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Minhee sighs heavily. In relief.
After checking his surroundings, he finally found his chance to slip away from the crowd without anybody noticing. Most people were inebriated by this point anyway, so they probably wouldn't even notice if the world around them crumbled. They should be fine if he leaves for a few minutes.
Minhee doesn't really like parties that much, and yet he still goes to basically every one he gets invited to out of obligation. And, as an important member of the student union, he gets invited to lots of parties.
This particular house is one he's somewhat familiar with, so he knows of a few hiding spots already. He opts for the balcony, since fresh air is just what he wants after being in a stuffy room full with sweaty people who smell like weed and booze.
Opening the door leading outside, he closes his eyes and breathes in, expecting the cold air to hit his lungs and give him the boost he so desperately needs. Instead, he gets greeted by a cloud of smoke. His eyes shoot open.
In front of him is somebody he recognises. There's a cigarette hanging from his lips and he has a beer in his hand. The other boy doesn’t notice him standing in the doorway at first.
“Song Hyeongjun?” Minhee calls out.
Hyeongjun turns and raises an eyebrow, taking his cigarette from his mouth. “Well, well, if it isn’t Kang Minhee.”
“What are you doing out here?” Minhee asks, sitting down next to him.
“I could ask you the same, Mr. Popular,” Hyeongjun responds, with a slight grin.
“…I asked you first,” Minhee says, matter-of-factly.
Hyeongjun snorts. “Everyone at this house party is insufferable. I needed a break.”
“Ugh, tell me about it,” Minhee replies.
Hyeongjun gives him a look. “Are you joking? Everybody loves you. Nobody is ever anything but nice to you. Well... to your face, at least,” he says, the last part a bit quieter than the rest, putting the cigarette back between his lips.
“Yeah, but... I don't know, I get tired of it. I didn't even wanna come tonight, I would rather be home playing video games,” Minhee mumbles.
Hyeongjun exhales, chuckling right after. Minhee’s eyes land on the cigarette, now between Hyeongjun’s fingers. “What are you tired of? Being a top student? People always wanting to fuck you? Man, I would love to have your problems.”
Minhee shakes his head. “It’s a lot more than that. You wouldn't understand.”
“Course I wouldn’t.” Hyeongjun taps his cigarette a few times. “You and your student union never give me the time of day.”
Minhee scoffs. “Is this about your stupid club again?”
“It’s not stupid! The only stupid thing is how you treat us! We’re just as important as all of the other clubs!”
“We’ve told you a thousand times, we can’t designate a room for you if you don’t have enough members!”
“Do you know how difficult it is to get members without a fucking room? It’s near impossible! Who wants to have club meetings in random spots around campus that are different every time?”
“That’s your problem, not mine!” Minhee exhales, calming himself down. “If people truly cared for your club and what it’s about, they wouldn’t mind if there was a set room or not. Okay?”
“Fine. Whatever. Just continue to treat us like dirt, why don’t you,” Hyeongjun grumbles, taking a swig of his beer.
“I just do what I get told! I may be ‘in charge’ but there’s still guidelines I need to follow, otherwise all of the buildings on campus would be overrun with so-called clubs that only have two members. I’m sorry though,” Minhee replies apologetically.
Hyeongjun tuts. “Yeah, it’s okay. I know it isn’t your fault, I’m just being a little dramatic.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Minhee leans back, placing his hands on the floor. “What actually is your club? I got told once but I forgot.”
Hyeongjun mumbles something, and his voice is so low Minhee doesn’t catch it.
“What was that?”
“I said… we’re a girl group dance club.”
“Oh! That’s… that’s nice!”
“You think it’s dumb, don’t you?” Hyeongjun accuses.
Minhee waves his hands. “No! I– Of course I don’t! Listen, I’m in the Pokemon club and the knitting club, so I don’t think I’m a good judge of what’s cool and what’s not.”
Hyeongjun snickers. “Nerd.”
“You’re not exactly making your chances of getting a meeting room any better right now.”
“Some people like nerds! I meant it endearingly!”
“Right… I’m sure you really did.”
They’re quiet for a moment, the only sound being the blaring music from downstairs. Wordlessly, Hyeongjun holds his bottle out towards Minhee.
“Oh, I’m good, but thanks.” Minhee says, giving Hyeongjun a polite smile.
Hyeongjun chuckles. “What’s the point in coming to a party if you’re not gonna drink?”
“Because it never ends well. Believe me, you don’t wanna see me drunk,” Minhee assures.
That makes Hyeongjun laugh more. “Wait, now I kinda do. Are you messy? Do you fight people?”
Minhee shakes his head. “More like, I have to try my hardest not to pass out and I end up going home early. It’s a little embarrassing, so I just don’t bother anymore.”
“Wow,” Hyeongjun leans in a little closer, “so you’re a lightweight?”
“I prefer to say that I have a low tolerance,” Minhee corrects.
