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"Shen Qingqiu," Liu Qingge finally manages. Is that his voice, so terribly soft and shaky? Shen Qingqiu looks up at him, looking just as flustered as Liu Qingge feels. "I want to kiss you."
Green eyes go very, very wide. Shen Qingqiu's lips part on a breath but instead of leaning away he seems to sway forward. Liu Qingge meets him halfway.
Almost.
That's when a loud cry sounds from behind them and everything delves into chaos.
A training accident.
That's what Mu Qingfang calls it, after Luo Binghe is done being treated and Shen Qingqiu has had to carry him out of the office and back to Qing Jing.
Liu Qingge bets his left hand that it was calculation , not an accident. A reckless move to get Shen Qingqiu's attention away from Liu Qingge and back to Luo Binghe, since there is no way any of Bai Zhan's disciples are careless enough not to control their strength.
Liu Qingge also isn't dense enough to not understand what's driving Luo Binghe - clearly the boy is head over heels in love with his shizun. If it wasn't obvious before, with him hogging all of Shen Qingqiu's free time and being downright hostile towards Liu Qingge, it's all the more obvious now.
Tough luck , Liu Qingge thinks as he storms out of the office and mounts Cheng Luan, wind whipping past him as he cuts through the air and flies back towards his own Peak.
As much as he would like to go to Qing Jing and see Shen Qingqiu, he can't. Mu Qingfang had taken him aside and relayed a mission to him and maybe it's a good idea to stay away for a bit, to let things cool down. Besides, Liu Qingge guesses correctly that Shen Qingqiu likely won't have all that much time with Luo Binghe injured.
The mission is easy enough to not take too much time, yet also challenging enough to keep Liu Qingge's mind occupied. He feels a little more like himself afterwards, with the monster defeated at his feet.
It's a tiger-like creature twice the size of Liu Qingge, with claws like gold and teeth sharp like daggers. It's taken him three days to find it, and a whole day of fighting to kill. Shen Qingqiu likely would be able to tell him what exactly it is called but Liu Qingge has no idea. He only notes that the pelt is particularly beautiful - snow white and soft. It will make a great gift.
He thinks of Shen Qingqiu's reaction, how those lovely green eyes would go wide in wonder and Liu Qingge feels a blush warming his face. He's looking forward to it.
Summoning Cheng Luan, he takes off back home, a small smile on his lips.
However, upon returning to Qing Jing Peak, Liu Qingge's good mood dissipates immediately. He's not greeted by Shen Qingqiu. Instead it's Luo Binghe glaring daggers at him, arms crossed over his chest - effectively blocking the door to the bamboo house. He looks like he's recovered quite well.
Training accident, yeah right.
"Shizun is asleep," the boy tells him firmly. Liu Qingge scowls at him, ready to push past anyways and Luo Binghe actually squares his shoulders.
"Shizun is asleep . He has exhausted himself taking care of this disciple. So this disciple will make sure his rest is not disturbed. Liu- shishu ", never has that address held any less respect. "Will have to return later."
A part of Liu Qingge has to applaud this kid's courage once again. The other Qing Jing disciples are watching from afar but none of them is as brave as Luo Binghe to stand in Liu Qingge's direct path. He sets his jaw, ready to reach out and move this rebellious brat - when a timid voice sounds behind him.
"Luo Binghe is right, Peak Lord Liu."
Liu Qingge turns around slowly, dark eyes fixed on the head disciple - Ming Fan, he recalls - who shrinks under his glare. "Shizun is indeed asleep. It's not a good time."
Liu Qingge's resolve wavers. He doesn't trust Luo Binghe but the head disciple doesn't have this ongoing war for Shen Qingqiu's attention with him, so he must be speaking the truth. Frowning, Liu Qingge pulls a qiankun pouch out of his sleeve and tosses it over.
Ming Fan nearly fumbles the catch.
"Give it to Shen Qingqiu," Liu Qingge instructs. If he can't see him personally, at least he'll leave the pelt. "It's a gift."
With that, he takes off without looking back once.
