sighed, then brought his hand back again to strike him. San closed his eyes, feeling a tear escape him. Wooyoung would have never forgiven him for what he had decided to do, but Wooyoung had lived only 6 of his 226 years with him. A tiny portion in proportion to the rest of his life. He would have learned to live without him again. San could not bear to have anything happen to him or to the others because of him. Besides, if someone was going to die, it had better be him, since he did not think he would ever be able to accept his life the way it was now.

Just when he thought his time had come, he felt Seonghwa's hand wipe away his tear instead of piercing his chest. He opened his eyes, confused.

"San, there is something special about you. I don't want to kill you. I liked you from the first moment I talked to you. Besides, if you die, do you think this would end here? If what you told me is true and I kill you, Wooyoung and his people will not rest until we are all dead. Only a little boy like you could think of settling things this way."

San at this point could no longer hold back his tears, in a mixture of shame and relief. 

"But I really want to make it up to you somehow. You and the others have been so kind to me. The time I spent with you was a breath of fresh air, but then I betrayed you. I can't forgive myself."

Seonghwa, to his surprise, hugged him, letting him cry against his chest.

"You are really special. No vampire I have ever met would care about such things. Our lifestyle changes us. We become cold and cruel even without meaning to, even if we weren't like that in our human life. Don't change, all right? This is just the second time I'm talking to you, but you've already taught me that you can be like us and not give up being... human."

San nodded, holding him tightly in turn. Even though he and Seonghwa did not know each other, San had immediately felt connected to him, as if he could trust him. As if he were an older brother, or a guide sent especially for him.

"If you want to do something to make it up to others, come and ask for forgiveness."

"All right. Thank you Seonghwa. And you won't hurt Wooyoung, Hongjoong and Yeosang, will you?"

"Not if they don't try anything against us again. And I would like your Wooyoung to apologize, as you did, for almost killing Mingi. It will take at least a month for him to wake up. The heart is the most delicate organ in our body."

"All right, I'll tell him."

As soon as San and Seonghwa arrived at the home in the forest, Jongho's eyes flashed and he immediately made to attack him.

Seonghwa stood in front of him. "Stop, Jongho! He has come in peace. Let's go into the house. He has something to say to you and Yunho."

San followed Seonghwa and Jongho, who kept glaring at him, into the dwelling. He saw Mingi lying on the bed, under the blankets. He appeared to be sleeping. Then he saw Yunho with a blindfold on. He immediately felt uncomfortable.

"Who's there?” asked Yunho. 

"San. He came to apologize," explained Seonghwa.

As soon as he heard his name, Yunho's face contorted.

"Yunho, you don't know how sorry I am about your eyes. When are you going to get better?"

"You bastard, first you blind me and then you come here thinking an apology is enough! As soon as I can see again I'll rip your heart out with my own hands, do you understand?!"

"Yunho, let him talk. San, tell them what you said to me."

San took a deep breath and then told Yunho and Jongho about the dynamics that had led to that development of events. Similar to Seonghwa, Yunho and Jongho seemed extremely surprised to learn that Wooyoung had had such a relationship with San while he was still human.

"Now I understand," Jongho said. "But honestly, it won't be easy to pretend nothing happened. Look at Mingi."

"I know. I'm really sorry. If I can do anything for you, tell me and I will do it!"

Just then, a voice was heard calling in the distance.

"San! San!"

Wooyoung. Evidently he had woken up and realized that he could only have gone in one place.

San immediately got up, followed by Seonghwa. Yunho clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles turned white. Wooyoung was the one who had torn his best friend's heart out. Seonghwa nodded to Jongho, intimating to be careful that Yunho did nothing stupid.

San walked out of the house. 

"Wooyoung! I'm here!"

Wooyoung arrived at lightning speed, with a hallucinated, furious look in his eyes. Seeing Seonghwa, he made to attack, but quickly realized that the situation was not as he had imagined. San was not being held hostage — he seemed fine. He froze, fearing to tip that strange balance.

"Wooyoung, take it easy. I came to explain to Seonghwa and the others why everything happened. I came to ask for forgiveness."

"Are you crazy?! You could have been killed!"

Seonghwa took the floor. "Get a grip on yourself, here the only one I'm still tempted to kill is you." Seeing the terrified look San gave him, Seonghwa sighed. "You are lucky your beloved is someone like him. This young boy had the courage to come and apologize on your behalf for what you did. How about following his example, or are you too cocky to do that? You almost killed one of my people. Don't you care at all?"

Wooyoung cast a glance at San, who pleaded with him to do what Seonghwa was telling him, praying that he would understand. Wooyoung, after a moment's hesitation, spoke up.

"I know perfectly well how much I can learn from him. I suppose San explained to you that it was all a terrible misunderstanding? I am sincerely sorry for dragging you into the midst of our private affairs. I should have acted less impulsively. I'm glad I couldn't go through with it and that I didn’t kill someone who had nothing to do with it."

Wooyoung, even though he was talking to Seonghwa, kept casting glances at San. Evidently he was still trying to figure out whether or not he was in danger, but anyway seeing him so close to Seonghwa did not please him.

Seonghwa sighed. "Surely this apology is less heartfelt than the one I heard just now from San. But for now I accept it. San, you said you would have done whatever we asked, right?”

“I will.”

“Then come back here tomorrow."

"No."

"All right."

Wooyoung and San spoke simultaneously and then cast a glance at each other.

"See you tomorrow, then," Seonghwa said, ignoring Wooyoung, and then walked back into the house.

Chapter Text

Wooyoung, as soon as Seonghwa was back into the house, held out his hand to San, who ran up to him.

Wooyoung tried to drag him away from the dwelling, but found himself being dragged instead. San, for a new vampire, was really fast; he would have probably became faster than Hongjoong one day. What's more, Wooyoung still hadn't fed that day; he felt more exhausted than ever. He was physically and emotionally strained.

The fact that San was feeding on him, his own hunger, the battle, finding out that he had taken the biggest blunder of his life, the fact that he had let San, Hongjoong, Yeosang down — it would have been too much for anyone. 

When he had woken up just now, he had been shocked. First of all, he could not understand how San had managed to slip out of his arms and then out of the house without him noticing. For a creature who did not need sleep, he had really collapsed. But most of all, the fear of really losing him, for the second time, this time for good, had left him exhausted.

He had quickly realized what he had gone to do. San was exactly the kind of person who decides to sacrifice himself for the greater good. That's why Wooyoung loved him. That's why, now, he was hating him. 

As soon as they stopped, he railed at him. "What did you think you were doing?! Can you tell me? You were going to allow Seonghwa to kill you, asking him to spare us, weren't you? How could you even think to do that?!»

"Wooyoung, all of this happened because of me. To avenge me. How could I let anything happen to you? You gave me this second chance at life, but we both know that I don't have it in me. I will never be able to fit in completely. I thought, 'better me than all of us.'"

Wooyoung had to count to ten before answering. "...Better you than all of us? I would rather die a thousand times and I’d literally kill anyone as long as I don't have to see you die! How could you do this to me?"

