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He Xuan isn't seen for weeks. Not even Hua Cheng with his vast network of connections is able to get a hold of him and that is saying something, because there's no one who can hide from the Crimson Rain Sought Flower.
He has no trouble finding who and what he wants and yet , weeks pass by and He Xuan seems more legend than real.
Xie Lian, meanwhile, is distraught, blaming himself for He Xuan's sudden disappearance, and it takes long hours spent in Hua Cheng's embrace with whispered reassurances for him to stop.
____
On the first day of the third week since he'd last seen He Xuan, Xie Lian finds himself at Puqi Shrine all on his own, determined to distract himself. He kissed Hua Cheng goodbye this morning and sent him off to his own business before deciding to visit Puqi village - it's been a while since he has last been here. The villagers are overjoyed to see him, greeting him with a chorus of welcome back, Xie-daozhang and asking after Hua Cheng.
Once Xie Lian has managed to excuse himself, he walks the path up to his shrine and gets to work. He tidies the altar and sweeps the floor. He swaps out old offerings for new ones. He dusts off the sparse furniture.
He does everything not to think of He Xuan.
By noon, Xie Lian is outside in the sun and sweeps up the fallen leaves into neat piles, although the next breeze blows them apart again and again. He sighs.
"If San Lang was here, this wouldn't happen," Xie Lian mumbles to himself and begins anew with his task, humming softly under his breath. It's easy enough to get lost in thoughts doing this, the constant swish swish of his broom lulling him into an almost meditative state.
Xie Lian doesn't expect to be pulled from his thoughts by a voice calling for him. He snaps his head up to see-
He Xuan.
He Xuan, who doesn't look like himself, who even by his standards looks miserable and lost, his posture stiff as a board. His shoulders are hunched, making him look so much smaller than he is.
He's a far cry from his reputation as a fearsome ghost king, and his bottomless dark eyes look anywhere but at Xie Lian. Still, Xie Lian catches a glimpse of his face - the expression on it makes something in his chest ache fiercely.
"He Xuan!," Xie Lian calls before he can catch himself and think that maybe he shouldn't call him so intimately. He Xuan stiffens further but crosses the distance between them in three big steps. He thrusts out one hand, palm up; Xie Lian catches sight of something shiny.
It reminds him a lot of the diamond ring around his neck that holds his whole world.
He Xuan holds out the object in his palm like an offering.
"My ashes," he forces out, voice flat and quiet. Xie Lian's breath catches harshly in his throat. "Do with them as you see fit. Give them to Crimson Rain, whatever. I accept any punishment."
Xie Lian doesn't dare move. He doesn't reach out to take them, just looks at He Xuan, feeling ready to cry at the expression he can glimpse in He Xuan's eyes. He looks exactly as hopeless and lost as Hua Cheng had, back in the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods, waiting for Xie Lian's answer.
Like a criminal on a death row, Xie Lian thinks hysterically.
They remain at an impassive, He Xuan's ashes (in the form of a ring, dark like black jade, speckled with gold) held out for Xie Lian to take - until He Xuan loses his patience when the god still doesn't move, grabbing Xie Lian's hand to close his fingers around them and as soon as he's done it, he is already turning around, about to leave.
Xie Lian moves faster, holding him back - his grip is gentle but there's no mistaking the raw strength behind it. Sometimes He Xuan forgets that Xie Lian is the strongest martial god to exist.
He can't break the hold. Not that he tries very hard; if Xie Lian decides to end him right this instant, He Xuan knows he doesn't deserve anything else.
What he doesn't expect is the way Xie Lian's voice trembles and breaks when he speaks up: "I'm glad you're back, He Xuan."
He Xuan can't believe his ears. Surely his mind is playing tricks on him, there is no way Xie Lian could possibly be happy he's here.
He's not sure how he ends up inside of Puqi Shrine, seated at the low table in the back with a steaming cup of tea in front of him. It's a painfully familiar scene and it feels like a knife in He Xuan's chest.
Xie Lian has been kind to him. He'd given him so much without expecting anything in return; he'd made He Xuan's lonely existence bearable - and He Xuan had to fuck it up with a single moment of selfishness.
He's truly nothing but a lowly, greedy ghost at the end of the day, only ever taking more than what he deserves. His fingers clench in his robes. As a ghost, he's always cold but right now He Xuan feels it acutely.