He doesn't see Shen Qingqiu for another three whole days. It's not for lack of trying on Liu Qingge's part either - he flies over to Qing Jing Peak whenever he has a moment to spare but time and time again, without fail, Luo Binghe will be there, making up excuses why his shizun is currently unavailable.
It feels like they're right back to square one! Liu Qingge is fuming by that point and what little patience he has runs dangerously low when he touches down today and Luo Binghe immediately tells him "Shizun is not here."
"Where is he?," Liu Qingge demands to know because he's had enough. When Luo Binghe stubbornly folds his arms over his chest and refuses to answer, Liu Qingge decides it's time to get physical. He's about to open his mouth and challenge that stubborn brat to a duel, Cheng Luan already buzzing in its sheath with restless energy.
Then the door of the bamboo house opens and Shen Qingqiu walks out, looking graceful and perfect and absolutely confused by the scene presented to him.
Liu Qingge goes still. Across from him, Luo Binghe also freezes, his expression truly that of a child that got caught doing something bad.
Shen Qingqiu's fan snaps open, the sound cutting through the silence.
"Liu-shidi," he greets softly, mild surprise carrying in his voice. Liu Qingge relaxes. "I haven't seen you in a bit. Would you like some tea?"
"But shizun!!," Luo Binghe immediately cries. He turns, Liu Qingge completely forgotten. "Did shizun not plan on taking us disciples to town today?!"
Shen Qingqiu makes a dismissive noise and Liu Qingge does not smile all gleefully when he replies: "That can wait, Binghe. The town will still be there tomorrow. Liu-shidi? Please come in."
Liu Qingge straightens his spine and walks past Luo Binghe like a victor about to take his spoils.
The noise of the door shutting behind them, just them, is sweeter than any other sound. But it also serves as an abrupt reminder that Liu Qingge hasn't seen Shen Qingqiu for days and their last conversation has been him asking for a kiss.
Immediately, Liu Qingge feels as if his face caught on fire. His hand tingles with the phantom sensation of Shen Qingqiu's slender fingers curled around it.
He dares to look up. Shen Qingqiu isn't looking at him; instead, he has his fan raised high to hide the bottom half of his face, green eyes fixed on a spot somewhere to the side. Nervous, his body language says.
Liu Qingge sees the delicate blush on those pale cheeks and forgets how to breathe for a moment. He's being told to sit and he obeys without thinking, suddenly feeling very much out of his depth. Shen Qingqiu acts so… normal , making light conversation as he prepares tea.
When Liu Qingge has a steaming cup of light green tea sitting in front of him and Shen Qingqui on the other end of the table, silence falls again. It seems charged with anticipation but Liu Qingge has no idea what to say.
He turns to familiar routines. They're finally alone with no sticky, possessive disciples around.
"Give me your wrist," Liu Qingge says somewhat roughly. Shen Qingqiu hesitates for a split second, then smiles. He offers one delicate wrist for Liu Qingge to take. Bai Zhan's War God wraps his battle-roughened fingers around soft, pale skin.
When he starts to channel his qi into Shen Qingqiu, the man makes a quiet noise that's half a sigh, half a whimper and it sends tingles down Liu Qingge's spine. Shen Qingqiu's meridians are pretty blocked and Liu Qingge furrows his brows.
"It's been quite some time since Liu-shidi did this for me," Shen Qingqiu remarks, which makes Liu Qingge duck his head. With Luo Binghe's constant meddling, there hadn't been a moment to spare for this.
"I've neglected my duties," Liu Qingge admits grimly. His thumb brushes gently over the thin, vulnerable skin of Shen Qingqiu's inner wrist. It shivers in his grasp.
"Liu-shidi has done no such thing," Shen Qingqiu replies quietly. "Mu Qingfang helped me out instead. Liu-shidi is a busy man, after all - this shixiong cannot expect him to always look after him."
That gets Liu Qingge to look up. Shen Qingqiu isn't looking at him, green eyes downcast and an expression on his face that almost looks… sad. Liu Qingge doesn't understand it. They're courting - they might even get married if things go well. If Shen Qingqiu doesn't see Liu Qingge as someone he can trust and depend on, then what's the point?