San took a moment to answer. "...However, it didn't happen. Seonghwa understood. I think it will take a while for others to forgive us too, but the important thing is that they understood my sincerity. Everything went well."

"But you couldn't have known that before. Everything could have gone wrong, too. Didn't you think about that?"

"I'm sorry, Wooyoung. I wanted to help you."

"Don't do that again."

With that said, he threw his arms around his neck, finally bursting into tears. San was stunned, it took him a moment for him to hold him, stroking his back reassuringly. 

"Oh, Wooyoung. Breathe. I'm right here. I'm so sorry."

Wooyoung hid his face in San's neck, laying a kiss on the soft skin. As had happened to him before, his instinct told him to sink his canines into it. He recoiled, pulling away from San slightly.

"Let's go home," San said.

"Yes."

After a moment, Wooyoung stopped abruptly again. "San. About what you and Seonghwa said to each other — you're not really going back to him tomorrow, I hope."

"Of course I will. You don't have to worry, though. I'm sure he won't hurt me."

"Then what the hell does he want?!"

"I don't know what he wants — I guess I'll find out there and then. But I can assure you that he won't do anything to me. He would have had every opportunity to kill me today if he had wanted to. Besides...I trust him. I can't explain it, but my gut tells me that he will be someone important to me. Is that strange?"

"What is that supposed to mean? I don't want you to go."

“Are you perhaps jealous?” said San with a smirk. 

"Me? Not at all. I'm just worried about you."

“I think you’re jealous."

Wooyoung sighed. It was useless to reason with him. Besides, maybe, in a very small part, he was right. What the hell did it mean that Seonghwa would be someone important to him? San didn't even know him.

Wooyoung stopped again. "San, drink my blood."

San looked around. "Here? Now?"

"Yes, now."

Against all common sense, Wooyoung felt the extreme need to feel him close in that special way that belonged to them only. He felt weaker by the day and had not even eaten, but he did not care. He wanted to feel that connection between them again, especially after everything that had happened in those two hellish days.

San gently held the back of his neck with one hand, his waist with the other. Wooyoung tilted his head back. As soon as San's sharp little canines sank into his skin, he finally felt good for the first time in a long time. He held San tightly, urging him not to hold back. San, to his surprise, pulled away from him not long after.

“Keep going," he found himself asking, breathless.

San shook his head. «You’re acting odd today, Wooyoung. Are you sure you're okay? Do you need to eat?"

"Yes, but—”

"But nothing. You said healing consumes your energy. We can do that later, after you have fed. Is that okay?"

"...All right," Wooyoung finally relented, running a finger over San's lips to clean them of his blood.

"You don't know how much I wish you would do that to me," San whispered to himself.

Wooyoung was almost on the verge of saying "I know,” but he held back. He didn't want to give him an opening in which to insist. But he really did know. If he went so far as to ask him to do it even though it was blatantly hurting him, he dared not imagine how much San wanted it, not knowing about the side effects. But he had to be strong and restrain himself. He could not knowingly hurt him.

***

The next day, San, after keeping company to Yeosang, who still needed a lot of rest and spent most of his time in bed, set out to return to Seonghwa, ignoring Wooyoung's displeased look.

He was convinced he was doing the right thing. The look on Hongjoong and Yeosang's faces when they had learned that they were safe and would not have to give up that house had been priceless. Besides, he had wanted to meet Seonghwa again, although he did not know what Seonghwa wanted from him.

He had never been a person with many friends, his only real friend was Wooyoung, but he was not just a friend, he had never been. Sure, now he had Yeosang and Hongjoong, but he had literally came between their head and neck. Accepting each other had been a forced choice. Seonghwa was the first person in a long time with whom he had felt a connection even though he did not necessarily have to spend time with him and without being attracted to him. Was it foolish to hope to become... his friend? Probably the others would have called him 'childish'.

Somewhat like the previous day, Seonghwa surprised him halfway, appearing out of nowhere. 

"San. I was wondering if you’d really come."

"Sure. I told you I would."

Seonghwa smiled. "You keep your word, I see. Let’s take a walk?"

San was a little puzzled, but followed him. “Uhm — why did you ask me to come? Do I have to do something?"

"No. This may sound strange, but I just wanted to talk to you. I'm very curious about you. I've already told you that I've never met another vampire as compassionate and controlled as you are. You look like you're a thousand years old, not twenty."

San laughed, surprised. "It's the first time in my life I haven't been called a brat."

Seonghwa smiled amused, but quickly turned serious. "So will you tell me how you and your clan do it? I want to know your secret. How do you control yourself? How do you keep from killing human beings? How are you... like this?"

San took a moment before answering. These were not easy questions. "Well... the others' choice not to kill, as far as I know, was up to Wooyoung. He wanted to do it out of respect for me, I think. I know it wasn't easy, though. Wooyoung had to learn mind manipulation from Hongjoong, to erase the traces, although Hongjoong himself was not an expert in the matter—”

Seonghwa interrupted him. "Mind manipulation?"

San was surprised. He thought all vampires knew it. But, in fact, for their kind you could learn only through direct experience. 

"Yes. It allows one to erase memories of humans, or alter them. It’s a very complex technique to tell the truth. They say neither Yeosang nor I are ready to try it yet. The risk of driving the subject crazy or erase completely his memory is very high — if so, sparing him would have served no purpose other than to ruin his life. I know that Wooyoung failed many times before he succeeded. Moreover, he still cannot erase memories. He can only manipulate them so that the victims remember reality differently."

"Unbelievable. I was wondering how you could keep from killing without everyone knowing about you, actually."

San nodded. "If you think about it, it's the best way. It's also more practical, from a purely rational point of view. You don't leave corps around. Fewer questions."

"Do you think... I could learn?"

San smiled. "I can ask Wooyoung to teach you."

Seonghwa immediately nodded. "Do you think he would do that?"

"I think it would be a good way for him to repay you."

"Thank you, I would appreciate that. However, that still doesn't explain how you do it."

"Do what?"

“How you control yourself. When I was turned, I used to kill dozens of people a day. The vampire who created me had half a mind to kill me. It seemed impossible to keep me under control."

San pondered the question for a moment. "Yeosang also told me something similar. As for me, I think it's thanks to Wooyoung. I too would have killed the humans I fed on if he had not physically prevented me from doing so. But most of all..."

He interrupted himself. Talking about this... was very personal. 

“Most of all?" asked Seonghwa, pressing him.

San took a breath. He had to take a leap of faith; after all, Seonghwa had given him no reason not to trust him. 

"This is going to sound strange, but... I, most of the time... feed on Wooyoung. When I first woke up, his blood was the first I drank. My thirst was always kept in check because whenever I felt unwell, he offered me his blood. He still does to this day."

Only after he finished speaking did he dare to look Seonghwa in the face. He looked shocked, but he also had a glint in his eyes.

"I knew you were special! I only met one other vampire couple who drank each other's blood! My creator and her partner. I had never met anyone else like them!"

San brightened up. "Really? Then you must surely know more about this than we do! For Wooyoung and me it was all about instinct, he had never done it before!"

