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“Can-” Loid cuts himself off looking over Yor’s head towards the door at the end of the hall.
He shifts his weight, as if he intends to step past her and continue down the hall.
Yor ducks her head and shrinks closer to the wall hooking her fingers over her doorknob.
Loid stays silent, staring down the hall. Yor peers up at him as she twists her door handle carefully opening her door. She waits, watching his expression, wondering if he would continue his sentence. Her spine straightens as His eyes narrow, his expression searching and almost cold as he glances from his door to her. Finally, he sighs, his brow furrows as he looks towards the floor, his eyes closing for a moment before they raise, and he meets Yor’s gaze. His expression switches, now hinting at a vulnerability that simultaneously frightens and intrigues Yor.
He flexes one of his hands, “Can I kiss you?”
“Oh.”
Sound reminiscent of television static fills her ears, her face setting ablaze with a burning heat.
Oh, that was the vulnerability she had sensed.
“Um.” Yor avoids looking in Loid’s direction staring at her door handle and leaning her shoulder against the wall, her door is ajar and in order to dispel her urge to flee she closes her door. “Al- Alright Sure.” The click as her door closes signifying her decision. She laughs, shortly, Awkwardly, releasing her hand from her doorknob.
“Are you sure?”
Yor gazes down at her doorknob.
“Yes” She tears her gaze away, not wanting to provide herself with the opportunity to flee. She knew she would be frustrated with herself later if she backed out.
However, as she continues to stay where she is, shoulder against the wall and still avoiding looking at Loid. Loid stationary in front of her, her gaze drops to the door handle again. She could so easily put an end to this wait if she fled into the security of her own room, she could even continue. Fleeing out her window and into the street seemed to be an appealing idea in this moment.
No, she wanted to at least try, didn’t she? She notices she’s still leaning against the wall, somewhat discerning that Loid was probably waiting for her to step away from the wall.
She pulls away from the wall, straightening up and finally turning her face to Loid's expectancy, hoping he would tell her what she needed to do.
Loid surges forward, covering the 2 to 3 steps between them in one swift movement, his lips connecting rather suddenly with hers.
Perhaps a second later, overwhelmed and caught off guard from the way Loid’s presence fills her senses, Yor flinches back.
Yor steps back, leaning towards the wall again, That had been A bad kiss, she didn’t require experience with kissing to know that; it was obvious she had fumbled the kiss. The simple sensation of Loid’s lips against her own, what kissing was all about, had sent her jerking away from him.
That was something she had expected. She expected her first kiss to not be a good kiss.
However, she hadn’t expected the disappointment. Was that really what a kiss felt like?
She had watched television and read books and the first kiss was always depicted to be such a magical moment, fiction was obviously lying about that, She had known that her first kiss would likely not be like those in fiction, but she had expected something better than that.
“I-I’m sorry, I think, you caught me a little off guard...” At least she had only flinched back and not reacted with violence towards Loid.
She also hadn’t expected her usually so put-together husband to kiss her in such an unrestrained matter. She had expected him to be slower, more deliberate with his movements. However, he had rushed forward into their kiss so quickly, that even with her heightened reflexes, it had taken her by surprise.
“We could try that again,” Loid offers, with a small tilt of his head “If you wanted.” He rushes to add.
“Ok. Y- Yeah, let’s do that.” Yor decides, sure she can’t screw up their second kiss more than the first.
Loid moves forward again, it’s slower than last time, however Yor still finds herself unable to keep up with the movement of his lips against hers. Unsure how to move her own lips in response.
They don’t verbally communicate for their next kiss. Moving only their lips away from each other before moving forward again. And finally, Yor attempts to move her lips against his, mimicking the slide of his lips against her own. She’s delirious with the knowledge that she was finally kissing someone. She had now had her second and her third kiss. Panicked by the way her lips have fumbled against his, that her hands are placed firmly on his shoulders, prepared to push him away. Had she already pushed him away during their first kiss? She wasn’t sure, unable to remember what her hands had been doing at the initial touch of Loid’s lips against her own.
They step back from each other and Yor slumps against the wall, her face hot as she looks down the hallway.