Xie Lian is a flurry of white robes and dark hair as he pulls out a plate of snacks from god knows where and puts it in front of He Xuan. The ring with his ashes is on the table as well - tactfully close to He Xuan and he doesn't get it .
How can Xie Lian still be so gentle with him, after what he's done? It's unnerving, to say the least - Xie Lian should be beside himself with anger. He Xuan kissed him , knowing damn well that he's married to Hua Cheng.
Maybe that's it, though. He Xuan pauses, still as a statue, unmoved and frozen where Xie Lian is all nervous energy filling the Shrine.
Maybe he is waiting here for Crimson Rain to show up and enact the punishment instead of Xie Lian. Xie Lian is too gentle, after all.
As if he heard his thoughts, Hua Cheng's voice suddenly sounds from the kitchen - a call of "Gege?" followed by Xie Lian's very enthusiastic "San Lang!" and He Xuan flinches where he sits.
So this is it.
He steels himself, wills his face into a mask of pure neutrality. If he dies today, he will die with dignity. He won't show fear in front of Crimson Rain.
Hua Cheng's footsteps, eternally accented by the gentle chiming of silver bells, sound so much louder than they are, echoing in the Shrine. He Xuan doesn't look up.
"Black Water," Hua Cheng says.
".... Crimson Rain," He Xuan acknowledges.
"What's that on the table?"
He Xuan doesn't want to explain; he's pretty sure that Hua Cheng knows already but he opens his mouth anyway.
Xie Lian is faster.
"It's his ashes! San Lang, he- he offered me his ashes."
The weight of Hua Cheng's gaze is almost physical. He Xuan feels crushed under it but refuses to let it show, back ramrod straight and his eyes distant as he stares resolutely at his tea cup.
"Stop cowering like a fucking dog," Hua Cheng hisses, stepping closer. Out of the corner of his eyes, He Xuan sees pale slender fingers skim over the ring with his ashes. The touch is fleeting; He Xuan refuses to call it gentle.
The ring is pushed further in his direction. "Take them back." Hua Cheng's voice is cold. "Neither of us wants to kill you."
That gets He Xuan to look up. He frowns deeply, utterly skeptical. Hua Cheng looks… He Xuan doesn't actually have a word to describe what Hua Cheng's expression looks like, he can't put a name on the emotion in that single star-like eye - but Xie Lian, standing by his side, looks like he wants to cry.
Or laugh.
Or both.
"What do you mean ," He Xuan grits out, as controlled as he can. "What do you mean you don't want to kill me?"
Hua Cheng's eyebrow twitches. "What do you mean?"
He Xuan bristles a little in the face of Crimson Rain's cocky attitude. Does he think he's stupid?
"I kissed your husband, Crimson Rain!," He Xuan spits out, more angry than he has been in a long while. Infuriatingly, Hua Cheng seems unimpressed by his outburst, unbothered by the news.
He merely raises a brow, arms crossed over his chest, and fires back: "And did you ever ask my husband how he felt about that?"
He Xuan stares at him in open disbelief. "What?," he asks, all fight leaving him at once and he doesn't dare look over at Xie Lian. But hope is a traitorous thing, beckoning him, effective even though He Xuan lost his faith centuries ago.
He looks at Xie Lian - Xie Lian, who is blushing . He wrings his hands in front of him, a picture of nervousness, until Hua Cheng reaches out to gently twine their fingers together. "Gege," he says softly. "Go on. Tell him how it made you feel."
Xie Lian looks down at his feet. His face is so red that the colour spread all the way to his ears. He opens his mouth and the words leave him in a rush, faster and faster and He Xuan doesn't understand him at all.
Hua Cheng has to coax him ( "Slower, beloved, you have to talk slower" ) until Xie Lian takes a deep breath and mutters: "I… liked it."
He Xuan cannot have heard that correctly. This cannot be happening. He's convinced he's finally lost his mind after so many centuries - or maybe he tripped and fell and this is all a hallucination.
He watches, unfeeling, not comprehending at all. Hua Cheng is watching Xie Lian as well, his gaze unbearably fond - He Xuan has to look away when they gravitate towards each other for a kiss.
"You heard him?"
He Xuan pretends he doesn't exist. Hua Cheng takes a step forward, and suddenly his hand is clamping down on He Xuan's chin, forcing him to look at his face. There's some anger in that one visible eye, but it's not nearly what He Xuan expected. He'd expected fury. He had expected pain at the hand of Crimson Rain for daring to kiss his god.