“Same thing. Oh well, more for me I guess,” Hyeongjun says, downing the rest of the bottle, sighing afterwards.
Minhee can’t deny how much that impresses him. Still, he needs to act like he doesn’t care. Hyeongjun won’t win him over that easily. “Okay, so you can drink one beer, so what?”
“This is my fourth drink so far tonight. I don’t feel a thing yet,” Hyeongjun deadpans, like it’s nothing.
“...Woah.” Minhee blinks. “I think I’d be dead in a ditch by that point.”
Hyeongjun laughs once more, going back to dragging on his cigarette. Minhee watches as he blows a large cloud of smoke.
Minhee clears his throat. “You know, smoking is bad for you.”
Hyeongjun gasps, pretending to be shocked. “Wow, really?” He snorts, shaking his head. “I know that, dumbass. I don’t smoke often, I just do it sometimes when I drink. It’s not like I’m addicted.”
“Yeah, still not good though.”
“Yes, thank you grandpa!” Hyeongjun groans loudly. “God, you’re such a goody-two-shoes, it’s so funny to me.”
“I’m not a– Fine. Let me try it then,” Minhee says.
Hyeongjun almost chokes on air, taken aback at Minhee’s sudden change in tone. “What?”
“The cigarette. Let me try it. Just once.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
Minhee shakes his head. He holds a hand out.
Hyeongjun, mouth agape, looks between the cigarette and Minhee’s outstretched hand.
“You won’t use this against me somehow to get your student union losers to dislike me even more, will you?”
“Why the fuck would I do that?”
Hyeongjun shrugs. “I don’t know your intentions.”
Minhee chuckles, still holding out his hand. He’s not one to give in easily. “No, Hyeongjun, I’m not gonna do that. And those ‘losers’ are actually downstairs, high out of their minds right now. So it would be pretty hypocritical of them.”
“Fine,” Hyeongjun says, reluctantly handing his cigarette, “but I already know you’ll hate it.”
Hyeongjun is right, Minhee himself knows he’s going to hate this too. If it wasn’t for his need to prove himself, paired with some genuine curiosity, he wouldn’t even be trying.
Hyeongjun watches closely, as Minhee places the cigarette between his lips. He takes a big breath in, and it isn’t too bad… until it hits the back of his throat.
Minhee splutters, ripping the cigarette out of his mouth. “Fuck— Oh my god!” he exclaims between coughs, putting a hand on his chest. Minhee gasps for breath. Maybe he’s being overdramatic, but he feels as if his chest is filling up with dust.
“I told you!” Hyeongjun replies, snatching the cigarette back as Minhee struggles to get some fresh air into his lungs. “Thanks for spitting all over this, by the way. Now I can’t even finish it.”
“Hyeongjun, I think I’m about to die,” Minhee croaks.
“You’re fine, don’t be stupid,” Hyeongjun responds calmly, putting the cigarette out on the floor and flicking it away.
“How on earth do you enjoy this?!” Minhee asks, after managing to somewhat catch his breath. “I feel like my lungs are on fire.”
“You get used to it,” Hyeongjun says with a shrug. “Also, I’m not a baby like you are.”
“Oh, shut up, I’m not a baby.”
Hyeongjun sucks in a breath through his teeth. “You kinda are though.”
“Fuck off,” Minhee says, coughing one last time. The effects of the cigarette are finally fading and he feels more normal. Maybe he was being pretty dramatic.
Hyeongjun laughs out loud, making Minhee laugh too. Quiet falls over them once more and out of nowhere, Hyeongjun’s expression turns serious.
“Hey Minhee?”
Minhee hums in response, so Hyeongjun continues.
“I know I joked about it before but… I’m curious. I really do want to understand what it’s like to be you. I imagine it actually is a lot of pressure when you have so many people watching you.”
Minhee huffs. “God, where do I start?”
“I’m listening,” Hyeongjun says sincerely.
Minhee looks up to the night sky. The stars are twinkling brightly, a contrast to the darkness. He breathes out heavily.
“I just feel like I always have to strive for perfection. There are always so many eyes on me, you know?”
Hyeongjun nods, turning his body towards Minhee to assure him he’s listening carefully.
“There’s just no room for mistakes when basically everyone expects the best of you. Putting the student union and all that stuff aside, even my family is expecting me to be perfect, to be successful. My siblings have both graduated so all of the attention is on me.”
“Wait, you have older siblings?”
Minhee nods. “A brother and a sister.”
“I have two older sisters!” Hyeongjun proclaims, more excited than necessary. “I didn’t realise you were a youngest child too.”
Minhee softly grins. “That’s cool. I guess we have that in common.”
“Anyway, sorry, you were saying?”
