Chapter Text
Number 12 Grimmauld Place
As Harry read the words on the scrap of parchment, the town-houses in front of him started to move, stretching apart to reveal the presence of another building. It was darker than the surrounding houses, giving off an aura that reminded Harry of the Hogwart’s dungeons. He shivered slightly, the dungeons did not bring good memories and this might not be preferable to the Dursleys’, especially if he was to be expelled soon.
A nudge in Harry’s back sent him stumbling forward to the door and he followed the bright haired Tonks into the gloomy interior. Darkness engulfed him, and Harry went to draw his wand, freezing as he felt Tonks fall in front of him.
“FILTH AND TRAITORS, MUDBLOODS AND THIEVES” Curtains flew back revealing a the haggard face of an aristocratic looking witch. “HOW DARE YOU DEFILE THIS NOBEL HOUSE!”
The hallway came to life, several doors opening revealing the Weasley family plus a few unfamiliar faces as they came to investigate the disturbance.
“Tonks!”
“BEGONE AND TAINT THIS HOUSE NO MORE...”
“Sorry Mrs Weasley, the troll leg just came out of nowhere” Tonks sheepishly said trying to right an ugly grey thing, that Harry assumed to be the troll leg, stuffing an umbrella back into it before turning and wrestling the curtains back over the portrait. Mrs Weasley ignored her, rounding on Harry and smothering him in a hug. Harry stiffened, waiting it out, experience having shown him that struggling just made her hold on longer.
“Oh Harry, you are looking so well” She exclaimed, and Harry barely avoided rolling his eyes. He knew for a fact that after nearly a month at the Dursleys’ he looked anything but well, but he let the comment slide knowing it was how she greeted everyone. “You must be starving! Dinner is nearly ready, so why don’t you go up to your room and set your things down. You are with Ron, first floor, second door on the left.”
Harry felt himself pushed towards the stairs, and dragged his trunk and broom with him, carefully navigating the narrow stairwell and rickety steps. As he reached the first floor, the door burst open and a familiar voice screeched at him engulfing him in a hug.
“HARRY! Ron, Harry’s here! Oh how are you, are you all right? We heard about the attack! I cant believe they tried to expel you for that. I looked up the laws, they have no right to expel you, there is a provision in the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Sorcery regarding the use of magic in life threatening situations and...”
“Let him breathe, Hermione,” said Ron, grinning, pulling them both into the room and closing the door behind them. Hermione, still beaming, let go of Harry, but before she could say another word there was a soft hoo-ing sound and something white soared from the top of the curtain rail and landed gently on Harry’s shoulder.
“Hedwig!” The snowy owl nibbled his ear affectionately as Harry stroked her feathers relieved that his beloved familiar had made it safely back to him.
“She’s been in a right state,” said Ron. “Pecked us half to death when she brought your last letters, look at this!” He showed Harry the index finger of his right hand, which sported a half-healed but clearly deep cut.
“Oh yeah,” Harry said. “Sorry about that, but I wanted answers, you know.”
“We wanted to give them to you, mate,” said Ron. “Hermione was going spare, she kept saying you’d do something stupid if you were stuck all on your own without news, but Dumbledore made us...”
“Swear not to tell me,” said Harry bitterly. “Yeah, I get it.” The warm glow that had flared inside him at the sight of his two best friends was extinguished as something icy flooded the pit of his stomach. All of a sudden he felt he would rather Ron and Hermione left him alone. There was a strained silence in which Harry stroked Hedwig automatically, not looking at either of his best friends. Instead Harry took the time to look round the room, which seemed as dreary as the rest of the house. The two rickety rusty iron bed frames held lumpy mattresses and moth eaten blankets, which while an improvement on the too small cot he had at the Dursleys’ was still far from his comfortable Hogwarts bed. The only other furniture was a worn down dresser on top of which hung a blank picture frame.
“He seemed to think it was best,” said Hermione earnestly her voice wavering slight;y. “Dumbledore, I mean.”
“Right,” said Harry not in the mood to hear her empty excuses.
“I think he thought you were safest with the Muggles ” Ron began.
“Yeah?” said Harry, raising his eyebrows. “Have either of you been attacked by dementors this summer?”
