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Beatrice is drunk. She is very, very drunk. She doesn't usually let go like this, she doesn't usually do anything that prevents her from being in complete and total control. It’s not in her nature. She can’t allow it, normally. There’s too much at stake. Bad things happen when she lets go, Beatrice knows, and usually she does anything within her power from letting that happen. But tonight she just doesn't care. Tonight she wants to drink and dance and have fun. Tonight she really wants to be with Ava. She’s going to let herself have this. Tonight she deserves this. She deserves to have a good time with a beautiful girl.
Ava is just as intoxicating as the drinks are. Beatrice can't get enough of her. Ava drives her crazy, yes, but she still wants her. She craves her, really. She thinks she loves her, even. So she dances with Ava and she wants to touch her, kiss her. She wants to be one with her.
Ava is everything Beatrice denied herself. Ava is everything she thought she could never have, could never be. She is everything people told Beatrice to not be. And Beatrice usually cares so much about that. But not tonight. No. Tonight she doesn't care about anything. She just wants pleasure and fun. She just wants to keep dancing with Ava like nothing bad could ever happen.
She really, really wants to kiss Ava. She wonders what Ava's lips feel like. She wonders if Ava is a good kisser. She's had more practice than Beatrice by now. Beatrice thinks she would be good at it, that Ava would make it feel nice. She wonders if she can just ask Ava to kiss her. She wonders if maybe she can just lean in and take it to the next level. Beatrice has never wanted anything more in her life. There's no one else she would lose control for, there's no one else she would ignore her duties for. Ava is special. Clearly.
Sometimes Beatrice wonders if Ava was chosen by God. If they met each other on purpose. She never lets herself dwell on it too much. It doesn't do to have such fantasies. Tonight, tonight she really doesn't care. She wants to have all these fantasies. She wants all of her fantasies to be real. She needs them to be real, to be honest. She has never wanted anything more than she wants Ava tonight.
She needs Ava to reach out and touch her. She needs her to kiss her, to want her, to have her in every way possible. Beatrice would give anything for her. She would. Please, she thinks. Please, Ava. Give me what I need, Beatrice thinks. Please.
Ava is smiling at her and dancing and she's so incredibly beautiful. She looks so carefree. She looks so wonderful.
Ava leans in like she’s reading Beatrice's mind and she presses their lips together on the middle of the dancefloor. It's so exhilarating. Beatrice has been terrified all her life but now she's just happy. She returns Ava's kiss. It's good. Beatrice knew it would be. She wants to keep doing this. She doesn't want this night to ever end. She can't bear the thought of going back to duties, fights and ancient secrets. She just wants to keep kissing Ava.
As long as they stay here, she thinks, everything will be alright. As long as they stay here they don't have to get back to the real world, to their real lives. As long as they stay here she can keep feeling Ava's lips against hers.
Please God, Beatrice thinks. Let me have this. Please let me have this. I need this. I need her, she thinks. Beatrice needs Ava and she thinks Ava needs her too. They are good together.
In another life, a life without warrior nuns and false prophets, maybe they could be together properly. They could be good. They could be happy.
They do not have another life. They just have this life. It's okay. Maybe eventually they get to be happy in this life, too. Beatrice is happy now. She's drunk. Very drunk. But also very happy. She’s also very much still kissing Ava. It seems that neither of them can stop locking lips. They both need this, clearly.
Even if this doesn’t last beyond tonight… Even then, they still have tonight. They still have this. Beatrice knows the memory will sustain her. When they are back to work, back to duty and solving this mess, this memory will sustain her. It will be a light in the dark and it will be beautiful. It will soothe Beatrice during the hard nights. She hopes it will soothe Ava, too.
Beatrice kisses Ava again. She’s letting herself have this. She’s determined to enjoy every second of it. And it’s easy to enjoy something so good and pure. It’s easy to enjoy something so incredibly thrilling. It’s also very easy to enjoy Ava. Ava and her dancing, Ava and her beautiful smile. Easy to just enjoy Ava being herself. Tonight Ava is driving Beatrice crazy in the best way possible. She wants more. So much more. But she’ll take tonight. No one can take that from her, at least. So she kisses Ava again. She will keep kissing Ava for as long as Ava will let her. It looks like neither of them is getting tired any time soon tonight. They just keep dancing and kissing and drinking until they can’t anymore.
And Beatrice knows that when they leave the bar, the real world will come crashing back in. All of this will be over. She doesn’t want this to be over. Still all good things must come to an end. She knows that, too.
She and Ava share one final kiss before they get out of the bar. Their lips linger. They are both reluctant to let go.
“This doesn’t end here,” Ava says.
Beatrice wants to believe in that, she does. She hopes it is true. She really wants to kiss Ava again.