“I’m sorry, that wasn’t...”
“It will get better,” Loid assures “the more we-” he pauses.
Yor turns her face to meet his eyes, shyly smiling. He wanted to kiss her more?
“Yeah?” she says softly.
There’s a slight flicker of uncertainty on his face. Was he worried that perhaps she wouldn’t want to kiss him anymore?
“Come here?” His voice starts off as an instruction, an invitation but ends with a questioning lift in his tone.
Yor waits a moment before she eagerly steps forward, tilting her face for his, Thier lips pressing together. She places her hands on his shoulders again before sliding her palms to his upper arms, resting her hands without bracing to push him away like last time.
She has come so far to be doing this, to be kissing Loid again, to have kissed him for this many times without her anxiety getting the better of her, she was impressed she had handled the initial kiss without her anxiety acting up let alone the ones that followed.
Yor’s stomach twists as Loid’s hands find their way to her waist brushing down before he gently grips her hips for a moment, Yor presses closer, Loid’s teeth grazing her bottom lip.
After kissing for the sixth or maybe the seventh time, Yor has lost count. They pull away from each other again. Yor smiles, as they part, looking at her hands still on Loid’s shoulders.
They stay in silence for a while, only the sound of their breaths filling the space between them.
“Yor?” Loid finally says.
“Mhmm?” she hums, stepping back so she can meet his gaze easier. Fidgeting as her hands leave his shoulders.
“I’ve, um, never done that before.” Yor admits.
“Oh.” Loid’s eyebrows twitch up, “I didn’t realize.”
“I thought you would. The first one was so bad.”
“You were nervous, and it wasn’t that bad. I was just glad you didn’t kick me again.”
Yor cups her hands to the side of her face. “Loid! I really am sorry for that.”
Loid chuckles gently, grabbing her wrists and lowering her hands away from her face, “But that was nice.”
“Yeah? Really?”
“Yes, really.” Loid runs his thumb over one of her hands. “It wasn’t too much?”
“Too much? No, it wasn’t, it was nice.”
They smile at each other, lingering in the hallway, Loid’s fingers lightly gripping Yor’s wrists. Finally, he flinches, letting go of her hands. “Well, I should let you- We were heading to bed.”
“Oh, um yes! Right, bed.”
“S-separately of course!” Loid blurts out his ear tips, tinting red.
“Of course!” Yor’s face burns.
Loid steps past her rushing past her and Yor flings open her door, taking a few steps into her room, she then pivots heading back into the hallway, she freezes staring at Loid who has also turned back to face her.
They move to each other, Loid’s hand hovering over her hips, “Can I-"
Yor grabs his hands, holding them against her hips. “Yes.”
Loid dips his head, and Yor tilts her face to brush their lips together quickly.
They part, smiling softly at each other.
Loid takes a step back, his hands dropping from her waist. Their hands linking together between them. “Goodnight, Yor.”
“Goodnight.”
They step back slowly separating until only their fingers are touching.
“Sleep well.” Loid says as he finally steps back, their hands no longer touching.
“Thank you, you sleep well too.”
They keep standing in the hallway looking at each other before Loid turns to his door, opening it and then turning to look at Yor “Alright Goodnight.”
Yor turns to her door and giggles. “Goodnight.”
They smile at each other one last time before Yor steps into her room and closes her door between her, her face splits into a grin and she paces around her room unbelieving that she had just kissed Loid at all, let alone that many times. She takes a deep breath to calm herself and takes off her dressing gown, stretching her arms above her head before she sits at the edge of her bed trailing her fingers over her hip where Loid had gripped earlier.
Yor had kept her lips parted since she had separated from Loid. Trying to keep the sensation of his lips on hers. She finally darts her tongue out to wet her lips, her face heating as she picks up Loid’s taste on her lips, a mix of coffee and something else that must be uniquely Loid. She covers her face with her hands.
Finally, after all these years, she has kissed someone; she was nearly 30 and she had finally had her first kiss, something that everyone her own age had seemed to have done ages before her, while they were still teenagers, her co-workers had their first kiss when they had been about half her age.