“Well, no, but that’s why he’s had people from the Order of the Phoenix tailing you all the time” Harry felt a his stomach coil in anger. So everyone had known he was being followed except him.
“Didn’t work that well, though, did it?” said Harry, doing his utmost to keep his voice even. “Had to look after myself after all, didn’t I?”
“He was so angry,” said Hermione in an almost awestruck voice, coming to sit beside him on the lumpy mattress. “Dumbledore I mean. We saw him. When he found out Mundungus had left before his shift had ended. He was scary.”
“Well, I’m glad he left,” Harry said coldly. “If he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have done magic and Dumbledore would probably have left me at Privet Drive all summer.”
“Aren’t you... aren’t you worried about the Ministry of Magic hearing?” Hermione asked quietly reaching out a hand tentatively onto his shoulder.
“No,” Harry lied defiantly standing and walking to lean against the chest of drawers, getting away from them. “So why has Dumbledore been so keen to keep me in the dark? Did you, uh, bother to ask him at all?” He fought to keep his voice casual, glancing up just in time to see them exchanging a look that told him he was behaving just as they had feared he would. It did nothing to improve his temper.
“We told Dumbledore we wanted to tell you what was going on,” said Ron. “We did, mate. But he’s really busy now, we’ve only seen him twice since we came here and he didn’t have much time, he just made us swear not to write, he said the owls might be intercepted.”
“He could’ve still kept me informed if he’d wanted to,” Harry said shortly. “You’re not telling me he doesn’t know ways to send messages without owls.” Hermione glanced at Ron and then said;
“I thought that too. But he didn’t want you to know anything.”
“Maybe he thinks I can’t be trusted,” said Harry, watching their expressions. “Clearly not or I would have been allowed to receive at least one letter this summer.”
“Don’t be thick,” said Ron, looking highly disconcerted.
“Or that I can’t take care of myself?” Harry continued with a glare.
“Of course he doesn’t think that!” said Hermione anxiously.
“So how come I have to stay at the Dursleys’ while you two get to join in everything that’s going on here?” said Harry, the words tumbling over one another in a rush, his voice growing louder with every word. “How come you two are allowed to know everything that’s going on? Why couldn’t you spare me one line to let me know that you were safe?”
“We’re not!” Ron interrupted. “Mum won’t let us near the meetings, she says we’re too young.” But before he knew it, Harry was shouting.
“SO YOU HAVEN’T BEEN IN THE MEETINGS, BIG DEAL! YOU’VE STILL BEEN HERE, HAVEN’T YOU? SAFE BEHIND WHAT I GUESS ARE SOME PRETTY FANCY WARDS IF DUMBLEDORE LETS YOU STAY HERE. YOU’VE STILL BEEN TOGETHER! ME, I’VE BEEN STUCK AT THE DURSLEYS’ FOR A MONTH! I HAVE NOT RECEIVED A SINGLE LETTER, NOT EVEN A CARD ON MY BIRTHDAY!” Every bitter and resentful thought that Harry had had in the past month poured out of him; his frustration at the lack of news, the hurt that they had all been together without him, his fury at being followed and not told about it: All the feelings he was half-ashamed of finally burst their boundaries. Hedwig took fright at the noise and soared off on top of the curtain rail again; Pigwidgeon twittered in alarm and launched from the rail, zooming around their heads.
“I’VE HANDLED MORE THAN YOU TWO’VE EVER MANAGED AND DUMBLEDORE KNOWS IT! WHO HAS FACED HIM OVER AND OVER AGAIN SINCE I GOT TO HOGWARTS? WHO SAW HIM COME BACK? WHO HAD TO ESCAPE FROM HIM? ME!”
Ron was standing there with his mouth half-open, clearly stunned and at a loss for anything to say, while Hermione looked on the verge of tears.
“BUT WHY SHOULD I KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON? WHY SHOULD ANYONE BOTHER TO TELL ME WHAT’S BEEN HAPPENING?”
“Harry, we wanted to tell you, we really did.” Hermione began.
“CAN’T’VE WANTED TO THAT MUCH, CAN YOU, OR YOU’D HAVE SENT ME AN OWL OR AT LEAST FOUND A WAY AROUND YOUR STUPID PROMISE, BUT DUMBLEDORE MADE YOU SWEAR...”