“Right, uh… Because of all that, I feel as if I’m always walking on eggshells. I know there are some people out there who don’t give a shit about what I do, but there are also so many others expecting so much from me. I don’t know, sure, it’s a lot of pressure but I should just be thankful that I’m even here,” Minhee finishes, meeting Hyeongjun’s eyes. Hyeongjun has his eyebrows furrowed and his lips in a pout. He seems to be thinking about something.
“Neither of my sisters went to university,” Hyeongjun starts. “So, me coming here and being able to go onto bigger and better things is more of their and my mom’s dream. So I do get what you mean, about having all these expectations and not wanting to let anyone down.”
Minhee’s eyes go wide. “I guess we have more in common than we thought.”
“Yeah.” Hyeongjun laughs, dropping his head down. He seems to sniffle, but Minhee isn’t sure if he heard it right. “I don’t see my family much lately, so I always try making the most out of my time at home but it’s hard for me to not feel like shit when they’re expecting to hear so much from me, all about how great I’m doing in the big city, and I never have anything to tell them.”
Now it’s Minhee’s turn to listen quietly, nodding his head as Hyeongjun speaks.
“To be honest with you, my grades last semester… weren’t good. Not terrible, but I know I can do a lot better. I’m not sure what happened to me. I’m always trying my best but it never seems to pay off. I just feel like I’m letting my whole family down. They’re not even asking much of me but I can’t even do that.”
Minhee can just barely see a teardrop fall from Hyeongjun’s face and land beneath him. Hesitantly, he pats Hyeongjun’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. “Doing your best is all you can do. I’m sure they’re all so proud of you no matter what.”
Hyeongjun looks up, eyes wet and cheeks red. “Since when are you my therapist?”
Minhee shrugs. “What was I supposed to do, sit here and watch you cry like I’m some kind of sadist?”
“I guess not.” Hyeongjun smiles, and it eases Minhee’s mind.
Minhee opens his arms, and Hyeongjun falls into them. Somehow, despite all the smoking and drinking he’s done tonight, Hyeongjun still smells nice. Minhee kind of wants to ask him what perfume he wears.
They stay as they are for a moment, and Hyeongjun sniffs a few times before he separates from Minhee.
“Thanks, Minhee. I’m sorry, I didn’t intend on crying tonight.”
“It’s all good.”
Hyeongjun brushes some of his hair out of his eyes. “Y’know, you’re not as awful as I thought you were. You’re actually pretty cool.”
“Wow… thanks?” Minhee tilts his head slightly to the side, unsure how to take Hyeongjun’s words.
“I meant it as a compliment, stupid,” Hyeongjun says, smacking Minhee on the leg.
“Ow— Alright, jeez! You’re pretty cool too, I guess,” Minhee says back, rubbing his leg to relieve the pain. “Maybe we could do this again.”
“The hanging out and talking or the crying?” Hyeongjun asks jokingly.
Minhee touches his finger against his chin. “Hm, both would work for me. I like a good cry sometimes.”
Hyeongjun chuckles. “Right. Maybe we should.”
“Yeah. Cool–”
“If… you can get my club a meeting room.” Hyeongjun looks Minhee straight in the eyes, his eyebrow raised.
Minhee rolls his eyes. “You’re pushing it, but I’ll see what I can do.”
Hyeongjun grins, squeezing Minhee’s arm. “You’re the best, Minhee.”
“Yeah, yeah, don’t mention it,” Minhee responds, looking away.
When he glances at Hyeongjun again, he finds him staring into the distance. For a moment, Minhee considers thinking of something else to talk about. It’s funny, because he’d come out here to have some quiet alone time, and yet here he is, chatting with Hyeongjun and even enjoying it.
They have never seen eye to eye much, and he doubts that will change in the future, but there’s something about Hyeongjun that makes Minhee more comfortable. Maybe it’s the fact that he doesn’t care for the ‘perfect, good boy’ persona that Minhee has to keep up in front of everyone else. Minhee doesn’t think he’s ever told anyone his feelings like he’s told Hyeongjun tonight. Judging by how he opened up too, Hyeongjun probably feels a similar way. Part of him doesn’t want to admit it, but Minhee wouldn’t mind if this is the start of an actual friendship between them.
“Minhee? Minhee, are you up here?” a voice calls out from inside the house. Judging by how close the voice already sounds, it’s only a matter of time before they come out to the balcony.
“Shit. They caught you,” Hyeongjun says, looking over his shoulder at the house.
“Yeah. I should probably go.” Minhee sighs, standing up. “I’ll see you around though. Thanks for tonight.”
Hyeongjun nods, a cheesy smile on his face. “You too. I miss you already.”
“Okay, gross. I’m getting out of here,” Minhee says, half jokingly. “Later, Hyeongjun.”
“Bye, Minhee,” Hyeongjun says, still smiling.
He almost doesn’t want to, but Minhee grabs onto the balcony door and pulls it open. He gives Hyeongjun one more goodbye wave before walking back into the house.
“Guys? I’m in here!”