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A vast blue sky overlooked a field full of grass, a peaceful feeling about the area. A gentle breeze blew through the hills, and all was quiet and calm…
“WHERE THE HECK AM I?!”
Or. Maybe not.
Off to the side, a small, brown, rounded figure lay in the grass, slowly waking up. The breeze, despite being soft, chilled him to the bone. He wasn’t very good in windy, wide open spaces and that wasn’t due to his occupation alone. He also felt that someone had knocked him out pretty good because it was otherwise very comfortable laying on the grass. There he was, zoned out, and only someone screaming made him open his eyes to the new world above.
“What…” his words trailed off slightly as he forced himself to sit up. The bright daylight made his eyes hurt a bit. “...what’s going on?”
Also close by, a green and blue ball with brown dog features on it got up from laying down, confused on where he was. He shivered as the light breeze brushed against his fur, where was this strange place?
"What is this…?" he mumbled.
The ball looked around and immediately noticed two things: what looked like a sort of green, plant-like object yelling angrily, and a brown colored tadpole nearby. The tadpole was otherwise normal if not for the object-like limbs it had. Regardless, he looked like he hadn’t figured out what was going on either, and the plant was just…mad, screaming at seemingly nothing for…whatever reason. The tadpole on the other hand was still waking up a little, though he glanced around the nearby area as well. Everything was blurry and weird, and he still couldn’t determine if it was a dream or not. Sure was a loud dream if it was one, though.
A headache was making itself known to the small amphibian, making it hard to take in his surroundings. Unfortunately, an adventuring rogue like him wasn't known to carry any medicine so he’d have to wait for it to go away. The idea of being so dazed was a bit frightening; he needed to be alert at all times of the day!
Especially that noise, what was that? Were they cries of help? People just screaming because they wanted to? Was it Screaming at your Neighbor Day? One of the places he’s seen had that holiday; he didn’t know why despite asking around. That place was crossed off his map for that one holiday.
“Can… can you guys just… take it down a few notches…?” the Tadpole spoke up, still a little groggy.
The dog-ball hybrid perked up at the tadpole’s voice, though he noticed the plant stop mid shout, whirl around to face the tadpole, and then shout “YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” before going back to yell at the sky.
‘What a mean dude,’ the ball thought, flinching at the plant's tone.
He turned back around to look at Tadpole with a concerned look, tilting his head a little before turning back around to the yelling plant. Maybe the guy could be talked out of yelling? He slowly approached the dude, ignoring his shouts as best he could.
“...TAKEN AWAY?! IS THIS SOME SORT OF STUPID JOKE?!” the plant shouted, having not noticed the other object approach from behind him.
The dog-ball hybrid took in a deep breath before putting on the most intimidating expression he could muster, anger fueled by the plant’s bothersome presence.
"Hey, dude! Do you think you could just,…oh, I dunno…be QUIET FOR ONCE!?" he shouted, albeit a little aggressively.
He had a bit of an annoyed expression more than anything, but frankly he was tired of the noise and just wanted some peace to figure this whole situation out. The plant whirled around to see what looked like a green and blue ball with brown dog features on it slightly snarling at him. At their half-request, half-threat that he be quiet, he turned around and glared at them.
“Tch. You act like this whole situation is the most normal thing in the world,” he muttered with a grumpy huff, though it was very clear that the intimidation attempt had gotten him to quiet down a little.
The tadpole was assessing the situation he was in. He had a headache, he didn’t know where he was, there were strangers around him, and one of them just scared the loud one into quieting down by being…louder.
Woof. That was a lot to take in. (no pun intended)
It was about time to get off the ground, headache or no headache. Nothing was going to get solved by just sitting here in pain.
“Alrighty!” he spoke up.
The tired tadpole walked over to both the ball and the plant.
“Looks like we got some… fighting going on, I see,” he said, smiling politely to show that he was a friend rather than someone else to be afraid of. “Fighting isn’t good, I mean in this case specifically! Let’s try to get along a little better, after all, I don’t think I’m the only one that’s confused about… literally everything that’s going on right now, right?”
The plant just looked at the tadpole with mild annoyance, already disliking the situation at hand. Sure, he…made a good point or whatever, but this plant was a stubborn man. Instead of a reply, he simply just let out a huff and shrugged, maybe with an eye roll or so. The dog-ball hybrid on the other hand looked at the tadpole, now a bit embarrassed. He was right about the whole fighting thing.
"Sorry Mate…" he said, his ears flattening to the side.
