Work Text:
Kaz wakes to an ear-piercing scream. Then a rush of panic finds him, and he doesn't bother to grab his cane or gloves before sprinting as fast as he could to his daughters room.
No, no, no, no, please. Let her be safe.
Was it Rollins? Had he come back for vengeance? Or what if it was a Black Tip, what if he had become reckless?
Kaz had taken every precaution, so he knew it was impossible, but the terror that it was one of his enemies was still clear in his mind. Kaz didnt believe in any saint, but he was prepared to pray to them now.
"Anastasia!" Kaz gasped as he skitted into her room.
The girl was trembling, tears pouring down her face. Kaz's heart snapped.
Kaz was by her side in an instant. He sat beside her, and wrapped Anastasia tightly in his arms. Kaz let the girl cry into his chest for a long moment, stroking her dark hair and barley managing not to recoil at the touch.
"What happened?" Kaz whispered, trying to summon all the gentleness and comforting touches Inej managed. Kaz had never been good at comfort, even when it came to his own child, but the least he could do was try. For Anastasia's sake.
The child took a shuddering breath, her coffee colored eyes wide and tear-filled. Anastasia curled tighter into her father, hiccuping and still crying hysterically.
Anastasia scrambled to get closer to her father, clawing desperately at his chest. Kaz didn't bother to push her off, only held her closer, as his fatherly instincts demand, despite everything else shrieking for him to let go and hurl up his dinner.
"Ana," he tried, pushing away the bile at the back of the his throat, "Ana, look at me."
Kaz took her face in a gentle grip, making his daughter look him in the eyes, forcing himself not to flinch away.
Anastasia was shaking like a leaf, looking at her father with terror in her dark eyes. Kaz's heart broke once again.
"What happened, dearest?"
The nick-name felt odd on his tounge, but it was what Inej would've said, so Kaz went with it.
"N-ightm-mar-e," Anastasia stumbled, flinging herself deeper into her fathers arms.
Kaz softened, "You wanna tell me what it's about?"
Anastasia was still terrified, though her sobs were beginning to quiet.
"Someone did something bad to you and mama."
Kaz's blood froze.
"It was so scary, papa," the child cried, "I don't wanna lose you or mama."
"You won't," Kaz said softly, "I promise. I'm still here. Mama is safe too."
"Where is she!? I want mama!"
Kaz sighed, "Mama is at sea, darling. She's fighting the bad people. No one can hurt her and would never even try."
Anastasia sniffled, slowly coming down from her nightmare.
"What about you? You said people are scared of you and mama, but why?"
Kaz stiffened.
"You're too young to know," be responded quickly, "But the point is, no one can hurt us. Or you. You're safe, alright?"
Anastasia relaxed against her father, exhaustion catching up with her rapidly. Kaz, however, remained tense, unable to relax while she may still be in distress.
"Papa?"
"Yes, dear?"
"Can I stay with you tonight?"
Kaz thought for a moment. Anastasia's eyes shined with unshed tears, and Kaz felt himself giving in.
"Please?"
"Fine," Kaz mumbled, picking her up in one swift motion. He tried to move down the hall as quickly as he could so he could set Anastasia down and put his gloves on.
Anastasia wrapped her arms around his neck, legs around his waist. Kaz wanted to hold her forever and puke at the same time. His limp worsened in protested to his heavy strides.
"Papa, why do you limp?"
Kaz pressed a hand to the back of her head, "I broke it when I was younger."
"How?" Anastasia asked as Kaz reached his and Inej's room.
"That's a story for another day."
Kaz sat her down on the bed, hoping he didn't seem too eager to have Anastasia leave his arms.
"Papa's gonna go to the bathroom," said Kaz, holding down the bile, "I'll be back in a moment."
Kaz rushed to the bathroom, hardly closing the door before hurling up the contents in his stomach.
He heaved, breath shaky.
Kaz moved to the sink and washed his mouth out as best he could. He hoped Anastasia hadn't heard him. Kaz didn't want her to think it was her fault. It wasn't any fault of hers that her father was broken.
Kaz went back to his bedroom, finding Anastasia curled under his sheets and looking up at him with worried eyes.
"Papa," she whispered, "Did you vomit?" Fuck. Kaz swallowed, nodded. "Yeah, I did."
"Was it cause of the touch?" Kaz nodded slightly, climbing into bed beside her, "Yes."
Anastasia leaned against her father somewhat reluctantly. "I'm sorry."
Kaz reached for his gloves as discretely as he could. "You don't have to be. It's not your fault."
Anastasia chewed her bottom lip, gazing at Kaz's newly gloved hands. "Why do you where gloves, papa? Is it cause you don't like touch?"
Kaz wrapped an arm around Anastasia. "Yes. It is."
"Is it my fault?"
"Absolutely not. It happened a very long time ago," Kaz prepared himself to be vulnerable, "But it still scares papa. It still hurts. A lot happened when I was young."
Anastasia laid her head in Kaz's lap, gazing at nothing. "Will that thing ever happen to me, papa?"
Kaz froze. His breathing stilled. "No, never. Not if I can help it."
Kaz felt Anastasia slipping away, her body falling limp against his legs. Kaz threaded a hand through her loose hair, scooped her into his arms.
Anastasia pressed her head against Kaz's chest again, dark eyes closing. Kaz allowed himself to relax.
"When will mama be home?" Her voice was soft and scratchy.
"Just a couple more days darling," Kaz said sleepily, "Go to sleep now." Anastasia was already asleep in his arms.