Archive of Our Own ^beta

Friday

Do you believe in soulmates?

As far as Kenny knows, there has always been such a thing in the world where one could accept you for the way you are, all your impurities and insecurities, it doesn't matter. Whether you are scarred or unblemished, there is no in between. In their eyes, you are perfect. That is what he is scared of, all the things he did and all the mistakes he did do, to make him stand out would be all for nothing and he is afraid that in the eyes of his soulmate, maybe he's just another boring person that would be entitled to be their life partner.

Not that he minded or anything. That would be pretty sweet, he'd just get to chill around.

After twirling his finger to loose strands of his blond hair for what seemed to be hours whilst laying on his mattress, he finally sat down as a huge sigh escaped his mouth.

His white shirt hung loosely in his thin frame as he wondered if it'll ever fit. With the collar so loose, he swore he could see the tattoo-like soulmark engraved in his collar bone. He thinks it's lame, a bad place for it to be displayed in the eyes of many people watching and silently spreading words about him.

He isn't too paranoid about it. But the thought of people judging him silently for the person he's bound to be with is painfully suffocating him. He closed his eyes with the thought still in mind as if he's meditating, a few hours from now, he can feel it. Something is bound to happen again.

Many scenarios ran through his head, being shot, run over or stabbed, even the possibility of being robbed would put his heart in a stop. Which is lame, considering the fact that he's got nothing except for a couple of changes that he got from Cartman after doing multiple dares.

His eyes darted right to where his old clock, 6:37 am displayed and he decided it's time to go. He wore his parka that was laying on the floor after being tossed yesterday and unplugged his keypad phone he received from Stan for his 15th birthday. He plugged his earphones in his phone, playing the song that he looped last night before falling asleep.

Walking down the stairs was pretty calming, there's no shouting from his parents as he guessed they were passed out from their late night shifts. After his dad got hired as a security guard, Kenny didn't know if he should be happy or doubt it. He believes that no rational people would hire him as from his records, there is always a streak in his job application for getting fired because of embezzlement. He didn't know how he could last up to 5 months in this job.

He grabbed a poptart he hid in the cupboard, reserving two for Karen and one for Kevin, he wasn't sure if Kevin ate his but if he didn't, Karen would get three. He went on his way to the door, timingly as Karen went down.

"Ken, leaving so early?" Her tired voice would come barely as a squeak.

"Yeah, you know how I am." He smiled, although he was sure she wouldn't know that considering the parka covering nearly his whole face.

"Mhm, take care. Love you." She waved her hands before stepping in the kitchen.

"Love you too." Before closing the door and steps being buried in snow.

His heart kept on beating rapidly, and he swore he was going to die in a heart attack at any moment but he sucked it up, holding his breath. Walking to the same familiar stop where he would stand by in the 17 years of his existence.

Stan and Kyle were already there when he arrived, the same topic over and over before drifting in Chemistry where Stan would occasionally nod and Kyle would ramble.

"--and I don't understand dude. Like polyatomic anions would have its root word followed by ite or ate but it doesn't make sense when Ms. Seabra named ClO2 as perchlorate ion and ClO- as chlorate ion! Then she proceeds to make C negative! You hear me, Stan?! Negative! You can't make it negative, and she began naming -ClO as chlorite ion!"

"Yeah, dude. Totally, it sucks." Stan trailed, his mind obviously elsewhere but in the conversation. His eyes landed at Kenny. "Hey dude," without any energy.

"Hey," He muffled back.

"I heard there's a party at Tolkien's tonight at 8, you coming?" This time, Kyle stopped talking to listen in on their conversation.

"I don't know, Stan. I feel kind of drained."

"Are you sick?" He asked, putting his palm on the younger one's forehead. "Your temperature seems normal."

"I'm fine, besides I have to study."

Stan's face twisted at the reply, ever since highschool started, Kenny had bigger dreams and decided he would become a scientist of some sort. Kenny was smart, he just doesn't show it but it was enough to pass each class with a B minus, plus and an A minus on other occasions.

"We don't have any homework or any tests though?"

"I know, I'm just trying to get a scholarship. I don't have enough saved up for college and the government subsidy doesn't cover it." He said in one breath and Stan seemed to tune down at this.

"But graduation is eight months away?"

"Yeah, I know." He said, trying to tiptoe to get into Stan's height in secret, he wanted to be equal with Stan. He idolized him and wanted to be like him. Sadly his growth spurt disappeared without any warning, leaving him the same height as Bebe with a whopping 5'4. It was sad, he considered it a tragedy, If only he had the right amount of nutrition.

"But it's Saturday tomorrow? It doesn't hurt to skip study sessions every once in a while." His head swiftly turned at Kyle, the ivy-bound league a.k.a the captain of the Basketball team, his suggestion seemed so scandalous considering this guy's head is always drowning in thousand pages of literature books and he smiled like it was the most normal thing for him to say.

"No shit dude! Are you coming?" Stan seemed baffled.

"Yeah, I wouldn't miss it. I think being out of my room without drowning in sweat and sitting 24/7 would be better, my chiropractor suggested I stop slouching." He nervously laughed, reminiscing last time his chiropractor's face would drown in disappointment since he wouldn't listen to the guy's advice.

"Hell yeah, we're gonna get wasted!" Stan slings his arms around Kyle and Kenny's shoulders while swaying.

"Holy shit, Kyle. Are you getting on drugs?" Cartman made his way in the stop, taking his place beside Kenny while one of the sling in his bag was on one side of his shoulder and his other hand in his pocket.

He looks like a gangster, Kenny thought.

"Fuck you, Fatass!" Kyle held his middle finger as he turned at the kid on the other side of the group.

"Not you skipping study session, fucking sucks seeing you at Tolkien's."

"Who told you you're invited?"

"The whole school is invited, stupid Jew. In case you didn't know that, you're welcome." He spat, rolling his eyes at the fuming redhead paying him mind.

"I'm going then," Kenny mumbled.

"Hell yeah, Kinny! We could do drugs." Eric elbowed him while wiggling his eyebrows.

"You know I can't man, I've been clean for a year and you know that." Eric rolled his eyes. "Pussy."

"Leave him alone, Fatass." Kyle chorused leading the both into an argument.

Stan and Kenny stood uncomfortably whilst the two bickered nonstop, sleep left Stan's eyes as the guy shifted and faked a cough at the fuss early in the morning.

"What are you listening to?" Stan scanned the earphones that were tucked in the blond's pockets.

"Nunya." He winked.

"Haha, very funny." Stan rolled his eyes jokingly. "Have you found them yet?" He shifted the topic as Kenny laughed at the attempt.

"You know I've pretty much given up finding them, Stan. You know that," He patted the guy's back. "Besides, I don't really care that much. If they're nice, then they're nice. If they're fucked up, then be it." He watched Stan's shoulders slumped at the answer. Kenny knew this too well, Stan's a total romantic and he already found his soulmate--Wendy and hearing Kenny talk about his soulmate like it's not a big part of his life drained him.

"It's okay dude. Maybe you're really bound to leave South Park and meet them in some fancy university, maybe in Seattle or California." He laughed.

"Yeah, I plan to move to California when I'm stable."

"That's cool," Stan nodded.

A couple more minutes as Butters pulled up with his BMW X4 in front of the stop and the four did not hesitate to climb up his car.

Kenny took the front seat without hesitation, not wanting to be trapped in the back for now. It's always been him and Eric alternating and this is one of those days where he refused to give up the spot. Still hearing the bickering, he prayed to God or Satan that Eric didn't make him sit at the back.

"How ya doin' Ken?" Butters smiled at him. It was painfully brighter when he smiled and Kenny swore that he literally charged any sort of solar panel across Colorado.

"I'm great, you?"

"Same as ever. Ya know it." He winked.

Kenny returned the gesture as he sank at the seat, his head bobbing at the Lo Fi music Butters grew to love.

Kenny seems to drift his eyes back to Butters, examining the middle school wimp and how his physique drastically changed after joining the Baseball club. Like the kid was Stan's height and it was nowhere near his ridiculous 5 something maybe like 6'0. Don't ask him how it happened, he would be devastated to know.

Still, his eyes trailed at the cuffs that's closely connected at the steering wheel and bold golden letters were seen peaking. Unlike his, pure black. Kenny always wondered how Butters found his soulmate but the latter would avoid the topics like the plague. He wouldn't talk about them, the only information he revealed was he met them in North Park.

Before they knew it, they arrived at school 30 minutes early.

Walking in the empty hallways has been a real pleasure, no dumb chattering that seems to be every student's source of stress. Just their footsteps that echoes and a couple early birds that would stall in their lockers.

Putting his combination and grabbing the only subject he loathed which is Pre-Calculus, he quietly made his way beside Cartman's locker which was next to Butters.

"Not going to lie, he's fucking ridiculous! The only time I decided to show up, that stupid Jew chose to go!" He ranted, still not over the argument which Kenny thought was starting to get annoying.

"Uh-huh, I'm not sure about that, Eric.." Butters timidly said while clutching his Pre-Calculus book.

"Dude, just drop it." Eric rolled his eyes at the lack of sympathy as he cussed whilst tossing his bag to the locker without grabbing anything. "Whatever."

First period was stressful to say, Kenny wouldn't say that he didn't learn anything, it's just that he never really enjoyed it. He jotted down notes because the least he could do is to review them later cause he is not Craig-ass-Tucker who would sleep halfway the lesson and would still pass with flying colors.

Speaking of Craig, he looked at the guy, his shoulders slumped as he seemed to be fixated at the lesson. It's been years so he wouldn't wear his blue chullo anymore. It was pretty entertaining watching other people do their stuff so Kenny decided to drop copying the writings in the blackboard as he observed Craig's right hand making its way to his boyfriend's back. Rubbing it in slow motion as Tweek relaxed at the sensation. It was no surprise that these two would eventually end up as soulmates since before they began dating, everyone already placed bets on it. Truly a match made in heaven as their golden soulmarks were displayed for the world to see, placed in their napes the world swore its dripping in cockiness, 'You okay, babe?' and 'Yeah, this time I'm actually fine'. As a person who does not place his love life in the line most of the time, there was actually a tinge of jealousy that Kenny felt.

Besides, he felt goosebumps run in his neck while he imagined Craig whispering those words at Tweek, he honestly felt sick. Babe? Ew.

The bell rang and this time, it was time for art class. His favorite subject in the whole world. Without waiting to walk with any of his friends, he skidaddles his way to the art room, picking the front seat as always. Soon, the teacher came in with blocks of unopened clay, timingly as the others came in and the teacher paired the students and encouraged them to make a pottery with the theme of their choosing. Dramatic and he loves it.

Sitting at the same table of his chosen pair, he is suddenly faced with Craig Fucker. The guy's eyes were squinted as he silently judged him. He was holding himself back and calming his dear poor soul telling himself to hold his cool and not to choke the guy sitting in front of him. He might lack the height but thankfully he was brick rock strong in fistfights.

Wait, is he going to die because of a fistfight?

Probably not, he's just overthinking it.

"Well! If it isn't Craig Tucker!" He donned a shit-ass smirk as the giant scoffed at him.

Okay, rude and arrogant fucking bastard.

"So, what do you think would be a great theme?" He looked at his partner hoping for the other to cooperate as he browsed some ideas. The other scanned his look, trying to read him, before his poker face dropped.

"Fuck this."

"What?"

"Nothing. We should make a vase resembling a middle finger." He flatly said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yeah, what about no, I'd rather not?" Kenny rolled his eyes, opening the fresh batch of clay.

"We'd fail? The taller guy snorted.

"That would be a masterpiece but yeah, we'd fail." He tutted.

-----

School went by in a flash and Kenny was making his way back to Butter's car. Taking the front seat again the moment he stepped inside the car, he felt his stomach drop. Seeing the blond kid's feet in the steering wheel as he leaned back with a cigarette in between his fingers.

"Golly Ken! I didn't know you'd be so early!" He quickly hid the cigarette in his back and said he was doing a shit job at it.

"Leo, your car reeks," He climbed his way in before closing the door and rolling the window down. "And since when do you smoke?"

"I--uh? What?" His face twisted in the same innocent expression when he was being accused. "I don't know, Ken. I... do not?"

"Mhm, it definitely doesn't smell like cigarettes here."

"Right?" Kenny rolled his eyes, as he crossed his arms.

"You coming to Tolkien's tonight?"

"Ken, you know I can't." He laughed before tossing his cigarette out the window. "My parents are going to ground me. They never really let me out of the house."

"I can talk to them."

"They think you're a bad influence," Butters whispered. "But they clearly know I'm not?" His eyebrows scrunched.

"They think Kevin is."

Kenny laughed at his words like he is doped up on dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin. "You're funny." He pointed at Butters and the latter was confused at this.

"Come over at mine and let's do the Physics homework and proceed at Tolkien's yeah?"

"That sounds lovely." Butters cracked a grin, too occupied to notice Kyle, Stan and Eric entering at the backseat.

"Giddy up, Bitch!" Eric kicked the front seat, startling the poor blond.

"Dude, your car smells like shit." Kyle stated the obvious while spraying alcohol to get rid of the smell. "Could you not smoke in the car, Ken? Butters is probably too nice to tell you off."

"Dude, I thought you stopped smoking?" Stan questioned.

Kenny retreated his hands holding both to his sides. "Chill, I can't help it." He shot Butters a side glance seeing the kid avoid his gaze and began to turn his car.

After dropping Kenny off at the train tracks, he made his way to his house and it's no big surprise it has become quiet.

"How ya doing, Kenny?" Carol's thick accent trailed as she saw her youngest son.

"Great, How about you mom?"

"Oh! I'm good, thank you very much!" She exited the room with a cup of Oolong tea as she comfortably made her way to the couch and sat just to open the tv.

"I'm heading out tonight."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, going to Tolkien's." He dropped his bag, grabbed his physics notebook and decided to make himself another cup of tea. He preferred Mint. Didn't expect that for a poor boy but recurring headaches are too much to handle. At Least they got hot water whenever they wanted.

"Okay, be safe."

He went inside his room with a black mug, placing it down beside his old wooden study table and began to change out of his parka, leaving his loose white shirt to hang before laying with a loud thump in his mattress.

Here it is again, he felt nauseous. Like he was about to burst and he wanted for it to happen so badly but all he can do is to stretch his whole body. It didn't take a genius to figure out what's bound to happen later. He wondered how long would it be again this time? A month? Year? Hours?

He groaned and rolled to his stomach and decided to open his notebook, flipping through the pages so casually he forgot that he hated this subject.

"Holy fuck, what is this? I'm not Einstein." As much as he enjoyed converting liters to milliliters and inches to centimeters, why the fuck would they bother to put them in a word fucking problem and not just instantly give the whole-ass given.

He stretched his fingers making a cracking sound as one would expect it to be and decided to solve and graph the fucking vector that won't magically solve by itself. His eyes felt heavy and he wasn't sure if he was graphing 40 degrees correctly anymore.

The freezing snow seems to make its way inside his room, he probably forgot to shut his window this morning. After finishing the homework, he grabbed his cup of tea, making his way to his front window as he examined the broken window pane.

A few benches outside have snow resting on them like a warm, fluffy feather cushion. It was all perfectly white, covering what appeared to be grass and stones. The snow acted as a gift that can be only unwrapped in spring, revealing innate beauty that has been shielded in all winter. The sunsets came in the type of flames that warm his eyes and his soul, despite the world being a shiver of white and the stars seeming further away in the depths of winter.

It was still 6:21 pm, but it felt like South Park doesn't have a normal schedule for when its sun rises or sets. It just happened whenever it felt like it.

He let out a sigh and couldn't help but note his breath in the cold winter air. However, he was used to the cold cause he tried to; because he hated sweating though he detested walking barefoot on thin ice or in cold weather because, in his opinion, it was like walking in nails.

His room echoed with three thunderous knocks.

"Ken, are you there?"

"Coming!"

He had to look up to see Butters winking and grinning as he stood at the door to look around Kenny's room, and he had fallen to the impression that Kenny had to come to welcome him home. His room seems to be homey more than worn.

He held his right hand to emphasize he brought his notebook with him and a sling bag containing his pc.

"Oh, I already finished the assignment." He smiled at the surprised face displayed at Butter's features.

"Oh gee, then I guess you can help me with mine?" He awkwardly chuckled and Kenny made a gesture for him to sit down on his mattress rather than the chair. It was more comfortable though, your butt sinks and you would feel like sitting in cloud nine, only this cloud is a negative. Butters felt the creaking of springs but did not question it. Kenny's room smelled like linen and mint and Butters have no idea where it exactly comes from.

Pulling his laptop out and playing some music, he opened his notebook and Kenny laid in his stomach and scooted closer to Butter's.

"This one's pretty easy," he pointed at number three.

Butters nodded, seeing how it was without a doubt one of the easier problems.

Kenny watched him like a hawk, silently judging and pointing out the errors he made in the equation he jotted down. Surprisingly, they finished pretty early, the song now playing Good Kid - Pox.

Butters stretched his whole body and proceeded to lay down beside Kenny. Both their vision is in line with the darkened ceiling. He looked to his left, only to see the guy proceeding to stare as if his mind was in space and he was impossible to reach.

But he was the first to break silence, "Are you trying to be different, Leo?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like there is this responsibility assigned to you and all you want to do is to not give in and be different like how you are supposed to be," He finally looked at him, deep ocean blue eyes meeting his scarred light. "like running away from fate?"

Silence.

"I try to act differently, I don't want to pursue medicine like my parents want me to. That's why, in the early stages, I refused to join the student council and tried my best to pass in baseball. Besides, I'm too old for that crap."

Kenny laughed. "Hell yeah."

They continued to stare each other down, none backing away like there's an unspoken fight between the flickering gazes.

"You smell like nicotine." Kenny whispered, Butters swore he smelled traces of mint.

"Should I change?"

"I don't have clothes that'll fit you."

"I don't mind wearing what you're wearing right now." His gaze flicked at Kenny's exposed collarbone, reading the soulmark that's always hidden beneath his parka.

Kenny lifts an eyebrow before grinning as he sat up to remove his shirt, exposing the malnutrition he hid so well as the sightings of his ribs reminded everyone that he probably has one hearty meal in a day or none at all. He looked at Butters, holding his breath and Kenny tossed the white shirt at the older kid.

"Don't worry, I'm not starving." He whispered.

That broke Butters away from his own trance, smiling like nothing happened and he began to undress in front of Kenny. "I know, I just can't get used to the idea that you look like that."

"Like what, Leo?"

"Like a Greek God." Kenny snorted, "You liar."

Butters smiled at the melodic noises the latter was making, pulling up the white shirt that fit his body, but he felt naked with the golden mark engraved in his arms too revealing.

'Do I have to repeat myself?'

Kenny's gaze seemed to follow at the beautiful golden words. He rummaged through his closet and decided in a black plain shirt but eyes darted at the older guy's expression.

"You look sad." Butters smiled in reassurance, holding his palm in a stop motion. "Do I?"

"Yeah, no shit." Kenny sat on his chair, deciding to finish his tea. "A penny for your thoughts?"

Butters shook his head before laying back on the mattress, staring at the words engraved in his arms like it was the most disgusting thing ever. The sight made Kenny pause and look away whilst sipping the hot tea, realizing a fundamental truth.

Not all soulmates love their other half.

The thought twisted his insides, made him sick to his core. Butters wasn't mad glaring at it for no reason and Kenny felt pity--he hated using that word for whoever was on the other side of the line.

"I hate her." He spat and Kenny felt himself shrinking in his seat. Too afraid to say anything, it wasn't like him. He was usually bolder than he imagined but this, he's having none of this.