His grip tightens on Shen Qingqiu's wrist.
"I want to," he says, trying to keep his voice even. It feels awkward to try and put his emotions into words; it's really not his forte. "I want to look after you."
There's more that he wants but Liu Qingge finds he can't say it; already his face feels like it's on fire, embarrassment burning hot in his throat. He can't wield words the way he wields his sword.
Liu Qingge gives up trying. Instead, he releases Shen Qingqiu's wrist from his hold but he doesn't let him go far. He carefully slides his fingers over smooth skin and down to Shen Qingqiu's palm before he links their fingers together.
He barely hears Shen Qingqiu gasp over the sound of his own racing heart.
He hopes it's enough to get his point across.
Shen Qingqiu seems to hesitate for a long moment, then gives Liu Qingge's hand a soft squeeze.
"Shidi," he says quietly, sounding strangled. There's shuffling, the rustle of clothing and Liu Qingge feels him lean closer, before Shen Qingqiu's free hand comes up to cup his face. He shivers, helpless to do anything but lean into the touch, eyes closed. "Liu Qingge. Please absolutely feel free to push me away if you don't want this."
Liu Qingge doesn't even get the chance to ask what that means before Shen Qingqiu kisses him.
Shen Qingqiu is kissing him. He's shy about it too, a barely-there touch of lips, fleeting and sweet and over all too soon. Liu Qingge is sure his face is redder than maple by now. He makes a noise of protest when Shen Qingqiu tries to lean away again, chasing those soft lips for another kiss.
It's a lot less shy than the first one, desperation and frustration that Liu Qingge has held at bay for weeks bleeding through.
"Why wouldn't I want this?," Liu Qingge asks when they part. Shen Qingqiu is half in his lap by then, looking adorably ruffled and just as flushed as him. Liu Qingge keeps his arms firmly locked around that slim waist.
"I asked you to kiss me before. Your sticky disciple just had to ruin it."
If possible, Shen Qingqiu's face gets even redder. There's no fan for him to hide behind though, all expressions laid bare. It's thrilling .
"So I did not hear wrong," Shen Qingqiu mumbles - effectively bringing Liu Qingge to a halt. He furrows his brows, confused.
"Shen Qingqiu," green eyes snap back to him, the colour all the more bright now with the redness of Shen Qingqiu's face. Liu Qingge feels happier than he has in years and equal parts confused. "We've been courting for weeks . I-"
"Courting?!", Shen Qingqiu gasps out, looking thoroughly blindsided. "What do you mean, courting ? That's-?!"
Liu Qingge watches, stunned into silence, as Shen Qingqiu launches into a somewhat panicked ramble. He doesn't get half of it but one thing becomes crystal clear the more the rant goes on: Shen Qingqiu had no idea Liu Qingge was courting him.
Liu Qingge almost rolls his eyes.
"I brought you gifts," he points out, stopping the waterfall of Shen Qingqiu's words.
"You always bring me something," Shen Qingqiu fires back, then pauses, then blushes. "Oh. Oh. And I gave you something in return."
Liu Qingge nods. Those gifts are his most prized possessions; trinkets he keeps in his bedroom, jewelry he has worn to sect leader meetings. The green sword tassel with various protection spells that hangs from Cheng Luan's hilt.
Shen Qingqiu groans. It's very rare to see him this honest, this… human and Liu Qingge gathers him in his arms, pulling him closer.
"Liu-shidi was courting me and I was too blind to see it," Shen Qingqiu laments quietly, his voice muffled where his face is hidden against Liu Qingge's neck.
"Doesn't matter," Liu Qingge replies. They still got to this point. He smiles to himself, content to listen to Shen Qingqiu's quietly complaining about communication and sending mixed signals .
When morning comes and Liu Qingge leaves Shen Qingqiu's bedroom, he comes across Luo Binghe. The boy stares at him with wide eyes full of disbelief, then at the door, then back at him.
He looks seconds away from starting to yell.
Liu Qingge walks past him without a word, a satisfied smile on his lips.