“Well, he did!” Ron said indignantly.
“FOUR WEEKS I’VE BEEN STUCK IN PRIVET DRIVE, NICKING PAPERS OUT OF BINS TO TRY AND FIND OUT WHAT’S BEEN GOING ON. FOUR WEEKS I HAVE BEEN WORRIED SICK THAT SOMETHING HAD HAPPENED TO ONE OF YOU!”
“We wanted to but..”
“I SUPPOSE YOU’VE BEEN HAVING A REAL LAUGH, HAVEN’T YOU, ALL HOLED UP HERE TOGETHER”
“Harry, we’re really sorry!” said Hermione desperately, her eyes now sparkling with tears. “You’re absolutely right, Harry, I’d be furious if it was me!”
Harry glared at her, still breathing deeply, then turned away from them again, pacing up and down. Hedwig hooted glumly from her hiding spot. There was a long pause, broken only by the mournful creak of the floorboards below Harry’s feet. The atmosphere in the room was too stifling, he turned to the door and wrenched it open, escaping back into the cool hallway.
As he walked to the stairs, he noticed a familiar figure leaning against the bannister. A grin crept onto his face and Harry ran forward, launching himself into the open arms.
“Sirius!” He gasped, clinging onto his godfather.
“Hey pup.” His godfather grinned, holding Harry back at arms length to look him over. “I thought I heard your voice up here” Harry ducked his head sheepishly, aware that it would mean that most of the houses occupants had probably heard his rant at Ron and Hermione.
“What have those blasted relatives of yours done to you, you look half starved” Sirius commented, an angry look crossing his face.
“At least you noticed” Harry replied somewhat bitterly. “Mrs Weasley thought I looked so well.” Sirius growled slightly, pulling Harry back into a hug.
“Its okay pup, you are here now, I have so much to tell you”
“Is it about the order?” Harry asked, wondering if he would finally get the answers his friends had been withholding from him all summer.
“Partially” Sirius replied, leading him up to the second floor and into a small day room. “It is also to do with Lilly.”
“What about my mum?” Harry asked, not expecting the conversation to go in this direction. Sirius took his time to reply, sitting down on one of the emerald green chairs and gesturing for harry to take the one opposite. Harry sat down impatiently, looking around the room. The dark wood walls gave the room a cosy feel, in sharp contrast to how the rest of the house had felt so far. The fire lent a warm glow to the room, with light reflecting off several silver ornaments decorating the shelves that lined the room.
“Lilly had several wishes as to how you were to be raised should the worst happen.” Sirius eventually began. “None of those plans included the Dursley's, or you growing up ignorant of your heritage. It was her desire, should she and James perish in the war, that you were to come and live with me where I could continue to raise you and teach you as she wanted. I think I was succeeded by Remus, and the Longbottoms.
“Obviously I was then arrested, and you were taken to live with the Dursleys against all of Lilly’s last wishes. I have been unable to rectify this until now. I hope that from this summer onwards I can start to make up for all the mistakes and suffering that I have been unable to prevent.”
“And the order? What is this place?” Harry asked
“Number 12 Grimmauld place is my ancestral home” Sirius replied with a bitter laugh. “The order of the phoenix is Dumbledore’s answer to the death eaters. They have made their headquarters here.”
“So you are fighting Voldemort?” Harry asked, determined to get answers now Sirius seemed willing.
“No, it is not their style. They prefer to deal in information, mainly acting in defence. Not that Voldemort is up to much as it is. And as for me, I am superfluous, aside from my ability to provide a safehouse, I am a still wanted criminal, and Wormtail will have told Voldemort about my animagus form by now, so am stuck inside feeding on the limited information they deign to give me in meetings.”
“Not so different to my summer” Harry laughed bitterly
“Quite, though at least you got to go outside and had the excitement of a dementor attack.” Sirius grinned at his godson. “Now, how have you been. I can see that they were not feeding you again, but how are you doing? Are you sleeping well? Any dreams? Any more nightmares? I am sorry I couldn’t write but Dumbledore has the order keeping a close eye on my activities, making sure I don’t do anything reckless.” A look of disgust crossed Sirius’ face and Harry grimaced in sympathy.