Butters realized he wasn't alone in the room, like out of the broken tape he was on, he turned to see Kenny and smiled at him without any other explanation. This was effective as it calmed the McCormick kid, not daring to question what the fuck just happened.

Placing his cup on the table, he sat beside Butters and the other sat up facing the other. Having a staring contest was one of their things, what they'd always do and the loser would get to follow Eric around the whole day.

Staring had been their only form of communication. Butters would often look at Kenny rather than into him, as if Kenny's head were clear and he was captivated by something behind his skull. Even if Butters perfectly matched the dictionary definition, "staring" isn't the right term to describe what he did. His eyes close, not without blinking but more slowly, but the impact is gentle and friendly rather than stern. Perhaps his lips, which are tilting but aren't quite smiling, reveal his true feelings.

Kenny's brain appeared to be suffering from a severe short circuit and having trouble processing information. Butters approached him and touched his cheek with the side of his thumb as he drew closer.

Before Kenny could even pause, their lips came together in a tender moment that simply couldn't wait. That kiss in the room that smelled of old linen was so heavenly. Without giving a damn if the other person was gasping for air. It is a rebellion against nature. Still in shock about what had happened, but with drooping eyes, Kenny gently pushed Butters.

"Leo, I don't think we should do this."

"Open your mouth."

"What?"

Holding the blond's jaw, his mouth fell open, leaning in again, their breath connected. On that particular day, Butters lifted a weight with his words, demonstrating the tenderness of his tongue. Kenny pushed once more in great embarrassment, feeling confused because he was unfamiliar with the sensation. His voice came in a whisper, "Stop."

"You should stop, this is cheating, Leo. You know you love her."

"Her?" Kenny looked at the engravings in the other's arms and Butters laughed bitterly. "What makes you say that?"

"It's a reflex, because when you are a teenager you love who loves you."

Butters pulled away, his smile turned sad, bitter. "You.. you have no idea.."

Glancing at the broken clock on the table side, standing up and putting his laptop back to its proper place, and cleaning up.

"I think we should go."

Kenny agreed. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hands.

-----

Pulling over at Tolkien's, Kenny decided to make his way to the crowd. Drunken teenagers were barely in their right minds, many passed out on the porch. Kenny couldn't believe it. His hair slowly became damp, the tight spaces of locked bodies gave him no way to move further. He saw Stan in the distance with Kyle and Tolkien and decided to stumble his way in their direction.

Hot. Even if it's 2°C outside, it was hell.

Stan made eye contact with the poor blonde, before a big grin was displayed in his face. "Kenny! Dude!" He jumped and hugged him, offering him his previous seat.

"Glad you can make it!"

"I wouldn't miss this for the world." That was a total lie, but after what happened, he was relieved to have some sort of escape plan and decided not to question feelings anymore. It was complicated and he hated it.

He needed something to take that fucking stress off of his shoulders.

He took his usual spot, between Kyle and Stan, sitting with one elbow on top of the couch and another supporting his cheek on the other hand. As if sensing his presence, Stan scooted over and pulled him in, wrapping his arm around his shoulders.

Kenny leaned into the touch and closed his eyes. He enjoyed the smell of beer and weed on his friends, but it wasn't enough. He'd much prefer a warm, cozy cup of tea. The thought crossed his mind. Maybe if he could get back home fast he'd manage to grab a few hours of shut eye before work started again. But, unfortunately, it seemed that luck had abandoned him tonight. He sighed and opened his eyes again, watching as Stan continued talking about something or someone he didn't really register.

"Are you listening?" Stan asked.

"Yea, I've been listenin'. You were just talkin'." It sounded like an excuse, but they both knew it wasn't the case. Kenny tried to keep up the facade of normality, to look normal when he felt anything close to normal.

Here it is again, stocks and marketing, he didn't know Stan was into that shit, his eyes scanned the whole area, the music was blasting loud, he could feel his eardrum beat the same time as the bass of the speakers would.

It made him feel sick. Like a headache in his head, but he couldn't place it in any specific place. He kept shifting in his seat, feeling uneasy in such a large space. He wanted to stand up and leave, get away from everyone and everything, but he didn't want to be rude so he stayed put, listening.

"-so then he asks me what's wrong," Stan finished the story and laughed.

Tolkien laughed along. Stan noticed Kenny and stopped joking around. "Hey buddy, are you good?" He asked, concern evident on his face.

"Yeah, I'm good." No hell, he isn't.

Kyle handed him some sort of fruit punch and without any hesitation, he drank it all in one gulp.

"Holy shit, looks like someone about to pass out." Tolkien looked at the blond and Kenny gave him a shrug.

"You should enjoy tonight, Ken. Looks like you've got many things in your mind."

"Oh no, I'm all good." He handed his glass back to Kyle and decided to steal the redhead's drink and consumed it in one go.

The three scrunched their faces on the shortest kid, eyes meeting each other and in total contemplation of the guy's actions.

There it is again, as soon as Kenny thought the worst could happen and thought it passed just before he left the house, his stomach churned and his heartbeat was beating rapidly like he was intoxicated. Fuck, he's going to die, isn't he?

Tolkien took notice of the blond's state and decided to scan his party, seeing no entrance he pointed upstairs in the first room.

"Dude, you seem out of it." He received a shrug. He looked at the Ivy-league bound and gestured again. Kyle rolled his eyes, seemingly comfortable in his seat but obliged anyway.

He put Kenny's arms just across his shoulder and began to drag him in the said room. He made eye contact with Stan whose eyes were glued in the crowd, probably finding Wendy in the tight spaces.

He rolled his eyes at his best friend's lack of attention before turning away and looking at the barely functioning friend he's got. "You shouldn't go to parties if you're just going to end up like this."

Kenny laughed, this time he thinks it's actually pretty funny. "Exactly the reason why you should go, don't you think?"

"No dude, you look like you're emotionally drained."

"That I am."

Kyle pondered for a moment before reaching in a solution, his small steps guided the limping body in the stairs, as to the fuck why he had no idea how Kenny can be so fucking wasted just after 2 shots of fruit punch. It was ridiculous.

Making small steps in the stairs, guiding the blond, Kyle unlocked the door and decided to drop the barely functioning kid in the bed.

He laid in the corner, letting his body sink next to Kenny's, his heart in par with the beat of the loud music down below. Kyle thinks it's a great party, honestly. After celebrating Tolkien's victory in the school's regional speech debate, South Park can't seem to get enough of the pride dripping down their throats so he wouldn't be too surprised if he ever saw one of their teachers in the party.

His attention made its way back to the blond who groaned in pain, clutching his chest as Kyle fell into panic that it could be a potential heart attack. But it wasn't.

Instead, it was the kind of low groan that told Kyle what he's really feeling at the moment and not for the first time since they met each other, Kyle felt an overwhelming urge to protect him from everyone else.

He reached over to pull him up by the arm, "Don't pass out on me, dumbass." he whispered before looking at his hand on top of Kenny's.

It seemed to make the situation fine as Kenny let out another whine, but his eyes were still closed in bliss, so Kyle couldn't tell how far gone this was. "Kyle," he said quietly before his voice weakened. Kyle looked at him waiting.

"Do you have any music on your phone?"

Kenny finally asked after taking a few moments to breathe.

Of course he had music on his phone. The answer seemed obvious so Kyle pulled his phone out and handed it to him without hesitation. He could hear his breath hitch at the way Kenny opened it, the blond was so bizarre, he even pulled out a headphone that Kyle was sure wasn't even there before plugging it in. He waited patiently as the blonde pressed the power button on the bottom of his phone and placed the earpiece in his ear. As soon as it was done, he pressed play and it started playing some song he recognized.

His eyebrows furrowed and examined the kid, "Hey Kenny?"

Kenny turned to look at the green orbs that were fixated in him.

"I know it's been hard, " He started, "And I could feel the same way. Like my parent's fights have been frequent, it's not anything serious but it was something out of the ordinary. This time, they couldn't care less if Ike and I would hear them," Kenny continued staring, listening and examining the redhead which made him uncomfortable."I mean--I know you've got it real bad and all. But all I'm trying to say is that you should get past your family problems." He played with his fingers as he avoided the piercing gaze that would shoot through his head.

"Mhm, I guess." Was his response and Kyle bit his lip.

Kenny was touched, it wasn't his family that was his problem now. But if it really was, he appreciated the other kid. Looking at Kyle, he noticed the soft freckles that were set to run in a patterned manner in his face. His eyes were green, only dimmed by the lack of light but highlighted by the disco lights coming from outside the window. His lips were red, beautiful, and somehow even if he should have his knees buckling and heart racing right now, he just didn't feel it.

But Kyle was beautiful. That is what he really thought of him.

His heart thumped, felt the sharp pain and he thought it was going to stop for a moment, he decided to hold his breath. He knows that if he'll continue to breathe, he'll have a panic attack. Kyle's eyes flashed into a worry but Kenny's warning eyes made him shut up. As if it wasn't enough, Kyle stroked his head before pulling his parka down to reveal his face.

"Just thought you're lacking oxygen." He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.

Kenny nodded in appreciation before he could steady and breathe normally, taking shallow breaths, he was now hating the fact this time he couldn't die fast. Time was making a monster out of him, dragging his lungs for how long before he was on his knees begging death to take him and he'd jump right off in river Styx.

Without warning, what was made of him, it was like he saw the plague on a demonic scale.

"Are you.... crying?"

His breath hitched, touching his cheek that was wet from the tears. He couldn't sob, he couldn't. This was what he really hated, maybe it was fate playing with puppets but he knew damn well it wasn't his free will that decided to break down in front of his best friend.

"Should I try and stop..?" He wiped his tears, shielding his face away from Kyle's.

Kyle did his best and wiped his tears even though feeling uncomfortable considering the fact he was a germaphobe.

Kenny knew what it was, he was afraid of death. Afraid even it would happen to him a thousand times over and over again, he doesn't like the dark. We was afraid of the dark, even if his house were lit up in candles on times his mom couldn't pay the electricity bills, he hoped the candle would stay burning forever.

"Hey Kyle?" He heard a hum.

"Remember that one time Cartman told me to die?"

Kyle's face twisted, he remembered no such thing and even if he did, Cartman was an asshole for telling him so and it's no excuse for him to just carry on and leave Kenny broken like this. Cartman is the son of a bitch, literally.

"Are you... afraid of dying?" Kenny let out a hollow laugh.

"Getting philosophical now, are we?" His son was caught in his throat, like if he'd open his mouth, he would be a mess and would start wailing like a small child. Kyle scanned his face, before smiling and this time, it did reach his eyes.

"...Yeah.. Why?"

"Because the thought of disappearing...of being forgotten, terrifies me... and makes me sad."

He had this dream. A dream of timeless triumph. Served at his table hot. Kenny tried to touch it and it burned so he refused to eat it. He told himself to wait until it cools down, but as soon as it starts to cool down, he starts to lose his appetite. But the soup on the table looked too good so he was just satisfied by looking at it, but he didn't realize it was beginning to rot. Still, he didn't dare throw it away. So the soup itself evaporated on its own. One day, he realized the only thing remaining in this earth to remember him will disappear.

So one day, he'll make sure that everybody will know his name.

Kyle smiled without judgment, unlike the boy who grew up with all seriousness and flickering anger issues, he did not recognize this kid he grew up with. Soft eyes landed in him, not in a million years would he thought Kyle so capable of looking so empathetic, if that's whatever it's called. "Me too."

The thought that he wasn't the only one who shared his visions made his insides giddy and he imagined the both of them going down in history, it was funny. But Kyle once claimed he doesn't want to be a lawyer anymore and proceeds to study psychology. Kenny thought it was funny but not impossible, maybe a well known psychologist? He can picture it.

"What the fuck are you fags doing!?"

They both turned to see Cartman in the door banged open, his mean fat demeanor making a silhouette in the back of the flickering disco lights.

"What the hell, man?!" Kyle shot up in the position he was in and Kenny wiped possible dried tears in his eyes.

"Ooh~ Kenny and Kyle? Did I interrupt something?" He wiggled his eyebrows as if suggesting something scandalous. But his face fell after a minute.

"Or maybe not, you virgins just suck and wouldn't do the deed."

Kenny glared at the kid and got up from the once comfortable position he grew accustomed to. Eric noticed the exposed face but decided not to question it and stepped aside as Kenny made his way to the door and bumped him while making his way out.

Leaving Kyle in the room, he stared at his archenemy and Eric made the same gesture, noting Kyle's features. It was all normal but the enlightened expression did not leave and Eric registered the fact that he possibly did interrupt something.

"Holy Shit, you better suck that boner up you stupid Jew!"

"Shut your bitch-ass mouth, fatass."

-----

Kenny trudged and dragged his foot on the icy pavement, his breath still visible in the cold air. He was mesmerized at the laws that his breath went through his parka, he swore air is impossible to get out.

A twinge of pain smacked his head, he felt his ears ringing. He had to cover his hands to his ears but the ringing traced it came inside his head.

'.. Sjdjl. Dddkf. Fdddf....'

Tiny whispers and radio broadcasted sounds were all he could hear for a second, it scared him. But nothing never scares Kenny Mccormick, in the end he'll just have to deal with it. Just a sip of hot mint tea and he'll be fine.

Making his way in the familiar, run down house, Stuart was outside smoking. As soon as he saw Kenny, he observed the little guy who was tip-toeing around his father, bowing his head in order not to meet his gaze.

"Where have you been?"

Kenny gulped.

"At Tolkien's."

Stuart didn't say anything and left the kid to go inside the house, he saw Carol passed by the couch, TV still on so he decided to turn it off. He realized he hadn't had dinner and smelled broth in the kitchen that somehow didn't appease his appetite.

Normally he'd just eat any leftovers served but he didn't felt like it today and so he proceeded in his room, removing his parka and his pants. Surprisingly, whatever weight in his chest disappeared.

The pain disappeared as soon as he felt his body unwind and his mind start to function normally once again. He carried on as usual, but a little happier than before. He found it to be strange though, nothing happened. Well, except for Butters but he didn't die. It was weird, as much as he loved it, he considered it as the calm before the storm. Maybe he already passed the storm and he had no idea?

He stood in the broken mirror in his room, his black shirt did him no justice and again, displayed the malnourishment and it hung loose. He smelled bullshit. Wary and tensed, his eyes scanned the golden stain in his shoulder, eyes widening and his hands balled into a fist.

'Are you afraid of dying?

Holy shit he should've known.

Saturday

He woke up with the sound of notifications on his keypad phone, as much as it was the easiest model poor people could get used to, he couldn't seem to figure out how to turn the music down. The stupid sound of messages had him reaching in his bedside table and saw a notification from Kyle.

Right, Kyle.

He opened it and saw nothing but a useless,

Kyle B.

"Hey."

He rolled his eyes, not ready to sit down so he just turned on his side to adjust and make himself more comfortable.

Kenny M.

"Kyle it's so early in the fucking morning"

Kyle B.

"Oh yeah, sorry. Right."

Kenny didn't respond as it seems to set off some boundaries between the two. Is this what Butters felt? The lack of love for the other. Now he just straight up felt like shit at the idea of the other being like all the normal people. But he doubts it, South Park isn't normal.

But Kenny was sure it wasn't just because it's Kyle, he just never felt attracted to anyone in particular. Sure, Kyle's got the looks but it wasn't enough to make his heart race and he never felt the thrill of middle school girls going crazy for the seniors.

Kenny began to pull out a photo of Kyle and Stan in his phone, it was taken when the two were possibly figuring out how his shit phone works. He stared at the redhead in order to get that cardiac arrest everyone called butterflies. For the record, he understood that words are more poetic than actions. But when all else failed, body language was a universal language.

He didn't feel it. Fucking complicated.

The ringing returned and he felt like his head was about to burst, suddenly it was painful. Unlike last night, he thought that it would go away, maybe it was just hungover but he didn't remember drinking so he wouldn't pin point to that. It was short-lived and he couldn't help but stare at the ceiling for a minute, contemplating what to do with his life.

He groaned at this and began to turn, questioning many things. It was annoying, love being the center of his thoughts like he was meant to live and revolve around it and he'd drop dead the moment he looked away.

He scoffed the thought, glaring at the 4:20 am numbered in his clock and he wished that he could just rewind time and just sleep and I don't know... Maybe not wake up anymore?

He stood up, grabbing a jogger and he still kept the black shirt from yesterday, not bothered to wear the parka anymore. He made his way outside the house, one step forward and another. He'd be happier to just slip and fall but that would be too much to ask and he'd be too dramatic.

He didn't hate Kyle, no. He never really got to that idea in the first place, it was just weird. He was like a brother, that was attractive and would make you question your sexuality at times but that was all. Platonic and happy. I mean it wouldn't be too hard to just stay as friends and spend their days together in some sort of fancy retirement home where they'd play golf and beat each other at chess. But sadly Kenny knew to play none of those things.

His blond hair was a mess and he didn't bother to fix it, it was 4 am anyways. Who the hell takes walks so early at 4 am? Him probably?

He passed by the familiar train tracks and decided to skip over it, relieved that no train seemed to be operating at the hour.

His goal was set to mind and his feet directed him in the same familiar house he's been coming over non-stop ever since he was a toddler. He was about to pull out his earphones to make him seem more relaxed.

"K-Kenny?" He turned to see Tweek join him, his mouth zipped like it was meant to be sewn. He did not expect the twitchy blond to join him.

"What are you doing this early?" He raised an eyebrow as Tweek laughed, looking down to meet Kenny's eye and scratched his chin.

"Morning walk, I have an 8-hour s-shift later at the café."

Tweek probably did this all the time but how the fuck would he know? He doesn't wake up at 4 in the fucking morning.

"How about you?" He smiled, offering the most beautiful smile he could ever give, though Kenny swore he saw the other's hands that were behind his back, shaking.

"Not gonna lie, I feel tired. Can't go back to sleep you know?" He looked at the guy who sheepishly tried his best to relate. "Yeah... I-I hate when those things happens." Kenny was weirded out on how Tweek approached him first and would be less twitchy now. Still the same old Tweek though, he doubts the other would get enough sleep and is a living coffee machine. He'd probably believe that the kid would inject caffeine in his veins. Is it just him or was he extremely judgemental today?

"I-if you're ever feeling uncomfortable, j-just tell me s-so.." He didn't want to be rude but the kid didn't speak any English right now. Wondered how he still passes all of his classes with straight decent scores. Can be found eating only peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and sometimes he wondered if Tweek ever thought of selling his organs just to get sufficient money for the coffee he brought every period.

Then there it is, close by and the familiar green paint with a two story house. Kenny looked at it seeing the difference in class between the sight of such polished walls and his run-down residence. It was easily described in words whose family was well off and whose family wasn't. It was okay though, he lived his life in the judging eyes of many residents and it came to the point where everybody knows who Kenny McCormick is.

He stole a glance at the little bit taller blond, seeing him so peaceful in the early morning and couldn't help but feel jealous to have such a mindset.

Tweek's hair flows in the air, you would never believe such beauty covered and possessed by the twitchy kid. His eyes glowed with a beautiful color even though the sky was dull and there was no sun located in sight.

"You should s-stop staring. It's too much pressure." He glanced down but Kenny didn't expect him to smile.

Seeing as how he was steps away from his destination he turned to the opposite direction pointing at the green painted house and waving the other goodbye. "This is me."

Tweek didn't question it cause he thought it wasn't weird at all so he patted the poor kid's back, hands still unsure but firm before walking away to resume his morning walk.

He made his way to the back where there were broken fences that they used to sneak out as kids, basically it was trespassing property but does he look like he'd care?

He threw a rock small enough to reach Kyle's window without breaking it, two poor attempts and it didn't take long until the eldest son peeked out and opened his window.