The tadpole weakly laughed in response. One was apologetic and the other not so much.
‘Bit of a tough crowd, I guess,’ he thought to himself.
What mattered was that they all quieted down, and now they could get back to business! Still, he had no clue who these two are in the first place, and he was sure they didn’t know about him either. He supposed he would have to take initiative in that case…
“It’s alright! The name’s Tadpole, and it’s very nice to meet you two! By any chance, are you both adventurers?” Tadpole asked, hoping he could get at least some help with this…odd situation.
“You say that like you expect me to say yes,” the plant scoffed, without giving a name. “All I know is that I was dropped here, and…what, were you guys not? Either way, I’m not interested in teamin’ with some…”weaklings” if that’s what you’re going for.”
Tadpole got the feeling the plant was mildly salty about being shut up earlier, but…he had a feeling there was a bit more to it. He had a feeling some persuasion would otherwise get the plant to actually loosen up and form a team with him, but he decided not to push it.
The dog-ball hybrid on the other hand looked over at the plant after that statement. Of course, typical “tough guy” behavior or whatever. It was probably going to take a while for someone like him to soften up. Tadpole seemed nice however, and he wouldn’t mind adventuring with him.
"Oh I guess I never introduced myself, heh! In that case, top of the morning to ya laddies, I'm Doggy Ball!” he said cheerfully. “I’ve never been anywhere except “The Creek”, which is my favorite place! I’d be down for teaming up, but I’m not so sure about Mr. Tough guy…"
Doggy Ball’s tail wagged slightly after that.
“Y’all weird, I’ve literally never heard of ANY of these places….and I don’t care either,” the plant huffed in response, shortly before looking elsewhere.
They glanced around, finding nothing but grass, an open sky, some spare trees, all that. No signs of any other objects around, or creatures, for that matter. Honestly, anything would be more interesting than these two…
Ignoring the plant guy, Tadpole really liked Doggy Ball’s attitude, as it seemed the half canine had the better temperament in all of this. Even if he’d never gone on an adventure before, he was still willing to give it a shot! Now, he didn’t want to brag or anything, but he believed himself to be pretty good at the adventuring business.
“Now that’s some adventurous spirit that you got!” he told the ball proudly, “you could really make a big name for yourself out there, go and make the world your oyster! And I’d be more than happy to work with you and show you the ropes!” Tadpole said excitedly, already more than willing to show off his rogue skills to these strangers.
“Or,” the plant interjected, “You could just brute force your way through everything.”
The plant quickly went up to Tadpole and reeled back his leg. “Like this-”
Before either of the other two objects could say anything, he swung his leg forward as hard as he could, kicking Tadpole as hard as his leg would let him. Doggy Ball witnessed in absolute shock as Tadpole went flying into the nearby trees, screaming as the sheer force of the plant guy’s kick sent a shockwave rippling through the place.
After a few seconds of silence, the plant spoke up.
“Oh. I didn’t actually…think it’d…whatever.”
He then lowered his leg and began to walk off in the direction Tadpole went. Doggy Ball couldn’t tell if he was doing it because he was genuinely sorry (and/or concerned over the fact he might’ve killed a man), or…if it was because he planned on doing it again. Either way, what he’d just done was pretty scummy.
"NOW WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!” Doggy Ball hollered angrily. “DO YOU REALIZE HOW HURT HE MUST BE?!"
He sighed, just to catch a breather. Doggy Ball honestly just couldn't believe what had just happened, he didn't think the plant guy would actually do that. And just as things were going well too…
"You know I'm REALLY disappointed in you Mate…I really am. Next time you do that, I’ll…nevermind,” Doggy Ball huffed.
The plant just shrugged off the statement as he looked for Tadpole, wandering deeper into the forest. As much as he wanted to turn around and tell the shorter ball object to shut up, he was tired, and figured that it wasn’t worth bothering with a fight. That being said, he hadn’t found Tadpole anywhere so far. Doggy Ball listened as carefully as he could for any signs of movement, even sniffing the air for a pond-like scent. Alas, he too found nothing.
------
Tadpole had gotten up after crashing into the forest’s foliage, having taken some damage from being kicked so hard. Looking around, all he could see were trees and greenery, with no signs of anything that would otherwise stick out…like another object, or a noise. Tadpole looked around a bit more, still slightly aching a bit from the kick. He could hear…something…in the distance that sounded like leaves moving around, as if another being was approaching. Perhaps he could investigate?