It had always been something she had been very insecure about, now only did she not have the easiest education while growing up, forced to learn from what Yuri could teach her or what she could learn for herself by reading his textbooks if she wasn’t too busy with assassinations or maintaining their home. But she also had very limited social experience as well.
She knew the locations of, and how to slash all the major arteries. She knew all about poisons and blades.
Vital information but not topics that were useful for civilian interactions.
But now Yuri had a successful career. She didn’t need to spend all her time ensuring Yuri’s wellbeing. She still was caring for a child, but now she was an adult herself and she wasn’t alone. She had Loid’s support. Not only with raising Anya, but Loid was a support to her as well.
She had a husband, and a daughter. She was getting along a little better with her co-workers now that she could talk to each other about marriage and parenting. She even had developed a sort of friendship with Melinda.
And despite the fact that Anya was in a lower grade, Yor had even started learning more from Anya’s homework and textbooks.
And now she had had her first kiss, and not only just her first kiss, but she and Loid and kissed.
It seemed as though everything was looking up in her life. She slips under her bed covers, hugging her blanket to her chest. She’s giddy and wondering if it will be possible at all for her to calm down enough to sleep.
_
Yor wakes to sounds originating from the kitchen. She presses her fingers to her lips, her face warming as she thinks about Loid and the kisses, they had shared last night. She sits up in bed, drawing her knees to her chest, fidgeting and looking towards her door filled with anticipation of seeing Loid again after last night. Eventually she gets up, putting on her dressing gown, deciding that she would get dressed after breakfast.
She heads out to the kitchen standing at the end of the hallway and watching Loid as he stood over the stove.
Yor raises a hand to her face, fingers trailing over lip, the sight of Loid bringing back all the memories from last night.
He doesn’t notice her for a while until he stiffens and turns his head. His body relaxes as he sees her, his cheeks tinging pink. “Oh Yor! Good morning!” He turns back to the stove. “How long have you been there?”
She giggles, biting her lip, “Not too long.”
“You are the only person able to sneak up on me.”
“I wasn’t sneaking up on you.” Yor says, walking over to the kitchen.
Loid flinches and then turns to her. "And yet you manage to.” he looks her up and down quickly. “You just move so gracefully.”
“I move gracefully?” Yor leans her lower back against the kitchen island, watching Loid. She had learnt how to be quiet due to her assassinations, so she would consider it to be stealth rather than grace, but there was no use in correcting him. “Thankyou.”
Loid smiles at her, “Breakfast is almost ready.” He turns back to the stove.
“Alright, I’ll make the hot drinks soon.”
“Did you sleep well?”
“Um.” Yor told her head, running her fingers through her hair.
Loid turns to her, raising an eyebrow.
“Well, I just, I couldn’t stop thinking about last night, the kissing."
“Oh!”
Yor watches colour rise on his ears.
“I also thought about it.” Loid transfers the eggs from the pan to a waiting plate. Then places the pan to the side of the sink. “I’ll go wake up Anya.” He steps away from the stove.
Yor pushes away from the kitchen island, “you were thinking about our kisses too?”
They pause together in the kitchen; eyes meeting and Loid brushes his fingers against Yor’s hand. “Yes.”
“Really?”
“Is it really that surprising?”
“It wasn’t your first kiss. I mean, you have obviously done a lot more than kissing.”
Loid’s face flushes
And Yor waves her hands rapidly as she realizes what she has said. “Oh no! I didn’t mean! - well I…”
Loid covers part of his face with the back of his hand “No it’s ok, I mean there’s uh Anya,” Loid reaches out to grab Yor’s hand “but even though I have more experience, it still means something to me Yor, no it wasn’t my first ever kiss, but it was my first kiss with you, our first kiss.”
“It meant something to you too?” Yor grabs his other hand and steps forward.
“Of course, it did, Yor-"
“Anya’s awake!”
Loid and Yor jump apart at Anya’s voice turning towards the hallway.
“Oh! Good morning miss Anya!” Yor exclaims.
“I guess I don’t need to wake her,” Loid says, “Good morning, Anya.” He leaves the kitchen “breakfast is ready, and your Mama is making hot drinks. Let’s go wash our hands before breakfast.”