His eyes narrowed as he scanned his backyard but it fell quickly as he made eye contact with Kenny.

"Kenny? W-What are you doing here!?" He stammered at his words, he felt his face flush, he swore he was painfully similar of a cherry tomato.

"Settling things down... Making things clear?"

Kyle gulped at the answer, his hands fumbled before regaining his senses and dashed to open the door. He hoped no one woke up and he was quiet enough, but he wasn't all to sure anymore, his palms are fucking sweating.

Feeling the winter breeze, his eyes met Kenny. His heart was beating in his ears and he felt his mouth dry up. He never felt this nervous around his second best friend. Well most times, yeah but this is another story.

"Hey."

Kenny gave him a nod before stepping inside the house and making his way upstairs in Kyle's room. He didn't know why but Kyle felt embarrassed at the thought even if he knew Kenny could live here 24/7 on occasions.

He followed politely, but let the blond walk first.

"What do you mean by settling things down?" He clarified.

Kenny's shoulders slumped and the action seemed to speak louder than any response. Is it just him or is Kenny in the more problematic side of things in between them?

Between them? Was there really something existent there? Second best friends, maybe but nothing too deep. No history on its own like the quarrels he had with Cartman. That at least has its chemistry.

His heart thumped, nervously he fiddled with his fingers and lots of questions came to mind. Honestly it has been a shock to find out that Kenny was his soulmate, er--Kenny wouldn't like that train of thought.

Kyle knew himself to be rational but all of that rationality would seem to be useless whenever he and Kenny talked. Kenny was logical, it was driving him nuts.

As a friend, hell-- he couldn't even call the blond friend. More of like an emergency friend since Kenny claimed that title ever since December of the 9th grade when Stan wasn't present due to Football practice and he wasn't taking risks hanging out with Cartman so it was him and Kenny for 2 weeks.

That was the time he found out that stars glimmered and shone in Kenny's eyes whenever he talked seriously and got philosophical over the most useless of things.

Kenny stepped inside his room and there Kyle finally took a view of the parkaless kid and observed the black tee hung over his frame.

"We gonna do this or what?"

"What?"

Kenny turned to him, frowning. "You doing me?"

Kyle's eyes widened and felt the redness coming back to his cheeks, his adrenaline pumped like there was to tomorrow.

"D-do y-what!?"

Kenny raised an eyebrow before plopping down Kyle's bed, arms still crossed at the redhead who just can't seem to register his best friend's words.

"You're flustered."

Kyle put his hands as a reflex, shying away at Kenny.

"Sit down, Kyle."

He was panicking but decided to sit down beside Kenny in his bed, still hands on his face and hearts about to rip the seams. Shit, does he have to end up with Kenny? He doesn't want to be rude and say the wrong things but Kenny coming over for a talk is draining his morality like a fire in the hole.

"Kenny look, I really do like you like a brother but you should know I am only attracted to people but not in a sexual way and I get that you're my soulmate so we might have to do this sooner or later and I don't really think we've reached to that point where we can get comfortable with our bodies and the best I can give you right now is to kiss you but I'm so sorry, I really don't know how kissing works and I may be awkward and all but I promise when I'm ready I'll give your first time, the best than what you're asking for--"

"Chill dude. I'm kidding." He stopped at this, he looked over at Kenny's direction seeing the shades of red in his ears which he thought to be very amusing if it weren't for his embarrassing rant.

"Oh..."

Yeah, this was embarrassing. He's got so much to say but it was hard to start, he doesn't worry though cause he's patient. Kenny wasn't.

"Hey, I like you." He started slowly, looking at the unchanging face of the blond.

"Don't force yourself." Kenny repositioned himself to lean in the bedpost. His hands now on his knees but his eyes looked away, he was uncomfortable. "But that's a good attempt." He added.

Kyle blinked then, his ears seemed to fail him.

"But.. Are you not bothered by that?"

"Like hell I wouldn't, but Kyle.. Let's be real here, you don't see me as a potential life partner." But his face remained unchanged, this scared Kyle, did Kenny not like him back? I mean the soulmate came in as a shock but it's only been day one. He would expect them to celebrate and parade over the whole town to showcase that the poor kid who they would judge endlessly and the out of this world, not-so-fit-in-a-small-town is bound to be fated together.

Even so, this doesn't change anything. He loves Kenny like a family, soulmate or not, either way he would flip his chance to pursue him but this time, it was an additional bonus that Kenny will begin to comply.

Maybe not with his love confessions, but more with their lives together and the rest of them can continue the lives they have and have no idea about what's going on between them. Kyle wasn't going to give up, there are different times that Kyle would imagine different scenarios when he meets his soulmate and every time, it would always display a perfect life. It had never been anything less than perfection, just like how his own life is. He can do that for Kenny too. If Kenny wants it, then yes, he'll be happy with that. Maybe Kenny will also enjoy being a part of the 'family' because Kenny is still like his brother now.

His eyebrows furrowed, his moodiness getting back to him and it was his turn to cross his arms and stare directly at Kenny.

"Look at me." But he knew damn well Kenny doesn't have enough attention span to last in a staring contest and this time, he knew the kid was somewhat uncomfortable.

Kenny dragged it on before making eye contact with the redhead. "Give us a chance alright?" His voice soft.

"I promise it wouldn't have to be a double effort, I can make this work."

Kenny stared at him and it was obvious that he won't be negotiating any time soon. But his looks were clearly giving hints and it was somewhat in between 'suit yourself' or 'you do you' and it was not much of a choice but Kyle appreciated it.

His eyes trailed down the other's jaw, after seeing the golden mark that warmed his heart. 'Are you afraid of dying?'

The question was random, but it revealed the seriousness of that moment, his hands made their way to the mark and Kenny couldn't help but flinch.

"Please, don't touch it."

Retreating his hands per request, he didn't know what came over him but it stung. Maybe it was just the beginning so he didn't really have to mind it any further and it could all be some useless request that would eventually fade with time.

Kenny on the otherhand, saw the golden letters peeking in Kyle's collar for the first time, his dark green pajama highlighted it like it was some expensive display that no one was bound to see but it would be no secret to the world once he would put on his basketball jersey without any shirt underneath.

He knew this time, the ivy-bound-league would be showing it off and it scared him, he might just shut his mouth and put everyone off his radar who considered him a suspect.

'Getting philosophical now are we?'

It looks scandalous that it would normally make others red. It didn't give off the same vibe to him.

"May I hug you?" With open arms, Kyle looked at the blond.

"Go ahead." and he wrapped his arms around Kenny, smelling the fresh linen that was always stuck with the blond. "I promise this is going to be worth it."

Kenny, without much of a choice, stayed quiet but nodded his head.

Monday

"Which fucker did you pay for it to get it done?!" Cartman screamed at the hallway, eyes shot to him as he began yelling curses, insults followed by the word 'stupid Jew'.

Curios eyes scanned the basketball captain as he displayed his fucking soulmark to see. It has been years that many people would closely pay attention to one's soulmark after Craig and Tweek's. Frankly enough, Stan and Wendy didn't get this much attention unlike the redhead who was parading by himself in his jersey and his backpack in his back.

Whispers were filling the hallway and Kenny swore he felt himself shrink and turn away when he made a brief eye contact with the captain and he flashed him a smile.

"I wonder who his soulmate is." Butters said, eyes following Kyle and Kenny laughed.

"Hey, how about getting to class early?" He looked at Butters, narrowing his eyes because Butters normally thought of Kenny as someone who'd get involved with his friends no matter what, didn't question it and didn't find it weird so he grabbed his Pre-Calculus book before nodding.

Both walked to class and made their way to their seats.

Sitting beside Butters like the usual, he began to flip through the pages of his book and underlined the bold letters before the class started filling in with students.

"I bet she's from North Park!"

"She's like so lucky!"

"Imagine marrying Kyle, ugh! Can't relate!"

"Too bad, I thought Kyle had a crush on me. We always make eye contact whenever he plays."

"The Broflovski found a soulmate, let's go!!"

"Holy shit, dude. Did you see his soulmark? It was fucking dope!"

"I bet his soulmate is a nerd, like what kind of normal person would say something like that?"

"How about we celebrate at Captain's later?"

Kenny had to cover his ears, it was always Kyle this, Kyle that. Even his parka alone could not tune the noise down and it was getting annoying--scratch that, it was annoying.

He turns to see Butters somehow listening to the conversation, he seemed happy about it and Kenny gets that this was Kyle they were talking about and they have to make a fuss. But it doesn't matter to him, hell, he thinks Craig is hotter but lacks the fanbase.

Why was it like that?

Oh right, he's gay.

He rolled his eyes, diverting his eyes to somewhere and not the clouded windows of the room and he made eye contact with the twitchy Blond.

He held his breath as Tweek examined him after, no judging eyes. Just plain Tweek and every other second he would twitch nonstop with the lack of the familiar person who is always tailing him like a mad dog.

Tweek seemed to figure something out, with the shorter blond across him holding his breath and with eyes like a deer's caught in a red light, it was no coincidence meeting him in a morning jog at 4 am in the fucking morning and coincidentally stopping by the Broflovski residence.

Scanning Kenny, his eyes softened, seeing as Kenny's eyes were the only features displayed to the blond did not make him blind. No. He knew damn well the same mannerisms he himself once did and could only describe the kid, nervous or in a breakdown, both or something in between.

He guessed the kid didn't want to talk about it nor bring it up, the already stressed bags under his eyes indicated he's been going through something, be it this or another matter. It wasn't his place to ask in the first place, he'd just let him be. So he looked down to his bag, grabbing essentials in this class such as pencils and erasers.

The said redhead entered the room, followed by a bunch of his co-members still in their basketball jerseys. They're supposed to have practice today, it didn't make sense how they could waltz in the room. Tweek was sure that Kyle didn't even have Pre-Calculus on a Monday.

Tweek saw Kenny proceed to duck his head down, slinging his arms in front of him, pretending to take a nap and all other people in the class including Butters were whispering to their seatmate.

Kenny thought this was the worst, especially half of the girls who had a crush on him were prim and proper preppy topnotchers who happened to be half the population of his classmates.

He heard shuffling and little gasps from all around him, steps getting closer and closer and if it couldn't get any worse, the class was in silence like the kid was some big shot they were offering to walk in the ruins of their humble classroom. Closer, closer and a step closer in his direction, he felt like throwing up whatever bile left in his stomach and it stopped.

"Hey Butters," The voice whispered but it was clear as daylight that everybody was listening.

"Oh! Heya Kyle! What's up?" The happy-go-lucky voice that wasn't less inferior matched him.

"I was wondering," he trailed and Kenny couldn't help but take a peek at the voice but only to stay in his place as emerald greens met his, it twisted his stomach and his ears felt like it was ringing, sending signals of broadcasts in his eardrums. "Has Mr. Johnson arrived yet?"

Butters shook his head sadly, seeing on the other side of Kyle's hand was probably an assignment the redhead wished to pass since he'll be training all day and couldn't be bothered to attend classes.

"No, he is running late today. Maybe if you could just place it on his desk, you may be able to pass it." He pointed in the front desk and Kyle nodded with much gratitude and decided to take Butter's advice.

Then, he stretched, his eyes meeting with Kenny's, he smiled. "Hey, dude. You like Madeon, don't you?" He walked closer.

Kenny could feel bile rising from his throat, wide eyed nodding at the question.

"He just released a new song this morning! You should totally check it out!"

"No--I'm good." His tone was cold but soft, Kyle had noticed something and put down his phone with the new music video on the blonde's desk before reaching out for Kenny.

The shorter boy moved back quickly, trying not to show fear.

"Hey, man. It's cool. Just because you have my attention...It's no big deal." Kyle chuckled.

"Yeah..." Kenny mumbled. There was nothing more he needed or wanted to know about Madeon's songs. Nothing else could make him feel better or worse than this. And Kyle wasn't making things any easier by talking.

His smile became slightly strained after that and turned apologetic like they were alone, only for Kyle to give him an amused smirk. "Man, I'm sorry. This isn't how I meant for this conversation to go." He looked at his phone again. "Actually, it's probably what I said would happen if I tried to approach you about one of your favorite artist's new single."

Without a doubt, the class released their breaths and began to chatter when all of a sudden a loud bang came in, opened the door and there stood a familiar mop of black hair and breathing heavily due to excessive running. Wearing the same jersey the basketball team have, his black tattoo soulmark was displayed in his inner arms as he stood standing, his hands supporting the door and maybe a few inches taller than him, he have this look of betrayal before walking in and everybody from the the basketball team began to make way and the ravenhead decided to grip Kyle's collar, it may do the trick to send a message as Kyle almost lost his balance even though he was way taller than the kid.

"YOU HAVE A SOULMATE?!" The kid's piercing voice was enough to break glass. It wasn't deep yet, it was obvious he had yet to hit puberty.

Kyle laughed awkwardly, gently holding the kid's death grip seconds away from ripping his jersey.

"Ike, calm down I can explain.."

"MOMMY IS FREAKING OUT!" The kid rambled, "I AM FREAKING OUT! LIKE WHAT THE HELL KYLE?! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD US FIRST, I HAD TO FIND THIS OUT THROUGH STAN!"

"I was going to tell you anyway," Kyle swallowed a lump in his throat and Ike pouted.

"Look dude, we can take this outside and we can try not to make a fuss in this classroom." Ike's hands loosened before scanning his surroundings, seeing as they were being watched like a midnight opera, he sighed and proceeded to beat Kyle out the door.

Following Ike, Kyle's co-members went leaving Kyle alone in the classroom, the awkwardness urged the others to make sound to not further embarrass Kyle if he is ever feeling embarrassed. He sighed, pulling out another piece of paper from his backpack, huge bold S. Marsh placed it on the front page and he decided to place it on the desk on top of his paper.

Pretty sure everyone knew damn that Stan never passed his assignments, on rare occasions he did, it would probably be forced by either Wendy or Kyle and everyone knew damn well that one of the most famous pairs of best friends were Kyle B, basketball captain and Stan M, star quarterback of South Park High. Beauty and the brains as they would like to describe the duo.

Placing it in the desk, Kyle's eyes briefly met Kenny's before walking away to catch up with his brother.

That was the last bit of straw to Kenny before he stood up, noticing how Tweek and Butters eyes darted to him and Kenny had to run out of the classroom, colliding with Mr. Johnson who was about to open the door, he heard his name being called but he dash to the nearest door he could find, tears clouding his vision, he couldn't breathe, he wouldn't swallow.

Waves of nausea made Kenny feel even worse, so he tucked himself into the warmth of his parka. His dehydration was now too obvious to ignore, and he felt as though his brain would bulge outside the boundaries of his skull. He would have to stumble on his bottom down the hallways. His stomach growled and gurgled once more. He somewhat lifted his heavy eyelids. He must have missed that before because his feet were running aimlessly and were chilly and sticky to the touch. He hurriedly ran across one of the vacant cubicles, shut the familiar white door, pulled his hood up, and threw up on the toilet.

He let it all out. The ringing in his ears started, louder than before. Clear voices that weren't his, trembling, his hands on the side of the toilet, opening his eyes greeted him with the sick bile sitting in display, he could smell it. He hated the stench and he wished he could spit it all out but it would only result in another release.

He felt someone rubbing his back, turning his head, he was met with kind green eyes, lovingly stroking his poor and sticking hair due to sweat. His mouth began to tremble as Tweek handed him a water bottle.

"Tweek..."

"It's okay, I won't tell..."

-----

Kyle thought everything will be all normal, He's right for the most part but half of the part was wrong.

After confirming that he had a soulmate--he did not reveal any hints about that person, Ike was jumping in joy like he'd won the lottery, Cartman was still being a fucking bitch about it, too bad the mascot is required to skip his classes, Stan was still unaware, he and his teammates were absent for the day, they were sent to practice in the main stadium and he hadn't seen Kenny the whole day. Over the phone after the confirmation, Sheila and Gerald were frantically calling up relatives he never really heard of and insisted on throwing a party for him to celebrate with his friends and cousins. They think it's a great idea and hinted that his cousins could possibly find their soulmates at the party.

Which means it's like some sort of Matzo Ball instead of a celebration party, Kyle held himself from rolling his eyes. It was ridiculous, just because he found his soulmate, he was content with a small meet-my-parents, your future in-laws dinner rather than a party that would probably spread his name, not only in North Park--make it the whole Colorado if his parents feel like it.

That was yesterday, today is the day after a careful night of planning and his cousins, aunts and uncles flew from all around the world, Kyle was in his room and so was Ike. His cousins needed an extra room for the whole hour, the guestrooms weren't enough so Ike had to give up his room. They are just going to leave after 12 am so it's not something to struggle with.

He looks up to see Ike staring at his phone from an open conversation with Stan. Ike decided to sit beside Kyle and pretend to act like he wasn't looking at all.

"Is she pretty?" He started, Kyle knows what this is about. He turned to look at his brother before ruffling his hair.

"She is very attractive," He smiled at Ike's lightening eyes, excited to hear more. "You probably know her, you see her like everyday." He laughed when Ike's expression dropped at this, he was pretty sure no girls hung around Kyle except Wendy and Bebe but Wendy is already with Stan and Bebe is already with Clyde.

He raised an eyebrow, narrowing it to people he knew-- he gave up. Probably one of the girls in the bleachers or Kyle's study partners. That or Kyle's lying.

"Don't think too hard about it. I'm sure you'll find yours." Ike laughed, making himself more comfortable in Kyle's room

"I'm not worried about mines," Ike laughed, "In fact, I don't feel like having one."

This raised an eyebrow from the redhead, staring at his younger brother who is now getting occupied with his phone. "Why do you say so?"

"You know? You get that feeling where you just try to think about love and it gross you out? Well--that's technically not the term but you just feel nothing?" His gaze met his brother's questioning one. "Like you know, no thrill, none of those butterflies in the stomach?" Ike motioned to his stomach, eyes widening to emphasize his charade-like description.

"Isn't that kind of lonely?" Now it was his turn to lay down in his bed, pushing Ike in the inner corner.

"Yeah, sometimes but it's more sad to stay in a relationship you can't be committed to." Ike shrugged.

"You know, you're going to change your mind when you find the other person on that line." He pointed at the visible tattoo mark in his younger brother's inner arm.

"Mhm, I might or I might not." Before playing something on his phone.

The party was huge, it was barely 7 pm and people were already crowding in his backyard, he was sure that if they kept it up, he might actually run out of samplers. He sighed at the view in the window, Ike looking in the same direction, his arms crossed and clearly in his pajamas.

Sheila was strict in enforcing rules, Ike's bedtime is 9 pm and any kind of party or celebration is not an excuse to pass his bedtime. He was frowning because he knew he had to stay up in the locked room like he was Rapunzel, but the biggest difference is that at least Rapunzel has no freaking curfews unlike him.

Kyle was frowning in a similar manner, only this time, he was looking at his reflection in the mirror and he was debating whether he would throw up or just drive the people away. He looked neat though, and wasn't complaining at all. His frame was wearing this fancy tuxedo that his parents brought him just this morning after school. It's embarrassing to wear something like this at a party.

But his eyes went to the people and felt like they understood the assignment, they were wearing formal clothes and many guys did also wear a tuxedo. A loud knock can be heard from his door and as he opened it, he was face to face with Stan Marsh in an attractive blue suit, he looked like an mc.

"Stan!"

"Kyle, dude!"

They wrapped each other in a small bro hug after not seeing each other after a day and a half. It was dramatic, they loved it.

"I heard from Cartman, he won't shut up about it," He smiled and Kyle laughed sheepishly before Stan handed him a gift. "Here you go, loverboy."