Seonghwa laughed. “Of course he didn’t. It is possible to do that with only one person in one’s entire existence. It’s also almost impossible to find that person."

"What do you mean?"

Seonghwa sighed. "It is not necessarily the case that that person lives in the same time as you. It is not necessarily that even if you meet, you and that person are both vampires. Maybe I also met that person for me, but who knows, maybe she was human and I unknowingly ate her. Or maybe she’s not born yet. Or maybe she was born, but she remained human, and she's already dead by now. I mean, you can fall in love with more than one person in your life, but for vampires feeding each other is much more than that. After that moment, everything changes. But I guess you know that better than I do."

San felt puzzled. "I still don't understand. Why can a vampire drink the blood of only another specific vampire? Has it ever happened to — I don't know — make a mistake? Maybe you're in love with someone and you drink their blood, but it's not that person.”

Seonghwa shook his head. "Impossible. Vampire blood is poison to other vampires. It kills you within a few hours. It is the only other way to die, for us, although not many know this. Your body would never get the urge to drink poison. It can only be that specific person."

San felt his jaw drop. To think that he had almost proposed to Hongjoong and Yeosang that they feed on each other in order to prevent them from attacking human beings.

"You can think of it as a kind of...bonding. The essences of the two vampires unite. Me inside you, you inside me. You become one while physically remaining in two separate bodies. It is an unbreakable and very rare bond. You are so lucky, San, to experience this already at your age."

"But Seonghwa... what would happen if... only one of the two drank the other's blood?"

Seonghwa raised an eyebrow. "Well...the bond would not be complete. Probably, the vampire offering his blood in the long run would start to feel sick. Because he would be offering part of his soul, but he would not receive anything in return. The body would be slowly emptied of its soul and sooner or later it would be completely drained. I don't really know what could happen at that point, I don't think there is such an idiot who would refuse the bond, but definitely it’s nothing good."

San felt himself paling. Seonghwa looked at him worriedly. “San — what is it? Is something wrong?"

"Seonghwa. Only I drink Wooyoung's blood — he has never fed on mine."

Chapter Text

Wooyoung felt restless. Knowing San was with Seonghwa was freaking him out. He knew San was right and that he was probably not in danger — but still. He didn't like that situation. 

Besides, he still had to feed since the morning of the battle. He felt a burning, unbearable thirst. The problem was that at the moment he was in no condition to use mind manipulation. He would have needed a strong body and a steadfast mind. At the moment, he had neither. He did not want to ask Hongjoong to accompany him, did not want to tell him he had a problem. 

He decided to do as he had done last time, with San. He was going to knock off someone before he fed on them. He left the house, searching for some homeless guy. He found him after a longer than usual search, leaning under a bridge. The stench of piss was unbearable and almost completely covered the smell of his blood. But not entirely. Wooyoung was so hungry that he could not even manage to sneak up behind the man. The latter turned around, shocked, thinking he was some psychopath, and began to scream. 

No no no no. He was going to alert someone! Wooyoung escaped before the situation got out of hand.

Lately, nothing was going right.

He returned home, demoralized and angry at the world, only to open the bedroom door and find San standing there with an icy stare. 

Wooyoung was interjected for a moment.

"San? Weren't you with Seonghwa? I thought you would be coming back later."

San did not answer him. With two long strides he reached him, slamming the door behind him close. Then he looked at him.

"Wooyoung. Are you feeling sick these days? Ever since when you’ve been drinking my blood?"

Wooyoung felt like his heart had missed a beat.

"W-What?"

"Is that why you didn't want to fight Jongho? Is that why you can't manipulate minds anymore? That you are weaker than usual and always look tired?”

"S-San. I can explain—”

"Shut up! I'm tired of listening to your lies! I don't trust what comes out of your mouth anymore! I thought you were going to start telling me everything after we've discussed it over and over again, but I see you keep lying about the most important things!"

"Because I knew you would have no longer fed on me if I told you! I-I need it!"

"I know you need it," San said, sharp. "But you need more than just that. Now you will drink my blood."

Wooyoung froze. "I've already told you I don't want to."

"I couldn't care less. Now you're going to do it," San said, grabbing him by the collar, yanking him until he was inches from his throat. Wooyoung swallowed. Even though San's heart wasn't beating, his throat emitted no heat and he couldn't smell him from miles away — the delicate scent he emitted seemed like a poison spread through the air to stun only him. He felt his canines coming out. He was too hungry, that was the problem. Just now San had to insist on this!

Seeing that Wooyoung was not cooperating, San let him go. 

"All right then. You made me do it."

With that said, he grabbed the cutter from the desk.

"What are you doing? Put it down!"

But San did not listen to him, extending the blade, only to cut his skin along his forearm. At the sight of his blood flowing, Wooyoung's eyes turned pitch black. He ran his hands through his hair. What the hell did San think he was doing!

San, not satisfied, ran the blade across his throat as well, then approached him, abruptly grabbing him by the hair.

"Drink!"

Finding himself literally with the temptation he was desperately trying to escape from in front of his nose, Wooyoung could not take it antmore. He grabbed San's arm, licking the blood from the wound. He felt a rush of adrenaline he had not felt in years. San's blood tasted the same as when he was human, only better. It was indescribable. It seemed to him that that taste represented perfectly...San. He quickly realized that the wound on his forearm had already healed, so he moved on to the one on his throat, licking and kissing it until he felt it heal under his lips.

"That's not enough Wooyoung. You have to bite."

This time, Wooyoung could not hold back. He squeezed San's waist with one arm, holding his head with the other, and then sank his canines into his throat. He had just broken the only real ban he had imposed on himself for years. He had never felt so free.

San clung to his shoulders, probably overwhelmed by the feeling that Wooyoung had become accustomed to. He felt San’s legs go limp, so he hurriedly carried him toward the bed, lying on top of him, never moving from his throat.

It seemed to him that all the weakness he had felt in the last period had left him. He had never felt better in his life. Terror came over him for a moment that he would not be able to stop. Would he have drained San until he passed out? He could not do that. But right now he could not imagine stopping what he was doing. However, as soon as he felt San push him weakly, he immediately recoiled, letting him go.

San looked tired and it was clear from the way he was moving how dizzy he was. Nevertheless, he pushed him, bringing himself on top of him, sinking his canines into Wooyoung's throat in turn. Perhaps it was his imagination, but if that feeling had been perfect before, today it was unimaginable. He had never felt so close to San; it felt like he was in touch with his thoughts, his emotions. 

He grabbed his hand, bringing his wrist to his lips, biting into it. He felt San tremble slightly and clench tighter against him, goose bumps forming along his arm. If Wooyoung had to go to hell, at least he would have gone there happily.

They pulled away simultaneously, to find each other's lips. Feeling his own blood in San's mouth was something he would never fully get accustomed to, but at that moment he didn't care. He felt San's hands caressing him all over his body, so he began to do the same. Not feeling his skin directly had never bothered him as much as it did that day. 

