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“Whatcha thinking about, kiddo? You’ve been quiet.”
Peter Parker looks over at his father figure from where he had been lost in thought gazing up at the vast night sky.
It’s his first long weekend since starting his freshman year at MIT and the pair have taken the opportunity to go on a camping trip—just the two of them.
When Tony Stark first presented the idea during one of their weekly FaceTime calls, Peter couldn’t have been more ecstatic. Since returning from the blip, the young man rarely got the chance to spend some quality one-on-one time with his former mentor.
Of course, Peter never blames the man for his busy schedule. Tony is a father now, and Peter would never want to take him away from spending time with his daughter—as much as Tony has assured him time and time again that Peter is one of his kids as well and therefore just as deserving of his time and undivided attention.
And Peter knows he’s Tony’s kid, but Morgan is different. She’s little. Little kids need their parents.
Peter should be able to handle a few months on his own. Especially since Tony’s already done so much for him in the past…
But all of that doesn’t stop him from missing the days when he was Tony’s only dependent—when he could just call or swing by unannounced and spend the day tinkering away in the lab with his favorite person in the world next to May.
Nevertheless, Peter has his father figure all to himself for the weekend and selfishly, he is thrilled to get to enjoy some much-needed Tony-Peter time—just like the good old days.
Besides, Morgan was more than happy to give up her dad for the weekend when Pepper proposed her own idea of a girls' staycation.
He imagines the pair are probably enjoying a Disney movie night in their matching PJs with mugs of Pepper’s hot cocoa in their hands right about now…
Finally meeting the older man’s gaze, Peter notices that Tony has that look on his face that always makes his insides turn to mush.
It’s the look Tony gave him when they were finally reunited after the Blip, moments before the man had murmured, hold me, kid, and wrapped the boy in a tight embrace.
While the uncharacteristically affectionate act from his mentor had surprised Peter at the time, it was what he hadn’t yet known would be the first of many hugs, kisses, and displays of affection that he would be receiving from the previously emotionally reserved man.
The Blip had changed Tony in many ways, but Peter can’t deny that being able to witness the man expressing his more tender and emotional side is the gift that keeps on giving.
Long gone are the days of Peter wishing he could cuddle up next to Tony on the couch during their movie nights and pretending to be asleep just so the man would be forced to carry him to bed in the guest room of the compound…
Now, if the boy wants a little TLC from his old man, all he has to do is ask. And yeah, Peter is glad that they’re finally there.
Tony is still gazing at him lovingly as he patiently awaits Peter’s response.
The teenager blushes, suddenly sheepish as he prepares to admit the thoughts that have been distracting him, though deep down he knows he has no reason to ever feel embarrassed in front of Tony.
“I don’t know…I guess I was just thinking about how lucky I am, you know? The sky tonight, it sort of reminds me of that night on Titan. I thought I lost everything. I thought I lost you. But then somehow, you brought us back. I knew you would…I just—I feel really lucky.”
The father and son had just finished starting a small fire when Peter suggested they lay out and stargaze. Having lived in the city of New York for his entire life, the opportunity to look up at a clear night sky never failed to astonish the teenager.
Simultaneously, Peter’s expression of pure amazement whenever he’s gaping up at the stars invariably endears his father. The boy’s childlike fascination with the world will always be one of Tony’s favorite things about Peter.
It’s also one of the first things that allowed Tony to face his fears regarding space after the Avengers incident in New York. Whenever Peter wanted to stargaze on the roof of the Tower, Tony would watch the boy’s lit-up face instead of the looming void of endless nothingness above them.
Of course, Peter was quick to catch on and Tony eventually opened up about his trauma-related phobia. It was the first indent Peter was able to chip away at in the man’s hard exterior. Tony can’t believe how far they’ve come since then.
You really know how to wiggle your way into a guy's heart, kid…
Humming in response, Tony holds up his good arm in silent invitation and Peter understands immediately. In seconds, the teenager is tucked comfortably into his father’s side.
It’s a position the pair finds themselves in on most of the nights that they have the privilege of sharing—though both of them would admit that those nights have become fewer and farther between since Peter started college.
That doesn’t matter now though, because Peter is right where he’s supposed to be.
Tony sighs contentedly, his hand finding its usual home buried in Peter’s soft curls.
“Having you here in my arms, Pete, I can easily say that the lucky one here is me.”
Peter smiles, breathing in the comforting scent of home that is Tony’s cologne. He hides his face in the man’s fleece flannel overshirt.
“It’s just—what are the chances, you know? One in a million? One in a billion? We won. You did it. Sometimes it feels too good to be true that after all of that, I come back and suddenly my hero sees me as their son,” the teenager laughs, “I must have won some sort of lottery or something…”
Tony’s hand suddenly stops its rhythmic carding through Peter’s curls, the man having gone eerily silent during the boy’s rambling.
