Chapter Text
Somehow he knew.
Deep down that his feelings of admiration were more than what he wanted them to be. He felt the bubble of hope and the churning desire spark. Before he knew it he was in love.
In love with a man, not just any man, his boss. The man who picked him for his team by watching him work as a Baltimore cop. He was a head smacking, silver haired, blue eyed, and redhead obsessed bastard. He was also an amazing cook, great at his job, cared about others, and someone who he could trust with anything.
Correction almost anything.
He knew how that man felt about anyone who wasn't a redhead. Of course that included him. It was painful knowing that even if his boss liked men, he wouldn’t fit the criteria. Another reason he knew he’d never be considered would be Rule #12 .
Never date a coworker.
Four words that hung over his lovesick head. Obviously with how easy it was for him to go undercover. It made sense for him to be able to fake the whole ‘not in love with Gibbs’. He didn’t not love women, he had fallen in love with a few. Three to be exact but he always took a while to fall in love. There were a few times he almost got there but none like how he felt about Gibbs. The late nights at work just to spend time with him under the guise of extra paperwork.
Though he hated when he’d slap him on the back of the head, sometimes it was a light humorous tap. Most of the time though it was harsh, making his head fly forward and leaving residual pain. He couldn’t pout or pretend those didn’t make him feel worse than normal because of the way he’d suddenly remember that Gibbs only hit him on the head.
Rarely he’d hit Mcgee but that was almost always the slight tap.
Walking into work was painful. Feeling as if he was in third person all day. Hearing the usual “get to work”, “Why are you still here” and “go get them”. Another case closed another day of perfect undercover work.
To seal the deal, a quick call to a usual hookup who never wanted more. Just the way he needed really.
At Least that's what he was about to do until he was stopped by Abby who was asking if he was going to the company dinner. He had forgotten about that, he had agreed previously and now regretted his decision. Canceling the hookup with a sigh and saying he was going to go get changed.
Watching as the goth scientist happily sipped her caf-pow again and toddled off. Turning back to the elevator hoping he’d be able to catch it alone. Alas today was not in his favor.
The doors opened and both he and the man who wouldn’t leave his thoughts. Ignoring the way they both reached for a floor button.
“You feeling alright, Dinozzo?”
No boss I’m in love with you and Its practically killing me
“I’m doing great, boss, what's up?”
He turned to him looking at the older man for a moment, unintentionally making eye contact and forcing him to pretend that was okay to do. Looking confused while gibbs looked at him with the tick in his jaw like something wasn't quite right. That's because it isn’t. Tilting his own head at that like he was worrying about nothing.
“Nothing Tony, go get changed, you stink”
Snorting at that comment like it didn’t hurt he gave a mock salute as the doors to the elevator opened on the ground floor. Quickly ducking under the hand that attempted to headslap him he cackled. Walking quickly to his car and turning it on.
Once he finally got through everything from unlocking the door to looking between two outfits with only his towel on he decided on a comfort casual this time. It wasn't supposed to be a super serious office party this time.
Finally he was at the office for the last time today. The party was in the non classified conference room. Streamers and some grocery store treats were set out as people arrived and mingled. He watched as each and every person walked in and joined their desk buddies. Laughing as McGee slipped on a rogue streamer upon his entrance and quickly shutting up when Gibbs had walked in. Next to him was a redhead from accounting, she was practically clinging onto the mans arm and he did nothing.
So much for the rule then.
Throughout the party and countless attempts at jokes at flirting he managed to have some fun while pretending that he wasn’t hurt by the fact gibbs’ date wasn’t him. It was a fun evening with some annoyingly healthy sandwiches, one of which was vegan and Abby had convinced him to eat it. Trying to pretend not to gag as the mess of flavors stuck on his tongue.
Reaching dramatically for a punch cup and shaking his head like a dog was enough to get most of his team laughing at him. He truly was glad he had chosen to come. Even if the little green bug called jealousy was creeping in ever so silently. Ignoring them when they had snuck off in lieu of a movie quote pertaining to what had just happened.
Abby rolled her eyes and McGee sighed, “you can't go ten minutes without one of those can you?”
Time passed by quickly and suddenly he was back in the elevator silent and finally alone. Though apparently that wouldn’t last as the doors let out a soft ding as they opened once again. Suddenly Gibbs and his date were in front of him, her rubbing her small and manicured hand up and down his arm. They both had been talking for what looked like a while and he wanted no part in it. Stepping out and making a clear beeline to his car once again pretending he had something important he needed to get back home to.
The image of what he accidentally interrupted in the lobby played over and over again in his head.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs was unattainable.