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It had been a shitty mission if you asked Andy and the sooner she forgot the mission the better. It was therefore she was looking forward to sitting in the tub filled with hot water eating baklava and drinking a beer or ten. Joe had called and said that they all were heading for Málaga for the winter, which suited Andy perfectly because it was the safe house with the biggest tub. When Andy entered the living room, she wasn't greeted by her family but by a donkey nibbling at the sofa.
"Nicolò?" Andy shouted. "What have I told you about adopting more strays?"
"It wasn't him," Booker replied as he walked past Andy looking at his phone at the football match. Joe was right about it being a terrible and disgusting habit to take your phone with you while you were in the bathroom, but Booker didn't care because France was playing England and France was winning. "It was Nile."
Booker sat down in his favourite chair and the moment he sat down he turned off his phone and looked at the telly instead.
"She rescued the donkey from some ass," Booker laughed, pretty proud of himself for that joke. "That was beating the donkey because it wasn't walking fast enough. Let's just say that the ass will never do that again."
"And where is Nile?" Andy wanted to know as she looked at the donkey.
"Picking up food for the donkey," Booker replied. "She even named the donkey after you because it ate all the baklava in one go."
The donkey walked over to Booker and placed its head on the armchair, so Booker could scratch the donkey between the ears.
"You like that," Booker said without taking his eyes off the telly as he scratched the donkey. "Don't you, Andromache?"
"What?" Andy asked. "Are you saying there isn't more baklava left?"
At that moment Andy turned around and looked at Nile, who was holding a bag with carrots in her hands.
"Hi Andy," Nile said. "You're back sooner than I thought."
"I can see that," Andy replied. "Why did you bring the donkey back here when..."
"You mean smuggle," Booker said. "She first smuggled the donkey into Spain from Egypt before bringing it back to the safe house."
"And you helped her," Andy said. "Why would you do that?"
Booker pointed at the telly. Now that Andy looked at the telly it was bigger than the last time.
"You're a help as always," Andy said.
"Thank you," Booker replied.
"It wasn't meant as praise," Andy said. "Nile, why is there a donkey in the living room?"
"Because she was bleeding quite badly from a wound on her leg," Nile replied as she offered the donkey a carrot, who took it. "I had hoped Joe and Nicky would be here by now, so they could have a look at her."
The donkey dropped the carrot on the floor before giving Booker's arm a push for more ear scratching.
"I know how you feel about carrots, Andromache," Booker said as he scratched the donkey again.
"Stop calling the donkey, that," Andy said irritated. "Why did you name the donkey after me?"
"I did not name the donkey after you. I called her Maggie," Nile replied. "It was Booker who did it."
"Was not," Booker protested. "I don't name things or animals like others do."
"Oh really," Nile said. "You just called the telly for your new love."
"Did not," Booker protested. "As I said before...."
"Please save it until I'm gone," Andy cut in. "The donkey can stay until Joe and Nicky have looked at it. Then you rehomed it. No, questions asked. Understood?"
"Understood," Nile replied. "And I promise."
Andy nodded as she walked over to Booker, where she slapped his nape.
"What have I done now?" Booker wanted to know.
"That's for naming the donkey after me," Andy replied as she slapped Booker in the same spot again. "And if I hear you call the donkey Andromache one more time, I'll show you the sharp side of my labrys."
Andy picked up her backpack together with her labrys and left the living room. It only took a couple of seconds before the door to the bathroom was slammed hard. Nile kneeled next to the donkey to have a look at the leg.
"How's the wound?" Booker wanted to know.
"It's still not good," Nile replied worriedly. "Could you please call Joe and Nicky to ask them to hurry?"
Booker nodded as he picked up the phone.
"While you do that," Nile said. "I'm getting more baklava."
Joe and Nicky arrived around dinner time. When Joe saw the donkey he ran over to it and scratched its face.
"Oh, are you a beautiful one," Joe said with a smile. "And cute too."
"You're making stupid noise again," Booker said. He was watching "Predator".
"Do not," Joe protested.
"Yes, you do, but it's adorable," Nicky said. "Where's Nile?"
"Getting more baklava," Booker replied. "Andromache ate the last tray."
"That's nothing new," Joe replied. "I hope Nile brings more than one tray."
"Not that Andromache," Booker replied. "This Andromache."
Booker pointed at the donkey with a smirk.
"You're living life on the edge, Book," Nicky said. "And you have clearly not learned from your mistakes."
"That's young people for you," Joe replied. "Hi, Nile. Love your donkey."
"Thanks, Joe," Nile replied as she placed the four trays with baklava on the table. "And I'm glad to see you both. I need your help."
The donkey walked over to the table and Nile quickly took the trays with baklava and raised her arms over the donkey's head.
"No, Maggie. These are not for you," Nile said. "Give me a moment. I need to give Andy these."
Nile walked towards the room where Andy was staying in with the donkey after her.
"That animal stays out of my room," Andromache said when Nile opened the door. "And it better stay away from my baklava."
When Nile wanted to hand Andy the trays with baklava, the donkey gave Nile a push so she dropped half of the trays on the floor, and the donkey started to eat the baklava.
"Seriously?" Andy asked.
"Sorry, Andy," Nile said as she handed the last two trays with baklava to Andy. "I promise to get you more baklava."