He began to tug at the hems of his shirt in a strangely clumsy way, for a 226-year-old vampire, but San understood his intentions and quickly removed his clothes, followed right away by Wooyoung.

At last he could really hold him, skin to skin, lips to lips, San's blood inside him, Wooyoung's blood inside San. It almost seemed to him like he could no longer understand anything. Was he caressing San's side, or was it his own? He had never felt so connected to a person. At that moment, making love came as natural as breathing. Wooyoung could no longer think of the hundreds of reasons why they should not do it, as usual. He did not wonder if it was really the right thing, because he could feel how San felt. He knew it was the right thing.

Once they had calmed down from the frenzy of those hours, they looked into each other's eyes.

“What the hell just happened?" asked Wooyoung, breathlessly, almost laughing.

"It's called 'bonding,'" said San.

Wooyoung raised himself up on one elbow. "Meaning?"

San seemed to feel like anything but talking, but after taking a deep breath, he began to explain. "Seonghwa told me that, for vampires, there is only one individual in the world with whom they can form a bond. It is a bond stronger than any other, and it is almost impossible to meet the person you can form it with under the right circumstances. It is sealed by drinking each other's blood. Drinking the blood of any other vampire is deadly, did you know that?"

Wooyoung shook his head, shocked by all that information. He had never heard of any of this.

"It's something that has to be done to each other, or it consumes you," San continued. "That's why you were sick, you dumbass!" he concluded, punching him in the head.

"Ouch!" complained Wooyoung. "And how was I supposed to know that! I was feeling worse and worse, how could I do that to you? I thought you would feel bad too."

"Maybe by talking to me about it, we would have understood together, don't you think?! Let's just forget about it. I don't feel like arguing now.”

"Unbelievable how I’ve never heard anything about this bond in over two hundred years!"

San smirked. "I have to teach you everything here."

"Yeah, yeah. This old man can only bow to your knowledge. But anyway — now can we always feed on each other? Do you think we will still need to drink human blood?"

"I don't know. I guess we'll figure it out in time," San said, trailing off the words, his eyes closed.

"I know you're tired... but before you sleep, there's one last thing we absolutely must talk about. Your death. I want to know how it happened."

Wooyoung saw San stiffen and breathe in sharply. He was sorry to bring up the subject after such a moment between them, but not knowing had been haunting him for days. He had to figure out who exactly had decided to hurt the person he loved.

"I know it's hard to talk about it. The trauma is still fresh, like it happened just a few days ago, right? But I need to know. Please."

San relented, opening his eyes. 

"I really don't feel like talking about it. Thinking about it again..." he shivered. "But I understand that you want to know..."

Wooyoung waited patiently for San to start telling.

"There is one person I have never told you about, his name is Mingyu. I don't know his last name. He was a regular at the flower shop. He used to come every day. The thing is, he didn't come so much for the flowers — he came to see me. He was interested in me and he made it very clear. He was almost harassing me, but I couldn't do much about it because he was our best customer and Mrs. Kim had recommended that I’d be nice to him."

Wooyoung began to see red. "And why the hell didn't you ever tell me about it?! I - I would have done something!"

San gave him a dirty look. "That's exactly why I didn't tell you about it. My job was at stake. You know how much hell Mrs Kim put me through. If our best customer got punched by my friend, what do you think she would have done? She would have kicked me out. I really loved that job..."

Wooyoung turned his head away, embarrassed. San was probably completely right.

"Anyway... what happened?"

"Nothing. I mean...he came to the shop that day just as I got off work. We had decided to close a little early. You weren't there, so I started walking as soon as I saw him. Seeing that he was following me, I started wandering around. I didn't want him to follow me home."

"That's why you were in that alley. And then?"

"He started attacking me with questions. He told me he knew I wasn't going home, that I had been flirting with him for weeks only to have him come back and buy from our shop... he started accusing me of crazy stuff. In short, the argument got heated, and it ended — as you saw. Please don't make me say anything more."

Wooyoung felt a burning anger in his chest. Had that son of a bitch stalked San for weeks, attacked him, and left him to die alone in that dirty alley? He saw that San was lost in his own thoughts, looking distant and sorrowful. He held him close.

"I'm sorry I got you talking about this. Don't think about it anymore."

"No. You were right, I had to tell you. But when I think back...I feel like I'm reliving the fear I felt at that moment. I feel his hands all over me again. It makes me sick."

Wooyoung did not know what to say. He was shocked. He had always been convinced that he knew everything about San, but instead he had hidden from him an important detail of his life that had led to his death. 

"I hope you won't let this go unpunished," Wooyoung said softly, trying not to raise his voice.

To his surprise, San looked at him with an icy stare. "Of course not. What if he does it to someone else? I-I want to make him suffer."

Wooyoung smiled. His human San would have never said such a thing. But vampire San...that was a whole different story. 

"We will take care of it as soon as possible."

San closed his eyes again. Wooyoung leaned his head against San’s chest, laying a kiss on it before falling asleep in turn in a few seconds, imagining ripping the guy's head off.

Chapter Text

The next morning, when they got up they went to the living room to tell the others what happened. Hongjoong, sitting on the sofa, looked at them, raising an eyebrow. He moved his finger a couple of times between them.

"You two. There’s something different about you."

San and Wooyoung exchanged a glance, smiling.

"Have you finally made up?"

"Not only that," Wooyoung said. "San made several interesting discoveries yesterday. Yeosang!" he shouted.

Yeosang put his nose out of his room. By now he was strong enough to move and get out, but the healed flesh of his shoulder was still tender and sore. He still spent most of his time sleeping to save energy and heal faster. 

"What is it?"

"You come down here too. We have some things to tell you."

Yeosang arrived at the sofa dragging his feet, throwing himself on it with a dramatic sigh. Wooyoung held back a laugh; according to him, he had taken a liking to being spoiled and pampered by everyone because of his condition.

Wooyoung took San's hand, clearing his throat. He did not know where to begin.

"So, we wanted to tell you that last night, San and I... we... tightened the bond."

Yeosang raised an eyebrow. "What is that supposed to mean? You got married?"

Wooyoung felt himself blushing furiously. San evidently decided to rescue him and answer. 

"Yesterday I mentioned to Seonghwa that I was drinking Wooyoung's blood, and he told me many things about it that we did not know. First of all, under normal circumstances, drinking the blood of a vampire is poisonous. It leads to death within minutes, so — don't do it.”

Yeosang looked at Hongjoong in disgust. "It would never cross my mind to do such a thing."

Hongjoong ignored him. "Very interesting. I don't think many people are aware of it, I’d never heard of it. We could use this information to our advantage, should the day come when we have to defend ourselves."

"Indeed, much cleaner and simpler than ripping out a heart and setting it on fire," Wooyoung commented.

"Moreover," San resumed, "He explained to me that in the rare case you can drink it, it’s because those two vampires are destined to form a bond. It is the strongest bond possible for our species. Each vampire is destined for one, but not many are lucky enough to find it."

Wooyoung and San looked at them full of expectation, eager to see their reaction. Hongjoong and Yeosang remained silent for a moment, impassive. The first to speak was Yeosang.