Kyle took it, raised an eyebrow of suspicion before opening the gift and Stan could not get any happier than this. "DUDE WHAT THE FUCK?!"

He dropped the gift, face tomato red and Stan was cackling like there was no tomorrow, Ike being the confused kid he was, took a peek at the gift before joining Stan.

"You.. might need it.." Stan said in between breaths still holding his stomach in laughter.

"That's... comforting..."

Not wanting to be rude, he swore he's going to throw them later, Kyle picked them up and put them away, just enough for the presence of Stan watching his move, he wished he could wipe that stupid smirk in his face.

"What's up with that back-pack though?"

"I'm planning on staying over," as if his answer is totally valid and not just decided at the last minute.

"For the night?"

"Consider it as a sleepover."

"What are we? 12?"

"People are piling, you should greet the guests dude." Stan nudged him, it was true. His mother would be nagging him if he didn't do the same. He exited the room with Stan, closing the door on Ike. Such a poor kid, he kind of wished he could also have fun, and they talked about their training and once again Kyle ranting about Chemistry.

Walking down the stairs, he was greeted with many bone-crushing hugs from his parents and relatives, he also saw his super sickly cousin Kyle. Like the other Kyle, not South Park Kyle but his cousin who won the lottery a few years back.

On his other line of vision was a bunch of gifts stacked on a table, Eric was actually there too, with a backpack of course, Kyle should've known. Calm and talking to some sort of Jewish girl he has never met before, at least the fatass was calm, that's one less problem he has for the night.

Both Stan and Kyle heard commotion outside and Kyle was about to face-palm when he saw a figure walking towards him. The silhouette of a man emerging from the light. The guy was walking cool and his hands were plastered on his pockets. The guy made an embarrassing entrance as he drove a white Lexus Rx and was now walking, Sheila and Gerald didn't even bother to question it, busy entertaining all the guests.

"Kyle, Congratulations!" Tolkien winked at the starstrucked Kyle, Stan was rubbing circles in his back.

"Thanks..." He trailed, seeing as Tolkien laughed at this, he was looking for something in his pocket before tossing it at Kyle.

His and Stan's jaws hung open before looking back at Tolkien who was laughing heartily like it was him who discovered comedy. "Is this..?"

"Yeah dude, you can keep it." He patted the guys shoulders and Kyle started shaking.

Kyle was sure this was a dream, He didn't remember what right he did in his life aside from studying to earn him such reward, if this is ever a dream, He wished not to wake up anymore.

His dream car, right in his hands.

Holding the keys again, he slowly looked up at Tolkien who was looking around the house party, seemingly satisfied and a content smile displayed in his face.

"Holy Shit," Stan blinked once and twice.

"Oh?" Tolkien might've heard Stan and he offered the guy a humorous laugh.

"Nice party by the way." He pointed at the party, Kyle's mouth still dried, nodded at this and Tolkien couldn't help but laugh once again before excusing himself to find his other friends.

This time, multiple people started to arrive, some faces he could see clearly, others he wouldn't have to guess who it was, and some were pretty familiar faces, Stan stuck by his side before Wendy arrived with Bebe and he was forced to go with her, leaving Kyle alone greeting guests.

He scanned everyone, seeming surprised seeing Craig and Tweek attending the party. He was about to greet them, seeing as Tweek almost shrunk in Craig's side before Craig pulled and sealed his lips shut with a finger.

"Don't even think about it." He warned, even with the similarity in height, they are most never the same in the personality department.

But either way, he's gonna make things work for them and him. They didn't just come there to be like normal people getting wasted, Tweek had a motive but Craig did not.

After a few more meet and greets, it quickly turned to politeness that Kyle had to greet them, he's got no idea who the majority are and is planning on taking a break.

"Kyle, congratulations!" He heard familiar voices, and the disco lights were not allowing him to see clearly. He smiled and bowed, pointing to the direction heading to his backyard. Disco lights or not, it was lame to throw a party on a Tuesday night, not knowing if it ever is a party or a night club anymore. What's more lame, it was his parents that threw it.

Adrenaline flooded his system, it pumps and beats like it's trying to escape. His body wants to either run fast for the safety of the place or to the crate of weaponry, but instead he remained where he stood. Let's face it, there are really only two things Kyle can do: Meet and greet like the goody two shoes he is or drink and party. Like where even did his parents buy the alcohol?

He was becoming light headed, he needed a drink.

He abandoned his post and he was heaving. He doesn't worry, he doesn't get sick easily, making his way to the table and deciding to grab as many meringue he could and a bottle of water because he's diabetic.

Sitting down on the living room sofa, he could see a lot of redheads in one area. Trust him, he had never seen one before. He shrugged it off and sat down and began to dig in and eat as much, he knows he's only being served snacks until the next morning.

"Are you okay?" He looked to his left, seeing the guy with a soft smile.

He stared at Butters, light blond hair and piercing light blue hues, Kyle somehow thought he was forgetting something important but he decided not to dwell on it.

"Want a drink?" Butters asked and Kyle scrunched his nose as the other held up a bottle of alcohol.

"Since when do you drink?"

Butters groaned at this. "When will everyone stop asking me that?" He held Kyle's wrist and passed a glass to his empty hand.

"Have fun, I guess." Butters sat beside him, his head hung, relaxing his shoulders on the sofa. Honestly, he had no intention in explaining more so he closed his eyes and felt the tension leave the redhead's body.

"LET'S GIVE IT UP TO KYLE BROFLOVSK!" Hi flinched, he must have forgotten there was supposed to be an mc in the party.

"Oh Gee, Kyle. I think they're looking for ya." Butters stated the obvious.

Kyle internally groaned, but continued to shove as many meringue in his mouth and then stood up to make his way in his backyard where the huge stage was built after giving a quick nod to Butters.

"There he is! Let's give it up to Kyle Broflovski!" The mc pointed to Kyle as he exited the door, a huge applause was aimed directly at him and he smiled politely, the glass of alcohol still in his right hand and water bottle in his other.

Familiar faces were in the crowd, with enough decency, it made him relieved that no one is sucking their faces with one another, heck--even the goth kids were wearing formal attires.

Stepping on the built-in stage, with the mic in front of him, reminded him of those old times where he was usually the one assigned to play tree or be a main singer in plays back in grade school.

"Hello everyone.." The microphone made a deafening sound, Kyle had to adjust it. This is, seeing Stan and Eric smiling from the crowd eased his nervousness, gulping he stood still, shoulders back, eyes piercing the crowd like it was gracious judging them. It was hypnotizing.

"Good Evening everyone," and just like that, even the music was turned off. "I would like to thank you all for this wonderful event, this would have not been possible without your help, and for the purpose of this party, I hope you have a wonderful time and possibly find your other half as well. I thank all the people especially my parents, mom, dad, my brother Ike, my relatives, friends and..."

His eyes scanned the whole place, looking for a certain someone. The moment he could not identify the said target, his heart started to race and panic arose.

Where is he? He should be here right?

For a brief second, he locked eyes with Eric in the crowd, the latter raising an eyebrow and he held his breath and spewed the words.

"My soulmate."

The crowd cheered, clapping and whistling. This time, Eric smirked at this. He raised his hands, his other gripped a glass of wine, imitating the Jewish girl beside him.

"HEY, KYLE! WHERE IS YOUR SOULMATE? I DON'T SEE HER!"

This immediately caught everyone's attention, finally noticing the missing person who's supposed to be celebrating the party together with Kyle.

"I.. uh.." He couldn't give an answer.

It took a few seconds before the crowd began to whisper. Sheila and Gerald looked at each other, clearly forgetting to ask Kyle about that. Their worried look went directly to Kyle as the kid was quiet, not nervous because of the effect of the alcohol.

"WHY DON'T YOU INVITE HER?" Eric shouted. It was a great idea, the crowd loved it. Thought it was the most rational thing to do, besides, this party is supposed to be for the two.

"Call her! Call her! Call her! Call her!"

They all chanted, the grin widening at Eric's face and Stan on the other side of the crowd with Wendy was waiting patiently for Kyle's actions, he was silently curious but decided to say something about it.

Kyle couldn't do anything, the majority of the person was curious, wanted to ring his soulmate up. This time, the nerves hit him and he began to have more consciousness about the situation.

Kyle warily looked at the crowd, stopping, putting his bottle of water in the ground before rising, reaching for his pockets and the crowd was still chanting, the sound of claps was deafening and he tightly gripped his phone taking it, opened his contacts and saw the name.

With a little hesitation, the moment he pressed the call button it showed that on the other side of the line, the phone was ringing.

The crowd went silent, waiting for a response. The mic was picking up the ringing, Eric's face was ecstatic. He really did think that Kyle got it done and wanted to prove him wrong. It went ringing for about 30 seconds and as it was about to go off, the phone picked up the line.

The crowd was having so much fun as they listened closely.

There wasn't any 'Hi' or 'Hello' but just white noises. It shows that someone was listening.

Kyle gulped, his eyes on the name of the ID, no one was able to see it but him, at least everyone could pick up the noises.

"H-Hey..." His heart was beating out of his chest, eyes focusing on the phone but somehow it would make its way back to the faces in the crowd.

"You there..?"

Silence.

"Hey.. I just want you to know that I'd love to see you here at the party..."

Another silence. The crowd gave weird faces.

"C-Could you atleast give me a reply or..?"

He heard a shifting from the background and the crowd probably heard it as well as they released the breath they were holding.

"You can also choose not to come but I'd really love to see you here.." Still no reply.

"Hey, um. I'll call you sunshine for now so.. Could you please consider...?" He looked nervous, looking at the shitty grin from Cartman.

"You... are my sunshine.. My only sunshine.. You make me happy... when skies are grey..."

The crowd went wild as soon as Kyle sang, the applause was loud enough for the other side of the call to hang up.

That was the end of it before Kyle looked fearfully in the crowd, like they were something slowly tormenting him and he was afraid to tell them off. There were a few laughs, coos and cheers from the crowd, a few mixed in the words of 'How cute!' or 'She's embarrassed!' and a few other things.

Kyle slid his phone back and finally raised his glass of alcohol to calm the crowd and the others joined, lifting their wine glass, making a toast before lifting the glasses to their mouths.

"A toast to us." He said, before taking a shot.

The crowd cheered, the music blasting in full volume and Kyle could not feel any more nervousness as Stan pulled him dancing, adults were inside minding their business and teenagers were getting wasted.

Kenny's eyes shot up from the sheets that were covering his whole being. The buzzing in his keypad phone in the wooden table was enough to cause him a headache. He reached for the phone and the moment he saw the caller ID, he groaned.

It was enough to cause him a headache.

He took his sweet time sitting on his mattress and stretching his back like the phone can wait any day. He counted up till 10 seconds before reaching out to the phone and pressing the accept button.

"H-Hey...."

He didn't reply, he thought there was no point in replying. He felt his chin starting to itch from the parka he forgot to remove the moment he came home from school.

"You there...?"

Kenny rolled his eyes, of course it was obvious that he was there. He wouldn't fucking answer the fucking phone if he wasn't.

"Hey.. I just want you to know that I'd love to see you here at the party..."

Ah. The party his Jewish family was throwing, he remembered Butters saying something about some sort of celebration. After he saw Ike and Kyle in the classroom a few days ago, he could second guess what's about to happen and he could still get it right.

"C-Could you atleast give me a reply or..?"

He rolled his eyes, scratching his chin. He looked at the nearest table, his digital alarm clock showing 8:41 pm. It was late and remembered that it was already Karen's bedtime.

He sighed, decided to go to the party, he read a few texts hours ago from Eric that he should go and not miss out the party. Cartman was an asshole, though he thought that deep inside, he really cares so much about his friends to the point that it would be embarrassing to admit. He unzipped his parka, he thought it made a noise but still didn't comment on it.

"You can also choose not to come but I'd really love to see you here.." it was starting again, the feeling of getting sick.

"Hey, um. I'll call you sunshine for now so.. Could you please consider...?" That was the last thing we wished he would ever hear.

"You... are my sunshine.. My only sunshine.. You make me happy... when skies are grey..."

He flinched the moment he heard a loud appease and he couldn't help but turn the call off. Feeling exposed to the world and feeling a laughing stock, he glared at the phone that was once in his hands, thrown and bounced in his mattress.

Stressed but having the feeling of getting a relief, he stood up, fully removing his parka and decided to rummage in his closet, finding a decent tuxedo in prom last year that Stan bought him when he went with this girl named Patty? Panny? It was something closer to that.

He wore the suit, seeing himself in the mirror even though there was little light to none. He didn't even bother to fix his disheveled hair. He was frustrated.

He still manages to look good though, even the limiting factor was present, he decided to go to the party, going down the stairs after ringing Butters a few times but he could second guess that the blond was already drinking in the party.

Soft footsteps were keeping the stairs alive, seeing no one awake he heard the coins in his pockets, maybe he could buy some food in a nearby convenience store or something. Walking outside, he stopped as he met eyes with Kevin smoking and his back against the wall of the broken bricks he called gate, Kevin hummed as he scanned Kenny's attire before throwing the cigarette under his foot, already knowing where his brother was going.

Of course, no one in South Park does not know who the Broflovskis are.

"Need a ride?" He offered, Kenny was surprised. He thought Kevin would tell on him but he knew better that Kevin wouldn't even snitch a criminal robbing a bank.

His stomach rumbled, surprising him and Kevin just laughed, walking away to get his Black Cherokee.

The moment the car was in front of Kenny, he took the passenger's seat, locking himself with the seatbelt and Kevin continued to drive, stopping in a nearby convenience store, Kenny didn't even ask but decided to follow Kevin out the car.

He grabbed a few granola bars and a carton of milk when his eyes caught a small plush of an opossum and he almost dropped the carton just to reach it. He couldn't explain it but it felt like he was a little kid but even as a little kid, he couldn't get what he wanted.

A hand grabbed the plush and saw Kevin in the counter dropping it with a can of beer and he soon followed and dropped his bar and milk.

The cashier included his purchase and with a toy of 20 bucks, they got back to the car and drove to the Broflovskis.

He walked inside the house, the first thing he noticed was a bunch of people in formal clothing but with the disco lights and teenagers in a smoking corner, the adults were in the same room, laughing without telling them off.

It was weird, he thought. For a moment he saw Damien cornering a poor woman but he rolled his eyes and saw Sheila with the other grown-ups and he met her eyes. She raised her hands to excuse herself from the conversation and made her way to Kenny.

"Kenny dear, you look good! Help yourself! There are lots of foods outside." She examined Kenny's form with a smile on her face.

"Also, Kyle's in his bedroom with the others." She patted his shoulder with a soft squeeze before making her way back to the sofa with the other adults.

He looked at a nearby table, seeing that it was full of gifts, he debated whether or not he should give up his opossum.

Making his way to the stairs, seeing the same familiar 'DO NOT ENTER!' sign like it was put up by some hormonal teenager. He didn't even bother to knock and proceeded to twist the handle door before calculating whatever was about to happen.

Right.

The inner debate in his mind was warning that it would be better if he knocked or he might disturb a really important conversation but who was he kidding? Something important at a party? Chances are near 10%.

Pushing the door open, all the teenagers in the room were sitting in an Indian position and their heads turned to see him. It seemed like he was distracted because they are obviously playing the most deja-vu game at parties. Spin the bottle.

He timed it to absolute perfection.

Stan was the first to react, waving his hands frantically. "Kenny! You're just in time! Over here!"

He made space for Kenny, between him and Jimmy Valmer and began patting on the space.

Before anything else, he made a brief eye contact with Kyle, he could see the way his Adam's apple bobbed as he scanned his figure, Kenny could tell he was nervous. But why would he? It's not like Kenny's someone to be afraid of. If Kyle's ashamed of him, he doesn't need to worry. He'll stay put.

He put on a huge grin and began to make his way to Kyle, and crouched behind his back.

"Kyle dude! You look good! Congratulations!" He patted Kyle's back multiple times, not too hard but it wasn't too soft either.

"Thanks.." Kyle said, avoiding eye contact and his eyes scanning the circle as he made eye-to-eye contact with Tweek and of instinct, looked back at Kenny. "You..."

Kenny's hair was a mess, light and blond. It wasn't styled in the first place and that is what he likes about it. His skin, it wasn't flawless-instead it is flawed since there was a little scar on the side of his right edge of his cheeks to his ear.

And his very lips, it wasn't chapped or anything, it wasn't but the thing was, his lips weren't really red, it was the very slight nude you could almost see that the cold weather affected his body heat and it was painfully clear that his parka did him no justice.

It looks sweet and Kyle wants a bite, but Kyle was much more rational than that.

"...look great, dude."

Kenny smiled sweetly like it was an artificial candy. Kyle was diabetic, he knows what this is all about.

The next thing Kyle knew was hands that seemed to be promptly touching his hand in a solicitous manner before whispering, "Congratulations."

His eyes shot open and there he saw the boy retreating back to the same position, patting his back and making his way next to Stan. Kyle's senses came to realization and by instinct he looked back to his hand seeing a toy plush of an opossum, tags were still attached.

'Why weren't you here earlier?'

'Dude, you should've seen how he literally got a fucking car from Tolkien!'

'The Jew had the guts to call his soulmate with the mic on and got rejected!'

Looking ahead, Kyle saw a glimpse of Kenny's smirking expression, and it soothed him. He wasn't angry, he wasn't mad, and that's what he liked to think. The smooth silk of the plush was slowly sinking in his skin, he'd like to think that it was a stress reliever.

"Let's play, Goddamn it!" Eric whined.

"Spin the bottle?"

"Hell damn right! I'll go first if none of you pussies are going!" Eric spun the bottle and it landed at Butters.

"Oh gee! That's--that's not so good!" He shivered like a nervous wreck but Kenny knew better than that.

Eric rolled his eyes, crossing his arms.

"Truth or dare, Butters?"

"I-I guess imma have to go with the truth."

The whole circle made eye contact with each other, seemingly interested now. With the lame choice, Eric frowned but guessed it was better not to complain, he was letting things go this way for now.

"Do you have a crush in this circle?"

Everyone was completely frozen while sitting in their damn spot. Eric was cackling, the obvious answer was no cause the cute innocent kid was too innocent to have a crush.

"Yes." They turned their head in his direction, Kenny became stoned in his place, eyebrows furrowing but decided to keep his mouth shut, took a deep breath and smiled.

"Oh? Is Leo crushing on someone? No offense Leo but you're too late on that phase." He wiggled his eyebrows, Jimmy snorted.

"Shut the fuck up, Kenny." Eric, held his hands before his eyes directed at Butters. "Who is it?"

"Oh well, Eric. You have already asked one question, you can't ask another."

Eric's face twisted, Craig shrugged at that. "That's the rules." Craig said, seemingly disinterested before spinning the wheel. "Damn it!" Eric shouted before the bottle stopped in front of him.

The circle laughed at him, even the few basketball players that had no real connection with him. "Truth or Dare?" Craig asked, his arm snaking its way to Tweek's waist.

"Of course I'm gonna pick dare! I'm not a pussy!"

Eyes darted to each other, of course it was fun this time, as if eyes could speak then they were silently discussing and had come to the conclusion.

"I dare you to jump out of the window." Craig said, his attention turned to interest as the color from Cartman's face drained.

"Craig what the fuck?" Kyle looked accusingly at him but Craig shrugged.

"Craig, I don't think that's a good one." Wendy at this point was also disturbed but Stan made no gesture to comfort her.

Tweek squeezed Craig's hand and Craig was about to take it back.

"What? You guys don't think I can do it?" Eric stood up from his seat and this alarmed everyone in the room. "I'll show you, Craig!" and Craig snorted.

