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Gaetan dislikes meditating.
It just doesn't come easy to him. Before he underwent the grasses, he was energetic, yes, but he could just as well sit still, watch the clouds go by.
After the grasses, it's hard. He can still concentrate of course. Hunting is one of the first tasks the young Witchers are set to familiarize themselves with their new-found abilities, and he can sink into focus as he is waiting for his prey. But meditating is hard.
This is bad. He knows it's bad, because out on the Path, he'll have to meditate. It will speed up recovery from injuries and will be the best way for his body to prepare before a contract while potions are stewing and the time passes – but as soon as he has to sit down with the other young adepts, his legs are getting restless and his skin will start to itch.
The mentors have noticed, of course, and Gaetan has been told more than once that this is not uncommon and that Witchers like him will especially benefit from meditation. He surely knows that it does him good whenever he finally succeeds sinking into the Deep Calm Within. Nevertheless, it is so hard to get there, and having to watch his peers becoming still around him while he is still shifting in his spot, trying to find a comfortable position that won't make his legs grow numb and stop his nose from itching and allow his eyes to keep shut and his breathing to slow down is incredibly frustrating.
Of course, he disturbs the others. Aiden makes sure to sit next to him whenever he can, but his brother cannot stop the other adepts from complaining, and thus the mentors have no choice but to place Gaetan a little apart from the group. He hates being singled out like that. He does excel in other parts of the training: He is better with a knife than anyone else in his cohort, and his sure footwork on the tightrope earns him his mentors' praise, but he is still being mocked for not being able to meditate.
Once, he tries to come to meditation practice drunk, but the mentor smells the alcohol on him, of course, and he is sent away to have his schedule heaped with hard camp chores until he has sweated it all out, and he doesn't try it again.
His next plan is to stay up all night before meditation training, and this makes it easier for him twice, until he falls asleep during the third session and one of the boys who doesn't like him tattles on him.
The punishment for that is even worse: Gaetan is sat down across from one of the strictest mentors and is told not to move until he is able to meditate and the mentor can hear his heartbeat and pulse slow down considerably.
He can feel the panic rising in his throat the moment he is given the instructions, but when he is shifting in his spot to try and find a comfortable position, the mentor uses a well-placed Aard and he can feel his right ear stinging from the blow. He tries to sit still and calm down, but it doesn't work. His face has never itched more, his legs are numb and his skin feels as if it is way too tight, but he doesn't dare to move with the mentor's yellow eyes fixed upon him.
After an hour and a half, when he is almost choking on the scream that has been building in his throat, his shirt so soaked with sweat that it is sticking to his back, he is rescued by Miad'iel, one of the oldest female Witchers in the camp. Ignoring the mentor's furious protests, she tells Gaetan to follow her, and Gaetan jumps up from his spot, shakes his hands, stomps his feet and screams until his throat feels raw and his skin feels like it fits again.
Miad'iel takes him to Guxart, who allows her to take Gaetan under her wing for a few days. She explains that she had similar troubles during her training and gives him different tasks to fulfill to calm his mind: Sorting pieces of string according to length, etching repeating patterns into leather, breaking twigs into little same-sized pieces and arranging them into little piles. It works; meditating feels much easier after that.
When he rejoins the others, it is still taking him longest to fall into meditation, but he is able to enter the state and remain calm for a reasonable time. As he becomes older and more independent, he sometimes skips the practice in favour of the things Miad'iel has taught him. Over time, however, he feels that they are not a substitute, but more like a different approach, and that nothing will help him with his inner restlessness as regular meditation.
In the weeks before their last and final trial, Gaetan has nightmares about having to meditate again like he had to during that afternoon: Sitting for hours without moving a muscle, with everything itching and bothering him and the sweat-soaked shirt sticking to his back. He doesn't tell anybody except Aiden, who sleeps next to him, and his brother has the courtesy not to laugh.
Of course, they do not have to meditate during their final trials, and apart from Guxart advising him to keep up his practice diligently, the topic doesn't come up again. He does keep practicing on his first year on the path until it finally becomes somewhat easier over time.
But still. Gaetan doesn't like it.