Peter feels the heat rise in his cheeks. “Oh no, I made it weird, didn’t I? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
The older man clears his throat before interjecting, “Pete, it wasn’t just some crazy accident that we were able to bring everyone back. We tried— I tried for months. I went a little nuts trying if I’m being honest. It wasn’t until I nearly missed out on the first year of Morgan’s life that I realized I had to give it up. I had to let it go before I lost another—”
Before I lost another kid…
Tony’s words abruptly cut off as he is overcome with emotion. Unshed tears constrict his throat and the man swallows to help relieve the burning sensation.
“I’m so sorry, Pete. I never told you. I’m so sorry. I was too ashamed to admit it afterward, but I never stopped carrying the weight of how close I came to letting you go.”
Squeezing his eyes shut, Tony feels a hot tear escape and trail down his cheek. Peter has gone still against him, presumably filled with hatred toward his coward-of-a-father now that he’s learned the truth.
Sniffling, Tony tightens his hold on the teen, scared that Peter might flee and never come back. Though he relents that he wouldn’t blame Peter if he did. It’s what I deserve…
Tony decides the boy deserves more of an explanation. Though, he’ll never be able to fully vocalize how much guilt the admission causes him.
“It was Cap, Nat, and Lang who convinced me to give it another shot. They showed up at the cabin one day and were going on about time travel and I shot them down like they were insane. I was so desperate to keep the family I still had left together that I wouldn’t listen to a word they said. I couldn’t bear to let myself hope that there might be a way we could undo all of it…”
Tony remembers the day with crystal clarity. He remembers the terror that filled him at the mere suggestion of threatening his daughter's existence. As much as he dreamt of Peter returning someday, how could he possibly risk losing the child he had gained in his absence?
But then, if there was a chance, how could he not take it? For Peter. For everyone. It was the ultimate crossroad.
“But then, that night after they left I saw that picture of us—the one we took for your aunt to back up the internship story. After what happened, I found it framed in your bedroom. I couldn’t bear to pack it up and put it in storage with everything else so I—I brought it home. I kept it by the kitchen sink so I could look at it while I was doing the dishes every night. I figured my little buddy could keep me company…”
The painful memory causes a fresh wave of tears to spring from the man’s eyes while surprisingly, Peter’s arm tightens around his middle.
Tony takes the comforting action as permission to continue, his hand instinctively returning to carding through his son’s hair in an attempt to self-soothe.
“Pete, I say it wasn’t some accident because we came so close to never figuring it out. But that night, I looked at your face in that picture and a part of me realized I would never forgive myself if I didn’t at least try one more time…”
The next part is more difficult for Tony to get out, but it’s something he needs to say, something he should have told the kid a long time ago. He hates that it’s taken him so long to find the courage.
“The thing is, it wasn’t losing you that made me realize you were my kid—It was meeting you, Peter. Morgan is my daughter, yes, but you, my son, made me a father. Losing you only opened my eyes to what I’ve always known but was too damn scared to admit to myself—that I love you, Pete. I always have.”
There’s a pregnant pause, the brisk autumn air silent beside the sound of Tony’s sniffles and cicadas chirping in the surrounding woods.
If this is the last night he’ll get to spend with Peter after revealing his failures, Tony thinks, he wants to relish every second of it.
At least now he knows. I couldn’t live with him hating me without ever knowing how much he was missed…how much he’s loved.
He sighs and closes his eyes, continuing to caress Peter’s hair until he notices moisture seeping into his shirt. Hesitantly, Tony lowers his gaze to find that Peter has been silently crying, tear tracks staining his rosy cheeks from the cold.
The man’s stomach clenches at the sight, his guilt tripling in size. This is all my fault, kid. I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you.
“Pete, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry. I should’ve told you sooner. I should’ve been honest with you from the start. I’m so sorry.”
Peter looks up at the man, his brow slightly furrowed in confusion. He wipes at his tears with the sleeve of Tony’s old MIT sweatshirt that was gifted to him upon receiving his acceptance letter from the school.
The teen takes a second to compose himself, shaky breaths wracking his frame while Tony waits patiently, rubbing circles on the boy’s back and whispering, You’re okay, Shh…I’m so sorry, ‘Roos.
As the tears gradually slow, Peter is gazing up at the man with an expression of awe that Tony swears will live forever in his memory.
It’s the same look the kid gave him when he came home from school to find the billionaire chatting on the couch with his aunt.
It’s the look that says, You’re my hero.
After what Tony just admitted, he isn’t sure his heart can take seeing the way Peter’s eyes are sparkling with unwarranted adoration.
He doesn’t have to wait long though before Peter reveals the recent epiphany behind his bewildering reaction.
“You…you saved the whole universe—for me? ”