"Cartman, sit down!" Kyle kept pulling Eric by his suit down and Stan had to help him.

"Dude, it was a joke!" Tolkien was face to face with Eric, pushing him back from making his way to the window.

Kenny and Tweek were blocking the window and Clyde had to frantically open his phone, pull up Instagram live to document the whole scene.

"Get the fuck away! Let me show you real fun!"

Craig stood up and Eric back which was enough to stop him from moving.

"Oh man, that was so lame." Clyde took his phone back, ending the livestream with about 410 views in a minute.

"Get the fuck away from me, I can do it! I'm not a pussy!"

"We're going to change the dare! Sit down!" Kyle pointed back at his seat and Eric was annoyed. "LAME!"

This calmed everyone and was enough to go back to their seats to continue the game.

"I dare you to prank call your mom." Craig boredly said, it was evident it was getting annoying for him.

"No way am I prank calling my mom!" Eric looked at him accusingly but was halfway on unlocking his phone.

Everyone rolled their eyes and waited as Eric pranked his mom, claiming that he was stuck in the middle of nowhere and just like that, the night ended.

Of course, Kyle had to greet his guests goodbye but decided to stay in his room halfway as he claimed he was too tired. It was Cartman, Stan and Kenny that was left in his room. Two were too wasted and one was being served mint tea.

"Kyle, this is a great party dude." Stan nodded.

"Thanks, my parents threw it." He smiled as he saw Cartman passed out in his bed and Stan was so drunk, his words sounded like slurs before he passed out.

This time, he paid attention to the blond kid. His hair was still messy, there were bags in his eyes. He looks tired, malnourished, and lacks sleep. He wished to do something about it but as far as he knows, Kenny does not like charity. This includes things that are given to him out of pure inconvenience, he thought those are the worst kinds.

"Congratulations, Kyle." Kenny muttered.

"Thanks." He leaned in his drawer, arms crossed as he stared at the boy who was wrapped in a blanket as his polo did not hug his body.

"Were you happy?" This stopped Kyle, raising an eyebrow at the kid who was drinking a mug of tea.

"Should I not be?" He tilted his head at Kenny's direction, their eyes meeting each other.

"I don't know, Ky. My opinion doesn't matter." Kenny whispered quietly but Kyle heard it.

"Ken.."

"Is it the party or the soulmate?" Kyle was startled at the question. How can he say this..? He has no idea, all he knows is that, his panic rose up when he didn't see Kenny at the party and whatever this party meant, he was so glad it happened.

"...the party."

Kenny gave a small tut before taking a small sip back in his tea. "You'll remember the night they threw a party before you commit to anything serious?"

Kyle gulped, he couldn't help but frown. "I'm not ashamed of them, Kenny." He refrained referring to Kenny just in case someone was listening.

"I'm not implying anything, though?"

"But that's what you're trying to get at." Kyle looked at him, face broken. "I just.. I'm just happy that they threw a party about my soulmate and me.. And I hope I get a similar validation once I reveal who they are." He looked at Kenny nervously.

"So you are ashamed." Kenny let a gasp escape his mouth, putting the mug down on a nearby table.

"Of course not! I just don't know how it'll play out for them! Aren't they going to get ridiculed or something? Two different classes, meant to be? You know you don't like eyes watching you like a charity award!"

Bang! Hands on the table as Kenny rose from his seat,"Is that what you think of me, Kyle!? What? Are you too good enough for me? Is that why you're ashamed!? You're just twisting your words, dude. You act like I'm the fucking victim here but you're scared for yourself!"

"I'm not ashamed, Ken! I could shout it out to the whole world right now and face them!"

"Don't." Kenny stopped as his breath hitched for a moment, worried eyes looking at Kyle. Kyle bit his lips at this, calming himself.

"Is it because.. We grew up together..? Kenny?" Kenny thought Kyle was talking nonsense.

"What?" Kenny shook his head. "Soulmates can be platonic too, dude."

Kyle looked down, twiddling with his thumb like it's a habit. "So nothing is going to change?"

"Don't do this, Ky. Not this kind of talk."

"What's wrong with me, Kenny?" Kyle opened his arms, as if inviting him for a hug but it is just to display him in a full view.

"Nothing," Kenny arched his back, eyes on the ceiling as he closed his eyes. "You're beautiful, Kyle. Almost too perfect."

"Is that the problem?" He whimpered like a lost dog to its owner, he sat down beside Kenny and kneeled beside him. "I want to see you in a new light, Ken." He took his hands before softly examining his long fingers. "Can you let me?"

"We don't need to change, okay? I don't want to hate you." Kenny sighed, headache trapping in his temples as he sighed. "Get some sleep."

Monday

He wasn't aware when it started but headaches had been too frequent. It was still recess when Kyle, Cartman and Stan had to skip lunch due to practice, leaving him and Butters at the table.

He felt like poking the vegetables, but everyone knew Kenny wasn't a picky eater. He just stopped eating and dropped his fork to stare at the cafeteria crowd. Loud chatters and small talk while the sound of cutlery making music in his ears.

"Ken.."

He blinked, looking at Butters who looked so excited.

"Huh?"

Butters slumped at this but without further ado, happily explained once again. "Would you like to go to North Park with me..?"

Kenny felt his mouth run dry. "Wait, what?" He felt the need to process this, he's going somewhere outside of South Park? That sounds too good to be true.

"Why?"

"I was thinking.. Maybe it's time ya need to find your soulmate." He laughed, rubbing the back of his head.

"No."

"Why, Ken?" Butters looked down, laying his head on the table before looking up at him like a lost puppy.

"I.. I've got things to do."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Like what?"

Kenny looked at the light blue eyes that were piercing him. Lying will not get him far.

"Stuff, I'm not too bothered about it. I can find them later on, whenever I'll be able to."

Butters pouted."I don't want to be rude, Ken.."

"Then don't say it."

"But Ken.. Don't ya want spice?"

Kenny rolled his eyes. Poking a carrot in his plate, God how much he hates carrots but beggars can't be choosers. "Spice? Eh.. I think we could really use some pepper and salt."

"I'm serious here.. Just the two of us, this time. A trip? Doesn't that sound wonderful?" Butters decided to use his stupid cheating method. The darn puppy eyes.

Kenny rolled his eyes, looking away. He began to think, his other finger tapping the table. "But promise me one thing..." Kenny took a bite from his fork.

"Sure, anything."

"I want to meet her." His eyes trailed at the golden words engraved in Butter's arm.

It was quiet. Butters was quiet. He looked at Kenny, biting his lips.

"No? So it's a no then."

"Sure. Anything."

Kenny smiled. "That's for being fair."

-----

"You know I wasn't doing it on purpose." He reasoned, his eyes on the floor. Which made Kyle realize that it was because they weren't talking discreetly. He just got carried away and here he is, just too shocked someone was actually supposed to be sober and pretended to be drunk.

"No, Stan." He sighed. "I'm sorry." He massaged his temples and he felt sweat beading in his forehead and he thought he lacked water.

"Can you not tell anyone about this, please? You can forget that it ever happened." I told him, he just nodded and sat back down on their usual seating position with his back slumped back and his head touching the cold desk.

"I.. I don't really think it's that bad, dude. I'm not the kind of person to judge and I really don't mind." Stan said, opening a can of diet coke as he fanned a towel.

Kyle didn't reply, just looked at his best friend with furrowed eyebrows and decided to steal his drink, gulping it.

"It's not him dude. I'm worried about how they'll treat him." Stan scoffed at the answer. "What? You think Kenny cares about bullshit?"

"I know he doesn't, that's what led us in this argument." He begins to pass the can bottle to Stan before leaning back again.

"Then what's stopping you from letting everyone know?"

"I feel like this is only a one-party effort." He stood up, looking at the gym full of his co-members. "I feel like he doesn't want this, at all."

Putting a hand on his best friend's shoulder, Stan gripped it tightly, smiling softly at him but there were also traces of doubt because he knew Kenny damn well. "That doesn't sound like Kenny."

"He doesn't see me as a soulmate, Stan. It hurts."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, I'm sure that's not what he thinks. Besides, I've heard of platonic soulmates. They're uncommon but not impossible." He looked at Kyle's frowning face, he knew how much his best friend wants this.

It started when they were only 12 when Kyle's understanding about soulmate was awakened, it led deeper. He would casually bring up stories about imagined scenarios where he would have his first encounter with his soulmate. It was cute, really but those are the times where he would look at Stan and Wendy in jealousy that it hurts.

"Besides, don't you like Kenny as a brother, Ky?"

Kyle bit his lip, he should really avoid topics like this, especially in a slip of a tongue, he could reveal the kid as an 'emergency friend'. But this time, it could be different. He remembered and saw all the things and mistakes Kenny did and it made him stand out, sincere on all the things he loved and those blue eyes would drown in sparkles whenever he talked about the most useless things like buried treasures.

Kyle thought it was warm. He was a moth drawn to a flame. He couldn't see it as something to make his heart skip a beat but enough to send goosebumps all over his body.

"I do. But I'm willing to dig deeper for the both of us."

"Aren't you being selfish, Ky? Did you ask Kenny what he wants?"

He sighed. "He would just say no. I wouldn't force him. But I want to do things for him, okay?"

"Without getting nothing in return?" Stan took a sip from his can. "Kyle, you're putting too much effort, why don't you let him be?"

"I don't mind, I promise him that it'll work out between the both of us. It wouldn't be a double effort." He stretched before hearing his co-members call his name.

He gestured at Stan before making his way back to the court. It was then when Stan put his can bottle down and sighed. It is pretty rough seeing his best friend struggling too much without getting anything in return because of a damn compromise.

There he then heard the gym corridor door open, revealing Wendy with a huge smile carrying leather satchel.

----

Kenny thought everything will be okay from now on, now that he no longer has any anger or issues regarding other people who are pushing him to find his soulmate-- as he already found him. But the painstakingly sharp waves that were affecting his head wouldn't go away. It could also be another reason for one of the many deaths he's gone through but this time, why wasn't it happening?

Kenny breathed deeply again, looking at his reflection in the mirror. It feels like deja vu, but he didn't like it.

It was after his small packed lunch when he felt nauseous, the voices in his head. He learned how to encode it, they were actual words, but every time he didn't listen, it kept getting even worse.

Cartman noticed his indifference and how Kenny acted, he personally never saw Kenny dealing with it cause he never really asked him for help for the past month, though he got all the mediations ready just in case. His grunting self and his held back voice as if he had a cold made him worry.

'Have you ever wondered what will happen with suicide?'

'It has always been accidental, why don't you try killing yourself instead?'

'I'm sure you'll come back'

"No-no. I can't. I'm sorry I can't! I don't want to die.. " He looked at his reflection, behind him were the shadows.

"Please stop." He breathed, his voice shaking and his whole body trembling.

He opened the drawer, he shouldn't have asked Cartman for help. Things could get worse and he wouldn't be able to control himself.

His head was spinning and he felt like vomiting, he hated what he was feeling. His hand grabbed the nearest pill on his bag, it was hidden so that nobody would see it. Even if someone really did, they wouldn't even suspect the pill to be his.

'Kenny, please stop pushing me away, I'm you, aren't I?'

'Doesn't the soulmark displease you? Why don't you remove it..? Damage it.'

Kenny was opening the lid, putting as many pills that could fit in his hand. His eyes locked with it, his hands were trembling, it felt like his saliva was stuck in his mouth and he couldn't swallow it.

He remembered the instructions clearly. 2 pills minimum and 3 maximum, though they wouldn't get rid of the voices permanently, it would stop him from hearing them for about a week or so.

He opened his palms, breathing heavily and the walls felt like they were caving in him and his voice was echoing. He wanted to get rid of them permanently, he wanted to be normal. He doesn't want to be stuck with the voices all his life. He doesn't want to be a life force, someone who would commit violence just to keep them alive.

Eleven. Eleven pills are waiting to be consumed. His breath hitched, looking at them scared him. Is this enough to get rid of them?

'Kenny, don't do it.'

'Stop what you are planning.'

Those tones felt warm, but he couldn't compare those voices to normal people. The longer he resists them and their pleas for blood, the deeper-more monstrous their voices go. He doesn't want it, he doesn't want this. Why out of all deaths, he would end up with voices? Can't he die normally?

A last gulp, his eyes directly at the pills. If he's going to consume all of this, there is no way the voices would stay.

'Kenny, stop!'

'This won't get rid of us!'

Without any second thoughts, he felt the pills right inside his mouth. The voices were noisy-in chaos and he remained stoic, his eyes scanned the mirror and time felt a little slower. It was also in slow motion when he tasted the bitterness and the voices slowly faded, but his eyes felt heavy.

Fuck, he's going to die isn't he? He's going to die. He's going to die! In the speed of light, he dashed at the toilet bowl and vomited everything he had consumed. His eyes started to get blurry from the tears that he was holding. The voices stopped and he couldn't hear them again, but maybe that was only temporary. It's alright, he'll find a way to get rid of it.

It's okay.

He's going to be just fine.

"Kinny! Are you okay?!" His eyebrows furrowed once he heard Cartman's voice. Why now out of all times? "What do you want?"

"You've been hogging the bathroom for way too long. Are you okay, dude?"

"I'm fine! Leave me alone. I can handle this!"

It was silence as Cartman looked disheveled at the sudden exit Kenny did in the middle of lunch on a Friday! He ran after him, he had no idea why but maybe the urge of not hearing too much from him as a ghost did him wrong in the guts.

Cartman's expression on the other side on the door twisted or more of like a cringey-like expression. "No you aren't! You need medicine right now, right?" He rummaged through his pocket and had a small glass bottle.

He knocked on the door once again, annoying Kenny. "Eric! Just go away!"

"No I will not! Not until you let me in there, you asshole!"

Kenny bit his lips, he knew that Cartman is sticking to his word and he knew how persistent he can be. He stood up, back in his bag was a small pocket knife-dagger that he remembered seeing in Kevin's car and decided to keep it.

He scanned his whole arms, just above the wrist, but cringed at the imagination and decided to move downwards. That's right, maybe his palms will do. Readying and repositioning the pocket knife before successfully cutting himself, he flinched but didn't try to make a sound even though it was painful.

It's leaking, the blood is leaking. The voice stopped. Why did it stop? He quickly ran in the door and opened it, took his palms out in Cartman's view without ever opening the bathroom door fully and not showing how he looks.

Stunned, Eric looked for a moment before beginning to put down the materials he had, looking for cotton alcohol and bandages-he couldn't stop looking at the intense bleeding. He wonders why Kenny wasn't making a fuss on how much it hurts or maybe the cut didn't really hurt. But that's bullshit, he knows Kenny more than that.

Dabbing the cotton to block the blood from leaking, he then decided to add alcohol. Cartman could feel Kenny's hands trembling but he decided not to comment on that. He only focused on dabbing and rubbing alcohol.

"You should've just called me sooner. I could've prepared the materials earlier.

"You didn't have to do that," He flinched, feeling the tingling, painful sensation in his palms. He tried controlling his panicked breathing but it must be pretty obvious from the racing of his heart judging from his pulse. "I can handle this, it's nothing major."

"Kenny, I told you that I'd help." He looked at his trembling hand. Cartman frowned as he smelled something awful coming from inside. "I'm fine, Eric. I'll just call you when things get worse." Kenny sounded like he was eating his words. The older man didn't say anything, like he was just sulking that Kenny didn't call him beforehand, but what annoyed him the most was the fact that it's pretty reasonable. It's not like they weren't close but he knew Stan should've been taking his place. He sighed and focused on bandaging Kenny's hand.

"You're saying that but don't you know how your hands are trembling right now?"

"That.. That must be due to the cold."

"It's May."

"And I'm in a public restroom? tap water is cold."

Eric rolled his eyes.

"And the noise? I heard the noise from here." Kenny bit his lip, his eyebrows furrowed and it seems like he was giving up. "Are you going to explain why you're shouting?"

"This isn't like you." Kenny muttered, before looking up and meeting Cartman's gaze before faltering.

"Am I that loud?" He asks in concern of the other students hearing him. Cartman waited for an answer first, he's not going to be fooled by Kenny's questions in an attempt to change the topic. Once he realized that he was never going to get an answer, Kenny just decided to stay still while Cartman was tying the bandage.

"Why is it taking so long?" Finishing the tie, Kenny carefully withdrew his hands back and decided to close the door but Cartman blocked it with his foot.

"I.. have no idea. It just wouldn't come to me." Kenny said, seemingly annoyed with the tone he used. "Can you take your feet off?"

Cartman thought about it, it seemed reasonable to take his foot but he was stopped momentarily when he saw little white small sized objects on the floor. What are those? They seem to look something familiar, at this point he showed no plans on removing his feet.

"Eric."

"--There must be something that you're not telling me."

The sound of the door echoed and Cartman was standing now again in front of the bathroom door. " Kinny, I'm scared for you, you poor fuck. Why aren't you dying this time?"

No reply. He sighed, "Call me when something happens, you know I'm the only one who can hear you."

"Sure." A short tired reply that seems inaudible was said. Cartman, still even full of concerns and speculation left without any more questions so Kenny wouldn't get annoyed.

Hearing the distant footsteps, he can finally relax. He slumped his shoulders and began to pick the pills one by one, as soon as he did that, he flushed it. He looked at the mirror one more time, his dark circles becoming worse, his skin looking paler and his blond hair didn't help him look healthier. He looked bad, like a disease.

He leaned in the mirror, touching his opposite reflection for a few minutes before exiting the bathroom.

"Y-You can't do that!" Jimmy yelled at Stan, he was fitting all of the chicken wings in his mouth, his round eyes directly looking at Jimmy and motioning a 'why' gesture. "Don't worry, I can chew this much."

"Stan, no." Wendy chorused.

"What's the point of cooking so much if we don't eat them?"

Wendy rolled her eyes and began to rub her temples.

"I don't remember doing something wrong? Ask Kyle, he's my witness." Stan raised an eyebrow and Jimmy faked a smile.

Tolkien looked at the two kids football members who were laughing at the table, Jimmy was making faces and Stan was just close to choking himself, like the little daredevil that he claimed to be. Diverting his attention, he was face to face with Kyle who was also poking his food, his elbows on the table and was supporting his cheeks.

He was pretty gloomy, he set his fork down and took a sip of water. That was when Cartman came in after rushing out in the middle of a fun conversation. He was in deep thought, and his hair didn't look neat.

Kyle fixed his posture as Cartman took a seat and the two guys noticed him. "Cartman, I can fit a dozen chicken legs in my mouth!" Stan looked like a good kid as he jumped up and down.

"That's great! You're amazing, Stan! I can do better." He smiled, and Jimmy looked at Stan with the biggest grin on his face. Cartman on the other hand began to eat his dinner, but it was obvious that he wasn't in the mood.

"What happened?"

He was startled, accidentally dropping his fork as it made a fair sound but no one really minded. He panicked, he was uncomfortable. Not the same typical Cartman.

"Yes! What? What happened? Kyle Broflovski, talking to me? How unfortunate!" His eyes wide opened and he had this big cheeky grin, taking his fork again he began stabbing a potato and started eating.

"Nothing?" Kyle raised an eyebrow and Cartman nodded. Kyle was unimpressed by the answer, and now he feels bad and it feels as if he was interrogating a poor child.

"Kinny's fine, you don't need to worry. Why would you care anyways, he'll just regenerate." He rolled his eyes, looking in the far distance where he just came in. "He said that he's okay."

Kyle's eyebrow raised at what he said. He never really understood what was going on with Kenny, but he's been sick lately and even though he tried to hide it and not look more suspicious, he's known him for years and that attitude was clear that he was hiding something. He never knew cause Kenny never told him, but it's like every now and then he'd race to the bathroom. It's hard not to be suspicious about it. Besides, he couldn't ask him too freely now.