_
The rest of the morning went by as it usually did, nothing in the routine changing, other than Loid’s fingers brushing Yor’s as he took his cup of coffee from her hand rather than letting her place it on the table, and the glances they steal in-between eating and getting Anya ready for school and themselves ready to work. Even Anya had somehow picked up that there was something a little different today, looking in between Yor and Loid with an interesting expression
_
Yor waves to Anya’s bus as it pulls away.
Loid offers Yor his arm, something he had grown to do over the time they had spent together, they had started just walking side by side whenever they walked together without Anya, but they had later ended up walking with one of Yor’s hands on his offered arm.
Today, however, Yor reaches for his hand instead, walking with their palms pressed together.
It’s new, but after kissing last night Yor feels bold enough to try it, besides it will only solidify their marriage to the public for them to present this closeness.
“Is this, okay?” She asks when no one else is close enough to hear her whisper.
“It’s okay.” Loid confirms, squeezing her hand gently.
They walk in silence for a while longer. It’s as they approach where they usually part to head in different directions to their respective jobs that Loid turns his gaze to her. “I wanted to ask you a question about what happened Yor.”
“Last night?”
He nods, his ears flushing. “How do you feel about continuing that?”
Yor comes to the stop. “Con- continuing that?” Her grip on Loid’s hand tightens as her face burns. What did he mean by continuing, going further than kissing? She had just had her first kiss; she wasn’t ready to have any other firsts.
“Um, Yor.” He flexes his hand and Yor releases her grip, pulling her hand away from him.
Loid looks down at his hand, turning it over and flexing it before he meets her gaze again. “But yes, continuing the kissing?”
“Oh! The kissing!”
Loid offers her his hand again and Yor hopes she didn’t hurt him with her earlier tightening grip, surprised by how willing he is to offer her his hand again. Nonetheless, she places her hand in his again.
“I wondered if last night was just a one-off thing or whether the kisses would become a regular thing.”
“What were your thoughts about it?”
“I kind of assumed they would become regular.”
“They can, if that’s something you want.”
“It… it is, it’s something you want?”
Loid nods and Yor bites her lip, trying to keep her smile contained slightly.
They reach where they usually say goodbye to each other for the morning. Facing each other and linking both their hands with each other.
“Now that we have talked about it, would you like to?”
They kiss each other for the first time in public, however Yor is too focused on Loid to care, wishing each other a good day at work before they part.
Yor heads to work giddy, surprised by herself. Who was this woman? Grabbing Loid’s hand and kissing him in public, and not just for show, genuine displays.
Her co-workers tease her for her excited nature, correctly assuming it was due to Loid, but getting the content of their interaction was incorrect. Yor’s face is on fire as they ask questions about and talk about her husband’s body and performance in a way she has yet to experience and familiarise herself with. And as her co-workers, losing interest in discussing Loid’s body when Yor refuses to offer anything, shift Thier conversation to be more insulting towards Yor again talking about how Loid must just be using her as a babysitter and for sex, she finds that she doesn’t care too much; she knows Loid better than them, anyway.
She spends the day thinking about him and is delighted to see the focus of her thoughts waiting for her out the front of work as her shift ends. After a quick confirmation of permission, he claims how much he missed her before swooping her into a kiss that leaves Yor a little breathless as they part.
The kiss causes her co-workers to gape at them and Yor wonders briefly how this kiss will affect her co-workers' discussions about her relationship.
Her co-workers are soon forgotten about as Loid asks if her day was good and laces his fingers with her own.
She tells him about her day briefly, deciding to emit her co-workers' assumption that they’d had sex the previous night.
Loid tells her that she looks beautiful and Yor tells him that she hopes they can kiss more once they get home.
She laughs as his cheeks flush, and he tugs on her hand. “Well, let’s try to get home quickly so we have a bit of time before Anya gets home.”
She leans over, planting a kiss on his cheek. “Let’s go.”
They head home briskly, laughing as they tug on each other’s hands.
Able to share a few soft kisses on the sofa before Anya gets home, and Yor is sure she will easily get used to this new routine of theirs.
_