"Honestly, I'm not very surprised. It's been since Wooyoung came home six years ago, enthusiastically telling us about a certain brat he had helped with the frogs of the science experiment, that I knew there was something going on between you two."

"Yeah. Besides, I'd never seen two vampires wanting to feed on each other — that would never cross my mind."

"Then I hope you find someone who will make you change your mind," San smiled.

"Does that mean that you also... drank his blood?" asked Yeosang to Wooyoung.

Wooyoung nodded, "I should have done that long ago. But I couldn't know that. That's why I've been sick for the last period. But don't worry about me, I'm fine now. In fact, I've never been better."

"And are you... still hungry?"

"If the question is whether we still need human blood, we don't have the answer yet. We are not hungry now, but we can’t say in the long run. Now excuse us, we have something to do," Wooyoung said, getting up from the sofa, followed by San.

"Where are you going?"

"...Hunting," San replied.

"But didn't you just say you weren't hungry?"

"It's a bit of a special hunt," said San, before heading out the door.

Wooyoung and San walked toward the flower shop where San had previously worked. Wooyoung knew that walking through those alleys again filled San with melancholy and inevitably made him think of his family and the life he had had to give up. But soon he would have felt better.

Wooyoung lowered the hood of San’s sweatshirt over his head. If they ran into someone San knew, it wouldn’t have be ideal. As soon as they reached the shop, San hid, while Wooyoung entered.

"Good morning, sir! How can I help you?" asked Mrs. Kim, with an overly sweet smile. At her side was a new girl in her late teens looking terrified.

"Do you remember me, ma'am? I once bought a rose."

"Dear boy, many people come in to buy flowers. Unfortunately, I don't remember you."

Wooyoung nodded. "But some come more often than others, am I right?" he asked coldly.

Mrs. Kim's smile relented for a moment. 

"You really don't remember me? I was a friend of San's. I used to pick him up from work every day. I came every day but one."

Hearing San mentioned, Mrs. Kim paled.

"Eunchae, go to the back and see if we still have blue orchids, please."

The little girl, sensing the odd atmosphere, disappeared in an instant.

"What do you want from me?" asked Mrs. Kim immediately. "I've already told everything to the police! I have nothing to do with San’s death!"

"In my opinion, indirectly you have a lot to do with it. But today I am not here for you. I am here because you know the killer."

The old lady seemed on the verge of fainting. "I beg your pardon! I don't know any murderer! I have already been questioned by the police, I told you! I don't know anything about what happened to San since he went out that door!"

"Do you know someone named Mingyu? I know you remember him. He came here every day for all the period San worked for you."

“W-What? You mean that handsome guy would be...? Impossible! He really liked San a lot! He even came back here after he disappeared, asking me where he was and to call him if I had any information about him! He even came to say goodbye to me when San was declared deceased. It couldn't have been him! He is such a cheerful guy..."

"Maybe you're right, or maybe I am. But there is only one way to find out. You must have that boy's data saved somewhere. Wasn’t he your top client or something?”

Mrs. Kim began to shake her head vigorously.

"N-No, I don't have his data! I don't know anything about him! All I know is that he had a crush on San and always came to the store, that's all I know!"

"But didn't you just say that he gave you his number to know about San? Look, if I'm wrong, I clearly won't do anything to the boy. If I am right, I will simply talk to the police, handing over the evidence I have collected. You just need to get me in touch with him. At worst, I will take five minutes of his time unnecessarily. But if I am right, you are covering up for a murderer."

Mrs. Kim began to fan herself, sitting down. She looked like she was about to collapse.

"Oh God...okay...what do I have to do?"

Wooyoung smiled. "Call him and tell him exactly these words. 'I know who killed San. Come here as soon as possible, I need to talk to you.' And then hang up. Don't add anything else."

“A-Alright.”

Wooyoung stayed with Ms. Kim during the phone call, not trusting her. He saw her pick up the phone with trembling hands. 

"Hello?"

"H-Hello, Mingyu? Do you remember me? I am Mrs. Kim, the owner of the 'White Primrose' shop."

"...Of course I remember, ma'am. How are you?"

She looked at Wooyoung, who gestured her to continue.

"I know who killed San. Come here as soon as possible, I need to talk to you."

With that said, she hung up the phone.

"Mother of God, the things I do at my age. What if it's true? What if he wants to kill me too!"

"You don't have to worry about that ma'am. If I'm wrong, as you think, none of this will happen," Wooyoung replied, cryptically, and then walked out of the store. 

He would have loved to finish her off as well, but San had firmly refused. The thought that that witch had forced him to put on a good face with a maniac for weeks made her just as guilty, according to Wooyoung. But everything in its own time. Karma always struck sooner or later.

Wooyoung found San crouched behind a corner fiddling with the ruby of his bracelet. Wooyoung smiled. In all those years, after all that had happened, he had never once taken it off. He curled up next to him, caressing his back.

"Are you okay? Mrs. Kim called him. He should be here quickly."

San froze for a moment.

"...I know I'm much stronger and faster than him now, but...is it normal that I'm still afraid?"

"Of course. He hurt you. It's normal for you to be scared. But soon you won't be any more. You'll see that you'll soon feel good."

The two stayed hidden and waited, and less than an hour later, Wooyoung could tell from San's eyes that the guy had arrived.

They saw him get off the bus across the street, and before he could be seen by Ms. Kim, Wooyoung grabbed him, dragging him into an alley at lightning speed.

The boy looked dumbfounded.

"Who the fuck are you! What's going on!" then he froze. "You are - San's friend?"

Wooyoung laughed. "Ah, so you knew me?"

The boy looked shocked and terrified. Indeed, it was not every day that one was dragged and pinned down in an alley. Perhaps this Mingyu was more used to being on the other side of the scene. Wooyoung observed him. He was really a good-looking guy, tall and well-built, probably some kind of athlete. Who knows how strange a big guy like him must be feeling, unable to move, pinned to a wall by a guy shorter and smaller than him. Wooyoung laughed again.

"You're crazy! Let me go! What do you want?!" 

Then, Wooyoung saw him look over his shoulder, turning as white as a corpse. As if he had seen a ghost.

"S-San...? Is it really you?"

Wooyoung let him go, stepping aside. His job was finished.

Chapter Text

"S-San...? Is it really you?"

San, looking at Mingyu, felt a mixture of fear and anger, but mostly...disgust.

Mingyu took a step toward him. "I thought you were - you were—”

"You thought I was dead? Indeed, I am dead."

With that said, he pounced on him, pinning him to the wall. Mingyu looked shocked and stunned. San allowed his canines to come out and his eyes to turn pitch black. If Mingyu had been pale before, he now looked like he was about to faint.

"Let go of me! What are you? Are you a demon?! HELP! PLEASE—”

"SHUT UP!" shouted San, slamming a hand over his mouth. "No one will help you here. No one has helped me. I'm a demon, you're right, I came back from hell just for you. It was really nice of you to slam my head against the wall so many times that you opened up my skull. You really showed how much you cared about me by abandoning me dying on the ground instead of calling an ambulance."