He already noticed that every time Kenny did that, Tweek would always check on him. He doesn't want to admit it but he was growing jealous of Tweek and fucking Eric this time, but it can be helped. Eric is his said best friend, on occasions Butters and Tweek? He's got no idea but Kenny's probably on good terms with him.

"He said he'll head to the clinic, I think he's good." He laughed a little to ease the spirit but it made it more like it's a worrying matter. "That's.. good." He smiled, at least Kenny was okay.

"Did.. Did he say anything.. about me?" He slowly turned to look at Cartman and Cartman just shook his head. "He never really talks to you these days?"

"Yeah, but it's okay. Maybe he's just sick. Besides, I'm always with Stan so maybe one never really gets the chance." He reasoned, raising both his hands and shaking it, motioning it like it doesn't matter anyways.

"Yeah, I'm sure he'll be fine." Cartman agreed before taking a bite. Same monotone like the fucker he is, Kyle hid his distaste.

The redhead then proceeded to look at Tweek who was sitting at the same table. who was staring into blank space, poking his food as he took in every detail in some of the similarities he has with the friend from his group he always hangs out with. Same hair, same vibe.

He felt himself getting ashamed as he hung his head low and looked at the food.

"Crazy! This tastes way better than normal!" Stan's loud voice cut off his concentration and he looked up to meet his soulmate's annoyed expression.

Tweek on the other hand, heart's seemed to sink as he thought carefully how he was unable to fit in their conversation. He knew that the only person he's close to was Jimmy and Craig but they seem to get along well with the others, Tweek felt like a stranger.

He sighed deeply. He doesn't even know what Stan's favorite color is, or what kind of dreams Kyle has, or what Butter's hobbies are, What Eric's passion is or Kenny's past. He closed his eyes, hearing the sound of joyous laughter while contemplating whether it was forced or not. His feeling of bargaining was already bad and he could never really figure anything out. He'd be trespassing a line, he just hoped Craig would comfort him later on.

He stood up, his chair making a loud creak to which everyone turned to look at and he sheepishly smiled. "I'm going back." The two kids didn't get the atmosphere and continued to talk, Craig was quiet and his eyes were turned to another direction but it was clear that he was listening to what Tweek was about to say next.

"Honey," Craig pulled the cuffs of his shirt. "Stay for a while, okay?" He whispered, staring into blank space. Tweek smiled at this, forcing Craig to let go.

"Don't worry, I'm just nauseous. That's all." He began to walk away from the dining area. "Wait!"

He grunted as he turned back around, seeing Kyle approach him. He's never had a real conversation with the Broflovski kid, ever. "I have medicine. I'm sure this will help you." He began to pull out something from his pockets, it was a tablet but quickly tucked it away as he was still searching for it, "Sorry, that was the wrong one. I'm pretty sure it's right here."

His eyebrows furrowed, it wasn't right for Kyle to have too much medicine in his pocket. He understood if it was for Kenny but as far as his analysis goes, he had figured the two to be soulmates but they haven't been talking to each other and Kyle wouldn't know Kenny's been having these bad nausea recently and would even refuse to eat with them. He was uneasy about what he was seeing right now, he looked at his back and saw Kyle eyeing them and he knew he needed to keep his mouth shut.

"You know Kyle, It's fine. I'll just sleep it off-"

"--Right, sorry. I remember leaving my bag in the restroom, because it's next to the lockers. Do you mind waiting for me?" He smiled and Tweek couldn't say no. "I guess..?"

He tailed the taller boy towards the restroom, the more he approached, the more foul the smell became. What is it? Vomit? Tweek grew nervous, twitching. And decided to stop Kyle.

"I.. I can get it for you!" Kyle was surprised but nodded and decided to wait outside, and Tweek was feeling a range of mixed emotions, he doesn't know why.

He won't be able to do much about it, though. But maybe he's feeling lonely because he recognizes how remote the anxiety Kenny felt and how hard it can be; as he swung the door open, it was clear one of the cubicles was occupied and it was where the smell was coming. Anxiety thoughts are like driving around the block over and again, becoming faster and faster. It's a waste of time.

Why is he lying? Tweek wondered as he stared blankly into nothingness. To keep himself safe? What a farce. Is it possible that he doesn't trust Kyle? He couldn't really be that stupid, could he? He's the one who's supposed to be here. His eyes darted away from left to right and saw from the upper far corner of the stall a silhouette as one of the stall's doors shot open.

He knew who it was but he didn't move to greet them or ask them how he's doing, he's mad and hurt and he felt the gush to drag a silent anger for a bit. But he couldn't, he knew he was too weak for that. He felt the urge to go in Kenny's direction only to see him mouthing 'I'm sorry' before closing the door again to resume pouring out whatever is left in his poor nutrition. The disappointment left a bitter taste in Tweek's mouth and a knot in his stomach. The bathroom door creaked loud enough indicating that he returned with a bag in his hand.

"Here, Kyle. Here's your bag." He handed the bag, giving off a small smile as Kyle nodded at this. He opened the bag and maybe ruffled it like he was finding something before handing Tweek a white tablet. "This should help you."

"Thank you, I'll make sure to drink it."

Kyle didn't respond any longer and waved him goodbye while proceeding back again to the dining room. After Tweek knew damn well that nobody was eyeing him, he tucked the medicine in his pocket as he made his way to his next class, hoping each step that things would just get better but that was just a ridiculous request for a kid.

He was about to pass by the exit before the second floor, when he was stopped in his tracks on the main exit seeing Butter's with a cigarette. He heard his soft voice talking, like a siren's that his feet began to draw closer by the door.

"I don't understand, Butters. He tells me everything."

And Eric fucking Cartman, pulling Butter's cigarette and taking a puff.

"Maybe he's not comfortable, Eric."

"Did he tell you something?"

"I've got no clue."

Tweek gulped before dashing off in the next classroom.

-----

Flyers were in the school, bunch of it. It was now student council election week and all the first years were dying to run and as much as it was not as big as prom, hundreds of printed papers and colored papers were hanging in the hallway's ceiling.

Stupidly enough, Butters was still forced to run for vice-president because his mother was forcing him and he couldn't stand it.

It was afternoon in the AVR classroom, Jimmy, Tolkien, Butters and Bebe were gathered printing out flyers when the door opened, turning to see Wendy.

"Guys.."

"Hey Wendy." Bebe cheered, greeting her best friend with a tight hug.

Tolkien didn't look impressed, scanning files and cutting paper like a paper mache, his eyes followed Wendy.

"What position are you running for?" Wendy looked at him and smiled.

"I'll be your rival Mr. President." Tolkien scoffed and shook his head. "You should have a better vice, Leopold is mines."

"I've got Kyle."

The two looked at each other, still bitter before Bebe pulled the both of them away from each other's sight. There's nothing more chaotic than two bitter exes.

"W-When is the ca-camp--campaign anyway?" Jimmy sighed, rolling his eyes, before bringing printed materials over the table.

"Saturday." Bebe cheered, excited. Too excited.

"Uh.." Butters blinked, all eyes in him. "Why saturday..? We can do it on Monday, right?"

Wendy laughed. "You think Stotch can beat Broflovski?"

Tolkien rolled his eyes. "Leo, we've already talked about this. We've already rented the gym."

"Right."

"A-are y-you bus--busy t-tom-tommorow?"

"I kinda have plans.."

Tolkien sighed, "Can you move it?"

"I.. I think I can.."

"Good." He turned to face Wendy. "He's got a flexible schedule too."

—

"Dude. Hi." Kenny turned around, seeing Kyle who was wearing his signature green jacket. He sat down next to him without being invited.

"Hey." He nodded. Getting straight to the point already. "What do you want?" He asked with a smirk, trying not to show that he was bothered by the other's presence.

Kyle smiled at him and said, "You know me. I just wanted to hang out with my best friend." He winked at Kenny as he mentioned the word 'best', but when Kenny didn't reciprocate, he stopped, his smile turning into a frown, he looked down with a small pout of disappointment.

"Sorry. I guess it's kind of dumb to hang out after a fight."

"It's okay," Kenny said quietly, looking away from Kyle's gaze. He had gotten used to this kind of behavior over the years. It wasn't like Kyle really meant any of what he said anyway - But it still hurt. Because Kyle was better, Kyle wanted better. He wasn't even his level. And sometimes, Kenny just couldn't take it anymore. He knew that if he kept on letting this go on for longer than a day or two, eventually, he'd get tired of everything and just stop talking to him at all. He didn't know why they continued to talk.

But here it is, they are nothing but soulmates which turned out quickly uncomfortable in their relationship solely built in connections. Kenny thought that they were never close, he doesn't even know what Kyle's favorite color is, so why continue to talk to someone whom he doesn't even remember? It's just so pointless. If only one of them could have forgotten, then they wouldn't be sitting there like this together. Maybe if they weren't friends, it would feel much different.

"I like the song that London Break released, they're your favorite artist, right?" He smiled and reached out to touch Kenny's hair which was falling loose and covering his eyes, which made Kenny tense up instantly and look away in fear.

He felt his throat tighten in embarrassment. He hated how Kyle always knew how to push his buttons. How the other always managed to find a way to make him feel like he was some kind of a weak person. How he thought they seemed to know exactly what he wants or needs.

And it wasn't fair because it wasn't that easy.

"Stop," He croaked. "I don't wanna hear it." He looked at the guy.

"Don't worry, Ken. I also am starting to like the artist." Kyle assured him.

Kenny glared at him again. Why would he start liking his favorite singer? Of course he did. That was probably his way of saying, 'I'm not gonna leave you.' or 'look at me, I'm trying to impress you.' It's not like Kyle actually likes him though.

"You're such an asshole." He muttered under his breath.

Kyle frowned. "What was that?"

"Nothing." Kenny shook his head. "Just ignore me."

"No, I want to know what you said." Kyle insisted.

Kenny clenched his jaw. He didn't want to tell him what was on his mind. "Come on, I just want to understand you."

There was a long silence. Kenny took his time deciding whether or not he should let the matter go since Kyle wasn't going to give up so easily. Finally, he gave in.

Fine," He grumbled.

"The song... I've heard it. It annoys the crap out of me."

Kyle chuckled. "What do you mean?'

"It's stupid," He sighed. "They're singing about people who love someone else and that they shouldn't try and force that love onto somebody else. The whole song makes me think of those couples whose lives end up destroyed because of that one bad decision. And then there's this annoying line about loving something that you should never love. Like, why the hell is it always about people that shouldn't love something?" Kenny ranted.

Kyle listened quietly, making occasional nods or 'hmms.' As the other talked. He looked thoughtful. Finally, he broke into a grin when Kenny finished explaining what he saw in the lyrics and sang. "Oh man! Yeah, yeah!"

"Yeah! You get my point?"

Kyle didn't. But he nodded, pretending to agree anyway. They both stared at each other, and Kyle started to hum the song, and Kenny avoided his gaze, heaving a sigh.

"Hey, remember that one time Stan asked about your philosophy in life?"

"Huh? Which? I couldn't remember.." He breathed.

"Back in 3rd grade," He grinned, "Do you want to explain its meaning?"

"No, I don't remember."

"Come on dude, you said that your philosophy in life is to love, and I quote, 'Whatever it takes.'"

"That's what I wanted to say?" Kenny raised a brow.

"Yep," Kyle answered. He was obviously proud of himself for remembering. "Alright, so.. What does it mean?" He leaned forward expectantly.

Kenny raised an eyebrow, paused thinking for a moment. It wasn't anything that's deep, maybe just a random answer from when he was younger. Nothing too special. Just what he thinks about. He shrugged.

"You know..." He started and then trailed off, lost in his thoughts again, he wasn't sure where to go with this sentence. Kyle watched, amused.

"It's really just 3rd grade nonsense." He ended it finally. "Like, if I really want to know that meaning, I can think back to it, but the idea and feelings don't make sense anymore." Kenny shrugged.

Kyle shook his head, "No, I want the real meaning of those words."

"They're not for you, Kyle. I wouldn't expect, even for a million year that I was bound to you." He laughed dryly.

"So, why don't you try and explain it again? Try and see if it makes any sense now. Don't be afraid to say whatever's on your mind." He said with confidence.

Kenny snorted. Was Kyle kidding? He thought.

It was like instead of trying to know him and getting him to open up, he was ripping apart everything he had hidden, it felt like Kyle was bringing the worst out of him.

Now he couldn't listen to his favorite song anymore without Kyle knowing his favorite genre and artist. He had to make sure he would have songs reserved only for himself and would hide them when Kyle comes around and asks for a song recommendation.

Things he said and considered nonsense and wouldn't remember after releasing the words, Kyle would have it memorized, bring it up and he would be confused. Like a Hawk who is carefully watching him, he was so suffocated. If he didn't think that he's only doing this in order to get him to notice his efforts, he would think he's obsessed. It was so sick, he felt sick.

He wanted to cry, but he couldn't. He's frustrated, he wants to be generous yet he's personally so selfish. Was it wrong for him to have a little bit of privacy?

"Hey, uh.." He stood up, dusted the imaginary dust in his parka, "I... I need to go.."

He mumbled and left before Kyle even had a chance to reply.

He ran into a group of students walking past him, one of the girls holding her book high, the rest laughing loudly at the joke she told. Kenny knew them, decided to just slip in their clique, looking back at Kyle once more before turning away.

—

"Hey, Kenny. Do you know..."

Kenny just looked at him even though he knew that he wouldn't remember what he would be saying and the guy was looking at him even though he knew that he wouldn't understand.

"I actually have this student campaigning tomorrow at the gym so I don't think we can carry out our plans." Butters softly chuckles as he sees Kenny lazily blinking his eyes.

"Then why are you helping me pack up my bags?"

"I thought that you would prefer to go on a road trip rather than supporting me tomorrow, If that makes sense..?"

"Yeah... You're right. I'd rather stay at home." Like the predictable guys, he laid down like a snow angel in his bed.

Butters laughed. "I'm pretty sure this is what I'd prefer too," He copied his actions. "A life of leisure and no work."

"Easy there bud, I don't think those two words describe me." He laughed and rolled over.

"Then wanna move the plans for next week?" Like giving it much thought, Kenny zoned out before nodding.

"That's more like it."

The two talked and eventually went home before dinner and the next thing we all knew it was 7:30 am in a Saturday and Kenny was contemplating whether to go to the gym or not but the snowy path we was walking upon was making loud crunch and we wasn't too sure anymore if he was trekking or he was walking to a destination we can barely remember.

A car stopped in front of him.

BEEP BEEP

The window rolled down and his eyes met with those wonderful amber eyes and he wouldn't expect the usual grumpy expression and inborn unibrow to be parted and soft looking. Also it was hinting it was tired.

"Need a ride?" The familiar voice almost shook his leg and the headache and nausea decided to crumble beneath his feet like a glass shattering.

"Where are you going?" He asks.

"Nowhere in particular. I can go anywhere."

"How about the school gym? The other council candidates are holding their campaigns." The same parka muffled his voice and the figure frowned.

"Idiot. You really don't know much about me do you?"

"How could I? We barely talk." Kenny rolled his eyes.

The figure sighed, opened the passenger door and Kenny let himself in with the bag he was carrying as usual.

"Where to mister?"

"Do you have something in your mind, Tucker? Are you troubled? You don't usually let strangers in your car." Kenny sighed.

"Do you have something in your mind, McCormick? Are you troubled? People don't usually walk outside at 7:00 am at this temperature." The sarcasm dripping in his voice assured Kenny that the guy was in his right mind.

The car took off, driving somewhere and nowhere till the exit sign of South Park was seen and Kenny sighed.

"What's up with you?"

"Got into a huge fight." Of course, Kenny assumed it was Tweek.

"And you're not apologizing?"

"I need time to cool off."

"I'm sure you do." Kenny rolled his eyes. These guys and their issues, that includes him of course.

"Sounds like you really needed this trip huh?"

Kenny didn't say anything, just showed him the huge bag just in case Craig didn't notice.

"I'll take you anywhere, you handle the gas. Deal?" Craig grunted, looking at the gas tank comp. Kenny rolled his eyes, eyeing the nearing gas station.

"But you literally offered me a ride?"

"Easy McCormick, you don't get to freeload out of my truck."

Kenny rolled his eyes. "Thanks a bunch."

They stopped by the gas station and naturally Kenny rolled out his seat and proceeded to the store next to the station and stopped right on his tracks seeing the person behind the counter. He gulped, eyes warily darting to the unsuspecting person as he waltz back to the door when Craig fucking walked in looming over him.

"You're not buying?" His nasally activated voice trailed, bored and his droopy eyes scanned the store before grabbing a few jolly ranchers and sodas before tossing it to the counter.

The cashier turned around, his dirty blond hair was dry, looking unwashed and Kenny swore he almost cringed as his eyes met his when Craig took off his chullo, putting it in Kenny's and pulling his head down so that his father could barely recognize him.

"That'll be $6.70." His accent was heavy. Not giving the two a glance, his eyes stuck to the tv in front of him.

Craig quickly handed the change, dragging Kenny in front before making their way to the car.

Craig didn't say anything, popped open the soda and took off.

Kenny was still sitting, quiet. The chullo covered his face, and Craig couldn't help but look in the back mirror, seeing the boy slumped.

"Do you want me to ask?"

"No."

Good. Craig wasn't going to ask anyway, he just didn't like someone with such expression. He tossed another can of soda at Kenny's lap, startling the blond before hesitantly opening the cap with a pop.

"How much?"

"You don't have to pay for the gas, you idiot." Craig's flat tone was uncertain. Not so like him, maybe something you would hear when he worries about Tweek.

Kenny shook his head, looking at his keypad phone vibrating, a message popped.

Ky

'Support me!'

Stan

'I'll be in the front row'

Fatass

'don't tell me what to do you stupid jew!!'

Kenny pressed his lips together before putting it away. His head slumped, eyes on the window. Almost like counting houses, a hundred passed by then two.

It didn't take long for him to black out, feeling a nudge in his left shoulder as he was swooned over by urban houses and tall buildings. Nothing like his hometown, it was sure cold, but there was no sign of white clear snow decorating the way, instead greens like spring and buildings high like New York City.

The sun was at its peak, it was maybe 10 in the morning and residents would usually go out for their morning coffee.

Kenny noticed Craig bopping his head over old indie music on the radio, his eyes were stuck on the road and if Kenny knew how to sculpt such a thing, he would.

"Donuts?" His tone sounded bored but it was normally like that, Kenny shrugged.

"Anything is fine."

They pulled over this Brown painted café with big windows, displaying bread and coffee. Definitely not a Starbucks but it was popular enough to be filled with people.

After parking, they went inside, similarly to Tweak Bros, the same smell of freshly brewed coffee wafted around and Kenny swore he saw Craig stopped for a second.

He was tasked to find a table while Craig orders, of course he chose the one nearest to the window. It was the most cliché option but who even likes to sit in the middle anyway?

The cushion was perfect, the weather was chilly but he felt more hot than cold, maybe it's his protective parka, he was never sure.

He removed his parka, his mouth which seemed to be muffled with it was seen dry and his skin was pale, he could feel the fresh air in his face.

His eyes were on the window, people were wearing loose clothing rather than thick layers, he could really see the difference in the way people lived and how they carried on, no people in his hometown were rushing with excitement by this hour. Like stupid people who are disguised as adults, they would pretend to know which is better and would try to silence those who did not match their opinions.

It was more lively, more fun, more normal. Of course, nothing in South Park was ever normal but the difference between the two are of a stone wall and a papyrus.