"We," Hua Cheng begins, pulling He Xuan's scattered attention back to himself, heavily emphasizing the word and holding He Xuan's gaze. " We have been trying to court you for quite a while."
"San Lang!" Xie Lian calls. "Be nice-"
Hua Cheng answers without looking away: "I'm being very nice, gege. Otherwise I'd punch this lesson into him."
This cannot be happening. He Xuan never gets the things he wants, no matter how much he may wish or work for them. They're always just out of reach. And suddenly, this? Is he expected to believe this?
It must be a trick.
"He Xuan," Xie Lian says, his voice quiet and soft, and He Xuan jerks in Hua Cheng's grip, eyes sweeping over to meet Xie Lian's. "It's true. San Lang isn't trying to trick you, we really... did try to court you."
Heavens, he's blushing more , a delightful rosy colour that goes all the way to his neck.
"San Lang is quite in love with you," Xie Lian adds, ignoring Hua Chengs scandalized " Gege!! " at the words. He Xuan can't believe it.
"He hates me," He Xuan protests weakly. Abruptly, Hua Cheng's grip loosens and they're apart again - it feels too far and yet not far enough. He Xuan rubs at his chin, affronted.
"I don't, asshole," Hua Cheng bits out. He melts into Xie Lian's side when the god comes to stand next to him, one arm immediately winding itself around a slim waist. "I don't hate you. If I did, do you think I would've helped you? Do you think I would've sought you out voluntarily to spend time with you?"
"See?," Xie Lian mumbles, petting Hua Cheng's hair with a fond expression before he lifts his eyes to look at He Xuan. He Xuan feels pinned down by his gaze. "San Lang likes you. He told me so, quite some time ago. And I must admit, I found myself falling for you as well."
How Xie Lian can say this without stumbling over the words is beyond He Xuan. He himself feels like he's choking on air, like his heart is going wild - as if he still needed to breathe, as if his heart were still beating.
"If you'll have us, of course," Xie Lian adds with a flustered smile. There's poorly concealed hope in his eyes. "You don't have to agree. You can think this through first, I know it's quite a lot-"
He Xuan opens his mouth to protest, or to ask if Xie Lian lost his mind, but whatever he might have said is cut short, because Hua Cheng rolls his eyes and then he yanks He Xuan into a kiss.
The kiss is far from gentle. Actually, it's kind of a bad kiss, all teeth and ravenous hunger only a ghost can possess. Hua Cheng purposefully sinks a fang into He Xuan's bottom lip, making him hiss and struggle and yet- it's the most perfect thing ever.
Still-
"What the fuck!", He Xuan demands when they part, chest heaving with breaths he doesn't need to take. He swears his heart started beating again, hammering against his ribs. Hua Cheng looks entirely too self satisfied, cocking an eyebrow. "If words don't work on you, then I'll simply have to show you," he declares.
He Xuan wants to punch him.
"San Lang!," Xie Lian chastises immediately, but he's smiling and somehow he's right by He Xuan's side now instead of being across the table. He's close enough that his warmth radiates against He Xuan's cold skin.
He stares at the god, wide eyed.
"May I kiss you, He Xuan?" Xie Lian asks, his voice steady while his cheeks go crimson. He Xuan freezes in place once more, shooting Hua Cheng a look - this is, quite frankly, way beyond what he can handle and he's still not sure it might not be a trick.
Hua Cheng, inexplicably, softens. He Xuan would almost call the expression on his face fond , if it weren't directed at him. "Go on," he says with a smirk. "Gege's kisses are quite something."
He Xuan doesn't move at all. But he also doesn't flinch away when Xie Lian reaches for him, his hands warm on his cheeks. The warmth of his hands is nothing , however, in comparison to the heat of his lips when he kisses He Xuan - a polar opposite of Hua Cheng's kiss. Soft and gentle, demanding nothing.
He Xuan can't help himself - he melts. It's over far too soon and he can't help but gasp when they part; Xie Lian, for his part, looks absolutely disheveled for such an innocent kiss.
He radiates happiness though, and He Xuan is left reeling with the realization that this is because of him.
Hua Cheng reaches out.
His fingers are as cold as He Xuan's own and yet the touch feels warm when he laces their fingers together as well. A simple gesture, but it speaks volumes.
You belong with us.