Tadpole hesitantly walked towards the area the noise was coming from, unsure if it was the two he met earlier or something else. As he made his way past the bushes, he could see…what appeared to be 3 small mound-like creatures wandering around the space in front of him. They were semi-transparent, and the second he made the noise of parting the bushes, all of them turned to stare at him. Of course, he’d been stared at before, but the past experiences never made it any less uncomfortable.
This whole day has been so undeniably freaky as well, he’d already been literally kicked into who knows where by someone he just barely met, AND tried to be courteous with. Perhaps this was the sign to ditch the two and make a break for it, rogue style, but it felt bad to entertain that idea. He couldn’t pinpoint why; maybe it was that Doggy Ball fellow, he was too reasonable to simply ditch. The plant on the other hand…well…maybe the guy just needed some time. Though that meant finding his way back, and Tadpole still had no clue where he was.
Maybe whatever these things were could talk, and more importantly, give him directions on where to go? He flashed a friendly smile to the creatures in addition to a little wave.
“I’m a bit… lost,” he said, cutting right to the chase. “Do any of you happen to know how I get out of this weird forest? It’d be much appreciated!”
He really hoped they could talk or else it’d be weird and kind of awkward. The creatures looked at him for a moment before looking at each other. They then seemed to begin to discuss something amongst each other in some sort of warbly gibberish, shortly before one of them pulled out a strange looking rock carved with some sort of symbol on it. If that wasn’t weird enough already, they THEN started speaking into it like a phone.
"⍑ᒷꖎꖎ𝙹?"
"⍑ᒷ||, ∴⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ᓭ ⚍!¡?"
"╎ リᒷᒷ↸ ||𝙹⚍∷ ⍑ᒷꖎ!¡, ᓵᔑリ ||𝙹⚍ ᓵ𝙹ᒲᒷ ⍑ᒷ∷ᒷ?"
"∴ᒷꖎꖎ ╎ ᓵᔑリℸ ̣ , ╎'ᒲ ʖ⚍||╎リ⊣ ᓵꖎ𝙹ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷᓭ"
"ᔑꖎ∷╎⊣⍑ℸ ̣ ∴ᒷꖎꖎ ⍑⚍∷∷|| ⚍!¡ ᔑリ↸ ᓵ𝙹ᒲᒷ 𝙹⍊ᒷ∷ ⍑ᒷ∷ᒷ"
"∴ᒷꖎꖎ ╎ ᓵᔑリℸ ̣ ⎓╎リ↸ ᒷᒲ"
"∴⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ↸𝙹 ||𝙹⚍ ᒲᒷᔑリ ||𝙹⚍ ᓵᔑ-"
Needless to say, Tadpole sadly could not understand them.
-------
Meanwhile, the other two were still hopelessly lost. The plant guy had no luck picking out Tadpole’s brown coloration against the greens and browns of the forest, while Doggy Ball just kept scowling and muttering things. He started going up to the nearby trees to try and sniff Tadpole out, but with no luck. Some of the tree bark was a little rough, which earned him a few scars on the nose, but it wasn’t the first time that had happened. He looked over at the plant guy, who at this point was just carelessly glancing around instead of actually trying to look. The stupid plant object probably didn't even care about what was going on.
"UGH! I'm tired of these dead ends!” Doggy Ball exclaimed angrily. “We aren't getting anywhere, do you have any ideas?"
“Oh, so the supposed “strong one” ’s getting lost now too, huh,” the plant guy chuckled. “Please. If I had any other ideas I’d be actin’ on it right n-”
He quickly cut himself off however, and paused as if thinking about something.
“That does remind me. There is…one thing I don’t quite think I’ve…”
He paused again. Doggy Ball immediately leapt away as the plant object inhaled, covering his ears while anticipating a kick…only to hear a muffled shout instead.
“TADPOLE!!! WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?!” the plant object hollered at the top of his lungs.
He waited for a response, and upon getting none, attempted to shout again.
“I KNOW YOU’RE IN HERE SOMEWHERE!!”
Again, no response. The plant guy paused, making sure Doggy Ball’s ears were still shut so he didn’t hear what was coming next, and then sighed.
“Alright, if that’s the case, then we’ll do one more thing.”
Inhale.
“I’M GAY!!”
------
Tadpole was just minding his own business when he suddenly heard a familiar voice penetrate through the forest’s trees.
“I’M GAY!!”