Craig made him tear his eyes off the dreamy city and see him more clearly, like an experienced waiter, he served a hot espresso for him and a cold caramel latte for him along with a slice of cheesecake and a glazed donut.

His mouth watered and he was excited to taste such food, he looked up at Craig who was seated in front of him, staring directly.

"Hey, Mccormick."

He blinked. "Hi."

Craig stared, he never really observed the blond at all but looking at it, his hair was much darker than Tweek's. Eyes are blue like the sunrise sky he swore he held his breath seeing something slip out as he accidentally saw an engraving in his collarbone.

"Gold."

Kenny stopped, eyeing him. "What?" The panic in his eyes stopped the ravenhead

from asking too much, he was being too nosy.

"Nothing."

But Craig wanted to ask more, to read it out loud. To be so nosy, he was curious but he's got better things to do than bother people.

Kenny looked down seeing Golden markings which made him stop. The latte was great but he could feel his head start to thump and he felt nauseous more than ever.

His breathing ragged, eyes blurry but he was not in a state of panic, it was just processing, he could still see Craig's shadow clearly and Craig was alarmed.

'That was embarrassing, wasn't it?'

'I told you, you can deny it all you want but it won't erase the fact that it's there.'

'Get rid of it, quickly.'

'Such a hideous mark.'

"Kenny."

He looked at the clearer view in front of him.

"Count.. count with me, okay?" a nod.

"Alright, one, two, breathe. Inhale, one, two, exhale."

They repeated the process, Craig holding his shoulders as Kenny soon started to calm down. Kenny nodded after calming down, taking a sip of water, zipping his parka up.

Craig smiled. It was rare but maybe it was to calm him down, he sat down. As an act of kindness, Craig offered his glazed donut.

"Are you okay?" Both of them turned their heads to a girl with a bonnet, her skin was pale and her eyes were brown. She was wearing a knitted cardigan with a tank top. She was accompanied by a girl with black hair and eyes.

The blond nodded.

Like a siren, the girl smiled. "I'm Charlotte. This is Agatha." She pointed at the person beside her. She looked frail but she was lively and beautiful.

"He's fine."

"I'm fine." Kenny nodded. "Kenny."

Charlotte nodded, pointing at the seat next to theirs, only to receive confirmation.

"Are you good?" while taking a seat. "Yeah. Maybe just a panic attack."

Craig had no choice but to shut his mouth, but it didn't change the fact that he was eyeing her like a hawk.

Charlotte looked unsettled for a moment but she wasn't vocal about it or so Kenny thought. "Would you like to talk about it?" She asked him.

Kenny didn't really give a proper response, he didn't nod or shake his head. But took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I don't know. I'm not really sure." which earned him a confused look. "It's just that I want to be alone. And I don't want anyone to know."

Kenny stopped. That sounded weird, maybe they could be judging him for all he cares and he wouldn't know.

Like clueless as she is, Kenny thought he was being civil. Charlotte nodded as she agreed. "You know, I think I know why."

Kenny stopped, he also felt Craig listened carefully but judging from his personality, he would just regard it as bullshit.

"It's like you're afraid, aren't you?" Charlotte asked. He nodded again and she smiled. Then he smiled back at her, a little shyly, as if to say "I think you're wrong about that." Charlotte was surprised, then a bit disappointed. She didn't seem to like that answer. Or maybe it wasn't a good one? She wasn't sure.

Kenny seemed more relaxed, maybe because he had been the one who had made the first offer. Maybe it had been a mistake to make it so easy. "I'm not scared of anything. That's the problem."

He didn't say anything else. He just stood there and looked at her, his hands in his pockets. "It's just.. unfamiliar."

He had no idea if the answer was right or wrong, or what the right answer would look like. Charlotte didn't say another word. And Kenny didn't know what Charlotte would think. So he just kept looking at her. Trying to figure out what she was seeing, trying to see what she was thinking. What did it mean? What if her feelings and actions mirrored Kyle? Would Kyle understand? Why is he thinking about Kyle again?

He was just about to ask her when she turned and looked at him, her eyes were glossy. She was becoming emotional. Not just for Kenny, he knew that. Maybe for the world. He was a bit uncertain, she was trying to figure out what to say. She seemed a lot more uncertain than Kenny. Like she didn't know what she wanted to tell him. Maybe she knew, maybe not.

"Sorry, it's just that you remind me of someone." She laughed but it wasn't a happy one.

"Charli.." Agatha on her side tried to comfort her, but she just held her hands in assurance.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." He nodded and tried not to show how he felt. He knew what she was trying to say.

"It's okay, I also didn't mean to remind you of something unpleasant." Kenny shyly looked at her then at Craig, unsure.

"Oh no, no. It wasn't anything but pleasant. You remind me of someone who holds a special place in my heart." She smiled. Her smile made Kenny happy and sad at the same time.

"Thank you, I really appreciate your kind words. I don't think I've ever met anybody like you before." Kenny said. "I mean, all the people from where I am from aren't that social and open." and Charlotte laughed at that again.

"Your words are too kind, Kenny. I hope you're doing well then." Charlotte's phone rang like she expected it to be. "Ah. I need to get going. I'll see you another time, Kenny." Her kind words made him free of doubt. She turned around seeing Agatha packing their bags, carrying Charlotte's and waiting for her.

"You," She looked at Craig and he raised an eyebrow, "You did a good job taking care of him, it was also nice meeting you." She received no response, and a last wave at Kenny's, they were already out of the café.

Craig sighed, looking at Kenny. "That went better than what I thought it would be. You're not as bad as you look." He smiled.

Kenny just rolled his eyes, still relapsed about the whole situation. "I'm done, let me go home now."

"No problem, we can take our time if you want?"

"No, I don't have anything else to do." Kenny said and got up. Craig stood up, "What's with the attitude, McCormick? You were fine a moment ago."

"Fine, sorry. It's just I'm really tired." Kenny didn't feel like talking anymore, so he just started walking towards the car.

Craig shook his head. "So that's why you never had any friends. If you don't talk to people then how will anyone know about your problems?"

Kenny stopped in his tracks. "What does that even mean?" He looked back, "Look, I've got Leo." He pointed to his chest.

Craig sighed and followed him to his car. Unimpressed. "It means you've got to open up more."

Kenny snorted. "Oh please, nobody wants to hear my issues, trust me, I know."

Before Kenny could open the passenger seat, Craig closed the door. Facing the blond, "I'm interested."

"Why?" Kenny asked.

"Because I think you have something to say that you need to get off your chest. And I bet it's important to you, otherwise you wouldn't be so defensive."

Kenny crossed his arms. "Yeah sure, whatever."

Craig sighed, "I'll wait until you're ready."

Kenny opened the car door, and sat down. He looked at Craig, who was already staring ahead.

"You wouldn't stop bothering me, would you?"

Craig shrugged. "I would if you ask me to."

"Ah."

"Aren't you gonna ask me to stop pestering you?" Craig smirked and Kenny swore it was enticing if he didn't know Craig personally.

"No." Kenny grumbled and looked away from him. "Wouldn't be worth it."

"Good answer." Craig winked at him, then started driving.

They drove for a while in silence. Kenny's mind was swimming around all the thoughts that had been spinning in his head. He knew they weren't going home anytime soon. He knew Craig was still sultry with Tweek and he thought that prevented them. It was Craig's car that they are using anyways, even if he did want to go home, there's no chance they would. He sighed, and leaned against the window.

He heard Craig turn on the radio, but he didn't pay attention to what song was playing. His ears perked up when he heard the familiar voice. "Hey, you should listen to this one."

Craig turned the volume louder and Kenny couldn't help himself from humming along to the song. It sounded so much like the band he used to listen to, but different. The lyrics were amazing, and it felt like his own soul was singing along. When the chorus came, Craig sang along loudly too, feeling like his heart was breaking.

Kenny stopped as he caught his breath after singing the final line. Craig turned the music off and glanced at the blond. "What?"

Kenny nodded. "Thanks. That was amazing."

Craig smiled, It was genuine. "You're weird, McCormick."

Kenny chuckled. "Only one way to find out."

"Never."

A few minutes later, Kenny's phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw that it was a call from Tweek. He looked worried, turned to look at Craig before answering and putting the call on speaker. "Hi, Ken. Where are you?"

Kenny sighed. "North Park."

The blond frowned, Kenny assumed he did because there was no way of knowing, "You're not serious right now, are you?"

Kenny sighed. "Yeah, I'm totally serious."

"Is Craig with you?"

"Yes."

"When will you be coming back?"

Kenny looked at Craig, who avoided his eyes. "I don't know, he said it might take a couple of hours."

Tweek groaned. "You didn't have to tell him that."

"I didn't have to. I wanted to."

"That wasn't necessary," Craig said.

"It wasn't, Craig? Then come home right now! Let's talk it out, don't drag Kenny into this."

Craig's expression changed for a moment before turning back, "End the call, Ken."

"Hey, are you really going to be this difficult?!" Tweek's voice was weak.

"No."

"Then let's settle this!"

"I'll talk to you later, Hon. I'm sorry, maybe when I'm not angry."

"Fine." Tweek hung up.

Kenny put his phone back in his pocket and glanced over at Craig again, who quickly turned away. "Sorry about that."

Kenny shook his head. "Don't apologize, please."

Craig looked uncomfortable. "Hey, if you don't feel like going home, we can find activities to do somewhere around here."

He stopped, thought for a moment before looking back at the latter, "I've always wanted to try bowling."

That seemed to ease it, the air was suddenly joyous and the raven haired broke into a smile. "Let's do that, yes."

He opened his phone, scrolling before following the GPA location of a nearby bowling alley.

North Park was a big city for sure, there was nothing much smaller than a size of a donut but this opened their eyes, for the first time, Kenny wanted to explore. Wanted to see more of this and wanted nothing to hold him back, nothing.

They parked the car and took a short walk to the bowling alley. There was no one else inside and they walked up to the counter where a guy with glasses greeted them. "Welcome to Lucky Strike, how many people are in your party?"

"Two."

The man smiled, "Follow me."

They followed him through the door to the arcade area and Kenny frowned, "This is a bowling alley?"

Craig laughed. "Of course, it's a bowling alley. Let's just follow him, he'll show us our lanes."

The guy led them down some stairs and into the actual bowling hall, which was packed full of people. The two boys looked around, mouth open and eyes wide. They were expecting a small bowling alley with maybe 6 or 7 lanes. This was huge, it was like a mini-amusement park.

Kenny looked at the guy, "How many lanes does this place have?"

"Uhh... I think forty-four."

"Forty-four?! What is this, a bowling stadium?!"

The guy chuckled, "There aren't many places bigger than this. We're lucky enough to have these lanes."

Kenny looked at him, "And you work here?"

"Yep."

"Seriously?"

"Yup."

Kenny turned to Craig, "Wanna bowl?"

"Sure."

They took their shoes and put them on. The other people in the place were already waiting for them to start, so they kept quiet and stood behind the others as they waited for the clerk to call their lane.

As soon as everyone was finished, they found themselves standing in front of the counter. The man had a number of balls ready for them and he handed each of them a pair of bright orange bowling shoes. Kenny tried the shoe on, it fit perfectly and he could move around easily.

The man handed them the score cards, "Ready?"

"Good," Kenny said.

He started the game by rolling his first ball and after that everything went smoothly. After three games, Kenny got a strike on his last try, which earned him a round of applause from the people in the arcade and bowling hall. Craig finished his third game with a spare, making him the winner of the game.

It was about 2 in the afternoon when they finished and decided to stay in North Park for the rest of the day, they decided to go to a drive through and maybe go to an art museum because Kenny wanted to, this time, it was his money to spend as he realized he has been relying to Craig the whole day.

"I don't really get these paintings." Kenny trailed, but still awestruck. "Yeah, they're shitty. Cost a fortune and it might range from 30 to 50 bucks on Ebay."

"They're abstract." They turned to look on their back, seeing a redheaded girl. Smelled of lemons and probably a shirt thrown in at the last minute.

"Red?" She waved, before dangling her arms at Craig's shoulders. "What are you here, buddy?"

"Fuck off." She giggled like a high person before turning at the Parka-less boy. "Hm. Blond."

"It's Kenny, you fucking idiot." Craig stepped away from his cousin, before dusting the fake dirt in his shirt.

"Oh! Kenny!" The girl jogged towards him, hugging him.

Kenny grunted and pushed her away. "Uh?"

"Oh my god! You're so tall!"

Kenny froze, "Well, thanks." At least, someone thinks he is. "What are you two doing here?"

Craig puffed a breath, "Obviously looking at the shitty paintings."

"He and Tweek got into a fight." Kenny reasoned.

"Wow!" Red laughed. "Such a sweet couple."

"Shut up." Craig rolled his eyes. "Let's go, Ken." Kenny shrugged, saluting before tailing the guy.

"It's not nice to disclose information like that, Ken."

"Ha! When did you start calling me Ken?" The blond wiggled his eyebrow, it was clear he was playful this time, like the old typical him.

"Whatever, just don't disclose it to strangers."

"But isn't she like your family?"

"She's barely a family, you have no idea what kind of shit stunt she pulled back in our last family gathering." Like it was the end of the conversation, he walked through the museum, paintings caught Kenny's eyes, it was surrealism and he thought it was wonderful.

The raven haired frowned at one painting, 'Modern Art' it read above the canvas. Kenny wandered around the gallery, staring at all the paintings until he spotted the exit. He turned to the exit and froze, in front of him was a sign that read 'Gallery Entrance'.

He turned to Craig, "You wanna see this?"

"I don't know. Is it worth the time?"

Kenny shrugged, "Let's find out."

He walked through the entrance and stopped in his tracks. Inside the room was an exhibit with canvases on display. The artworks were mesmerizing, even the ones that had been made years ago were still outstanding. Kenny felt a strange connection to these works, it was like they knew him.

He stared at one painting that caught his eye, it was of a little girl walking near a sunset. Kenny wasn't sure why, but he instantly connected to the piece. It was peaceful, as though something good would happen to him if he gazed at it long enough. He looked at another painting. It was of a woman in black holding a baby in her arms.

He looked up to the sign above his head. 'Selected Paintings of Claude Monet'.

"Holy shit." Kenny whispered.

He turned to look at Craig, who stood beside him. "Yeah, what?"

"This is amazing." Kenny breathed, his eyes focused on the painting. "Look at the colors, the lighting, the shading..." He trailed off, "I feel like I know her."

Craig chuckled. "You're such a weirdo."

The raven haired looked at him, "I'm not being weird. This is beyond beautiful."

Craig sighed, "All right then."

Strolling around the gallery was one thing when his eyes stuck to a painting of a male and a female with intertwined fingers, a golden mark in their arms. It was a crowded place, but maybe no one took notice of the paintings, mesmerized with something more popular than hidden gems and he didn't hesitate to walk closer. The male looked sad, and the female in the painting was smiling. He didn't understand why but whatever he's feeling made him want to bite his own tongue if he ever opened it.

"It's an artwork by Luis Vandeur." Craig was familiar with the artist, Tweek loved the painter and wouldn't stop talking about him.

"It represents us people, we always have someone to rely on, someone to love, someone to find. Our missing half. Our home." He turned to look at Kenny. "I hope you will eventually feel that too."

Kenny stared at him, trying to understand what he meant, but he couldn't decipher the meaning but Kenny nodded, before looking back at the painting. "I'll find them, maybe then I can see what you mean."

"That's not what I meant, Kenneth." Kenny raised an eyebrow, looking at Craig. "Your soulmate." Kenny blinked.

"Why are you rejecting them?" He looked sad, almost like a nostalgic feeling, Kenny didn't feel fear. Just wide-eyed gaping at Craig.

"I..I didn't reject them." His voice was so soft, it nearly missed Craig's ears. "I just haven't met them yet."

Craig smiled, "You can't keep lying to yourself."

"I'm not." Kenny shook his head, his eyes glued on the painting. "I just..." He looked up to the ceiling, "I'm scared."

Craig sighed, "Of what?"

Kenny looked around the gallery, "I don't know. I don't know, Craig." His eyes full of realization opened wide, as he looked at the raven-haired boy.

"I.. I can't love them. Not that I wanted to, I just can't."

Kenny felt his heart grow heavy. He had felt it before, but not in the same strong way as he had seen his friends feel it. He had watched them fall head over heels in love, and he envied their courage.

Craig took a step closer, and put a hand on Kenny's shoulder. "It's ok." He said softly, "It's normal to feel scared. Maybe it's not just you."

Kenny felt a weight lift off his chest. He nodded and looked back to the painting. What Craig said reminded him of Butters. "Maybe you're right. Maybe it's normal to feel this way."

Kenny took a few steps towards the painting, and he felt his heart stir as he gazed upon the masterpiece. It was breathtaking, and he couldn't help but be in awe. He was an introspective person, but he always found himself struggling to explain his feelings to others. He had tried numerous times to explain what he felt meant, but it was never quite enough. He could never put his feelings into one word. His eyes drifted to the red-haired figure in the painting, and he felt something he had never felt before: a strong, undeniable certainty.

He looked at the figure, feeling a sudden rush of adrenaline. He knew what he was feeling, and it scared him. He took a few steps back, and turned to Craig. "I think," he said, his voice shaking, "I think I know what's going on with me."

He stood face to face with the guy, and he just listened.

Craig nodded in understanding. "It's ok," he said, "it's normal." And this time, Kenny didn't hesitate to show the golden letters embedded in his collarbone.

-----

"Where the fuck did you run off to?!" Kevin yelled, his eyes met with Craig's who had his window rolled down.

The sound of the engine and the wind whipping through was enough to get Kevin's hair up into a mess as well. He pulled it down in frustration. Craig just watched him.

"I went out."

Kevin rolled his eyes, pulling his younger brother and growled at the man who sat in his car with a smug look on his face. His hands were behind his head and he looked completely relaxed despite Kevin being angry about that fact.

"Out!? Do you know how worried I was?"

"Kev, it's just like one of those times where I would sneak out. You don't have to be so angry about it." And this seemed to add fuel to the fire.

"You stopped 'going out' a long time ago! And what would you do if you'd get in trouble!?"

He stormed over the snowy path and threw his arm over the edge of the car window in anger. Kevin knew he was trying to be intimidating but it only seemed to make things worse.

Craig didn't budge. Instead, he leaned back slightly, closing his mouth to let out a light 'hm'. When he opened it again, there was a smirk on his face that made Kevin's heart sink more than before. "So what? He'll get in trouble eventually anyways," and he shrugged like it meant nothing. It infuriated Kevin even further.

"Don't drag my brother into your nonsense, Fucker." He slammed the car door, making a dent. Making Craig laugh under his breath.

"Kevin. You didn't have to do that." He heard Kenny in his back.

"Go home." Kevin spat as turned around to face his brother.

It was clear, the blond had no say. Craig turned and started the engine, leaving the two no choice but to go inside the house.

"Mom and Dad?" He asked.

"Asleep, you're lucky they're busier on weekends. They would never know that you've been sneaking out."

"I wasn't sneaking out, okay? When did I even get a curfew? When did you even get all strict?" He rolled his eyes.

"I'm not. But just give us a heads up next time. God knows what, I thought you ran away."

He knew it was true, there are instances where it had become an exclusive thought and he had no idea how to act upon it. But that was long ago. Their family is slowly becoming better, he's not going to throw that away.

"Karen was scared." Kevin laughed. "She couldn't find you so she went to me, asking me to help her with her homework."

Right. Karen. She must be asleep since it's already 8. Maybe that made him feel a little warm, knowing she was okay and all.

"Sorry."

"I know." Kevin frowned, taking the chullo off the younger kid's hair. "You should take a bath."