"S-San. I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear. I-I-I panicked. When I saw you like that, I realized what I had done and - I couldn't think straight anymore! Please forgive me!"

"You harassed me for months, you stalked me, you insulted me, you tried to force yourself on me against my will, you beat me to death. Tell me, have you set your eyes on your next prey yet? You don't know how much I would like to paint the wall with your brains, too."

Mingyu burst into tears, sobbing like a child.

“Please...I beg you..."

San did not think it would be possible to enjoy hurting someone...but he felt really good. So powerful. To make such a disgusting individual cry like that...he would have never thought he would ever be able to.

"Luckily for you — or unluckily, I have other plans for you. Because of you I have lost any chance to live a normal life, my job, my family, the chance to grow old. You'd better give me something to compensate me for that," he concluded, quoting the boy's last words to him at the time.

With that said, he pounced on his throat, sinking his teeth deeply into it, covering Mingyu's mouth to keep him from screaming. Mingyu flailed desperately, but San remained perfectly still as if he were made of steel. 

He pulled away from his neck. The boy, weak and distraught, collapsed on him, but San immediately knocked him to the ground, delivering a kick to his ribs. Mingyu tried to crawl away from him, but San grabbed him by the ankle, squeezing it so tightly that he screamed. 

"Where do you think you're going? Do you think this little compensation was enough?"

She dragged him back, pulled him up to sit, then slamming him against the wall. He surrounded him with his arms to keep him from moving and force him to look into his eyes. Seeing himself reflected in Mingyu's horrified eyes, he realized that he was indeed terrifying. His eyes were still black and his mouth and chin were covered with blood. He smiled.

"Do you still like me?"

Mingyu resumed crying.

"Listen to me well. Now I will tell you what will happen from today onward. You have two options. Either, right now, you go to the police and turn yourself in for killing me and spend the rest of your disgusting life in prison — or you agree to meet with me here, once a week, and make me feed on your blood, like I just did, for the rest of your life. Needless to say, in either case if you reveal to anyone about me or try to harm anyone else I will rip off your legs and arms and throw you into the river. What do you choose?" 

"I-I don't know-"

"I don't have much time, decide."

"Please forgive me."

"It's not among the options."

Mingyu began to sob again, unable to speak.

“Alright, listen to me," San resumed, "Since I see you indecisive, let's meet next week here at this time. I think I'll be really hungry. We'll talk about it after I eat. And remember. Don't even think about running away or not showing up, now that I've tasted your blood I can recognize it from miles away and I'd find you wherever you'd go," he whispered, breathing his bleeding throat.

Looking at him, pathetic with snot in his nose and tears in his eyes, San smiled. "Come on, aren't you happy? I finally granted you a date after all the times you asked me out. See you soon, then."

With that said, he stood up, heading toward Wooyoung, who had stood aside to observe the scene.

Wooyoung handed him a handkerchief to wipe his mouth, then they took hands and left. After running away from the area, they stopped. 

"I thought you were going to kill him," Wooyoung said.

"So did I. That was my intention. But on the spot I changed my mind. I am not a murderer. Besides, I thought that if he had decided to turn himself in, it would have given my parents peace of mind to know that the culprit had been found. I will scare him a few more times until he is convinced to do so."

"If you want, I can manipulate his mind so that he will do it right away."

San shook his head. "No. I want him to be fully aware at that moment, to do it voluntarily. I really want him to regret what he did."

"You did very well. That sounds like a very good solution to me. Besides, you didn't sound like you. Even I got scared. How do you feel?"

"...Would I be a bad person if I said I had fun and felt good?"

"No, you would be perfectly normal."

Wooyoung moved closer to kiss him, but as soon as he tried to deepen the kiss, San turned his head away. Noticing Wooyoung's confused expression, San hurried to explain. 

"I know human blood is supposed to be the best, but... I hate him so much that even his blood feels dirty to me. I'd prefer to wash myself off before I touch you."

Wooyoung, at this point, kissed his knuckles. "It's okay, I understand that. And anyway — since I drank your blood last night, I don't think even I will be able to settle for just anyone's blood anymore. Before, while you drank the blood of that scum — I didn't feel the slightest urge to do the same. I'm really beginning to think that… we'll be enough for each other."

San smiled. "Finally then, I did it. I may not have been able to change all vampires...but at least I think you and I won't have to attack people to feed ourselves anymore."

Wooyoung nodded, hugging him. "You will no longer have to force yourself to do something terrible. You will no longer have to be disgusted with me when I come back home after hurting someone."

San nodded against his throat. He felt overwhelmed with happiness. In a matter of hours he had tied the bond with Wooyoung, who had finally drunk his blood, made love with him after dreaming of that moment for years, managed to take revenge for his own death, and, as if all this were not incredible enough, he would probably no longer have to be disgusted with himself and his own nature.

"Besides," Wooyoung added. "It's not true that you couldn't change the other vampires as well. Yeosang and Hongjoong don't kill anymore, thanks to you. From what you’ve told me, even Seonghwa won't want to do that once he learns how to manipulate minds."

San broke away from him. “Wooyoung… if we really won’t need any more blood besides ours… do you think I could see my parents again? Say the truth about who I am?”

Wooyoung stayed silent for a momento, studying his hopeful expression. He sighed. “…It would be amazing. But, first of all, we have to be certain it’s safe. We should also ask for Hongjoong and Yeosang’s opinion. It’s a secret we all share.”

“…Right. I guess I can be a little more patient.”

Wooyoung resumed holding him. “Thank you for trusting me.” 

Chapter Text

Going towards home, San realised he and Wooyoung had to do something important. Noticing his stare, Wooyoung raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”

"Seonghwa. We definitely need to go and thank him. Not only did he forgave us, but he also saved you by telling me about the bond. Besides, you have to apologize properly this time.”

Wooyoung grimaced and San’s gaze hardened.

“Right now?”

“Yeah, Wooyoung. Right now.”

“…Alright. He keeps making me uncomfortable, but he was very fair to us. Let's go."

San and Wooyoung walked to their house to explain to Hongjoong and Yeosang what they had done to Mingyu, and then headed for the house in the forest, looking for Seonghwa.

As soon as they were close, San began calling his name.

They did not have to wait long for the handsome light-haired vampire to show up. 

"San! And… Wooyoung. I take it you were able to tell him about the bond?"

San nodded, "Yes. Thank you Seonghwa, thank you very much. I don't know what would have happened without you," San said, rushing to hug him. Seonghwa immediately accepted the hug, touched by that naive and spontaneous gesture of tenderness.

San turned around with Seonghwa's arm still around his shoulders, only to see Wooyoung with a raised eyebrow. San cleared his throat. Wooyoung hastened to collect himself.

"...Seonghwa. I came to thank you, too. I've been out of my mind lately, making too many mistakes in a short period of time. Thank you for showing San the way to help me. Thank you for being kind to him, forgiving and sparing him, despite what our clan has done to you. I am really sorry for hurting you all for no reason."

Seonghwa sighed, crossing his arms. "...I will not forgive you without receiving anything in return. San has told you what I want, right?"