Nile started to pull in the donkey's halter so they could get away from the rage of Andy.
"Come on, Maggie," Nile said as she pulled in the halter, but the donkey kept on eating the baklava on the floor. "You're not helping your case by eating Andy's baklava."
It was actually thanks to Nicky, that Nile got the donkey out of Andy's room before the donkey could eat the baklava Andy was holding onto for dear life while swearing at the donkey, saying that even Booker had better table manners than the donkey.
"I'm so sorry, Andy," Nile said. "I promise to get you more baklava..."
"OUT!!!" Andy shouted. "NOW!!!"
Nile quickly closed the door after her.
"Suddenly an immortal life seems long," Nile said. "How long do you think Andy will be mad at me?"
"Leave Andy to me. I'll bake her favourite baklava and she will forget what happened," Nicky replied. "You said something about the donkey."
"Yes," Nile replied when something hit the door from the inside. "Maybe we should talk out in the garden."
Nicky helped Nile with dragging the donkey outside. When they walked through the living room, Joe and Booker were watching "Escape From L.A." while eating popcorn and drinking beer not noticing Nile and Nicky with the donkey.
"I was wrapping up my mission just outside Cairo when I saw a man kicking and beating Maggie because she couldn't walk as fast as normal. Let's just say that the man won't walk for a very long time," Nile explained as she scratched the donkey between the ears. "When I got back to the safe house in Cairo with Maggie, I noticed why she didn't walk so fast. She got this big wound on her left bag leg. I tried to clean it the best I could but nothing helped."
"Hold her head," Nicky said which Nile did. "And you did the right thing in both cases."
Nicky kneeled so he could have a look at the leg.
"I think she got an infection in her muscle," Nicky said. "Get Joe for me."
Nile nodded and went inside, while Nicky placed a hand on the donkey's back and scratched it.
"It will hurt for a time," Nicky said. "But it will get better."
"Nicky," Joe said. "What do you need?"
"The herbs we used to treat our horses' wounds after battle and a lot of honey," Nicky replied. "Plus some clean clothes to make bandages."
"Come, Nile," Joe said. "It will be a good lesson for you."
Nile followed Joe and they left the safe house.
"Booker?" Nicky shouted. "Now please?"
It took a moment before Booker showed up.
"Help me with making an enclosure for the donkey," Nicky said. "We need to make sure she can't move around too much while the wound heals."
Booker looked toward the telly.
"The faster you help me, the faster you get back to your movie," Nicky said. "Ok?"
Booker nodded before he helped Nicky. They decided to use the boards from an old shed that had collapsed during a storm. When Joe and Nile returned, Nicky showed Nile how to attend to the donkey's wound and said she need to change the bandages every two hours for the week. Then Joe and Nicky told Nile, she could ask them for help if needed but she had to do all the work herself.
2 months later:
The donkey escaped the enclosure every day in the search of more baklava. Sometimes with success and other times not. When Nicky found the donkey in the kitchen for the fifth time eating the latest batch of baklava he decided to put the door back on its frame. It kept the donkey out of the kitchen but not Andy's room whenever the door wasn't closed. Sometimes the others were able to get the donkey out before Andy noticed it and other times not. One time, Andy found the donkey eating her cookies resulting in her never leaving the door open again.
One morning, Joe found Nile sitting next to the donkey feeding her a piece of baklava.
"Morning, kiddo," Joe said as he sat down next to Nile.
"Morning, Joe" Nile said. "Could I ask you something?"
Joe nodded.
"Maggie is ready to get a new home," Nile said. "But how do I know if I have found the right home for her?"
"Trust your feelings," Joe replied. "And you got one advantage that we didn't have when we had to rehome an animal. You got the internet."
"You're right," Nile replied. "But could I ask you to have a look at the home too? Just to ease my mind."
Joe promised and a couple of days later, Nile found a family that was searching for a new donkey for their children after their last one died. Joe and Nicky checked out the family for Nile because one thing was what the family wrote on the net another thing was reality. When the men returned, they told Nile that it was the perfect place for the donkey. When it became time for the donkey to leave everyone looked at Andy with surprise when she said she was going with Nile.
"I admit that I have met my equal in the fight for the baklava, Maggie," Andy said as she offered the donkey a slice of baklava. "And I have enjoyed our fight."
Andy looked at Nile with a look that said she shouldn't tell the rest what she just said. Nile then handed the reins to one of the children who hugged the donkey.
"I love Andromache," The other child said. "Thanks for her. I'll look after her for you."
"What?" Andy asked. "Who said that the donkey's name is Andromache?"
"We got a text that Andromache was on her way," The father replied and showed them the text. "Or am I reading it wrong?"
"Not at all," Nile replied as she placed a hand on Andy's shoulder. "We better get going."
Nile quickly guided Andy towards the car, but before Nile could get behind the steering wheel, Andy beat her to it.
"Get in," Andy ordered. "I got to have a word with a certain Frenchman."
"You do know," Nile said. "There's a big chance that he already is very far away from Málaga."
"And so?" Andy replied. "I'll find him."
Nile had no doubts that Booker would need all the head start he could have because it was only a matter of time, before Andy would find Booker. Joe and Nicky reassured Nile, that Andy wouldn't kill Booker yet. Not as long as Booker knew how to get the best whiskey in the world.