"Ah. I forgot to give it back to Craig." He snatched the chullo back, stuffing it in his pockets.

Kevin couldn't help but roll his eyes. He thought Tricia was fine but he never really liked the eldest Tucker. He thought his pda might affect Karen but that was it until the same fucker almost gave him a heart attack. Seeing Kenny missing and exiting his car a few days later.

After opening the door Kenny was engulfed in a big hug. He was surprised only to find the embrace was shaky, he looked up to see the familiar blond hair.

"Leo.." He didn't know what to say. The past two days had been a roller coaster of emotions with Craig and this time, he was still confused to face Butters and Kyle. But he wasn't scared. Just wary.

"Kenny.. Kenny... Are you okay..?" He pulled away, cupping both of Kenny's cheeks. It was then that he noticed his eye bags and sky blue tired eyes.

"Hey, when did you get here?" There was an edge of worry in his tone as Butters rubbed his thumbs gently over Kenny's cheekbones. Kenny didn't feel like talking and instead chose to lean closer into the touch.

"Not too long ago," Butters answered, shrugging noncommittally. His hands fell from Kenny's cheeks to hold onto his hands, which had returned to resting on Kenny's shoulders. He didn't look any calmer than before.

"He's been here since yesterday." He heard Kevin's voice, then he closed the door.

"Do you think we can talk somewhere else?" Butters nodded and followed Kenny inside. He was surprised when he didn't lead the way upstairs to his room. Instead, they continued walking through the hallways until they reached a room that held an assortment of empty bookshelves. Probably the garage.

Kenny took his hand and led him towards the middle of the room. It didn't take long for Butters to notice the smell of smoke. It was weird to smell smoke in winter. He threw his bag on the nearby stacked boxes, removed his parka, revealing the same oversized shirt before plopping his body down on the stacked broken mattress.

"Ken."

"I went to North Park, Leo."

"Ah." He blinked. "How did that happen?"

"Craig got into some shit and I found him on my way there."

"Is that why you left yesterday?" He bit his lip, scared of whatever Kenny is going to say next.

"Yeah. Did you know? Is that why you came looking for me?"

Butters stared at Kenny's blue eyes, noting the obvious nervousness. He decided to keep quiet and watch Butters as he spoke.

"I saw him the other day, Friday before the campaign. He was with Tweek. He was mad. I figured he got dumped."

"Did you talk to them?"

"No. I don't want to bother either one of them."

Kenny laughed. "Well, then you shouldn't have come." He shook his head, his fingers running through his hair.

"You could've just texted me."

"I couldn't."

That made Butters frown. "Why not?"

"I thought I would tell you once I see you tomorrow."

"I don't understand."

"It's nothing, it's just..." Kenny was nervous. He felt bad.

"It's just what?"

He was drained, maybe a little high because he was tired. "I realized that I am actually a dick sometimes. I always want to give the impression that everything is alright but I just wanted to let you know that I'm scared, Leo. And I realized I don't want anything new. I'm content."

He didn't expect the words to sink in. He thought it was a good thing but now he's starting to think otherwise.

"You.. found your soulmate..?" His eyes trailing on the bold golden words in his collarbone. This time, Kenny didn't feel ashamed. Maybe the voices in his head were still there but it didn't make him nauseous. He nodded, staring at the ceiling and closing his eyes.

"Who.. Who is it?" He asked quietly, afraid that he might break down and cry or something.

"Someone I know."

"How do you know each other?"

"We.. We met during a party. A friend of mine invited me and I became friends with the person I was with. After that, we started talking more and more and now we're together."

"A friend of yours?"

"Yes."

"Have you told her?"

There was silence. Kenny wanted to laugh but he would seem rude. Butters was nervous, he didn't want to scare the crap out of him.

"He knows."

There are a lot of emotions he is feeling right now and Butters didn't want to admit it but his heart felt heavy and Kenny knows, that's what drove him to draw a distance between them before Butters will forget that about his soulmate.

"Congratulations, Ken."

Kenny smiled weakly and for the first time, the two just looked at each other in complete silence. There was no awkwardness between them. Kenny finally broke the silence, "Thank you."

He didn't know what it was for, maybe for giving up on him or not. But he was sure Butters will have to suck up whatever he planned to do or whatever feeling he harbors towards him.

-----

The results were being announced today, Kyle took a breath, feeling nervous. It was 10 in the morning and he was backstage with Wendy who was clearly busy preparing a thank you speech. He just hopes he wins the Vice-President position.

He peeked outside the curtain, seeing Stan waving at him while wearing a blue shirt, indicating that he was rooting for his party. Cartman on the other hand was doing a good job of pissing him off, wearing a yellow shirt with a matching bandana.

"You're gonna lose, you stupid Jew!" He shouted, earning him a nudge from Stan.

Kyle gave him a middle finger before continuing to eye the crowd, Sheila was there with her camera beside Ike. He knew he was too old for these kinds of things but Sheila would just call him silly. 'You're never too old, bubbie' Is what he would imagine her say.

"Kyle, come here!" He looked back, seeing Wendy gesturing him to come close, and close he did. She pointed at the end corner of the backstage, seeing Butters in a neat suit being accompanied by mother. He didn't really mind it that much so he raised an eyebrow at Wendy.

Linda only smiled. "Now I want you to make sure that your speech is perfect." Butters sighed. "But to be honest, you'll do fine, it's all about winning." Kyle couldn't understand if he internally cringed but thought Wendy felt the same.

Butters nodded then turned around, looking at the backstage before meeting eyes with them and waved. The two gave him a big smile, trying to reassure him that everything was okay, they were supporting him. As long as whatever that wasn't against Butters judgment.

"Poor kid," Wendy whispered. Kyle shrugged, hearing the MC from the outside and the applause.

"Ah. We're up."

It was the moment Kyle was waiting for, he stepped out onto the stage with a large grin, walking to stand next to Butters who had a smile on his face, obviously excited. They high fived as Sheila made a gesture for him to pose.

"Alright folks, we are here to celebrate the election of the new student council Vice President of South Park High!"

The previous winners were announced, almost all of Tolkein's party was winning. Bebe, Jimmy and Timmy were all lined up, waiting for Butters.

The MC pulled out a white envelope, opening it and pulling out the paper.

"Our vice president is... " The audience was silent. "Kyle Broflovski!"

Everyone cheered, Kyle waved awkwardly at everyone before making his way toward the stage. Butters and Sheila were cheering along as well while Eric booed.

"Shut up," Kyle mumbled to the audience, receiving a few laughs from them, though most probably because he spoke loudly. After all, nobody liked an uncouth person or someone who talked badly, except for Kyle himself. Everyone else ignored him though. He walked in front of the microphone, giving an embarrassed shrug at the applause, even the people sitting closest to the stage were clapping. He didn't have any problem with this, he could take compliments if he wanted. He's always been like that.

"Hi guys." This earned him a few 'Hi' as well.

"Thanks for voting for me.." A pause, he never really prepared a speech. "I... I'm just glad that your vote is going into a safe place, and not being used to get something illegal, or dangerous..." Few of the audience laughed. "And I would like to thank the people, students, friends, and teachers that supported me. I feel more confident than ever now..." Another pause. "And I promise to do my best and to help our school grow, I know we need that to succeed in life. Thank you." And he turned around to walk away, making his way beside Bebe. The crowd erupted in applause again as Kyle joined them, giving a quick wave.

The MC cleared his throat to regain their attention. "Next up, will be..." A few cheers ensued. "For President! Tolkien Black and Wendy Testaburger!"

Wendy stood up from her chair, she walked towards the stage, smiling brightly at everyone as she went up and Tolkien followed, shaking hands with the MC as they stood in front of the stage. There was some cheering and a loud 'Oooh' coming from the audience as the audience was aware of the relationship between her and Tolkien.

Nothing really eventful happened other than that. They were congratulated by the teachers and friends that supported them, some even started crying, which was quite odd. It was only when the election ended and the crowd started leaving did Kyle realize how exhausted he felt. It was the first time he got involved with a hierarchy in school and he felt pretty great. Tolkien won and this meant for another great celebration.

As soon as he stepped out of the auditorium, he noticed Butters waiting for him, so he gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Congratulations, Kyle." The boy said with a smile so pure, it could even blind the sun.

"Thank you." He smiled back, but without much effort It was already a little late after all.

"Are you okay?" Butters asked. Butters let out a hollow laugh, smiling. "Yeah, of course I am..." He answered, glancing behind Butters. "Have you.. maybe seen Kenny?" He was looking everywhere for him. Kenny wasn't very hard to miss, he looked like a beacon of sunshine and rays.

Butters shook his head. His expression fell. "He left early."

So, there went one of Kyle's assumptions. Kenny was acting weird lately, like he was avoiding him, and he was pretty sure that was the case. Kenny always did the exact opposite of what he wanted to do. It was kind of strange, especially since the blond had done nothing wrong, not even anything wrong. And they did everything together. So why the sudden change in behavior? And when, and why?

He was deep in thoughts when somebody came from behind him, grabbing both of his shoulders in a tight grip. Kyle shrieked and jumped backwards, turning around quickly. When he saw who it was, he let out a sigh of relief.

"Jesus Christ dude!" He groaned. "Don't scare me like that!" He slapped Stan's arm lightly to stop him, frowning.

The latter boy snorted. "Sorry I guess I didn't mean to, I swear." He tapped his shoulder twice, "Oh, hey Butters."

"Heya, Stan." He waved, before pointing. "I remember, I think I have something going on. I'll talk to you both later."

"Oh, uh sure. Later." Then Butters took off like a flying bird, leaving Stan and Kyle alone with each other. "Okay, what was that about?" Stan asked. He was still holding Kyle's shoulders and Kyle was trying not to squirm.

Kyle glanced behind his shoulder, making sure nobody was watching them. He looked back at Stan with a deadpan look. "What do you mean?"

Stan sighed, releasing him, crossing his arms. "Come on Kyle, it was obvious from where I stood, he knows something." Kyle was taken aback by this, staring at Stan. "I did not give you permission to talk about this in public." He said flatly, raising an eyebrow.

"Besides, Butters is just being Butters."

"Well, excuse me if I'm being suspicious about his sudden change of behavior. You have no idea how I feel, man, and I'm worried about him." Stan rolled his eyes, guiding the redhead out in the hallways.

"What makes you think he's in trouble?"

"Because every time he sees or someone mentions Kenny, he gets quiet and has an odd look on his face." That last part made Kyle raise an eyebrow.

"That might just be a coincidence."

Stan scoffed at him. "I don't believe in coincidence and if that was just a coincidence, I'd say he isn't telling us everything." Kyle opened his mouth to say something back but shut it again when he heard his phone buzz inside his pocket. He pulled out an unknown number calling him, he looked apologetically, he needed to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey Kyle. This is Kenny, can I come over tonight?" That made his stomach drop. A new phone? A new number? Kyle was confused.

"...Uh.." Kyle looked down at the floor, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Sure, why? Everything alright?"

There was a silence on the line then Kenny spoke again "Just wanna see ya, ya know, hang out with friends."

Kyle felt uncomfortable hearing this. It sounded like he actually missed him. And he hated to admit it, but he missed Kenny too. Maybe a lot more than he should have. He bit his lip. "I um. Okay. You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Okay, I'll see you at seven."

"Sounds good."

"Alright, I'll see ya."

"Okay." And with that, the call ended. Kyle stared at his phone for a second before closing it and shoving it into his pocket.

"Everything okay?" Stan had stopped walking, looking at Kyle with concern. Kyle sighed. "I can't go to Tolkien's tonight."

"Huh? Who was it?"

"Kenny wants to come over and it sounds like he wanted to tell me something, but it also sounds really awkward." And that's exactly the problem. It sounded like he wanted to hang out with Kyle, like they were actually friends instead of just soulmates, which honestly wasn't a terrible thing. It was a nice feeling and a nice surprise that Kyle wouldn't mind if they grew closer to one another.

However that meant that, although things were going well for him right now, he couldn't guarantee it was going to stay that way. Right? Or maybe not. Maybe it wasn't as simple as that and Kenny just wanted to see Kyle alone. But he knew there was something else that was bothering Kenny, and he knew that it was important, that Kenny couldn't hide it forever.

-----

Kenny stood outside of Broflovski's residence for a while. He hadn't been able to knock yet. He wasn't quite ready for this conversation. Even with his brain thinking it was just going to go well, even with all the plans he had, he found himself struggling with this.

He was nervous. Why shouldn't he be? After all, they weren't close anymore. Not even friends anymore. If it was just the beginning of their friendship, he would be fine, but this was the start of something that he thought he couldn't imagine doing. And because of this, he felt uneasy.

He was scared He didn't want to lose Kyle, because, despite all the hurt and confusion he's felt in his lifetime, Kyle is still his friend, and he didn't like the idea of having him gone. He didn't think he could handle it.

He shook the thoughts from his head and knocked on the door. For a moment there was no reply, then there were footsteps approaching. He heard a click, and Kyle opened the door, looking surprised but relieved. He stepped aside, gesturing for him to come in.

"Hey," Kenny smiled softly as he entered. He tried to keep his voice calm.

"Hey, are you okay?" Kyle asked, looking concerned. Kenny nodded slowly.

"I... Yeah." He replied. The two boys stood silent for a few seconds, then Kenny spoke once again. "Um... Can we talk?"

Kyle's expression changed to a look of worry again, he swallowed hard. What was it? What would Kenny want to talk to him about? It wasn't like they were talking about something serious like death or something. Kyle was about to ask questions but Kenny cut him off. "No worries, we can talk about whatever." There was a pause. "I just wanted to see you."

There wasn't a trace of humor in his tone this time, only seriousness.

It was clear that he was sincere this time, Kyle could tell. He nodded, biting his bottom lip nervously. "Me too." He whispered.

"Come here." Kenny reached for Kyle and put an arm around his waist pulling him closer, wrapping his arms around the taller boy. Kyle froze at first. After realizing that Kenny was not going anywhere, Kyle leaned into the embrace, resting his head atop of the shorter guy. He inhaled his scent, taking in all of its comforting smell, trying to memorize it.

They stayed like that for a while, holding each other, simply enjoying each other's presence. It wasn't until they heard someone go downstairs and Kyle jumped slightly, breaking contact with the younger boy and hiding his flustered face.

Kenny chuckled, "Kenny?" He saw Ike standing by the stairs, waving at him awkwardly before walking towards the kitchen. "Why are you two down here?"

"We.. It's none of your business." Kyle explained, defensive.

"Alright." He said after a couple of moments of silence. He seemed distracted.

"Well, um, I'm gonna get some drinks. Want anything?" He asked as he walked to the fridge. Kyle and Kenny shared a glance.

"No thanks," Kenny answered and glanced at Kyle who just shrugged in response, also declining the offer.

They went to Kyle's room, the usual blue wallpaper changed and was painted white.

It looked more mature. Adult-like.

Kyle sat on his bed, Kenny sitting across from him on the floor. They were both silent for a bit, just staring at each other in awkward silence. Eventually, Kyle broke the silence again, "Do you want to watch some tv or something?"

Kenny shook his head vigorously.

"Nope!" He gave Kyle a small smile. "But thank you. For offering." He added as he stood up. "Congratulations, by the way. Leo told me you won." Then he laid at Kyle's bed.

"Oh man, this feels good." Kyle just looked at him, awkwardly thinking about what to do next.

Kenny then thought about how nice it would be if he could spend the night here. Maybe he could have a sleepover with him? That was totally normal, right? Yeah, definitely. Definitely not something to frown upon or anything, right? Just casual friendship. Friends cuddle with friends... Right? Or do they?

Then he realized that Kyle had been staring at him ever since he laid down. "What? Do I have somethin' on my face?" Kenny laughed nervously. He felt so much like an idiot right now. This was a big deal to Kyle, obviously, and he was acting like an ignorant jerk, and that made him feel worse than before.

He wanted to make things better but he didn't know how. And now he was being stupid and awkward because of his own lack of knowledge. Why did he feel so nervous? Shouldn't he have known everything about Kyle already? Judging from the way he was moving, body language, he didn't seem mad. He didn't really talk much either... Was this just some weird phase where Kyle was waiting for Kenny to say something first? Like he waited for him to doze off when watching movies and stuff like that? Wait, no he couldn't read Kyle's expressions anymore and it was making his mind hurt... How much longer should he wait?

"Let's.."

"Hm?" Kyle hummed, wide-eyed like a kid who received more than one candy from a house on Halloween.

"Let's make this work.."He finally spoke. "I mean, we're already best friends and everything, so..." Kenny finished. His heart pounded against his chest and he was pretty sure Kyle could hear it too. It was nervousness.

All nervousness.

He was nervous.

But, he couldn't bring himself to look away from those green eyes. They were just looking back at him. And Kenny wasn't afraid at all. It was different. It was scary. But he couldn't keep looking away either. His eyes kept meeting those eyes and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. He tried to move away but found that his muscles were locked.

So, he just stared into them. Into those amazing, green eyes.

Kyle didn't know how to react either, but all he knew is that maybe, even the slightest bit, he could be winning the lottery.

"Yeah.." Like he was out of breath.

"I'll try, okay?" Kenny's voice was sheepish. "But please, make it clear what you want to happen between us."

"You know what I want." It felt so natural to lean over Kenny. The blond didn't pull away though, instead, he moved closer.

"I can't return your feelings, Ky." His breath ticked Kyle's nose.

"I know, Kenny. I don't expect you to." Kyle whispered gently against his lips, closing the distance between them and kissing Kenny.

He kissed Kenny.

His lips tasted minty fresh. He tasted like strawberry lip balm, which was strange considering the fact that he wasn't even wearing any.

The kiss lasted only for a second, but for Kyle, it felt like forever. They separated and opened their eyes.

Kyle looked away, embarrassed. But Kenny's face was unchanging. "Did... Did you understand? What I meant?" Kyle questioned quietly. He didn't know why. He always acted like he needed to explain himself and now he didn't even know what he wanted to say.

Kenny nodded, "For you, this is the least I can do." and Kyle froze. He hadn't expected Kenny to agree. So, why did he think Kenny wouldn't? Kyle felt tears start pricking at his eyes. He turned around, facing the wall. "I shouldn't have done that." He sniffled. Kyle's tears started falling faster and he wrapped his arms around himself tighter, trying to stop the flow. "I can't take advantage of you."

"Ky," Kenny reached out, his cheeks moving in his cheeks. "You're not.."

"You didn't like the kiss, did you?"

"I... can't feel attracted to anyone." Silence. "Not sexually. Not romantically."

Kyle closed his eyes. He didn't expect to hear that answer. His heart shattered, he didn't mind it but why? Out of all people, why his soulmate? The realization hit, like Ike's feelings, similarly–almost described to understand Kenny's. No butterflies in the stomach.

There were several minutes of silence before Kyle spoke again, his throat constricted and raw, "Then is there no way for you to love me?" He croaked out.

"Of course, I love you." Kenny rushed out.

"Respect is all it is, familiarity."

"I'm sorry." He reached for Kyle's hands, kissed it. "Let me make it up to you, Ky. I can't be whatever you've been dreaming of," He looked at him, "So use me. Use me to your heart's content. I'm yours."

Kyle felt a tingle run down his spine. Something else pulled him forward. "If I hurt you, please leave. Don't give yourself to me like that."

"Don't worry about hurting me, Ky. You deserve someone more than me, and I'm just making it up to you."

A tear slid down Kyle's cheek, "I'm not asking for much." His voice trembled slightly. Kenny looked down, Kyle's collar slid, seeing a glimpse of his golden engraved soulmark.

Kenny's thumb traced along the delicate skin softly.

He whispered, "Your mark is beautiful." And he really meant it.