"You want me to teach you mind manipulation."

"Yes. And not only to me. To everyone in my group who is able to learn. I want you to explain me exactly how it works. Do you accept, or would you prefer that we visit your home, as you did with us?"

"I accept," Wooyoung immediately replied. San held back a sigh of relief.

Seonghwa smiled. “Very well. First of all, tell me why San and Yeosang cannot learn."

"Mind manipulation requires great knowledge of one's potential, control and a calm state of mind. Perhaps San may have told you that there is a risk of permanently damaging the subject's mind. In San's case, he is still too young, plus at this day he wouldn’t be able to handle the consequences of a few inevitable mistakes. Yeosang, on the other hand — he doesn't have enough self-control and gets too caught up in emotions. I think in your case there is no problem learning, but as for your clan — I don't know them."

Seonghwa nodded, thoughtful. After a moment he replied. "Jongho is my right-hand man. He is 119 years old. I think he is very steady, I would like you to test him. Mingi, at the moment, can't do a damn thing, thanks to you, while Yunho has just recovered and is very angry and unstable at the moment. Those two were friends even when they were human, they were turned by the same person. However, I think they are both very valid and they might try it later on, too."

Wooyoung nodded, "Great, then. Call Jongho. San and I will wait for you here. If that Yunho is as angry as you say, maybe it's better if he doesn't see us," he said, casting a worried glance at San, who had blinded him. 

San, however, had a different idea. "No... I... would like to go and apologize to him again."

Seonghwa smiled at him. "Follow me, then."

San held out his hand to Wooyoung, who immediately took it with a sigh and then started running after Seonghwa.

As soon as they arrived, they noticed Yunho and Jongho arm wrestling on a bench outside the house. The two vampires immediately stopped, glaring at them.

San, who had prepared such a good speech to say, found himself stammering. "H-Hello, Jongho, hello Yunho...I...came to apologize...again..."

"Now that I see you, I feel even more like punching you," Yunho said. 

Wooyoung seemed about to say something, but San gave him a warning look.

"Don't be like that," Seonghwa scolded them. "San is my new little brother, don't be rude, he has already explained everything that happened. Wooyoung is his bond, so be nice to him too. Also, he will soon teach us something really amazing."

At this, the two vampires raised their eyebrows, curious.

"What if I told you that they have revealed to me how they feed without killing and that soon we could do it too?"

At this, the two quickly rose from the bench. 

"Really?!" exclaimed Jongho.

Wooyoung took a step forward. "Of course. But don't think it will be easy. It took me months to learn and I'm older than all of you."

"Yunho," Seonghwa said. "We agreed with Wooyoung that you will learn later, together with Mingi, when you both have fully recovered."

"And what do I do in the meantime?!”

Seonghwa pointed his head at San, who smiled at him somewhat awkwardly.

Yunho huffed as he entered the house, giving San a quick nod to make him follow him. San hurried off, leaving Wooyoung, Seonghwa, and Jongho to their first lesson.

Yunho sat beside the bed where Mingi was still unconscious. San looked at his closed eyes, uncomfortably. Who knows how long it would have taken him to fully heal. The heart was the only vampire organ that could not be regenerated from nothing, so if you burned it, the vampire would have ceased to live. But it was still the slowest organ to heal. Nevertheless, to think that someone could heal after such a wound was still mind-blowing to San. The vampire body was truly amazing.

"...So it is true that you have a technique for not killing humans. Is it as difficult as...your bond said?"

"I think so, but actually I’ve never tried. I'm too young. Besides, I don't think I'll need to learn..." replied San, thinking back to Wooyoung's delicious warm blood. "Look, I know I've told you before, but I'm so sorry about your eyes. I'm glad you're okay now, but it must have hurt a lot. The thing is, while you were strangling me, I felt like you were the person who killed me. I panicked."

"...Don't worry. As you said, I was strangling you. You were just defending yourself. Also, come to think of it, you saved Mingi from Wooyoung. Thank you. He and I have been friends for a good 86 years. We became schoolmates in 1932. Then we became vampires together. I can't imagine being without my best friend for eternity. I got really scared."

"I understand you well," San said, thinking of Wooyoung. "I hope we can all get along in the future," San added, venturing a smile.

"...Who knows, maybe," Yunho said, returning it shyly.

Chapter Text

"Thank you, San," Mingi said in a rough voice, after San had moistened his lips with an ice cube. 

He had awakened a few days ago. San, Wooyoung, Hoongjoong and Yeosang had visited him after getting permission from Seonghwa. Mingi did not remember anything about the day of the accident, so forgiving them had come easier for him than for others. San liked spending time with him. He was a one-of-a-kind, sensitive guy, plus, even if he was bedridden, he would always make him laugh.

Since Wooyoung had started teaching Seonghwa and Jongho mind manipulation, they spent almost every day in the forest with them. 

After a short time, Hongjoong and Yeosang had also wanted to join them and had gone to apologize to the group for everything that had happened. Actually, Jongho had apologized to Yeosang too for almost pulling his arm off, scratching his head in embarrassment. Now, inexplicably, the two of them had become inseparable and did nothing but play pranks on each other constantly.

It was good there, in the middle of nowhere, free to be fast, strong, loud — themselves.

Seeing Seonghwa and Jongho's obvious progress in mind manipulation, their smiles when they returned victorious from a hunt with Wooyoung, even Yunho had softened toward the group. He couldn't wait for Mingi to be better to start learning that technique as well.

They had all agreed that Hongjoong would teach them, so that he and Wooyoung would share the work. After much insistence, Yeosang had obtained that he, too, would have had a chance to try learning together with Yunho and Mingi.

As for San — he was not interested in doing so. To his immense delight, he and Wooyoung had discovered that now that the bond had been established, they no longer needed anything but each other. He would have never needed to manipulate someone's mind so that they would not remember being attacked by him. Every night, he and Wooyoung found each other's arms in that oh-so intimate, personal, perfect exchange. It was the moment San waited for all day, and he knew it was the same for Wooyoung.

The only human from whom San had continued to drink blood was Mingyu, who had endured it a full five weeks before giving up and turning himself in to the police. Honestly, San had been looking forward to it; all his bravado and confidence when he had threatened and frightened him were just an act. 

The truth was that his blood, although it was just normal human blood, disgusted him. Even when he was the one with power, with his teeth sunk deep into his throat, feeling Mingyu’s hands touching him, even though they were pushing him instead of holding him...it distressed him to death. Even though there were tears on his face instead of a smile. They brought him right back to that terrible day that he knew could not forget for all eternity. 

Seeing San come home in tears and then rush to the shower every week, sometimes throwing up, Wooyoung had been on the verge of intervening and manipulating Mingyu's mind to make him go to the police, but fortunately San had managed to stop him. Mingyu had eventually turned himself in, just as he had planned, and would have lived forever with the fear that San had managed to inject into him. That nightmare was over. Justice had been served. 

