Chapter Text
Hey.
I learned... a week ago, from your mother, that...
That you were... Were, were dead. Were... You still are, nothing will change.
It feels weird to say that.
For me, you are not dead. I don't know, but I refuse to accept it... I need time, I guess.
I cried, a lot, when I found out, but now... I don't know, in my head, everything is blurred, you know?
I always think you're going to come back, just like that, in a hurry, shouting to anyone who will listen that your new board is amazing, or that you've done a new trick.
You know, even though I was laughing at you at the time, I was happy. Little by little, you were making progress, and even though it was nothing, I was happy to have someone who was close to my level. There is obviously Joe and Cherry who are quite strong, and also Langa of course, but it's not the same thing.
I mean... You know... I've always had trouble expressing myself. Don't ask me why, I don't know.
With you, I feel better, freer, calmer... You are like a big brother, I feel it. I don't know what it's like to have a big brother, but if it's really that feeling, I really wish I had felt it much sooner.
And with you, even though we weren't really talking, driving, laughing, playing or just drinking a can of soda, I was able to relax, unwind and forget the burden that is life.
And now I'm thinking, this is horrible. I was sitting quietly next to you, and even as I talked to you, watching you for long minutes, even hours, I didn't see your distress. I didn't see that you were in pain. And I blame myself, I blame myself so much....
Reki... I don't accept your death. I know you are dead, but I am still convinced that you will come back... So, I beg you, ride with me.
.Miya Chinen