“I haven't had any dreams exactly, but the nightmares are still nearly every night” Harry replied, sinking into the chair and looking into the fire. “It is always Cedric, that bastard Pettigrew…” Harry trailed off, unable to put his nightmare into words. A hand on his knee brought him back to the present, and Harry looked up to see Sirius looking at him in concern.
“Its alright Harry” He said in a soft voice. “I’m here, you can talk to me whenever you feel able to.” Harry nodded mutely. “I can also bring Remus in if you would like. He has his certificate in mind healing and is helping me regain my mind after Azkaban. He will be able to help you too if you feel you need it.”
“I’m not crazy” Harry spat, knowing what Sirius was alluding to. Mind healers were the wizarding versions of shrinks, and he was well versed in others opinions of people who visited such doctors.
“So you think I am crazy” Sirius sounded hurt at the insinuation
“No!” Harry was quick to say. “Its just, mind healers are shrinks and shrinks are for crazy people and …” he trailed off not knowing how to voice the feelings.
“Is this rubbish the muggles have been telling you?”
“No, its just…” Harry trailed off, not altogether certain how to word his mixed feelings. He knew that the Dursleys’ had lied to him many times over the years, but it was hard to break the feeling that it must somehow on some level be true. Sirius seemed to realise he couldn’t verbalise this and just gave him a small smile.
“You don’t need to decide now, and I am always here to listen regardless of your decision”
Harry just nodded, the events of the day catching up to him suddenly. He stifled a yawn, flushing slightly when Sirius grinned at him.
“Now I know Mrs Weasley put you in the room with Ron, but I have an alternate suggestion,” Sirius said standing and gesturing to Harry to follow. “I imagine that you would appreciate your own space, and as this is my house and you are my godson, I have the ability to give you your own room.”
Harry stood looking at Sirius stunned. He hadn’t been expecting that offer, although he wasn’t sure if he would enjoy being trapped in another gloomy room all on his own.
“My own room?” He asked hesitantly.
“Yes, it will be yours as long as I own this house. Nothing like those horrendous guest rooms the others are staying in. My paternal Grandmother charmed them to encourage guests not to overstay their welcome. I have left it in the hopes that it will work on Mrs Weasley.” Grinning, he led Harry up another flight of stairs to the third floor, pointing out the nameplates on the doors, depicting the various people the rooms had belonged to over the centuries. At the end of the hall he came to a door with a gold plate on, the initials H.J.P inscribed in cursive letters. With a flourish, Sirius opened the door, standing back to let Harry take in the space.
Harry stepped forward in shock. The room gave off a cosy and safe atmosphere that was reminiscent of the day room they had just left, with dark blue walls and a large window that was currently charmed to overlook Kensington gardens. A large single bed sat against one wall, covered in a thick navy duvet. Along the opposite side of the room, a chest of drawers and wardrobe flanked a sturdy desk, already filled with various pieces of parchment, quills and ink.
“Is this really..?” Harry let his question trail off as he looked to his godfather
“Like I said before Harry, you are my family. You will always have a home here and that means you have a room of your own.”
Harry flung his arms around Sirius in gratitude. All of his worries over the summer, the dementor attack, being expelled and being left out of things were alleviated with this simple act. His godfather cared. He still had family.
“Now then,” Sirius said grinning as he pushed Harry out of his death grip. “The order meeting was just wrapping up when I came to find you, so I imagine dinner is ready by now. Shall we go down and I will get Kretcher to move your things while we eat. I can show you how to ward the door later.”
“Kretcher?”
“The Black family house elf. I will introduce you later” Sirius said walking Harry back down into the gloomy depths of the house “Delightful little bugger.”
Harry trailed after Sirius, not quite sure if he was joking or not. They returned to the front hall, turning right at the bottom of the staircase and down another small set of stairs to a kitchen. Harry was immediately overwhelmed with noise and the smell of various dished that weighed heavily on the long table that took up most of the room. A small shove in his back sent him walking towards the table, where the twins immediately grabbed him, pulling him into the space they made on the bench between them. With a grin and a wink they charmed various serving dishes to float over to them, depositing portions onto Harry’s plate.
“FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY,” Mrs Weasley yelled into the commotion “Just because you are of age does not mean you need to whip your wands out for every single little thing! Harry is perfectly capable of serving himself without you two harassing him” Harry bit down on a smile as the twins sniggered into his ears. Taking the dish of peas from George he continued to serve himself.
For a few minutes there was silence but for the chink of plates and cutlery and the scraping of chairs as everyone settled down to their food. Then Mrs. Weasley turned to Sirius with a slight scowl and said,
“I’ve been meaning to tell you, there’s something trapped in that writing desk in the drawing room, it keeps rattling and shaking. Of course, it could just be a boggart, but I thought we ought to ask Alastor to have a look at it before we let it out.”
“Whatever you like,” replied Sirius indifferently.
“The curtains in there are full of doxies too,” Mrs. Weasley went on. “I thought we might try and tackle them tomorrow.”
“I look forward to it,” said Sirius. Harry heard the sarcasm in his voice, but he was not sure that anyone else did. It was not long after that that Sirius got up and left, giving Harry’s shoulder a quick squeeze as he went past. Harry shot him a worried glance but was soon caught up in the twins whispered explanations of shop products they had been developing over the summer.
As dinner came to an end, they were sent up to their rooms by an irate Mrs Weasley, who had had quite enough of Tonks trying to help and Mundungus not helping enough. Harry said a quick night to the others when they reached the first floor and turned to head up to his room, but was stopped by Ron’s hand on his arm.
“Where you going mate?” He asked looking confused “You’re in with me. I thought I said?”
“Uh, yeah, Sirius gave me my own room” Harry admitted a little sheepishly.
“HE WHAT?” Ron’s yell was enough to wake Lady Black in her portrait, and her screams from downstairs were soon accompanied by the rushed footsteps of several adults from the kitchen.
“WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU CHILDREN ABOUT YELLING IN THE HALLWAYS” Mrs Weasley shouted as she made her way up the stairs. “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS RACKET”
“Harry said Sirius gave him his own room.” Ron said sulkily, causing Harry to frown at his friend. This wasn’t a big deal and he didn’t like that Ron was making it out to be one.
“Well that is just nonsense. I decided the sleeping arrangements here, and Harry is rooming with you Ron.” Mrs Weasley replied before turning to Harry. “Harry dear, I know he is your godfather, but you don’t have to listen to what he says”
“Uh, its okay Mrs Weasley, I kinda liked having..”
“I’m sure he was very persuasive, but we cant be showing any favouritism, if you get your own room, the others will want one as well and we simply don’t have enough rooms for you all. We all have to do our duty to the order” She sniffed and Harry held in a snort, it wasn’t like he was part of the order, but it seemed that he wouldn’t be able to argue his way out of this one. Thinking sadly of the nice room upstairs, he turned to follow Ron back to the dreary 2 bed room.
“I would like to remind you whose house this is Mrs Weasley” Sirius’ voice came from above them. Harry turned and gave his godfather an apologetic smile.
“Be that as it may Sirius, you are not exactly an authority figure around here. While we appreciate the use of this building, you are hardly suited to telling my children what they can and cannot do.”
“Harry is my godson, he is more my child than yours” Sirius replied with an edge to his voice that Harry had never heard before.
“And where have you been for his childhood” Mrs Weasley said acridly, causing Harry to frown, she knew exactly what had happened and why Sirius had been wrongfully imprisoned, it seemed callous that she had brought it up now.
“You know where.” Sirius seemed to agree with Harry, with the stony expression that had crossed his face. “But now I am in a position to remedy that, and I intend to, starting with providing him with his own room in his family's house. Come on Harry, your stuff is upstairs, I can show you the second floor bathroom while were up there.”
Harry sent an apologetic smile to Ron and Mrs Weasley before escaping up to his new room. He swallowed down the guilt that sat in his stomach over defying Mrs Weasley. It wasn’t that he wasn’t grateful for the care she showed. She had been lovely to him ever since Ron had rescued him back before second year, but Sirius was his real family, and he couldn’t turn that down for anything.