Work Text:
“Hey,” Bill pounced on the empty stool next to the girl who had caught her eye. “Buy you an appetizer?” The other woman raised her eyebrow. “Didn’t want you to think I’m trying to get you drunk. And I apparently express my love through food.” Bill said all this through an irrepressible grin that she hoped wouldn’t come across as too corny or weird. (Please let me not come across as too corny or weird!)
“Not the strangest pickup line anyone’s given me,” the stranger noted. “Heather, by the way.”
“Bill. So, uh, what was the strangest pickup line you’ve ever received?”
Double eye roll. “Christ, so many. Lots of shitty star puns, so good shout clearing that hurdle.”
“Seemed a little obvious. Besides, I never pun before a third date.” Bill’s smile somehow widened at the sound of Heather’s giggle - and the cracks in her reserve.
“I once–” Heather paused, and glanced around the pub. “I once had this really snooty a capella guy blow on his pitch pipe and then sing - sing! - ‘hey babe, want to wet my whistle?’”
Bill gaped. “He didn’t!”
“He assuredly did.” Heather sighed. “Is it any wonder that awful cliches like ‘can I buy you a drink?’ or ‘is this seat taken?’ stick around?”
Bill snorted. “Yeah, what was that line I saw? If the weather didn’t change, 90 percent of us couldn’t start a conversation?” She reveled in the fresh chuckle from Heather.
“Hey,” the blonde leaned forward. “You wanna get out of here? I feel like I’ve been sitting still too long. Maybe go for a walk? Get those mozzarella sticks to go?” Bill just smiled and flagged down the bartender.