Tadpole looked up at the sound of the shout before trying to see if he could head towards the area it came from. He didn’t bother looking behind him to see what the creatures were up to, all he wanted to do at the moment was get out of here. It surprisingly didn’t take him too long to find the other two objects either, as Doggy Ball’s bright green and blue stood out amongst the forest’s foliage. His ears were currently lowered, though Tadpole reasoned it was because he’d been close to the plant guy’s shouting. Speaking of said guy, they seemed to notice Tadpole approaching them almost immediately.
“Alright, there he is, dude. See? Not dead,” he told Doggy Ball. “We’re fine, and…oh, does he have animal friends now or something? What is he, a Disney princess?”
"Sweet Jeez, nobody died… be more careful when you kick people next time…” Doggy Ball sighed, relieved that Tadpole was okay. “Or just don't kick anyone.”
“Hey, I didn’t think it’d actually wor-eh, whatever,” the plant guy retorted.
“I can’t help but agree with Doggy Ball here,” Tadpole said with a bit of annoyance, “Kicking someone isn’t a proper way to say hello!”
Although he felt a bit relieved that he found them, landing in some random part of a forest while having a headache at the same time was something that he’d prefer to never do again. In fact, Tadpole was more focused on finding these two that he didn’t think he had been followed! Usually things like that didn’t slip his mind so easily, but again, the kicking kind of threw him off his game today.
“Animal friends? I don’t have pets,” Tadpole said, before turning around.
Apparently the creatures he had asked for directions were actually here, with him!
“Oh, them? I, uh, I asked them for directions. Turns out they’re foreign or something because I didn’t get a word they said,” Tadpole shrugged sheepishly. “Sorry! Maybe they wanted to make sure I came here…safely…?”
The plant guy looked over at the creatures, shortly before looking back at Tadpole.
“At least you’re not dead, or whatever. I don’t know what those things are, nor do I understand them, but as a being of anger myself, I can tell that they don’t exactly seem…pleased. I dunno what you did to them, unless they’re just easily offended,” he said with a shrug.
Doggy Ball also looked at the weird, transparent creatures. They sure weren’t ghosts, that was almost for certain. But they did look…familiar? Mostly from trying to piece things together, he concluded that the closest thing they resembled was jell-o or gelatin, so they therefore must be some sort of slime-like creature.
"These creatures look familiar, but I can't quite pinpoint why!" he exclaimed. “I think they’re…slimes?”
He squinted his eyes and took one step closer, even giving a little sniff to see if that would help. Unfortunately, not only did the slimes not smell like anything, but they ALSO seemed offended by the gesture, and immediately leapt towards the trio to attack! Luckily, Doggy Ball was quick on his feet, and after dodging one of the slimes, lunged at it with his jaws open.
Unfortunately, one of the other slimes rammed into him before he could bite down on his target. He flew backwards into a sharp branch on the ground, giving him a cut across his muzzle.
"DANGIT! These things are strong!" he snarled.
But he didn’t let that stop him. He quickly turned around and bit the slime that attacked him, crushing it under his jaws until it exploded into a bunch of small, harmless beads. Despite his clear show of strength, the other slimes seem unphased by this, and continued their attack towards the others.
“Oh… So they aren't friendly?! What a disappointment!” Tadpole exclaimed with a sigh.
And here he thought they were kind of funny looking but in a totally charming way! But as soon as these slimes started throwing hands (did they even have hands?), all bets were off the table. Then again, what kind of rogue would he be if he never got into a scuffle?
“Alright, let’s make this quick!” he said with a smile before pulling out a dagger from a belt he wore around himself.
All good rogues had a trusty dagger in their toolkit. He wished his dagger had a cool backstory like being a family heirloom entrusted to him by his father and was responsible for slaying a world ending dragon in the year 1894, but no. He actually found his dagger in the street and picked it up. He also called his dagger “Martha” because Martha is a wonderful name for a wonderful lady. Tadpole gracefully hopped towards one of the slimes with Martha firmly in his hand, slashing at it with a sense of mastery.
The slime Tadpole targeted didn't die as the blade ran through it, but it looked greatly weakened from the attack. It tried to body slam him in retaliation, but Tadpole swiftly managed to dodge out of the way in time. These guys really decided to mess with the wrong creature! The other slime that wasn’t dead however, lunged at Doggy Ball to avenge its fallen comrade, tackling the guy and slamming him into the ground.