After giving this comfort to himself and his parents, he had begun to insist on seeing the latter. By now it was clear to him that he would not harm them, but the vampires were reluctant to allow him to reveal their secret to humans. Eventually, in the face of his insistence and desperation, Wooyoung and Seonghwa did their very best to help him convince all of the others. If they had not had the privilege and good fortune to live with their family in their time, they could not deprive San of that. His parents had a few years to live, when compared to the rest of eternity, so it was not fair to stole from San that time.

And when he had seen them again, oh, what a moment. He had been accompanied by Wooyoung, of course. His hands were shaking. As soon as his mother had seen his face, she had dropped the pot she was holding and had burst into tears. She and his father had wrapped him in their arms, and all three had cried with joy. He had felt like a child again, in their embrace, the relief of not yet having to say goodbye to those who had given him life was too much. The truth was that his parents did not care about what he had become, they were just happy that by a miracle they could hug their beloved kid again. His father had told Wooyoung: "Thank you for bringing our son back to us. Thank you for always watching over him. Thank you, thank you, thank you." Wooyoung had also cried and let himself be held.

Yunho entered the house, distracting San from his own thoughts, patting him on the back. 

"I'll take care of Mingi, Sanie. It's my turn to be the caregiver."

"Hey!" protested Mingi. "San loves to spend his time locked in this dusty hole with me."

"Yeah, right, but as much as he loves spending time with you, someone has arrived who he definitely likes better than you," retorted Yunho, flicking his forehead.

San quickly turned. "Have Wooyoung and the others returned from hunting?"

Yunho nodded, smiling. San stood up. "Mingi, before I go home I'll stop by to say bye to you. And tomorrow I want to see you on your feet."

"Ah, the young optimism..." said Mingi with a dramatic sigh, making him laugh.

San left the house to see Wooyoung returning with Seonghwa and Jongho.

"So how did it go?" asked Hongjoong immediately.

"Good," smiled Wooyoung. "Seonghwa succeeded on his own. Jongho has to work on it some more, but at least he managed to stop himself before he screwed up the poor guy's mind.”

Seonghwa had a proud and satisfied smile on his face, and as soon as he noticed San had left the house, he winked at him. San felt himself swelling with pride. Over the course of the last period they had become very close. Seonghwa was the brother he had always wanted, plus he had confessed to San how much it hurt him to harm people, how much he envied Wooyoung for being able to build a relationship with him while he was still human. San hoped with all his heart that he too could make it soon too. He didn't deserve to hate himself like that; none of them did. 

Hongjoong slapped a hand on Yeosang's back. "Soon it will be your turn too!"

"I bet even if I start later, I'll be able to learn before him," he said, pointing at Jongho with mocking scorn. 

"Ah, you think so? Watch out, I'll finish pulling your arm off!"

With that said, they launched themselves into a chase that would have probably lasted all afternoon. San tried to follow their lightning-fast movements with his eyes, laughing. They may have been a hundred years old, but San believed they were much more childish than he was, regardless of what everyone else said.

"Seonghwa, today I found something you might be interested in," Hongjoong said, pulling a book of poetry out of his jacket. "It's the book you were telling me about last week, the one you read many years ago but was nowhere to be found. Well, I found it. I thought you might have liked to read it again."

Seonghwa's eyes lit up. "Where did you find it?? Unbelievable...I don't know how to thank you! Come, I’ll read my favourite poems to you!"

With that said, he grabbed him by the arm, dragging him to sit on the wooden steps in front of the front door. The two of them had made instant friends, and honestly, together they made ad intimidating and endearing pair. 

San and Wooyoung looked into each other's eyes for a few moments, finally alone.

"Hey," Wooyoung said softly.

"Hey."

"Do you want to go somewhere a little more private?"

San couldn’t have asked for more. They began to run away from the dwelling, then climbed a tree, hiding among the leaves, straddling a branch, facing each other.

"It's great that they all get along so well," Wooyoung said. "But sometimes I would like some peace and quiet — just with you."

San breathed in the fresh scent of resin, mixed with Wooyoung's deep and intoxicating one. He moved a little closer to him. He was so handsome. He would have never got tired of looking at his dark, bright eyes, his wry little smile. He reached out a hand to fix an unruly lock behind his ear.

"Did the cat got your tongue?" asked Wooyoung.

"...Didn't you say you wanted some peace and quiet?"

Wooyoung laughed. "Touché. But I didn't mean that I wanted you to be quiet. I want to know every thought that goes through your mind. Without exception."

San took his wrist, tugging lightly at the now faded colored wooven bracelet. 

"Wooyoung, when I gave you this bracelet I told you that as long as it didn't break we would have stayed together. How was I supposed to know it would have had to last for all eternity? You don't think it will bring us bad luck when it breaks, do you?"

Wooyoung smiled, lowering his gaze to their hands. "I don't think bad luck would dare to get in your way. You're too terrifying when you're angry."

San smiled, thinking back to all the times he had gotten angry recently. They probably exceeded all the times he had been angry during all of his human life.

"Wooyoung...when did you figure out you loved me? I mean...I've had a crush on you ever since you opened that window and saved the frogs of the science lab. When I first told you about my feelings, you told me I didn't know what I was talking about. As you see, I knew it perfectly well. For you — when was the moment you knew you loved me?"

Wooyoung thought about it for a moment, struggling. "Actually... there wasn't really a specific moment. You were just a child when we met, but the affection I felt for you was unimaginable. I don't know when it turned into something else. I can't tell you the exact moment when I began to desire you in that way — but I can tell you one thing. I have always loved you. My love has only changed form over the years."

San felt himself blush. He leaned forward, stopping inches from Wooyoung's face, hoping for a kiss. 

"Now I'll ask you something," Wooyoung said instead.

San pulled back to look better at him, he seemed strangely uncomfortable and was not looking at him.

"Ask me anything you want."

“After everything that happened, now that you understand how it works — what would you have preferred? Would you have preferred to die in that alley, or this life?"

San raised his eyebrows, surprised. Was Wooyoung still secretly tormenting himself over this? Seeing him hesitate, Wooyoung continued.

"Because I can't regret what I did. Not even though it was selfish. I know it was hard for you at first, but... you seem to be getting better. Is it just the hope that this is the case that makes me see things?"

San smiled, placing a hand on his cheek.

"The first time you asked, I had just woken up in a new body. I was terrified. I was hit by an avalanche of terrible news, what could have I answered? But now — I feel fine. If I had died in that alley, I would have never have known that you loved me too, I would never have kissed you or made love with you, I wouldn't have had such great friends... I... I think I'm happy. In fact, I am happy."

Wooyoung seemed to have started breathing again. "Thank God... because I, too, am finally happy after two hundred years, ever since I met you. Once you have tasted happiness, it is not easy to give it up, but I would have never wanted my happiness at the expense of yours."

San smiled. Wooyoung had been his firm point for years, but only recently had he realized how fragile he was. He, too, wanted to become a support, for him. He was only 20 years old, but he had an eternity to learn. He leaned forward.

"Can I have my kiss now?"

Wooyoung placed a hand on his cheek, holding back a laugh. 

"As many as you want, for eternity."