The plant guy, quite frankly fed up with all this mess, rushes over towards the slime that targeted Doggy Ball (seeing as Tadpole had the other one) and reeled back his arm before sending his fist straight for the gelatinous blob. The second it made contact with the slime, it practically exploded into thousands of tiny transparent droplets from the sheer force of the impact alone. Doggy Ball on the other hand, having been injured in the fight, backed away as the slime was destroyed in front of him. The plant guy said nothing to Dogy Ball as he shook his hand a little from the punch, then turned to look at Tadpole and his slime fight.
Tadpole was currently trying to slash once more at the slime, though he was finding himself missing more often than not. Maybe it was under the pressure of the fight, or just looking cool in general, maybe the first direct hit had riled him up so much he couldn’t focus, but whatever the case was…he felt like his ego had deflated in an instant. He wanted to pull a rogue moment and disappear into the night immediately as Martha’s blade only cut through the air, the slime still intact.
The plant guy let out a bit of a snicker at the miss, though he held it back so it only sounded like a quiet snort. The slime heard him though, and leapt over to attack him in his somewhat distracted state. It actually managed to ram itself into his body and stick there, completely disregarding his otherwise slightly spiky nature. The plant guy immediately panicked at this, and proceeded to wildly swing his arms about in an attempt to get the slime off.
“Hey! Where are you going?!” Tadpole exclaimed as the slime left him.
How dare his target go after someone else when he was right here! Did they not have something personal between them? Was it because of the miss, did they not consider him a worthy enough foe? He swore he didn’t do that often! Either way, he was too flustered to come up with anything witty to say to the slime.
Whatever! If the slime didn’t care then neither did he! Tadpole ran up to the slime, still stuck onto the plant guy’s face, and let loose one last slash…he supposed he could call it a “backstab” if it weren’t for the fact he was a little irritated at the moment. Regardless, the slime still exploded into beads in front of him, leaving a gasping plant object in its place. The guy took a second to realize that he was no longer being suffocated by a living jelly blob, then gathered himself together before coughing a little.
“Alright…..alright….” he huffed, trying to come to terms with the fact that…well…what had just happened indeed happened and was absolutely not a dream.
He looked over at Doggy Ball for a few seconds, before glancing back at Tadpole.
“...What.”
Tadpole flicked off the remaining jelly, slime, what have you, off of his dagger before putting it away. Quite frankly, he was surprised that the slimes picked a fight with them…but the fight itself still felt like a regular Tuesday.
“What? You don't battle with random creatures?” he said towards the plant, shortly before remembering he wasn’t an adventurer from this world.
“...Do other objects count?” the plant guy replied, with a small grin.
Tadpole looked very unamused, though he wasn’t sure if the plant guy was joking or not. Either way, it didn’t matter, why was he not surprised? At least they won…
“Uh… Good fight everyone! We worked together, uh, well enough! I’d give it a B for effort though!” he said, realizing effort didn’t start with B and ignoring the fact.
The plant guy muttered something under his breath that wasn’t audible in response, sounding mildly irritated while he was at it. Doggy Ball on the other hand let out a heavy sigh as he looked at the dead slimes. What a fight…
"Thank god those things are dead, who knows how much longer those things would've lasted…” he sighed. “But now my mouth has a gross taste in it, yuck…"
He blew a raspberry trying to get the remaining slime ooze off his tongue. Hopefully the rest of the taste would go away over time.
“Oh, by the way…I don’t think I ever got your name!” Tadpole said, turning to look at the plant-like object. “What was it, again?”
“....tch.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Artichoke.”
“Oh! Well, nice to meet you, Artichoke!” Tadpole smiled warmly, holding out his hand.
“Nuh-uh. No friendsy things,” Artichoke said with a glare, causing Tadpole to retract his hand.
“O-okay! That’s fine too!”
The group took a few more minutes to recover from what had happened, with no other slimes appearing from the bushes. It was oddly quiet, and it would’ve been peaceful if not for the fact that the group now knew they had to fight off whatever attacked them. After some more time had passed with none of them saying anything, one of them finally spoke up.
“Well now what are we supposed to do, find a village or something?!” Artichoke exclaimed. “We’re literally in the middle of nowhere with no food or water, we’re hopelessly lost, and if we don’t do something soon we might as well die out here!”
The group went quiet as they began trying to think of ways out. Surrounded by trees, none of the scenery around them looked familiar. Artichoke suddenly gasped before reeling back his leg with a gleam in his eye, the other two screaming as soon as they realized what was about to happen.
“ARTICHOKE N O -”
The End :]